The Wild Wild West (1965–1969): Season 1, Episode 19 - The Night of the Flaming Ghost - full transcript

No, Mr. West, he
didn't say a word.

Of course, by the
time I get to them,

it's usually too late for talk.

Can you get the body
ready to go to Washington?

Washington?

Hey, he must have
been mighty important.

Where'd you say I could
find that Torrey woman?

Over at the Golden Bird.

If you ask me,

a woman like that... Thank you.

I wonder who he really was.



Oh.

♪ 'Tis sad when you think ♪

♪ Of her wasted life ♪

♪ For youth cannot mate ♪

♪ With age ♪

Whiskey.

♪ And her beauty was sold ♪

♪ For an old man's gold ♪

♪ She's a bird ♪

♪ In a gilded cage ♪

Hi. Hi.

You look lonesome.
Care for some company?

If your name's Torrey Elder.

You're not even close.



But if you want Torrey,
she's at the table back there.

Thank you.

Hey, if you need a
Linda, look me up.

I'll do that, Linda.

Torrey?

You want something, mister?

I just left Brad
Dorman at the morgue.

Oh, I thought that would
mean something to you.

What's it to you, anyway?

Well, I thought maybe he may
have mentioned my name, West.

It's James West.

West, West.

Yes, there was something.

Come here.

He said if anything
happened, you were to get this.

He wanted me to have a song?

That's right. He'd been
working on it for quite a while.

I hope it's not how
he made his living

'cause it's not very
good, but I'll sing it for you.

Joe, come here and
play this, will you?

♪ He's hangin' around
The spoonin' tree ♪

♪ He's hangin'
around Impatiently ♪

♪ Just a... ♪

What's going on?

Looks like someone doesn't
want you to sing their song.

But why?

That's what I'm
gonna have to find out.

Mr. West, won't you tell
me what this is all about?

May I help you on the stage?

At least tell me this:

Was Brad mixed up
in anything illegal?

Is that why he was killed?

I'll tell you one thing,

he was killed by a traitor
while serving his country.

Williams.

Yes, sir.

I don't anticipate any trouble,

but ride with this girl
to Tucson anyway.

Yes, sir. Thank you.

Goodbye, Torrey.

Hyah.

A traitor? In the
Secret Service?

We're pretty sure of it.

But what makes you think
that there's a clue in that song?

When one of our best agents

goes after a
traitor and is killed

and all he leaves
behind is a song,

we can be pretty sure
that there's a clue in it.

Must be Jim. Come on.

Oh, how do you
do? I'm James West.

Myra Bates, Mr. West. Pleasure.

Myra works for Colonel
Sharp in the regional office.

She's here helping me
gather some information.

Anything on your tests?

Well, we know what
kind of ink he used.

We know the grade of paper.

We even know the
manufacturer's name.

Evergood and Lehman of
Oregon. It's their number three bond.

We've wired them asking
for a list of local purchasers,

but if there's a
message in this song,

I can't find it.

Swell, we're just
back where we started.

You think Professor
Montague could help us?

Montague?

Isn't he the big brain at
the academy in Denver?

If anyone can break a
code, he'd be the one.

I caught some of that.

It's the local
purchasers of the paper.

Wilson and sons,

Boulder, Colorado.

Wicks

and Johnson

publishers,

Denver.

Janus

music company,

Eden,

Colorado.

Janus music company.

Janus,

as in the ancient two-faced god.

Of Eden, Colorado.

Eden.

The Garden of Eden!

The Janus music company
is a likely place for me to call.

While you're doing that,

I'm gonna take this to Montague

and see if he can
find something in it.

Give him my best, and if he can,

he's a better man than I am.

You said that, Jeremy, not I.

Myra, it's been a pleasure. Bye.

Myra,

where's the copy we
made of that song?

It's in the lab car.

Thank you.

Hello.

My name's James West.
I'm here to see Mr. Montague.

My credentials.

Yes, sir, Mr. West.
Straight through that door,

then the door at the
end of the hallway.

I know.

Gentlemen.

James West.

Now you've seen
Jim West in action.

I trust you all
learned something

from the way he disarmed
the assailant with the knife,

and then dispatched
the man with the gun.

He managed to overcome them all.

Learn your lessons
well, gentlemen.

Jim, you seem better than ever.

Another little demonstration
for your students, Mr. Blessing.

Well, they don't often have
the opportunity to observe

one of the masters of
the trade, so to speak.

Thank you, gentlemen.

Remember, early
classes tomorrow.

I hope you'll forgive me, Jim.

When I got your wire
saying you were coming,

I couldn't resist dreaming
up this little surprise.

Knowing you, sir, I
should have expected it,

but don't you think that was
playing it a little too close?

I don't follow you.

Don't you think it's pushing
my luck using real bullets?

Real bullets? Of course
not. They were blanks.

I think not.

Put a rather neat
hole in my coat.

You were hit?

Just nicked me, really. I
don't even need treatment.

How are you, Jim?

Well, I'm fine, Alan.

I'm sorry to see you again
under these circumstances,

but how've you been?

Yeah, I've worked my way up

to Mr. Blessing's assistant now.

I don't understand.

I supervised the
loading of the gun myself.

A little souvenir for you, Alan.

If I were you, sir, I'd
check those blanks again.

I've known
Mr. Dorman a long time.

He's a good man
and an old friend.

He told me that
someone would come in

with a sheet of music like this,

and when he did, I
was to give him this.

Designed and built
the works himself.

Well, anyway, he told me to
give it to you. That's all I know.

Oh, wouldn't you know?

The store is closed at
this hour of the night.

Stop doing that
there! We're closed!

Jim, I know if you're
listening to this,

you haven't found
the code in the music,

and it's too late for me.

I can only hope that this
reaches you before the 18th

because after
that, it'll be too late.

That's the big date.

I found out who
the traitor is...

All right. Hand it over.

I-I just came in here to have
my glockenspiel repaired,

I could come back later.

Really, I could come back later.

I...

Huh.

The pouch, give it to me.

What, y-you mean, this pouch?

That's right. The
pouch. Give to me.

Well, if that's what you want,

all right.

Quick! After him!

Come in.

Here are the rest
of the files, sir.

Thank you, Thompson.

These are the last, Jim.

The traitor can't
be anyone here.

Secret Service men are
too carefully screened.

Someone substituted
a real bullet for a blank

in the training room.

Somewhere in this organization

there's a man who
could destroy the service,

and the longer he's free,

the more difficult it's
going to be to capture him.

Yes.

Mr. Blessing,

Professor Montague has returned.

And he's waiting for
Mr. West in the shop.

Thank you. We'll be right down.

Just right. Just right.
Just the right timing.

Now, if that had
been the real gas,

you men would be
asleep in seconds.

Yes. Well, perhaps I did get
a little bit too much that time.

But anyway, as
for the wine itself,

it's delicious.

Absolutely delicious.

A little bit dry perhaps,
but, well, that's life.

Now, I have another little
device here somewhere.

Oh, what's that?
Another interruption?

If James Watt had
all these interruptions,

we still wouldn't
have the locomotive.

Ah, here it is.

Jim.

Jim West.

Professor, it's a pleasure.

Come down to see some
of my little toys, have you?

Yes, sir, I have.

I got some dandies
here, all the latest ones.

Even a fighter like you
can use the latest ones.

Now, look here,

at the base a little barrel.

And this button.

That's very interesting, sir,

but would you take
a look at this please?

That'll be all for today.

This must be very
important, James.

"Two Faced Stranger
In The Garden."

Hmm.

Oh, no. I-I don't think I
could do justice to this.

My voice isn't
what it used to be.

Well, that's not exactly
what I had in mind.

The song was given to
Mr. West by one of our agents.

He thinks that there's
a code in it somewhere.

A code?

Oh, excellent, excellent.
I'll get right on to it.

A few hours and
I'll have it for you.

We've got a meeting

at the intelligence
division at the capital.

We'll be back as
soon as possible.

Good, good, good.

Oh, Jim. Uh, if
you get a chance,

take a look at my living room.

At your living room,
professor? I'll do that.

I'd have thought the
intelligence division

could have been
a bit more helpful.

Well, they may come
up with something.

It was worth a try.

I'll be glad the day they
finish this construction.

Well, that's progress. At
the rate Denver is growing,

it's a wonder every
street in town isn't torn up.

So that's where they
print Uncle Sam's money.

Novel setup, isn't it? Something
Montague came up with.

Everyone who enters
the engraving section

must have his hand
stamped with a special ink.

It only shows under that lamp.

No one can enter or
leave without that stamp on.

Thank you.

Mr. Blessing, I... I thought
you were at a meeting.

So I was.

I brought a message in
from, uh... From Washington.

I put in on your desk.

Thank you, Thompson.

That's all.

Yes, sir.

I'll be right with you.

What the devil?

Is there a problem, sir?

Just an additional hindrance.

"Baron Klaus Esterhauser
of the Estavian army

"will arrive at the academy
as guest of Washington

"on an information
exchange tour.

"Please show him every courtesy.

Signed, James
Richmond, colonel."

Fine time for visitors.

Well, that's a
front-office problem, sir.

Now, if you'll excuse
me, I want to see

if Professor Montague's
making any progress.

Do you think it's wise
for you to move around

so freely, Jim?

The traitor tried
to get you once.

There's a good chance
he could try again.

Well, you'd think
so, wouldn't you?

Oh, I see.

Well, you mind if I
accompany you part of the way?

Come on.

Well, here's where
I leave you, Jim.

See you later. On
second thought,

you remember
Montague's living room?

Mm-hm. Well, this is it.

Why don't you
come in for a minute?

Fine.

Now, you all know the problem.
The documents have been stolen.

You must retrieve them and
put in their place the duplicates.

Now, the house
is heavily guarded,

and if you are discovered,
it means your death.

Now, gentlemen,
I think we're ready

for a little practical
application.

Stevens? STEVENS: Sir?

In order to simplify matters,
let's assume that you know

that behind that
landscape painting is a safe.

Now, you'll enter from the door.

Remember, time is against you.

You're dead.

Heller, take over.

Sure.

We may have to
send for more students.

Thomas.

Yes, sir.

Well, Thomas, that's
an improvement.

Thank you, sir.

Really excellent.
You can relax now.

Never forget, never relax.

It could be your death warrant.

Exactly so and very well put.

A lesson you must learn.

It rather puts me in mind

of the affair of the
queen's missing necklace,

a bauble, it seems,

that she left behind after her,

shall we say, platonic meeting

with the infamous
Baron of Drobnick.

Naturally, who
should she turn to

in her hour of need but myself?

You see, in these cases,

discretion is more
important than valor.

Well, it was a rather simple
matter to scale the walls,

the guards were
disposed of in a moment,

and then I found myself

in the very heart of his castle.

Thank you, baron,

but the men must
continue with their classes.

Ah, if you say so, Mr. Blessing.

I'll only thought that perhaps

through the benefit
of my experience...

Perhaps at some later date.

Ah, you Americans
always so rush, rush, rush.

You may now show
me to my quarters.

I have an appointment in Denver,

and I wish to change for it.

Hmm, bit of a
pompous fool, isn't he?

Yes, isn't he?

Is it possible...

No, no, no, no, no.
That doesn't do it.

That doesn't do it at all.

But I haven't given up yet.

Have you been able to break
the music down, professor?

The music? Oh.

♪ Da-dum, da, da-dum
Da, dum, da-dum ♪

Hmm, catchy little tune.

No, there's nothing
in the music.

This is a sticky one.

Dorman was one of
the really clever fellows.

Professor, we don't
have much time.

Jim, have you seen
this? Notice his rifle.

Ka-blam!

Professor, if there is a
message in that song,

I must have it now, sir.

Oh. You're right.
Absolutely right.

No time to stand
around and gossip.

Now, if we start all over again,

and we assign a numerical
value to each of the letters

and then subtract
it either from 26

or from the number
of letters in the title,

we may find that there's a
cryptogram within the code.

In which case, it may
be a little more difficult,

but it'd be infinitely
more interesting.

Now...

Before the 18th,
because after that

it will be too late.
That's the big date.

I found out who the traitor is.

The traitor is...
The traitor is...

Traitor is...

That's it.

The rest of it was
shattered when I escaped.

The 18th.

Why the 18th? I don't know.

I've checked all the
information that I could find.

Nothing out of the
ordinary is happening.

No big gold shipments,
no big meetings,

nothing.

Well, whatever is
going to happen,

it's gonna happen tomorrow.

Any word from Montague?

Come in.

Mr. West?

I'm James West.

I have a message for
you from Mr. Blessing.

Oh, Thank you
very much. Yes, sir.

So?

"Jim, meet me at my office.

Have important information
on the traitor. Blessing."

I better get back to the
academy. You coming?

The good baron is
supposed to be visiting friends,

so I won't be missed.

I want to play around
with this some more.

Check with you later.

♪ He's hangin' around ♪

♪ The spoonin' tree ♪

♪ He's hangin' around ♪

♪ Impatiently ♪

♪
He's hangin' around ♪

♪ The spoonin' tree ♪

♪ He's hangin' around ♪

♪ Impatiently ♪

There you go. Thank you.

Okay, Mr. West.

Mr. Blessing.

Mr. Blessing?

Agh!

Agh!

You are familiar with
this room, Mr. West.

It's called the living room.

But tonight, it may
be the dying room.

There are no chalk bullets,
no talcum explosions.

Your next false
step will be your last.

That's it.

I certainly didn't
send you that note.

Well, I realize that,

but what are you doing
to find out who did, sir?

That, uh... That's
good enough for now.

Our handwriting experts
are checking it out.

How long do you think
that's going to take?

Less time, I hope,
than it takes to eat

in one of your
ghastly restaurants.

The experience was unbearable.

And if I may offer a word
of advice, Mr. Blessing,

I think that you ought to
keep your office a trifle neater.

After all, you never know
when visitors will come by.

But I have not had the pleasure

of meeting this gentleman.

This is James West.
Baron Klaus Esterhauser.

How do you do?

And now, if you will excuse
me, baron, I'm quite busy.

Well, then I will not ask
you to share a bottle with me.

Ah, Mr. West, perhaps you?

By all means.

Well, I have in my quarters

a bottle of rare Estavian wine.

I think that you will find it

quite interesting.

Mr. Blessing,

while we are gone, perhaps
you can do something

about this office.

Was that some of your handiwork?

What about this wine,

that I'm gonna find
it so interesting?

You never know who
might come looking.

Listen to this.

So?

Now listen to it this way.

Morse code.

"The 18th.

The bureau."

Jeremy, now we
know what they're after.

The Bureau of
Engraving on the 18th.

But we still don't know who,

we don't know why the 18th,

and what's more important,
we don't know how.

There's no place to
go for reinforcements.

And we don't know who we
can trust at our own academy.

And there's no chance to
bring anybody else in by then.

Or rather, I should say, by now.

It's after midnight.
It's already the 18th.

The 18th.

It's been right in front
of both of us all the time.

And by the 19th,

there won't be any way
to get into the sewers.

Absolutely impossible.

I tell you, I have no
authority to allow it.

But, my dear Blessing, I insist.

My people are most
interested in the functions

of your Bureau of Engraving.

Baron,

I was instructed to
give you free reign,

but I have no
authority to allow this.

President Grant himself.

Then you recognize
the signature.

It gives me entrée

into all the federal facilities.

Now, if there is nothing else,

I should like to get started!

Well, Thompson here will
have to accompany you.

That, I must insist upon.

Of course. Of course.

Come along then, Thompson.

Your left hand.

Your left hand.

I was told that the
bureau operated

around the clock.

No, it's pretty
quiet here at night.

So I see.

Wait. Wait.

I would like to see this room.

Something is...

Good evening, gentlemen.

Get them out of sight.

Hurry. We've only
got a few more hours.

This is an arrest.

Move to the back of the room,

get your hands in the air.

Up! Up!

West, I'm in a position
where you cannot shoot me,

and I have a gun trained
on Baron Esterhauser.

If you care nothing
for your own life,

consider how difficult
his death would be

to explain to General Grant.

Drop it.

Hello, Alan.

Well, you're a better
man than I imagined, Jim.

I didn't think even
you would get this far.

Get back to work.

Just silence? No curiosity?

No marvel at my plans?

I'm glad you recovered
from your bullet wound, Alan.

You know, that was genius.

Real bullet, a little
blood on the sleeve.

It took you off
the suspect list,

but just for a while.

Is that all? No other questions?

I've got one question, Alan.

What's that?

Why?

It would never occur
to you, would it, Jim?

No, everything just
seemed to come your way.

You have no idea
what I've been through.

After many years of
being just an instructor,

I finally worked my way up to
becoming Blessing's assistant.

A desk job for life,

a two-dollar raise every year.

And just a couple of hundred
feet away, all that money.

I never, ever stopped
thinking about it.

And I finally worked
out a way to get it,

and I was just
rounding up my crew

when that fool Dorman

stumbled upon us
in Jackson Bend.

So naturally, I had to
get rid of him, didn't I?

You know, the funny thing is,

it's all so simple.

We just print up

all this perfectly
legitimate money tonight,

and then we turn
the counters back.

Tomorrow, they'd print up
the same numbered bills.

Only, who's to prove which
is the real money, huh?

You see, no one will ever know

that there are two
bills for every number.

Ha, look how smooth it
went, huh? How faultlessly.

H-hey, tell me, you're...

You're the
brilliant field agent.

How would you have
accomplished it, huh?

Oh, I could think of a way.

What's that?

Everyone that
goes into the bureau

has to have their hand stamped.

Now, it just might be
possible to inject a drug

onto the hand
while being stamped.

And while everyone's
unconscious,

you and your men come
in through the sewers.

It's called Korodin.

It works deep into the skin.
It takes effect very quickly.

And once the effect wears off,

no one is any
worse for the wear.

Well,

all good things
must come to an end.

As much as it pains me,

I think that I'll sleep
much better tonight

if I know that you're
out of the way.

Boy, he sure wasn't a piker,

printing $100 bills.

Jeremy, there's one thing,

you did go through the
main entrance, didn't you?

Well, then you had
to be stamped, right?

Why aren't you out?

I meant to compliment you, Jim.

Your theory about the hand
stamp drugging was right.

I happened to have
the same thought myself

so...

This kept the drug from me.

We ought to do something
about all this money.

Ah, well, it's, uh, all illegal,

so it's going to
have to be burned.

I was afraid you'd say that.

Oh, do you, uh, want a smoke?

Thanks.

You know what you got, Jim?

Style.

Real

style.