The Vampire Diaries (2009–2017): Season 6, Episode 20 - I'd Leave My Happy Home for You - full transcript

Previously on "The Vampire Diaries"...

Kai is trapped in a 1903 prison world.

So Kai's gone?

As in for good.

I'm pregnant.

- Marry me.
- Yes!

I've always wanted a family.

It's never gonna happen for me.

Before the 1900s, Lily fell
in with a group of witches

that were cast out of the Gemini coven.

Heretics are ruthless,



vampires with witch power.

They can never be allowed to escape.

You turned me and left
me on a passenger ship

full of headless corpses.

No. The night I turned you,

my friends and I were
captured by the Gemini coven.

The ascendant is the only thing
that can get my people back.

If I was human, we wouldn't work.

Exactly.

The cure to vampirism.

I left it out for you to find

since Damon was never
going to offer it to you.

Why would you keep it a secret from me?

I'm so in love with you and
I don't want to lose you.



I don't want to live without you either.

You're gonna take the cure, Elena,

and I'm gonna take it with you.

Don't tell me... you've
bailed on your shift,

and you're headed here
to help me grade papers.

Aw. You know me so well,

except for the part where
I would rather be covered

in Mrs. Robinson's intestinal bile

than grading term papers.

So I'll take that as a no.

I just realized that tonight is
my last shift as a single woman.

I can't wait to marry you.

And I am counting the days.

Me, too.

- Dr. Laughlin?
- Yes.

Hi. I'm Officer Baker.

Is there somewhere private we can speak?

Sure.

- What's this about?
- I'm here regarding professor Saltzman.

I understand you two are
engaged to be married.

Is something wrong?

Nope.

Everything

is just right.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wow!

Oh... Oh, my God. No. I don't think so.

Surprise!

No, no, no. This is not really happening.

Whoo!

- Happy bachelorette!
- Happy bachelorette!

What the hell's going on?

Happy bachelor party!

An entire diner to ourselves?

Actual heaven.

If Caroline were here,

we would be planning a spa day.

But now she's M.I.A.

- Understandable.
- Considering...

So I figured we'd just stuff our faces.

You're geniuses.

Except aren't you a vegetarian?

Bonnie, don't ruin it.

I'm just saying that's not
exactly a garden burger.

The baby is not ok with the no meat thing.

Besides, it's my party,
and I'll eat what I want to.

I do wish this was vodka, though.

Right.

Hey. I don't want to know
what Ric's doing, do I?

Probably at the movies.

Yeah, or... or mini golf.

- Uh, uh.
- Uh.

I need ketchup.

So are we gonna talk about it?

- What?
- Seriously?

You're gonna make your best
friend have to pry it out of you.

I know about the cure, Elena.

You do?

How is it even possible?

Damon called me last night,

and he told me everything,
including his insane plan

to take it with you.

Damon called you?

He needed someone to talk to after you left

the conversation without telling him

what you were thinking.

That's not exactly how it happened.

And I quote...

"She stared at me like I was an alien

and then basically
teleported out of the room."

Damon Salvatore stands in front of you

and tells you that he wants
to become a human again.

Wouldn't you freak out?

I just... I needed some time to process.

I mean, 24 hours ago, I didn't even think

it was possible to become a human again.

But you want to be a human again.

Yeah.

Well, I did.

Honestly, it's all just
very complicated right now.

You guys aren't full, are you?

What do you mean you
offered to take the cure?

I just... I was standing there,

and it just sort of came out.

Ok. So how the hell does that even work?

It's easy.

Elena guzzles it, goes back

to her old human self,

I feed on her, and as long
as no one sucks it out of me,

then we grow old and
die of the common cold.

Ok. So you screwed up, and
now you're freaking out.

I didn't screw up.

Damon, if you take that cure,

you can never be a vampire ever again.

Right?

Listen to me.

You're writing checks your
ass can't cash, all right?

- Now you're getting cold feet.
- Are you projecting?

You seriously want to be a human?

I want to be with Elena.

And what did Stefan say?

Do you honestly want
to spend your last night

as a single man debating
my existential crisis?

Damon, tell me you told your brother

of 166 years that you're
planning on becoming human.

I will.

Eventually.

Hmm?

To you.

I'm sorry I'm late.

Well, considering the guy who lives here

tried to kill us a few
days ago, I don't blame you.

Yeah, but we're here for Ric, right?

I'm here for the free booze.

Ooh.

Beer plus pain meds equals
another trip to the hospital.

You chose now to learn math?

Who the hell invited you?

Damon.

Never been to a bachelor party before.

I can see the appeal.

- Where's Stefan?
- Don't know, don't care.

Hey! It's Caroline,

but, duh, you knew that because you called,

so leave a message,

and I'll call you back.

Bye!

You're so happy in your voicemail.

Speaking of happy, uh, that thumping bass

you hear in the background, that's, um,

Damon's genius idea to
host Ric's bachelor party

despite the fact that our mother

apparently lives here now,

who I've been ducking, by the way,

in case you haven't noticed.

I guess what I'm saying is call me back.

Otherwise, I'm gonna start
running out of reasons

to avoid everything that is

going on in my life right now.

Kind of like what you're doing,

which is completely understandable

but just really crappy
timing for me and my problems.

You should be here.

Come home.

That was utterly adorable.

What are you doing in my bedroom?

Oh, believe me, there are a
number of places I'd rather be...

Strapped to a gurney, having
my spleen cut out for instance.

Unfortunately for me, I'm here

because your mother needs your help.

My mother?

Apparently, her beloved
ascendant's been destroyed.

She's in bad shape.

Could use a bit of your time.

What the hell do you know about my mother?

Hello, mother.

I think it's time you and I have a talk.

This is entirely unnecessary.

I was merely getting a breath of fresh air.

Mmm.

What you got there, a junkie tic?

I have the same thing.

It's funny how that works, isn't it?

What is this, some kind of...

Mother and Son bonding experiment?

No, no. You made your
feelings for me perfectly clear

when you had to spin a web of lies

to snap my humanity back on.

I don't know what Enzo told you,

but I assure you I'm fine.

You know, Enzo told me a lot of things,

including that after losing all hope

of getting your friends back

you went off the deep end last night.

A momentary lapse.

I mean, I figured since you
passed the ripper gene on to me...

Thank you for that, by the way...

We could talk about it.

There's nothing to talk about.

You know... ahem...

Personally when I start feeling like

I'm gonna go over the edge,

I begin to salivate

in the back of my mouth.

Does that ever happen to you?

And then my veins, they
begin to itch uncontrollably,

and the hunger consumes me...

Every sound, every scent.

The world around me falls apart,

and all I can hear is the pulsing

of someone's blood,

and all I feel is that it belongs to me.

Heh.

But I guess you don't
have that problem, right?

Drinking yourself to death.

That your big plan for the future?

Just taking a page from your playbook.

Oh, sorry. All the pages.

Ahh.

How about we get out of here?

Come on.

I'll drive you home.

How's the deputy training program?

Is that why you're being a dick?

Part of it.

Remember, I'm on injured reserve,

so you'll have to fill me in.

Deputy Taylor finally
stopped calling me cupcake.

I guess that's progress.

Maybe that's because deputy Taylor's

on medical leave for a week

after you kicked his ass
in front of the trainees.

Yeah? Well, you know
what? He had it coming.

What the hell is wrong with you?

Are you that incapable of not raging out?

This program was a chance for you
to do something with your life.

No. That's what it is for you

because I realized one day doing this job

might mean that I have to shoot someone,

to kill them, and I don't ever want

to be a werewolf again.

It doesn't have to be like that, Ty.

You just need some self control.

Watch yourself, Matt.

Control it, Ty. Come on.

You're not worth it.

Where are you, and please tell me

you're with the stripper.

Picture that and then picture

the exact opposite.

I'm with our mother.

Now I don't want to picture anything.

Did you know that she was
the one who turned Enzo?

That's mathematically impossible.

Enzo turned in 19...

... 03. Apparently, they were on a boat

together back to New York.

He was sick, and she took pity on him.

And here we thought she didn't have

a maternal bone in her body.

She also has a little bit

of a ripper thing going on.

That little stunt you
pulled with the ascendant

put her in a blood tizzy.

Well, then why is she out and about?

Lock her ass up and
rejoin the party, brother.

Yeah, I will, if it comes to that.

Anything else?

Nope.

Just love to mom. Heh. Kidding.

See? Now that's what I call

a missed opportunity.

Perfect time to tell your brother

you're hanging up your
fangs for a pair of khakis.

No idea what you're talking about.

Yes, you do.

I might have plied
Alaric with enough alcohol

to slur the news into my ear.

Well, you are the last person

who gets to criticize me

for withholding information,

my brother from the same mother.

You were gonna tell me Lily turned you?

Yeah, once you mastered the
art of returning phone calls.

I've been busy.

What, with the prospect of taking the cure?

No point in agonizing. You
won't go through with it.

Says who?

You.

You're selfish, Damon.

Being human isn't what you really want.

I mean, don't get me wrong.
I like that about you.

A man should be consistent,

but take it from someone who you left

to burn to death in order
to save your own skin,

no one changes that much,

even under the magical
influence of Elena Gilbert.

Anyway, cheers, mate.

So basically, Damon did the vampire version

of a marriage proposal,
and you just walked away.

I said I would think about it.

Why are we talking about me?

This is your party.

Trust me, I would much
rather talk about that

than the fact that I have yet to find

a nonhideous wedding gown

or that I can't ask my
sister to be my maid of honor

because she won't return my phone calls

or the fact that I cannot stop eating

literally, like, ever.

So big decision. Go.

I think you should take it.

Decision made.

What if I miss the perks?

Like compelling the owner of a diner

to close early for us,

or what if I get sick?

Or what if the human you
doesn't love Damon anymore?

Someone had to say it.

That's ridiculous.

Being supernatural
doesn't change who you are.

I should know. I'm an ex Witch
who's about to marry an ex Vampire.

Deep down, you know who
you are and what you want.

Love's always gonna require
a huge leap of faith,

a big scary leap over a hot pit of lava,

and you might end up heartbroken,

but you might be the happiest
person on the face of the earth.

Personally, I'm glad I took that leap.

Speak of the devil.

_

Let me guess... you got a lap dance,

and now you feel guilty.

How'd you know?

Very funny.

You may have partied us under the table,

but at least I'm on a junk food high.

Is that why you're walking
around town, eating French fries?

Look up.

What are you doing up there?

Oh, I'm just clearing my head.

Asked a girl a really
big question last night.

She just sort of left me hanging.

Echh. What a flake.

That's all right.

She's probably just
doing some soul searching.

Want some?

You deliver?

Hmm.

See? Sublimating can be fun.

- You're mocking me.
- I am not mocking you.

I'm... I'm teaching you how to divert

an instinctual impulse

into a socially acceptable activity.

Look. It's either this or squirrel blood

unless you're a rabbit person.

You ever try to hunt a rabbit?

- Humbling.
- Imagine

cherishing something for 150 years

and then imagine that
being ripped away from you.

Believe me, it's devastating.

My friends are gone.

Let me grieve.

Your grief is attracting
a lot of attention,

and you're lucky I'm not Damon

because you would be
locked in a cell by now.

But not you.

You feel the need to connect,

or is this strictly a
ripper-to-ripper pep talk?

Reformed ripper,

who happens to think this relationship

is worth saving.

No. No. I can't do this.

You were the only one

who was able to flip my humanity back on.

Damon fed me a story.

And it worked!

All I'm saying is maybe deep down

you still feel something for me.

Stefan,

the woman who raised you

lived under the hand of a
cheating, abusive husband.

She was weak, she got sick and died,

and then a new Lily was born,

a powerful Lily who took what she wanted

and found a family that embraced her,

so when I look at you,

it's... it's not that I don't love you.

It's that I'm reminded
of that pathetic woman

when all I want to do is
forget that she ever existed.

Well, then let's start over,

clean slate,

and let me help you get through this.

We can start something new.

You just...

You have to trust me.

You never could look me in the eyes

when you were telling me a lie.

Aah!

Ugh! Ah!

Sorry about the mess.

I love it up here.

Soak it in while you can

and load up on fries

because transfat is no friend to humans.

Ha!

Did you mean it when you
told me you'd take the cure,

or were you just afraid that

you were gonna lose me?

Honestly, a bit of both.

Yeah. Well, here's what I'm afraid of.

I'm afraid that if you do take it

you'll lose something else that you love,

being a vampire,

and we're not gonna be
happy if you resent me

- for the rest of our lives.
- I don't know.

I'm pretty sexy when I'm resentful.

Seriously. Come on, Damon.

Are you ready to give all this up?

To be continued.

I want to show you something.

Where are we going?

Well, down for starters unless you
want to wuss out and take the stairs.

You only live once, right?

Once or twice.

You know, it's bad form to drink
a thousand dollar bottle of bourbon

all by yourself.

So you're really doing this, huh,

taking the plunge,

- starting a family here?
- Yeah.

- Guess that's the plan.
- Want some drunk advice?

- Sure.
- I've got 30 stitches in my side.

All my friends are killers except you.

You're a human,

which means it's a
miracle you're still alive.

You're a dick if you're ok
with bringing a kid into this.

Well, if that's your bachelor
toast, it really sucks.

Leave town. That's my advice.

Take your happy fiancee,

your unborn baby, and your miracle life

and get out

before it's too late.

You left dinner early because
you weren't feeling well.

You won't remember anything
unusual that happened here tonight.

Now go home.

Ahh. Broken glassware,

the overwhelming scent of fresh blood.

I see the family reunion
went without a hitch.

And what the hell took you so long?

I had to compel the
entire restaurant myself.

I was looking for Damon. Word is
that he took off to find Elena.

Yeah. Well, he's not picking
up his cell phone right now,

which means it's just you and me.

Just you and me.

Tsk. Aw.

Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

Suppose we ought to get used to it.

What the hell are you talking about?

Ahh.

That's right.

You haven't heard.

Damon has the cure,

and if we're to believe his bluster,
he plans on taking it with Elena.

Heh. I think I would know if my brother

were planning on turning human.

Based on the look of shock on your face,

you don't.

Ahh. So we can either stand here

and debate the merits of Damon's word,

or we can split up and find your mum

before she rips their heads off.

Which is it gonna be?

Bad news. Damon hijacked Elena,

so do you want to take
this party somewhere else?

Yes, to my bed if I can walk.

Oh, my God.

Good evening, Miss Bennett.

I was out for a walk, and I
saw you through the window,

and I thought,

"I know her.

That young lady ruined my life."

Who is this?

Lily Salvatore.

Be careful.

Bonnie destroyed something very dear to me,

and now all I feel is insatiable hunger.

I didn't do it to spite you, Lily.

I did it to keep Kai trapped.

Surely there's another
way to rescue my friends.

There is no other way,
and even if I could help,

I wouldn't.

Unh!

Now let it go

and get out.

Unh!

Your mistake.

No, please!

I'm pregnant!

Twins.

What?

Good luck to you.

Stay calm. I'm gonna help you.

What's your favorite thing
about being a vampire?

Well, I guess if I had to choose one thing,

it would be that I can heal people.

Said no vampire ever.

Ok. Well, then enlighten me.

I like all of it...

The speed, the feed,

everything so heightened,

and eternally looking great

in a black leather jacket's
not the worst thing.

I'm forgetting something, though.

Hmm.

Oh, I remember.

Getting in people's heads
is quite a bit of fun, too.

My old house.

You won't remember this,
but this is the first place

I ever kissed you.

Another very happy memory
Ric scrubbed from your brain.

But this isn't real.

It's a fantasy.

You put this in my brain.

Isn't that the point?

I mean, as epic as this life is,

we'd be giving up so much
more if we didn't do this.

I've had so much fantasy in my life, Elena,

enough for 100 lifetimes.

I'd give it all up for one life with you.

You brought it with you.

Well, I wasn't gonna
leave it in the soap dish.

I want this, Damon.

No matter how much it scares me,

I can't pretend that I don't.

I know you do.

You've wanted this since
the day you became a vampire.

For you, there's no going back.

That's never been my style.

And you're impulsive and reckless!

And madly in love with you

forever, no matter how
long that's gonna be,

and taking this cure,
Elena, won't change that.

I'm ready for a little reality if you are.

I love you.

Till death do us part.

Bottoms up.

How do you feel?

I don't know. I...

I kind of feel...

- It all looks so good.
- So what looks good?

- Sorry.
- You first.

How about eggplant parmesan?

You're an eggplant girl, huh?

Is that bad?

You don't like eggplant.

Love it. Just taking notes,

mental notes.

For what? For a second date?

I was thinking 5 year anniversary.

Hang on!

I'm gonna get you home.
You're gonna be all right.

Elena, hey.

Hey.

You scared the crap out of me.

I think I'm... I'm ok.

What happened?

We were on our first date.

What?

Yeah.

Damon! Damon... I'm getting...
I'm getting my memories back.

Damon, the cure, it
undid the compulsion. I...

It worked.

Yeah. Well, wait.

Ahh.

It's not healing.

Damon, it's not healing. That means it's...

it worked, it worked.

How you feeling about that?

I feel...

I feel like I want to kiss you.

Hang on.

It's Stefan.

Better be good, brother.

Elena and I are having a moment.

Damon, do not take that cure.

What?

How do you even know about that?

Lily got away from me, so it's
a really bad time to be a human.

- What's going on?
- You were right.

- We got to lock her up.
- What is he saying. I...

I can't hear anymore.

Apparently, mama Salvatore's...

I'm sorry, but I won't be imprisoned again.

I didn't have to turn into this person.

I kept her at bay for so long,

but my sons, they ruined everything.

They were just trying to help.

Look at me.

They're not helping!

You're bleeding.

You took the cure.

You're human.

You don't want to feed on me.

- Yes...
- Please.

Elena, I do.

No... No!

Aah!

Really? Come on.

Elena!

Focus.

- No...
- It's ok. It's ok.

Usually, we don't yank out penetrating
objects in the field, but don't worry.

Here. Squeeze my hand if
you have trouble breathing.

No squeeze?

Good. That's really good.

Come on. Up, up.

No, no. Don't... don't try and talk.

I heard what she said... twins...

Which means I'm number one
on Kai's most wanted list.

Congratulations. You have
been bumped to number two,

so thank you for destroying

that stupid ascendant, and I
hope you meant what you said,

that there's no way to get
out of that prison world.

I promise.

He's not getting out.

Worst bachelorette party ever, right?

Let's get to the hospital, ok?

I got to the tunnels.

She came through the Grill.

She might still be there.

We're right outside, so get home.

We'll deal with her.

Elena's safe. Get up.

- We need to find Lily.
- Yeah.

I'm fine. Thanks for asking.

Ugh.

So were you gonna tell
me, or was it just...

easier to be your normal, dickish self?

What do you think?

I think being a human is
the last thing you want.

I want to be with Elena, Stefan.

Do you have any idea
what it feels like for me

to have to hear it from Enzo,

to have no say as to whether
I lose my brother or not?

Ugh.

Of course I know what it feels like.

Why do you think I didn't tell you?

Can we go find our mother?

Look what you've done to your mother.

I'm a mess.

In a few days or months or years,

you'll feel different.

What does it matter if I'm alone,

terrified of falling off the edge?

I suppose I'd be like you, wouldn't I?

Sad and alone.

No, no, no, no, no.

You don't want to do that.

Please don't do that.

Stay alive for us, your sons,

the ones who I know that deep down inside

you still care about...

And who still care about you.

You're looking into my eyes.

You always had such pretty eyes.

You ok?

Hey. Oh, my God.

It's ok. It's not my blood. It's ok.

How... how's Bonnie?

She's fine. Damon gave
her some of his blood.

What about you? How are...
how are you? How's the baby?

It's, uh, babies actually.

Turns out there's two
of them cooking in there.

Twins.

Ok.

Look. The more the merrier.

Ha ha.

Even if Kai never escapes that prison,

my family's gonna try
and take them from us.

A new Gemini twin merge is the only
thing that can strip Kai of his power.

We won't let them find out.

How is that possible?

Because after the wedding,
we're gonna disappear.

We're gonna go somewhere where
your family can't find us.

Alaric, I can't ask you to
give your whole life up for me.

You, the baby... babies...

You are my life,

and all I care about is keeping you safe.

Good news from the front lines.

Bonnie is ok, Jo is ok,

and Lily has been laid down
for a long winter's nap.

Well, you look lost in thought.

I remember everything, every moment.

It's like a million tiny,
little pieces of my heart

have fallen back into place.

I remember the moment that we met,

the moment that we fell in love,

how much I didn't want to love you,

but it was like...

it was like I was being swept
up into a current. I... I...

- I was consumed by it.
- That's a good thing, right?

Damon, I remember everything,

every kiss,

every conversation.

I still don't see how that's bad.

We've already had this discussion, Damon,

about the cure on the island.

What? No. That was totally different.

Was it? Because I remember
it like it was just yesterday.

Take the cure with me.

That's how much I know this is real.

That's how certain I am
that I'm gonna love you

even after this is all over.

Take the cure.

Be human with me.

You know, I used to miss being human.

Now I can't think of anything
more miserable on earth.

You walked away from me

because you didn't want
me to change your mind

- because you don't want this.
- Hey. That was a long time ago.

- You haven't thought this through.
- What?! No!

You're so afraid of losing me
that you've convinced yourself

that you can endure a human life.

- Don't tell me what to think.
- Ok. Fine.

What about Stefan? What does he think?

I don't care what Stefan thinks!

I've made up my mind.
I'm not gonna have him

drown me in a fountain of guilt
and have me change my mind.

Damon, I love you

more than I ever thought
was humanly possible.

I'm not trying to hurt you,

but I can't let you do this,

not before you've let everyone in your life

try to talk you out of it, including you.

Hello?

Look who's awake.

Lorenzo, is that you?

Just wanted to make sure
you're in good hands.

Let me out so we can speak
like civilized people.

That's not gonna happen.

I can take it from here.

She's fragile.

She should be around someone she trusts.

I said I can take it from here.

I'll come visit, Lily.

This is a family matter now.

You know, earlier, you asked me

what it'd feel like to
have something I cherished

for 150 years ripped away from me.

You're right.

I'd be devastated.

A little late to win me over.

It's never too late. That's
the upside of eternity.

You'll be my mother for the next century

and the one after that
and the one after that,

and one day, maybe not soon,

but one day...

You'll see me as your son.

Stefan...

You have no idea what
devastation feels like...

But you will

because I am going to find
a way to get my people back,

no matter what it takes.

Come and get it.

Big breakfast for a big day!

It's time we get the
hell out of this place.