The Wonder Years (2021–…): Season 1, Episode 13 - The Valentine's Day Dance - full transcript

ADULT DEAN: Every generation
of every family

wants its children to have
a better life.

For many black families
in the '60s,

a better life simply meant
being able to walk a dog

instead of being chased
by them.

For my family, a better life
meant a better education.

I talked to
your guidance counselor.

He said
that volunteering

for the Big Sister,
Little Sister program

could help your college
application stand out.

I've spent 12 years
as Dean's big sister.



Shouldn't that count towards
community service?

Spent the first two years
trying to send him back.

Kept wasting good stamps.

Well, I went to all
his stupid baseball games.

You went to one game,

and the one game
that you actually went to,

you thought
I was another kid.

You all wear
the same color shirts.

This is a good thing,
and you're doing it.

You might enjoy
having a Little Sister.

I'm sure there's an
underprivileged girl out there

who could learn a thing or two
from you.

Like what?
How to hog the bathroom?

Or how to fake-cry
to get yourself out of trouble?



Shut up, Dean.
You know, that just shows

how out of touch with women
you really are.

Hey! I'm not out of touch
with women!

Okay, now that Keisa and I
are friends again,

my three-year plan to get her
to like me is back on track.

ADULT DEAN: You poor,
delusional bastard.

Three years?
Are you out of your mind?

By then, you'll be...

"just a friend."

[both shudder]

Why?
Is being friends bad?

Girls don't fall in love
with their friends.

Yeah, my mom and dad
aren't friends at all.

Are you going to ask her to
the Valentine's Day dance?

Not as a friend?

Check this out.

Music. Dancing.

The opening refrain to
"When a Man Loves a Woman".

Then I'll reveal
my true feelings for Keisa.

Hmm.

- No?
- Don't listen to them, Dean.

I'm on the dance's planning
committee,

and this year's theme
will be perfect for your plan.

I could tell you
the theme now,

but I'd hate to
give away the surprise.

Fine, it's "Under The Sea."
Happy?

[all chuckle]

[♪]

[exhales sharply]
There she is.

Here goes nothing.

Not just a friend.

Not just a friend.

- Hey, you wanna race?
- Um, n-no.

Don't worry.
I'll give you a head start.

That's not why.

Then why not?

Uh, because I race with Cory
and Brad and those guys

all the time, and, uh, you and I
can do other stuff.

Like, I don't know,
maybe...

Wait, you don't want to race me
because I'm a girl?

Well, kinda, yeah.

I throw better than you.

- So?
- I kick the ball

- better than you.
- Okay.

We don't have time
to go through the whole list.

C'mon, let's race.

On your mark, get set...

[school bell rings]

- [sighs]
- Dang.

I was just about to
beat you, too.

Do you want me
to carry your books?

Do you want me
to carry yours?

A-Allow me.

Anyway, so, uh, Keisa,
I was wondering,

do you have any plans
for the...

Oh, I almost forgot.

My parents signed me up
for Big Sister, Little Sister,

and I picked Kim
as my mentor.

What?
Wait, my sister?

- Why would you do that?
- I don't know.

Whenever I saw your sister
with you,

she always seemed
so cool.

ADULT DEAN:
Keisa thought Kim was cool?

Maybe she wasn't as smart
as I always thought.

She even invited me over
after school today to meet.

So, guess I'll see you
at your house later?

Right. My house.
[chuckles nervously]

So, what'd you want to
ask me?

N-Nothing.
N-Nothing.

ADULT DEAN: Wait, she's
gonna be in my house?!

With my sister?!

Hey. You got my books,
remember?

[♪]

Kim,
please promise

that you won't do anything
to embarrass me

when my friend Keisa
comes over.

Oh, it's that Keisa?

Sure, I won't even
mention you.

I'll leave the embarrassing part
up to you.

Great. Thanks.

ADULT DEAN: With Kim on my side
now, I just had to ensure

my home field was wiped clean
of any other embarrassments...

Like a naked photo of me
as a baby.

[♪]

And another... Did my parents
ever bother to dress me?

Even the pictures
I drew of myself were naked.

What kind of a freak was I?

Great.
Nothing embarrassing left.

[♪]

[doorbell rings]

[sighs] Okay.

[sighs]

Hey, Keisa.

Sorry, I completely forgot
you were coming.

Uh, c'mon in.

LILLIAN: Dean! Why is your
dinosaur underwear in the oven?!

[♪]

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ And I know ♪

♪ Ohh ♪
*THE WONDER YEARS (2021)*

♪ Through the highs
and the lows ♪

♪ I'mma find my way home ♪
Season 01 Episode 13

Episode Title: "The Valentine's Day Dance"
Aired on: February 02, 2022.

So, do you have
any brothers and sisters?

Yeah, I do.
I have a older brother.

This is actually
his jacket.

Oh. Well, how are you liking
school this year?

It's been fun.
I have a lot of fun classes.

DEAN: [strains]
Don't mind me.

Just... phew...
Gettin' in my daily pump.

[grunts] Yeah.

One million and one,
one million and two...

Hey, Keisa, look...
I'm about to set a new record.

Okay, I know
what this is about.

ADULT DEAN: Uh-oh.

Dean is clearly jealous

that I'm spending time with you
instead of him.

ADULT DEAN: The one time
I've ever benefited

from Kim's narcissism.

C'mon,
let's go to my room.

[♪]

ADULT DEAN: As they entered
the abyss that was Kim's room,

I knew I'd have to wait before
I got my moment alone

with Keisa to ask her to
the dance.

So, Keisa...

will you go
to the dance with me?

No.

So, Keisa...

will you, uh, go to the dance
with me?

Keisa.

Will you go to
the dance with me?

Nailed it.

[girls laughing in distance]

ADULT DEAN:
I knew I shouldn't eavesdrop,

but I couldn't resist
the temptation.

For all I knew,
they could be talking about

how much Keisa liked me.

This closet
is outta sight.

I wish I had clothes
this cool.

Where do
you like to shop?

You know,
like, wherever.

Two words... swap meet.

- Wow, really?
- Mm-hmm.

They got great stuff.
We should go this weekend.

We only buy new clothes
when school starts.

Gotcha.

Sometimes, my mom makes
my clothes.

- Do you like that?
- No.

[laughs]
I didn't think so.

She wants me to dress all girly,
like her.

Mm. Some things
you can always count on...

Like mothers having different
tastes than their daughters.

And...

♪ All right ♪

- DEAN: Ah!
- [laughs]

And little brothers
being creeps.

♪ Yeah-yeah, yeah-yeah ♪

Maybe you don't have to wait
until next school year.

Believe it or not,
I was your size once.

[♪]

ADULT DEAN: At dinner,
I eagerly awaited

- my opportunity.
- BILL: What's the matter, boy?

- You okay?
- What do you mean?

You aren't feeling constipated
again, are you?

KIM: Sorry for the wait.

We just wanted to freshen up
before dinner.

ADULT DEAN: I didn't think
Keisa could get

any more beautiful,
but, boy, was I wrong.

Nothing in the world
could give me the confidence

to talk to someone
that gorgeous.

Keisa,
you look lovely.

DEAN:
Yes, very... lovely.

Very in-indeed.

He ain't right.

ADULT DEAN: Then the worst
thing in the world happened.

Mama and Daddy's parental
intuition kicked in,

and they figured out
I had feelings for Keisa.

Dean, doesn't Keisa
look pretty?

Uh... Uh...
Uh... Uh...

Say something.

I-I-I... What I was going to say
is, I like dresses.

O... I mean,
I-I like that dress.

O-On you.
Pretty.

Stop saying something.

Dean, didn't you mention
something about

a dance
at your school?

Uh, well, I, uh...

Haven't I seen you practicing
your Hully Gully in the mirror?

He's a bad man
on the dance floor.

Sweepin' or moppin'?
[laughs]

But school dances
are solid.

- Are you going?
- Oh, I can't.

My parents won't let me
date boys until I'm older.

Ugh, I remember
those stupid rules.

They aren't stupid.
I respect her parents for that.

Boys ain't nothin'
but trouble.

Be cool.

[♪]

Father...

ADULT DEAN:
Jesus, please kill me.

Dang, man,
you missed your shot.

Now every guy's
gonna be asking her.

That there's
an eighth-grade boy, too.

They already have
their man voices.

- You're doomed.
- Doesn't matter.

Her parents won't let her go
to the dance anyway.

My parents have
the same rule,

but they're okay
with me going to the dance

as part of the committee.

[gasps] Hampton,
that's a great idea.

Hey, Keisa.

ADULT DEAN: My mind had never
worked so fast.

- Hey, what's up?
- I was thinking about

what you said
about your parents

saying you couldn't go
to the dance,

but how you really wanted
to go.

And then I realized
that Hampton and I

are on
the dance committee.

We are?

Yes. We are.

Right. We are.

You should join.

Then we... I mean,
you can go to the dance.

ADULT DEAN:
While Hampton secretly prayed

for forgiveness for lying,
I prayed for a miracle.

Oh, got it.
Sounds like fun.

I'll ask my parents after school
if I can join.

Thanks for the idea.
See ya.

- Hampton, that was amazing!
- What did I do?

If Keisa joins the committee,
she can still go to the dance,

and I can still reveal
my true feelings to her.

It's perfect.

[laughs]

Oh.
Y'all are serious?

Well, y'all two
have fun with that.

[scoffs]

PERRY:
Hey, Little Man.

ADULT DEAN: Perry Barlow...
The most perfect boy

in all of junior high.

Man, he had it all.

So, what's the deal
with that girl

you was talking to
back there?

Anyone taking her
to the dance yet?

ADULT DEAN:
Nice try, Perry,

but only a man with a plan
can get to Keisa.

Sorry, her parents
won't let her date boys.

They're real religious.

Got it.
Thanks for the skinny.

[♪]

ADULT DEAN:
Keisa's parents decided

she could join the committee,

but they still wanted her under
their watchful eye

if she was going to work
after school with boys.

Great job on
those waves, Keisa.

You clearly studied
the references

I gave you
this morning.

Look, guys!
I'm a walrus!

- Arr-arr-arr-arr-arr-arr!
- [laughter]

If you're gonna play around,
use a flat-top,

not our Filberts.

ADULT DEAN:
Everything was going to plan.

[doorbell rings]

What in the Barlow
is he doing here?

Hello. Are you
Keisa's mother?

I am.
And you are?

My name
is Perry Barlow.

I go to school
with your daughter.

May I please speak
with your husband?

Lucious, there's a young man
from Keisa's school at the door.

Sorry.
We don't want anything.

PERRY: Oh, I'm not
selling anything, sir.

I'm here because there's
a Valentine's Day dance

coming up at school, and I'd
like to ask for your permission

to go to the dance
with your daughter.

ADULT DEAN: Uh-oh, kid.
You're in for it now.

I understand
you have concerns

with your daughter
going out with a boy,

so I wanted to speak with you
face-to-face.

My father, Dr. Barlow,
will be taking us.

He drives
a 1964 Lincoln Continental.

Keisa will be home by 10:00,
or even earlier, if you'd like.

If you have any questions
about me,

I believe you know
Reverend Tucker?

I babysit his children.

Well,
you're right, son.

It is our rule that Keisa
can't date

until she turns
at least 13.

But you seem like
a polite young man,

and it's nice to see kids that
are respectful to their elders

and know how
to talk to grown folk.

- Good teeth, too.
- Thank you.

- I noticed that.
- Mm.

Maybe we'll leave it
up to Keisa to decide.

Keisa! There's a young man
that want to ask you something.

Keisa, will you go
to the dance with me?

Yes, I'd love that.

PERRY: Great. I'll be here
by 7:00 to pick you up.

I can't wait.
Thank you.

ADULT DEAN:
I understood why her parents

would fall for his charade,

but I couldn't believe
Keisa fell for it, too.

Why would she want to go
to the dance with that guy?

Just because he was tall and
handsome and loved the Lord.

[sighs]
Who was I kidding?

I would have loved
for my daughter

to have dated someone
like Perry Barlow.

So, guess I can't be a part
of the committee anymore.

But don't worry, I'll still help
you guys finish up tonight.

It's getting late.
Y'all need to be going.

Keisa, c'mon.

Sorry, guys.

Poor Keisa.

Can you believe she's gonna
miss out on all this fun?

[♪]

[sighs]

My man.
First dance tonight.

You know what? Your curfew's
extended until 10:00.

- Cool.
- You meeting Keisa there,

or are you guys
picking her up?

Actually, I'm not going
with Keisa.

I never asked her,
and now she's going

- with an eighth grader.
- Then who are you going with?

I'm on
the planning committee.

[sighs]
Be home by 8:00.

- [laughs]
- Don't laugh.

This is all your fault
for giving Keisa a makeover.

Now all the other guys
like her.

Do you have a problem with a
girl feeling good about herself

and not being dependent on you
for her self-esteem?

No.

Well, all I did was give Keisa
a dress and a bit of makeup.

As her friend,
you should be happy for her.

Okay. I don't have time
for this, all right?

Hampton asked me to go
to the drug store

and get him some
last-minute decorations.

Apparently, our ocean backdrop
isn't turquoise enough

to match the Atlantic.

[door opens, closes]

[♪]

- Hey, Dean.
- ADULT DEAN: Perfect.

As if I hadn't been
embarrassed enough already.

Hey, Keisa.
What are you doing here?

Oh, just looking for
some stuff.

But I couldn't find it.

ADULT DEAN: Wow. She couldn't
even look me in the eye

after what she did to me.

Must have been
her guilty conscience.

- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.

C'mon,
I'll walk you out.

STORE CLERK:
Stop right there.

I saw you steal
that makeup.

- What are you talking about?
- What?

She would never
do something like that.

What's this?

You're both
coming with me.

Let's go.

[♪]

Okay.

You two sit here and wait
for your parents to show up.

[sighs]
I'm sorry.

I don't get it.
W-Why were you stealing?

Was it 'cause of
the money?

ADULT DEAN: All of the years
I'd known Keisa,

I didn't notice that she never
wore new clothes

or always had to borrow
my comic books

instead of buying her own.

People kept saying the new
things made me look pretty.

Well...

I-I always thought you were
pretty the way you were.

[sighs]

My dad's gonna kill me
when he finds out.

[crying]

[♪]

[♪]

[♪]

STORE CLERK:
They're right back here.

Caught the girl stealing makeup.
The boy served as a decoy.

[sighs]

[♪]

Let's go.

I am so incredibly sorry for
what they put you through today.

I assure you, they'll
get a thorough talking-to

when we go home.
Come on, let's go.

Whoa. I c... I can't let two kids
go with another kid.

They can either wait for
their parents or the police.

Sir, I really appreciate
your concern,

but our parents
will be working late.

I can save you
the trouble.

They'll just have to
wait, then.

ADULT DEAN:
As Kim fought to get us out,

it became clear to me that,
in a way,

she felt responsible
for what had happened.

When this started, it was just
a line on a college résumé.

But now she realized she was
in over her head,

and it was her job
to make this right.

[sobbing]
This is all my fault.

I was responsible
for them today,

and I wasn't paying
enough attention.

And now look at them.
They're felons.

[sobbing] Our parents work so
hard to keep us out of trouble,

and they were relying on me
to be a good big sister.

But instead,
I disappointed everyone.

ADULT DEAN: Now I had seen
enough of Kim's fake tears

to know what she was doing,
but everyone else seemed to be

buying it, so I was fine just
shutting up and nodding along.

I'll be happy to pay
for what they took.

- [sniffles]
- Fine.

But y'all are never allowed back
in this store again.

- You hear me?
- Thank you

for understanding, sir.

[♪]

Thank you, Kim.

Were my parents mad
when you told them?

Girl, I didn't tell anyone
anything.

So, Mom and Dad don't know
about this, either.

Nope. I just pretended
to be Mom on the phone

when the store clerk
called.

- They have no idea.
- Thanks.

But that doesn't mean
I can't tell them later

about what you did.

Please don't punish Dean.

He didn't do
anything wrong.

This is all my fault.

This probably means
you won't be my Big Sister

anymore, doesn't it?

No. This doesn't change
anything.

Just, next time you need
something,

make sure
you come to me.

It's what big sisters
are for.

But don't you ever
do that again.

[♪]

[♪]

ADULT DEAN: Kim saved us
from real trouble that day.

That was the first time
I remembered being thankful

to have a big sister.

Thank you, Kim.
It was really cool

how you fooled
that guy back there.

You're welcome.

And by the way, strong women
should never resort to crying

unless no one was there
to see it.

Right?

Oh... Oh.

Now c'mon.

Dance starts in two hours,
and you gotta get ready.

And, Dean, you need
a bath bad.

[engine starts]

[Dicky & Billy's
"I've Got a Feeling" plays]

[♪]

[♪]

♪ I love you, girl ♪

♪ Don't you understand? ♪

Have fun.

CHARLENE:
Well, look who it is.

Hi, Dean.
Nice to see you again.

Uh, have you met
my boyfriend?

[♪]

Anyway, it looks like
you have a busy night,

so we won't keep you.

We'll just be off, you know,
movin' and groovin'.

[♪]

Ah, isn't it magical?

All of our hard work
has finally paid off,

and you've got the best job
in the house.

You get to see everyone's faces
as they first lay eyes

on our underwater fantasy.

"Fanta-sea."

That would have been
a good one.

ADULT DEAN: Hampton was right.

As crazy and exhausting as the
last couple of days had been,

tonight was turning out to be
not so bad after all.

Hey, Little Man.

ADULT DEAN: Until now.

- Hey, Dean.
- Hey, Keisa.

You really did a great job
with these decorations.

Thanks.

Hope you dance
your socks off.

Wanna race?

♪ You don't know how many times
I've wished ♪

♪ That I had told you ♪

Thanks again for your help,
Little Man.

♪ You don't know how many times
I've wished ♪

♪ That I could hold you ♪

♪ You don't know how many times
I've wished ♪

♪ That I could mold you
into someone ♪

♪ Who could cherish me
as much as I ♪

♪ Cherish you ♪

- ♪ And I do ♪
- [indistinct conversation]

Let's go.

♪ Cherish you ♪

♪ And I do ♪

ADULT DEAN: The sad part was,

as I looked around the gym
that night,

I realized my plan
had been a good one.

This dance was
the perfect place

to tell Keisa
how I felt about her.

The back room at the drug store
wasn't nearly as romantic

or picturesque as this,

but I couldn't deny
that we did have a moment.

And maybe that was better than
whatever this could have been.

♪ When a man loves a woman ♪

ADULT DEAN: Nope. Never mind.
It wasn't.

But the good thing about
the long game is, it's long.

There's been a spill
by the punch bowl,

and that hardwood
is warping fast.

If you can lean,
you can clean.

Oh, don't take that turtle!
It's for the raffle!

♪ Turn his back
on his best friend ♪

♪ If he puts her down ♪

♪ Yes, when a man
loves a woman ♪

♪ I know exactly how he feels ♪

Captioned by VITAC...