Top Gear (2002–…): Season 2, Episode 1 - Nissan Sunny vs. Jet Engine - full transcript

On tonight's Top Gear, Richard
Hammond in a V8 tumble dryer. Ow!

The classiest way
to bankrupt yourself. Wow!

And we turn up the heat
on the world's dullest car.

Hello, and may I say how nice it is
to be back,

especially as 2003 is likely
to be a vintage year for cars.

Honestly, you will not believe
the list of what's coming.

And it's not all big, expensive,
tyre-shredding stuff either.

There's a trend
towards small, affordable, fun cars,

stuff that looks good
in a traffic jam.

Take this
Volkswagen Beetle Cabriolet.

It's not the fastest car in
the world, or even in this studio,



and the roof folding arrangement
is a bit... unfortunate.

But it has four seats,
costs £15,000, and look at it!

And then there's the Ford Streetka.

This has a top speed of 12.5 miles
an hour.

But that's OK,
because it only costs 12.5p.

The most intriguing car, though,
is that.

It's the Smart Roadster.

Now, some cars are rock'n'roll.
Some cars are the 1812 Overture.

This... is a pop video.

MUSIC: "CANTALOOP" by US3

In the trendiest parts
of the trendiest postcodes

of the trendiest city in Britain,
this car looks sensational.

And because it's only £13,500,
no-one thinks you're a rich git.

It's the kind of car that makes
people go, "Ah!", rather than "Ugh!"



But for fashion accessories to work,

they need a real-world application.

A pretty watch
still has to work in space.

A Range Rover has to work on an alp,
even in Kettering.

A training shoe has to work in
a gym, even if you never get there.

It's no good the Smart
being all rinky-dinky in Camden.

If it's to have any street cred,

it has to work out here.

It's got to be a proper sports car.

So is it?

MUSIC: "Sexy Boy" by Air

On paper, things don't look great.

It may make
all the right growly noises,

but it's powered
by a three-cylinder, 600cc engine.

My Moulinex Magimix
has a bigger motor!

Sure, the Smart has a turbocharger,
but only get 80bhp.

So this then, is not a fast car.

In fact, it has exactly
the same top speed as Henry VIII.

In terms of acceleration,
you go from 0-60, but only just.

I tried timing it,
but after 11 seconds, I got bored.

There's the six-speed sequential
Formula 1-style gearbox too,

which operates like one of those
new-fangled digital cameras,

where you push the button,
and ten seconds later, just as your
subject moves, it takes the picture.

Ready, foot down...

and here we go.

Useless!

It rather looks, then,

Iike the Smart Roadster misses
the sports car mark by 100 miles.

However, have a look at this.

Push a button...

and the middle part of the roof
slides back into a little cubbyhole

in the engine compartment.

And then I simply take these out,

and we've got a full convertible.

However, the weather today
is a bit too British,

so if you don't mind, I'll just...

I'll just pop it back.

See ya.

There's more good stuff too.
This car may not be fast,

but it feels more alive than any
million-horsepower heavyweight BMW.

I wanted to hate it.

I wanted to laugh at its
performance and call it a wet fraud,

but it's so responsive
and such a giggle

that it puts a smile on your face!

It's fantastic!

Ha-ha!

I like the styling, the interior,
the traction control, the CD player.

I like how these dials
sprout out of the dashboard.

And I love the space.
I'm not small, but look at that!
Four inches of headroom there.

Ooh, and there's something else.

Remember who it is
that makes Smarts?

You can buy one of these things

and say you drive a mid-engined,
rear wheel drive, turbocharged
convertible Mercedes Benz.

Mercedes own Smart. They make them
in France, but this is a Mercedes.

There's more! It's cheap to insure,
does 40 miles to the gallon,
and it costs almost nothing

to replace those plastic
body panels if you crash.

Not that it goes fast enough
to have a crash.

So, it works.

It's a fashion accessory,
a piece of automotive jewellery,

and it's like those whizzing sports
cars from the '50s,
Austin Healeys and so on.

It's a proper, undiluted,
sports car.

l would'nt buy one. I'm going
to outline a few problems.

We'll start with the boot.

There isn't one! It's under here.
No point looking. That's your lot.

It's a baking tray above the engine.

It's OK if you've got a handful
of roast potatoes to carry around,

but otherwise, useless.

However, look at this.

This is the Smart Roadster Coupe.

Same engine, same roof arrangement,
same everything,

but if we open the back...

Ah! Enough space
for a whole sackful of King Edwards!

There you go. I wouldn't buy this
either. Because?

I'll tell you why, OK?

You can buy one of these
with left-hand drive in Britain

for less than £10,000.

It's not as powerful
as the British ones,

but why are we paying
half as much again to have
the steering wheel on our side?

I love the car, but I won't
be ripped off by Germans.

It's made in France!
Yeah, Vichy France!

The thing for me is that gearbox.
It's just hopeless.

The moment builds up, the revs rise,

you hit the lever,
and it pauses with you and waits.

Nothing happens for so long.

It's a gearbox.
It has one job to do.

Pull the lever, and...
"Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower?

"I'm a gearbox! Oh, heavens,
I must swap some cogs around!"

It takes forever. The problem is,
you'll be using it a lot,

because of that buzzy 600cc engine.
I was wrong. Ah. Admission time.

It's actually a 700cc engine,
which is different.

It's 0.7 of a litre.

That still has Hugh Grant
as a gearbox.

It's a pity. We like the Smart,
but we think not.

That gives us another problem.

Because, you see, you can't have
the Volkswagen Beetle either.

And let me explain why.

With most convertibles,
the windscreen is sort of here.

But this is like a convertible
people-carrier! You could play
football on that dashboard!

You need binoculars to see
if the wipers work!

That leaves us with the Ford
Streetka. It is a very good car.

It does everything it sets out
to do.

But you cannot possibly drive
this car if you're a man.

Seriously! Look, there's a man
in the car,

and he is clearly wearing a dress!
Is he not?

Would any men here think
of buying this car? Precisely. No?

This being the Top Gear audience,
you're all car enthusiasts,

so you haven't got wives or
girlfriends. What about the girls?

Hands up, girls who would like
this car.

Are there any girls who wouldn't?

You? Well, put your hand up, then!
It's not difficult!

Brothers and sisters,
they're all related!

I was talking the other day
to a guy from Ford.

Don't know who he was. Wore a suit.

Anyway, he said 80% of these
are going to be sold to women.

Who's going to buy the other 20%?
LAUGHTER

So, what if a bloke wants to buy
a two-seater, open-top sports car?

He does what he's done for the last
14 years, and buys a Mazda MX-5.

Where do these go on the Cool wall?

This is nothing to do with dodgy
gearboxes or value for money,

but how cool we think the cars are.

First, the VW Beetle convertible.

That's a cool car.
Higher, put it higher.

LAUGHTER
Higher, no.

No, up there.
Actually, move it into Uncool.

I kinda like it there, personally.

The Streetka. It is very much
not a car for a bloke.

But it is a cool car. We all agreed?

AUDIENCE: Yes.

So that leaves us with the
Smart car. Anyone got any thoughts?

AUDIENCE SHOUTS

Sub Zero. Why? It's the coolest car
here. The Smart is? Easily. Good man.

Where's it going? Uncool. Sub Zero.

You're right, you're wrong,
I'm always right.

It's going there cos I know
everything. Always right? Yeah.

I've had a new idea
while we've been off the air.

It's this, the Top Gear Love & Hate
board. The Love section's full.

Kristin Scott Thomas
and Terry-Thomas.

We're most interested in this bit,
the Hate section, things we hate.

Like stereos that have a chummy
greeting when you turn them on.

Why?! Why does it have to say hello?
I just want it to play Terry Wogan.

Other things we hate, obviously,
paddle shifts.

Those semi-automatic
gearboxes like Formula One.

Personalised registration plates?
Yes? We really hate those.

LAUGHTER

I thought about stuff that I hate

and came up with a list.

A man can never have too many. It's
my top five worst cars ever. Good.

Top five worst cars ever...
Well, here's my list, OK? Mm-hm.

In fifth place is the AMC Pacer.

What a moose! That IS a moose.

The doors on each side
aren't even the same length!

At number four is the Peel!

It only had one head lamp. It did.

If one came towards you, you thought
it was a motorbike. "It's a car!"

In third place, the Vauxhall Vectra.
Obviously. In second place -

the Suzuki X90.
I road-tested that on old Top Gear.

We filmed at night cos I didn't
want people to see me in it!

In first place, it's a big question.

My worst car ever.
What are we looking for?

The car equivalent of drizzle.

No. Because there's something
going on. We want worse than that.

It's like those days when you
walk out and there is no weather.

There's only one car
that can manage that. And it's this.

The Nissan Sunny.
I don't know where to start.

There are uglier cars
and worse cars to drive.

But their badness
gives them character.

This commits the worst crime -
blandness.

God gave us celery as the benchmark

of nothingness.

Then mankind improved on that

with this...thing - I hesitate
even to call it an abomination.

Forget redeeming features,
it doesn't have any features.

Something else I don't get.
Dragsters. It has a big engine.

That's jet engine.

It will do 0-200mph in 3. 8 seconds,

but it struggles
to better 100 gallons to the mile,

and every time you want to get
into it, you've gotta split in half.

And I don't think
it's even got a reverse gear.

But they do have one useful feature.

Get 'em working.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

APPLAUSE

How much fun was that?! Fantastic!

We have a theme. Jeremy's looked
at smart roadsters, small cars.

Cheap thrills is the kind of feel.

That dragster
did burn about £100-worth of fuel.

The best £100 you could ever spend.
LAUGHTER

Footballers. The time was, not that
I know, when it was a great game.

The men were men and
in the wall they stood like that.

Now it's this, "Ooh, mind me hair! "

But my guest tonight
is from those olden days.

He'd drive
a large Mercedes to a fight

and a football game might break out.

He's now an actor and
has his own fly-on-the-wall series.

Ladies and gentlemen, Vinnie Jones!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Vinnie, how are you? How are ya?
Have a seat.

APPLAUSE

You hold the world record for being
sent off in a game of football.

It is five seconds, isn't it? Yeah.
I ran on and it was like a minute.

No, you've done it in five seconds.
No, about a second.

I'm intrigued, not being
a footballist, how do you reach

an opposing player to commit
an atrocity in that time?

I'd need a minute and a half...

As the ref looked at the goalkeepers,

as he put the whistle to his mouth,
I set off.

So as he blew, I crossed the line
at full speed.

When they knocked it to each other,
they saw me coming.

It's blow the whistle now.
Vinnie booked now.

It's such an achievement.

Now, your driving.
What was your first car?

I had a bit of money from playing
in Sweden

and I bought a red Cortina. Ooh.

Which mark? A Mark Four. Mark Four?

Then, Wimbledon were very basic.

Meself, Dave Beasant and the physio
went there and I wanted to drive

and we took the team kit with us.

We get to Chelsea and they say,
"You're not coming in. "

I said, "I'm a player. " By the time
he had finished, it had overheated.

The smoke was coming through
the vents. It was hilarious.

We took the kit out, pushed it
in the car park and it stayed there.

I don't know what happened to it.

They've redone Chelsea now. I'm
sure. Ken Bates probably nicked it!

We'll look out for him. You're
over in America a lot these days.

Do they have the first idea
what you are, who you are?

I sort of get more... credibility
when they come and talk to you

and realise you was a footballer.

AMERICAN ACCENT:
"He was a soccer player? "

I mean Nick Cage... You were in
Gone In 60 Seconds. Good car film.
Yeah. Is he a car nut? Yeah.

He used to come down to work,
say, in his Bentley.

Then a Ferrari would turn up,
then a great big motorbike

and when we'd finished, he'd be
there, "What shall I go home in? "

He went on his motorbike one day

and we were pulling out and tried
to follow him up the motorway.

He was just gone! It must be great
for him with the crash helmet on.
No-one knows who he is.

Lock Stock started it all. Yeah.

You know the scene
of you with the car door? Yeah.

What was going through your head
when you were doing that?

I can't say it on air.
I'd get sued again! Whisper it.

We were thinking, that P6,
big heavy doors in those days. Yes.
Good for smashing a man's head in.

Modern cars - we're not so sure.
Can you pass us our prop?

The windows would go now. Exactly.

Imagine this.
We've all seen Day Of The Jackal.
If you could come with me, Vinnie.

I want you to try and smash this
in the door of one of our cars.

Gather round.
We're going to this Smart car. Oh!

It's made of plastic. It hasn't got
to go back, has it? What? It has.

I'd like you to re-enact the scene.
Put it in from the other side.

It was a block of wood in Lock Stock.
It's a heavy watermelon in this.

Right, here we go.

Ready? Yeah, here we go.

Not bad! In one!

APPLAUSE

So...

So, a little bit of The Day Of The
Jackal, little bit of Lock Stock,
little bit of Top Gear all in one!

Now, you haven't just come here...
Can you hang on to that?

Do the garden, mate! Yes!

You haven't just come here to smash
watermelons to pieces. You've come
to do a lap on our track.

You went with the Stig.
What was that like?

When the backside stops retracting,
I'll let you know!

It is time to see how you got on
in your lap.

This is the power board. I want to
beat Jonathan Ross. I've got to.

Ross, one minute 57. You could have
strolled! Shall we see how you did?

A Star In A Reasonably Priced Car.
Play it. Oooh!

Nice start.

Come on, girl. 'It looks very slow. '

It seemed faster
when I was doing it!

It is a Suzuki Liana.
It's not a fast car.

If you lose speed here,
you'll never get it back all
the way up the main straight.

'This is the home bit. '

This is where everyone goes off.
How do you manage?

I'm still in. Boot it!

You kept it on the island and that
was where Gambon nearly rolled it.
You're across the line!

APPLAUSE

Seemed a bit slow. I've been
told the time. Go on. You want to
be faster than Jonathan Ross. Yeah.

I pity Jonathan if you aren't
faster! Rossy will not let me...

Vinnie J, one minute...

50... 51?

Three! 53! You're in there
faster than Ross Kemp.

Ladies and gentlemen, Vinnie Jones!

APPLAUSE

This being a new series
of Top Gear, we thought
we'd try out a new presenter.

He's called James May.

On the evidence of what we're about
to see, he is a blithering idiot!

One day, probably in the dentist,
you'll leaf idly

through the small ads in the back
of a classic car magazine.

You'll probably think, "That money
I spent on a Mondeo could have been
spent on something interesting... "

Like an Inspector-Morse-style Jag,
for example, a Porsche 911...

There are a lot of old 911s in here.

You could even have a Bentley.

Mind you, you'd have to be a
complete idiot to buy one of those.

This one's mine.

It's a T2, pretty much
the cheapest Bentley money can buy.

You can pick one of these up
for seven grand.

Don't. For that money it's gonna be
a complete bag of bolts.

'This is a good 'un. It cost
£14,000, the parts are genuine,

'there's no rust, no filler
and no evidence of bodged repairs.

'14 grand's a lot for this, but
only the price of a basic Mondeo.

'Unlike the Mondeo, though,
the Bentley shouldn't depreciate.

'A Mondeo is disposable,
but a Bentley's...a Bentley. '

So why do I like it then?

Well... I like this wood. Someone's
taken a lot of care of that.

I like the strip of chrome down the
bonnet and the weird winged thing.

I like the sort of daftness of it.
The light switch is there.

The key goes here
and the windscreen wipers are here.

I'd expect the wipers to be here
but it's the gear stick.

The handbrake's down here.
'It's all wrong and I love that. '

'Somewhere up front is
a huge 6.7 5-litre V8 engine.

'But when you put
your foot down... '

nothing happens.

It might go a bit faster,
but on the whole, it's a complete
waste of time.

You might as well just relax!

Handling. I've got furniture that
handles better than this thing.

Watch. Absolutely nothing.

'So, it's rubbish to drive,
I'm going slower than you and yes,
I look like a failed porn star.

'But I am in my own Bentley!

'Right then,
a Bentley for Mondeo money. '

Some of you are pretty tempted
by this idea, but I haven't told
you how it ruined my life yet!

'I said this car doesn't depreciate.

'Big deal! Who really cares
about depreciation? It's something
that goes on all the time.

'It doesn't hurt you every day.

'For that you need a Bentley.

'Every time I go near this thing,
it runs off with my wallet.

'It costs 80 quid to fill up and
does 15 miles to the gallon. I have
to rent a garage to keep it in.

'It takes up two tokens
at the jetwash.

'Servicing only costs the same
as it does for a mid-size BMW,

'but it has to go in more often.

'That's why my mechanic buys
his overalls from Gucci
while I sit at home eating gruel. '

Cheap thrills? Humph, try this!
It's bloody terrifying!

You rent a garage
seven miles from your house?

Mmm. How do you get there?
On my folding bicycle!

You are mad! You're just insane
running a car like this.

I think you may be missing an
essential point. Comfy, though!

This has firm suspension! Really?

The "T" is for firm suspension. It
has the Harvey Bailey handling kit.

Harvey didn't know anything
about suspension either!

Despite all that, of all the cars
in this studio, this one
is actually the cheapest. No.

The Smart's cheaper.
For £500 less you can have a Smart.

Well... Which doesn't do this.

This would have been cheaper
if I'd haggled a bit more.

That's a British disease. It is.

Am I right in saying this car
is so cool, that most people,

by which I mean Jeremy,
don't realise it? AUDIENCE: Yes!

Hands up if you think
it's a cool car. That's three.

And on that bombshell,
let's do the news.

News first of two hot new Peugeots.

The first of them
is the new 206 GTI.

It's 180bhp.

That's quite a lot in a small car.
£14,995, which isn't bad.
That is a hot car.

The second one...
I can't quite understand this.

It's a 206, it's a GTi,
it's 138bhp, slightly less powerful,

but you'll notice it's an estate,
a tiny estate car.

That, to me, is pointless.
More than that, it's a tragedy.

That's what the French call
"idiotique". Yes! Don't like it.

I like it. Why? Cos the 206 is
a good car. Are we all agreed?

Yeah. It's a good hatchback. It's
a good car with space for your dog!

You can get a dog in a hatchback!

No, you can't. A big dog
won't go in a 206. Hang on.

Hang on. A dog is for life.
If you've got a big dog already,
you specify a big estate car.

If you already have a small car,
get a small dog like one of those
mutants that come third at Crufts.

If you had a dog and you needed
the space, I think that's great.

Not if you're British -
we like dogs.

Yes. But it's French and they can
put a red setter in a Renault 5.

And they crush it in so tightly,

that it looks like a photo of a dog
stuck on the window of the car.

I consider myself outvoted then -
Peugeot 206 Estate, silly car.

Silly. Silly.

Good news for car fans and film
buffs - we like films and cars -

The Italian Job,
a great film if you love cars.

There's a remake coming up
by the Americans.

Oh, God, oh!

There will be a few differences.
The previous one was shot in Turin.

Beautiful city.
The new one will be shot
in the beautiful city of LA.

Right.
Technically, it isn't Italian.

Hang on - if it's not in Italy,
is it going to be called The Job?

It doesn't say that there's going
to be a job. Just "The". "The"!

And who's playing Michael Caine?
Vin Diesel, he does everything else.

Who did they get
for the remake of Get Carter?

Stallone. Stallone. Yeah.

He can't go, "You're only supposed
to blow the bloody doors off. " No!

The thing is, when it ends and
the bus teeters on the brink
of disaster, and he says,

"I have a great idea," if he's
American, it won't be a great idea.

True!

There's an explosion and British
people are killed by accident.

And Tom Cruise will come down
in a parachute.

Yeah. And it'll be a rubbish film.

What else is in the news? Are we
going to bother to go and see that?

If a film comes to a cinema
near you called... What did you say?
"The". Exactly.

New cars since we've been off air -
Renault Kangoo. Interested, anyone?
AUDIENCE: No. I am.

£9,100 - it's a van with windows,
a bit like the Citroen Berlingo.

A little bit more expensive.

I quite like those cars, actually.

The Saab 93 Convertible -
they took a tin-opener to the 93,
which I think is a Vectra.

You're the expert. It is a Vectra,
but it's got a Saab badge on it.

If you want a convertible
Vauxhall Vectra, there you are.

I can't think why.

Now...

for people who say,
"You only like expensive cars, "
yes, the Lamborghini Gallardo!

This has got a V10, 5-litre engine.
I'll have to go to the loo
if I say that again.

500bhp, fantastic-looking thing,

on sale in Britain later this year.

Prices are anticipated
to be around £120,000,

so it will be competing
with the Ferrari 360.

And actually, if its big brother,
the Murcielago,

is anything to go by,
that will be

a stonking good car.

There's going to be a problem with
that. We've had this mystery fax.

It came to the office - some
telephone numbers and a picture.

Yes. What you would say that was?

A Lotus Esprit.
Anybody else? Lotus Esprit, yeah?

Now, this has actually come from
the manufacturer. Lotus? Lotus.

When you ring the number,

they will say, "What's that
picture? " "The Lotus Esprit. "

They want to prove this is their
shape so they can copyright it.

How can they do that?
Well, we can ensure they don't.

If you get one of these, ring up

and when they say, "What's that
picture? ", say, "Double Gloucester. "

That way, every time somebody
buys a Ferrari or a Lotus or a...

What was the...? A Lamborghini.
Or a Seat if they get round to it.

More money for Britain's beleagured
cheese-makers. Good. Good point.

Yeah.

A quick question for you - how much
do you reckon this F355 is worth?

What do you reckon?
80, 90, 60, 40? None of those.

It's worth about 20 grand.

This is our cheap thrills show -
this isn't a Ferrari.

This is a Toyota MR2
that's been made to look
almost exactly like a F355.

The bloke who built this,
once he'd turned his Toyota MR2
into a Ferrari replica,

rang his insurance company.

"Well, " they said, "it's now
classed as a kit car. " His
premium went from £1,200 to £300.

A cheap thrill. There's a problem,
and it links back to what James
said about copyrighting cheese.

Ferrari won't be too pleased
about somebody copying their shape.

In fact, they'll probably
go after the bloke who built it.

So, he's disappeared, he's escaped
to the Midlands underground.

Wanted by the Italians, he still
survives as a soldier of fortune.

But if you want one,
if you need his help,

and if you can find him,
maybe you can buy this replica.

For this programme I was asked to
find a fun car for not much money.

And I failed...completely.

This is the Bowler Wildcat.
Nice name.

It's based on a Land Rover,

but it has one key element missing
from normal Land Rovers - speed.

An Aston Martin DB7 will go
from 0-60mph in 4. 9 seconds.

This will do it in 4. 8.

It does cost fifty grand.

But everything's relative. This is
the best off-roader in the world.

And it's road legal.

So, how has a sheep-lugger from
Solihull become an off-road Ferrari?

The Bowler Wildcats are built
by two brothers in Derbyshire.

Instead of a heavy chassis, they
use a raised-car style space frame
that takes three weeks to weld.

These body panels - fibreglass.

The engine is a 5-litre,
300bhp Land Rover TVR hybrid V8.

And the interior... Well...

..there isn't one!
But, you know, you don't care.

You just...don't.

Fifty grand might sound
a lot of money for a car
that started life as a Land Rover.

You can buy a BMW M5

for that money.

But think about it - a lot
of manufacturers claim to have

a racing pedigree.

But you couldn't turn up at Le Mans
in your M5... or your Ferrari,
for that matter,

But you could buy a Wildcat and
the next day be on the start line
at the Paris-Dakar.

Now, the scary bit.

Straight on. Left. Ooh. Ow!
That hurt.

The suspension is made by Bowler
and it is, of course,

fully adjustable. The spec list
includes FIA-spec fuel tanks,

an integrated fire extinguisher...

and best of all,

an onboard water supply
for desert racing. Ha-ha!

The power from that...

5-litre, half-TVR
half-Land Rover V8

is just eating the world.

It's incredible!

This is...fast in a whole new way.

This... I c... Ha-ha! Oh-ho!

Oh, yes!

Yes!

Argh! How can anything survive
this... including me?!

At this moment now, second...third!
Ah-ha-ha!

What a feeling!

I am a driving god!
Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...!

It's the most fun I've had in a car.

But you can only do so much of it.
You haven't started yet!

Thanks. That's Jim.

He races this. He's raced
everything else. Now this.

Oh, good! Think I'll put
my helmet on.

I drove it fast,

but Jim took it to another level.
This was an epic ride.

Incredible. And most incredible
of all was

how the machinery stood
this punishment.

What does it do to your insides?
I dislodged a lung in Italy.

Dislodged a lung?!

Of course, they tested the Bowl.

In computer simulations,
it simply outpaced the computer.

After a 40ft drop onto its nose
in the desert,

nothing, nothing happened.

If you stood ten tonne weights on
its roof, nothing would happen.

Nothing at all.

Do you know,
it's not just a cheap thrill.

At £50,000, it's a bargain
because it really is a supercar.

More than that, it's a supercar
that's virtually indestructible.

ALL: Yes!
And a brilliant car as well.

There's one bit I want to see again.
May we?

What a feeling!
Ah, I'm a driving god!

I am a driving god!

What, if you take a dog for a walk,
"I am a dog-walking god!"

It was a big moment. It's like
being in a cartoon in that thing.

Yes... You got carried away.
I got very carried away. I'm not
a driving god, it was a mistake.

But I do know someone
who is a driving god.

To find out how the Bowler would
do on the Top Gear test track,

please welcome His Holiness,
the Stig.

So it's off the line with
a bit of wheel spin there.

This does 0-60 in 4. 8 seconds.
Wonder what the Stig's listening to?

# Stand by your man... #
Oh, my word.

It doesn't get much worse than that.
That is grizzling.

By the looks of it there,
he's lost it!

No, he's kept it all together.
Just listen to that V8.

Clearly the Stig isn't there.
There's a bit of body roll there.

The Stig is really pushing
this thing as hard as it will go.

The test, he'll be coming up
to the follow through.

Will the Bowler roll?
It looks solid.

Very little body roll,
300 horsepower now,

belting out onto the straight,
two bends to go now.

Ooh, my word, that is on the edge!

Gambon Corner ahead. He's gone
off-road. He crosses the line in...

one minute, 39.4.

There you go... Hold on a second!
It's not hard to be a driving god

in a car that slow!

Now look, for a car like that...
That £50,000 car.

.. I think that is pretty impressive.

I'll grant you it is impressive.
It's in the script I should argue
but I won't because I love that car.

That's it for this evening. No.

It's not... It seems
the driving god has more to say.

What is it, driving god?
Things I wish I'd never said.

Earlier on,
I toasted that Nissan Sunny.

While we had the Jet dragster,
it was a shame to burn
just one thing I hate.

LAUGHTER

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

So, have you got anything else
to burn?

No, that's it. OK, we can end.

Good night.

Subtitles by BBC Broadcast - 2003