The West Wing (1999–2006): Season 4, Episode 8 - Process Stories - full transcript

Sam finds himself in a tricky position after the election in Orange County takes an unexpected turn. Toby and his ex-wife also find themselves in a delicate position, but decidedly one of their own making. And CJ tracks down the self aggrandizing source of some Process Stories.

Previously on The West Wing:

Last week, I went to see
a guy named Will Bailey.

He ran Horton Wilde's campaign
in Orange County.

His widow wanted to know
what Democrat...

...was gonna stand in
for her husband should he win.

- And I said...
- You're kidding.

Something weird's going on.
We're winning.

We've got news.

- What?
- You're gonna win New Hampshire.

CBS is ready to declare Delaware,
with its three electoral votes...

... for President Bartlet.

Horton Wilde, who's dead,
is losing by 88 votes.

Plus, there was an actual storm.

We're gonna be up all night with
these. It's gonna be fun.

God bless you all. God bless
the United States of America.

And we still have, I wanna
remind our viewers...

... three House races undecided,
as we've been reporting.

Those would be Tennessee 2nd,
the New York 22nd...

... and the race that's been dubbed
"Lazarus 47" in some circles...

... the race for California 's
47th Congressional District...

... between the six-term incumbent,
Republican Chuck Webb...

... and Democrat Horton Wilde, who
passed away some three weeks ago...

... but whose name remains on the ballot.

George, which is stranger...

... that a Democrat is competitive
in Orange County...

... or that the Democrat
in question is...

... I don 't mean to make light of this of
course, but the candidate passed away.

They're both pretty strange, Julie...

... but for a Democrat to win
in the 47th...

... he's going to have to have something
going for him, and this was it.

Martin, how important were the
candidates ' performances in the debate?

I'll tell you. The day before the debate,
the president held a three-point lead.

That's within the margin of error,
a statistical tie.

Among those who were undecided...

... seventy-three percent made up
their mind based on the debates...

... and 69 percent of that population
went for the president.

-That's how the president won.
-That's how the president won.

-What is Governor Ritchie thinking?

He said...
What he said was this, he said:

"A probable impossibility is preferable
to an improbable possibility."

The impossible is preferable
to the improbable.

What did he mean?
He meant it's okay to sing and dance...

...but you shouldn't turn on the radio,
hear the news report.

- You want some cake?
- No.

You sure?

- What kind?
- Cake.

- They have flavors.
- I don't know.

It was a confluence of events.
If you pitched it... a Hollywood producer,
they'd tell you that Aristotle says:

"A probable impossibility is preferable
to an improbable possibility."

Doesn't sound like them,
but I understand.

Midwest, the RNC exits...

...a dead candidate, a rainstorm.

- It's Aristotle all over the place.
- I'm gonna turn these off.

Head down to the party.
Everyone's asking for you.

- You really don't know what kind of...?
- It's cake. It's cake.

When I talked to the woman...

...she had tears in her voice.

Her husband loved the president.

Admired his integrity.

Yes, we're big on integrity.

By the way, when I said I'd run
in his place, it's not like I meant it.

Let's go to the party.
There are TVs everywhere.

You'll know as soon as they're ready
to report something from the 47th.

You're right. You're right.

... House race in California 47th, where
the impossible seems to be happening.

And we send it to Gail Mackee, who 's
standing by in Newport Beach. Gail?

Julie, I'm at the Hyatt
in Newport Beach...

... with the Horton Wilde campaign, and
the place is going absolutely berserk.

Bonnie, Ginger, get me Will Bailey,
get me Kay Wilde. Very quickly, please.

... just received a phone call from
Congressman Chuck Webb.

He's conceding, thanking Mrs. Wilde
for a well-fought campaign...

Get Will Bailey. Please. Get him.

... and looking forward... He says he looks
forward to running in a special election.

Is there any word on who the Democrats
might run in the special election?

- Get him! Gotta get him!
-No, there isn 't, not yet.

But I can report a rumor that's
been making its way around.

Of course you can. Why not?

Former Orange County resident and
current White House Senior Adviser...

... Sam Seaborn will seek the seat.

And the plot thickens.

Sam Seaborn, of course...

... an architect of the president's
first victory...

... as well as his, I think we have
to start calling it a landslide tonight.

- They're talking about someone else.
-We've got a picture to throw on-screen.

Julie, I have to interrupt...

Yeah. Okay.

Anyone know where Toby
and Josh and C.J. are?

Hey! Toby, Josh, C.J., has anyone...?

They're over in the thing.

... California 47th the same way
the Democrats view the New York 16th.

-They see it as unlosable.
- Hi.

The Democrats have not
only never won the 47th...

... they've never even been a factor.

So who is this Sam Seaborn?

He's an integral part of
the president's circle...

... since joining the Bartlet campaign
after years at a New York law firm...

... Gage Whitney Pace.

-A graduate of Princeton...
- Sam Donaldson...

...from ABC Nightly News.

He'd like to know if the
president is endorsing Sam.

Toby, is the president endorsing Sam?

Is the president endorsing Sam?

I don't know. He's asleep,
but let's go ask him.

All right.

All right, look...

...this is extremely easy to explain.

First of all...

Okay, how familiar are the
three of you with Aristotle?

- You agreed to run?
- I said it for the widow.

She wanted a name for election night
and I said,"Use my name"...

...not thinking it was a practical option.

Can I ask, is your office now
the House of the Rising Sun?


- You did it for the widow?
- Yes.

And for a guy named Will Bailey...

...who ran the campaign
and worked his ass off.

Never backed off and navigated
a dead Democrat... a win against Chuck Webb.

Five hundred races tonight,
that was impressive.

Though it was an Aristotelian confluence
of events that could only happen to me.

- I have to talk to the widow.
- I'd talk to the president first.

- Really?
- He'll get it in the morning.

There's a seat in play. He's gonna be
asked about it. He can't say:

"I have no earthly idea what
you're talking about."

Okay. Yeah. All right.

I don't want to intimidate you...

...but I'm the first Democrat
in 20 years... make a clean sweep
of the Plains states.

And I'm not just talking about
lowa and Nebraska.

- Are you trying to turn me on now?
- Yeah.

All right.

I won the Dakotas.

The Badlands. The Black Hills.

But let's go down, way down
to the deep South...

...the humid bayou of Louisiana
and its nine electoral votes.

What manner of man it must
take to win the state.

Which, by the way... the only one operating
under the Napoleonic Code of France.

I still don't know what that's
all about, but back to me.

Hon, this is like nerd hot talk.

Who's your commander in chief?

- You are.
- Yes.

And do the ladies like him? Oh, yes... the tune of 58 percent.


I'm sorry, sir.

We had an understanding
with regard to tonight...

...and interruptions, Charlie.
I thought we were men.

Yes, I'm sorry, but Sam said...

- Sam needs to see me?
- Yes, sir.

- It's, what, 1 in the morning?
- Yes, sir.

Well, let's send him in.

- Good evening, Mr. President.
- Good to see you.

- I hope I'm not here at a bad time.
- No. What would make you say that?

I couldn't have picked a worse time.

You could have, and I'm not gonna
take any chances, so let's do it now.

- Horton Wilde won in the 47th.
- I know.

There will be a special election.

And, to make a long story short,
you might be asked tomorrow...

...if you're endorsing me.

- Am I?
- Well, I'm not really running.

Then I'm behind you 100 percent.

- Look...
- Man, is everything all right?


I made a promise to a widow
in a moment...

- Hello, Mr. President.
- Hey, Mrs. Bartlet.

- Oh, my God.
- Yeah. Look, honey, Sam stopped by.

- Hi, Sam.
- Hi.

- Eyes front, mister.
- I'll take care of this... the next few hours.
You don't need to worry about it.

- You sure you're okay?
- Yes, sir.

- Is this Dean Martin?
- Yeah.

- Good.
- Thank you.

Thank you, Mr. President.

- Could you keep trying Will Bailey, please?
- Yeah.

- Congratulations.
- You, too, Tom.

And congratulations on the
other thing there, Papa.

Yeah. Any idea where Mama is?

Right over there.

The great state of Maryland!


- Andy, don't drink the...
- It's ginger ale, crazy boy.

Ginger ale can be bad according
to the latest studies. It can be very...

My man got the president
reelected tonight!

That was very pleasant.

- Can I talk to you a second?
- Yeah.

We won by 85 percent of the vote.

I don't understand the 15 percent,
but what the hell.

Yeah, well, as long as you
scraped by with a win.

Look, a statement.

- We've been through this.
-Roll Call has it, we have to deal with it.

- I don't.
- Congresswoman, are you pregnant?

None of your business.

You can't withhold that.

Did you hear that the president has
multiple sclerosis and never told anyone?

Yes, there was
a congressional investigation.

It almost detonated his presidency.

You're worried about me?
I just won by 85 percent.

- I'm not worried about you.
- I know.

You're worried about a senior counselor
fathering kids out of wedlock.

Single moms are more sympathetic than
deadbeat dads, so I wouldn't gallivant.

- You're not a deadbeat dad.
- You and I know that.

But if I can't protect my kids,
their mom and the president...

...all at the same time, then I've gotta
quit my job, so help me out.

- Yes.
- You'll make a statement?

No, but when they ask me who
the father is, I won't tell them.

I'm the father.

You're at your leisure to tell them that.

Eighty-five percent of what kind...

...of backward population votes
for this woman?

The good people of Maryland.

- Maryland!
- Maryland!

Women. Yes indeed, ma'am.

Fifty-eight percent.


...let's take a trip down Louisiana way...

...where we find its nine
electoral votes go to...

- Leo?
- Yeah?

If you walk me through
every demographic...

...I think the night's not gonna have the
kind of happy ending you're hoping for.

Got it.

Good tip.

Keep them coming.

- Colonel.
- Yes, ma'am.



- How you doing?
- Pretty good. You got a second?


There's gunfire in Caracas
and Merida and Valencia.

There's movement
in the Acuellar, Coroico...

...Ciuadad Alto and Parado Negro bases.
- What about GV?

They stopped broadcasting.

- Are you ready to brief?
- Fifteen minutes.


Can you hang around for a minute?

There's about to be
a coup in Venezuela.



Bartlet seemed to rely heavily on
his intellectual book smarts...

... that some experts believe to be
off-putting to many Americans.

Did you think that the president
ran too smart?

We never advised him to hide his
intelligence, especially during debates...

Hey, with the singing.

... because that's what made him
stand out as a candidate.

Walk us through the tea leaves.

What were the indicators for you?

High gas prices and instability
in the Gulf region.

And so we recommended that he make
energy a hot topic for the campaign.

And obviously a winning strategy.

People say this is a president who...

... more than anyone since Truman,
ran his own campaign. Is that true?

Yeah. We all give advice...

... but this president calls his own shots.

- Does anyone know who this is?
- I think he won the election.

- It sounds like he did well.
- I think that's Chris Whitaker.

- It is.
- He's a pollster.

He's a pollster that Bruno
contracted out of Illinois.

Excuse me. Don't break things.

You realize you won all the Plains states
but the Dakotas?

We won the Dakotas.

I didn't even realize that.

Yeah, we won the Dakotas tonight.

The Badlands.

- Bruno?
- Sitting Bull was buried... Yeah. Hello.

Excuse me.

This is Ashley,
assistant to Jane Zalaznick... the Women's Leadership Coalition.
- C.J.

- Nice to meet you.
- You got a second?

Carloads of partygoers from
the Women's Leadership Coalition...

...and the Women's Action
Network are unloading... the northwest executive entrance.

It is time for watermelon.

You know a guy named Chris Whitaker?

- Widdle?
- Whitaker.

- Witkenstein?
- Are you drunk?

- A little bit.
- Chris Whitaker.

Is a pollster I contracted
for Cook County.

He was just on TV claiming credit
for your energy strategy.

The energy strategy
and who knows what else.

- Witkenstein?
- Bruno!

- What do I care?
- You should talk to reporters.

- You're entitled to the status you earned.
- The only thing I need status for...

...I'm doing right now.
- I'm watching this guy.

- You don't have to watch him.
- We owe you.

No, I got paid. But thanks.

I'm gonna talk to Ashley.

- I'm gonna be watching this guy.
- I'm gonna be talking to Ashley.


Donna. You might wanna tell Josh
that a few carloads of women...

- Yeah, he knows.
- Okay.

- Josh.
- Hang on. People...

...from the Women's Leadership
Coalition just...

Yes, hello.

Hello. It's a target-rich environment...

...and I don't wanna cramp your style.
I wanted to stash my coat in your office.

- Sure.
- Come here.

- Congratulations.
- Thanks.

You owe me 10 dollars
on the Delaware 1 st...

...ten dollars on lowa 5th. We pushed
across the Mountain states...

...I lost Arkansas
and the Georgia Legislature...

...but you went 20
on the Michigan gubernatorial.

How you doing on the night?

I'm only up 90, but there's a waste
disposal bond issue in Jasper, Alabama...

...that's gonna put me in
a new pair of Manolos.

So the guys at Lexington and Concord,
they didn't die in vain.

- Yeah, no way.
- Wanna hear the funniest thing?

A week ago, Sam told Horton Wilde's
widow that he would run in his place.

- I know.
- You heard?

- Yeah.
- All these events conspired to...

The DNC gave up, so the RNC left town,
leaving no one to read the exits.

- Want me to open it?
- I can do it.

The president won the Midwest.

There was depressed Republican turnout
in the district...

...because it was never a race, and...
- Will Bailey.

- I keep hearing that name.
- I helped him raise money.

For a dead candidate, of course you did.

Anyway, Sam's desperately trying
to get a hold of the widow... have the worst conversation
of his life. He'll have to say...

He should do it.
That's what I came to tell you.

- What do you mean?
- He should run.

He'll get killed.

But tomorrow, you'll face an angry
minority who don't feel...

...the president did enough to
make them the majority.

Angry House Democrats,
I'm shivering. Hold my hand.

- I'm saying...
- The president's coattails...

...elected a Democrat out of Orange
County with literally no pulse.

- Any congressman complaining...
- Will be smoothed over...

Will be smoothed over if the
president sends a top lieutenant...

...still shining from victory, on a suicide
mission to Disney's California Adventure.

- You're ahead 90 bucks?
- And it's still very early.

All right, give me your coat.


I didn't say anything.

- Okay, your coat will be here.
- I'm gonna go collect money.


I certainly...


- How did you know I was out there?
- I felt you lurking.

I wanna try to find a
guy named Will Bailey...

...with the Wilde campaign
in Newport Beach.


- Congratulations. Way to go, Will.
- Thanks for your work.

- I don't know who you are.
- Will!

- I'm going to sleep.
- Come back to the party!

- I'm going to sleep.
- Now?

- Any second.
- The greatest night of your life...

...and you're gonna sleep?
- Special reward.

There are all kinds of volunteers
who wanna dance with you.

- And you know what that means.
- Dance? I think I do.

You ever gonna enjoy yourself?

I beat Chuck Webb.
That was a pretty good time.

Yes, you did.

I'm so proud that you're my brother.

Me too. I mean, me too.

You know what I mean.

You sure you don't wanna come back?

- I can't stand up anymore.
- Okay.

- Sleep well.
- Thanks.

Don't be wearing that dress all
in front of... Never mind.

- Yeah.
-Will, this is Josh Lyman.

- Congratulations.
-You too, Mr. Lyman.

- It's a great night.
-I want to talk...

...about Sam.

Is there any chance we could
talk first thing in the morning...'s been a pretty long few months.

-I understand completely, Will.
- Thanks.

Let me just ask you this. What are
the president's unfavorables in the 47th?

-I'm sorry?
- I'm trying to get a sense of...

...what happens when Sam gets
tagged with Bartlet fatigue.

I understand. I don't have
the facts and figures.

I can call you in the morning
from the office.

I assumed, because most operatives
can recite that kind of thing.

You know, at the upper levels.

The president has a 48/42

...with a 12-point gender spread.
"Shares our values": 37/58.

"Handling of economy": 41/51.

-"Strong leader"?
- 37/44.

Thank you.

- Can you find Leo for me?
- Yeah.

It's Donna, I have Josh
looking for him.


Are you lost?

- Hey. I know you.
- Yeah.

You work here? You didn't tell me that.

Let me see your slip. I'm sure
you're over in Dr. McNally's wing.

Navigation was never my
strong area in school.

- You had to study it?
- Yeah, a lot.

- Where did you go to school?
- Annapolis.

Of course, I'm sorry.
It's this way, I'll take you.


- Why don't you give me a carton.
- No, no.

- You guys having a party or something?
- Yeah, we won an election.

I heard. Congratulations.

Isn't this a strange time to be
moving into your office?

I'm the 2 a.m. watch commander
in the Situation Room tonight.

Why didn't you tell me
you worked here?

I didn't want you to feel awkward
about voting for Ritchie.

I didn't vote for Ritchie.

Because you traded with me, but your
intent was to vote for Ritchie.

- Yes.
- And I didn't want you to feel awkward.

I appreciate that.

So why were you gonna vote
for Ritchie?

My role here isn't political.

Is that what they told you to say?

- Well, people usually don't ask.
- That's true.

So why were you gonna vote
for Ritchie?

- I think this is my door right here.
- It is.

Would you mind?

- Okay.
- It's freezing in here.

- I appreciate your help. Thanks a lot.
- You bet.

- So why were you vo...?
- Pentagon procurement.

- What about it?
- The president said he'd roll it back.

He wasn't talking about your job
or weapons, he was talking about...

...five-hundred-dollar screwdrivers.
- Excuse me.

Lieutenant Commander Reese.

I'm just asking out of curiosity.

- I mean, you're not in favor of...
- Thank you.

- Calling me to work early.
- What's going on?

I don't know.
Sounds like a coup d'état in Venezuela.

Well, you should go do that, then.


Yeah, be careful.

Thanks, but I'm just going downstairs.

- Still.
- Okay.

There's a cable intercept out
of Punto Fijo to Miraflores.

A request to speak to lgnacio?

Yeah, and there's a cellular intercept,
has General Martinez... the palace calling General Reyes.

- And?
- The request was denied.

Yeah, that wasn't really a
high-percentage phone call.


Leo, this is Lieutenant Commander
Jack Reese.

He's Nancy McNally's
new man in uniform.

Welcome, commander.
When did you start?

He started about 10 seconds ago,
Leo, this is his first night.

All right. Let me say first,
this is not a drill.

- Yes, sir.
- Major Carson from SOUTHCOM.

Adam Hallridge, CIA, Venezuela desk.

Troop, Assistant Secretary
for Latin American Affairs...

...and some other people.

Ignacio's two top generals,
Martinez and Rojas...

...threw their support behind Luna.

And Martinez placed lgnacio and
his vice president under arrest.

Does their control extend
beyond Caracas?


Ignacio's got the PDVSA refinery
at Punto Fijo.

There's 63 Americans in the refinery.

Mr. McGarry needs you to cull the
pertinent intelligence data.

Put together a briefing
he can give the president.

How much time do you need?

Three hours?

Twenty minutes, son.

"My ex-husband, Toby Ziegler,
and I are expecting twins in May.

We thank you for your good wishes
and ask for privacy...

...while we consider...

...reconciliation." Two sentences.

Actually, that's good.

- Yeah.
- It is.

- Harmless.
- Yes.

I'll tell you what, I'll issue that statement,
and that'll be that.

Thank you.


Toby, wake up. Wake up.
Time to go to school.

- What is the problem?
- You raise your voice... a pregnant woman?
- I didn't.

- It was in your inflection.
- Was it?

It is not a matter of national security
that the public know.

I do not waive my
Fourteenth Amendment rights.

The Fourteenth Amendment protects
you from state action, not the media.

There are 24 members
of Congress over 80.

They work on Tuesdays. No one tonight
is questioning their job performance.

First of all, three of those guys
are outstanding congressmen.

Second, their constituents knew
they were 80 when they voted for them.

I wouldn't have been elected
if voters knew?

Voters aren't the ones who
are gonna throw the picnic.

- I know.
- Then what's the problem?

I can't stand the ones who are.

You know I'm gonna get sued.

I mean, you know it.

The Citizens League
for a Rooty-Tooty Freedom Liberty.

They'll work out of a strip mall in
Sarasota, but they'll be well-funded.

- You're not trying to avoid a fight.
- No.

- You're looking for one.
- Yeah.

- You're sniffing around for a fight.
- Yes.

Not sniffing around for one as much as...

...trying to create one. Trying to create
trouble where none existed.

- Yes.
- Well...

...I can admire that.

Honey, have you told the Bartlets?

- No.
- Why not?

I came up with a plan to tell them
apart in the initial months.

I think I'll probably
dress them differently.

Oh, okay.

I was gonna hang little
signs around their necks.

Why haven't you told them?

I don't know.

There's a thing,"The biggest lies are
told after sex, before..."


Well, I think it's helpful if
lies come before sex.

But"The biggest lies come
after the hunt...

...before marriage and during elections."

- Mark Twain?
- Nice to meet you. Bruno Gianelli.

- You're funny.
- Yeah.

Does winning make you funny?

Losing makes you funny,
winning makes you handsome.

- Well, you must win an awful lot.
- Bruno?

Excuse me.

I am...

I'm just gonna kill you.

- She seems nice.
- That's the brunette named Annette.

You'd give anything
if she was from Tibet.

I'm fine with her being from Philadelphia.
State your business.

- Witkenstein.
- I don't believe this.

It'll be the start of a press tour.

- Enjoy the party.
- I'm gonna leak campaign memos.

Listen. I think it's good
this guy is talking.

He doesn't know anything.
It won't last long.

- I don't care. We can...
- C.J.

I know how to do this,
end a process story...

...and correct the record.
- Look at me.

- What?
- We won. It's over.

In a poll taken three days after
the MS announcement...

...the President lost to Ritchie by nine
points. He won by 11. You did it.

It helps when you cook
with the right food.

But at midnight, my contract
with Bartlet for America expired.

I'm a taxpayer now. I've got bigger
problems than who gets credit for a win.

And I'd rather the White House
not spend time on it.


Hey, if you wanna come back to my
office, there's an actual still.

- I heard. I'll be there.
- Okay.

- Speaking of credit.
- Yeah.

Nice win.

- Listen, can I talk to you for a minute?
- Yeah.

I've been talking to a few people...

...and I don't know, I think
maybe Sam should run.

- I've thought about that too.
- What's the story gonna be?

- That we didn't take back the House.
- Like that was our fault.

"He didn't do enough
down-ticket campaigning."

Any idea how much
gumbo that man ate?

This is what you do.
You bounce off the subject.

Oh, shrimp.

Running for Congress isn't a thing
you do to change the story.

I know, but there are real reasons.

We give Democrats in the 47th
something to get excited about.

- You think he should run?
- I do.

- This shrimp is incredibly good.
- What are you doing here?

I'm your wingman.


- Hello.
- Hey.

Toby, I'm afraid you didn't
have a good night.

I bet against a Puerto Rican
for Bronx borough president, I deserve it.

You took a hit, ironically, on a Wisconsin
referendum to legalize gambling...

...but you won steaks on the over-under
in the Texas Farm Commissioner race.

Does the U.S. Attorney's
office know you?

- Yeah, they have me on file.
- Can we talk to you a minute?

Actually, I'm gonna talk to the president
and first lady. Can it wait?

- You're gonna tell them?
- Yeah.

- Can we come?
- No.

- They're still up, right?
- Yeah.

Jimmy Fitzsimmons won
the Boston mayor's race by 51 points...

...and believe it or not,
did not beat the spread.

I think he should do it.

- Hey.
- Hi.

Do you work on the maintenance staff?

No, I'm senior assistant to Josh Lyman,
he's the deputy chief of staff.

I'd noticed that the room was cold before,
so I loosened up the radiator...

...but then, well, I guess you
could say I broke it.

But it's fine now. It should be fine.

Well, I doubt it.

The building has maintenance,
doesn't it?

They're having fun at the party.

So everyone safe in Venezuela?


$500 screwdrivers is why you
didn't vote for him?

I work for the president, that's a lot.

- It's wasteful spending.
- No, it's not.

A $400 ashtray?

- What was that?
- A $400 ashtray.

It's off the USS Greeneville, a submarine
and a likely target for a torpedo.

When hit, you've got enough problems
without glass flying... the eyes of the navigator
and officer of the deck.

This one's built to break
into three dull pieces.

We lead a different life out there,
and it costs more money.

I can't believe you broke
a $400 ashtray.

Yeah, I wish I hadn't done that.
It's because you're blonde.

- How'd it go in the Sit Room?
- Not my finest hour.

You wanna go to the party?

- I've still got the watch.
- Okay.

- Can you glue that thing back together?
- No.

- They'll page me up at the party, right?
- Yeah.


As you can see, we've moved
on to the caviar course.

- I love caviar.
- I know how you do.

Stoli Cristall, the most
elegant of vodkas.

The caviar itself is a product
of my advice... the Convention on International
Trade in Endangered Species.

We passed a much more stringent bill...

...against the poaching of
Caspian Sea sturgeons.

This is Oklahoma caviar?

California white sturgeon
from the Stillman Sea Farm in Elverta.

- Only the best.
- Stop, it's getting hot in here.

Oh, I think you're gonna find...

Excuse me.

- Good evening.
- How you doing?

I'm fine, thank you, sir.

- I'm sorry, but Leo needs to see you.
- Okay. Anyone else?

- Yes, sir, then Toby.
- Yeah. You're young, Charlie.

Don't you wanna be having
fun right now?

Yes, sir, but I work for you.

I get that a lot. Leo.

- Good evening, sir.
- Yes?

- You look sharp.
- Thank you.

- Hey, Abbey.
- Hi, Leo.

What happened?

It sounds like Commando Especial units
under Luna...

...broke into the refinery
and took control.

- The Americans?
- They're safe. It's over.

Yeah. Well, we kind of knew
it was gonna be like this.

- Yes, sir.
- Jordan still here?

- Yeah.
- All right, have a good night.

- You know Toby's lurking out here?
- Yeah. Toby.

Thank you, Mr. President.

- Good evening, sir.
- Hi.

Mrs. Bartlet, that's a lovely
housecoat you're wearing.

- Thank you.
- Listen, I'm in the middle of something.

Is this anything that could
wait until tomorrow?

Of course it is.

Really, I've stopped by because I hadn't
told you that Andy's pregnant.

It's twins and, of course,
I'm the father.

Wow, that's great.

Well done. See you tomorrow.

- Yeah.
- Jed! Toby...

...get in here.

I was this close.

- Andy's pregnant?
- Yeah.

It's twins, a boy and a girl.

That is the most wonderful news.

- I'm gonna cry.
- You should marry that girl, Toby.

- I'm doing my best, sir.
- How far along is she?

End of May. I have a picture.

- Wait a second, end of May?
- Oh, boy.

- This is gonna...
- Hang on, I'm doing math in my head.

End of May, why didn't
you tell us until now?

- Jed, he doesn't need a reason.
- Yeah, but he's got one.

The truth is, I don't, sir,
at least not a good one.

I was intimidated by your Catholicism.


- Yeah.
- It's my Catholicism, it works for me.

- And me.
- And her.

- Did you break any laws?
- No, sir.

Then a blessing on your house,
young man. Mazel tov.

Thank you, sir.

- Thank you, ma'am.
- Okay.

- Is that caviar there?
- Not really, no.

Let's go.

I told Leo McGarry that. I said
education's the silver bullet...

...that's what this election is about.

We went in the field. We came up
with the middle-class tax cut... the 100 percent
tax-deductible tuition...

Excuse me.

- Chris Whitaker, right?
- Yeah.

Thank you.

- Thank you, thank you, thank you.
- Well, thank you.

No, please. We're all impressed
with how influential you were...

...particularly when most of us
have never met you.

What I'm most grateful for
is the process story...

...taking attention from the debate
and focuses it...

...where it belongs,
which is the contest.

This is the story everyone will be
clamoring for. You're filling that need.

To show my gratitude, I'm calling all
the news outlets and letting them know...

...that I'll be forwarding all your
confidential memos to the president...

...Iogs of all your calls with him...

...Secret Service logs of your meetings
inside the White House.

I really pissed you off, huh?

Don't disrespect Leo McGarry
and Bruno Gianelli.

- Sam.
- I was just on my way.

- What do you guys need?
- We need to talk to you.

Talk to me about what?

We think you should run.

Why would you think
something like that?

Well, it was Josh's idea.

Actually, it was Amy's.

- Why?
- I picked a trifecta...

...with the California 47th, a sheriff's race
in Arizona and the Tulsa Family Court.

- Can I give you the money and...?
- You'd be a home-run choice.

You'll raise a lot of money,
and I have a hunch that the president...

...who just won a landslide,
will be making some visits as well.

You'll be the best-funded Democrat
ever to run in 47.

You're not gonna win,
so you can't lose.

I think you'd energize the state party.

We're not gonna let you look like a fool.
We won't allow it.

What do you think?

I don't think you should do it.

Energizing the state party is good...

...a well-funded airing of issues is good,
so is mollifying House Democrats...

...but you have to ask,
is it worth it? You'll lose.

Democrats are always gonna lose
in the 47th.

You can't just pick up and try someplace
else. They have a name for that.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I worked on a state assembly
race in Manhattan... a district where Democrats
outnumbered Republicans 16 to one.

But everywhere we went, there'd be
one poster of a right-wing nut bar...

...who wanted to eliminate income tax.

And he was holding up signs
and canvassing everywhere...

...and bugging the local reporters
until we had to comment on it.

So I introduced myself to his
campaign manager, and I said:

"What are you doing?

Your candidate doesn't have a chance
and neither do your issues."

He said,"This is what I believe...

...and no candidate gets to run in my
district without speaking to my issues."

I came this close to voting for him.


...I don't know
about what you just said.

Then I think you should win.

I'm sorry. I've finally got Mrs. Wilde
on the phone.

All right.

- All right, what?
- All right.

And get Will Bailey on the phone.
You think he's still up?

- No problem.
- Oh, yeah.

I'm gonna take this call.

We'll go with you.

You're in the Air Force, the private
sector, the Labor Department...

...two presidential campaigns
and rehab...

...and you think you've seen it all,
but it turns out you haven't.

Sam Seaborn is gonna be
the Democratic candidate...

...for Congress in Orange County.

I know. I think it's terrific,
but I would've thought you'd be unhappy.

- Why?
- He's gonna get crushed...

...and I wouldn't think it
would reflect well on your boss.


Let me tell you something
about process, Dr. Kendall...

...and I'll do so
while tuning this radio... WNKW,"the music of your life."

And begging the sun for one
more moment of moonlight.

Speaking of the moon...

...Luna took power tonight.

About three dozen people are dead...

...and lgnacio's under arrest.

He'll be dead soon.


Luna's who you wanted.

The process matters more than the
outcome, and that's what we wanted.

And therein endeth the lesson.

Will you dance with me?