Top Gear (2002–…): Season 28, Episode 3 - Episode #28.3 - full transcript

Paddy, Freddie and Chris are sent on a high-altitude mountain expedition across Peru in second-hand American cars. Back at the track, Chris tests out the latest electric car from Porsche.


Thank you!

Hello and welcome to Top Gear.

Later on, we're driving the new,
all-electric Porsche.

But we kick off by talking
about America, land of the free

and home of the XXXL T-shirt.


Thank you.

For ages now, we've been pestering
the producers

to send us on a proper big
American driving adventure.

Oh, yes, America, the home
of the original road trip -

diners, drive-thrus, Route 66,
muscle cars, all that stuff.

And to our great surprise,
the producers said, OK,

you want to do the original American
road trip, no problem.

They gave us each £5,000
and told us to go online

and buy our ultimate American
road trip car.

But here's thing,
they told us to buy Peru.

Forget Route 66.

The first roads in America were
built by the Incas...

..who, over 500 years ago,

created a 25,000-mile network
branching out across South America.

The Incan capital,
and the point from which

this remarkable feat
of engineering began,

was the Peruvian city of Cusco.

Which, we'd been told,

would now be the start
of our original American road trip.

Now, obviously, this is
the producers' idea of a joke -

but the joke's on them,
because it turns out

you can buy a whole load of cool
old American gear in Peru.

Now, I've gone for a Dodge Dart,
classic '60s Americana.

Big V8, rear-wheel drive.

It's about three feet longer
than it needs to be.

It's just road-trip heaven
for me, this.

Now, where is everybody else?
Where are they?

Oh, here we go.

Here we go!

Jeez, this looks a bit tight.

Oh, you're going to hit that.

What's he doing now?


Yes, thank you very much, thank you.

All right, Chris?

Where's he going?

Not a great turning circle.

Oh, no, I'm with you, Fred.


It's a tricky gearbox, as well.

Bring her in, bring her in.

Not that fast.



That is very pretty, Fred.

A Type 2 Volkswagen.

Camper, Kombi, Microbus -
call this thing what you want,

it's just a legend.

You do know the e-mail
said American road trip...

Yeah. ..not German camping?

When you go on a road trip,
it's about freedom.

Nothing says freedom like a VW bus.

You imagine this, West Coast,
California, surfboards on the roof.

Not that I surf.

It's not an AMERICAN road-trip car,

but it is an American road-trip car.

Do you know what?
I've always wanted one of these.

I've always wanted to drive one
and never had the chance.

It's cool. It's cool.

And, to me, the drivers of these,
they just spread peace, love.

I'm getting into it.
All right, let's not push it.

Come on, come on, come on.
Come on, peace and love, Chris.

Are you saying that I'll lose some
anger if I spend time in that?

If you sat in this, the
angry little man would disappear.

I don't think he would.
You'd just be a happy little fella.

But I'm willing to try it.
I think we've done well here.

This is the Dodge Dart, by the way,
welcome to the Dart. I love Darts.

Let's have a look.
In the context of peace and harmony,

I actually really like this, Chris.

I love an American muscle car,
I really do.

Well, they're built for you, aren't
they? They're about your size.

I look like I'm driving my
dad's car,

but this looks like
it's actually for you.

Look at the size of
the steering wheel.


And what's this turning up here?
Oh, my...



Howdy, partners!

How you rootin' tootin' dootin'?



I don't know what to say! Americana.
I don't know what to say. Exactly.

It's more Tropicana, mate.

Pontiac Firebird, boys.

Two of me favourite things
growing up -

Smokey And The Bandit
and Knight Rider.

This were the star of both, end of.

The only bandit is the bloke
who sold you that thing.

Nothing wrong with this.
Fantastic car.

It's times like this
I wish I couldn't see colour.

What's wrong with you?

This looks like it's been painted
by the people who drive your car.

Don't worry about mine.

Pontiac Firebird.

Did they ever make a convertible?

The more I work with this fella,

the more I'm impressed by
his car knowledge.

But I think this one might have
slipped under your radar, Chris.

This is a very rare,
South American version.

It's a DIY job, innit?

Yeah. Yeah.

If you want to... Yeah.

Can you read out the name
of your tyres to us, please?

Oh, glad you asked.

Happy Gallop. What? Happy Gallop.

Doesn't that make you feel good?
The sun's out, got me cowy hat on.

I tell you, life's good, boys.

It's going to be good adventure,

Ah, howdy. Thank you.


"Welcome to your original
American road trip.

"You will now travel from Cusco
to the Vilcabamba mountains,

"the end of the road for the Incas."

The Vilcacamp... What? What?


Right. That's what it says, boys.

We're at Costco at the moment? Are
we going to buy some cheap crockery?

No, we're not at Costco.
Where are we?

We're in Cusco.
Cusco, as opposed to where?

Home of the topless Pontiac.

Great. I hope it rains.

Let's do it. I hope it rains.

It's not going to rain here!

It's got no fold-up roof, has it?

It's not needed. Not needed.

Right, let's get out of here.

Paddy, can you drive at the back
so we don't have to look at that?

Hey, saddle up, partner!




Yes, our original American road trip
would take us west,

across the Peruvian Highlands,
through the Andes,

to the last refuge
of the Incan Empire.

It would be a journey

across some of the toughest, highest
terrain we'd ever encountered...

..but heading out of Cusco,
we were feeling confident.

All right, girls?

Everybody loves a Pontiac.

Yeah, it's loud and it's brash,

but that's what these American
muscle cars are supposed to be.

They're not supposed to be subtle
and understated,

they're supposed to be loud
and in your face and...

..and modded up.

I mean, this car was in Smokey And
The Bandit, Burt Reynolds drove it.

I mean, not exactly
this particular one,

because his had a roof on
and mine's had the roof taken off.

But if you want to outrun the
sheriff, you want to be in this.

V8, five litres, what's not to like?

This is gorgeous, this thing.

V8, loads of torque,
big steering wheel, comfy seat,

elbow on the door.

I mean, the Americans had
it right in the '60s.

This is just relaxed motoring.

I love it.

I reckon I bought
the perfect car for this trip.

And I got to tell you,
since I started driving it,

I have not stopped smiling.

No wonder the hippies have 'em.

These are inclusive.

Get in, come and join us.

Come on me adventure.

Not in a dogging way, in a nice way.

Now, our adventure had been going
for about 20 minutes.


Oh, God.

Which, unfortunately
for the Bandit...

Oh, God.

..was all the time his Firebird
needed to go wrong.

I don't think it's going to
get round here.



Don't know what he's playing at.

That doesn't feel right.

Feels like me wheel's coming off.

Is that coming out of Paddy's...?

Yeah, that's coming out Paddy's car.

Pad, you've got quite a bit of
liquid coming out of your car now.

Out of mine?

Yeah, lots of it. Pull over.

That's it.

Oh, yeah. That's not good.

How many miles have we done?

It's not very Firebird-esque,
is it?

The grin from your face
has gone pretty quick!

Right. Give it a minute.

Waiting for the Firebird
to simmer down,

Fred went in search of refreshments.

Oh, lovely!

What have you got,
what have you got? Thank you, sir.

Hey, lads, you know what this is?

This is a South American
version of a Mini Milk. Is it?

And have you got a head gasket
for a Firebird?

Doesn't need a head gasket.
Mate, that is cooked.

Luckily, though, it looked like
the previous owner

might have had this happen before.


And with the Pontiac's
radiator topped back up...

Good as new, boys!

..we got back on the road.

Here we go.


Oh, God.

This is the trouble with buying
things off the internet.

Looks fantastic.


..absolute bag of spanners.

Ah, I've been overtaken
by a Hyundai.

Oh, the indignity!

And, in no time at all...


Full up.

Slightly staccato start
to the trip, then,

but at least the Dart and I were
settling into life on the road.

This is lovely.

I've got snow-capped peaks
ahead of me,

a V8 burbling away
in front of my legs,

occasionally I find a gear.

What's the cornering like?

Not too bad.

Brakes, well they are very...


Whoa, yeah, they're quite sharp.



Go on, son! Go on, son!



Ah, now, that one's just fallen off.

Just as well, then,
that there was no sign of rain.


The weather's turned.

So pleased I'm in this car.

Blimey O'Reilly.

Windows up.


You're not too wet, are you, Paddy?
Are you all right?


Single wiper set-up
works brilliantly.

Yes, wiper!

Oh, no!

Thankfully, the storm soon cleared

and a little further up the road,

Harris had an idea to get us back
into the American road trip spirit.

Lads, straight road!

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

What, pull in and get a change
of underwear and some dry clothing?

That shouts speed.

Drag race, come on.

Let's do it.

Yes, with the producers
closing off the road,

it was time for a classic
quarter-mile drag race.

And, giving the Firebird
some more time to cool off,

first up it would be
Dodge versus VW.


All right!

You're against a VW bus!

Can't hear you, Fred!


OK, gentlemen,

quarter of a mile drag race,

the winner takes on The Bandit.

All right.

Three, two, one.


Oh, go on the Dart!

Well, there goes Harris.

She's flying! She's flying!

She's flying across the line...


Over the line.

The worrying thing is,

that camper van looks like it
set off quicker than I will.

Understandably concerned
for his Firebird's performance,

McGuinness snuck in
a practice start.


Come on, son, hurry up.



What the...?


That's not good.

That's not good.


Was there a pothole in the road?


Erm, there appears to be no wheel.

Oh, Paddy.



How much did you give for this?

He's had me over, boys.
I think he has. I mean...

He's had me over.

It looked quite violent
from the inside.

You were rodeo...
Oh, I need to see my...

..rootin' tootin' chiropractor.

To end up in this
bright orange car...

The wheels have fallen off!

If there was ever
the perfect metaphor!


This is it, the wheels are off!


I'm gutted about the Firebird.


It had been a tough day
for McGuinness,

and what he really needed now
was a bit of sympathy.

Paddy, let's just recap
on your day so far.

You turn up in a bright orange car,

you then get soaking wet,

because you got rid of the roof,

and to top it all off...

..the wheels have fallen off.

Oh, sorry.

You stupid BLEEP


Do you think
it was the right car to buy?

Should we demonstrate
the brakes again?

Not really.

You are going to do, aren't you?
No, I'm not going to do that.


Stupid BLEEP!

Look at that.

I've not got enough whiplash!


And if you carry on, I will throw
some water on you as we drive.

I'm just saying.

So, do not start.

You're getting it.


You're getting it. That's that.


You've asked for that.

Fred, it's gone downhill
a bit in here.

Why? I'm less dry than I was.

Oh, is he throwing water around,
or is it his tears?



I'd just like to say... Oh, God.

..welcome to the Dart.

Yeah. Thanks for having me.

Really pleased.

Now down to just two cars,
the producers told us

to head to the nearby
town of Chinchero,

where they'd called up a few
like-minded enthusiasts

who might just be able to get
our road trip back on track.

Oh, wow.

These are gorgeous. Oh, yes.


Chevy truck.

These are amazing. I love these.

It's mint.

There's another Pontiac,
over there, Paddy.

Oh, the Firebird!


I tell you what, Paddy,
do you know, when you see yours

and then you see this... I know.

You've got to admit it,
this is beautiful.

Crack her open.

It's got a big block! Oh!

Look at that!

Have you seen the Camaro, next door?
Yeah. Oh, yes, yes, yes.

That is gorgeous.



Turns out the classic American
car scene is pretty big in Peru.

What's this?

Oh, hey...

And one of them was up for sale -

and in budget.



Sounds healthy.

Yeah. I like it.

Christopher? Yeah.

Tell him I'll have it.

The next morning,

we awoke in the historic Incan town

of Ollantaytambo.

Oldsmobile Cutlass.

I am very, very, very happy
with this.

It's a marked improvement
on your Pontiac.

Hey, I was doing
a bit of research in the room,

last night on the old t'internet.

Faster 0-60 than the Firebird, this.

180 brake horsepower.

Right, shall we get in

and head off into the sunset?

If you were The Bandit yesterday,
what are you in this, today?

P Addy.

Like Puff Daddy, P Addy.

P Diddy wouldn't be seen
dead in that. You what?!

Look at it! Give his right... chain for this. Shut up!

Shush! Get in, let's go.



Off we go!

At last, we had a convoy that might
not break down for five minutes.

Yeah, this is living!

Just driving my Oldsmobile Cutlass
around South America!

And before heading out of town,

we decided what our American
road trip needed

was a proper drive-through

at the local market.



Here we go, what we got here?

Excuse me, excuse me?

This VW is about peace...

..and happiness.

Could I... Could you decorate...

Decorate the front...
Todo rojo? Todo rojo?

..with flowers?

All down the front, please?

50? Yeah?

It's a hippie wagon, isn't it?

Ahora! Hey!


Chilli, chilli, chilli!


I've gone grocery shopping,
I'm just buying veg, I love it.

I like your hat.

Very clever.

I like that!

While Harris raided the grocers,

McGuinness was trying his hand
at drive-through gift shopping.

Oh! This is the way to shop.

What have we got, ladies?

Oh, wow!


It reminds me
of somebody I work with.

In fact, have you got two?
One more. Two?

Oh, yeah, that's actually perfect.


Here we go.

Look at this! Now we're talking.

This is a proper VW camper!

We're off to Woodstock, come on!

Oh, that's nice.

You reckon?

Yeah, it's good, good. Yeah?

What a job that is.

I've got my hat and I'm going
to get myself a blanket.

OK, gracias. Thank you, gracias.

All right, that's beautiful.

Thank you so much, thank you.

Oh, my word.

Love bus complete,
and road trip firmly back on track,

it was time to head out of town.

I've got to say, with the flowers
on the front of that Volkswagen,

it does suit it, that car,
doesn't it?

Cheers, Pad.
Successful trip, I think.


We were heading once again
towards the Vilcabamba mountains.

And to reach them,

we'd have to climb over
the Abra Malaga Pass.

At almost 60 miles in length,

this switchback stretch
of tarmac perfection

is one of the most stunning roads

in all of South America.

Look at that! Look at that!

Wow, look at this.


It keeps going, look,
there's road all the way up there!

But climbing high
into the Peruvian sky,

Flintoff was quickly discovering
it's also... of the most challenging.

Oh, we've lost Fred.
Where's Fred gone?

Where's Bob Dylan?
Is he still back there?

As we're getting higher,
just losing power.

I only had 50 horsepower
to begin with.

I hate to think what I'm using now.

Just stuck in first gear.

As soon as I put it into second,
just dies.

While Fred's slowed to
a breathless crawl, though...

Come on, the VW, keep going.

..the two big American V8s

were relishing the challenge.

Oh, good torque!

Great torque from the Dart!

I've only gone into second gear,

Get in, Paddy!

I think it likes the altitude.

I'm going to go for third.

She's still pulling.

I'm in third!

Don't look to your right,
do not look to your right.


That wall'll definitely
stop you there!

Christ alive!

It's still pulling.

We're still going up.

And then, Peru decided to show us

what the original American road trip

really had to offer.

Look at that view.

That is outrageous!

That's literally
like you're in heaven.

This might be the best hour's
driving I've had on the road...

..ever, and I don't think
I've gone over 35mph.



the really memorable drives

aren't what you imagine
they would be.

Didn't think I'd be in a slightly
clapped out Dodge Dart in Peru,

doing this.



And over the top we go.

Whoa, what a road.

That makes the Stelvio Pass
look like the A406 North Circular.

With the others cresting the summit,

my little camper
finally caught back up.

Oh, he's back, Fred.

I can see the flowers
are looking a bit worse for wear.

It's not so much
a '60s hippie thing now,

more like a busted-up old allotment!

Yeah, I'm still here, lads,
I'm still trucking on.

And all that waited for us now

was the drive back down.

Come on, Fred, let her run,
let her roll.

Here we go.

Our cars had conquered
the Abra Malaga Pass.

And we were now one big step closer

to the Vilcabamba mountains.

And with the sun starting to set,

we pulled over

for an authentic Peruvian
drive-through supper.

Can I just say... Yeah.
..this is lovely.

It's nice, isn't it? Yeah.

Thank you. Potatoes, there you go.

Oh! There you go. Jacket spuds.

A bit of sauce? A bit of sauce?
Here you go.

Hold that, hold that.

A bit of meat, now.

This is perfect.

Lads, here's your meat.

There you go, Chris.

It's a delicacy over here, this.

You're in for a treat.
There you go, Paddy, one for you.

It's like a kebab.

Thank you, thanks very...
Oh, you want some money?

There you go. Thank you.

What's that?

It's cuy. You what?

Guinea pig.

What is wrong with you?

What? Fred, my daughter's got
two of these

and one of them's called Timmy.

If I eat this,
she will never talk to me again.

Fred, you're eating a pet!

It's a pet!

What are you doing?

Punch and Judy.

It's not Punch and Judy...
That's not the Punch and Judy I saw.

Is that what they did at
your school?

Do you not think they've gone
through enough, them two?


Surely to God!


Wrong. No.

Local delicacy. No, wrong.

It's just...

Freddie, it's just not right.
You'll eat anything.

Where do you go for your lunch?
Pets At Home?!


I mean... To be fair,
I'll eat most things.

Yeah. I draw the line at quinoa.

Right, OK.

Stop trying to deflect attention
from that orange monstrosity.

What a horrible,
horrible car that was.

Firstly, don't speak about
Fred like that. OK. What?!

I thought his LeBaron the other week
was the worst car

we'd ever had on Top Gear. Worst?
But you've beaten it. Oh.

That Pontiac was terrible. Yeah.

I thought it was going to be
all about Smokey And The Bandit

and everything else,
but it just turned out to be Bandit.

And that was it.

A lot of smoke, as well. Yeah!

Anyhow, we'll get back to that film
a little later in the show.

But before that, exciting news,

because Porsche has built
an electric car.

It's called the Taycan.

And as you'd expect from a Porsche,

it isn't slow.

This battery powered
four-door sports car

can generate a monstrous...

..750 horsepower.

And as you'd also expect
from a Porsche,

it isn't cheap.

It costs £140,000.

So, if it's going to tempt buyers
away from petrol,

at that price,

it had better be good.


Special moment, this,
and I mean a really special moment

because Porsche make arguably

the best internal combustion
engine cars on the planet.

Expectations are high.

And while the Taycan follows
the familiar

motor-at-each-end recipe

used by every other fast
electric car,

it has to be said,

this one does feel a bit different.

From the start,

it feels like a Porsche.

The driving position is low,

the seat is just pinching
my kidneys,

the steering wheel is familiar.

And it's so quiet!

That's the thing about
electric cars.

Because there's no engine
and gearbox noise,

you hear other noises,

nasty noises -

squeaks, tyres thrumming away,

suspension pounding at the bumps.

But they're all
so well suppressed in here.

In fact,

it means I'm complaining that
the rain is too noisy today.

I've got noisy rain!

And underneath the surface,

that familiar electric car recipe

has been even more refined.

And, as ever, Porsche's been
learning from its exploits

on the racetrack.

The 919 Le Mans winner

used a special Porsche-designed
electric motor

that's smaller and more power dense
than any rival,

and that's what's
appeared in this car.

If it's good enough to win Le Mans,

it's probably good
enough for your daily commute.

Oh, I mean, that is so fast!

You put your foot down,
you're in another dimension.

And the ride comfort... superb.

This is the most comfortable
Porsche ever,

by some margin!

But perhaps the biggest news of all

is that this Taycan
might just have the answer

to the electric car world's
greatest dilemma -

charge time.

Allow me to explain.

Imagine this thing here
is your car battery

and this is your cable
from the mains.

Now, the lower the voltage,
the lower the pressure

at which you can shove electricity
from this

into your car battery.

Which is why regular cars
take so long to charge.


..the Taycan runs at 800 volts,

double the normal amount,

and that means... get a lot more
pressure in your pipes,

which means you can
fill your battery

much, much faster!

You get the idea.

To put it another way,

find yourself
a 270 kilowatts charger

and you can add 200 miles of range

in just over 20 minutes.

200 miles of range

in the time it takes
to have a sandwich

and a little comfort break.

It's dead impressive, isn't it?

The only problem is... you know how
many 270 kilowatt chargers

there are currently in the UK?



It's not much, is it?

Once again, electric car technology
is miles ahead of infrastructure.

And do you know how long it would
take to charge this thing

if you plugged it in at home?

About a day!

And there are a couple of other
problems with the Taycan,


..with its size.

It's not a 5 series sized car
or a 3 series sized car,

it's sort of in between,

which means the back seats really
aren't very big at all.

And the rear shelf is really high.

I mean, there must be some
electrical gubbins under there,

which means there's a tiny
pillar-box view out the rear.

And then there's the name.

Because this fastest Taycan

is called the Turbo S.

You can't give an electric car

a turbo charger.

That badge... fake news.

No - according to Porsche,

turbo doesn't mean turbo any more.

It's now just means...

..really fast.

So, the question for the Taycan
Turbo S is...

just how "really fast" is it?

Right, Mr Electric Porsche,

launch control.

So, I go Sport Plus,
maximum response,

left foot on the brake,
right foot on the throttle

and here we go.

Oh, my Lord!

That's fast!

It's just done 90

and 100 miles an hour.


100 and...

Allow me to be
a little bit speechless.

It's relentless!

This thing will go from
a standing start

to the speed limit on a motorway
in about three seconds.

If that's not fast enough for you...

..go and take up base jumping
or something.


And while most electric cars,
after that sort of launch,

have to go and cool down for a bit
before having another go,

with its higher voltage
and clever motors,

the Taycan can do the big
acceleration thing again...


..and again.

That's 120mph.


..and again.


It hurts my kidneys!

Better still,

Porsche has pulled every
engineering trick in the book

to make sure the Taycan is also
like no other electric car

through the corners.



It's got rear-wheel steering,
it's got torque vectoring,

it's got electromechanical roll

The upshot is, it goes
like a Porsche round a track!




This thing weighs 2.4 tonnes.

That's more than a Range Rover!

It has no right to drive like this,

to accelerate, stop,

and change direction
the way it does.


We just did a smoker.

We just did a smoker in a Porsche!

I've never done that
in an electric car before.


OK, you've got my attention now,
Porsche, you've got my attention.

This has not been done before.

Make no mistake.

In this brave new
world of electric cars,

the Taycan is properly

It's slidey.


It isn't just
an incredible achievement...

The work that must have gone in!

..nor is it just
the best engineered,

best driving electric car ever made.


I love it!


The Taycan is also absolute proof

that our electric future
won't just be fast,

it'll be seriously...


Electric skids,
I've got a new favourite sport.






Now... So good.

Listen, do you want us all to go

and you and the car just get
a room together,

because you really love it?

It's fantastic, Paddy.

Honestly, it's the best car
I've driven in ages.

We've known for a long time that
electric cars can be stupid fast,

but this is stupid fast
and beautifully built

and it's fun to drive.

It's a game changer.

Anyway, we need to find out how fast
the Taycan goes round our track.

After Chris tested it,
we sent The Stig out to do a lap.

Have a look at this.

Watch this now off the line.

Within three seconds, Stig's kidneys
will be in the back-seat.

Look at the way it goes. Even scoots
down at the back like a hyena.

Already he's doing 80, 90,
probably 110mph.

Look how flat it is.

It looks absolutely
slammed into the surface.

Four-wheel drive,
so traction is immense.

I mean, it just looks brutal.

It's pulling performance out
of the road that shouldn't be there.

Stig looks composed, as ever.

Out of Chicago using
all the width of the circuit.

Listen to that noise as well,
a very distinctive sound,

it's a new sound, but I like it.
It's fast.

That little wiggle
before hammerhead.

Again, look at the lack
of body roll.

Look at the way the suspension
is just compressing minutely

and giving traction.

This car is so impressive.

We've not seen anything like it.

Rear end wants to come
round into the follow-through,

Stig controls it nicely
through the tyre wall.

Oh, God, that looks fast.

A bit of oversteer, as well.

Second to last, the most difficult
corner on our track,

spots his turning point

and the thing
just darts straight in.

Super flat, superfast,

and now Gambon.

That is impressive.
That is impressive.


Great lap, that.

Great lap.

Chris, that did look quick,

but where do you think we're
looking at on our lap board?

It's got to be around here,
hasn't it? Surely? Yeah, easily.

Well, I've got the time.

And I can tell you,

the Porsche Taycan went round

in one minute...


So, it's the same as a Honda NSX.

That is so impressive. Wow!

I am happy with that. That is mad.

So, first of all, the grudge match,

it's absolutely nailed
the Model 3 Tesla,

it's smashed that.

It's beating our previous super
saloon by a massive margin

and underneath there,

well, it's the same speed
as Honda's supercar

and it's a 2.4 tonne
electric saloon.

It's hugely impressive.


Now, it's time to get back
to our big Peruvian adventure,

where we are about to get high,

really high.

Day three of our
original American road trip.

And our little convoy
was running along beautifully.


I'm only in third gear, boys!


Go on, the Dart.

This thing is flying.

This is good. I think this is
the fastest I've been, so far.

Must be touching 50.

I'm going to get past these lads.






He's got a new lease of life.

I looked in my rear-view mirror

and I saw an allotment
hurtling towards me!

Having crossed the soaring
Abra Malaga Pass the day before,

the end of our journey
in the Vilcabamba mountains

was now within easy reach.

And to make the most
of our excellent progress,

the producers told us
there was time to stop off

to check out some local motorsport.


What is this?

That looks dangerous to me.

Watch this fella hanging off now,
watch him round the corners.

Look at that!

He's got one leg off.

This is a Peruvian invention
called motocar cross.

Sitting somewhere between sidecar
and traditional motocross racing,

the driver and passenger
work as a team to take the fastest

possible line over the dirt, all
the while maintaining a refreshingly

relaxed attitude to safety.

Oh, that'll shy! Oh! Oh!


It looks like a really, really
novel way to hurt yourself.

Hola. Hi.

Hola. Hola.

We've got you a drive
in the next race.

There you go, you knew it.

Yes, to give us a proper taste
of this utter lunacy,

we'd now take turns being
hunted down by the locals.


Starting from the front of the pack,

we'd each head out to drive two laps
with a pro on the back

and our aim would be to try
and avoid being overtaken or maimed.

So, on a scale of one to ten,
how likely are we to crash?

I'm going up to an eight.

Yeah, same here.

And as the most experienced racer,
apparently I was up first.

Good luck, Chris.

Nice knowing you, Chris.

Go on, Chris!

Come on! Come on!

He's having a go, here,
Harris, isn't he?

Oh, blimey.


Go on, Harris.
He's holding them off.

Oh, this is brutal.

One lap down...

Go on, Harris!

..and Harris was keeping his nose
in front.

Oh, God!

But then...


No, he's getting taken.
Yeah, he has.



There'll be a list of excuses. Yeah.

I can't see where I'm going!

To give him his due, though,
by the end of his run,

Harris had managed to drop
just three places...

I'm knackered!

..and McGuinness... Let's do it.

..was up next.

He's going to give it
some down here.

Go on, Pad. Go on, Pad.




He's going to go straight on.
He's going too fast.

Whoa-ho! Whoa-ho!


He was nearly off then.

It's quite quick and it just doesn't
want to go round corners.

Very easy to tip it over, as well,
I think.

Oh, brilliant.

Somewhere in the dust and chaos,

amazingly McGuinness had only
been overtaken once.

And unfortunately for Flintoff,
that meant, as he headed out,

the local pros were out for blood.

You took him on the bend!

They're coming on the inside.

No, no, no! No!

He can't see!

Look at the dust! Look at the dust!

That's horrible! Oh, Fred, come on!

The pros had piled on...

I can't see a thing.

..and buried down in the middle
of the pack, I had no chance.

What sort of sport is this?

Go on, Fred! Go on!

I can't see a BLEEP thing!

I don't think he saw me.


This is horrible.

Mate, that was harsh.

I couldn't see...
Oh, Jesus Christ! Ugh!

And with that, it was time to
leave the world of motocar cross

firmly behind...


..and get back on the road.

Well, at least I'm back in the
Camper and it's running well.

My happy place.

That's the thing about this car.

Everything just slows down.

Your speed on the road,
you get a chance to look around -

but your mood, as well.

Whoops-a-daisy. Whoops-a-daisy.

Oh, you prick.
I'm in the wrong gear.


There we go. Sorry.

Even that, I've had an absolute
shocker there.

Who cares?


Just as Flintoff got back
to his happy place, though,

we discovered it was going
to be a tough afternoon.

Boys, there's a challenge card
there. Come on.

What have we got?

"Welcome to the
Vilcabamba mountains.

"End of the road for the Incas -
but not for you.

"To end your original
American road trip,

"you will now attempt to
reach the top

"of the fearsome Abra Yanama Pass,

"one of the most dangerous
roads in the world."

Course it is.

"You must ALL" - that's in capitals,
that bit - "make it to the top."

We're going up there?

That's in the clouds.

It's in the clouds.

What are they?



The Abra Yanama Pass
is a rough gravel track

that climbs to an altitude
of over 4,500 metres.

Higher than any road in Europe,
any road in North America, frankly,

it was hard to see how any of our
cars would make it to the summit.

All we could do was
head off uphill to find out.




Ooh, dear. Right, OK.

The car is so hot
and the fumes are blowing in.

Even with the windows down,
it's not doing it.

I'm going to have to do old school
like this.

I say old school.
I've never done it in my life.

What is he doing?

The roads are getting narrower.



Agh! Agh! Agh!

Over in the Camper, meanwhile,

having already struggled at altitude
earlier in the trip,

overnight, Flintoff had been busy
working on a secret weapon.

Are you using the secret weapon yet,

No, not necessary yet.
It's running so well.

I'm looking forward to seeing this.

And as luck would have it,

Fred's Camper soon gave us
the opportunity to take a look.

Oh, you're winding me up.

It cut out.

Everything OK, gentlemen?

Do me a favour.
Before you do that...

Get your secret weapon on.

..keep the comedian at the front.

I've just come down to help.

Where is the secret weapon,
by the way? There.

What, that plastic tub?

Yeah, it's some washer fluid,
I think.

Yeah, go on.


OK, wait there, Fred. Wait there.

There's some pressure coming
out of the crankcase here.

There's this thing...

Problems aside, can I just say,
I've been looking in the back there

and I've been very excited -
you've been saying about this...

I've not switched it on yet.
No, I know, but I've just seen it.

He's just shown it to me.

It's a plastic bottle
with a bit of washer fluid in it.

Paddy! Paddy!

Is now the time to
shatter his dream?

OK, try it again.


Yes. Are we off?

He's broken down,
you've started taking the mickey

out of his special system.

No, I was looking forward
to seeing it.

I didn't think it was going
to be a sample bottle.

I think you're being unfair there.
Yeah, you're right.

This is going to be thrilling.

I think we got off
on the wrong foot.

We've started being mean
to each other again.

I didn't mean to say
you had a piss pot in the back.

So... Is that an apology?



That is the new Paddy McGuinness.

Yeah, he needs to work
on his apologetic skills, though.


I'll go and do it again straight.

Go on.

I, er... He's had a word there
and to be fair...

Look me in the eyes
when you're doing it.


BLEEP. Let's get in the cars.
I'll never be able to do it.


Piss pot!

With still no clue what
Flintoff had actually

stuck in the back of his car,
we carried on climbing.

Oh, Jesus!

That's my rear view gone.

1,800 metres now and we're already
well beyond anything

in the British Isles
and I'm not struggling for power.

This bodes well.



Yes, baby.

The engine's getting so hot,

so on that last stop
I just opened the flap

just to cool it down.

Wow, look at this.

Oh, that is grim.

That's a massive amount of earth
and rock that's flown down there.

Oh! Go on, Cutlass.

Now past 2,500 metres and all three
cars were still marching on.

Engine's still pulling nicely.

I definitely notice the fact
the air's thinning, though.

Oh, it's just getting
a bit jumpy now.

I don't know if the altitude's
starting to take effect.

It's time, I think.

Time to turn on the secret weapon.

So, we pulled over and braced
ourselves for the big moment.

It's time.

Round the back. Are you ready?

We're ready. Stand back.

This is going to be good, this.



Oh, it's got a red light.
Yeah, look at that.

The red light's very impressive.

I like that.
Not the sample thing.

I'm going to be right up
the back of you now, lads.

OK, what my secret weapon
actually does

is get more oxygen into the engine
to help performance.

The bottle's full of water,
you pass a current through the water

and it separates it
into hydrogen and oxygen.

Feed that oxygen into the engine
and it runs better.


Running nicely.

Slow progress
but this is what the VW wants.

And with Fred's car now doing
whatever it was doing, next...


Who's beeping?

It was the Cutlass that was
starting to complain.




Will you shut up?

This Cutlass has got
a mind of its own.

Oh, BLEEP. Oh, my door!

Oh, God.

More than can be said of its driver.


What's that, Cutlass?


Chris Harris is a bell-end?

Yeah, I know he is.




That was very close, McGuinness.

Very, very close.

Too close, in fact.

The Cutlass needed a redesign.

There she goes!

Oh, hey, there's some weight in it,
isn't there?

That's a heavy door, that.
Are you all right?

I've just watched two
Northerners wreck a car.

Now well past the halfway point

and heading into the steepest
section of the pass,

all three cars were coping well
with the climb...

..until, without warning...


Oh, God.

Just lost my clutch, I think.

Yeah, I've got no drive.

Left pedal's gone.

That's not an easy fix.


It was doing so well.

I had no fears about the engine
and the gearbox, the transmission.

But I thought the chassis
would let go. But it's the clutch.

What are you going to do, mate?

Tow it up there.

Tow it? I'm not sure about that.

I'm not sure who's going to tow it.

Come on. Work with me here.
You can't abandon the Dart. Come on.

We could.


And we did.


Now, technically,
we're still within the rules

cos it's about all three of us
getting up there.

Yeah, for the second
time as in as many trips abroad,

Harris had killed his car
and it was now down to the Cutlass

and the Camper to get us
up to the top of the pass.

Come on...


Fred, you OK?

Starting to lose a little
bit of power but we're all right.

Yeah, this thing, if it idles,
it doesn't go fast enough

so you have to go quick
to get round the tight bits.

You're not going to make...

You're not going to make that,
you're not... Yes, I am!

Come on.



4,000 metres!
Raise your hands!


Don't get too excited, lads.
We're still going.

Let's celebrate at the top.


650 metres to climb and we were
now heading into the clouds.

It's getting colder
and it's getting damper.

Come on, the VDub.

You are an unbelievable machine.

Look at that rock.

Yeah, avoid that. Don't straddle it!


Why have you done that?

That's now stuck underneath us.

Oh, Paddy, come on.

Don't stop there, son.

That is the most stupid thing
you've ever done.

BLEEP sake.

If you slow me down and stop
I can't get going again, lads.

BLEEP. Paddy, stop! Whoa!

Jeez, I didn't know
he was even there.

Why didn't you tell me
you were behind me, you bell-end?!

He's right behind you.

Oh, too late now!

The altitude was beginning
to take its toll...

..and if we were going to reach
the top of the pass,

from here on out
we had to keep moving.


Whoa! Whoa!
Where's he come from?

All right, boss? You all right?

What are you doing up here?

My wipers don't work!

But surely the end is in sight.

4,300, Fred.

That's the highest
I've been in a car.


Keep going.

How can we still have
300 metres to go?

It feels like we are in the gods
at the moment.


Come on, the Cutlass!


No way that van's getting
up there, is there?

Come on!


I think that helped.

It bloody has, as well. Amazing.


Come on!

Who would have thought?
I'm over 4,400 metres up

in a Volkswagen Camper
and it's not giving up!

Come on!

4,454, Fred.

I'm out of breath.

No, come on.

Come on.

Don't do this to me now!

Not now!


Where is he?

We've lost him.

Can you see him?


I can see him. I can see him.
I can see him. Where? There.

That little blue speck there.

Come on!

Get in, my son!


Keep going.

There'll be hippies everywhere
shouting at the telly urging us on.

Is that the summit?

Yes, that's the summit.


Over 4,600 metres up...

Oh, look at that.

..we broke out of the cloud
and reached...


..the top of the pass.

Made it!


It's only gone and got here!

We've only gone and done it.
Gone and done it.

We've only gone and done it.

I cannot believe that
that has got up there.

Look at that.
I am surprised that...

Wow, look at that.

Top of the world.

Is it fair to say that a VW Camper

and a Cutlass have never
been as high ever?

Never. Never. Never.

Hey, just remembered something,

Bit dusty!

We've done our all-American
road trip, boys!


Rootin' tootin' done it!


All right!


Are you done? I think so.




That was good fun.


Good fun.

Now, as you can see, the cars
are not here,

and that's because they've worked
their little socks off.

We felt bad dragging them
halfway across the world.

Better give them
a nice gentle retirement

in the country they call home.

And also because
they were completely wrecked

and we couldn't drive them
any further.

Yeah, there is that, too. Yeah.

But even though they're not here,

we need to decide who chose
the best American road trip car.

And it's obviously
between me and Fred.

Chris, yours didn't even
make it up the hill.

Hang on. Yours is long gone.

The first car you bought
didn't last ten miles.

You can't just buy a car, wreck it,
then buy another car and wreck it.

You're literally describing every
Top Gear trip we do, to be honest.


Paddy, there's only one winner here.

It's the car that started at the
start and the only one which made it

to the end.

The mighty VW Bus.


Come on!

He knows.

So what you're saying is,

the best American road trip car
isn't American... Yeah.

..and it's not even a car? Yeah.

Helpful as ever, lads.

Fair enough.
That's all for tonight.

We'll be back next week

when these two compete in
the brutal Baja 1000 off-road race,

and I get myself a Lamborghini
for the price of a Renault.

See you, then. Goodnight.