The Sylvester & Tweety Mysteries (1995–2001): Season 3, Episode 13 - A Good Nephew Is Hard to Find/Mirage Sale - full transcript
[instrumental music]
[theme song]
♪ Whenever there's a crime
or trouble ♪
♪ That no one can solve
at all it seems ♪
♪ That's when they come
and on the double ♪
♪ Sylvester & Tweety
Mysteries ♪
♪ It might be day
or night whenever ♪
♪ Conditions are right
for them to flee ♪
♪ Somehow it all
still fits together ♪
♪ Sylvester & Tweety
Mysteries ♪
♪ If there's a full moon ♪
♪ An old house
with rotten stairs ♪
♪ Just look around you ♪
♪ Chances are we'll be there ♪
♪ Someday I'll eat
that darn canary ♪
♪ And then I'll be happy
yes sirree ♪
♪ But Hector thinks
you should be wary ♪
♪ Sylvester & Tweety
Mysteries ♪
♪ The chase goes on
with each new mission ♪
♪ With backdrops aplenty
globally ♪
♪ And through it all
they're in contention ♪
♪ Sylvester & Tweety ♪
♪ Mysteries ♪♪
[instrumental music]
(male narrator)
Washington, D.C.,
our nation's capital.
The home of the brave
and the free.
Look, Tweety.
The White House.
Oh, I must get a photo.
'Oh, dear. It appears
we've missed the last tour.'
Oh, I did so want to catch
a glimpse of the president.
(male #1)
'I can't do it!'
I can't spend another night
in the White House!
It's-it's haunted!
Why, it's President Generic
in the flesh!
Oh, well, at least Granny
got that glimpse she wanted.
Thanks a lot, guys.
I'd have made it out of here
if it hadn't been for those
darn security fences.
[buzzing]
Mr. President,
this is an honor.
Aah! A black cat!
[slurp]
Oof!
Why, it's just Sylvester.
'He wouldn't hurt a fly.'
A canary, maybe,
but a fly, never.
It sounds to me like you
have
a mystery on your hands.
And, as a concerned
American citizen
I'd like to humbly
offer you my services
as the world's greatest
detective, of course.
World's greatest detective, eh?
Well, alright. You can spend the
night in the Lincoln bedroom.
But don't disturb
the president. Got it?
Oh, my!
A night in the White House.
Well, don't you worry.
We'll get to the bottom
of this haunting.
I am so glad you're
on the case, Granny.
Why, thank you,
Mr. Vice president.
I see that you recognize me.
Well, actually,
I read your name badge.
Oh...well...ahem.
Let me know if you
need any help, but right now
I'm really busy. Gotta go.
I'm sorry, Hector.
They don't allow dogs
in the White House.
But they have a very nice
doghouse out back.
[door opens]
Huh?
(Granny)
And you've got a nice bed
right over here, Sylvester.
'I'm sure you won't mind
sharing with the first kitty.'
Huh?
Sheesh! You'd think
a joint this swanky
would have
an extra bed to spare.
[yawns]
Shove over, pal.
And no snoring!
I'm a very light sleeper.
[snoring]
Hmm? Grrr..
[dogs barking]
I'm much too excited
to sleep, Tweety.
I'm sure no one would mind
if we take a little tour
of our own.
[first kitty snoring]
Yeee..
So...Granny's taking her bird
for a little walk, eh?
Well, if I can't sleep
I'll just have to enjoy
my other favorite hobby
eating!
[slurping]
President Eisenhower!
Oh! Now, there was
a charismatic leader.
I think Granny likes Ike.
And I love birdie!
Hey, puddy, why not
add a few condiments
and make this a super-tasty
midnight snack?
Hmm..
Well, let's see now,
where do they keep
the presidential
pickles, peppers
and puh-puh-puh-puh-
pumpernickel?
Just a little something
to tide me over till morning.
Aah!
[knees knocking]
Who-who-who are you?
I'm the ghost
of William Howard Taft.
W-William Howard T-Taft?
I was the 27th president,
you know.
But do they ever
give me any credit?
chomp
No! I mean, why isn't
my face on any coins?
W-well, I-I..
Where are the monuments
named after me?
Where are the buildings
named after me?
If you'd just leave us alone
I'll, uh, I-I'll name-name
a bridge after you tomorrow.
I promise!
I don't want some lousy bridge.
I want you to leave
the White House...now!
Uh...okay?
- Bingo!
- Yaaah!
[groan]
Uhh!
(Sylvester)
'Aaaaah!'
Ooh! I hope that didn't
hurt half as much
as it sounded like it did.
[crackling]
[muttering]
[belching]
It says here that
the east room's so big
Teddy Roosevelt once held
wrestling matches here.
Do tell.
My! Will you look
at that wonderful piano.
[giggling]
Oh, what fun!
I haven't played since
I was a young girl.
Hah!
Oof!
Hmm?
Ooh! Aah! Aah! Aah!
Ooh! Ah!
Aah! Ow!
Yaaaah! Aah!
Somehow, you just knew
that was gonna happen.
- Oop!
- Grrr..
I am the ghost of 27th president
William Howard Taft.
[gasp]
Oh, uh, by the way, boo.
Whaaa-haaah!
- Oh, the state dining room.
- Whaaaa!
How tasteful.
Look, Tweety.
According to the tour map
that's President Monroe's
silverware.
Ooh! Ooh! Oh! Oh!
Oooh! Ah! Ah-ah-ah!
My, my.
Wasn't President Lincoln
an impressive-looking fellow?
Lincoln! Always with Lincoln.
I'll show you something
impressive, lady.
Uh...let's see, now.
Come along, Tweety.
We're off to the Green Room.
[sighing]
We gotta warn Granny!
The president is right!
Uh-oh. Puddy tat
doesn't look like
he's getting a good
night's sleep at all.
There is a ghost after all!
Well, yawn. Of course
there's a ghost.
[crashing]
[Sylvester babbling]
[exclaiming]
Now I know where the expression
"scaredy-cat" comes from.
For your information, pal,
I'm trying to haunt this place
so if you people don't mind..
[muttering]
[sighing]
[shuddering]
[knees knocking]
Meow. Meow.
Meow. Meow.
- Rowr.
- Waaah!
(Granny)
'Oh, look! Ulysses S. Grant.'
How historical.
(William)
'What do you say, hot stuff?'
23-skidoo
you guh-roovy-lookin'
chickie-poo.
Why, I never!
Well, honey, maybe you oughta.
[clang]
Oof!
[clang]
[thud]
[clanking]
[crash]
[bong]
"Dear, will be at the motel 6
if you need me.
'Love, the president."'
You don't have to send
that note, Mr. President.
You can spend the night
right here.
I've captured
your so-called spook.
ting
blast
Vice President Obsequious!
But how?
Alright, I confess.
I wanted to scare everyone off
so I could see
what it felt like
to sleep in
the presidential bedroom
to sit behind a desk
in the Oval Office, just once.
But I never meant any harm.
I just wanted more
responsibility.
Tsk-tsk-tsk.
You poor dear.
Well, I suppose we could find
some way to give you more to do.
Consider yourself pardoned.
Uh-ahem-forgiven,
I mean. Ha-ha-ha.
[clapping]
Tell me, Mr. Vice President.
Why, in heaven's name, did you
dress up as William Howard Taft?
Well, he was the largest
American president.
'I just thought he'd make
the scariest ghost.'
Plus, the costume shop
was out of Nixon masks.
Maybe you should have looked
into a new pair of bvds.
All the news
that's fit to print.
[theme music]
[theme song]
♪ Whenever there's a crime
or trouble ♪
♪ That no one can solve
at all it seems ♪
♪ That's when they come
and on the double ♪
♪ Sylvester & Tweety
Mysteries ♪
♪ It might be day
or night whenever ♪
♪ Conditions are right
for them to flee ♪
♪ Somehow it all
still fits together ♪
♪ Sylvester & Tweety
Mysteries ♪
♪ If there's a full moon ♪
♪ An old house
with rotten stairs ♪
♪ Just look around you ♪
♪ Chances are we'll be there ♪
♪ Someday I'll eat
that darn canary ♪
♪ And then I'll be happy
yes sirree ♪
♪ But Hector thinks
you should be wary ♪
♪ Sylvester & Tweety
Mysteries ♪
♪ The chase goes on
with each new mission ♪
♪ With backdrops aplenty
globally ♪
♪ And through it all
they're in contention ♪
♪ Sylvester & Tweety ♪
♪ Mysteries ♪♪
[instrumental music]
(male narrator)
Washington, D.C.,
our nation's capital.
The home of the brave
and the free.
Look, Tweety.
The White House.
Oh, I must get a photo.
'Oh, dear. It appears
we've missed the last tour.'
Oh, I did so want to catch
a glimpse of the president.
(male #1)
'I can't do it!'
I can't spend another night
in the White House!
It's-it's haunted!
Why, it's President Generic
in the flesh!
Oh, well, at least Granny
got that glimpse she wanted.
Thanks a lot, guys.
I'd have made it out of here
if it hadn't been for those
darn security fences.
[buzzing]
Mr. President,
this is an honor.
Aah! A black cat!
[slurp]
Oof!
Why, it's just Sylvester.
'He wouldn't hurt a fly.'
A canary, maybe,
but a fly, never.
It sounds to me like you
have
a mystery on your hands.
And, as a concerned
American citizen
I'd like to humbly
offer you my services
as the world's greatest
detective, of course.
World's greatest detective, eh?
Well, alright. You can spend the
night in the Lincoln bedroom.
But don't disturb
the president. Got it?
Oh, my!
A night in the White House.
Well, don't you worry.
We'll get to the bottom
of this haunting.
I am so glad you're
on the case, Granny.
Why, thank you,
Mr. Vice president.
I see that you recognize me.
Well, actually,
I read your name badge.
Oh...well...ahem.
Let me know if you
need any help, but right now
I'm really busy. Gotta go.
I'm sorry, Hector.
They don't allow dogs
in the White House.
But they have a very nice
doghouse out back.
[door opens]
Huh?
(Granny)
And you've got a nice bed
right over here, Sylvester.
'I'm sure you won't mind
sharing with the first kitty.'
Huh?
Sheesh! You'd think
a joint this swanky
would have
an extra bed to spare.
[yawns]
Shove over, pal.
And no snoring!
I'm a very light sleeper.
[snoring]
Hmm? Grrr..
[dogs barking]
I'm much too excited
to sleep, Tweety.
I'm sure no one would mind
if we take a little tour
of our own.
[first kitty snoring]
Yeee..
So...Granny's taking her bird
for a little walk, eh?
Well, if I can't sleep
I'll just have to enjoy
my other favorite hobby
eating!
[slurping]
President Eisenhower!
Oh! Now, there was
a charismatic leader.
I think Granny likes Ike.
And I love birdie!
Hey, puddy, why not
add a few condiments
and make this a super-tasty
midnight snack?
Hmm..
Well, let's see now,
where do they keep
the presidential
pickles, peppers
and puh-puh-puh-puh-
pumpernickel?
Just a little something
to tide me over till morning.
Aah!
[knees knocking]
Who-who-who are you?
I'm the ghost
of William Howard Taft.
W-William Howard T-Taft?
I was the 27th president,
you know.
But do they ever
give me any credit?
chomp
No! I mean, why isn't
my face on any coins?
W-well, I-I..
Where are the monuments
named after me?
Where are the buildings
named after me?
If you'd just leave us alone
I'll, uh, I-I'll name-name
a bridge after you tomorrow.
I promise!
I don't want some lousy bridge.
I want you to leave
the White House...now!
Uh...okay?
- Bingo!
- Yaaah!
[groan]
Uhh!
(Sylvester)
'Aaaaah!'
Ooh! I hope that didn't
hurt half as much
as it sounded like it did.
[crackling]
[muttering]
[belching]
It says here that
the east room's so big
Teddy Roosevelt once held
wrestling matches here.
Do tell.
My! Will you look
at that wonderful piano.
[giggling]
Oh, what fun!
I haven't played since
I was a young girl.
Hah!
Oof!
Hmm?
Ooh! Aah! Aah! Aah!
Ooh! Ah!
Aah! Ow!
Yaaaah! Aah!
Somehow, you just knew
that was gonna happen.
- Oop!
- Grrr..
I am the ghost of 27th president
William Howard Taft.
[gasp]
Oh, uh, by the way, boo.
Whaaa-haaah!
- Oh, the state dining room.
- Whaaaa!
How tasteful.
Look, Tweety.
According to the tour map
that's President Monroe's
silverware.
Ooh! Ooh! Oh! Oh!
Oooh! Ah! Ah-ah-ah!
My, my.
Wasn't President Lincoln
an impressive-looking fellow?
Lincoln! Always with Lincoln.
I'll show you something
impressive, lady.
Uh...let's see, now.
Come along, Tweety.
We're off to the Green Room.
[sighing]
We gotta warn Granny!
The president is right!
Uh-oh. Puddy tat
doesn't look like
he's getting a good
night's sleep at all.
There is a ghost after all!
Well, yawn. Of course
there's a ghost.
[crashing]
[Sylvester babbling]
[exclaiming]
Now I know where the expression
"scaredy-cat" comes from.
For your information, pal,
I'm trying to haunt this place
so if you people don't mind..
[muttering]
[sighing]
[shuddering]
[knees knocking]
Meow. Meow.
Meow. Meow.
- Rowr.
- Waaah!
(Granny)
'Oh, look! Ulysses S. Grant.'
How historical.
(William)
'What do you say, hot stuff?'
23-skidoo
you guh-roovy-lookin'
chickie-poo.
Why, I never!
Well, honey, maybe you oughta.
[clang]
Oof!
[clang]
[thud]
[clanking]
[crash]
[bong]
"Dear, will be at the motel 6
if you need me.
'Love, the president."'
You don't have to send
that note, Mr. President.
You can spend the night
right here.
I've captured
your so-called spook.
ting
blast
Vice President Obsequious!
But how?
Alright, I confess.
I wanted to scare everyone off
so I could see
what it felt like
to sleep in
the presidential bedroom
to sit behind a desk
in the Oval Office, just once.
But I never meant any harm.
I just wanted more
responsibility.
Tsk-tsk-tsk.
You poor dear.
Well, I suppose we could find
some way to give you more to do.
Consider yourself pardoned.
Uh-ahem-forgiven,
I mean. Ha-ha-ha.
[clapping]
Tell me, Mr. Vice President.
Why, in heaven's name, did you
dress up as William Howard Taft?
Well, he was the largest
American president.
'I just thought he'd make
the scariest ghost.'
Plus, the costume shop
was out of Nixon masks.
Maybe you should have looked
into a new pair of bvds.
All the news
that's fit to print.
[theme music]