The West Wing (1999–2006): Season 4, Episode 9 - Swiss Diplomacy - full transcript

In the days after the election the White House is faced with a tricky diplomatic situation when the Swiss ambassador meets Leo with a message from the leader of Iran (a country with no diplomatic ties to the US), requesting that his gravely ill son receive a heart and lung transplant, an operation which can only be performed in America. Meanwhile, Toby tries to get a job for a congresswoman who has lost her seat, and finds that her alliance with the White House may have permanently burned her credentials, and Josh must meet with the Vice President, who appears to be already kick starting the next presidential election, upsetting other democrats who want a fair fight.

Previously on The West Wing:

- It's over.
- You'll be back.

Let's go, 10 bucks.
Ten bucks for you.

It was the president's idea.

Bet us you couldn't stay quiet
if he gave a bad answer.

Horton Wilde in Orange County is in
the hospital. His 4th heart attack.

Who knows when he'll
resume a campaign.

- He's dead.
- President wins the debate tomorrow... marry me again.
- Will Bailey, come inside?

- The campaign's embarrassing to us.
- I'm not embarrassed by it.

If you can't find a Democrat,
tell Kay I'll do it.

Andy's pregnant, with twins.

Thank you.

- You're Josh Lyman, aren't you?
- Yeah.

I've seen your picture a lot.

- Can I ask you something?
- Sure.

Bartlet's on the ballot for the Democratic
Party and for the Statehood Party.

It's okay that I voted for him
in both columns, right?

No, you can't vote for him
in two columns.

I already did.

Your ballot's gonna be invalidated.

- What for?
- You're allowed to vote once.

He's on the ballot twice.

He's on it more. He's on it... the Liberal Party nominee...
- I'm saying, I'm for Statehood.

Me too, and yours is a vote
we didn't get.

I'm so sorry to interrupt...

...did you say you're supposed to vote
for the president in both columns?


No. You can vote for the president
in whatever column you want...

...but you can only vote once.
- He's right.

- Yes... I'm... Yes.
- And I'll tell you a secret for a shortcut.

If you just, say,
vote for one Democrat...

...and leave the rest of the boxes blank,
then you voted for all the Democrats.

Yes. No.

It doesn't... You can't vote for a party,
you have to vote for a person.

- No, I think you're wrong.
- I'm not.

I left all but one box blank.

Well, then, you voted for none
but one candidate.


Did you vote for the president?
Was the president the one?

- Who remembers?
- It was a minute and a half ago.

- Don't be rude.
- I'm sorry.

Thank you for voting.

- Excuse me.
- Yes, what?


Yes, hello.

- You're who I think you are, right?
- I can be anybody you want.

- That's funny.
- Thank you.

I saw you getting run over
by those people.

Just part of the job, ma'am.

I guess you hear some
pretty silly questions.

Well, I'm just worried because
they all tried to vote for Bartlet.

If this keeps up we're headed toward
the biggest electoral upset in history.

Nobody's gonna figure out why.

Right. It's the same thing
with my parents.

I tell them, rank the candidates
in order of preference.

Right. No.

Mr. Lyman, voted for your boy
in all three boxes.

No, listen to me, your ballot
is invalid. So is yours.

Punch the box next to the candidate
you prefer once. Nothing else.

- I'm sorry, one more thing?
- Yes?

I have a message from Toby Ziegler.

- What?
- I have a message from Toby Ziegler.

You know Toby?

He says:

"Ten dollars."

I see.

You guys are a little troupe...

...a little acting troupe, with a U.
- Yes, sir, we are.

- Can I give you a card?
- No.

Mr. Ziegler said you were
edgy on election days... to show there are
no hard feelings... about I go there and
vote for the president, now.

As a matter of fact, that'd be nice.

No problem. Do you happen
to know if I need to be...

...I don't know, pre-registered
or something?


The teachers have 500 red and blue
"Bartlet-Hoynes" banners.

- That plus 600 from Building Trades.
- No.

- I'm sorry?
- No.

- Why?
- The partisanship's over.

We elected a president.
This is for everybody.

No banners tonight, American flags...

But use the Seal, I'll put Senate
and House Leadership up there.

- No balloons, no confetti.
- Why?

- It's not a party.
- It is a party.

- But we won. We don't have to pander.
- Don't say that.

On your birthday, don't we pander?

- Not as much as I'd like.
- Not kidding.

- What are you babbling about?
- We haven't won.

- The speech is done.
- Two speeches.

- What's the second?
- One if he wins... if he doesn't.
- You wrote a concession?

Of course I wrote a concession.

You wanna tempt the wrath of the
whatever from high atop the thing?

- No.
- Then go outside, turn around and spit.

What's the matter with you?

- It's like 25 degrees outside.
- Go.

- Hello.
- Mr. Lyman.

I see your picture in the magazine.
Tell me, if I swallow my ballot, does it...?

- Election Day humor, great.
- He wrote a concession speech.

Of course he wrote it.
Why wouldn't he?

What possible reason would he have for
not writing a concession speech?

- The wrath from high atop the thing?
- He upped and said we were gonna...

No, go outside, turn around
three times and curse.

- Spit.
- Spit and curse.

- Do everything. Go.
- Go!

- Go!
- Go!

These things have a half-life.
You can't...

- We're meeting again when?
- First round of exits at 11.

Eleven o'clock unless
there's a reason earlier.

- Can I have you two seconds?
- Yeah.

- What do you need?
- Hang on.

- There's trouble?
- A little bit.

- For the president?
- For you.

I know better than to stick my face
in your personal life.

Except, you know, for sport.

- What happened?
- Roll Call's got it...

...from the Office of Congress's
attending physician that Andy's pregnant.

When did they start doing more
than flu vaccinations?

They need updated records.

Roll Call doesn't need
updated records, though.

They're gonna connect the dots. It's
gonna be bad for her and bad for you.

- You mean bad for us.
- I can handle the us.

- What's her plan?
- I don't know.

- Toby.
- I don't know. We haven't talked.

- She's gotta be proactive.
- Yeah.

It'd be nice if we could
announce a wedding.

- I'm working on that, thanks.
- You'll talk to her?

- Yeah.
- Thanks.

- Did you...?
- Yes, I turned, I cursed, I spat, it froze.

- You can't be too careful.
- I think you can.

Sam, you got Will Bailey
calling from California.

"Won't you come home, Will Bailey?

Won't you come home?"

Sancho, how you doing?

-I'm Sancho?
- Yeah.

- Can I ask you something?
- Yes, grasshopper.

- How much do you know on exit polls?
- What's to know?

You stand 100 yards away
and say"Who'd you vote for?"

You can't afford exit polls.

I've got volunteers out there.

- And?
- Something weird's going on.

- What?
- We're winning.

- What do you mean?
- We're down one in Spyglass Hill...

...even in Emerald Bay and up three
in El Toro Station.

- Can I give you free advice?
- Yeah.

It's not advice so much as
I'm saying this:

Democrats vote early. Okay?
And diehards vote early.

You want me to call in
every couple of hours?

- Every hour.
- Okay.


...Democrats vote early, right?
- Yeah.

Ginger? Democrats and
diehards vote early, right?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

Mrs. Bartlet, can you tell us
who you voted for?

- Nobody, I was just fixing my makeup.
- How are you spending the day?

Filling out Chicago ballots,
just pitching in.

He's gonna be flying around
thanking supporters.

- Is there any suspense at all today?
- Well, there are about...

...14 competitive Senate races,
about 46 House races...

...right here in New Hampshire there's
a 600-million-dollar bond issue..., no one's elected
my husband president yet.

Mr. President, polls show a
dogfight here in New Hampshire.

How would you feel if you won the
election, but lost your home state?

Better than if I won my home state,
but lost my home country.

But the only poll that matters
closes in 17 hours.

- Did you vote for the bond issue?
- Title 63, Chapter 659, Section 43...

...of New Hampshire Election
Code says:

"Electioneering is prohibited within
a corridor 10 feet wide...

...extending a distance
from the entrance door... determined by the moderator where
the election is being held."

If anyone knows what that means.

Yeah, I voted for the bond issue.
It'll improve public education...

...without a tax abatement.
- Mr. President.

Mr. President, do you have anything
to say to Governor Ritchie today?

Well, one way or another,
I imagine we'll be talking tonight.

I gotta get back. You can hockle Abbey
for a while, she's taking the next plane.

Thank you, Mr. President.

- These are for your signature.
- Yeah.

- Could you score me a couple of aspirin?
- Yes, sir.

- Got a headache?
- I'm fine.

- Should I ask the doctors to...?
- It's just a headache.

- Just me and you today, okay? I'm fine.
- Yes, sir.

- I'll sign these in the car.
- Yes, sir.

Come on.

Okay, this can wait. Let's go.

Nothing's happening right now.

By the end of the night,
100 million votes will be cast.

Polls have been open in the East
for six and a half hours.

You know how many votes
have been cast? One percent.

Everybody votes after work.
Not me, I vote first thing.

The VNS exit polls are down
in Michigan for a little while.

And it's raining in Oregon.

This is like the ionization
blackout period.

Pumpkin Patch, anything I can do to
get you to the movies for eight hours?

- Senior Staff.
- Yeah.

- But can you do me a favor?
- What do you need?

This is a photocopy of my absentee
ballot. I was hoping the president...

...could sign it and I'd have it framed.
- Yeah.

You know the president's
the first winner I voted for?

- Is this a joke?
- It's not hard to believe...

- No, I mean this.
- What are you talking about?

Toby already did the thing this
morning with the invalid ballots.

- My ballot's invalid?
- This isn't a joke?

- It's invalid?
- You voted for Ritchie.

- Where?
- Here.

Oh, my God.

Your picking-the-winner streak
is probably over.

No, no, no.
It's an optical scan ballot.

I drew a line through
the Democratic ticket.

Almost. You drew a line through
the Republican ticket.

You didn't ticket-split. You voted for
every Republican in Wisconsin.

Check. You may have
voted for McCarthy.

- I'm gonna rectify this.
- How?

I don't know, but it'll be counted.

- It will.
- I don't want it counted.

- I'm going, you still want...?
- Give me that.

Hey, I'm going in, okay?

- Hey, Josh. No.
- I'm sorry?

- It's the Senior Staff meeting.
- I'm Senior Staff.

- You don't have your briefing memo.
- How do you know?

I'm sorry. Do you have it?


- I memorized it.
- Did you get my e-mail...

...on the three new rules for the week?
- I got it. I read it.

It was good stuff. It's possible
the salient details escape me.

Rule number two: You don't attend Daily
Senior Staff without the briefing memo.

The agenda's outlined and there are...

...up-to-the-minute details
on priority items, and still...

...half the meeting is spent
regurgitating the memo...

...for members who have difficulty
holding onto salient details.

That's fair, and next time
I'm gonna remember the memo.

I'm confident you will because you're
gonna remember it this time too.

- You want me to go back and get it?
- I do.


All right.

- I'm gonna humor the new girl.
- Appreciate it.

- Going to get your briefing memo?
- Yes.

Charlie, Security called for you.
They'd like to see you out front.

- Security?
- Yeah.

What the hell? Anthony.

Michelle, he's with me.

- Which one?
- The regular-sized one. Who are you?

- Orlando Kettles, boss, how you doing?
- Fine, thanks.

- Anthony.
- Yeah, you know, I brought him today.

First of all, they're a little
prickly about security here.

You're not down as"Anthony plus one."
You see the guns standing around now?

Boy's going to Columbus,
starting right tackle for the Buckeyes.

True freshman. I hand you the ball,
run behind him, have coffee.

He's gonna play on Sundays.

- You his agent?
- Don't have nothing in writing.

- What's he doing here, Anthony?
- He got pulled over...

...with an open can of Pabst.
- He was... You were driving drunk?

No way, boss.

He passed the Breathalyzer.
It was the open can of Pabst.

But Saturday's St. Erasmus Academy,
that's a big game for a senior.

- Wanna put a hurt on some blue blazers?
- Anthony.

Coach is gonna sit him down because
of the Pabst, unless...

- Unless what?
- You know, you do your thing.

- My thing?
- Write him a note.

- Saying what?
- He's a good guy, Charlie.

- He does his business.
- I'm not Officer Krupke. I have a job.

Try to think back to the days before
you were secretary of state.

There are good guys and bad guys.
When good guys...

...stop letting you play with them,
bad guys have a recruiting field day.

When did you start talking
like Mickey Spillane?

- I don't know. Who's Officer Cupcake?
- Okay, you're seeing a musical.

Man, look at the size of him, Charlie.
He's not done growing either.

Who do you want him playing for?

What else has he got?

- What else?
- Priors.

Nothing, man. I swear.

He stole a goat.

- A goat?
- Yeah.

Why did he...? No. I don't care.

- You got his Social Security number?
- Yeah.

- Orlando, got practice this afternoon?
- Oh, yeah.

You're not going. It's Election Day.
You're gonna spend it with me.

Yo, man, I've done wind sprints,
I'll take the swap.

Follow me. This is the White House.

Frederick Douglass came here.

Mondays through Fridays we wear
coats and ties. You too, Mugsy.

Hey, Charlie, not for nothing,
but so you know...

...some higher-end places
provide a jacket for you.

Right. You're confusing the
White House with the Friars Club.

The people I work with are serious,
so don't embarrass me.

- You got it, boss.
- We're gonna have to wait...

...till the Secret Service...

Sorry, man, that wasn't cool.

- How you doing?
- You all right?

He should... You should play football.

Hey, man, I'm trying, you know,
but I had an open Pabst...

...and that's the way that goes.
- Yeah.

Let's go.

Rule number two:
Daily Senior Staff will...

...something the briefing memo.
I have the memo, I'm going.

- Yeah. No.
- No?

No, have you read rule number one?

The salient details...

The meeting starts on time.
If you're not there, you don't go in.

- That's insanity.
- Well, I'm quite mad.

There has to be a natural fluidity to
these things. It's how we work best.

You can't say that every
meeting has to...

I didn't.

The e-mail, which is exactly this long,
in case as a boy you had...

...a frightening experience with Balzac,
and that's why you didn't read it...

...says,"This applies only to
the Daily Senior Staff meeting."

One meeting it's gonna be
important to be on time.

Well, I think that's a random
cracking of the whip.

According to the last
300 daily diaries...

...the president is typically 70
to 90 minutes over-scheduled... the end of the day.
The median time a day ends...

...the over-under is 10:20 p.m.

As many days have ended after
that time as have ended before it.

The result being, the Commander in
Chief of the U.S. Armed Forces...

...hasn't had a night's sleep
in four years.

That's both bad and easy to fix.


Well, yes, that's hard
to argue against.

I'll remember this talk next time.

I have confidence that you will.

Okay. Well, I'm going
in now, all right?

Sweet of you to tell me a joke, Josh.
You're the funny one, I can tell.

All right.

This is your little part of the store
and I respect that.

See what I did there? Respect.

No one's bigger than the game.

- You're an example for the kids.
- Yeah.

- I'm going out for about 20 minutes.
- Where?

There's a polling place nearby,
I'm gonna find someone to swap votes.

A Ritchie supporter to vote for the
president to offset my absentee ballot.

- Really.
- It's Election Day, I'm doing this.

- It's gonna take 20 minutes?
- Yeah, I'll be right back.

You bet. Toby.

- He can't talk.
- Okay.

We're late for the first sonogram.

Big needle, 18 inches, right in
the stomach, Toby, don't look at it.

- Yeah, that's amniocentesis.
- Hurts like heartbreak.

- You've had the procedure?
- Not me personally.

Toby, it's a good idea to slip
the nurse something.

Tell her you're hoping for
a smooth second trimester.

- You grease the nurse?
- He's kidding.

Give me one second, would you?
I'll catch up.

- Sports fans, this is getting exciting.
- Yes.

So, what do you think,
like, 50 bucks?

I don't know, it's your first,
it's twins.

I don't know, I think I'd give her 100.

Yeah, okay.

In your life you have never been
on time to this meeting.

I wasn't actually. I was just incredibly
late to the meeting right before it.

- Well, that's the trick then.
- Yeah.

Sam, Will Bailey's on the phone
if you want him.

That name sounds familiar.

He's a guy in California.

He's on the phone...

...and I'm gonna talk to him now.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- Everything all right?
- Yeah.

California 47th. He was the guy running
Horton Wilde?

- Yeah.
- They're gonna lose by 20 points.

Really? You're getting that
from the exits?

- Yeah.
- Great.

- Great?
- No. I mean, it's a tough beat...

...what with dying and all.
- Yeah.

- I'm gonna talk to him now, okay?
- Okay.

- Hey.
- I think we're still up.

Josh says the exits
have you down 20.

He means the tracking. The last one was
a week ago, then the DNC left town.

- He said the exits.
- Hey, when I said"exits" before...

...I meant tracking.

They did the last one a week ago,
then left town.

Yeah, they may have called
that putt a little early.

Sam, it'd help if we could get added
to the president's afternoon satellite.

- We could use some radio at drive time.
- Yeah.

Will, no kidding... time's also when the plants get
out and the real Orange County votes...

...that's when you turn
into a pumpkin.

Don't get your hopes up.

No, just a good showing.
Cover the spread.

All right.

- What'd he say?
- Don't get hopes up.

- Are they?
- No.

Everybody on the street.
But we're gonna make history.

Roll Call has the pregnancy.


Roll Call has the pregnancy.
C.J. just told me.

- When?
- A little while ago.

- Why are you telling me now?
- I didn't wanna ruin the day for you.

- Then why are you telling me now?
- I couldn't help it.

- Roll Call has it from where?
- The Office of the Congressional.


- What are you saying that to me for?
- No, I was...

I was saying it to them.
I was asking it.

Out of curiosity, how long did you think
this was going to be covert?

These are twins, Andy. You think
you're gonna go on Meet the Press...

...and Russert won't notice
you're the size of a school?

Why not just come out and say:

"I'm expecting twins,
I couldn't be happier.

The father's my ex-husband, Toby
Ziegler, to whom I'll be remarried...

...on a date to be decided upon.

- I'm thinking Christmas."
- I'm not marrying you again.

Then say the first part at least.

I hadn't announced it because you don't
in the first 12 weeks because...

...that's when most
of the things go wrong.

These bodies of yours, I don't know
how you live with them.

- They don't seem to mind.
- I like the outsides.

Hello, Andrea. Toby.


Honey, if you're gonna
get grossed out...

...and faint, you should sit.
- She's kidding.

- How've you been feeling?
- I feel great.

Feel like you're getting
enough calcium?

- What does that feel like?
- I don't know either.

It's just something we ask.
We don't even care about the answer.

You should draft a release.

Let that be my first act of fatherhood,
drafting your release.

Go back to my roots as we all must go.
Now you're on offense, not defense.

I'm not gonna be
on offense or defense.

The things we do in our lives...

...many of them are not voluntary.
- You don't say.

I think you've performed your first act
of fatherhood already.

Yes, indeed. So let my second act be
throwing you a little press conference.

Sounds fine. I, myself, can't make it,
but you have a nice time, honey.

Do I need to tell you
the first rule of damage control?

No, but the next time you refer
to this pregnancy as damage...

Get the information out early,
get it out yourself... it on your own terms.
- That's three rules.

Andy, look. I'm not kidding.
You gotta...

- What was that?
- That was...

- Did you hear that?
- Yeah, that was...

Andy, you can see their...


My kids have heads.

My vote in Wisconsin is more valuable
than your vote in the District...'re getting big value.
- How do you figure?

The president's gonna win the District,
it's certain.

But Wisconsin's actually in play
and I voted for your guy.

- How do I know that?
- I've shown you the ballot, look.

- Well, that's a photocopy.
- Of course it's a photocopy.

- The real one's in Wisconsin.
- Well, how do I know that?

You don't. This is an honor thing.
It's about honor and democracy.

I'm gonna go vote now,
so please stop talking to me.


You think I'm trying to scam you?

I've been here two and a half
hours trying to get one vote.

You think this is how I make money?

Hey, you know what? No problem
shouting in public, but I think...

- Take off the Bartlet button?
- Yeah.

Josh told me you were still here.
I was over at the place.


- You wanna get a muffin?
- Yeah, I'll walk you.

So, what's going on?

It's raining in Oregon.

Yeah. Yeah, Josh was
talking about that before.

Apparently all his other
problems are solved.

If your guy's gonna win big,
you don't want it to rain.

There's less motivation anyway
because of the blowout...

...and you have no idea how fast
these things can become a race.

- What do you need?
- A banana muffin, please.

I did something last week.

I went to see a guy named Will Bailey.

He ran Horton Wilde's campaign
in Orange County...

...and Wilde died
a couple of weeks ago...

...his widow wanted to know...

...what Democrat would stand in for
her husband, should he win. I said...

- You're kidding.
- You have to understand.

This wasn't something that
cost me anything.

They weren't gonna announce
unless Wilde won...

...and that was never gonna
happen in Orange County.

It's like the
Secretary of Agriculture saying:

"Sure I'm ready to assume
the presidency...

...should the 18 who come
before me die."

- Why not?
- So why not?

Because it's a two-point
race right now.

- This is very exciting.
- No, it's not.

The prospect of going back on my word
to a recent widow.

So why go back on it?

Because the alternative is taking
90 days off to go home...

...Iose by 20 points to a Republican
committee chair I hate...

...and never be able to run
for public office for real...

...which is something I wouldn't
mind doing one day.

Once 5:00 and 6:00 roll around.

That's exactly what I'm thinking.


- What?
- There's an El Ni?o thing going on... Southern California today and...
- No.

It's supposed to start raining
in a few hours.


- Okay, I'm gonna go back to the office.
- Okay.

- Why don't you give me the button.
- Yeah.

You're cleared.
You can come upstairs.


There are chairs up there
that are over 200 years old.

Before you sit in one I wanna see
written confirmation...

...from the Army Corps of Engineers
that it can support your girth.

You stole a goat?
I'm assuming this was a mascot?

Yeah, that was sweet.
I was just the legman.

Anthony's the brains.

Yeah, it had that international
jewel thief feel to it.

What do you think we're
doing the rest of the day?

- You know, video games, hanging out.
- Really?

I'm voting at 8:30, you guys will come
with me, watch me vote, then go home.

Man, what good is...?
I mean, they're not gonna let me vote.

It's like my face is pressed up
to the window.

That's right, yet somehow,
I don't care.

I'm old enough to vote.

- You're 18?
- I'm 19.

They came to school to sign
up people.

- You're registered to vote?
- I think I might be, yeah.

- Where?
- He doesn't know where.

- I don't know where.
- Well, let's find out.

- Good afternoon, Mr. President.
- Good afternoon, sir.

Hello. Hi.

- What's going on?
- Line one now is a DSS line.

It means Direct Station Select.
Pick it up, you get me.

What was wrong with the old way?

- You done?
- Yes, ma'am.

Thanks a lot.

- I'm sorry, sir.
- What was wrong with the old way?

- Well, this is better.
- How?

You don't care, sir, it just is.

I hear you've got rules for meetings.

Yes, some. Yes, I do, sir.

You don't think that's apt to create
resentment among people here before...

It's not like the thing wasn't working.

Whatever you assume,
that wasn't a rube sitting out there.

She ran the Oval Office for two years
and a State House before that.

Yes, sir. At any rate,
line one gets you me.

What if, instead of you,
I want a dial tone?

That's line two,
but you're not gonna want one.

- Why?
- I'm gonna place your outgoing calls.

- You'll place a lot of them...
- No, sir, I need to place them all.

I can make my own phone call...

- Sir.
- I can make my own phone call.

Yes, but soon you might not
necessarily remember that you did.

When I call, there's a record.
That's how you'll know.

And then you won't
be worried about it.

That's good. That's a good idea.

- Is there anything else?
- No.

Thank you, Mr. President.

You and I haven't met.

In my life, I never would've
thought she was a rube.

I'm sorry about that.

Debbie, I have to ask you:

Are we talking about...?
Did you bring it up because you...?

- Is there something today you noticed?
- No, sir. Do you feel all right? Should I...?

No, please. I was talking
about something else.

Line one is you?

- Yes, sir.
- Thanks.

Will, you have Sheryl Cryman...

...that's the County Clerk's legal
counsel, it's blinking.

Sheryl, it's Will Bailey, how you doing?

Fine, thank you.

There are scattered power outages in
the Casa Verde precinct in Santa Ana.

Streetlights are going off in the only
legitimately Democratic precinct I've got.

So if I lose by 100 because people
couldn't cross the street...

...who in your office would I talk to
about election tampering?

Thanks a lot, Sheryl.
I appreciate it.

Pull sound trucks from Laguna Hills,
not enough foot traffic.

- Put them in Anaheim.
- Will.

- When the hell's it gonna rain?
- Willy.

Don't call me that.

The die's been cast, big brother,
you're making everyone crazy.

There's a moment after you cast the die,
before it hits the table.

Breathe wrong, you'll change the way
it lands. Can I get a new weather report?

There's value here, there's value,
gotta appreciate the value.

- A Ritchie vote in Wisconsin.
- Let me ask you this.

Bartlet's supposed to be smart, right?
He's smart, we're dumb, he knows best.

So what does it say when his people
don't know how to fill out a ballot?

Maybe he's a little out of touch.

Is that what it says?

Maybe even with the president's
supporters accidentally voting...

...for the wrong candidate you're still
gonna get creamed, fascist!

- This is an honor thing!
- Excuse me.

Yes. Hi.

- Did somebody steal your purse?
- Me? No.

- Okay.
- I'm on a mission.

I said I'd be 20 minutes. It's been six
hours and it's starting to get cold.

Okay. You were shouting at no one.

- Little guy. Bow tie.
- Long as you're okay.

Wait. Hang on.

Do you mind if I ask you
who you're voting for?

- I guess I do, yeah.
- That's fair, that's perfectly fair.

Let me ask you this instead: Are you
voting for Ritchie or the president?

- I'm gonna go inside now, okay?
- Lieutenant, I'm not a crazy person...

...I'm not asking you for the
bomb sequence on the USS Essex.

- Be a man, tell me who you're voting for.
- Ritchie, and you demoted me a rank.

I'm so sorry.

I'm seeing your shoulders now,
Lieutenant Commander.


Reese is a nice name. Reese what?

Lieutenant Commander Reese.
Jack Reese.

Can I talk to you?

You know, this is the first election I
haven't had to vote by absentee ballot.

I really wanted to pull the lever.

Absentee ballot, I know how you feel.
I'm from Wisconsin.

It's my home, but here I am in
Washington on Election Day.

I'm usually on a Los Angeles-class
sub in the South China Sea.

Don't trump me. It's not a battle.
We're in this together.

No, we're not.

I voted absentee in Wisconsin.

I voted for Ritchie.
I meant to vote for the president.

Now I think you should go in there and
vote the other way to make it a wash.

- Yeah, okay.
- Look...


Yeah, that sounds about right.

- I'm Donna.
- Jack.

- Commander.
- Jack's fine.


...why aren't you on a sub right now?

I haven't been for a little while.

- What's your billet?
- It used to be Regional Director for...

...the office of Joint Chiefs of
Southeast Asia, but I got transferred.

Nancy McNally's office.
She's the National Security Advisor.

- You're working at the White House?
- Yeah.


...I gotta go vote, okay?
- Yeah, sure.

Listen, I've got a photocopy
of my absentee ballot...

...if you wanna verify that I...
- No, no.

It's an honor thing, right?



Now there are late exits
showing even...

...with white male suburbans in
New York, Chicago and Philadelphia.

There's huge labor turnout, we're only
losing Florida by seven. Seven.

Toby, I think it's gonna be
bigger than we thought.

I stare at this and I stare at this...

...and I don't know which is
the boy and which is the girl.

I suppose that problem will
take care of itself.

You know, if you, if you stare
at them for a while...

...well, it's pretty gross, but still...
- I'm concerned you've turned...

...completely into another person...
- Hey.

I see one victory balloon before
this thing is called and...

Yeah, you better run.


- You read the stuff?
- Yeah.

- It wasn't long.
- Yeah.

I was impartial, right?
I gave you the best and worst of each.

Hey, Mr. Young...

...I'm not being disrespectful or nothing,
but I'm just trying to concentrate.

Listen, this is easy.
You can do it no problem...

...but if you need to,
you can ask for help, you're allowed.


Hey, listen, why does a guy who's
heading off to the Big Ten... about playing
St. Erasmus Academy on Saturday?

You're gonna be playing
Michigan and Penn State.

I don't know.

It's what I do on Saturdays.

Hey, you know what? I know I'm not
the sharpest tool in the box or nothing...

...but try rushing the quarterback,
you know what I'm saying?

You're not gonna get there,
you're not gonna touch him.

You're up.

He's a good guy, you know.
He does his business.

He just doesn't like
looking like a fool.

- How long did you hang onto the goat?
- Three days.

- Three days.
- Yeah.

What'd you feed him?

- Cheetos.
- Okay.


Hey, Anthony, I voted.

All right.

- I'm going again.
- No, no, no, no, no.

- Will!
- Come on.

Come inside and have
something to eat with us.

Come on.

- Will.
- Now!


Wow. What else can you do?

I didn't know I could do that!

- It's on. You can see it.
- Hey.

I'm not spitting, I'm not turning around.

Union households are
beating non-union.

- C.J. Can you pick up three?
- Yeah.

This is C.J. Thanks.

- What was that?
- You'll see in a minute.

Nine o'clock.

Good evening, Mr. President.

I feel like I should be self-deprecating.

I mean, it's not inauguration,
I can be funny, right?

I don't think so. It's the wrong note.
If I'm thanking campaign staff, maybe.

- What are you doing?
- We've got some news.



You're gonna win New Hampshire.

With seventy of the precincts reporting,
CBS is ready to declare Delaware...

... with its three electoral votes
for President Bartlet.

Closing an hour ago, NBC is putting
Maryland in the President's column.

With 22 percent of the vote
tallied in Maine...

Polls are closed in West Virginia...

The polls closing in Massachusetts
and Pennsylvania...

Halfway around the world in Bosnia,
in Chechnya, in Rwanda...

...they dream of the promise
we fulfilled today.

Of a future we choose,
for ourselves, together.

Sam, what's going on?

They're not calling it.

With 8 percent of the precincts
reporting, remains too close to call.

My goodness, if you lived
to be 100, did you think...'d ever see anything like this?
- I did not.

Four years ago, we were joined by
our highest ideals, by our best hopes...

...and tonight we're joined
by that same commitment.

To open new doors of
opportunity and justice.

To ensure that the promise of this
country is the birthright of all the people.

We've achieved so much together...

...always believing, always knowing that
America could be made new again.

And so it was, and so it will be again.

God bless you all.

God bless the United States
of America.

We're gonna skip the parties for a while
and head back to the office.

There are nine House races too close
to call. Tell him about California.

- In the California 47th...
- In the 47th... You don't tell it well.

In the 47th, Horton Wilde,
who's dead, is losing by 88 votes.

- It was a perfect storm.
- It was.

Low Republican turnout because
the president won the Midwest.

Low supporter turnout because
Webb had no opponent...

...and the DNC gave up on it
a week ago, so the RNC left town...

...and they never saw the exits
your guy, Will Bailey, was seeing.

Plus there was an actual storm.
I tell it fine.

We're gonna be up all night
with these. It's gonna be fun.

We should go.

- That was wonderful.
- That was fun.

- How are you feeling?
- I feel great.

- You want a glass of water?
- No, I'm fine.

You seem a little dry.

- Sure you don't want a glass of water?
- Yeah.

Maybe I should get you a glass
of water just in case... can hold it in your hand.

How'd you know?

You were off the prompter.

Just for a minute at the end.
I couldn't see it.

It's all right.

There are gonna be
more days like this.

It starts now.

It's gonna be harder this time.

Yeah, I know.

We can still have tonight,
though, right?

You got lots of nights.

Smart people who love you
are gonna have your back.

All right.

Excuse me. You wanna take
another curtain call?