The Sylvester & Tweety Mysteries (1995–2001): Season 4, Episode 7 - Feather Christmas/A Fist Full of Lutefisk - full transcript
[instrumental music]
[theme song]
♪ Whenever there's a crime
or trouble ♪
♪ That no one can solve
at all it seems ♪
♪ That's when they come
And on the double ♪
♪ Sylvester and Tweety
Mysteries ♪
♪ It may be day
or night whenever ♪
♪ Conditions are right
for them to flee ♪
♪ Some how it all still
fits together ♪
♪ Sylvester and Tweety
Mysteries ♪
♪ If there's a full moon ♪
♪ An old house
with rotten stairs ♪
♪ Just look around you! ♪
♪ Chances are we'll be there! ♪
♪ Someday I'll eat
that darn canary ♪
♪ And then I'll be happy
yes sirree ♪
♪ But Hector thinks
you should be wary ♪
♪ Sylvester and Tweety
Mysteries ♪
♪ The chase goes on
with each new mission ♪
♪ With backdrops
a-plenty globally ♪
♪ And through it all
they're in contention ♪
♪ Sylvester and Tweety ♪
♪ Mysteries ♪♪
[instrumental music]
- Tissue, madam.
- Oh, thank you, young man.
These paintings are so sad.
The artist has a special gift
for sadness, madam.
If I hung this in my home,
I'd be crying all day.
You cannot afford
one of these paintings.
A person of your obviously
limited means
could barely afford this.
Hmph. You've got
some nerve, young man.
Come along, Tweety.
Come, boys.
Looks like Earl Pink
made Dwanny see red.
Let's visit the Hungry Owl.
That's real San Francisco,
not like this tourist dive.
The Hungry Owl is owned
by Larry Alberghetti.
[slow jazz music]
I'm tickled
to see you doing so well
with your coffee house, Larry.
[snaps fingers]
Like, listen
to that groovy riff.
I must say, I've never seen
a flute that plays itself.
[snickering]
Yeow!
I'd stay away
from the puddy au lait.
Your coffee, ma'am.
Why, thank you.
[crashes]
♪ Hey diddle diden't ♪
♪ The cat took a minute ♪
♪ And the cow took a dive
at the moon ♪
♪ The avocado howled
to see such prunes ♪
♪ And the fish
ran away with the chips ♪♪
Oh, my blessed petunia!
Is that what I taught you
in English class, Larry?
Larry?
♪ A penguin seized
the universe ♪
Go, man, go!
Like, you're the livin' Enfield.
♪ How high the moon ♪♪
Huh?
[audience gasps]
(all)
Like, the flute's gone.
Yeah, man.
Like, real gone.
[slow jazz music]
Man, what a cosmic drag.
I was gonna show
the auto flute
at the Coit Tower performance
happenin' tomorrow.
Oh.
Some messy citizen
didn't use the twash can.
Oh, goodie, a clue.
Come, boys.
Hmph. Another wild-goose chase.
I'm in San Francisco,
and I'm gonna enjoy myself.
Immensely!
[sniffing]
Hector's on the trail now.
But he better huwwy up.
They're getting angwy.
[horns blaring]
[gasps]
[barking]
[gasps]
[sniffs]
[sniffs]
Smells gweat.
[sniffs]
Mmm. Oop!
Um, d-d-doesn't anybody
want some, uh, coffee?
Uh, like, espresso?
[flute music]
[crowd murmuring]
(all)
Ooh.
(all)
Aah!
(all)
Ooh.
(all)
Aah.
I see the melodious lilt
of the auto flute
has brought you
to my outdoor gallery.
- Hmph.
- Oh, it's you again.
If you've come
to buy a painting
this style is not you.
We don't want your phony
paintings, you snooty sneak.
Give back the auto flute
you stole from the Hungry Owl.
Oh, in that case,
I have some paintings
that definitely are you.
Ciao.
[grunting]
[instrumental music]
[tires screeching]
[tires screeching]
[laughing]
Oh!
Oh!
Oh, my.
[laughing]
Uh-oh. I forgot every day
is New Year's Day
in Chinatown.
[crowd cheering]
As they say
at the Hungry Owl
"Earl's gone, real gone."
[oriental music]
Wook at that,
here's the cuwprit.
[Earl screaming]
[instrumental music]
[Hector barking]
[barking continues]
[laughs]
Quick, sonny,
follow that hand car.
Sorry, lady,
it's lunch time.
But you can borrow
the cable car.
'And you don't gotta pay.
The ride's on us.'
Oh, so that's
the San Francisco treat.
[bell rings]
[bell rings]
Hand over that auto flute,
you phony art critic.
Oh, yeah.
That'll be the time-e-e!
[gasps]
[Granny screams]
[laughs]
[piano music]
Whoa!
[crunch]
Aah!
[bell ringing]
[all screaming]
[gasps]
Ta-ta. This belongs
to those with class.
Frankly, me.
With this music
attracting the yocals
I'll have the most visited
tourist spot in Frisco.
[crash]
It's San Francisco,
you out-of-town phony.
Stand back, or this flute
goes in the drink forever.
[screams]
'Who's driving this thing?'
[ship horn blows]
[all sigh]
[Hector growls]
Oh, my gosh, Alcatwaz.
[whistles]
[screaming]
(Earl)
'I've always wanted
to visit the Rock.'
[Earl grunts]
But never to stay.
That's just where you belong.
Behind bars.
Mm-hmm.
[siren wailing]
We weft our hearts
in San Francisco
but mean ol' Earl's
gonna weave his in the hole.
Look what we brought you from
Fishermen's Wharf, Sylvester.
A nice fish stew
in a hollowed-out loaf
of sourdough bread.
Ew.
I prefer bird chowder.
It doesn't stare back at me.
[flute music]
♪ Hey diddle diden't ♪
♪ The cat took a minute ♪
♪ And the cow took a dive
at the moon ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
I'm still sure
I didn't teach that
in my English class, Larry.
You know, Granny, to show
my gratitude to you
and your furry friends
I have painted for you one
groovy canvas.
Oh, an original
Beatnik painting
from a real Beatnik artist.
(all)
'Huh?'
(Larry)
'Now, that's keen, man.'
'Real keen.'
[theme music]
[theme song]
♪ Whenever there's a crime
or trouble ♪
♪ That no one can solve
at all it seems ♪
♪ That's when they come
And on the double ♪
♪ Sylvester and Tweety
Mysteries ♪
♪ It may be day
or night whenever ♪
♪ Conditions are right
for them to flee ♪
♪ Some how it all still
fits together ♪
♪ Sylvester and Tweety
Mysteries ♪
♪ If there's a full moon ♪
♪ An old house
with rotten stairs ♪
♪ Just look around you! ♪
♪ Chances are we'll be there! ♪
♪ Someday I'll eat
that darn canary ♪
♪ And then I'll be happy
yes sirree ♪
♪ But Hector thinks
you should be wary ♪
♪ Sylvester and Tweety
Mysteries ♪
♪ The chase goes on
with each new mission ♪
♪ With backdrops
a-plenty globally ♪
♪ And through it all
they're in contention ♪
♪ Sylvester and Tweety ♪
♪ Mysteries ♪♪
[instrumental music]
- Tissue, madam.
- Oh, thank you, young man.
These paintings are so sad.
The artist has a special gift
for sadness, madam.
If I hung this in my home,
I'd be crying all day.
You cannot afford
one of these paintings.
A person of your obviously
limited means
could barely afford this.
Hmph. You've got
some nerve, young man.
Come along, Tweety.
Come, boys.
Looks like Earl Pink
made Dwanny see red.
Let's visit the Hungry Owl.
That's real San Francisco,
not like this tourist dive.
The Hungry Owl is owned
by Larry Alberghetti.
[slow jazz music]
I'm tickled
to see you doing so well
with your coffee house, Larry.
[snaps fingers]
Like, listen
to that groovy riff.
I must say, I've never seen
a flute that plays itself.
[snickering]
Yeow!
I'd stay away
from the puddy au lait.
Your coffee, ma'am.
Why, thank you.
[crashes]
♪ Hey diddle diden't ♪
♪ The cat took a minute ♪
♪ And the cow took a dive
at the moon ♪
♪ The avocado howled
to see such prunes ♪
♪ And the fish
ran away with the chips ♪♪
Oh, my blessed petunia!
Is that what I taught you
in English class, Larry?
Larry?
♪ A penguin seized
the universe ♪
Go, man, go!
Like, you're the livin' Enfield.
♪ How high the moon ♪♪
Huh?
[audience gasps]
(all)
Like, the flute's gone.
Yeah, man.
Like, real gone.
[slow jazz music]
Man, what a cosmic drag.
I was gonna show
the auto flute
at the Coit Tower performance
happenin' tomorrow.
Oh.
Some messy citizen
didn't use the twash can.
Oh, goodie, a clue.
Come, boys.
Hmph. Another wild-goose chase.
I'm in San Francisco,
and I'm gonna enjoy myself.
Immensely!
[sniffing]
Hector's on the trail now.
But he better huwwy up.
They're getting angwy.
[horns blaring]
[gasps]
[barking]
[gasps]
[sniffs]
[sniffs]
Smells gweat.
[sniffs]
Mmm. Oop!
Um, d-d-doesn't anybody
want some, uh, coffee?
Uh, like, espresso?
[flute music]
[crowd murmuring]
(all)
Ooh.
(all)
Aah!
(all)
Ooh.
(all)
Aah.
I see the melodious lilt
of the auto flute
has brought you
to my outdoor gallery.
- Hmph.
- Oh, it's you again.
If you've come
to buy a painting
this style is not you.
We don't want your phony
paintings, you snooty sneak.
Give back the auto flute
you stole from the Hungry Owl.
Oh, in that case,
I have some paintings
that definitely are you.
Ciao.
[grunting]
[instrumental music]
[tires screeching]
[tires screeching]
[laughing]
Oh!
Oh!
Oh, my.
[laughing]
Uh-oh. I forgot every day
is New Year's Day
in Chinatown.
[crowd cheering]
As they say
at the Hungry Owl
"Earl's gone, real gone."
[oriental music]
Wook at that,
here's the cuwprit.
[Earl screaming]
[instrumental music]
[Hector barking]
[barking continues]
[laughs]
Quick, sonny,
follow that hand car.
Sorry, lady,
it's lunch time.
But you can borrow
the cable car.
'And you don't gotta pay.
The ride's on us.'
Oh, so that's
the San Francisco treat.
[bell rings]
[bell rings]
Hand over that auto flute,
you phony art critic.
Oh, yeah.
That'll be the time-e-e!
[gasps]
[Granny screams]
[laughs]
[piano music]
Whoa!
[crunch]
Aah!
[bell ringing]
[all screaming]
[gasps]
Ta-ta. This belongs
to those with class.
Frankly, me.
With this music
attracting the yocals
I'll have the most visited
tourist spot in Frisco.
[crash]
It's San Francisco,
you out-of-town phony.
Stand back, or this flute
goes in the drink forever.
[screams]
'Who's driving this thing?'
[ship horn blows]
[all sigh]
[Hector growls]
Oh, my gosh, Alcatwaz.
[whistles]
[screaming]
(Earl)
'I've always wanted
to visit the Rock.'
[Earl grunts]
But never to stay.
That's just where you belong.
Behind bars.
Mm-hmm.
[siren wailing]
We weft our hearts
in San Francisco
but mean ol' Earl's
gonna weave his in the hole.
Look what we brought you from
Fishermen's Wharf, Sylvester.
A nice fish stew
in a hollowed-out loaf
of sourdough bread.
Ew.
I prefer bird chowder.
It doesn't stare back at me.
[flute music]
♪ Hey diddle diden't ♪
♪ The cat took a minute ♪
♪ And the cow took a dive
at the moon ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
I'm still sure
I didn't teach that
in my English class, Larry.
You know, Granny, to show
my gratitude to you
and your furry friends
I have painted for you one
groovy canvas.
Oh, an original
Beatnik painting
from a real Beatnik artist.
(all)
'Huh?'
(Larry)
'Now, that's keen, man.'
'Real keen.'
[theme music]