The Twilight Zone (1959–1964): Season 2, Episode 10 - A Most Unusual Camera - full transcript
When three dum-dum crooks get ahold of a camera that takes pictures of the future, they set out to make a quick fortune with their new toy.
( eerie music)
YOU'RE TRAVELING THROUGH
ANOTHER DIMENSION...
A DIMENSION NOT ONLY OF
SIGHT AND SOUND, BUT OF MIND.
A JOURNEY INTO A WONDROUS LAND
WHOSE BOUNDARIES
ARE THAT OF IMAGINATION.
THAT'S THE SIGNPOST UP AHEAD.
YOUR NEXT STOP,
THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
Woman: "SOMETIME
DURING THE MORNING,
"THE REAR DOOR OF THE
ANTIQUE SHOP WAS JIMMIED OPEN.
"THE POLICE SURMISED
THAT THE THIEF,
"OBVIOUSLY WORKING
WITH AN ACCOMPLICE,
"ENTERED AND BEGAN TO
REMOVE ITEMS FROM THE SHELVES.
"MR. AND MRS. JENSEN J. BROWN,
THE PROPRIETORS OF THE SHOP,
"LISTED THE FOLLOWING
COLLECTOR'S ITEMS
"AS AMONG THE GOODS STOLEN:
TWO VASES OF THE
MING DYNASTY..."
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
DYNASTY THEY'RE FROM,
BUT THEY AIN'T MINGS.
THERE ARE FROM
SOME RUMMAGE SALE.
THEY'RE WORTH ABOUT
A HALF A SHUCK APIECE.
( vases shatter)
CHESTER!
LARCENY! PLAIN, NO-GOOD LARCENY.
HE'S PADDING THAT
LIST FOR HIS INSURANCE.
HOW DO YOU LIKE
A CROOK LIKE THAT?
"AN ANTIQUE SILVER
SERVICE FOR 12,
A LOUIS XIV CANDELABRA,
A QUEEN ANNE CHEST..."
A PHONY LOUIS XIV CANDELABRA,
A SET OF U.S. NAVY
SURPLUS TABLEWARE,
A CHEST WORTH MAYBE $3.50 TOPS.
"THREE OIL PAINTINGS
BY PICASSO..."
THREE POSTERS IN FRAMES.
THE GUY THAT PAINTED THESE
THINKS A PICASSO IS A
FOREIGN SPORTS CAR.
"TWO TEAKWOOD, HAND-CARVED
CIGARETTE CASES..."
AW, KNOCK IT OFF. KNOCK IT OFF.
HEY, THEY FORGOT THIS...
AN ANTIQUE CAMERA, NO LESS.
BIG DEAL.
WELL, FITS WITH THE
REST OF THE HAUL.
EVERYTHING ELSE IS FOR NOTHING.
FIGURES WE GET A CAMERA
THAT'S FOR NOTHING.
A HOTEL SUITE THAT,
IN THIS INSTANCE,
SERVES AS A DEN OF CRIME.
THE AFTERMATH OF A
RATHER MINOR EVENT
TO BE NOTED IN A POLICE BLOTTER,
AN INSURANCE CLAIM,
PERHAPS A THREE-INCH BOX
ON PAGE 12 OF THE EVENING PAPER.
SMALL ADDENDA TO BE ADDED TO
THE LIST OF THE LOOT: A CAMERA.
A MOST UNIMPOSING ADDITION
TO THE FLOTSAM AND
JETSAM THAT IT CAME WITH.
HARDLY WORTH MENTIONING, REALLY,
BECAUSE CAMERAS ARE CAMERAS:
SOME EXPENSIVE, SOME
PURCHASABLE AT FIVE-AND-DIME STORES.
BUT THIS CAMERA... THIS
ONE'S UNUSUAL BECAUSE,
IN JUST A MOMENT, WE'LL
WATCH IT INJECT ITSELF
INTO THE DESTINIES
OF THREE PEOPLE.
IT HAPPENS TO BE A FACT THAT
THE PICTURES THAT IT TAKES
CAN ONLY BE DEVELOPED
IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
BIG DEAL.
YOU KNOW, 20 YEARS AGO,
YOU COULD GET ONE OF THESE
IN A DRUGSTORE FOR 39 CENTS.
I GOT TO PICK IT UP IN A HEIST.
LOOK AT THE CRUMMY THING.
NO PLACE TO PUT THE FILM IN.
NO PLACE TO EVEN OPEN IT.
HUH! SOME CRAZY FOREIGN WRITING.
THIS MUST BE THE CLICKER.
HEY, BABY, GET OVER
THERE BY THE WINDOW.
COME ON, TAKE A POSE.
AHA... SAY CHEESE.
CHEESE.
( shutter clicks)
NOTHING.
AW, BIG DEAL.
THE WHOLE HAUL IS
WORTH MAYBE $5.80.
A GOOD FENCE
WILL GIVE US A BUCK.
YOU AND YOUR CURIO SHOPS.
MY CURIO SHOPS?
WHO CASED THE PLACE?
WHO FINGERED IT?
WHO DID ALL THE PLANNING?
LISTEN TO MISS CULTURE OF 1960.
PATRON OF THE ARTS.
"NEVER MIND HOCK
SHOPS," SHE SAYS.
"LET'S GET UP IN
LIFE," SHE SAYS.
"LET'S KNOCK OVER A CURIO SHOP
"ON ACCOUNT OF CURIO
SHOPS ARE LOADED
WITH OBJETS D'ART
WORTH A FORTUNE."
TWO WEEKS OF PLANNING,
ONE WHOLE NIGHT ON THE HEIST,
AND WHAT HAVE WE GOT FOR IT?
400 POUNDS OF JUNK.
I COULD HAVE SHOT POOL FOR
A WHOLE DAY AND MADE MORE.
LOOK, BABY, THE NEXT TIME
YOU GET A HOT IDEA ON A HEIST...
( camera humming)
( bell rings)
WELL, HOW DO I LOOK?
WELL, ISN'T THAT NICE?
AND SO CLEAR, CHET.
CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT?
NO FLASHBULBS OR ANYTHING.
AND LOOK HOW CLEAR IT IS.
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH ME?
GET OVER THERE BY
THE MIRROR. WHAT?
GO ON. GO LOOK AT
YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR.
ARE YOU MISSING A
COUPLE OF BUTTONS?
YOU GO AHEAD AND LOOK.
SO, WHAT'S TO SEE?
NOW LOOK AT THE PICTURE.
SO, THERE I AM
STANDING BY THE WINDOW
WEARING A... FUR COAT?!
CHET, WHAT AM I DOING
WEARING A FUR COAT?
I WASN'T WEARING A FUR COAT
WHEN YOU TOOK THAT PICTURE.
I DON'T EVEN OWN A FUR COAT.
I GET IT.
I GET IT.
CAMERA'S STRICTLY FOR LAUGHS.
STRICTLY FOR LAUGHS.
IT'S A GAG CAMERA.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
LOOK, LOOK.
THEY'VE ALREADY GOT THE
PICTURES DEVELOPED INSIDE.
THE NEGATIVES HAVE
GOT PICTURES ON THEM.
ALL THIS DOES IS
TAKE THE FACES. WHAT?
YOU KNOW, LIKE IN A CARNIVAL,
WHEN YOU STAND BACK OF
THAT CRAZY CARDBOARD THING.
YOU KNOW, FAT LADY, GUY
DRIVING A CAR, SAILOR. YOU KNOW.
WELL, THAT'S WHAT THIS IS.
HEY, THAT'S NOT BAD.
THAT'S PRETTY CLEVER.
WE MIGHT AS WELL CLEAR
UP THE REST OF THIS JUNK.
LET'S GET AT THAT CHEST.
KEY COME WITH THIS?
NO. YOU'LL HAVE TO OPEN IT
IN YOUR OWN INIMITABLE STYLE.
ANYBODY EVER TELL YOU
YOU GOT A NASTY DISPOSITION?
IF I HAVE A NASTY DISPOSITION,
IT'S BECAUSE I'M MARRIED
TO A NICKEL-AND-DIME HEISTER
WHO CAN'T TELL A REAL
DIAMOND FROM A BASEBALL.
LOOK, BABY DOLL,
THIS SUITE IS 28 BUCKS A DAY
DELIVERED AND PAID FOR
BY MRS. DIEDRICH'S SON, CHESTER,
ON PROFITS COLLECTED
OVER A POTFUL OF YEARS
WHEN YOU WEREN'T
EVEN IN THE PICTURE.
MATTER OF FACT, I NEED YOU
LIKE I NEED A THREE-
TIME CONVICTION.
HEY!
OH, LOOK.
OH!
WELL, HOW DO YOU LIKE THIS?
AND DON'T START GIVING ME
ANY OF THAT CHEAP PIZZAZZ
ABOUT TAKING THIS TO ANY FENCE.
THIS BELONGS TO
LITTLE OLD PAULA.
AND DON'T TRY TO
ARGUE WITH ME EITHER.
WELL, HOW DO I LOOK?
ALL RIGHT, CUE ME.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
( taps camera)
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
COME ON BACK TO BED.
STILL WITH THAT?
SHUT UP.
SO WHAT DO YOU CARE?
WANT ME TO LET IT GO BY, HUH?
SO WHAT DO YOU CARE?
SO IT'S A CRAZY CAMERA.
SO IT TAKES DOPEY PICTURES
THAT REALLY AREN'T THERE.
YEAH, IT TAKES DOPEY PICTURES.
DOPEY PICTURES LIKE THINGS
THAT HAVEN'T HAPPENED YET,
BUT THEY DO HAPPEN.
SO WHAT'S TO DO, CHET?
ONE LOUSY, KOOKY PICTURE
AND YOU GET INSOMNIA.
SO IT'S A CAMERA, THAT'S ALL.
HERE, I'LL SHOW YOU.
( shutter clicks)
THERE. SEE?
ANY LIGHTNING?
DROP IT, WHY DON'T YOU?
LET IT GO. FORGET IT.
HOW CAN I FORGET IT?
THIS THING COULD COME
FROM WITCHES OR... SORCERERS.
IT COULD BE LOADED
WITH BLACK MAGIC.
AND WHAT ARE YOU LOADED WITH?
DO YOU SEE ANYTHING?
WHERE'S THE MAN WITH
THE HORNS WHO COMES IN
WITH A BARGAIN FOR THE SOUL?
IT'S A KOOKY CAMERA, THAT'S ALL.
( camera humming)
( bell rings)
WELL?
IT'S MY BROTHER WOODWARD...
STANDING BY THE DOOR.
YEAH.
THAT'S WHO IT IS.
THAT CHEAP, NO-GOOD
BROTHER OF YOURS.
IT CAN'T BE.
HE'S IN JAIL.
SEVEN YEARS FOR
BREAKING AND ENTERING,
AND THAT WAS ONLY A YEAR AGO.
OH, NO. NO, CHET.
IT'S THROWING US A CURVE.
MAYBE IT'S SOMEBODY
WHO JUST LOOKS LIKE WOODWARD.
NOBODY LOOKS LIKE WOODWARD.
LOOK.
CHESTER, I'M SCARED.
I'M PALPITATING.
YOU AND YOUR PHONY
PALPITATIONS, YOU...
A LITTLE PALPITATING
NEVER HURT ANYBODY.
WHAT'S THERE TO BE SCARED ABOUT?
THE THING HAS OBVIOUSLY
GONE TILT OR SOMETHING.
LOOK. NOW, LOOK.
WOODWARD ISN'T HERE.
WOODWARD COULDN'T
POSSIBLY BE HERE.
WOODWARD'S NOT GOING TO BE HERE.
HE'S SERVING TIME.
HE'S 900 MILES AWAY
IN A CELL BLOCK.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THAT
CRAZY CAMERA SAYS.
WHOEVER IS IN THIS PICTURE,
IT IS NOT WOODWARD.
( door handle turning)
Paula: WOODWARD.
HI, PAULA. HI, CHET.
I DIDN'T WANT TO WAKE YOU,
SO I JIMMIED THE DOOR OPEN.
I BROKE OUT... ME
AND ANOTHER GUY...
IN A LAUNDRY TRUCK.
THAT'S NICE, HUH?
I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D MIND IF I
STAY WITH YOU FOR A FEW DAYS.
WELL, YOU DON'T, DO YOU?
I WAS THINKING, IF I WAS AROUND,
YOU TWO WOULDN'T FIGHT SO MUCH.
YOU STILL ALL THE TIME FIGHTING?
WHAT'S THIS, CHET?
HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?
THERE I AM, STANDING
BY THIS DOOR,
WEARING THE CLOTHES I GOT ON.
HOW ABOUT THAT?
I TELL YOU, SCIENCE
IS WONDERFUL.
TO BE ABLE TO TAKE
A PICTURE OF A...
WAIT A MINUTE.
WAIT A MINUTE!
LIKE, UH... HOW COME?
I STILL DON'T KNOW
HOW WE CAN USE IT.
STRICTLY FOR LAUGHS.
IMAGINE TRYING TO
SELL AN ITEM LIKE THAT.
THEY'D THROW YOU OUT.
THEY'D SAY YOU'RE
OFF YOUR ROCKER.
THEY'D BURN YOU AT THE STAKE.
ONE THING OR THE OTHER.
HEY, MAYBE WE
COULD SELL TICKETS.
TAKE PICTURES LIKE
AT A CARNY, AND THEN...
WELL, MAYBE WE COULD, UH...
WELL, YOU KNOW, LIKE THAT.
WELL, I'M GOING TO
LAY IT ON THE LINE.
WHAT ARE WE?
I ASKED YOU A
QUESTION. WHAT ARE WE?
WHAT ARE WE, CHET? WE'RE PEOPLE.
YEAH, BUT WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE?
WE'RE THREE SMALL-TIME HEISTERS.
WELL, NOW WE'VE
FINALLY GOT SOMETHING
THAT MIGHT DO SOMETHING
GOOD FOR SOMEBODY ELSE.
SCIENCE COULD USE
SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
WHO?
SCIENCE.
WE GOT SOMETHING
HERE FOR HUMANITY.
WHO?
HUMANITY.
YOU GOT A LEAK IN YOUR ATTIC?
WHAT'S HUMANITY
EVER DONE FOR US?
SURE, PAULA, SURE.
THAT'S WHAT I MEANT.
JUST WHAT YOU SAID.
THAT'S THE WAY WE ARE.
EVERYTHING FOR US.
NOTHING FOR ANYBODY ELSE.
I'VE RISEN ABOVE ALL THAT NOW.
I SAY, LET'S GIVE
THIS TO THE WORLD.
HERE, WORLD.
A GIFT FROM CHESTER
DIEDRICH AND HIS WIFE.
AND ME, TOO, CHET.
DON'T FORGET WOODWARD.
YEAH. AND YOU, TOO, WOODWARD.
HERE, WORLD.
A GIFT FOR HUMANITY.
A GESTURE.
A GESTURE TO SHOW
THE SIZE OF THE HEART
OF CHESTER DIEDRICH AND WIFE.
AND WOODWARD.
YEAH, THAT'S BETTER.
ISN'T THERE SOMETHING
YOU WANT TO WATCH ON TV?
OH, YEAH.
YOU KNOW, PAULA, THIS COULD BE
A VERY IMPORTANT
SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERY.
THERE'S NO TELLING WHAT
MEDICAL SCIENCE MAY DO WITH THIS.
HOW CAN YOU KNOW...?
TV ANNOUNCER: A
half-length, a full-length,
and Hot Foot takes it
by a length and a half.
Jerry Slash second by two,
Easter Baby third.
The rest of the
field is strung out.
Here's the result: $24.90
to win, $15.80 and $6.70.
In just a few minutes,
the second race of the day,
the Los Tendres Handicap.
SHUT THAT THING OFF.
HUH? OH, YEAH.
I GOT IT.
I'VE GOT IT, I'VE GOT IT.
WHAT IS IT, CHESTER?
THIS THING TAKES PICTURES
OF THINGS THAT HAPPEN
FIVE MINUTES BEFORE THEY HAPPEN,
BUT THEY HAPPEN!
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT
WE'RE GOING TO DO.
WE'RE GOING TO TAKE A
PICTURE OF THE WINNING BOARD
AT THE RACETRACK...
BEFORE THE RACE.
THE WINNING BOARD
BEFORE THE RACE, GET IT?
NO, I DON'T GET IT.
WAIT A MINUTE.
WAIT A MINUTE.
WE TAKE A PICTURE
OF THE WINNING BOARD,
AND THEN WE LOOK AT IT.
OH, CHESTER!
WE GETTING THROUGH
TO YOU, WOODWARD?
LOOK, WE TAKE A PICTURE
OF THE WINNING BOARD.
THERE'S NOTHING ON IT
BECAUSE THE RACE
HASN'T BEEN RUN YET,
BUT WE GOT A LITTLE CAMERA HERE
THAT TAKES PICTURES
FIVE MINUTES BEFORE THEY HAPPEN.
SO THE PICTURE HAS THE
WINNING NUMBERS ON THE BOARD.
WE KNOW WHAT HORSE WON.
WE KNOW HOW MUCH HE PAID.
NOW DO YOU GET IT?
YEAH! NOW I GET IT.
OKAY, EVERYBODY, GET YOUR COATS.
GRAB ONE OF MINE, AND
BE SURE TO PUT ON A TIE.
OKAY, CHET?
LET'S SEE NOW.
THAT WAS THE FIRST RACE...
WE CAN STILL CATCH THE LAST SIX.
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.
HOW MUCH MONEY HAVE WE GOT?
I GOT A TEN AND A 20.
THAT'S $30.
I KNOW IT'S $30.
I GOT... $180.
WOODWARD, YOU GOT MONEY?
YEAH, I GOT TEN.
THAT GIVES US 220 BUCKS.
IS THAT ENOUGH?
WE'RE BOUND TO HIT
ONE LONG SHOT, MAYBE TWO.
WE'LL PARLAY THIS
INTO A MILLION BUCKS.
WE CAN'T LOSE, PAULA!
WE CAN'T LOSE! COME ON!
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE, CHET!
WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT ABOUT HUMANITY?
WHAT DID HUMANITY
EVER DO FOR US?
COME ON!
WE GOT US AN IDEA.
OH, BOY, CHESTER! OH, BOY!
LOOK, MY RIBS AREN'T HURTING
YOUR ELBOW ANY, ARE THEY?
KEEP IT QUIET.
LET ME GET THE SHOT.
( shutter clicks)
OKAY.
( camera humming)
( bell rings)
AH-AH-AH.
WELL?
THERE'S NUMBERS ON IT.
6, 3, 11.
LOOK WHAT NUMBER SIX PAYS.
$47.60 TO WIN.
OH, BOY, CHESTER!
LET ME SEE.
NUMBER SIX, NUMBER SIX...
NUMBER SIX: TIDY TOO.
OKAY, BOYS AND GIRLS,
OUR MONEY GOES ON TIDY TOO.
HERE. YOU TAKE CARE OF BABY.
ANNOUNCER: Going
wide, can't hold the rail.
And Tidy Too moves into the
hole on the rail and moves fast.
TIDY TOO. TIDY TOO.
COME ON, NUMBER SIX.
And Sir Rinos falls back.
COME ON, COME ON, TIDY TOO.
COME ON, TIDY TOO.
COME ON, HORSEY!
TIDY TOO.
COME ON, COME ON.
COME ON, TIDY TOO.
WE WON.
9,500 BUCKS... OH!
HERE WE GO.
CHET, GO GET THE MONEY.
YEAH. BE RIGHT BACK.
WATCH THE CAMERA.
THANK YOU.
( bell rings)
OPEN THE BAG, HONEY.
I'VE RUN OUT OF POCKETS.
LOOK AT THE LOOT.
95 TIMES TO WIN, NUMBER FOUR.
90... 91... 92...
93... 94... 95.
HOW SOON CAN YOU MAKE DELIVERY
ON SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
NO, NO, NO. NOT BLACK.
IT'S GOT TO BE YELLOW
WITH BLACK UPHOLSTERY.
YEAH. WIRE WHEELS,
DUAL EXHAUSTS,
CONTINENTAL KIT... THE WORKS.
RIGHT. AND HOW MUCH WAS IT?
$11,000.
11 GRAND.
NO, I'M NOT BACKING OUT.
I'M THINKING ABOUT WHETHER
I WANT TO GET TWO OR NOT.
OKAY, YOU BRING THE PAPERS
AROUND IN THE MORNING.
WE'LL SETTLE THE WHOLE DEAL.
RIGHT, NO, NO, NO.
I'LL PAY CASH. YEAH.
( knock at door)
THAT MUST BE THE WAITER.
ARE YOU FINISHED WITH YOUR
SNACK, WOODWARD, DEAR?
YEAH. THAT'LL HOLD
ME TILL DINNER.
COME IN.
I CAME FOR THE DISHES, MADAM.
RIGHT HERE.
COULD YOU POSSIBLY BRING US BACK
A COUPLE BOTTLES OF CHAMPAGNE?
YES, MA'AM, I CAN.
HEY, PUT THAT DOWN.
OH, LET HIM LOOK AT IT.
BET YOU NEVER SAW
ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
MAIS NON.
MOST UNUSUAL, SIR.
ISN'T IT, THOUGH?
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW UNUSUAL.
BUT WHAT DO YOU DO
AFTER YOUR TEN PICTURES?
IS THERE ANY OTHER
WAY TO GET MORE FILM?
WE'VE ONLY HAD
IT A LITTLE WHILE.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
WHAT ABOUT TEN PICTURES?
WELL, THE INSCRIPTION
READS, "DIX A LA PROPRIETAIRE."
THAT MEANS, "TEN TO AN OWNER."
WELL, I PRESUME THAT MEANS
YOU MAY ONLY TAKE TEN.
SO ODD.
YES, YOU SEE, THE LETTERING...
YEAH, OKAY, PIERRE.
DON'T FORGET THE CHAMPAGNE.
YOU'RE GOING TO
HAVE TO GET IT FOR HER.
IF WE WANT ANYTHING
ELSE, WE'LL CALL YOU.
OKAY, BOY. BYE.
HOW MANY PICTURES DID WE TAKE?
THERE WAS ONE OF YOU.
ONE OF WOODWARD.
HOW MANY WE TAKE AT THE TRACK?
SIX... SIX RACES.
WE'VE TAKEN EIGHT PICTURES.
THERE'S ONLY TWO LEFT.
TEN.
HOW DO WE KNOW
THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS?
SOME SMART-ALECK FRENCH WAITER
TELLS US IT MEANS TEN,
SO WE FIGURE WE'VE
ONLY GOT TWO LEFT.
HOW DOES HE KNOW?
I BET WE CAN TAKE
AS MANY AS WE WANT.
WE CAN'T TAKE ANY CHANCES.
YEAH, SHE'S RIGHT.
YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK?
I THINK WE OUGHT TO SELL IT.
WHO'S RATTLING YOUR CAGE, APE?
IT DOESN'T BELONG TO YOU.
YOU'RE HERE ON CHARITY.
WE'RE GOING OUT TO
THE TRACK TOMORROW
AND BET TWO MORE RACES.
ARE YOU BOTH CRAZY?
WE GOT TO HANG
ON TO IT AND SAVE IT.
NO, WE DON'T, WE GOT TO SELL IT.
( arguing loudly)
( shutter clicks)
YOU MADE ME WASTE A PICTURE.
OOH, PALPITATIONS!
PALPITATIONS.
PHONY PALPITATIONS
AND A STUPID BROTHER!
I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THAT GUFF.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
HERE, WOODWARD, TAKE A DRINK.
THAT'S BETTER.
( camera humming)
( bell rings)
SHE'S SCREAMING.
WHY DO YOU THINK SHE'S
SCREAMING, WOODWARD?
I'LL TELL YOU WHY
SHE'S SCREAMING.
BECAUSE SOMEBODY'S TRYING TO
DO SOMETHING TO HER HUSBAND.
SOME STUPID, NO-GOOD EX-CON
WHO WANTS TO GET THAT
CAMERA AND DOESN'T CARE HOW.
Paula: DON'T!
DON'T DO IT, CHET.
PUT THAT KNIFE AWAY.
CHESTER!
IF SHE'S SCREAMING
IN THAT PICTURE,
SHE'S BECAUSE SOMEBODY'S
TRYING TO HURT HER LOVING BROTHER.
BOYS! WOODWARD!
NO, PLEASE.
PUT IT AWAY OR I'LL
TAKE OFF YOUR SKIN.
PLEASE, DON'T.
( shrieks)
( whimpering): OH, CHESTER.
OH, MY.
MY HUSBAND... WOODWARD.
I'LL DIE.
THERE'S NOTHING LEFT FOR ME.
NOTHING.
HOWEVER, WE MUST MUDDLE
THROUGH THESE THINGS.
WE MUST LIVE WITH TRAGEDY.
POOR WOODWARD. POOR CHESTER.
ONE MORE PICTURE LEFT.
HA!
( humming)
FOR POSTERITY, BOYS.
SIMPLY FOR POSTERITY.
( shutter clicks)
MAY YOU BOTH REST IN PEACE.
( door opening)
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
PARDONNEZ-MOI.
MADAME, I UNDERSTAND
THERE IS SOMETHING
IN THE WAY OF LAUNDRY
THAT I SHOULD TAKE.
YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG ROOM.
THERE'S NO LAUNDRY HERE, JACK.
IN FACT, I'M CHECKING OUT.
SO I UNDERSTAND, MADAME.
YOUR TWO FRIENDS, THEY
ALREADY CHECKED OUT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
I TOLD YOU I WAS HERE
TO TAKE THE LAUNDRY.
I'M... HOW DO YOU SAY?
CLEANING YOU OUT.
CLEANING ME OUT?
WHAT DO YOU THINK I'LL BE DOING
WHILE YOU DO THAT?
WELL, I'LL CUE YOU.
I'M GOING TO BE
CALLING THE COPS.
THE COPS?
OH, YOU MEAN THE POLICE?
MADAME WILL FORGIVE ME
BUT, IF YOU CALL THE POLICE,
MADAME WILL GET HERSELF
INTO... HOW YOU SAY?
ONE FANTASTIC BIND.
NOW THIS HERE, THIS
IS... HOW YOU SAY?
UP FOR GRABS.
DEAR LADY, I KNOW
ALL ABOUT YOU NOW.
I HAVE DONE SOME CHECKING.
YOUR HUSBAND, YOUR
BROTHER AND YOU,
YOU ARE WANTED.
NOW, AS FOR THE POLICE,
I WOULD ADVISE YOU TO
GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN.
WHEN THEY DISCOVER
WHAT IS DOWN IN THE
COURTYARD THERE,
THEY WILL BE UP
HERE SANS INVITATION.
TRANSLATION: WITHOUT INVITATION.
UNINVITED.
YOU... HOW YOU SAY? YOU DIG?
NOW, AS TO THE LAUNDRY,
THIS MAY BE BACK BY THURSDAY
OR MAYBE FRIDAY...
OR MAYBE NEVER.
BUT I'M NOT A HOG.
THIS ONE, I WILL LEAVE WITH YOU.
SACRE NOM.
THERE IS A PICTURE OF THE
COURTYARD DOWN BELOW,
BUT THERE ARE MORE
THAN TWO BODIES.
MORE THAN TWO BODIES?
( screams)
YES, THERE ARE MORE THAN
TWO BODIES DOWN THERE.
JUST LIKE THE PICTURE SHOWS...
ONE, TWO, THREE...
FOUR!
( screams)
OBJECT KNOWN AS A CAMERA...
VINTAGE UNCERTAIN,
ORIGIN UNKNOWN.
BUT, FOR THE GREEDY, THE
AVARICIOUS, THE FLEET OF FOOT
WHO CAN RUN A FOUR-MINUTE MILE
SO LONG AS THEY'RE
CHASING A FAST BUCK,
IT MAKES BELIEVE THAT IT'S
AN ALLY, BUT IT ISN'T AT ALL.
IT'S A BECKONING COME-ON
FOR A QUICK WALK AROUND
THE BLOCK IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
MAN: ROD SERLING, CREATOR
OF THE TWILIGHT ZONE,
WILL TELL YOU ABOUT
NEXT WEEK'S STORY
AFTER THIS WORD FROM
OUR ALTERNATE SPONSOR.
AND NOW, MR. SERLING.
THIS MAY LOOK TO YOU
LIKE ANY DISMAL,
DARK AND DINGY ALLEY
THAT LIES SKULKING OFF A
MILLION MYRIAD SHADOW-PLACES
OFF THE MAIN DRAGS.
ACTUALLY, IT'S THE PRIVATE
DOMAIN OF LEPRECHAUNS AND ELVES,
AND SUPPLIES THE LOCALE
OF NEXT WEEK'S TWILIGHT ZONE.
WITH US FOR A VERY SPECIAL
OCCASION IS MR. ART CARNEY,
WHO PLAYS THE ROLE OF A
DEPARTMENT STORE SANTA CLAUS,
AND HE PLAYS IT WITH THE HEART,
THE WARMTH AND THE VAST TALENT
THAT IS UNIQUELY CARNEY.
ON THE TWILIGHT ZONE NEXT
WEEK, "THE NIGHT OF THE MEEK."
MAN: BE SURE AND SEE THE
COLGATE-PALMOLIVE COMPANY'S
NEW COMEDY SHOW MY SISTER EILEEN
WEDNESDAY NIGHT ON MANY
OF THESE SAME STATIONS.
YOU'RE TRAVELING THROUGH
ANOTHER DIMENSION...
A DIMENSION NOT ONLY OF
SIGHT AND SOUND, BUT OF MIND.
A JOURNEY INTO A WONDROUS LAND
WHOSE BOUNDARIES
ARE THAT OF IMAGINATION.
THAT'S THE SIGNPOST UP AHEAD.
YOUR NEXT STOP,
THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
Woman: "SOMETIME
DURING THE MORNING,
"THE REAR DOOR OF THE
ANTIQUE SHOP WAS JIMMIED OPEN.
"THE POLICE SURMISED
THAT THE THIEF,
"OBVIOUSLY WORKING
WITH AN ACCOMPLICE,
"ENTERED AND BEGAN TO
REMOVE ITEMS FROM THE SHELVES.
"MR. AND MRS. JENSEN J. BROWN,
THE PROPRIETORS OF THE SHOP,
"LISTED THE FOLLOWING
COLLECTOR'S ITEMS
"AS AMONG THE GOODS STOLEN:
TWO VASES OF THE
MING DYNASTY..."
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
DYNASTY THEY'RE FROM,
BUT THEY AIN'T MINGS.
THERE ARE FROM
SOME RUMMAGE SALE.
THEY'RE WORTH ABOUT
A HALF A SHUCK APIECE.
( vases shatter)
CHESTER!
LARCENY! PLAIN, NO-GOOD LARCENY.
HE'S PADDING THAT
LIST FOR HIS INSURANCE.
HOW DO YOU LIKE
A CROOK LIKE THAT?
"AN ANTIQUE SILVER
SERVICE FOR 12,
A LOUIS XIV CANDELABRA,
A QUEEN ANNE CHEST..."
A PHONY LOUIS XIV CANDELABRA,
A SET OF U.S. NAVY
SURPLUS TABLEWARE,
A CHEST WORTH MAYBE $3.50 TOPS.
"THREE OIL PAINTINGS
BY PICASSO..."
THREE POSTERS IN FRAMES.
THE GUY THAT PAINTED THESE
THINKS A PICASSO IS A
FOREIGN SPORTS CAR.
"TWO TEAKWOOD, HAND-CARVED
CIGARETTE CASES..."
AW, KNOCK IT OFF. KNOCK IT OFF.
HEY, THEY FORGOT THIS...
AN ANTIQUE CAMERA, NO LESS.
BIG DEAL.
WELL, FITS WITH THE
REST OF THE HAUL.
EVERYTHING ELSE IS FOR NOTHING.
FIGURES WE GET A CAMERA
THAT'S FOR NOTHING.
A HOTEL SUITE THAT,
IN THIS INSTANCE,
SERVES AS A DEN OF CRIME.
THE AFTERMATH OF A
RATHER MINOR EVENT
TO BE NOTED IN A POLICE BLOTTER,
AN INSURANCE CLAIM,
PERHAPS A THREE-INCH BOX
ON PAGE 12 OF THE EVENING PAPER.
SMALL ADDENDA TO BE ADDED TO
THE LIST OF THE LOOT: A CAMERA.
A MOST UNIMPOSING ADDITION
TO THE FLOTSAM AND
JETSAM THAT IT CAME WITH.
HARDLY WORTH MENTIONING, REALLY,
BECAUSE CAMERAS ARE CAMERAS:
SOME EXPENSIVE, SOME
PURCHASABLE AT FIVE-AND-DIME STORES.
BUT THIS CAMERA... THIS
ONE'S UNUSUAL BECAUSE,
IN JUST A MOMENT, WE'LL
WATCH IT INJECT ITSELF
INTO THE DESTINIES
OF THREE PEOPLE.
IT HAPPENS TO BE A FACT THAT
THE PICTURES THAT IT TAKES
CAN ONLY BE DEVELOPED
IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
BIG DEAL.
YOU KNOW, 20 YEARS AGO,
YOU COULD GET ONE OF THESE
IN A DRUGSTORE FOR 39 CENTS.
I GOT TO PICK IT UP IN A HEIST.
LOOK AT THE CRUMMY THING.
NO PLACE TO PUT THE FILM IN.
NO PLACE TO EVEN OPEN IT.
HUH! SOME CRAZY FOREIGN WRITING.
THIS MUST BE THE CLICKER.
HEY, BABY, GET OVER
THERE BY THE WINDOW.
COME ON, TAKE A POSE.
AHA... SAY CHEESE.
CHEESE.
( shutter clicks)
NOTHING.
AW, BIG DEAL.
THE WHOLE HAUL IS
WORTH MAYBE $5.80.
A GOOD FENCE
WILL GIVE US A BUCK.
YOU AND YOUR CURIO SHOPS.
MY CURIO SHOPS?
WHO CASED THE PLACE?
WHO FINGERED IT?
WHO DID ALL THE PLANNING?
LISTEN TO MISS CULTURE OF 1960.
PATRON OF THE ARTS.
"NEVER MIND HOCK
SHOPS," SHE SAYS.
"LET'S GET UP IN
LIFE," SHE SAYS.
"LET'S KNOCK OVER A CURIO SHOP
"ON ACCOUNT OF CURIO
SHOPS ARE LOADED
WITH OBJETS D'ART
WORTH A FORTUNE."
TWO WEEKS OF PLANNING,
ONE WHOLE NIGHT ON THE HEIST,
AND WHAT HAVE WE GOT FOR IT?
400 POUNDS OF JUNK.
I COULD HAVE SHOT POOL FOR
A WHOLE DAY AND MADE MORE.
LOOK, BABY, THE NEXT TIME
YOU GET A HOT IDEA ON A HEIST...
( camera humming)
( bell rings)
WELL, HOW DO I LOOK?
WELL, ISN'T THAT NICE?
AND SO CLEAR, CHET.
CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT?
NO FLASHBULBS OR ANYTHING.
AND LOOK HOW CLEAR IT IS.
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH ME?
GET OVER THERE BY
THE MIRROR. WHAT?
GO ON. GO LOOK AT
YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR.
ARE YOU MISSING A
COUPLE OF BUTTONS?
YOU GO AHEAD AND LOOK.
SO, WHAT'S TO SEE?
NOW LOOK AT THE PICTURE.
SO, THERE I AM
STANDING BY THE WINDOW
WEARING A... FUR COAT?!
CHET, WHAT AM I DOING
WEARING A FUR COAT?
I WASN'T WEARING A FUR COAT
WHEN YOU TOOK THAT PICTURE.
I DON'T EVEN OWN A FUR COAT.
I GET IT.
I GET IT.
CAMERA'S STRICTLY FOR LAUGHS.
STRICTLY FOR LAUGHS.
IT'S A GAG CAMERA.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
LOOK, LOOK.
THEY'VE ALREADY GOT THE
PICTURES DEVELOPED INSIDE.
THE NEGATIVES HAVE
GOT PICTURES ON THEM.
ALL THIS DOES IS
TAKE THE FACES. WHAT?
YOU KNOW, LIKE IN A CARNIVAL,
WHEN YOU STAND BACK OF
THAT CRAZY CARDBOARD THING.
YOU KNOW, FAT LADY, GUY
DRIVING A CAR, SAILOR. YOU KNOW.
WELL, THAT'S WHAT THIS IS.
HEY, THAT'S NOT BAD.
THAT'S PRETTY CLEVER.
WE MIGHT AS WELL CLEAR
UP THE REST OF THIS JUNK.
LET'S GET AT THAT CHEST.
KEY COME WITH THIS?
NO. YOU'LL HAVE TO OPEN IT
IN YOUR OWN INIMITABLE STYLE.
ANYBODY EVER TELL YOU
YOU GOT A NASTY DISPOSITION?
IF I HAVE A NASTY DISPOSITION,
IT'S BECAUSE I'M MARRIED
TO A NICKEL-AND-DIME HEISTER
WHO CAN'T TELL A REAL
DIAMOND FROM A BASEBALL.
LOOK, BABY DOLL,
THIS SUITE IS 28 BUCKS A DAY
DELIVERED AND PAID FOR
BY MRS. DIEDRICH'S SON, CHESTER,
ON PROFITS COLLECTED
OVER A POTFUL OF YEARS
WHEN YOU WEREN'T
EVEN IN THE PICTURE.
MATTER OF FACT, I NEED YOU
LIKE I NEED A THREE-
TIME CONVICTION.
HEY!
OH, LOOK.
OH!
WELL, HOW DO YOU LIKE THIS?
AND DON'T START GIVING ME
ANY OF THAT CHEAP PIZZAZZ
ABOUT TAKING THIS TO ANY FENCE.
THIS BELONGS TO
LITTLE OLD PAULA.
AND DON'T TRY TO
ARGUE WITH ME EITHER.
WELL, HOW DO I LOOK?
ALL RIGHT, CUE ME.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
( taps camera)
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
COME ON BACK TO BED.
STILL WITH THAT?
SHUT UP.
SO WHAT DO YOU CARE?
WANT ME TO LET IT GO BY, HUH?
SO WHAT DO YOU CARE?
SO IT'S A CRAZY CAMERA.
SO IT TAKES DOPEY PICTURES
THAT REALLY AREN'T THERE.
YEAH, IT TAKES DOPEY PICTURES.
DOPEY PICTURES LIKE THINGS
THAT HAVEN'T HAPPENED YET,
BUT THEY DO HAPPEN.
SO WHAT'S TO DO, CHET?
ONE LOUSY, KOOKY PICTURE
AND YOU GET INSOMNIA.
SO IT'S A CAMERA, THAT'S ALL.
HERE, I'LL SHOW YOU.
( shutter clicks)
THERE. SEE?
ANY LIGHTNING?
DROP IT, WHY DON'T YOU?
LET IT GO. FORGET IT.
HOW CAN I FORGET IT?
THIS THING COULD COME
FROM WITCHES OR... SORCERERS.
IT COULD BE LOADED
WITH BLACK MAGIC.
AND WHAT ARE YOU LOADED WITH?
DO YOU SEE ANYTHING?
WHERE'S THE MAN WITH
THE HORNS WHO COMES IN
WITH A BARGAIN FOR THE SOUL?
IT'S A KOOKY CAMERA, THAT'S ALL.
( camera humming)
( bell rings)
WELL?
IT'S MY BROTHER WOODWARD...
STANDING BY THE DOOR.
YEAH.
THAT'S WHO IT IS.
THAT CHEAP, NO-GOOD
BROTHER OF YOURS.
IT CAN'T BE.
HE'S IN JAIL.
SEVEN YEARS FOR
BREAKING AND ENTERING,
AND THAT WAS ONLY A YEAR AGO.
OH, NO. NO, CHET.
IT'S THROWING US A CURVE.
MAYBE IT'S SOMEBODY
WHO JUST LOOKS LIKE WOODWARD.
NOBODY LOOKS LIKE WOODWARD.
LOOK.
CHESTER, I'M SCARED.
I'M PALPITATING.
YOU AND YOUR PHONY
PALPITATIONS, YOU...
A LITTLE PALPITATING
NEVER HURT ANYBODY.
WHAT'S THERE TO BE SCARED ABOUT?
THE THING HAS OBVIOUSLY
GONE TILT OR SOMETHING.
LOOK. NOW, LOOK.
WOODWARD ISN'T HERE.
WOODWARD COULDN'T
POSSIBLY BE HERE.
WOODWARD'S NOT GOING TO BE HERE.
HE'S SERVING TIME.
HE'S 900 MILES AWAY
IN A CELL BLOCK.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THAT
CRAZY CAMERA SAYS.
WHOEVER IS IN THIS PICTURE,
IT IS NOT WOODWARD.
( door handle turning)
Paula: WOODWARD.
HI, PAULA. HI, CHET.
I DIDN'T WANT TO WAKE YOU,
SO I JIMMIED THE DOOR OPEN.
I BROKE OUT... ME
AND ANOTHER GUY...
IN A LAUNDRY TRUCK.
THAT'S NICE, HUH?
I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D MIND IF I
STAY WITH YOU FOR A FEW DAYS.
WELL, YOU DON'T, DO YOU?
I WAS THINKING, IF I WAS AROUND,
YOU TWO WOULDN'T FIGHT SO MUCH.
YOU STILL ALL THE TIME FIGHTING?
WHAT'S THIS, CHET?
HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?
THERE I AM, STANDING
BY THIS DOOR,
WEARING THE CLOTHES I GOT ON.
HOW ABOUT THAT?
I TELL YOU, SCIENCE
IS WONDERFUL.
TO BE ABLE TO TAKE
A PICTURE OF A...
WAIT A MINUTE.
WAIT A MINUTE!
LIKE, UH... HOW COME?
I STILL DON'T KNOW
HOW WE CAN USE IT.
STRICTLY FOR LAUGHS.
IMAGINE TRYING TO
SELL AN ITEM LIKE THAT.
THEY'D THROW YOU OUT.
THEY'D SAY YOU'RE
OFF YOUR ROCKER.
THEY'D BURN YOU AT THE STAKE.
ONE THING OR THE OTHER.
HEY, MAYBE WE
COULD SELL TICKETS.
TAKE PICTURES LIKE
AT A CARNY, AND THEN...
WELL, MAYBE WE COULD, UH...
WELL, YOU KNOW, LIKE THAT.
WELL, I'M GOING TO
LAY IT ON THE LINE.
WHAT ARE WE?
I ASKED YOU A
QUESTION. WHAT ARE WE?
WHAT ARE WE, CHET? WE'RE PEOPLE.
YEAH, BUT WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE?
WE'RE THREE SMALL-TIME HEISTERS.
WELL, NOW WE'VE
FINALLY GOT SOMETHING
THAT MIGHT DO SOMETHING
GOOD FOR SOMEBODY ELSE.
SCIENCE COULD USE
SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
WHO?
SCIENCE.
WE GOT SOMETHING
HERE FOR HUMANITY.
WHO?
HUMANITY.
YOU GOT A LEAK IN YOUR ATTIC?
WHAT'S HUMANITY
EVER DONE FOR US?
SURE, PAULA, SURE.
THAT'S WHAT I MEANT.
JUST WHAT YOU SAID.
THAT'S THE WAY WE ARE.
EVERYTHING FOR US.
NOTHING FOR ANYBODY ELSE.
I'VE RISEN ABOVE ALL THAT NOW.
I SAY, LET'S GIVE
THIS TO THE WORLD.
HERE, WORLD.
A GIFT FROM CHESTER
DIEDRICH AND HIS WIFE.
AND ME, TOO, CHET.
DON'T FORGET WOODWARD.
YEAH. AND YOU, TOO, WOODWARD.
HERE, WORLD.
A GIFT FOR HUMANITY.
A GESTURE.
A GESTURE TO SHOW
THE SIZE OF THE HEART
OF CHESTER DIEDRICH AND WIFE.
AND WOODWARD.
YEAH, THAT'S BETTER.
ISN'T THERE SOMETHING
YOU WANT TO WATCH ON TV?
OH, YEAH.
YOU KNOW, PAULA, THIS COULD BE
A VERY IMPORTANT
SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERY.
THERE'S NO TELLING WHAT
MEDICAL SCIENCE MAY DO WITH THIS.
HOW CAN YOU KNOW...?
TV ANNOUNCER: A
half-length, a full-length,
and Hot Foot takes it
by a length and a half.
Jerry Slash second by two,
Easter Baby third.
The rest of the
field is strung out.
Here's the result: $24.90
to win, $15.80 and $6.70.
In just a few minutes,
the second race of the day,
the Los Tendres Handicap.
SHUT THAT THING OFF.
HUH? OH, YEAH.
I GOT IT.
I'VE GOT IT, I'VE GOT IT.
WHAT IS IT, CHESTER?
THIS THING TAKES PICTURES
OF THINGS THAT HAPPEN
FIVE MINUTES BEFORE THEY HAPPEN,
BUT THEY HAPPEN!
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT
WE'RE GOING TO DO.
WE'RE GOING TO TAKE A
PICTURE OF THE WINNING BOARD
AT THE RACETRACK...
BEFORE THE RACE.
THE WINNING BOARD
BEFORE THE RACE, GET IT?
NO, I DON'T GET IT.
WAIT A MINUTE.
WAIT A MINUTE.
WE TAKE A PICTURE
OF THE WINNING BOARD,
AND THEN WE LOOK AT IT.
OH, CHESTER!
WE GETTING THROUGH
TO YOU, WOODWARD?
LOOK, WE TAKE A PICTURE
OF THE WINNING BOARD.
THERE'S NOTHING ON IT
BECAUSE THE RACE
HASN'T BEEN RUN YET,
BUT WE GOT A LITTLE CAMERA HERE
THAT TAKES PICTURES
FIVE MINUTES BEFORE THEY HAPPEN.
SO THE PICTURE HAS THE
WINNING NUMBERS ON THE BOARD.
WE KNOW WHAT HORSE WON.
WE KNOW HOW MUCH HE PAID.
NOW DO YOU GET IT?
YEAH! NOW I GET IT.
OKAY, EVERYBODY, GET YOUR COATS.
GRAB ONE OF MINE, AND
BE SURE TO PUT ON A TIE.
OKAY, CHET?
LET'S SEE NOW.
THAT WAS THE FIRST RACE...
WE CAN STILL CATCH THE LAST SIX.
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.
HOW MUCH MONEY HAVE WE GOT?
I GOT A TEN AND A 20.
THAT'S $30.
I KNOW IT'S $30.
I GOT... $180.
WOODWARD, YOU GOT MONEY?
YEAH, I GOT TEN.
THAT GIVES US 220 BUCKS.
IS THAT ENOUGH?
WE'RE BOUND TO HIT
ONE LONG SHOT, MAYBE TWO.
WE'LL PARLAY THIS
INTO A MILLION BUCKS.
WE CAN'T LOSE, PAULA!
WE CAN'T LOSE! COME ON!
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE, CHET!
WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT ABOUT HUMANITY?
WHAT DID HUMANITY
EVER DO FOR US?
COME ON!
WE GOT US AN IDEA.
OH, BOY, CHESTER! OH, BOY!
LOOK, MY RIBS AREN'T HURTING
YOUR ELBOW ANY, ARE THEY?
KEEP IT QUIET.
LET ME GET THE SHOT.
( shutter clicks)
OKAY.
( camera humming)
( bell rings)
AH-AH-AH.
WELL?
THERE'S NUMBERS ON IT.
6, 3, 11.
LOOK WHAT NUMBER SIX PAYS.
$47.60 TO WIN.
OH, BOY, CHESTER!
LET ME SEE.
NUMBER SIX, NUMBER SIX...
NUMBER SIX: TIDY TOO.
OKAY, BOYS AND GIRLS,
OUR MONEY GOES ON TIDY TOO.
HERE. YOU TAKE CARE OF BABY.
ANNOUNCER: Going
wide, can't hold the rail.
And Tidy Too moves into the
hole on the rail and moves fast.
TIDY TOO. TIDY TOO.
COME ON, NUMBER SIX.
And Sir Rinos falls back.
COME ON, COME ON, TIDY TOO.
COME ON, TIDY TOO.
COME ON, HORSEY!
TIDY TOO.
COME ON, COME ON.
COME ON, TIDY TOO.
WE WON.
9,500 BUCKS... OH!
HERE WE GO.
CHET, GO GET THE MONEY.
YEAH. BE RIGHT BACK.
WATCH THE CAMERA.
THANK YOU.
( bell rings)
OPEN THE BAG, HONEY.
I'VE RUN OUT OF POCKETS.
LOOK AT THE LOOT.
95 TIMES TO WIN, NUMBER FOUR.
90... 91... 92...
93... 94... 95.
HOW SOON CAN YOU MAKE DELIVERY
ON SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
NO, NO, NO. NOT BLACK.
IT'S GOT TO BE YELLOW
WITH BLACK UPHOLSTERY.
YEAH. WIRE WHEELS,
DUAL EXHAUSTS,
CONTINENTAL KIT... THE WORKS.
RIGHT. AND HOW MUCH WAS IT?
$11,000.
11 GRAND.
NO, I'M NOT BACKING OUT.
I'M THINKING ABOUT WHETHER
I WANT TO GET TWO OR NOT.
OKAY, YOU BRING THE PAPERS
AROUND IN THE MORNING.
WE'LL SETTLE THE WHOLE DEAL.
RIGHT, NO, NO, NO.
I'LL PAY CASH. YEAH.
( knock at door)
THAT MUST BE THE WAITER.
ARE YOU FINISHED WITH YOUR
SNACK, WOODWARD, DEAR?
YEAH. THAT'LL HOLD
ME TILL DINNER.
COME IN.
I CAME FOR THE DISHES, MADAM.
RIGHT HERE.
COULD YOU POSSIBLY BRING US BACK
A COUPLE BOTTLES OF CHAMPAGNE?
YES, MA'AM, I CAN.
HEY, PUT THAT DOWN.
OH, LET HIM LOOK AT IT.
BET YOU NEVER SAW
ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
MAIS NON.
MOST UNUSUAL, SIR.
ISN'T IT, THOUGH?
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW UNUSUAL.
BUT WHAT DO YOU DO
AFTER YOUR TEN PICTURES?
IS THERE ANY OTHER
WAY TO GET MORE FILM?
WE'VE ONLY HAD
IT A LITTLE WHILE.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
WHAT ABOUT TEN PICTURES?
WELL, THE INSCRIPTION
READS, "DIX A LA PROPRIETAIRE."
THAT MEANS, "TEN TO AN OWNER."
WELL, I PRESUME THAT MEANS
YOU MAY ONLY TAKE TEN.
SO ODD.
YES, YOU SEE, THE LETTERING...
YEAH, OKAY, PIERRE.
DON'T FORGET THE CHAMPAGNE.
YOU'RE GOING TO
HAVE TO GET IT FOR HER.
IF WE WANT ANYTHING
ELSE, WE'LL CALL YOU.
OKAY, BOY. BYE.
HOW MANY PICTURES DID WE TAKE?
THERE WAS ONE OF YOU.
ONE OF WOODWARD.
HOW MANY WE TAKE AT THE TRACK?
SIX... SIX RACES.
WE'VE TAKEN EIGHT PICTURES.
THERE'S ONLY TWO LEFT.
TEN.
HOW DO WE KNOW
THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS?
SOME SMART-ALECK FRENCH WAITER
TELLS US IT MEANS TEN,
SO WE FIGURE WE'VE
ONLY GOT TWO LEFT.
HOW DOES HE KNOW?
I BET WE CAN TAKE
AS MANY AS WE WANT.
WE CAN'T TAKE ANY CHANCES.
YEAH, SHE'S RIGHT.
YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK?
I THINK WE OUGHT TO SELL IT.
WHO'S RATTLING YOUR CAGE, APE?
IT DOESN'T BELONG TO YOU.
YOU'RE HERE ON CHARITY.
WE'RE GOING OUT TO
THE TRACK TOMORROW
AND BET TWO MORE RACES.
ARE YOU BOTH CRAZY?
WE GOT TO HANG
ON TO IT AND SAVE IT.
NO, WE DON'T, WE GOT TO SELL IT.
( arguing loudly)
( shutter clicks)
YOU MADE ME WASTE A PICTURE.
OOH, PALPITATIONS!
PALPITATIONS.
PHONY PALPITATIONS
AND A STUPID BROTHER!
I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THAT GUFF.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
HERE, WOODWARD, TAKE A DRINK.
THAT'S BETTER.
( camera humming)
( bell rings)
SHE'S SCREAMING.
WHY DO YOU THINK SHE'S
SCREAMING, WOODWARD?
I'LL TELL YOU WHY
SHE'S SCREAMING.
BECAUSE SOMEBODY'S TRYING TO
DO SOMETHING TO HER HUSBAND.
SOME STUPID, NO-GOOD EX-CON
WHO WANTS TO GET THAT
CAMERA AND DOESN'T CARE HOW.
Paula: DON'T!
DON'T DO IT, CHET.
PUT THAT KNIFE AWAY.
CHESTER!
IF SHE'S SCREAMING
IN THAT PICTURE,
SHE'S BECAUSE SOMEBODY'S
TRYING TO HURT HER LOVING BROTHER.
BOYS! WOODWARD!
NO, PLEASE.
PUT IT AWAY OR I'LL
TAKE OFF YOUR SKIN.
PLEASE, DON'T.
( shrieks)
( whimpering): OH, CHESTER.
OH, MY.
MY HUSBAND... WOODWARD.
I'LL DIE.
THERE'S NOTHING LEFT FOR ME.
NOTHING.
HOWEVER, WE MUST MUDDLE
THROUGH THESE THINGS.
WE MUST LIVE WITH TRAGEDY.
POOR WOODWARD. POOR CHESTER.
ONE MORE PICTURE LEFT.
HA!
( humming)
FOR POSTERITY, BOYS.
SIMPLY FOR POSTERITY.
( shutter clicks)
MAY YOU BOTH REST IN PEACE.
( door opening)
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
PARDONNEZ-MOI.
MADAME, I UNDERSTAND
THERE IS SOMETHING
IN THE WAY OF LAUNDRY
THAT I SHOULD TAKE.
YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG ROOM.
THERE'S NO LAUNDRY HERE, JACK.
IN FACT, I'M CHECKING OUT.
SO I UNDERSTAND, MADAME.
YOUR TWO FRIENDS, THEY
ALREADY CHECKED OUT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
I TOLD YOU I WAS HERE
TO TAKE THE LAUNDRY.
I'M... HOW DO YOU SAY?
CLEANING YOU OUT.
CLEANING ME OUT?
WHAT DO YOU THINK I'LL BE DOING
WHILE YOU DO THAT?
WELL, I'LL CUE YOU.
I'M GOING TO BE
CALLING THE COPS.
THE COPS?
OH, YOU MEAN THE POLICE?
MADAME WILL FORGIVE ME
BUT, IF YOU CALL THE POLICE,
MADAME WILL GET HERSELF
INTO... HOW YOU SAY?
ONE FANTASTIC BIND.
NOW THIS HERE, THIS
IS... HOW YOU SAY?
UP FOR GRABS.
DEAR LADY, I KNOW
ALL ABOUT YOU NOW.
I HAVE DONE SOME CHECKING.
YOUR HUSBAND, YOUR
BROTHER AND YOU,
YOU ARE WANTED.
NOW, AS FOR THE POLICE,
I WOULD ADVISE YOU TO
GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN.
WHEN THEY DISCOVER
WHAT IS DOWN IN THE
COURTYARD THERE,
THEY WILL BE UP
HERE SANS INVITATION.
TRANSLATION: WITHOUT INVITATION.
UNINVITED.
YOU... HOW YOU SAY? YOU DIG?
NOW, AS TO THE LAUNDRY,
THIS MAY BE BACK BY THURSDAY
OR MAYBE FRIDAY...
OR MAYBE NEVER.
BUT I'M NOT A HOG.
THIS ONE, I WILL LEAVE WITH YOU.
SACRE NOM.
THERE IS A PICTURE OF THE
COURTYARD DOWN BELOW,
BUT THERE ARE MORE
THAN TWO BODIES.
MORE THAN TWO BODIES?
( screams)
YES, THERE ARE MORE THAN
TWO BODIES DOWN THERE.
JUST LIKE THE PICTURE SHOWS...
ONE, TWO, THREE...
FOUR!
( screams)
OBJECT KNOWN AS A CAMERA...
VINTAGE UNCERTAIN,
ORIGIN UNKNOWN.
BUT, FOR THE GREEDY, THE
AVARICIOUS, THE FLEET OF FOOT
WHO CAN RUN A FOUR-MINUTE MILE
SO LONG AS THEY'RE
CHASING A FAST BUCK,
IT MAKES BELIEVE THAT IT'S
AN ALLY, BUT IT ISN'T AT ALL.
IT'S A BECKONING COME-ON
FOR A QUICK WALK AROUND
THE BLOCK IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
MAN: ROD SERLING, CREATOR
OF THE TWILIGHT ZONE,
WILL TELL YOU ABOUT
NEXT WEEK'S STORY
AFTER THIS WORD FROM
OUR ALTERNATE SPONSOR.
AND NOW, MR. SERLING.
THIS MAY LOOK TO YOU
LIKE ANY DISMAL,
DARK AND DINGY ALLEY
THAT LIES SKULKING OFF A
MILLION MYRIAD SHADOW-PLACES
OFF THE MAIN DRAGS.
ACTUALLY, IT'S THE PRIVATE
DOMAIN OF LEPRECHAUNS AND ELVES,
AND SUPPLIES THE LOCALE
OF NEXT WEEK'S TWILIGHT ZONE.
WITH US FOR A VERY SPECIAL
OCCASION IS MR. ART CARNEY,
WHO PLAYS THE ROLE OF A
DEPARTMENT STORE SANTA CLAUS,
AND HE PLAYS IT WITH THE HEART,
THE WARMTH AND THE VAST TALENT
THAT IS UNIQUELY CARNEY.
ON THE TWILIGHT ZONE NEXT
WEEK, "THE NIGHT OF THE MEEK."
MAN: BE SURE AND SEE THE
COLGATE-PALMOLIVE COMPANY'S
NEW COMEDY SHOW MY SISTER EILEEN
WEDNESDAY NIGHT ON MANY
OF THESE SAME STATIONS.