The Ultimatum: Queer Love (2023–…): Season 1, Episode 9 - Episode #1.9 - full transcript

[dramatic music playing]

[Lexi] A couple weeks ago,
I was ready to marry her,

but now it doesn't feel like
the same person I gave an ultimatum to.

You wanted me to figure out
what I wanted...

I wanted you to find out if that was me.

'Cause I've never been put first
in this relationship.

[Sam] Can you just entertain the idea that
the reason you don't like how I act now

is because I'm not just giving in
to all of your needs?

-That's not it. That's bullshit.
-And I'm paying attention to my needs?

I'm sorry. That's bullshit.

-This is not what I want in a marriage.
-Okay.



[tense music playing]

[Tiff] This trial marriage
symbolizes something

that is much deeper than the relationship
that we had back home.

It terrifies me.

She's saying that in three weeks,
if you don't propose, she's gone.

Are you ready for marriage today?

[Yoly] I did not think
I would fall for another person.

[Yoly] I don't want to lose you.

-Is Xander your "hell yes"?
-I can't say. It doesn't seem as cloudy.

As much as you deserve your "hell yes,"
I also deserve my "hell yes."

-What if I don't wanna let you go?
-Fucking give me a break.

[Mal] I'm shutting down.
It is done for me.

It is done. I'm done.

I looked at your Instagram
and saw you had been messaging Yoly.



It just feels like
you're stabbing me over and over.

Coming from a relationship with you,
the romance was very much there.

But Mal... I don't know
how to differentiate that right now.

I don't want to feel
like I'm a second pick.

[Vanessa] Please stay open with me

and don't close yourself off
from any possibility.

Because weeks ago you wanted to marry me.

I feel sad that I was not present.
I hate that.

We don't know where it's gonna end up.

-Do you trust me to figure it out?
-Yeah.

[Vanessa] I love you.

You deserve the world.
I've always thought that.

I hear you and see you
and believe you in what you're saying.

But I want you to know
I'm still in love with somebody else.

[dramatic music rises and fades]

[pop music playing]

♪ And they're deeper now ♪

It's always been you. I know it's you now.

And, if it's not now...

I promise to come looking for you
in the next lifetime.

But not without asking you...

will you do life with me?

And will you marry me?

[music halts]

[Yoly exhales]

Is that a yes?

You know I don't care about the ring.

[gentle, emotive music playing]

[Mal] I know.

What took you so long?

I don't know. But I'm here.
I want to do this with you.

I swear,

I promise to spend my life choosing you.
We'll work through all of this.

-My left knee is killing me.
-Get back up.

[Mal chuckling]

♪ Feel like I belong ♪

♪ Catch me ♪

[Yoly] You promise?

[Mal] I love you.

I'm sorry it took me so long.

♪ Catch me ♪

The ring looks good on you.

You look like my wife.

That's what you look like.

I thought it would be so much harder.

I've wanted you.

I have to ask. Um...

It feels like it took
your back being against the wall,

and to see me... about to walk away,

and to maybe even have another person

willing and ready to give me
everything I've asked for right away

for you to, like,

be ready.

You don't have to worry about my back
being against the wall to move forward.

I thought everything comes, like...

Right after this, we're, like, calling
our realtor friends, we're house-hunting.

We're figuring out baby-planning.

In my mind, I thought that those are
all the things that come right now.

You need to have
those things in line right away.

That's what I've been taught.

Then I got different perspectives,
and I started hearing your voice,

'cause you've never told me
you needed all those things.

I never did.

I just wanted your commitment.

I just want to move forward,
create the life that we said we want.

You don't have to push me for that.

I'm here.

Let's work with each other.
Let's create this life that we want.

[Yoly sniffles]

It's pretty.

It's really pretty.

What you said was beautiful.

It's beautiful hearing your words.

I'm like, that's all
I've ever wanted to hear. Um...

[exhales] I think
it's only fair for me to say

that I've been really, really,
really, really fucking hesitant,

up until this moment,

of who to choose,

or what...

Or even just to choose myself.

We love each other, you and I.

But I feel like I would be dishonest
if I didn't say that, if...

if you had not shown up
exactly the way you have,

I would be very pressed
to explore life with somebody else

that wants what I want, how I want it,
when I want it, and chooses me.

Xander very much wants
to go forward with me and explore that.

I've never disrespected
your love for Xander

or you guys' relationship,
and I won't start now.

Okay.

I know this has been very hard for you.

I can't imagine
how difficult it is for you.

You've never not said
that you were in love with two people.

That's never...
It's never not been the case.

I knew that before proposing to you.

I wasn't lying to you when I told you
I'd work through things with you.

I know where you're at.

-I know how you feel.
-[inhales sharply]

[breathing shakily]

You okay?

Yeah.

You know I got your back, no matter what.

You sure you're okay?

[poignant music playing]

[breathes deeply]

I see you.

I see you way deeper
than you think I do. I see you.

I still love you.

I don't want to feel
like I'm fighting to get you back.

I want to walk into this together.

I wouldn't say yes if I wasn't feeling
capable of walking into this together.

Okay.

Do you believe in us?

I do believe in us.

I love you, Yoly.

[music swells, trails off]

I love you too.

♪ Through the darkened night ♪

♪ I will follow where you go ♪

♪ I will follow ♪

["Won't Catch Me Falling" plays]

[Mildred] Two months ago,
I gave my partner, Tiff, the ultimatum.

We either get engaged, or we're done.

To be honest,
I don't know what's gonna happen,

because we've been up and down.

I like this one.

I'm scared because I could potentially
lose a person that I love so much.

♪ 'Cause I'm making my way ♪

♪ Live another day ♪

♪ Yeah, I feel it in my bones ♪

♪ I can do this on my own ♪

[Tiff] Before coming in here, I felt like
this experience was gonna go by slow,

but it actually went by really quick.

The choice I'm making,
it's in my gut, it's in my heart.

I think that's the greatest gift
of this experience.

Now I know what it is I want.

What it is I don't want.

I know that this is gonna be
the biggest decision of my life,

and it's probably
the scariest moment of my life.

[brooding, wistful pop song playing]

[Mildred] I always knew
that I wanted to marry Tiff,

but, when we would fight,
it was always blaming, blaming, blaming.

The power to be able to look into myself,

that's one of the hardest things
I've ever had to do.

I ultimately know what I want,

but all the thoughts of
"What if...? What if...? What if...?"

It creeps up on you.

[Tiff] I think we've come a long way.

I know every single fiber
in Mildred's being wants to be with me.

But can we actually communicate?

Because I need a partner
to lean in to love instead of anger.

I'm extremely confident
in the decision I'm making today,

and I know that
whether I get down on one knee or not

is going to alter
the course of my life forever.

[Mildred] I'm feeling so overwhelmed.

I have never felt this nervous in my life,
and I'm just hoping for the best.

But, if she doesn't propose,
I'm ready to walk away.

[music fades out]

Hi.

Hi.

[Tiff sniffs]

Um...

The first day I met you,
I brought you here.

-I see all the contrasts in the water.
-[Tiff] Yeah.

I think about you.

-It's really beautiful.
-[Tiff] Yeah.

So... it's been one hell of a ride.

[exhales heavily]

Yeah. It's been... It's been a lot.

Yeah.

Not just, like, the past experience,
but, like, just our relationship itself.

It's been, like, so much.

-[Tiff] Mm-hm.
-So, so much.

Yeah.

I feel like a lot of my emotions before
were really bottled up,

and I felt like there was this, um...

I don't know, this block
that was going on between you and I.

You know?

I feel like
being on this experience has allowed me

to put my soul
and my feelings on the line.

I've been learning so much about me.

I've been learning a lot about you too.

I know we still fight. [chuckles]

I know that that's
gonna continue to happen.

But I have to see it through the lens of,

"Is this someone that
I want to spend the rest of my life with?"

What about you?

Were you done talking?

I'm sorry.

I know the past two years
has definitely been rough.

There were so many ways I didn't show up

when you needed it.

I was physically there...

but I wasn't there.

I... I fucked up a lot.

Wasn't always the best version of myself.

Regardless of why you pushed me away
or how you pushed me away or any of that,

you did still show up.

You know, sometimes, when we meet someone
and we're so crazy about them,

we think that everything should be fine,

and everything should be
just perfect and easy.

I hear that word a lot.
"It's so easy to be with you."

But I think that in reality,
it's the hard things.

It's the hardships that we go through,
and it's all the challenges along the way.

And that is what, like,
has brought us together.

Being in a trial marriage was
one of the hardest things,

but was so rewarding
in the sense that, like,

I learned so much about us and about you.

Being on this experience with you has
taught me so much about our relationship,

and where we're at,
and how freaking crazy we are.

We already knew that.

We're crazy,
but we're crazy for each other.

Everything that I've been through
in the last two months, I just...

[quirky, magical music playing]

A lot of things make sense
in our relationship.

A lot of the things,
a lot of questions that I had,

a lot of the things that made me leave,

a lot of the things
that led me to break up with you,

like, all of those answers that
I didn't have before, they now make sense.

-Yeah.
-I don't think you're perfect.

But your perfectness is not
what made me fall in love with you.

It's... It's all your flaws.

Like, I see you,
but I'm excited to be with you.

I just want to tell you that...

Oh my God.

I just... I don't know...

I love you so much.

And I love you unconditionally.

I want you to love me
in that same way that I love you.

I spent two years of my life with you,
wanting to hear the words "I love you,"

and I'm afraid that...

that, like,

you might not love me unconditionally.

And I'm just so afraid because I know,
at the end of the day, that's what I want.

So I'm bringing to you
my fears and my insecurities

and telling you how much I love you.

And how much I believe in us.

Thank you for sharing that with me.

Um...

Honestly, from the bottom of my heart,

even though it was a fucking
roller coaster, all of this shit...

[chuckles lightly]
...I'm very grateful for this experience.

I just want to tell you something.

Love...

[gentle music builds slowly]

...is a very short word.

It's easy to spell
and more difficult to define,

but it's impossible to not live
a life without craving to breathe its air.

And that's what I love about you.

Your simplicity, your complexity,

intertwined within the depths
of your irresistibility.

Like... a perfect blend of it all.

Like a perfect blend, such as the coffee
that you make me in the morning,

just the way I like.

You keep our relationship
passionate, adventurous,

spontaneous, and fun,

just the way I want.

And you show me support
in my darkest of moments.

Just the way I need.

And...

it's impossible not to crave
everything that you are.

And what you are to me...

is love.

It's easy to fall in love
with your smile, your laugh, your eyes.

It's more difficult to wrap my mind around

our crazy, up-and-down,
intense, deep connection

that you and I share.

But it's impossible
to not love you through it all.

Until my very last breath.

[gentle music playing]

I love you.

Mildred, will you marry me?

-[Tiff] What was that?
-[Mildred] Yes! Yes!

[rousing, upbeat music playing]

Yes. Yes.

♪ Tell me, what's there to lose? ♪

♪ We'll run ♪

[Mildred] Oh my God.

♪ We'll break all the rules ♪

You better marry me.

[both chuckle]

-I promise to be better for us.
-Me too.

I'm so happy.

And we're moving in together.

You got what you wanted. [chuckles]

-You.
-I mean, yeah, I–

I wanted you. I want you.

Okay, well, you got me, all right?

-[Mildred] I love you so much.
-I love you.

-I'm so happy.
-[both chuckling]

I don't wanna let go of you.

[Tiff] Oh my God, I hope not.

I'm so happy!

I'm really... I'm really happy too.

-I'm so happy.
-I feel like it's, uh... it's about time.

It's about damn time, and I'm sorry.

[both chuckle]

-We're engaged.
-Wow. Is this what it feels like?

[Tiff chuckles]

-[Tiff] Who am I?
-You're my fiancée.

[both] We're engaged!

You're so stupid, babe.

Is that what's next?

[Tiff laughs]

[Mildred] You're my love.

I love you so much.

[Tiff] Me too.

[Mildred] I love you so much.

["Wake Up" by B3autiful Cr3atures plays]

[singers vocalizing]

[Sam] There were definitely
very trying moments

within the past couple of months,

but we're finally here,
and I'm feeling ready.

Throughout my time
being here in this experience,

I've come to the realization that
there are multiple layers to my ultimatum.

I don't think it's just about getting
engaged and somebody not being ready.

I think that I just deserve
someone who's willing to grow with me.

And, you know, I don't think I can be
tied down by someone else's stuckness.

♪ Is it too late to turn back now? ♪

♪ Wish I could just close my eyes
Wake up ♪

♪ To it all just being a bad dream ♪

[Aussie] I was ready to walk out of
this experience at one point.

I was ready to throw the towel in.

And I stuck with it,
and I'm so grateful that I did.

But today...

Ah...

I'm feeling really scared.

[chuckles]

It's now time to make my final decision.

I don't think
I slept that much last night.

Just thinking about what I'm gonna say.

I'm still going back and forth in my head.

Dealing with difficult situations
and people

has been my, you know,
weakness, I suppose.

It's not gonna be
rainbows and butterflies,

but that's where
the rubber meets the road.

[singers vocalizing]

♪ Wish I could just close my eyes
Wake up ♪

♪ To it all just being a bad dream ♪

♪ The part where we break up ♪

♪ Only happened deep in my sleep ♪

[singers vocalizing]

♪ When will I wake up, wake up? ♪

[Sam] Eight weeks ago,
I issued an ultimatum.

Up until this point, I've always just been
so sure that I found my one.

["Who Calls it Love" playing]

But, at the same time,

I've come so far
in my own personal journey,

and we still have some issues
that we would have to deal with.

I don't know if Aussie is
ready to be what I need for me.

♪ We can say it's just a game ♪

I have a really tough decision to make.

I'm going to have to do
what I know is right for me.

♪ Who calls it love? ♪

♪ Who calls it love? ♪

♪ That leaves us all in pain ♪

[Aussie] When I first
walked into this experience,

I used to think that
in order to get married,

I had to be the most perfect person,

the most perfect kid,
the most perfect anything.

And I felt like I'm not good enough
to get married to Sam.

["Supernatural" by Tribal Blood plays]

There's also this side of fear for me
about commitment.

"Am I gonna marry her?
Maybe I'm not the one for her."

♪ Someone has the power ♪

♪ Someone holds the key ♪

[Sam] It's an overwhelming,
like, out-of-body experience.

This could be our last moment together.

♪ I don't know what's human ♪

♪ It's all a mystery ♪

[song trails off]

[Aussie] Oh.

[speaking indistinctly]

Wow.

-[Sam laughs]
-So amazing.

-Thank you.
-Wow.

[both chuckling]

[Sam] I've seen so many butterflies.

[Aussie] I have too.

You know how yellow butterflies
are like my grandma?

I saw one too.

-I saw the monarch, which is your grandma.
-Yeah.

My grandma, yes.

And then coming up the path
was a little baby lizard...

[Aussie] Aw!

...which is like my uncle.

[both laughing]

And he was just staring at me.

[laughter]

-In your beautiful dress.
-Yeah.

Aw, and you're beautiful.

Yeah, the whole idea of marriage...

I was so scared

to choose my life partner, you know?

There are just so many
of those moments of just, like...

you walking away.

And it took this crazy experience,
but I felt it.

[somber music playing]

I try really hard to support you
in the way that you're asking,

and I finally was able to hear you.

This experience has brought me
to redefine marriage for myself.

There's a little story
behind this decision.

-And I'd like to tell you that first.
-Okay.

[somber music fades out]

[sighs] So there are two species
of penguins that live in the Antarctic,

and when they find their life mate,

they search along the shoreline
of the pebble beach

and look for the right rock,

the perfect rock,

to present to their life mate.

I feel that was a story I could relate to

because I feel like
I've found my lifelong mate in you,

and I'd like to present you

with my version... [laughs]

Okay... Of a rock?

...of a rock.

[both laughing]

To present to you to, um...
represent our love.

And also that
I've actually come a long way, you know,

to be able to find
my perfect life partner.

[Sam] Mm-hmm.

So I would like to present to you
a heart-shaped...

It's the most powerful
labradorite protection gemstone.

[Sam] Mm-hmm.

And, um... so I choose you.

[tense music playing]

[Sam] Um...

Thank you.

[chuckles]

I'd like to share a little more,
if you'll let me,

of my journey to finding
my perfect rock for you.

And how far I've come to realize that

you are the most perfect...

[chuckles nervously]

...partner for me.

Through thick and thin,
I think that we've shown ourselves

what we're capable of.

So, um...

I'd like to present you
my search for my perfect rock.

[Sam chuckling] Oh my goodness.

[dramatic music playing]

Will you...

Will you marry me?

[chuckles softly]

Yes.

["How Love Begins" plays]

[Sam] It is so beautiful.

Oh my goodness.

♪ Think about how love begins ♪

♪ Think about, think about ♪

♪ Think about how love begins ♪

Guess what happened?

-Boom! Boom!
-Ultimatums aren't all bad.

[both laughing]

The happiest day of my life, boo.

[Sam] I can feel you shaking. I know I am.

[laughter]

-I have been shaking since last night...
-Yeah?

[laughing] Pacing up and down.

It's weird seeing you with lipstick.
Let's get rid of some of that.

[both laughing]

Did you think
I was gonna give you, like, just that?

-I don't think so.
-No?

You would've been fine
if I just gave you that?

No.

[both laughing]

["How Love Begins" resumes]

No.

-This is so beautiful.
-I'm glad I got the ring, then.

♪ How love begins ♪

[Aussie] I love you so much.

I love you.

[singer vocalizing]

♪ Think about ♪

[singer vocalizing]

♪ Think about how love begins ♪

[pensive music playing]

[Xander] I walked in here eight weeks ago
ready to marry Vanessa.

I never anticipated doing
anything less than that.

I've always wanted to be loyal to her,
and, like, that's what she deserves.

That's what anyone deserves,
being in a relationship.

♪ I can be a fighter ♪

We had this great foundation.

But also, I did get
an emotional and physical connection

with someone else that was not her.

That's really upsetting for her.
And for me.

♪ I'm holding out for us
To make it through the storm ♪

Coming into this experience,
I didn't expect... [chuckles] ...this.

I'm not really being given
an ultimatum anymore.

It's like she took it away.

I thought I was going to
have to make a decision at the end,

and it turns out, really, she is.

[Xander] We're not the same people
we were just two months ago.

Everything's so confusing.

I don't think that I know yet
who I want to give myself to.

I just know that I do want
to choose what's best for me.

And it's hard.

♪ But we don't give up the fight ♪

[Vanessa] Through my relationship
with Xander, she gave me so much love.

That is what I want.

And I think it took a little bit
of time alone to really feel that weight.

But I'm as ready as I'll ever be
to hear what Xander has to say today.

♪ Maybe I could help us fly
Before we fall ♪

["Let it Rain" plays]

♪ Now this is how the story goes ♪

♪ One foot in and one foot out ♪

[Vanessa] This whole experience
has been such a mindfuck. [chuckles]

I'm 30 years old,

and for 30 years of my life,
I didn't see marriage in my future.

Settling down in a home with one person.

But when I realized
Xander was connecting with someone,

it, like, flipped a switch in me.

I realized I wanted her to be all mine.

It's been a roller coaster, obviously.

But I look back
on our four years together,

and I can recognize the love
that was obviously, evidently there.

So I am confident going into this day,

knowing how I feel,
knowing what I deserve,

and knowing where
I want our relationship to go.

♪ I'll be on my knees
I'll be begging, please ♪

♪ Give me the strength I need ♪

[Xander] I gave Vanessa the ultimatum
because we've been dating for four years,

and we can't just keep dating forever

with me knowing that
I want to get married and you don't.

My trial marriage with Yoly
showed me there is someone else

I can have feelings for.

You know, she wants marriage
and kids and all of those things.

Even though I have these thoughts of Yoly
in my head, and that's a very real thing,

I truly love Vanessa unconditionally.

Despite so much that
we've been through in our four years,

I'm just like, "Damn, I love you, though."

I really cannot imagine
my life without her in it.

And if Vanessa and I
don't walk out of here engaged,

I am definitely risking
losing her forever.

That's so hard to admit.

No matter what, this decision
will be completely life-changing.

[dramatic music building]

[music trails off]

[birds chirping]

[Xander] You're beaut...

So good to see you.

-You look so good.
-[Vanessa laughs]

[laughing] You look amazing.

[Xander laughs]

You're so beautiful.

I can't believe we're here.
I can't believe we made it to this point.

I know.

-It's wild.
-It's definitely hard to sleep.

I feel like you need to talk first.
[chuckles]

I cannot imagine
not having you in my life.

For the past four years,

I've gotten to wake up happy
nearly every day.

-And that's because of you.
-[gentle music plays]

You taught me how to cook,
how to swim, how to shuffle cards.

[chuckles]

You've made the most mundane tasks
like grocery shopping, like,

so exciting, and it feels
like an adventure every time.

You're a huge part of me,
and I'm so thankful for that.

[gentle music fades]

This experience has been really hard.

It's definitely not what we expected,
and I know that.

But I do feel like you've showed me
so much love and support

over the past few weeks.

I feel like that we're gonna leave
better than how we came.

And I'm gonna love you forever.

[gentle music resumes]

I know that I've dreamt
about proposing to you before.

[inhales deeply]

[Xander] In all of those dreams,

it was with us both feeling a lot more
confident and secure in our decision.

And I feel like...
that's not where we're at right now.

Which sucks.

I wish I could give you the world.
I thought I was gonna be able to.

I thought I was gonna be able
to make everything you wanted,

all your dreams, come true.

And you deserve a lot more
than what I can offer you right now.

[Vanessa exhales]

[Vanessa] My heart's been slowly breaking
over the past two months.

This is absolutely not
how I thought this experience would end.

Yeah, me either.

I never realized how much
I needed to grow until coming here.

I just thought, "I love myself as I am,

and I don't see
anything I need to change."

But coming here, I realized there were
a lot of things I did want to change

about who I am in a relationship,
and just who I am in general.

And I'm really proud of the person I am,

and the person I think I'll become.

I have been holding on to hope...

the Xander that I took to The Nutcracker
and drank prosecco with in Venice,

and built a gingerbread house with,

and went on a boat ride with in Kauai,

that that Xander
is gonna resurface for me.

I want to feel that love from you so badly

that I've just been accepting
any bread crumbs you give me.

Part of the scariness of this all is

facing the unknown
of what it feels like to not be with you.

To see you move on with someone else,

to maybe see you start
a family with someone else,

and to feel that loss
of the future that I wanted for us.

[tearfully] Thank you
for our four years together.

They changed me.

I don't know who I would be
without those four years with you.

[sobbing softly]

I will always love you.
You're the reason I know what love is.

[sobbing]

We'll meet again if it's right,
and it might be at a taco truck,

or it might be in another life
when we're both birds.

But the universe brought us together,
after we didn't think it would,

and it might happen again.

And I'm gonna hold out hope for that.

[somber music playing]

[Xander] I love you so much.

[Xander exhales deeply]

[Xander sniffles]

You're so strong.

I'm not strong.

I'm not strong. You have no idea...

You have no idea
what it's like to feel you slipping away.

Oh fuck.

[somber music ends]

For four years, I really felt like
you viewed me as the one for you,

and you would love me deeply forever,
and choose me over and over.

[soft music plays]

You know me.

You've loved me.

You know my fears, my insecurities.

You know everything.
You know everyone in my life.

I never thought you wouldn't choose me.

I wish I could still give you that. I do.

I don't know how I'm going to stop seeing
you as the person that I'm in love with

and want a future with.

That's what I see
when I look at you, even right now.

Even after we said all that.

Maybe like you said... another time.

I love you.

I love you.

I will love you forever.

I... don't understand
why you don't want to grow alongside me.

I don't understand it.

Unless it's about you exploring
something with someone else.

We... had the best relationship.

-I loved it.
-Ugh, I hate past tense.

Me too.

["The Power to Hold You" playing]

[Xander] I know she loves me,
and I think she knows I love her.

But I think... that we both know that...

we're not supposed to be together
right now, if maybe not ever.

As much as I really wanted
to marry her three months ago,

I think, because I knew
she never wanted to get married and I did...

And then, now it's flip-flopped,
and I don't know.

Yes, we were very compatible
and, like, great partners together,

but we were never on the same page,
and we're still not on the same page.

So, at some point, I think
that I knew that this would be, like,

our... the end of our story.

A huge part of it is
I did fall in love with someone else,

and that's so not where
I thought I was gonna be

today or in this experience at all.

And I have to figure out
what that means for me.

I still have to talk to Yoly today.

And I definitely still want
to get married and have kids, like, soon.

So... I don't know.

I should go figure out,
like, what my next step is.

♪ You really think it's worth it? ♪

♪ Worth another try? ♪

[Yoly] Eight weeks ago,
I issued the ultimatum,

and I thought I was so sure of myself
and of what I wanted.

And so I told Mal yes,
while being in love with somebody else.

And I'm still kind of...

left...

wondering if I made
the best decision for myself.

Oh God...

If Xander were to fight for me,
I don't know...

I don't know.
I don't know what I would say.

I kinda just want to hear where she's at.

Hi.

[Xander] You look beautiful.

[Yoly] Your haircut looks great.

[Yoly] Thank you.

How was your morning?

[Yoly laughs]

You know, I don't know.

[laughing] Okay, calm down.

[Xander laughs]

Hi.

Hi.

[chuckles] I just am, like...

[Yoly sighs]

[Yoly exhales]

I like that you told me to calm down.

-Why?
-Nervous.

About?

You know what.

I guess I kinda wanna first ask you...

[Xander] Mm-hmm.

...where you're at with Vanessa.

[Xander] So, this morning was really hard.

-You saw her this morning?
-Yeah.

Uh, it was really hard.

We both agreed that it wasn't, like,
the best thing for us to be together.

I have too much going on,

and a lot of it has to do with,
like, feelings for you.

So...

[gentle music playing]

[grunts]

[Yoly] Hold me.

Definitely.

[Yoly] I want this.

[gentle music fades out]

I feel like neither one of us
expected this at all.

And it definitely took me by surprise.

And I think it's probably gonna take a lot
of our friends and family by surprise too.

We have a very obvious connection.

And I realize that,
outside of this experience,

we're gonna have to work a lot
to get through, like, obstacles,

but I truly believe that
you and I could do that together.

I love the way that you make me feel.

I feel that we have this crazy,
stupid love for each other, and I love it.

And it makes me feel incredible.

And I would really regret,
like, leaving here and this experience

if I didn't, like, make you
confident about how much I love you

and, like, how much I do want you.

Because I feel like
you and I could work out so well.

And could have a beautiful life together.

[gentle music resumes]

[Yoly] Thank you.

You feel pretty confident about us?

Yeah.

Me too.

[gentle music fades]

I know that
my life with you would be great.

Um...

Oh God.

Fuck.

[emotional music building]

Um...

Mal proposed this morning.

I said yes.

And, um... I wanted to take the ring off
before seeing you,

mainly because I didn't want it...

I just wanted to...
I still wasn't sure where you were at.

And it was really hard
to have to be like, "Yes."

"But I need you to know I'm still
very in love with somebody else,

and it doesn't make it go away."

"And it doesn't make us and everything
that we've gone through go away."

[music fades out]

It's not easy to hear.

Do you feel confident in your choice?

I don't want to let you go.

And I don't know what to fucking do.

I just don't fucking know.

I love you.

This isn't a matter of
not loving you or not believing in us.

I very much, very much do,
which has made this so fucking difficult.

It's not from lack of love.

Everyone's been like,
"Pick love, pick yourself."

But I think picking myself
would be picking you.

And I'm so conflicted in that.

I feel it for you in my heart,
and I feel it for Mal in my head.

It's easier to know
in your, like, head about Mal

because you do have, like, the history.

I mean, it makes sense.

It was so not what I imagined
my engagement to be like.

-Yeah.
-But it's where I'm at.

-I don't want to let you go.
-I'm finding it hard to know what to say.

-I'm sorry.
-I know...

No, don't. You don't have to.
You 100% don't have to.

I feel like, at some point, every part
of me wanted to be your "hell yes."

And what you just told me,
like, it doesn't change any of that.

You still feel that?

Ah, it sucks to lose you. [chuckles]

[dramatic music plays]

You know I love you.

I love you too.

[Xander] I love you.

[Yoly] Want to walk off with me?

Let's just fucking walk off.

Okay.

[quiet sobbing]

[Yoly] I love you.

[sniffling, sighing]

This is so fucking hard.

[Xander] I know.

[Yoly] I don't want to leave without you.

I'm sorry.

[Yoly] You're perfect. You know that?

You know that. [sniffles]

[sighs]

All I can think to say is that,

if love were enough,
I would 100% be by your side.

There's just, like,
a different sense of loyalty

that I think I'm being drawn to.

[Xander] Mm-hmm.

-See it through.
-It's... I have to.

I trust you.

Thank you for that.

Of course. I mean it.

I know you do.

I know you do.

[sighs, chuckles]

[Yoly sniffling]

[Yoly] I don't want this shit. [sniffles]

[ragged breathing]

I'm not in love with Mal
the same way I'm in love with Xander.

Mal. Yoly chose Mal.

Why do I feel
like I'm walking away from my love?

I feel like shit.

I'm not sure
if I'll see Yoly again. Maybe.

[producer] Do you want to see Yoly again?

I mean, yeah.

[Yoly] Xander.

[tense music builds]

What?

[Yoly] I'm sorry.

It's going to be okay.

[producer] Do you think
Yoly made a mistake today?

No.

-I love you.
-I love you.

I love you too.

[dramatic, intense music playing]

I think you guys got enough.

I think you guys got enough.

[music fades out]

["I'll Never Be an Angel" playing]

♪ I wanna burn brighter ♪

♪ And tear down the wall ♪

♪ I can be a fighter ♪

♪ But I don't need another war ♪

[Lexi] It's the morning
of the big decision,

and I am very nervous.

It's hitting me how real
everything is becoming.

This relationship with Rae is
more than I could ask for.

It's all I really want.

I'm remembering all of the good times.

I'm remembering so many moments
that we've had together,

and they've been beautiful.

But I feel proud of myself
for everything I've done here.

I don't regret this experience.

I don't regret any of the tough moments,

and I certainly don't regret
the good ones.

Regardless of what the outcome is,
I will not wish I did anything different.

♪ I'll never be an angel ♪

♪ Maybe I could keep
The devil from your door ♪

I always wait last minute
to make a decision,

and here I am, the day of.

I'm making one of the biggest decisions
in my life,

and I don't know
how it'll pan out later today.

I've been thinking about it all morning.
It's just churning in my head.

Why was I in this relationship
for three years?

Why have I been envisioning
a life with Lexi?

But I'm like, "Oh fuck. It takes
a lot of work to be in a marriage."

I don't know if I'm ready to do that.

I know it'll be different
when I see Lexi face-to-face

instead of staring at a Polaroid.

I'm really hoping that today
brings me some magical clarity.

I'm still a little nervous.

I don't know what the words are gonna be.

-["The Fault Lines" playing]
-♪ This is the moment ♪

♪ It's the cold, it's the flames ♪

♪ It's the fault lines ♪

[Lexi] I am ready
to make the final decision.

I'm scared that she's not ready
to make the final decision for me.

This is the type of relationship
you think is going to become forever.

What happens if it ends?

And it really can end here.

This could be
the first moment of the rest of your life,

or it could be
the last moment of Rae and Lexi.

I have to be ready
to walk out of here alone.

♪ I keep my hopes up ♪

♪ And I'm turning the stone into stories ♪

Two months ago, I issued Rae the ultimatum

because, for better or for worse,
good or bad, I was ready to marry her.

But there's been
a lot of crazy moments here

that have made me question
why I came here.

I'm overwhelmed with everything
that we have together.

Rae's been my home,
my safety, my partner, my best friend.

Being on the other side of that storm
and seeing this incredible rainbow,

that's what I want.

[Rae] Knowing someone is the one
is a hard question for me.

I don't know
if I'm supposed to know or when,

or if it's supposed to be
some movie, like, snap,

where the picture just comes into focus.

But I think Lexi and I have
grown a lot in this experience.

We are the closest
we've ever been to the answer.

["Time Is Running Out" plays]

♪ You're gonna get what you deserve ♪

♪ Your time is running out ♪

I don't know if I can ever be
100% sure about anything.

But I know I've made a decision,

and that, for me, is my 100%.

♪ Your time is running out ♪

[song fades out]

[exhales sharply]

-Hey, baby.
-Hi.

Hey.

Hey. Let's sit down.

-[Rae sighs]
-Hi.

Hi.

-Let me just breathe for a second.
-Okay.

Gimme... [chuckles]

Give me, like, 30 more seconds.

You can have at least 60 if you need 'em.

I almost cried when I saw you.

[sighs]

[breathing deeply]

As you know, like,

I'm, like, not the most certain of people,

which obviously got us
into this whole mess to begin with.

Um...

Throughout this whole process,
I've kinda spiraled, right?

With the what-ifs, and thinking of, like,

"Okay, how does this end?
What are the different things?"

But I think, for me,
I finally took a step back.

I was like, "Okay..."

"Within the three years
we've been together, what do I love?"

"And why do I envision a future with you?"

-And then it's like the little things.
-[soft music plays]

Um... How you let me pick out which oysters
I wanna eat and you eat the creepy ones.

And the creepy calamari.

How every time you come into the house
after you've made a steak,

you say the same exact fucking thing.

[laughs]

"I've done it again.
I've made the best steak."

"It's perfect."

Um, and it always is.

Just, like, our adventures,
you know, going skiing.

How you can look down
a black diamond and do it,

but you go at a snail's pace
over a box that's barely above the ground.

Um, you're just so, like, tenacious
and just go after what you want.

[exhales]

Sorry. [clears throat]

How you're just so kind
to everyone that crosses your path.

How you fiercely protect all the people
in your family, all your friends.

You make me just feel safe,
protected, and just loved.

Come here.

I just wanna grow with you.
I wanna keep growing our home together.

I want us to keep challenging each other.
We've done that a lot here.

[both chuckle]

You're just my sexy, smart,
funny, kind, thoughtful human.

I don't know. I just love you.

-I just love you.
-I love you too.

I'm just so thankful to have you,

and just thinking about losing you
was just not in the cards.

I choose you.

I just love you.

I love you too.

And, with that being said...

[both chuckle]

...I was kinda wondering...

[tense percussive beat plays]

[Rae exhales] Lexi,

will you marry me?

[beat cuts out]

Yes.

-You can look at the ring.
-Yes.

Yes.

["How Far" playing]

♪ Look up, let's see how far we'll go ♪

♪ Head to the sky, we're not alone ♪

♪ I think it's time we know ♪

Can I put it on now?

[Rae] Yeah, see if it...

Your dad really did all the things.

[Lexi] There's no one I would rather
spend the rest of my life with than you.

Holy shit.

♪ Let's see how far we'll go ♪

All right, sit down.

[Lexi sighs]

[song trails off]

-[Rae inhales]
-Good deep breath?

So...

[chuckling] Oh no.
You don't have to do that.

-My scoopy...
-Oh no.

My babe.

My forever love.

-Will you marry me?
-[Rae] Of course.

["With You" playing]

♪ Nothing can keep you from me ♪

Get your ass up.

Thank you.

All right.

[indistinct, fond murmuring]

Look, I'm shaking.

-I love you.
-I love you too.

Holy shit.

-[Rae] Moving to Philly, baby.
-We are moving to Philly.

-I love you.
-I love you too.

We got the rings.

How do we do this? Do you go this way?

I give 'em one of these.

[Lexi laughs]

Oh hello, fiancée.

-Shall we, baby?
-We shall... fiancée.

-Fiancée...
-Has a nice ring to it.

-I can leave now. I got it.
-I think we can leave now.

-We can leave now. She can come.
-She's already forgot.

She's my fiancée.

She only wanted one thing,
and she's like, "Bye. Done."

-I love you.
-I love you too.

Forever.

[music swells, trails off]

["Every Second" by Kari Kimmel playing]

[Aussie] This experience has been
a lot of ups and a lot of downs.

-A lot of walkouts.
-A lot of walk... [laughs]

I'll call them pauses. A lot of pauses.

[both chuckle]

[Aussie] Everything led to this point,
and everything was definitely worth it.

[Sam] We do have to face
a little bit of reality

of how you're gonna handle
telling your family.

[Aussie] Yeah.

"Surprise. I'm gay. Surprise."

[Aussie] This is the one I chose.

Yeah.

My... My lifetime partner.

Oh, you mean me?
I thought you meant the ring.

-Oh. No. You, babe.
-Oh, okay.

♪ Every second that I'm with you
I would risk it all ♪

I'm feeling overwhelmed, excited.

[Mal] Yoly's where she's at. She's been
nothing but honest about how she feels.

Being in love with two people
is difficult.

And I intend to support my partner
like I have been... through this.

Fiancée.

Sorry. My fiancée.

Yoly had a choice, and she made that.

We're not looking back.

[Yoly] Regardless of the road,
I feel confident in our tools.

[Mal] Regardless of what you said,
I knew I still had to tell you.

-I still had to propose to you.
-[Yoly] You did good.

[Mal chuckles] Did I?

It was tough.

♪ I'm falling way too hard ♪

♪ I'm falling way too far ♪

♪ Every second that I'm with you ♪

[Xander] It does hurt
to hear that Yoly chose Mal.

I don't know where I'm gonna go from here.
I still wanna get married.

Over this past experience,
I feel like I've changed for the better.

I think I have a long way to go,

but I definitely feel better,
in my own skin and everything.

I did not expect this.

Hell no. [laughs]

Confidently, I came in here saying,
"I don't think marriage is for me."

I've realized a lot
during this experience about myself,

and now marriage is an option for me.

I want that full love,
and I want to offer someone full love.

And you kind of have to
just take the fear along with that.

And I think that's
beautiful and wonderful.

And I'm ready to open my heart up
to a lot more in life.

["So in Love" by Kari Kimmel playing]

♪ Forbidden love ♪

Okay. You ready?

-[Rae] Yeah, let's do it.
-Okay.

♪ As long as you are here with me ♪

[Rae] Lexi and I are gonna
figure out our life together.

We're gonna trek across the country.

Rae's got a job in Philly,

so we're gonna start our life there
for a little while, and I'm excited.

I'd recommend this experience.

This shit is hard.
Don't let anybody fool you.

You're literally feeling shit every day.

But if you can, like, live in that,
then I do think you can learn a lot here.

[Rae] Yeah, this is a success,
regardless of, like, the emotional turmoil

I felt like I've gone through.

-I love you.
-I love you too.

[Tiff] "My fiancée."

-Does that sound sexy?
-Yeah.

I absolutely do not regret
giving Tiff the ultimatum,

because I know that Tiff
was gonna come through.

[Tiff] I don't think
that we would be here right now,

engaged, in this moment,
if it were not for this experience.

-[Mildred] Oh yeah.
-You have to feel uncomfortable to move.

Yeah.

And I think it took all of that to lead me
right back to her as a better version.

[Mildred] You're my love.

I'm so happy.

You better be happy.
Look at the shit I had to go through.

-Look at the shit you put me through.
-I went through this too.

-But you put me through this.
-I deserve a gift.

So you... Your gift was your ring.

Sorry, this is us
fighting all the time, still.

Damn.

Get it together, babe.

I got it together.
I proposed to you. What do you mean?

[Mildred] I feel like my heart is
beating so hard for you, babe.

-That's good. Well, don't...
-Okay.

[Tiff] You can fall in love,
but you can't fall down these damn cliffs.

♪ I get dressed up ♪

♪ You like dressed down ♪

♪ I put things on, you take them off
Clothes on the ground ♪

♪ I try you on ♪

♪ You fit just right ♪

♪ We stay at home and go to town ♪

-♪ All day and night ♪
-♪ So good on me ♪

♪ I get dressed up ♪

♪ You like dressed down ♪

♪ I put things on, you take them off
Clothes on the ground ♪

-♪ So good on me ♪
-♪ You know, I know you look good on me ♪