The Sylvester & Tweety Mysteries (1995–2001): Season 5, Episode 5 - Dial V for Veterinarian/California's Crusty Bronze - full transcript
[instrumental music]
[theme music]
♪ Whenever there's a crime
or trouble ♪
♪ That no one can solve
at all it seems ♪
♪ That's when they
come in on the double ♪
♪ Sylvester and Tweety
mysteries ♪
♪ It might be day
or night whenever ♪
♪ Conditions are right
for them to flee ♪
♪ Somehow it all
still fits together ♪
♪ Sylvester and Tweety
mysteries ♪
♪ If there's a full moon ♪
♪ An old house
with rotten stairs ♪
♪ Just wook
awound you ♪
♪ Chances are
we'll be there ♪
♪ Someday I'll eat
that darn canary ♪
♪ And then I'll be happy
yes sirree ♪
♪ But Hector thinks
you should be wary ♪
♪ Sylvester and Tweety
mysteries ♪
♪ The chase goes on
with each new mission ♪
♪ With backdrops aplenty
globally ♪
♪ And through it all
they're in contention ♪
♪ Sylvester and Tweety ♪
♪ Mysteries ♪♪
[dramatic music]
Wasn't Cousin Emma nice to let
us stay in her house, Tweety?
Too bad Sylvester's
been so naughty.
I hope staying in the attic
will teach him a lesson.
[shivering]
Hw was I to know she was
saving that tuna casserole
for her Canasta Club?
Some of those ladies could do
with some liposuction, anyway.
Oh, it's so wonderful
to take a break
from solving
all those mysteries.
Now that's a set-up line
if ever I heard one.
[clock chimes]
Oh, my vacuum tubes.
I nearly forgot.
It's time for Classic
Mystery Radio Theater.
[screeching]
This classic radio stuff
makes my feathers molt.
[instrumental music]
[Sylvester shivering]
Sheesh, this place gives me
the heebie-jeebies. Ooh...
[heavy breathing]
[gulps]
Is that you, Tweety, huh?
[footsteps approaching]
G-g-g-granny?
[glass shatters]
[woman screaming]
[sylvester whimpering]
[sinister laughter]
(male #1)
'You can't hide from me.
I know where you are.'
'Very well, I'll just
have to flush you out.'
I confess! I confess!
I did it!
(male #1 on radio)
'And in the end, the guilty
always confess.'
'That concludes
tonight's radio adaptation'
'of the Maltese Canary.'
Oh, pish-posh!
I could've solved that mystery
with my eyes closed.
And she goes through
life that way, too. He-he-he.
[gulps]
I'm okay, I'm okay.
There's nothing
to be afraid of
except for all the shadows
and scary things in this attic.
Hmm?
[screams]
[panting]
I'll be safe in here.
Yaah!
Oh, wait. It's probably
just another mirror.
Hello, there.
Do you wanna be my friend?
(Sylvester)
'There's no such things
as ghosts.'
'There's no such things
as ghosts.'
'There's no such things
as ghosts.'
[click]
[screaming]
[click]
[click]
Phew! What did granny
put in that tuna casserole?
Hello, there.
[Sylvester screaming]
Hello, there.
- Why do you keep running away?
- Yike!
[squeaking]
- Hello, there.
- Aah!
- Hello, there.
- Yaah!
- Why do you keep running away?
- Yaah! Aah! Aah!
Waaaahhhh!
Waaaaahhhh!
(male #1 on radio)
'Look, fright fans'
'rising from the mud,
the hideous two-headed thing'
'oozes across the swamp'
'and suddenly wraps
its slimy tentacles--'
[grunting]
Sylvester, what are
you doing here?
Your punishment
is not over yet.
Coming downstairs
and scaring us.
You naughty kitty. Whoa!
Sylvester, will you
stop this foolishness?
[grunting]
Tweety, old buddy,
you gotta believe me.
There's-there's
a ghost up there.
I think puddy's cracking.
It's back to the attic
with you.
Aah! Off. Oof. Oof.
And you'll stay in here till
you have learned your lesson.
[shivering]
I just gotta find some way
to defend myself.
Ahh..
(male #1 on radio)
'Please join us again
for another'
'bone-chilling fright fest.'
Oh, fiddlesticks.
I missed the ending
of another program.
(male #2 on radio)
'Alright, Rocky, we've got
the place surrounded.'
'Come out with your hands up.'
(male #3 on radio)
'Yeah! Eat lead, Copper.
Come and get me.'
(male #2 on radio)
'Okay, Rocky, we'll do this
the hard way.'
Oh, goody. Cops and robbers.
Hello, there.
That looks like fun.
Can I play, too? Huh?
[mumbles]
Waah!
Yaah! Waah!
(male #3 on radio)
'You'll never catch me,
Coppers.'
thud
Heavens to Betsy,
what was that?
I don't know.
Hector, go down and see
what caused that noise.
[panting]
Maybe this crime drama
is just too real.
Let's find something
a little milder.
Sheesh! This place
just gets creepier.
That's it. I'm getting
out of here.
[grunts]
[screams]
But not that way.
[grunting]
Hello, there. Don't you
want to be my friend?
Yaah!
Why do you keep running away?
I just wanna be friends.
[panting]
Oh, just like Jackson Pollock.
Wow! I never knew
you were so talented.
Huh?
[all scream]
crash
[Sylvester groans]
Sylvester, I won't tolerate
any more funny business.
[mumbles]
(male #4 on radio)
'We interrupt
our dance music program'
'to bring you
this news flash.'
'This is Orland Drells
reporting to you'
'from where an alien spaceship
has landed.'
[whimpering]
Shh! Sylvester, be quiet.
This could be important.
(male #4 on radio)
'It's down there in that pit'
'rising on tripods of steel.'
'It's some kind
of alien machine.'
'It's-it's firing on us!'
'The Martian machines are
marching down fifth avenue'
'blowing up skyscrapers
with their heat rays.'
'Run for your lives, folks.
They're coming.'
'They're coming for us.
Aah!'
'Martians? Now that's
really scary.'
Huh?
Ooh, I taught I saw
an ectoplasmic aberration.
I did, I did!
I'm outta here!
I owe you an apology,
Sylvester.
This house
really was haunted.
(male #4 on radio)
'Alas, ladies and gentlemen,
there are no Martians.'
'It has been our pleasure
bringing you'
'this modest little hoax.'
'And we certainly hope
that it didn't'
'frighten any of you
out of your wits.'
You never fooled me, buster.
I know there's no such thing
as Martians.
thud
Now, I wouldn't say that.
boom
[instrumental music]
[theme music]
♪ Whenever there's a crime
or trouble ♪
♪ That no one can solve
at all it seems ♪
♪ That's when they
come in on the double ♪
♪ Sylvester and Tweety
mysteries ♪
♪ It might be day
or night whenever ♪
♪ Conditions are right
for them to flee ♪
♪ Somehow it all
still fits together ♪
♪ Sylvester and Tweety
mysteries ♪
♪ If there's a full moon ♪
♪ An old house
with rotten stairs ♪
♪ Just wook
awound you ♪
♪ Chances are
we'll be there ♪
♪ Someday I'll eat
that darn canary ♪
♪ And then I'll be happy
yes sirree ♪
♪ But Hector thinks
you should be wary ♪
♪ Sylvester and Tweety
mysteries ♪
♪ The chase goes on
with each new mission ♪
♪ With backdrops aplenty
globally ♪
♪ And through it all
they're in contention ♪
♪ Sylvester and Tweety ♪
♪ Mysteries ♪♪
[dramatic music]
Wasn't Cousin Emma nice to let
us stay in her house, Tweety?
Too bad Sylvester's
been so naughty.
I hope staying in the attic
will teach him a lesson.
[shivering]
Hw was I to know she was
saving that tuna casserole
for her Canasta Club?
Some of those ladies could do
with some liposuction, anyway.
Oh, it's so wonderful
to take a break
from solving
all those mysteries.
Now that's a set-up line
if ever I heard one.
[clock chimes]
Oh, my vacuum tubes.
I nearly forgot.
It's time for Classic
Mystery Radio Theater.
[screeching]
This classic radio stuff
makes my feathers molt.
[instrumental music]
[Sylvester shivering]
Sheesh, this place gives me
the heebie-jeebies. Ooh...
[heavy breathing]
[gulps]
Is that you, Tweety, huh?
[footsteps approaching]
G-g-g-granny?
[glass shatters]
[woman screaming]
[sylvester whimpering]
[sinister laughter]
(male #1)
'You can't hide from me.
I know where you are.'
'Very well, I'll just
have to flush you out.'
I confess! I confess!
I did it!
(male #1 on radio)
'And in the end, the guilty
always confess.'
'That concludes
tonight's radio adaptation'
'of the Maltese Canary.'
Oh, pish-posh!
I could've solved that mystery
with my eyes closed.
And she goes through
life that way, too. He-he-he.
[gulps]
I'm okay, I'm okay.
There's nothing
to be afraid of
except for all the shadows
and scary things in this attic.
Hmm?
[screams]
[panting]
I'll be safe in here.
Yaah!
Oh, wait. It's probably
just another mirror.
Hello, there.
Do you wanna be my friend?
(Sylvester)
'There's no such things
as ghosts.'
'There's no such things
as ghosts.'
'There's no such things
as ghosts.'
[click]
[screaming]
[click]
[click]
Phew! What did granny
put in that tuna casserole?
Hello, there.
[Sylvester screaming]
Hello, there.
- Why do you keep running away?
- Yike!
[squeaking]
- Hello, there.
- Aah!
- Hello, there.
- Yaah!
- Why do you keep running away?
- Yaah! Aah! Aah!
Waaaahhhh!
Waaaaahhhh!
(male #1 on radio)
'Look, fright fans'
'rising from the mud,
the hideous two-headed thing'
'oozes across the swamp'
'and suddenly wraps
its slimy tentacles--'
[grunting]
Sylvester, what are
you doing here?
Your punishment
is not over yet.
Coming downstairs
and scaring us.
You naughty kitty. Whoa!
Sylvester, will you
stop this foolishness?
[grunting]
Tweety, old buddy,
you gotta believe me.
There's-there's
a ghost up there.
I think puddy's cracking.
It's back to the attic
with you.
Aah! Off. Oof. Oof.
And you'll stay in here till
you have learned your lesson.
[shivering]
I just gotta find some way
to defend myself.
Ahh..
(male #1 on radio)
'Please join us again
for another'
'bone-chilling fright fest.'
Oh, fiddlesticks.
I missed the ending
of another program.
(male #2 on radio)
'Alright, Rocky, we've got
the place surrounded.'
'Come out with your hands up.'
(male #3 on radio)
'Yeah! Eat lead, Copper.
Come and get me.'
(male #2 on radio)
'Okay, Rocky, we'll do this
the hard way.'
Oh, goody. Cops and robbers.
Hello, there.
That looks like fun.
Can I play, too? Huh?
[mumbles]
Waah!
Yaah! Waah!
(male #3 on radio)
'You'll never catch me,
Coppers.'
thud
Heavens to Betsy,
what was that?
I don't know.
Hector, go down and see
what caused that noise.
[panting]
Maybe this crime drama
is just too real.
Let's find something
a little milder.
Sheesh! This place
just gets creepier.
That's it. I'm getting
out of here.
[grunts]
[screams]
But not that way.
[grunting]
Hello, there. Don't you
want to be my friend?
Yaah!
Why do you keep running away?
I just wanna be friends.
[panting]
Oh, just like Jackson Pollock.
Wow! I never knew
you were so talented.
Huh?
[all scream]
crash
[Sylvester groans]
Sylvester, I won't tolerate
any more funny business.
[mumbles]
(male #4 on radio)
'We interrupt
our dance music program'
'to bring you
this news flash.'
'This is Orland Drells
reporting to you'
'from where an alien spaceship
has landed.'
[whimpering]
Shh! Sylvester, be quiet.
This could be important.
(male #4 on radio)
'It's down there in that pit'
'rising on tripods of steel.'
'It's some kind
of alien machine.'
'It's-it's firing on us!'
'The Martian machines are
marching down fifth avenue'
'blowing up skyscrapers
with their heat rays.'
'Run for your lives, folks.
They're coming.'
'They're coming for us.
Aah!'
'Martians? Now that's
really scary.'
Huh?
Ooh, I taught I saw
an ectoplasmic aberration.
I did, I did!
I'm outta here!
I owe you an apology,
Sylvester.
This house
really was haunted.
(male #4 on radio)
'Alas, ladies and gentlemen,
there are no Martians.'
'It has been our pleasure
bringing you'
'this modest little hoax.'
'And we certainly hope
that it didn't'
'frighten any of you
out of your wits.'
You never fooled me, buster.
I know there's no such thing
as Martians.
thud
Now, I wouldn't say that.
boom
[instrumental music]