Top Gear (2002–…): Season 24, Episode 2 - Episode #24.2 - full transcript

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

Hello, and welcome
to Top Gear.

Tonight, we've got
Porsche versus Lamborghini.

And Chris Harris
versus a large wall.

But we begin with Alfa Romeo.

Back in the '60s,
Alfa created cars like this,

the GTA,
that were genuine
world-beaters.

Fast, cutting edge,
and brilliant.

Trouble is,
since those heady times,

the Alfa story
has been one of
disappointment,



false dawn,
and disappointment.

But now, there's a new Alfa

that finally promises
to bring back
the good old days.

This is the Alfa Romeo Giulia.

And like any good Alfa,
it's a looker.

But like no Alfa four-door
in a very long time,

the Giulia
is rear-wheel drive.

And under the bonnet of this
£59,000 Quadrifoglio version,

is a twin turbo V6

making over 500 horsepower.

Exciting headlines,
but come on, this is Alfa.

It can't possibly
live up to the promise.

Can it?

(ENGINE ROARING)



Oh, yes, it can!

This thing is mighty

in just about every area.

But I'm gonna start
with that engine.

It's effectively a Ferrari V8
with two cylinders
lopped off the front.

So what you have

is an Alfa Romeo saloon
powered by a Ferrari engine.

How cool is that?

And then there's
the way it works.

It does
an incredible impression

of a normally
aspirated engine.

At the top
where most turbo engines
kind of run out of puff,

this one keeps going.

(ENGINE REVVING)

That V6 is a fraud
in the most perfect way.

It's so fast! (LAUGHS)

(ENGINE ROARS)

But there's no point
in having all that power
and torque

if the chassis can't cope.

And that's
the genius of this car.
The chassis can cope.

There's so much grip
on these roads.

And you can
just fire it into turns
at unbelievable speed.

And the whole thing
just feels so composed.

That's the word, composed.

They've even done
serious things
like weight saving.

Large areas of the bodywork
are made from carbon fibre.

Most of the interior's
covered in the stuff.

And what isn't carbon fibre
is aluminium.

It's all very convincing.

And then,
there's where you sit.

Italy has spent decades
perfecting the art

of the awful driving position.

It's a matter
of national pride.

But somehow, they've
managed to forget it all
with this car.

Because these seats
are perfect.

This steering wheel
is in just the right place.

I can only assume
that at some point
in the early '70s,

all the Alfa engineers

that knew about making
a car fun to drive

got accidentally locked
in a store cupboard.

And then
at some point last year,
Alfa found the key.

All those years
spent reworking

flabby
front-wheel drive Fiats,

all those disappointments
we've endured.

At last.

This Giulia is the real deal.

CHRIS: I can't believe
this is happening.

This is
one of the best moments
of my year so far. (LAUGHS)

And I know.

This is the bit
where I'm supposed
to reveal the big "but,"

to conclude that, yes,
the Giulia is interesting,

but still basically rubbish.

But it isn't.

It isn't rubbish at all.

It's magnificent.

And that, ironically,
is the problem.

Now Alfa's
finally created a car

capable of mixing it
with the best in the world,

it's going to have to...

Well, you can see
where this is going.

(CHUCKLING)
That is the BMW M3.

The sort of car
unlikely to be amused

by some pretty-faced Italian
muscling in on its patch.

Oh, no, you don't, Wolfgang.

(LAUGHS)

The M3 really is the defining
super-saloon of our era.

It's a spectacular car
and I adore it. I really do.

This thing
really can live with it.

I've got more power,

I've got more torque,
I've got less weight.

What's not to love?

This Alfa
is all over this BMW,
whether he likes it or not.

(LAUGHS) Oh, thug.

Oh, he may have
a bit more low down punch

and his interior plastic's
may be a bit better.

But I mean,
look, this armrest,

that could come off
at any point.

But I know which car
I'd rather be in right now,

and it's not the M3.

I can't believe
I'm saying that,
but it's not the M3.

(TYRES SQUEALING)

I'm going sideways
in a 500-horsepower
Alfa Romeo!

And that's a beautiful thing.

You can slide this car
anywhere you want.

(LAUGHING) Wow.

And just look what happens
when you get it onto
the straight.

Zero to 100 miles an hour
in 8.2 seconds.

And 190 miles an hour
flat out.

God, this thing is fast.

So, and I almost can't believe
I'm finally saying this,

Alfa's done it.

Built a super-saloon
to beat the very best.

It's like England
finally winning the World Cup,

-a day many had hoped for...
-Keep coming.

But in their
heart of hearts...

-Good.
-CHRIS: ...never believed

-could really happen.
-Slowly, slowly, slowly.

Rory, what are you doing?

Well, I couldn't help
but hear you saying...
Stop there!

That you could slide this car
anywhere you want.

And I thought
you might wanna prove it.

So you want me
to skid sideways
through that?

Exactly.

What's it made of?

RORY: It's, like a,
it's a frangible material.

What, so it's made of almonds?

No, I said frangible.

What does that mean?

-I don't actually know.
-(LAUGHS)

CHRIS: Right.
My comprehensive review

being a little highbrow
for some,

my childish colleague
would now have me
put the Alfa sideways

through a hole in a wall.

Okay, come on, Giulia.

We've made a boast,
I know you weren't involved,

but I've made a boast
to Mr Reid.

You've gotta help me out now.
Don't let me down.

And "frangible," it turns out,

has nothing to do
with almonds.

It means fragile.

Apparently.

This feels very, very wrong.

Rory, why are you
in an umpire's chair?

RORY: (OVER SPEAKER)
Please don't question
the umpire, Chris.

You're so childish.

Bring on the wall.

(CLICKS)

(ENGINE REVS)

-(TYRES SQUEALING)
-(ENGINE REVVING)

There is no way on Earth
he's gonna do this.

Everything in my brain
is saying,

"Don't drive
at the big grey wall."

-(THUDS)
-Ooh!

That wasn't good.

Big damage to the car.
Big damage to the car.

CHRIS: So, not that frangible.

I thought...
I thought you said
you could drift this anywhere?

You see the windscreen?

RORY: (SNICKERING)
That went really well.

CHRIS: God.

What do you...
What do you think
went wrong, mate?

What a mess.

Disaster.

I want to do it again.

Want to do it again?

Yeah, set it up.
I'm not... I'm not giving up.

(RORY LAUGHS)

CHRIS: Honestly, I was feeling
about as wounded
as the poor Giulia.

Oh, God.

I've gotta get this right.
I can do this. We can do this.

RORY:
So with the wall rebuilt,

Chris lined up
for another attempt.

Come on. Come on, Giulia.

Bring on the wall.

Already, stop saying that.

(ENGINE ROARING)

This is gonna go
so horribly wrong.

RORY: And this time,
he would try a slightly
different line.

No, that's not worked either.
(LAUGHS)

Yeah.

Mate, you went
through the wall.

Just not quite in the shape
of the Giulia.

Do you understand the concept
we're working towards here?

CHRIS: Set it up.
I'm not... I'm not giving up.

I think the car can do it.

Okay, Harris was
running out of time.

But somehow
still confident he could do it
before the day was out.

Bring on the wall!

CHRIS: Oh, shut up, Rory.

RORY: My tenacious colleague
set off to make it
third time lucky.

Drift the car
through the wall.

(TYRES SQUEALING)

Then again...

I accept, as Chris Harris,

that my statement
that I could drift it
through anything

was, on reflection, unwise.

(LAUGHING)

CHRIS: I want to do one more.

RORY: As much
as I wanna see him fail,

there's a small part of me
that wants him to succeed.

RORY:
And so, day became night.

And with supplies
of frangible wall
now critically low,

Chris settled himself
for one final attempt.

CHRIS: I just want
to get this done.
I want to succeed.

RORY: Oh, just one more thing.

RORY: Bring on the wall!

(CHRIS GROANS)

Here we go, then.

RORY: Come on, Chris. Come on.

Is this really gonna work?

I can't even see
what I'm doing here.

RORY: I think you can do this.
Come on.

(TYRES SQUEALING)

(LAUGHING ECSTATICALLY)

Yes!

(LAUGHING ECSTATICALLY)
Whoa, yeah!

Yes, baby!

(RORY YELLS)

Oh, my God.
I can't believe we did it.

I always knew you could do it.
I always knew you could do it.

(LAUGHING)

Oh, yes, celebratory doughnut!

-(ENGINE REVVING)
-(TYRES SQUEALING)

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

Nailed it!

Shame about the windscreen,
though.

Yeah, I know.
Look, no one felt worse

about damaging
the Alfa than me.

But look, I fixed it.
Look, I fixed it.

You did. Yeah, I see that.

I also see that you moved
the steering wheel

-to the other side of the car.
-(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)

-Ah, yeah, you noticed that.
-MATT: Yeah.

And, Rory, didn't you
just steal that wall idea

from that BMW ad
a few years ago?

You know that
that was all CGI
in that ad, right?

No.

-You could've killed Chris.
-(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)

You can't just jump
to the front of the queue
like that.

-(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
-CHRIS: Oi.

Hey, I'm kidding, all right?

Now it's time
to put the Giulia
around our test track.

And you know what that means.

-It's the Stig!
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

CHRIS: Here we go, then.

Off the line,
bit of launch control.

This is so powerful, this car.

Over 500 horsepower,
carbon fibre bodywork,

Stig getting very lively
into the first turn there.

The little straight
down to Chicago
really is...

Look, he's managing
the throttle there.
Oversteer everywhere.

Using the systems.
They'd have been on
in race mode here now.

Through Chicago,
bit of understeer,

gets on the gas,
neutralises it.

Look at the back end now.

Just wanting to swing around,

well-controlled
by our white-suited friend.

Into the braking zone,
into Hammerhead.

Again,
look at those brake motors

glowing red hot,
carbon ceramics.

Round Hammerhead again,

he starts with understeer,
then he neutralises it
with the gas.

It starts to suggest
oversteer.

Now,
the long straight back down
towards the Follow-Through.

That's quick through there.
Follow through.

Oh, clench those buttocks.
That was fast.

All the way down now
to second to last.

He'll do a big trail brake in.
Look at the front brake rotor
glowing.

There it is, look at that.
Red hot, even on a nice
sunny day.

Now through second to last.
Oh, oversteer, that's just
showboating.

-And Gambon.
-(TYRES SQUEALING)

And over the line.

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

So the fastest four-door
ever to lap our track,

I believe,
was the Mitsubishi Evo VIII

at a one minute 24.8.

So...

Er, we have a new
fastest saloon car.

'Cause the Alfa did it
in one minute 21.4.

-Nice, very nice.
-(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

CHRIS: Not only that.

Same day, same conditions,
we lapped the new M3.

And it was slower,
two-tenths slower.

So the Alfa
is officially faster
than an M3.

-That's great news for them.
-That is, uh...

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

CHRIS:
Well, that's significant.

That's the benchmark, right?

-Yeah.
-Wow. Wow.

MATT: There you have it.

Great stuff.

And the European exotica
doesn't end there.

Because we're
now a week closer

to me driving the new
Renault Twingo. Yeah!

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

Can't wait for that.

But now, it's time to welcome
this week's guest.

He stars in Broadchurch
and was once voted

the planet's
greenest celebrity.

-This should be interesting.
-(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)

Please welcome David Tennant!

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

-Hey, welcome, welcome.
-Thanks for doing this.

Have a seat.

All right.
David, thanks for joining us,

but, er...

Pleasure,
nice place you've got here.

Thanks. Thank you.
Now how did you become

the planet's
greenest celebrity?
Tell us about that.

-I have absolutely no idea.
-(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)

The only reason I can fathom
is that I drive a Prius.

That seems to be it.

But now, because I have
too many children,

we had to get, like,
a big old van as well,

so I now have a Mercedes Viano
to get everyone in the back.

And that's a big
diesel guzzling monster,

so I think
I've lost any prizes
that I ever won.

But you got rid of the Prius?

-We've still got
the Prius as well.
-Ugh.

What's wrong with a Prius?

(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)

Well, now look,
I'm on David's side.

Everyone is always
saying the Prius is
this horrible car,

it's disgusting to drive,

but I think it deserves
a little bit of respect, okay?

'Cause it represents
the biggest evolutionary step

in the history of the
automotive industry, okay?

-What? (LAUGHS)
-Listen to me.

Without the Prius,
we wouldn't have
the La Ferrari, the P1...

-Oh, come on.
-...or the Porsche 918.

It's time to show
the Prius respect.
Who likes the Prius?

(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)

Thank you.
Okay, great.

-Thank you.
-The silence is deafening.

The single greatest step
in automotive technology?

The disc brake. The seat belt.

Enough of that.
And in honour of the world's
greenest celebrity...

Thanks.

RORY: Okay,
former greenest celebrity.

-Yeah.
-We've filled the studio

with a selection
of sustainable stuff.
Take a look at this.

It's the Jaguar iPace.
Look at this thing.

It's an SUV,
and it's Jaguar's answer
to the Tesla Model X, okay?

It wasn't so long ago
that the Jag brand image

was a little bit Prescott,
shall we say?

But this thing is
more Silicon Valley.

-Forget the Prius,
David, okay.
-DAVID: Yeah.

RORY: This is
the electric family car
that you want.

-Are you gonna get me one?
Is that my prize?
-(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)

There's one problem
though, Rory, isn't there?
It's not real.

Of course it's real.
It's not...

Okay, it's not real yet,
but it will be ready

for production
by the end of the year

and it'll probably cost
around 60 grand.

Guaranteed hit.

Why are you so resistant
to the idea of electric cars?

-Well, I'm not
resistant to them.
-'Cause it's not about

putting a nozzle in a hole
and filling it up.

-(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
-RORY: All right, Matt,

I've got
something amazing for you.
Comes from Mercedes.

It's called
the Maybach G 650 Landaulet.

And here it is.
Check this thing out.

MATT: Ooh.
RORY: Nice, huh?

That is revolting.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)

It's not revolting,
it's decadent.

Right,
according to Mercedes...

-Decadent? For Lego.
-"It demonstrates..."

(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)

They say "It demonstrates

"that the definition
of unique luxury
can be taken to a new level".

-(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
-Yeah, they're not
wrong there, Rory.

RORY: Well, look, it's got
a massive V12 engine

and it's got
massive ground clearance,

it's got two thrones
in the back.

Look at that.
It's an off-roader

that's also a limo,
that's also a convertible.

What box is that not ticking?

Er, the one that reads,
"The buyer is of sound mind".

(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)

Yeah, I mean,
it looks like a Suzuki Vitara

slammed into
Mr T's jewellery box.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)

You're saying that
like it's a bad thing.

(LAUGHS)

Now, you've been around
our Top Gear track before.

-Back in the days of
the humble Lacetti.
-Yes. Yes.

But this time you've taken on

the fearsome fire-breathing
Toyota GT 86.

-Yeah.
-And you had some fun

training with Chris Harris.
What was he like?

I mean, to be fair...

(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)

Driving lessons, I think,
do bring out the worst
in people.

It's a strangely
stress-making time.

Didn't you once play
a driving instructor?

I did. Yes.

I assume
you researched that part?

So what did you learn
about your average
driving instructor?

I think it's quite
a miserable life.

I think they, you know,
they do a very difficult job

for relatively
low remuneration.

-So they're miserable.
-Yeah, miserable.

-That's like our guy here.
-Yeah.

Yeah. All right.
Let's see how you did
in the training.

-DAVID: Okay.
-Right, let's take a look.

-Erm, as a Dr Who fan...
-Yeah.

I'm looking for
a bit more Tom Baker
than Peter Davison here, okay?

Don't diss the Davison.

First gear, please.

-Okay.
-Go.

Third gear.
Third gear, third gear.

-Third gear.
-Brake, brake, brake,
brake, brake.

-(WHOOPS)
-Left, left, left, left.

We're gonna make it,
we're gonna make it.

-(LAUGHING)
-(EXCLAIMS)

Whoo!

Flat out, flat out, come on.

It's flat out!
What do you want?

-Second gear.
-Second gear?

-Second gear, yeah.
-Oh, now you tell me.

Just put your hands
on the wheel!

What are you doing?

-(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
-(TYRES SQUEAL)

-Through here, through here.
-Ooh, it's nippy!

-I don't like this at all.
-It's nippy!

CHRIS: Bit of...

Oh, that was nearly death.

(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

(TYRES SQUEALING)

-Having fun yet?
-Over there to the...

No. Over here.

Now, we've gotta
find our route

between the grass
and the white thing.

I'm just gonna close my eyes.

-(WHOOPING)
-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Okay. Right, over to
the right-hand side.

Good, good, good.

Brake at the hundred,
brake at the hundred.

-Brake hard, brake hard.
-Braking, braking.

-Braking sir, braking.
-Brake, brake, brake.

Brake or we're off,
brake or we're off.

We were so near...

Come on, that was wonderful,
wasn't it?

-Second gear, second gear.
-Oh, (BLEEP).

Second gear.
You're nearly killing me,
horrible person you.

Hoo-hoo!

God! Stop, stop.

Did you enjoy that?

I had a great time.

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

-MATT: How was it?
-Oh, loved it.

I think you have
gotta start being
nicer to the guests.

I'll try.
As long as they don't
scare me so much.

You've gotta chill out a bit.
I had a great time.

I'm sure you did.

He didn't look scared.

-No.
-He looked fine.

Why were you so scared?

Because it felt like
he was trying
to hurt me and the car.

Okay, now I would
like to tell you about

a new performance
hybrid from Japan.

The NSX.

No, no, no, no,
way better than the Honda NSX.

It's this.

-The Komatsu HB365LC-3.
-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Yeah, Matt, that's...
That's a digger.

(LAUGHS) No, no, no.
That is not a digger. Okay?

-It's a digger.
-That's a tracked
excavator, all right?

Diggers do this. Yeah?
Excavators do this.

And dozers do this.

Anyway, look,
this thing is awesome.

It's awesome.
36 tonnes, 340 horsepower,

it's got
a diesel-electric hybrid
for a power plant.

It is just...
(STUTTERING) It's fantastic.

You really, genuinely care
about this stuff, don't you?

Well, of course I do.
Yeah. Don't you?

I mean, come on, David.
Back me up.

You look like
a tracked excavator fan.

-Erm, I'm not entirely sure...
-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

-...what this is telling us...
-Excavator.

...about your fascinations,
Matt. (LAUGHS)

I could be a little grabby.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

All right. Another treat
for the world's greenest
celebrity.

It's a new
all-electric supercar.

It comes from Croatia
and it's called the Rimac.

It's in our studio. Okay?

Looks brilliant and it's fast.

221 miles an hour.

There's a motor
in each of the wheels,
so it's four-wheel drive.

It'll do
about 200 miles per charge,

and beat a Bugatti Veyron
in a drag race.

How cool is that?

What is this big fascination
you have with electric cars?

Did you, like,
lick batteries as a kid?

-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
-What is the deal? Did you?

The little nine-volt ones,
yeah.

Yeah, there's a little tingle.

Get a little tingle.
I like it.

Yeah, you're not
supposed to do that.

-No?
-No.

-You're not supposed to do...
-That explains a lot.

Didn't your mother tell you?
It does.

Have you noticed, Rory?
Every week

there's a new electric
super hyper car

and one that promises
it will beat

a Bugatti Veyron
in a straight line.

Happens every week.

RORY: It's because
they can beat Veyrons.

That's the whole point
of electric cars.

And what did you say
it was called again?

Rimac.

Rimac.

Sounds like something
you use to remove hair.

(CHUCKLES)

From where?

-From your rim,
I don't know. Right?
-(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)

Doesn't it sound like that?

I think it's time
to move on at that point.

Okay, fair enough.

Come on, Chris.

Now, your classic
convertible supercar.

Theatrical, flamboyant,

and according
to our producers,
pointless.

Great for the two days
of the summer

when it's warm and dry,

utterly useless for
the rest of the icy,
wet, cold year.

And we said,
"Get with the times".

Yes, roofless supercars
were once like that,

but the modern breed,
you can really use them
all year round.

So the producers said,
"Prove it".

Matt and I were
each told to pick

a four-wheel drive
convertible supercar

and to report
bright and early,
Monday morning,

for a series of tests
in Las Vegas.

(WATER BUBBLING)

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

(SNORING)

(KNOCKING CONTINUES)

(POUNDING ON DOOR)

All right, all right,
I'm coming.

Ooh, that's... That wasn't me.

(TIGER GROWLING)

Hey! Ooh, breakfast. Nice.

Oh, not breakfast.

Hey... Can I order breakfast?

No? Okay.

"Welcome to the four-seasons
supercar challenge.

"You will now drive
from Las Vegas

"to the snowy
Sierra Nevada mountains,

"encountering spring,
summer, autumn,
and winter on your way.

"PS, you are late,
get a move on". Ooh.

Harris!
Come on, get up! We gotta go!

MATT: Our four-season cars
were waiting downstairs.

And my ace car?

The Lamborghini
Huracan Spyder.

5.2-litre V10, 610 horsepower.

All lurking under a body
of pure Italian flamboyance.

CHRIS: I put my chips
on the Porsche 911 Turbo S.

It might only have
a 3.8-litre flat six,

but trust me,
in the real world,

this is the fastest car
you can buy.

MATT:
Ooh, ooh, hang on, hang on.

This is a supercar challenge.

Did you not hear the rules?

Bring a supercar.

Nought to 60
in under three seconds.

Top speed over
200 miles an hour.

What's not super about that?

Yeah, but it's a 911.

It's got rear seats.

It's a sports car.
Now, don't...
Don't get me wrong.

I love 911s, it's a super car.

But it's not a supercar.

Er, coming from the man
that's chosen the lifestyle
Lamborghini?

What do you mean, "lifestyle",
what does that mean?

In other words,
that's the car

for the driver
that doesn't like driving.

It's all about image.

No. No, no, no, no, no.

Look at it.

They said
don't bring a blue car
and don't wear a blue shirt,

so let's, er,
let's go drive 'em.

Cheater.

CHRIS:
What do you mean, cheater?
It's a supercar.

It's not a supercar, Chris.

CHRIS: Well, this wasn't
going to be settled
in the car park.

(ENGINE REVVING)

Time to hit the road.

(CHRIS LAUGHING)

Yeah.

Now, I chose this car
because this is a proper
supercar.

It's low, it's pointy,
it's noisy, it's impractical.

But that's what you want
in a supercar.

You want that
over-the-top styling.

You want that larger-than-life
superhero feel.

CHRIS:
Inside that Lamborghini,

Matthew will be
giving a detailed,

impassioned explanation
as to why he's driving
a supercar.

I don't need to
bother with that.

I can just tell you
the following.

This is faster to 60,
it uses less fuel,

it's bigger,
it's more practical,

it costs less money,
it's all round better.

And best of all,

I don't look like a part-time
pornographer when I drive it.

(ENGINE REVVING)

MATT: Out of the city limits,
we began our epic journey.

From the intense heat
of California's
vast desert plains

to the brutal
sub-zero snow and ice

of the Sierra Nevada
mountains.

Four seasons, 400 miles.

And for this challenge,

the Lamborghini
really is in a class
of its own.

The Huracan is the last
of the naturally aspirated
supercars.

The McLaren 650S,
turbocharged.

The Ferrari 488, turbocharged.

The 911 Turbo, erm...

Turbocharged.

This is a dying breed.

CHRIS: And that's
because these days,
turbo is the way to go.

The 911 has a higher top speed
than the Lambo,

and, according to Porsche,

it's 2.8-second naught to 60

is half a second quicker, too.

But the best bit...

Every time you actually do it,
it's faster.

I've done it
in 2.6 in this car.

It's outrageous!

(ENGINES ROARING)

(ENGINE REVVING)

Sounds so nice.

Supercars are about presence.

They're about that image,
that...

That feeling, you know?

They're about posters
on a bedroom wall.

And the 911
just doesn't give you that.

CHRIS: The Lamborghini
Huracan Spyder.

Like walking
into a room and shouting,
"Hello, I'm here!"

MATT: We were told
to report to a local racetrack

for our first
four-seasons challenge.

But before we got going,

we went out for
a few sighting laps

to really get
to know our cars.

(CHUCKLES)
Would've been rude not to.

(TYRES SQUEALING)

It cheats physics, this thing.

It shouldn't be able
to do what it does.

'Cause the engine's
in the wrong place,

so it should
understeer horribly,

but it doesn't.
It's got mega traction.

The engine is an animal.

It just pulls
and pulls and pulls
from no revs whatsoever.

Oh, it's just a fantastic
motor vehicle.

Harris calls this
the lifestyle Lambo.

It's not a bad lifestyle,
if you ask me.

It does understeer
a little bit.

But that's okay.

Let's you find the limit
without crashing.

And this car
is all about the drive train.

The double clutch gearbox
is super-fast.

But the motor
is just fantastic.

That's a bit faster
in a straight line
than I expected, Matthew.

MATT: Soon though,
we were told to pull over.

It was time for our challenge.

"Welcome to Spring
Mountain Raceway".

-See what they did there?
-I do, yeah.

-Four seasons.
-Four seasons, yeah.

Very sharp, very clever.
Clever!

Erm, "Spring is a season
of unpredictable weather".

Uh-huh, yeah. I can tell.

It looks like
it's gonna rain any minute.

CHRIS: Mmm.

"When a fast
action roof is essential,
time for a one-lap race.

"You must start
with your roof down
and finish with your roof up.

"First across the line wins".

Okay.

MATT: Two supercars.

Well, one supercar.

One lap of the track.

First one past
the chequered flag
with their roof up wins.

(ENGINE REVVING)

Okay, thrust mode possible.
I'm ready.

You ready? I'm ready.

This car is violent
off the line.

(REVS ENGINE)

I'm gonna get my roof down
toward the end of the race.

I bet that's what he'll do.

Okay, here we go.

Three, two, one, go!

CHRIS: There he goes.

Whoo!

She comes out
of the hole good.

CHRIS: An impressive start,
but I had a different plan.

Launch control, go.

Ah, that's outrageous.

So I'm done.
I don't have to worry
about this any more.

Oh, okay, he's got
a different strategy.

He's putting his top up, then.

MATT:
The Lamborghini roof goes up
in 17 seconds.

Annoyingly, Harris' Porsche
does it in just 13.

All right, so I gotta get
a little bit of an advantage
here,

because he's got
a four-second quicker
roof mechanism.

MATT: But just as I was
building my lead...

Spring sprung.

Oh, what is that?

Ah!

CHRIS: I can see him.

Roof down, peacocking around.

Oh, there he is.

Come on, Lambo.

Right, they've wet the track.

Whoa, that's so slippery!

There he is.

He's still gotta put
his roof up.

(LAUGHING)

And to do that,
Matt had to slow down
to a steady 31.

Come on, baby.
Where is it, where is it?

CHRIS: Not so super now.

MATT: Oh!

-(LAUGHS)
-Hello, sweetheart.

-Yes!
-Ah, he got me.

CHRIS:
So what do we think, then?

Does you being beaten
make me a supercar?

Or am I not a supercar?

Well, this is a test
of practicality.

So your sports car
has a very practical

four-second quicker
roof mechanism.

A supercar,
which this is and that is not,

is not supposed
to be practical at all,
which this isn't.

At all.

CHRIS: This was
going to be a long trip.

And as we moved on
to the next challenge...

MATT: Fantastic out here.
This is America, baby.

Cowboy country.

It is absolutely stunning.

Even the incredible scenery
was bringing out
our competitive streak.

Big.

Big and vertiginous.

Now there's a word.

MATT: (ON RADIO) Yes.

You are quite
the sesquipedalian.

(MATT LAUGHS)

MATT:
One hour later, we arrived

at our next
challenge location.

And the signs
didn't look good.

Death Valley is one of
the hottest places
on Earth.

And before
we went any further,

Harris insisted
on taking supplies.

CHRIS: I'm taking no chances
with this Death Valley thing.

I've got water,
snacks, a shovel,

and spare radio batteries,
should they run out.

MATT: Uh-huh. Mmm.

Well, for me, to survive this
potentially deadly crossing,

I'm teaming a cinnamon latte

with a poppy seed
blueberry muffin.

(SNIFFS) Oh, smells so nice.

It's just embarrassing.

You sure
you don't want a muffin?

I don't need a muffin.

I need water and practicality.

What are you gonna
do with that shovel?

-Hey.
-(HORSE NICKERS)

Thank you.

Happy trails.

-I'll take that.
-That's a cowboy.

"Welcome to summer,
the holiday season.

"Time to take a vacation
from your car.

"You will now
switch vehicles".

-Did you organise this?
-No.

"Then drive across
Death Valley".

It's a stitch-up, isn't it?

-Okay, yeah.
-I'll take the muffin.

Well, thanks,
I'll keep the muffin.

Thanks for stocking up
my car with goodies.

Hey, Chris.

Yes.

These chips
that you've bought,

they are delicious.
Thank you.

Leave those alone.

MATT:
Tasty snacks aside though,

life in Harris' Porsche
was definitely not as special.

Quite a bit different
than the Lambo.

It's...
Feels really, a lot taller.

Feels definitely
more practical.

CHRIS: What's it like
being in the peacock?

The engine is a masterpiece.

8,500 RPM

with a lovely step
at about 4,500.

Buffeting, not very good.

I'm a very, very short man.

As my co-host is very keen
to point out.

And I'm pretty much
in the air flow here.

If you were the size
of a normal human being,

this wouldn't work.

Now, come on.

Tell me the truth.

You like that car.

I mean, the sense of theatre,

if you wanted to feel

that you'd bought
something special
with your money,

I have to say,
it's more special
than the Porsche.

But it's just lacking
any kind of sense.

But that's the whole point.

It's not supposed
to make sense.

It's a supercar.

CHRIS: Here we go again.

Summer was getting us nowhere,

so for the rest
of the challenge,

we agreed to just enjoy
the cars and the view.

Look at this. This is special.

MATT: That is some
epic scenery right there.

CHRIS: And reaching
the foot of the Sierra Nevada,

it was time to deliver
our verdicts.

MATT: So?

-What'd you think? Huh?
-Well, I think...

This is your last
bottle of water,
by the way.

What?

Look, if you're
a dental hygienist
from Florida,

or you keep a Chihuahua,

or you take selfies,
I think it's a great car.

-Great, Matt.
-Okay.

What about my car?
Come on, tell me about my car.

Well, that is a nice car.

I mean, if you are
in the market for a supercar

that is
the most bland supercar
you can find, that is it.

I'm telling you,
that is a bland supercar.

That's a meaningful
50-year marriage.

That's a one night stand.

CHRIS: We called summer
a no-score draw.

And after a long day,

the producers had kindly
laid on accommodation
in a quaint local village.

MATT: Wow, look at this place.

(CHRIS HUMMING WESTERN THEME)

Have you ever had the feeling
you were being watched?

MATT: To help us blend in,
I had a plan.

Okay, follow my lead.

CHRIS:
Oh, yeah, that should do it.

Erecting the roof
will cover all bases
in this situation.

Just put your roof up.

I just erected
four seconds faster than you.

MATT: (OVER RADIO)
Stop saying "erect".

This is the last place
you wanna get caught
with an erection.

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

Okay, now, what
you need to know
about that film

is that when I got
my Lambo back from Harris,

it was disgusting, okay?

Crumbs on the seats,
chocolate on the wheel.

I'm pretty sure you got hummus
on the rev needle.

I don't even know
how you did that, okay?

You, my friend, are a pig.

I'd rather be fast than clean.

But you know
you can be both, right?

I think it says something
about the kind of person
you are.

Work with me.
Are you a car slob like me?

Personally I'm not,
but I have four kids,

so my car is just a...

Has a thin layer of raisins
and snot at all times.

It's sort of impossible
to manage with anything else.

But you yourself,
you're quite clean
within the car.

I would like to be,
but I've given up.

Until my children reach,
you know, 46,

I'm just gonna accept that
that's how we're gonna live.

Well, I can be
quite dirty as well,
in the car,

but unlike you,
I keep the outside
of the car pristine.

You have a different attitude
towards that, I gather.

Well, I just think, you know,

especially
driving round in London,

the odd scrape,
the odd scratch,

anything that doesn't
disable the vehicle...

(CHUCKLING)

I don't think
is worth worrying about.

What constitutes
a scrape or a scratch?

Well, there's a...

There's certainly a panel
that if you drive too fast,

flaps out of the back.

But you can kick it back in
and it does for about a week
each time.

Are you the kind of person
that when you parallel park,

you kind of nudge
the car in front a little,

and then nudge the car
in the back a little,

-are you one of those guys?
-No, no, no, I don't nudge.

I'm very beady
about other people's cars.

But if you're
in a multi-storey

and there's a lit...
You know...

You rub against a wall
to sneak into that
little tight space,

what's the harm?

-It's a bit of paint.
-There's a voice
inside him now

that's crying and screaming
about this.

-He simply can't...
-I can't take it,
I can't take it.

The thought
of damaging something.

All right, moving on,
now you are back
on our screens

with a new series
of Broadchurch.

The final. This is it.

I think we should do three

and then leave them
wanting more, you know.

It's a small town.

If there was a revolving door
of horrendous crimes
happening,

it would start to get
a bit preposterous.

So I think, you know...

And the writers,
I hear they're super,

super secretive
about the storylines,
is that true?

Yeah, it's always
been the way.

Anything that's a thriller

that has elements of plot
that you wanna hold back,

I think everyone gets it,
particularly in this
modern era,

the idea that someone
could misplace an email.

Although,
the Kremlin could hack
into your account, you know.

But it means being on the show
gets really tiresome

because everything
gets sent out
with a password.

One script has one password,

another script
has a different password,

and then the script amendments
that come through
the night before.

And they're not
passwords you choose,
they give you a password,

and that's
on a different email

that has a different password

that you have to remember
from last week

when they sent out the...
And I just can't keep up.

It's just impossible.

So if you don't
know your lines,

you could just say
I didn't get the email,

-I didn't get the password.
Beautiful.
-Exactly.

I end up being a terrible,
grumpy old man about it

and phoning up,
"Oh, just send me some paper.

"I can't deal with this".

All right, are we ready?

-Because the time has come.
-Is this it?

-To see how you did...
-Okay.

...around the track,
on your own in the GT 86.

Yeah, I'm very optimistic.
I fear crushing
disappointment.

Before we do,
there's something
we need to discuss, I think.

Yeah.

After I left you,
at the end of our
coaching session...

Yeah.

Erm, you agreed
you'd then go off
and do your timed lap.

Yeah.

But between those two events,

I gather you went for
a bit of extra training
on your own.

A bit of a sneaky,
extra training lap?

Well...

CHRIS: What happened?

(STAMMERS) I kind of think
you've gotta go for it,

you've gotta learn
what the car can take.

You've gotta push
your boundaries.

And sometimes,
you slightly overstep
your boundaries.

Can we see the image, please?

-MATT: Oh, no.
-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Anything that doesn't disable
the vehicle...

Doesn't count as an accident.

We've only had that car
two weeks.

And now it's got character.

But what did you hit?
There is nothing out there.

It was one of those
sort of foam signs

that tell you
when to turn left.

(LAUGHS)

Oh, now I can talk
to you about foam

that damages cars,
it really can.

I can sympathise there,
I can sympathise there.

-Yeah, you see, you see.
-Yeah. Okay,
but you did manage

to record a timed lap, yeah?

Yeah, oh, yeah, this was...
That was in training.

Okay, well,
let's take a look at that.

Let's have a look.

CHRIS:
Here we go, off the line.

DAVID: Oh, poor!

-CHRIS: Average at best.
-(DAVID GROANS)

CHRIS:
Look at the massive dent.

Come on, come on, go.
That's it, that's it.

CHRIS:
Oh, you look very serious.

We're flying, we're flying.

CHRIS: A really good view
of the damaged quarter panel,
again.

DAVID: Lovely, isn't it?
Looking good.

CHRIS: The line's not too bad.

We're on fire!

CHRIS: Okay,
braking hard into Chicago.
Braked a bit early, I think.

What's it like through here?

Bit of understeer
and then a massive clog
of throttle

which triggered the ESP
and slowed you down.

Oh, shut up.

And the trick is to use
the whole circuit,

not half the circuit, okay.

Over to the right-hand side.
Here are your braking boards.

Oh, look,
there's one you didn't hit.

Right. Now, go left,
right round Hammerhead.

Let's see your line
through Hammerhead.

Oh, again triggered the ESP.

Oh, yes!

CHRIS: Here we go.

Come on! Go faster!

(TYRES SQUEALING)

Nice. Nice.

CHRIS: And now flat out
through the Follow-through.

Whoo-hoo!

CHRIS:
If you hadn't had ESP there,
you would have died.

DAVID: Well, I did. It's fine.

CHRIS: Braking hard,
braking hard into
the second to last.

Very good line through there.

Oh, we did it,
we did it, we did it.

Second gear, come on.

CHRIS: Through Gambon...

And over the line.

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

MATT: All right!
That was pretty good.

-Yeah!
-How do you feel?
What do you think?

I feel pretty good.

I think you did all right.

-Thank you.
-I do.

I was quietly confident
until I heard your barrage
of criticism.

Well, no, I was just...

You set yourself
high standards,

I want to help you
to get there.

And I'm just glad
that you didn't apply
any more damage to our car.

-One little dent.
-MATT: What do you think?

How do you think you did?

I think that was quite quick.

I think it was daring
in places.

He scrubbed off some speed,
but I'm confident.

-I think he's done me proud.
-Okay.

Well, the best time
on our board is still
Max Whitlock,

the Olympic Gold Medallist,
with 1:39.5.

You ever see his flick-flacks?

So graceful,
the extension that guy...
Anyway.

Yeah, you haven't
seen my flick-flacks.

MATT: I've got
the time right here.

David Tennant,

-you did it in one minute...
-DAVID: Yeah.

...forty-four flat.

Come on!

-(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
-Huh?

CHRIS:
Well done, really well done.

Second place. I'll take that.

-I'll take that. Yeah.
-MATT: They love you.

DAVID: Yeah.
Yeah, that's okay.

So I think
that's congratulations
to both of you,

with a little help from him.

I couldn't have done it
without my teacher.

I think you'd have been first
without Chris.

(LAUGHS)

No, I'm kidding.

(STUTTERS) Yeah,
I'll take second place.
That's all right.

That's good, that's good.

MATT:
I think that's really good.

-Ladies and gentlemen,
David Tennant.
-Thank you!

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

-Thank you so much.
-MATT: Fantastic.

-Thank you for everything.
-Thank you.

Now, earlier on, Matt and I
had finished the first day

of our big convertible
supercar trip

in the charming
town of Darwin.

And because what happens
in Darwin stays in Darwin...

Really, that's their motto.

We pick up the story
the following morning.

MATT: We got up early
as it was time to leave

California's desert plains...

Oh, I think
we might be about to enter

into a bit of twisty,
windy road, Mr Harris.

And start our climb into
the Sierra Nevada mountains.

There is no guardrail.

Look at that, that's
a sheer face right there.

For you to go off there,
that's bad.

CHRIS: We wondered
what our next challenge
might be.

Ooh, Smokey the Bear up ahead.
Smokey the Bear up ahead.

CHRIS: And with no idea
what Matt was on about,

we came across a policeman

waiting with the answer.

MATT: Hello, Officer.

Oh, well, thank you.

"Welcome to fall.

"A season of
tricky road conditions.

"You and your cars
will now fall down

"this slippery mountain road
under the power
of gravity alone.

"No touching the accelerator.

"Quickest to the bottom wins".

That sounds like
a completely relevant
real-world test.

MATT: This will be fun.

I do this with my buddies
on the motorcycles.

Neutral all the way down
the mountain.

But I gotta say,
it doesn't feel like fall.

(WIND HOWLING)

Ah, there we go. Does now.

Very funny.

Anyway,
it's not fall, it's autumn.

No, it's fall.

English car show, autumn.

We're in America,
so it's fall.

We invented the language.
It's autumn.

It's fall. We're not gonna
"autumn" down the hill.

That's just a bad pun.

Look, whoever wins
the challenge gets to name
the season, deal?

Deal. That's fair enough.
Yeah, deal. Fall.

MATT: We would now take turns

freewheeling our cars
to the bottom of the mountain

1,000 feet below.

With the quickest
down the winner,

it was time
to let the blue bull run free.

Three, two, one.

Okay. Here we go, come on.

Seven, eight, nine, ten,
11, 12, 13, 14, 15.

Okay, stay off the brake.

Stay off the brake.

Piece of cake.

Let it run. Let it run.

MATT: But as this
one and a half-tonne,

200 grand rock
gathered momentum...

Oh, this is weird.

Such a weird feeling.

This was becoming
a test of not only skill...

Ooh, this is a tight one,
here's a tight one.

But bravery.

Oh, I gotta brake,
I gotta brake.

(BRAKES SCREECHING)

Ah, scrubbed too much speed
right there.

Come on, don't be a chicken.
Stay off the brake.

Although,
the further I went...

Come on.

The easier it became.

Be brave, be brave.

All right,
here comes the hairpin.

Set up way out here.

-Brake.
-(BRAKES SCREECHING)

Do not go off the cliff.

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

Jesus.

Right, whoo.

MATT:
And with the little blue bull
really starting to run...

Whoo!

(LAUGHING)

Nearing the bottom,
we were flying.

Seventy-six, 78, 79,
80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86...

Across the line.

Whoo.

Felt fast.

But Harris' Porsche
was heavier
and potentially quicker.

Three, two, one.

Come on.

CHRIS:
Okay, it's fair to say...

Eight, nine, ten.

This isn't
the sort of challenge
I'm used to.

Oh, this is bloody awful.

So, if you're speeding
with the car in neutral,

is it still speeding
on the road?

-Can you get
a ticket for that?
-You're still speeding.

-Just curious. Okay.
-(LAUGHING)

CHRIS: And I admit,

I did find the whole
lack of engine thing
a bit tricky.

-(BRAKES SCREECHING)
-Oh, I shouldn't have braked!

Oh, I've really wiped
a load of speed off there.

Come on, here we go.
Here we go.

Oh, I don't know
what's round the corner.
(LAUGHING)

I keep wanting to brake!

Oh, ho-ho! Now I'm nervous.

Seventy four, 75...

Yeah. (LAUGHING)

Could I have gone quicker?
Yes.

Would I want to? No.

-Okay, so you did it...
-Yeah.

In two minutes and 46 seconds.

-Sounds reasonable.
-That's pretty good.

-And I did it...
-Yeah?

In two minutes
and three seconds.

That's a typo.

How can you be
43 seconds quicker?

That is, er...

You're a third quicker,
basically, than me.

-Yeah, I...
-One-third.

-Yeah...
-Sorry, let me just look...

Is there a parachute
behind my...

I dunno, let me see that.

'Cause the way
this is written,

it sounds like
I just kicked your ass here.

(LAUGHING RAUCOUSLY)

CHRIS:
Stupid challenge anyway.

MATT:
Now, as the winner of fall...

Forty-three seconds.

I had made it one a piece
with just one challenge
remaining.

And as we climbed higher
into the mountains...

Everything's getting whiter.

And this is
slightly concerning.

MATT:
Winter was definitely coming.

And arriving
at Mammoth Mountain,

our four seasons decider

looked like
it'd be the toughest
challenge of them all.

Wow.

So this is winter.

Er, when does heavy snowfall
become a blizzard?

I dunno, but this feels
pretty blizzard-y.

Ooh!

Ooh, look, something in there.
What is that?

CHRIS: "Time for your
final challenge, winter.

"A season of ice and snow.

"You claimed your supercars
could handle any weather.

"You will now prove it
by racing across
Mammoth Mountain".

We have to race
across Mammoth Mountain?

That's a big mountain.

Now look here,
after the last challenge,

I fully intend
to win this one.

Okay. Well, good luck to you.

MATT: Mammoth Mountain
sits at the heart of the
Sierra Nevada range.

To cross it,

our challenge would start
over 9,000 feet up

at the top
of an icy ski slope.

Plunging to the bottom,

a two-mile drive
through deep drift snow

would bring us
to the final stage.

A climb through dense forest

and a race to the finish
on the other side
of the mountain.

It's one-all.
This is the decider.
Winner takes all.

MATT: All-wheel drive,
600 horsepower,

200,000-pound car.

What could possibly go wrong?

Three, two, one, go!

Yes, baby.

Oh, he got the jump on me.

I can't see (BLEEP).

CHRIS: Argh, I'm doing
about 80 in a snow drift.

So I've gotta get
to the other side
of the mountain,

where apparently,
it's not snowing.

You know, when manufacturers
talk about zero to 60 times,

they assume
you're gonna be on a road.

But if you're on say,
oh, I don't know, a ski slope,

those times may vary slightly.

Consumer advice right there.

MATT:
Harris' all-weather Porsche
had started well.

But then...

CHRIS: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Oh, I'm stuck.

There's a pass.

There's the pass.

That is immature.

Is this a blue run? It is now.

(LAUGHING)

-(TOW TRUCK BEEPING)
-MATT: To stay in the race,

Harris had been forced
to call in some backup.

And on the other
side of the mountain,
the weather had cleared,

and I was ploughing ahead.

Yeah, Lambo.
Come on, baby, come on.

CHRIS: But I was now
out of the deep stuff
and gaining fast.

MATT:
Going into the second stage,
it was uphill all the way...

Flat pinned in third gear
going up a ski slope.

MATT: And the low-riding Lambo
started to struggle.

Oh, I'm stuck, I'm stuck.

Supercar coming through.

Yeah. (LAUGHING)

Oh, I was going so good.

CHRIS:
Pushing to open up a lead...

Whoa!

Keeping the hammer down
was becoming more
and more treacherous.

This is a rally stage.

-(TYRES SKIDDING)
-Whoa!

MATT: Now, since Chris
had already bent the rules,

it seemed only fair
to break out my secret weapon.

All right. Back in the game.

At least I have
a fighting chance.

(LAUGHING) Whoa!

And with the snow chains on,
I soon had the Porsche
in my sights.

Whoo-hoo!
You ain't getting
away now, Harris.

I got your number.

There he is!

Come on, Porsche!

MATT: At the final stage,
we were neck and neck.

But with no way past...

Here we go, here we go.

To stand
any chance of winning,

I decided to take
a different line
through the forest

in a sprint to the finish.

Harris wants this one bad.

That 43 seconds,
that's driving him crazy,
I can tell.

Where is he? Come on, Porsche.

CHRIS: Two truly
incredible supercars,

but only one winner.

Yes, yes, yes, yes!

I won! (LAUGHS)

Oh, there's Harris.

(MATT LAUGHING)

Oh, you got me.

You got me.

Congratulations.
How fun was that?

-Amazing.
-Huh?

We just drove all the way up
a mountain in two supercars.

Two su...

Well, in one supercar
and one super car.

I mean, super competent.

It's a supercar.

-It's a great car.
-Come on.

We can go round and round
on this, I'm not gonna stop.

'Cause you know it's not.

It is a super car,
but it's not a supercar.

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

Now, was that great?

How great was that?

(SCOFFS) That was mega.

So jealous. So jealous.

You drove up a ski slope.

Yeah, yeah.

It's ridiculous that these
cars managed to do that.

I knew they were good.
I didn't know they were
that good.

Yeah, neither did I.
That was so much fun.

That might be the most fun
I have ever had in a car.

And you know
how Lamborghini's building

that new
four-wheel drive thing?

Yeah, the Urus.

Yeah, yeah,
well, they don't need
to build an off-roader,

'cause they have
a great one right here.

All right, Chris, we know
if you had to pick one,

you'd take the Porsche, right?

It's motoring perfection.
It does everything.

Okay.

Matt, hand-on-heart time,
between the three of us,

if you had to go
for the Porsche

or the Huracan,
what's it gonna be?

Oh, well, the Huracan,

it's so theatrical and it has
a spectacular motor.

It is just... The Porsche
for me too, I think.

(LAUGHTER)

Yeah, I would, I would say,
it just, it does everything.

And you can...
It has back seats.

I can put the kids in it.
You can do whatever
you want with it.

-It is an all-season supercar.
-Yes!

Okay? Supercar.

-Yes. Yes.
-Happy?

All right, on next week's show
the Aston Martin DB11.

And motorsport,
Caribbean style.

No, no, no,
that's Caribbean stylie.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

-See you then.
-Good night!

Good night!