The Young Riders (1989–1992): Season 2, Episode 10 - Star Light, Star Bright - full transcript

Hickok's kindness brings good fortune to the riders when a grateful old prospector named Cyrus deeds half of his gold mine to them.

This ain't like
that stupid game
of baseball, is it?

Ladies and gentlemen,
may I have your
attention, please.

Since we don't got us
a lawn, we will be playing

the game of dirt tennis.

The rules are the same
and when you are assigned

your positions,
we will play a rubber.

Okay, hickok, Noah, Lou,
over there.

Cody, the kid, over there.

Now hold on a minute,

that's three against two,
teaspoon, that ain't fair.

Cody, if I could figure out
a way to split one of you
down the middle

without messing up your pretty
white clothes, I would.

Lou, you will serve first.

Take your positions, please.

Playing commence.

- Was that an ace?
- Yes.

That was out.
I, uh, I mean fault. Fault.

Jimmy, that was a good serve
and you know it.

- No, it wasn't.
- Teaspoon?


What? Teaspoon, that was out
by a long, long way.

Can't you see anything?

I calls them as
I sees them, son.

Teaspoon, put on your glasses.

Look, it landed right here,
not here, but right here.

Which makes it out.

- That is warning number one.
- Now, wait...

That is warning number two.

Read the rules, son.

You think so, huh?
All right, come on.

Double fault.

Merry Christmas, hickok.

Merry Christmas to you.

Yah! Come on. Yah!


Say, you've got good timing.
Near as good as your aim.

Save me the trouble
of whipping them barehanded.

Well, I believe you could.

Name's Cyrus happy.
They call me hap, mostly.

James hickok. Who were they?

Oh, just some skunks.
They was trying to bushwhack
me before I get into town.

Why's that?

Well, they's after this,
you see.

That real gold?

Oh, ho. Just like at the
end of the rainbow.

'Cause they was wanting
to know where I found it
so they could jump my claim.

I was just heading into
Sweetwater to register it.

Never held this much
gold before.

James, you get used to it,
because you just earned
yourself half my strike.


That's the least I can do.
You saved my hide, didn't you?

Well, that's real
generous of ya, but I can't...
I can't take that.

Yeah, why not?

Oh, well, it just ain't right.

Well, of course it is.
I'd have been killed
if it weren't for you.

But that don't mean you got
to give your gold...

Ah, listen, gold ain't no
good to a dead man.

There's a whole fortune there,
more than I could ever use.

You ain't got nothing against
being rich, have you?

I never really put much
thought into it.

There you are.
It's all settled.

You get me into Sweetwater
safe and sound,
tomorrow we'll go in

and register it
and it will be all legal.

We got a deal, partner?

All right.

Here. Yeah.

I said, "no." No more
credit until you settle
your account, jorgenson.

Now, that's final.

I swear. I'll pay you next
month, Mr. Tompkins.

That's what you said
last month and the month
before that.

I tried, sir.
I can't get a fair price
for my cattle.

If I sell now,
I'll lose everything.

Just a few more weeks,
that's all I'm asking.

I know times are tough,
but I can't keep carrying ya.

I'm sorry, but that's
the way it is.

Mr. Tompkins,
I don't mean to interfere,

but the jorgensons
are good folks.
I'm sure you can trust him.

Rachel, I can't run this store
on promises.

Now, he owes me too
much already.

He's got a wife
and two children.

And I just thought that
with Christmas coming...

I don't like to see
folks suffer, Rachel.

I got my own bills to pay.
Here, look at this.

Half the folks in Sweetwater
owe me money, even your
way station.

Now will there be
something else?


Sure looks real.

It is real.

Let me see?

- Give it here.
- Cody!

Thank you, Rachel.

That's gold.

That's what I've been saying.

He really gave you
half his claim?

Yeah, I'm going to meet him
at the land office tomorrow.

Damn, Jimmy,
you're going to be rich.

I think it's just wonderful.

Can I have it back?

I just like to hold it.


Wasn't I supposed
to make that run?

Yeah, but you asked
to switch with me.

Yeah, but it was
my run originally.

What are you getting at?

Now, Cody, you asked me
to take that run before Jimmy.

You turned it down.

You're both wrong.
Teaspoon scheduled me to ride.

But that was a mistake
because I was...

- Wait a second...
- On the schedule...

- that was my run...
- Quiet!

Quiet, quiet!

Everybody settle down.
Would you listen
to yourselves?

You should be glad for Jimmy.

He risked his life to save
that poor old man. It's only
fair that he be rewarded.

Now I don't want to hear
any more complaining.

You all make my head
hurt, sometimes.
You really do.

Hell, it could have been
any one of us out there.
I guess.

Ah. Why don't we
just split it even.

- Okay?
- Sure.


Here's to gold nuggets
as big as your fist and pretty
women to spend 'em on.



Don't seem right,
Rachel not taking a share.

She only thinks the riders
deserve it.

Well, that's what teaspoon'll
probably say when he
gets back.

He swears gold's never
brought him nothing
but trouble.

Give me that kinda trouble
any day.

When do you think this mine
of ours is going start
paying out there, hap?

Oh, right quick now,
just as soon as you boys
buy the provisions.

What provisions?

To work the claim.
Why you've got to have
food, and tools,

blasting powder, lumber,
four, five pack mules.

Oh, shouldn't cost more
than two hundred dollars.

You want us to pay that?

Well, that gold ain't gonna
just jump out of the ground
into your pocket now, is it?

Takes a lot of hard work,
sweat, know-how, and seeing's
how I'm providing that,

it seems only fair you boys
ought to buy the equipment.

Partners, ain't we?

Come on, Lou, it's only $30.

You can't back out now.

I ain't gonna do it.

You don't pay,
you give up your share.

What's wrong?

Hap needs $200
for supplies.
Lou won't pay up.

I told you I'm saving my money
for something else.

Ike says he's broke.

Oh, great, now we won't
have enough.

Well, now, wait a minute.
Maybe you boys ought
to just slow down...

I got it! Let's use
the Christmas money.

No way, Cody.
We collected that
for teaspoon's present.

This'll be his present.

You know we can give him
a part of the mine.

I won't let ya do it.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

Well, it's our money. So give
it here.


Thank you.

I'd take a look at that mine
before I spent all my money
on it.

Geez. All right.

Let's have five of these
and that will do it.

Okay that's $183 and 40 cents.

And I'll have everything
ready to go in the morning.

All right, all right.
Pay the man, boys.

Me, the kid and Cody
are going to ride out
to the claim.

Oh, that's good.
Hell that will discourage
any trouble.

You boys eat breakfast?

Oh, been known to.

Meet me over at the hotel
about eight o'clock.

I'll buy you the best feed
you ever had.

There you are,
one bolt of calico.
It will make up right pretty.

And you'll be wanting
some of these ribbons
to go with it.

Hell, look at here,
miss mccord, these cups
ought to do just fine

for your Christmas party.

And I'll even throw in
this matching pitcher.

Miss mccord: I don't know
about that. But I do need
the white bread.

Are you Mr. Tompkins?

I'll be right with you.

Mr. Mcphalen
sends his regards.

- Oh, excuse me.
- Certainly.

I, uh... I'm sorry I didn't
know who...

Mr. Mcphalen
will be here Wednesday.

He expects to be paid in full.

Well, I won't have the money
by Wednesday.

I... I told him in my letter
that I I've got to have
more time.

Time's running out,
Mr. Tompkins.

It's a nice
wagon you got.
Yap, sure...

- Looking for Cyrus happy.
- You and me both.

What's wrong?

The old buzzard snuck out
of here last night
owing me $17.

- You sure?
- Damn right I'm sure.

He cleaned out his room,
even stole the towels.

Why would he do
a thing like that?

Thank you.

He came back about
an hour later, said you boys
had changed your minds.

I gave him the money back.

- All of it?
- Every cent.

Why, is something wrong?

What do you mean, my fault?
I didn't tell
you to trust him.

- You're the one
that brought him here.
- Hold on.

All I did was help him.

Look, nothing would have
happened if you hadn't been
so damned greedy.

- Who you calling greedy? Huh?
- Would you stop it?

This ain't gonna help nothing.

We've gotta find hap
and we've got to get
our money back.

How? There's over
thousands of miles
of territory around here.

His horse was stabled
at the livery. Maybe they'll
know something.

Yeah, I remember him.
He asked about fort laramie.

Seemed real anxious
to get there.

- All right. Thanks, Otis.
- You bet.

It seems to me like
he's headed toward blue creek.

That's the opposite direction.

Hap's not dumb enough
to say where he's going.

He figures to trick us.

Or maybe he figures
that we'll figure that that's
what he figures

and really go to fort laramie.

Cody, you know the trouble
with you is that you're always
making mud out of clear water.

I'm going to blue creek.

You forgetting something?


We've got to go back
to the way station and
tell 'em all what happened.

Let's just get it over with.
Come on.

- Here you go.
- Thank you.

Any of you gentlemen
care to join me here?

Help yourselves.
Go right ahead.
Don't be shy.

Well, then. Have any of you
gentlemen ever played
follow the queen?

I ain't never heard of it.

Well, I tell you, there just
ain't nothing to it

so long as you got
a good sharp eye.

'Cause what she does is go

around and around and around.

And where she stops,
nobody knows.
Except you.

And all you got to do
is pick her out.
There you go.

- It's that one.
- Oh, ho.

Ah, look at there. Ha!

Shoot, boys, this is easy.

Well, say, what'd I tell you?

Now, I'll tell you what
I'm going to do.

Horace, I've got to have
my money.

I told you yesterday,
I'm waiting to
get paid myself.

Now you just relax.

Don't tell me to relax.
Look at here.

Right there.
Now, some of these
bills are two months old!

You're not the only one
holding overdue bills.
We all are.

That dry spell caused
a whole lot of trouble
for everybody.

I know that, but this
is serious.

I'll try to get you something
next week. Now, that's
the best I can do.

About that money you owe me.


That one.

Oh, are you sure now?

Turn it over.

Yes, sir.
There you are, partner.

- Blast it all!
- Oh, now. Easy, friend.

You're hoodwinking me,
I know it.

Oh, no, there's no cause
for trouble here, gentlemen.

- You're cheating us!
- With my good money!

Well, we're in the right place.

- I want my money back!
- I want mine!

We'll never get our money
after they get
through with him.

Turn those cards over!
Let me look at those.

- Come on, turn 'em over!
- This is an honest game.

- It's impossible...
- Those cards
are marked.

You lyin' snake.

- What's that? Oh. Hello!
- Now it's time
to pay up!

Come on, get up! Get up.

Not so fast.
He cheated me, too!

- He cheated us first.
- You can have him
when we're done.

I can explain.
Ow! Wait, just...
Just give me a minute

and I'll... I'll explain
the whole thing to you.

I'm telling you,
you're making a big mistake.

I was going to
come back as soon as I won...

We're going to string you up.

- No, no, please.
- Get on.

- Don't,
please, I'm begging ya.
- Get on or I really will

I'm getting up. I'm getting...

Let's go find a good
hangin' tree.

Yah! Yah!

Why, you no good...

- Come on,
let's saddle up.
- Come on, let's go!

Come on! Ha!

No sign of them.
Looks like they turned around.

Boys, I am truly
grateful to you.

Enough with the sweet talk.
Just give us our money.

Well, see, I...
I would if I could. But, I...

Don't say you don't got it.

I ain't got it.

He just said not to say that.
He's got to be lyin'.

You seen them clean me
out back there, didn't you,
during that ruckus?

Damn it all, hap!
How could you swindle us
after I saved your life?

Well, now, son, you don't
want to take it personal.

This is just... it's business.


He's busted, all right.

You know, we oughta
tie him up buck naked

behind his horse
and let it drag him
to blue creek.

Sounds good to me.

Oh, no. Now, wait now.

All you got to do is get me
over to medicine bluff.

I've got money stashed
over there to pay
you right away.

We'd have to be crazy
to trust you again.

Do you think I'd lie?

After you saved my life twice.

Well, you're gonna wish
we never had saved ya,
if you are lying.

Get him out of here.

- Excuse me. Mr. Tompkins?
- Yeah?

There's $23 there.
That's all I could get.

- You owe me 68.
- I know.

I'll pay you more next week.
That's a promise.

All right.

Can we buy a few things?

Sure, if you've got money.

Well, I just paid you $23.

Well, what good
does that do me if you
borrow it right back?

Nobody wants to pay their...
It's people like you
that are ruining me.

Well, it'll be good riddance.

I hope you lose it all.

Hey, you're going
to pay for that.

Come here.

Oh, Steven, stop.
Stop it!

Hey, break it up! Break it up!
That's enough! Stop it!

I want him arrested!

He attacked me,
and busted up my store

and I want him arrested!

We can camp here
tonight and still make
medicine bluff by noon.

I say we keep going.


Hap? Hap?

He's dead.

Well, he can't be dead.

Well, he ain't breathing.

Maybe he just fainted
or something.

Check again.

Maybe he had a weak heart.

Maybe we shouldn't have been
so mean to him.

Shouldn't have been
so mean to him?
He stole our money.

Something wrong?

He drank a powerful herb used
in religious ceremonies.

Slows the heart.

Could knock him out for a
couple of hours.

You mean, he's faking?

The man can't even die
without lying.

Probably figured we'd
leave him for dead.

Then we ought to Bury him, too.

Well, he's been leading us on
a wild goose chase all along.

I say we take him to jail
in Sweetwater.

Is there any way to wake him?

Oh, no.

Mr. Mcphalen...

You must be Mr. Tompkins?

- Yes, sir.
- Sit down.

Perkins, get the
gentleman some coffee.

Ah, no. No, thanks.

Well, I'll get right
to the point, Mr. Tompkins.

I'm a gambler, not a merchant.

I don't want your store.
I don't want to own it,
I don't want to run it.

That's your business, not mine.

I sure am glad
to hear you say that.

Unfortunately, you owed a
great deal of money

to a man who had
very poor judgment
when it came to cards.

He lost the note
on your store to me.

Oh, I know that, sir,
and I'm doing my best...

I'm not interested in
your best, Mr. Tompkins.

All I'm interested in
is collecting $3700.

Do you have my money?

Well, I don't have
all of it, but...

I can give you about
$1000 right...

That's not enough.

Ah, well, I can get more
after new year's.

I can't wait that long.

You... you've got to give me
a couple of more days,
please, I...

I built that old store with
my bare hands, and it's
all I got in the world.

Seeing as it is the holidays,
I'm feeling charitable.

I'll give you till
tomorrow night.

If I don't have my
money by then, I'll take
everything you own.

Nathan, charity, help me get
this wood over there.


Afternoon, Rachel.

Sarah. How is everybody?

We're fine. What brings you
out this way?

Well, I was just passing by.
Thought I'd pay a call.

You're always welcome here.
You know that.

But nobody just passes by,
not way out here.

I heard about the trouble
at tompkins' store and how
Steven's in jail.

And I was worried about
you all being alone.

We're making do.

We'd be glad to have you come
stay at the way station
till he gets home.

That's real kind of you,
but we got to look after
things here.

Well, now,
there's plenty of room.

I appreciate it.

Now, teaspoon'll be back soon,
and he'll
straighten out all this.

Oh, I hope so.

He will.

I thought you might need
a few things.

You shouldn't have done this.

Oh, god...

I don't know what we're
gonna do.

It's going to be fine.
It's going to be just fine.

I sure hate the idea
of spending Christmas
in jail, again.

Get used to it, 'cause
we're gonna make sure
there's a lot more.

Some Christmas
this is gonna be.
No money and no presents.

Is that all
it means to you,
money and presents?

It does when ya ain't got any.

That's a sad thing to hear
from a young man.

When you've got your
health and your friends
and your freedom,

you've got
plenty to celebrate.
Being broke ain't nothing.

You're the reason we're broke.

Well, maybe it'll teach
ya a lesson.

You've got no right
preaching to us after
what you did.

Oh, what ya did to yourselves.

Never could have got swindled
if you hadn't been so greedy.

Now, that ain't so.

Oh, yes it is. You all thought
you were gonna get
half a gold mine, didn't you?

Without even lifting a finger.

Yeah, that ain't the way
life works, boys.

All you get for nothing
is nothing.

But you had them gold bars
just dancing around in front
of your eyes, didn't ya?

If you had stopped to think
for a second, nobody could
have fooled ya.

Well, you didn't
give us a chance to think.

Ah, I've been on my own
since I was ten years old.

Been all over this country.
Run every game there is
and I'm here to tell you,

god is my witness,
I ain't never been able
to cheat a man

who deep down didn't think he
was cheating me.


He's not here.

Jorgenson, what in blazes
are you doing in there?

I got in
a ruckus with tompkins.
He says I busted up his store.

Did ya?

It was an accident, teaspoon,
I swear.

He came at me and, well,
I kinda lost my temper.

You think you could hold onto
it if I let you go home?

Oh, yes, sir, you got my word.
I don't want no more trouble.


Thanks, teaspoon,
I won't forget this.

You know a man
spends his whole life

trying to build up a business,

and then something like this

There ought to be something
you can do.

Nope, there's nothing.

He won that note from my
wholesale supplier
in Saint Joe.

It gives him the
right to take my business.

Look at there.

Got his watchdogs here
making sure I don't
steal anything.

Can't your friends
loan you something?

Nah. Hard times have
hit everybody, teaspoon,

and that's how I got in trouble.

You know giving people
a little extra credit, just
trying to help them out.

You know, tompkins,
we've had our differences

from time to time but
I've always respected ya,

and that's why I hate to see
you give up.

The town needs ya.

Tough times can bring out
the best in folks.

Maybe there's a way, I...

All I know is,
you sell things off at a loss,
you'll be finished for sure.

Nah. It'd take a miracle.

Nah, I built this whole
business up myself.

If anybody's going to
sell it off, it's going
to be me.

Ah, maybe we ought to take him
to jail first.

Never gonna live this one down.

What's going on at tompkins'?

I'll be damned!
Leo mcphalen.

See that gent there
in the fancy duds?

He's a card sharp
named mcphalen.

Aw, he's good, he can...
He can cheat you more ways
than a snake's got scales.

Sounds like someone you'd know.

I never have met the man,
but I've seen him skin more
than one sucker. Yes, sir.

Wonder what he's doing
talking to tompkins?

Well, fleecing him,
more than likely.
That's what he does.

Gets these rich businessmen
into rigged card games
and cleans 'em out.

We gotta tell tompkins, then.

Boys, wait, wait, wait. Oh!
Oh, the lord is smiling on us.

I see a way that we can
all of us get what we want.

- Oh.
- How?

We're going to beat mcphalen
at his own game.

Now you all get your money
back and I'll be on my way.

Shut up. Hap, we ain't
trusting you again.

I guarantee it'll work.
Now, I just need
a little help from ya.

Some cash, of course.

Well, maybe we oughta
ask teaspoon first.

- Teaspoon hunter?
- He's the marshal here.

Don't you say a word to him.

Me and teaspoon crossed paths
down there in Texas.

He swore he was going
to shoot me on sight
next time.

No, I'll get your money back,
I guarantee you that,

but teaspoon ain't to know
nothing about it.

Come on, let's get him
out of here.

- Hey, tompkins?
- Yeah, I'll be right
with you, sir.

Just a minute.

I'm going to buy it.

- No, you ain't.
- I saw it first.

No, you didn't.

- Tompkins.
- Yeah?

Have you got that silver belt
that I like so much?

- I sure do.
- Well, I'm buying it,

I'm buying it, and I'll
give you $20 for it.

-I'll give you 25.
-Now, just wait a minute.
Hold on.

You boys ain't got
that kind of money.

Unless you robbed the stage.

- Better.
- We struck gold.


That's right.
You know that prospector
that Jimmy helped?

He gave us half his claim
and it's worth a fortune.

- Well, I'll be.
- Hap's celebrating

over at the saloon right now,
drunk as a skunk.

And the way he's going
he's gonna gamble his half
away by sundown.

Right on, right on
the table there.

Let's make sure
we see everything.

Aw, that is good.

I'm going to buy two of them.

All right, uh,
I'm going to call.

Three Jacks.


It's only money.

That's him. The old coot.

Papa? Papa?

Oh, what are you doing here?

I'd like you to come home.

Oh, I'll come when i'm
good and ready.

One dollar.

Please. Come with me now.

Will ya quit naggin' me?

- Don't do this again.
- Oh, go on. Get outta here.

- Please, papa, I'm begging ya.
- Get out of here, I said.

Hey, hey, hey.
Be careful, now.

Mcphalen: Pardon me.
I thought you might need this.

Thank you.

I saw what happened.
That man is your father?

Mmm-hmm. I'm sorry,
I shouldn't have come here.

Oh, don't apologize.
You're his daughter,
you were worried.

Tell me what's wrong.

Well, that's real kind of you,
mister, but,

oh, I can't burden a stranger
with my troubles.

I insist. As a gentleman,
you can't expect me
to turn my back

on a beautiful young lady
in distress.

It's his gambling.

It's always been a problem, but

this time I'm afraid
he's gonna lose everything.

Well, like what?

Oh, papa's been
lookin' all his life
for the mother lode.

It about killed my mama.

And now, he's found it.
He's really found it.

But if he keeps gambling,
he's gonna lose it.

He's gonna lose it all.

Now, don't you worry.
I think I can help.

Mcphalen's going
to cheat you out of your claim
playing poker tonight

and I'm supposed to help.

He's going to give it to me
afterwards so I can help
take care of you.

Oh, I knew he couldn't resist
a pretty woman.

How are you gonna do it?

Well, I'll be standing
right behind you

and if you're bluffing
on a weak hand,
I'm supposed to hold this.

All right. Then we know
what to do.

I'm just going to let him win
until he thinks it's working

and then I'll keep raising
the stakes until he puts up
that note on tompkins' store

and that's the hand old hap
is going to win.

Where are we gonna
get the money to bet?

- Ah...
- Oh, tompkins is putting up

some of what he owes mcphalen.

But if you win,
mcphalen's going to know
that Rachel cheated him.

What if he starts shooting?


Where is everybody?

Oh! Teaspoon hunter!

What is going on?

- Nothing.
- Yeah, nothing.

Looks kind of peculiar to me.

That's enough snooping,
you're gonna spoil
your Christmas present.

My, uh, Christmas present?


And don't come in without

How many cards you want?

Aces over eights.

Ah, I ain't seen
a bad run of cards like that
in my whole life.

Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.


Deal 'em.

How is it out there?


I think I'll get me some air.

♪ Joy to the world
the lord has come

♪ let earth receive her king

♪ let every heart
prepare him room

♪ and heaven and nature sing,
and heaven and nature sing

forty-two dollars
and that cleans me out.

I guess I'm in.

I'll raise you $100.

I just told ya, I'm cleaned out.

Well, you must have something.

This here's worth
a fortune in gold.

Now, you can just ask anybody.

Oh, I trust you Mr. Happy.

I'm in.

Mcphalen: That won't cover it.

Uh, I own half that gold mine.

I call.

Yeah, well, that ain't enough.

There's another $500.

Still ain't enough.

The note on tompkins' store.

All right.

A pair of sevens.

Full house.

Cyrus happy?

I warned ya.

You killed him.

Yeah. He drew on me.

I believe his bet stands,

Looks like I won.

Not so fast.

Looks like I win.

It's four tens.

I wouldn't do that if I was you.

I already killed me
one cheat today.

I'd get out of town
before I make it two.

Merry Christmas.

Mcphalen won this by
cheating your friend.

It's only right you should
get it back.

I'll never forget
you boys for this.

I'm just terribly sorry
a man had to die because of...

What are all you looking at?

Hap was a good man, teaspoon.

He may have sidestepped
the law now and again,
but he didn't deserve to die.

Well, actually, Cody,

I couldn't agree with you more.

Me, neither.

But it sure was nice
to hear you boys
speaking so well of the dead.

Blast it, hap.
I'm tired of you dying on us!

I thought you and teaspoon
was enemies.

Well, we were
worthy adversaries.

Hap relieved me
of a month's wages.

I still haven't figured
out how you did that.

You never will.

He was going to hang me
out to dry,

but I told him about our
little scheme to get
tompkins' store back

and he just jumped
right in there.

Why'd you go to teaspoon?

Cause you don't cheat
a man like mcphalen unless
you cover your tracks.

And being dead
is pretty good cover.

Ah, how did you know
the kid was going to have
the winning hand?

Oh, I had lots of winning hands.

I had four kings in here, and...

four aces in here.

Hap told me to switch cards
during the confusion.

Well, we got
our money back and...
And hap.

It looks like it's
going to be a great
Christmas after all.

There's only one thing
that could make it any better.

I'm way ahead of you teaspoon.
C'mon boys.

Where we going?

Sleep tight, sweetheart.

It's going to be
all right. Hmm.

♪ Hark the herald
angels singing

♪ glory to the newborn king

♪ peace on
earth and mercy mild

♪ god and sinners reconciled

♪ joyful all ye nations rise

where do you want the tree?

Over here.

♪ With angelic host proclaim

Well, I'll tell ya.

It happened a long,
long time ago,

on a night like this,
in a little town
called Bethlehem.

A fellah named Joseph
and his wife Mary.

They come to town looking
for a place to stay,

'cause, well, you see Mary,
she's going to have a baby.

But they couldn't find
a room nowhere.

Not a one.

So they had to bed down
in a barn with all these
farm animals

and sure enough late that
night a little baby boy
was born.

And Mary, she wrapped
the baby in swaddling

and suddenly miraculous things
started to happen.

A great star appeared
in the sky overhead
like a beacon.

And this beautiful angel
swooped down in front
of these Shepherd fellahs.

And the angel says to them,
"behold, the savior is born."

Then the whole sky lit up
like it was the fourth of July

and heavenly voices
was singing,
"glory be to god,

"peace on earth,
goodwill toward men."

I tell ya, it was some night.

Now, that there's the reason
why we celebrate
Christmas to this day.

Merry Christmas, teaspoon.

Merry Christmas to you, hon.

Merry Christmas,
everybody. Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Boys, merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas, jorgenson.

Cyrus, you old scoundrel.

Merry Christmas to you.