Three's Company (1976–1984): Season 5, Episode 6 - Room at the Bottom - full transcript

( theme song playing )

♪ COME AND KNOCK ON OUR DOOR ♪

♪ COME AND KNOCK ON OUR DOOR ♪

♪ WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU ♪

♪ WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU ♪

♪ WHERE THE KISSES ARE
HERS AND HERS AND HIS ♪

♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO ♪

♪ COME AND DANCE ON OUR FLOOR ♪

♪ COME AND DANCE ON OUR FLOOR ♪

♪ TAKE A STEP THAT IS NEW ♪

♪ TAKE A STEP THAT IS NEW ♪



♪ WE'VE A LOVEABLE SPACE
THAT NEEDS YOUR FACE ♪

♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO ♪

♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS ♪

♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS ♪

♪ THREE IS COMPANY TOO ♪

♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS ♪

♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS ♪

♪ THREE IS COMPANY TOO. ♪

OH, COME ON, LARRY.

I JUST WANT TO BORROW THE
KEYS TO YOUR CAR FOR ONE NIGHT.

WHY NOT?

OH, LARRY.

( panting )

TWO MILES.



YOU'RE SOME FRIEND, MAN.

I'D DO IT FOR YOU.

LARRY, HANG ON A
SECOND, WILL YOU?

( breathing heavily )

I HAVE TO GO NOW, LARRY.
THE ORGY'S JUST STARTED.

I CAN'T BREATHE.

I HAVE A PAIN IN MY SIDE.

I HAVE A CRAMP IN MY STOMACH,

AND MY LEGS HURT.

THEN WHY DO YOU GO JOGGING?

IT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD.

( knock at door )

I CAN'T WAIT TO GET OUT
OF THESE SWEATY CLOTHES.

YOU WERE KIDDING ABOUT
THE ORGY, OF COURSE.

OF COURSE.

HELLO, LARRY.

- I'VE BEEN HAD.
- THANKS, LARRY.

- YOU'RE WELCOME.
- COME ON, LARRY.

I'VE GOT A DATE TONIGHT
WITH BONNIE CHAMBERLAIN.

LOOK, I NEED THE CAR NOW.

I'LL DROP THE KEYS
OFF THIS AFTERNOON.

I THOUGHT YOU HAD
TO WORK TONIGHT.

YOU MEAN AT THAT
HAMBURGER JOINT?

- YEAH.
- NOT ANYMORE. I QUIT.

QUIT? JACK, YOU
CAN'T AFFORD TO QUIT.

YOU CAN IF YOU GOT
THE CHEF JOB AT LUCIEN'S.

- LUCIEN'S? THE LUCIEN'S?
- THE ONE AND ONLY.

DEAN TRAVERS HEARD THERE
WAS AN OPENING IN THE KITCHEN

- AND HE CALLED ME.
- JACK, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!

HEY, BUDDY, THAT'S
GREAT! WHEN DO YOU START?

I'LL LET YOU KNOW AS
SOON AS THEY HIRE ME.

WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU QUIT YOUR OLD JOB
BEFORE YOU GOT A NEW JOB?

JANET, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO WORRY, LOOK.

DEAN TRAVERS WROTE ME A
PERSONAL RECOMMENDATION.

BUT HOW COME YOU HAD
TO QUIT YOUR OLD JOB FIRST?

AFTER ALL, A BIRD IN THE HAND...

CAN GET YOUR HAND
AWFUL DIRTY. EXCUSE ME.

( takes deep breath )

UH, EXCUSE ME?

OH. YES, SIR?

UH, YOU WANT A RESERVATION?

NO, ACTUALLY I'M
HERE ABOUT THE JOB.

OH.

DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOOD
ENOUGH TO WORK AT LUCIEN?

WELL, UH. YES, SIR.

HA!

UH, SIR, I HAVE A
LETTER OF REFERENCE.

- OH?
- YES, I KNOW THAT

YOU'RE FAMILIAR WITH THE
DEAN OF MY COOKING SCHOOL,

- MR. TRAVERS.
- TRAVERS.

THAT PIG.

THAT PIG HE PREPARES
POLYNESIAN STYLE

IS IN A CLASS BY ITSELF.

OH, YEAH, YOU
BET. LOVE THAT PIG.

DEAN TRAVERS IS
AN INCREDIBLE COOK.

NONSENSE, THE MAN
GOT LUCKY WITH ONE PIG.

HE'S A NO-TALENT FRAUD.

AS I WAS SAYING,

DEAN TRAVERS IS AN
INCREDIBLE CROOK.

IMAGINE, RIPPING OFF THOSE
POOR, INNOCENT STUDENTS.

BUT, HE DOES KNOW HOW TO TEACH.

DO YOU HAVE A PERSONAL
RECOMMENDATION FROM HIM?

UH, YES.

WELL, LET ME HAVE IT.

UH, WHAT DID I DO...

HERE.

- WHERE'S THE LETTER?
- THAT WAS IT.

EXCUSE ME, UH... LET ME JUST...

IT'S UH, WELL.

I COULD HAVE THIS PRESSED.

IT GOES TOGETHER.

THAT ONE RIGHT HERE.
"HE'S EXCEPTIONAL."

YES.

YES, YES, YES. VERY IMPRESSIVE.

DOES THAT MEAN
YOU'LL GIVE ME THE JOB?

YOU CAN START TONIGHT.

THAT'S GREAT! THANK YOU.

EXCUSE ME. UH, UH, SIR?

I HAPPENED TO BRING ALONG
SOME OF MY FAVORITE RECIPES

THAT GOT ME QUITE A FEW,
WELL, RAVES IN COOKING SCHOOL.

I DON'T THINK YOU'LL NEED THOSE.

WELL, HEY, SCRATCH THE RECIPES.

YOU PROBABLY WANT
ME TO WAIT AWHILE

BEFORE I START WITH
MY OWN CREATIONS.

YOU JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT.

I WANT YOU TO CLEAR THE
TABLES, FILL THE WATER PITCHERS,

AND HELP THE WAITERS.

WAIT A SECOND, THAT... THAT...
THAT'S WHAT A BUSBOY DOES.

YOU'RE A QUICK LEARNER.
I LIKE THAT IN A BUSBOY.

A BUSBOY? WAIT... A BUSBOY.

( laughing )

I SAID SOMETHING AMUSING?

NO, SIR. I CAME...

I WAS APPLYING FOR
THE JOB OF CHEF.

( laughing )

NOW, THAT'S AMUSING.

BUSBOY? I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

MY BOY, WITH YOUR EXPERIENCE,

THAT IS THE ONLY JOB YOU'RE
GOING TO GET IN A FINE RESTAURANT.

- A BUSBOY?
- WELL, YOU'LL BE

FOLLOWING IN THE FOOTSTEPS
OF SOME OF OUR GREATEST CHEFS.

I DON'T CARE ABOUT
FOLLOWING IN THE FOOTSTEPS.

I SPENT THREE YEARS AT
A TOP COOKING SCHOOL.

I GRADUATED AT THE HEAD OF MY
CLASS. I'VE WON ALL KINDS OF AWARDS.

I EVEN QUIT MY JOB, AND YOU
WANT ME TO BE A BUS BOY?

- EXACTLY.
- WHEN DO I START?

HEY, JANET, THANKS FOR THE
USE OF THE VACUUM CLEANER.

- I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.
- SURE, LAR, ANY TIME.

BUT HANG ON A SECOND.

WHAT IS THIS SUDDEN
URGE TOWARD NEATNESS?

WELL, LAST NIGHT,

WE ENDED UP AT MY PLACE
AFTER THE BEACH PARTY,

AND, UH... I HAVE TO GET
THE SAND OUT OF MY BED.

HERE COMES JACK. GEE,
I HOPE HE GOT THE JOB.

OH, GOLLY, ME TOO.

- BUT DON'T MENTION THE JOB.
- WHY NOT?

BECAUSE IF HE DIDN'T GET IT,
THAT'LL MAKE HIM FEEL WORSE.

SO JUST ACT REAL CASUAL
AND DON'T MENTION THE JOB.

- OH, YEAH, GOTCHA.
- OKAY, CASUAL.

HI.

DID YOU GET THE
JOB OR NOT, JACK?

UH, UH, UH...

JANET, I'M GONNA BE
FOLLOWING IN THE FOOTSTEPS

OF SOME OF OUR GREATEST CHEFS.

OH, HE GOT IT! HE'S THE CHEF!

WAIT A MINUTE.

- YOU ARE FANTASTIC!
- WAIT, JANET.

YEAH, JACK, YOU ARE FANTASTIC.

LARRY!

YOU WERE WORRIED ABOUT
JACK QUITTING HIS OTHER JOB?

WELL, COME ON.
THERE'S NOT EXACTLY

A LOT OF OPENINGS
OUT THERE FOR CHEFS.

I MEAN, IT'S NOT AS
IF HE WAS APPLYING

FOR A JOB AS A
BUSBOY OR SOMETHING.

BUSBOY. RIGHT.

OH, MY, MY, MY. LOOK
AT WHAT TIME IT IS.

IT'S SO LATE, IT'S
ALMOST SIX O'CLOCK.

WELL, AS I ALWAYS SAY, IT
NEVER CAN BE TOO EARLY

FOR YOUR FIRST DAY AT WORK.

EXCUSE ME, I JUST CAME BY
TO GET MY, UM... CHEF SHOES.

WAIT A SECOND, AREN'T
YOU FORGETTING SOMETHING?

YOUR DATE WITH
BONNIE CHAMBERLAIN?

MY DA... MY DATE WITH BONNIE!

I FORGOT. LISTEN,
I BETTER CALL HER.

OH, NO, I JUST REMEMBERED. WE
WERE GONNA MEET EACH OTHER

AT THE REGAL BEAGLE
RIGHT AFTER WORK.

NO PROBLEMO. I'M ON MY
WAY DOWN THERE ANYWAY,

I'LL EXPLAIN TO HER
ABOUT YOUR JOB.

- NO, LARRY, DON'T.
- WHAT? OH, JACK.

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?
I'M GONNA TAKE ADVANTAGE

OF THIS OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE
A PLAY FOR BONNIE MYSELF?

YES.

- IT'S NOT A BAD IDEA.
- LARRY.

TELL US ALL ABOUT YOUR NEW JOB.

WELL, I, UM... I,
UH... I GOTTA GO.

GEE, HE SURE WAS IN A HURRY.

YEAH. WELL, YOU KNOW HOW IT IS,

FIRST NIGHT ON A NEW JOB.
LARRY, I'D LOVE TO BE THERE

BUT I'LL BET LUCIEN'S
COSTS A FORTUNE.

( scoffs ) ARE YOU KIDDING?

THEY DON'T PARK
THE CUSTOMER'S CARS,

THEY TAKE THEM AS DOWN PAYMENTS.

THANKS AGAIN FOR
THE VACUUM CLEANER.

SURE, ANY TIME. BYE.

( phone rings )

HELLO?

HELLO, JANET, IS THAT YOU?

CHRISSY!

OH, I'M SORRY, CHRISTY. I
MUST HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER.

NO, NO.

NO, PLEASE DON'T HANG UP.

IT'S ME, JANET. HOW'S YOUR MOM?

Oh, she's getting much better.

- OH, GOOD.
- Yeah.

SHE SAYS WITH ME AROUND HERE

TELLING HER ALL
ABOUT SANTA MONICA

AND THE APARTMENT,
AND YOU AND ME,

AND ME AND JACK,
AND YOU AND JACK

AND JACK AND MR. FURLEY,

SHE'S FORGOTTEN ALL
ABOUT THE PAIN IN HER SIDE.

That's good.

YEAH, EXCEPT NOW
SHE HAS A HEADACHE.

HEY, CHRISSY, GUESS WHAT?

JACK IS STARTING A
BRAND-NEW JOB TONIGHT

AS CHEF AT A VERY
POSH RESTAURANT.

( gasps )

AHH! OH, I'M SO SORRY
I CAN'T BE THERE.

OH, YEAH, ME TOO.

BUT I'M DOWN TO
MY LAST SIX BUCKS.

I WISH I KNEW SOMEBODY WHO OWED
ME MONEY, THEN I COULD COLLECT.

HEY, I KNOW SOMEBODY
WHO OWES YOU MONEY.

You do, Chrissy? Who, who?

ME!

YEAH, BUT YOU'RE 300 MILES AWAY.

OH, THAT'S RIGHT.

I WISH I WAS BACK
AT THE APARTMENT.

THEN ALL I'D HAVE TO
DO IS FIND SOMEBODY

TO BORROW $20 FROM, AND
THEN I COULD PAY YOU BACK.

CHRISSY...

Can't you find
somebody to take you?

OOH, IS THAT A GOOD IDEA.
THAT'S REALLY A GOOD IDEA.

BUT WHERE AM I
GONNA FIND SOMEBODY

WHO CAN AFFORD AN EXPENSIVE
RESTAURANT LIKE THAT?

AND WHO DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING
TO DO ON SATURDAY NIGHT,

AND WHO IS ABSOLUTELY
DESPERATE FOR A DATE?

JANET?

GOTTA HANG UP, CHRISSY.
YOUR IDEA JUST WALKED IN.

WELL, COME IN, MR. FURLEY.

COME ON.

MY, DON'T YOU LOOK NICE.

ALL DRESSED UP
WITH NO PLACE TO GO?

I'VE BEEN WHERE I'M GOING.

MR. FURLEY, WHAT'S THE MATTER?

THAT'S THE LAST
TIME I MAKE A DATE

TO GO TO A RESTAURANT
WITH A LIBERATED WOMAN.

WHY? WHAT DID SHE DO? SHE
DIDN'T LET YOU PULL THE CHAIR OUT?

( mumbles ) NO, NO...

SHE DIDN'T LET YOU
LIGHT HER CIGARETTE?

- SHE DIDN'T LET YOU ORDER?
- SHE DIDN'T SHOW UP!

WELL, GOLLY.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST FORGET
ABOUT HER, MR. FURLEY.

THERE ARE A LOT
OF GIRLS OUT THERE

WHO'D LIKE TO GO
TO DINNER WITH YOU.

YOU'RE DARN RIGHT THERE ARE.

NAME ONE.

ME.

- YOU?
- UH-HUH.

( laughs )

- YOU AND ME?
- MM-HMM.

GO OUT TOGETHER,
JUST THE TWO OF US?

I LIKE IT.

YOU KNOW, MR. FURLEY,

I KNOW THIS TERRIFIC
FRENCH RESTAURANT

THAT HAS A GREAT NEW CHEF.

FRENCH RESTAURANT?
OH, GEE, I DON'T KNOW.

WHY DON'T WE GO TO SOME
CHEAP... A CHINESE PLACE.

WELL... BUT, MR. FURLEY,

THIS IS JACK'S FIRST
NIGHT AS CHEF AT LUCIEN'S.

OH, I GET IT. YOU JUST WANT
ME ALONG TO PAY THE BILL.

YOU CAN'T FOOL ME.

OH, NO. YEAH, I JUST THOUGHT

THAT YOU WOULD
PROBABLY WANT TO GO

TO THE HOTTEST
PICK-UP SPOT IN TOWN.

YOU HAVE TO GET UP
PRETTY EARLY IN THE MORNING

TO FOOL... PICK-UP SPOT?

YEAH.

LUCIEN'S IS JUST
CRAWLING WITH GIRLS

- LOOKING FOR DATES.
- HUH, SOUNDS GREAT!

AU REVOIR.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.
WHOA, WHOA. STOP, STOP.

AREN'T YOU GONNA TAKE ME?

WHAT DO I NEED YOU FOR?

BAIT.

- BAIT?
- UH-HUH.

COME ON, YOU KNOW
THAT WHEN A MAN

WALKS INTO A ROOM
WITH A GIRL ON HIS ARM,

ALL THE OTHER GIRLS ARE
TWICE AS INTERESTED IN HIM.

OH, I DON'T KNOW, JANET.

YOU'LL CRAMP MY STYLE.

I LIKE TO WALK INTO A
PLACE ALONE, YOU KNOW?

SIDLE UP TO THE BAR,
AND TURN TO THE CHICK

WHO'S LUCKY ENOUGH
TO BE SITTING NEXT TO ME.

AND SAY, "HI, GOOD
LOOKIN'. WHAT'S COOKIN'?"

THEN SHE SAYS TO ME...

THEN SHE SAYS TO ME...

WELL, JANET, WHAT
ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

- GET DRESSED!
- OH, THANK YOU!

TRIPPER!

WELL, YOU SHOULD HAVE
BEEN HERE A MINUTE AGO.

- THIS WAS PERFECT.
- TRIPPER...

YOU ARE A BUSBOY,
NOT A BRAIN SURGEON.

- WANT ME TO GO FASTER?
- OH, SO BRIGHT.

WHY, ON TABLE NUMBER FOUR,
ARE THERE WILTED FLOWERS?

BEATS ME. THEY SAY
IF YOU TALK TO THEM

- THEY CAN GROW...
- REPLACE THEM!

YOU KNOW, DEAR,

I THINK THAT I'LL TRY
THE SALMON POACH.

UH, EXCUSE ME. IF I WERE YOU,

I'D HAVE THE SOLE MUSSELINE.

THE CHEF HERE USES TOO
MUCH HEAT FOR THE SALMON.

I DON'T LIKE THE SOLE MUSSELINE.

WELL, YOU WON'T LIKE
THE SALMON EITHER.

MAY I RECOMMEND FOR
YOU THE VEAL LESTRAGONE?

EXCUSE ME.

IF YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH ONE
MORE TIME, IT WILL BE THE LAST.

- YEAH, BUT THAT...
- NO!

GET BACK TO WORK!

( mumbles ) I'M SORRY.

OH, MY... ISN'T THIS LOVELY?

YEAH, WHERE ARE THE GIRLS?

- MR. FURLEY...
- WHERE ARE THE GIRLS?

MR. FURLEY, LATER.

THEY'LL GET HERE LATER.
IT'S A LITTLE EARLY YET.

WELL, WHEN THEY DO,
YOU BETTER STAND BACK.

I DON'T WANT YOU GETTING
CRUSHED IN THE STAMPEDE.

GOOD EVENING. DO YOU
HAVE A RESERVATION?

OH, NO. BUT WE'RE
FRIENDS OF THE CHEF.

YOU'RE FRIENDS OF JACQUES?

OOH, DID YOU HEAR THAT?
HE CALLED JACK "JACQUES."

WHO CARES? WHERE ARE THE GIRLS?

MR. FURLEY!

DO YOU THINK IT'S
POSSIBLE TO GET A TABLE?

FOR FRIENDS OF JACQUES,
OF COURSE. THIS WAY.

HI, HOW WE DOING SO
FAR? HAVING A GOOD TIME?

- YOUR MENU, MONSIEUR.
- OH, THANK YOU.

WHERE ARE THE GIRLS?

- MADAME.
- THANK YOU.

I NOTICED THAT YOU HAVE
A SMUDGE ON YOUR SHOE.

LET ME GET THAT.

THIS LOOKS LIKE A REAL
EXCLUSIVE RESTAURANT.

DO YOU THINK WE CAN GET
IN WITHOUT A RESERVATION?

HEY, BONNIE, I TOLD YOU.
JACK IS THE CHEF HERE.

THEY'LL BE PRACTICALLY FALLING
OVER THEMSELVES TO PLEASE US.

( snaps fingers ) YOU.

NAME'S LARRY.

I'M A VERY CLOSE, PERSONAL
FRIEND OF THE CHEF'S.

YOU KNOW JACQUES?

WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING? I KNOW
HIM SO WELL, I CALL HIM JACK.

- THIS WAY PLEASE.
- WHAT DID I TELL YA?

MADAME.

MONSIEUR.

HERE'S YOUR MENU.

GREAT, PAL, THANKS A LOT.

- ( shouts )
- ( bells ring )

- WATER.
- PARDON ME?

WATER.

NO, THANKS, I'M NOT THIRSTY.

FOR THAT TABLE.

FOR THAT, FOR THAT,
FOR THAT... MOVE!

EXCUSE ME, THIS NEEDS
A REFILL. I'M SORRY.

BOY, OH, BOY, MY
FRENCH IS REALLY RUSTY.

WELL, LUCKY FOR YOU, I'M HERE.

MR. FURLEY, YOU SPEAK FRENCH?

DO I SPEAK FRENCH?

ISN'T FRENCH THE
LANGUAGE OF LOVE?

GARSON.

OUI, MONSIEUR.

( speaks French )

HUH?

YOU WISH TO ORDER?

OH, YEAH.

UH, WELL, WE'LL START OUT
WITH THESE ESCAR-GATS.

AND THEN WE'LL HAVE
THE SOUP DU "JER."

AND THEN WE'LL HAVE
THIS MOUSE LINE SOLE.

PARDON.

MADAME SEEMS TO HAVE YOUR MENU.

THE ONE WITH THE PRICES.

WHAT ELSE, MONSIEUR?

UH... ON SECOND THOUGHT,
CANCEL THAT ORDER.

WE DON'T WANT ALL THAT
HEAVY FOOD, DO WE, JANET?

WELL, UH...

NO, WE'LL JUST
HAVE A DINNER SALAD.

- TWO DINNER SALADS.
- ONE SALAD, TWO PLATES.

AND A LOT OF BREAD.

Waiter: TRIPPER.

BREAD FOR THAT TABLE.

HI AGAIN. EXCUSE ME.

COULD YOU PASS THESE
TO THAT NEXT TABLE?

WHY?

HUH? WELL, IT'S A
FAMILY-STYLE RESTAURANT.

- YEAH, AND UH...
- Janet: THANK YOU.

TO WASH IT ALL DOWN,

I'LL HAVE A BOTTLE OF
YOUR BEST CHAMPAGNE.

LARRY, ARE YOU SURE
YOU CAN AFFORD ALL THIS?

HEY, HEY, HEY.
NOTHING IS TOO GOOD

FOR A FRIEND OF JACK'S.

JUST UH, GIVE THE
CHECK TO THE CHEF.

TRIPPER!

- YES, SIR.
- YOU FORGOT THE BUTTER.

BUTTER.

ONE DINNER SALAD AND TWO PLATES.

THANK YOU.

Furley: SOME WILD SPOT.

I PROBABLY WON'T
BE ABLE TO EAT...

WITH ALL THE EXCITEMENT.

WON'T IT BE EXCITING
SEEING JACK AS A CHEF?

I WISH WE COULD
SEE HIM RIGHT NOW.

WE CAN.

WHY DON'T WE GO IN THE
KITCHEN AND SURPRISE HIM?

- NO!
- WHAT WAS THAT?

I'LL GIVE YOU A CLEAN
ONE. EXCUSE ME.

- MY...
- Janet: LOOK.

JACK?

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE?
- LOOK WHO'S HERE.

IMAGINE MY SURPRISE.
EXCUSE ME JUST ONE SECOND.

I'M CHECKING THIS
GENTLEMAN'S WINE.

MMM.

EXCELLENT CHOICE.
IMPUDENT VINTAGE,

WITH JUST THE RIGHT
AMOUNT OF NOSE.

I'M SO GLAD YOU CAME.

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED
YOUR MEAL. SO LONG.

NO, JACK, WE
HAVEN'T FINISHED YET.

BESIDES, I WANT TO
GET YOUR PICTURE.

WHAT?

I ASKED MR. FURLEY TO
BRING ALONG HIS CAMERA.

JANET, MR. FURLEY? I
THOUGHT THAT WAS YOU.

- Janet: LARRY, HI!
- Jack: LARRY! WHAT
ARE YOU DOING HERE?

YOU THINK I'D MISS YOUR
DEBUT PERFORMANCE?

- I EVEN BROUGHT BONNIE
ALONG WITH ME.
- HI, JACK!

OH, I'LL NEVER FORGET
YOU FOR THIS, LARRY.

TAKE A GROUP PICTURE.
GET OVER THERE.

I'VE GOT SO MANY
THINGS ON THE STOVE.

TRIPPER. I HAD TO
CLEAR TABLE SIX.

AND IT'S ABOUT TIME TOO.

CHEESE!

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

I WAS TAKING A
PICTURE OF MY FRIEND,

AND THAT DUMB
WAITER GOT IN THE WAY.

YOUR FRIEND?

I MIGHT HAVE KNOWN.
GET OUT! ALL OF YOU, OUT!

AND TAKE THIS STUPID
BUSBOY WITH YOU!

BUSBOY?

JACK?

IT'S LATE. WHAT ARE
YOU GUYS STILL DOING UP?

WE WANTED TO TALK TO YOU.

UH, I DON'T REALLY FEEL
TOO MUCH LIKE TALKING.

JACK...

HOW COME YOU DIDN'T TELL US
YOU WERE WORKING AS A BUS BOY?

I DIDN'T WANT TO BRAG.

DON'T YOU KNOW THAT WE LIKE YOU

BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU ARE,
NOT BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU DO?

YEAH, THANKS. LISTEN, I
REALLY HAVE TO GO TO...

WAIT A SECOND, BUDDY.
NOW LISTEN, HOLD IT.

EVEN SOME OF THE GREAT CHEFS IN
THE WORLD HAD TO START SOMEPLACE.

THAT'S RIGHT. LOOK
AT ABRAHAM LINCOLN.

HE STARTED OUT BY CHOPPING
DOWN CHERRY TREES IN KENTUCKY.

MR. FURLEY, THAT'S WASHINGTON.

WASHINGTON, KENTUCKY.
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?

I'M TRYING TO MAKE A POINT HERE.

IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I REALLY
HAVE TO GET SOME SLEEP.

NO, WAIT. I WANT TO
TELL YOU SOMETHING.

YOU ARE OUR VERY
BEST FRIEND, JACK.

- AND YOU'RE THE BRIGHTEST,
SMARTEST GUY THAT WE KNOW.
- THANKS, BUT I...

- SO WHY ARE YOU ACTING
LIKE SUCH AN IDIOT?
- HUH?

JACK, WHO'S THE ONE WHO
GRADUATED FIRST IN HIS COOKING CLASS?

WELL, I DID, BUT...

AND WHO IS THE ONE WHO'S
WON ALL THOSE AWARDS

FOR HIS COOKING?

- YEAH, WELL...
- YEAH, YEAH, WELL.

AND WHO IS THE ONE

THAT DEAN TRAVERS
RECOMMENDED FOR THIS JOB?

- ME.
- YEAH.

( both mumbling )

I GUESS I'M A PRETTY
GOOD COOK AT THAT.

WHAT, PRETTY GOOD?
YOU'RE THE GREATEST!

- I'M NOT THE GREATEST...
- YOU ARE, YOU ARE!

- I AM, I AM!
- OKAY, DON'T YOU FORGET IT.

- OKAY, OKAY.
- OKAY.

NOW THAT'S BEEN SETTLED, LET'S
GO AND HAVE A CELEBRATION DINNER.

- WHAT CELEBRATION DINNER?
- COME ON.

WE ALL PITCHED IN AND
COOKED UP YOUR FAVORITE DISH.

- YEAH.
- HO, HO.

OH. MMM, WHAT IS THAT?

- THAT'S COQ AU VIN.
- IT IS?

IT IS, IT IS. OH, SURE.

YEAH, GOOD OLD COQ AU
VIN. OH, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE.

SURE WE SHOULD HAVE. NOTHING'S
TOO GOOD FOR OUR BEST FRIEND.

OH, OH. THANKS.

GEE, YOU'VE ALL
BEEN SO WONDERFUL.

CAN I ASK YOU TO DO
ONE MORE THING FOR ME?

- JUST NAME IT, BUDDY.
- PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME EAT THIS.

Larry: COME ON!

- WE'LL SEE YOU LATER.
- TAKE IT EASY.

- BYE.
- THANKS FOR DINNER.

THAT'S THE FIRST TIME
I'VE EVER HAD COQ AU VIN

MADE WITH REAL COCOA BEFORE.

HEY, YOU'RE NOT STILL
DEPRESSED, ARE YOU?

WELL, JANET, THE FACT REMAINS

THAT I HAD TO TAKE A JOB
AS A BUSBOY, YOU KNOW?

SO WHAT?

JACK, STOP PUTTING
YOURSELF DOWN.

HEY, IF I HAD TO WASH DISHES

OR TAKE OUT GARBAGE
OR CLEAR TABLES,

I WOULD DO THE VERY BEST THAT
I COULD, AND I'D BE PROUD OF IT.

- YOU REALLY MEAN THAT?
- ABSOLUTELY.

GOOD, THEN YOU CLEAN UP THIS
MESS. I HAVE TO GET SOME SLEEP.

( theme music playing )

John Ritter: THREE'S COMPANY WAS
VIDEOTAPED IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE.

( theme music playing )