The Sylvester & Tweety Mysteries (1995–2001): Season 1, Episode 5 - Something Fishy Around Here - full transcript

(Sylvester)
Tokyo's Water-Land Theme Park

where people come
to ride fish rides

fly fish kites,
take tours through giant fish

and see Charlene,
the world's largest tuna.

[crowd chanting]
'Free Charlene. Free Charlene.'

Free Charlene. Free Charlene.

Forward! Screamcease,
"Free that tuna!"

[crowd chanting]
Free that tuna. Free that tuna.

Free that tuna. Free that tuna.

Free that tuna.

[all gasps]



(Sylvester)
Uh-oh, something's
fishy around here.

I mean, uh,
somebody stole the fish.

[instrumental music]

I'll get her back.

Hello. World's greatest
marine detective?

- Hercule De L'eau here.
- 'Our fish is gone.'

- A fishnapping?
- 'She's gone.'

The world's biggest tuna?

Uh, I'd like to help

but I'm either saving
a fragile ecosystem

or I have the mumps.
I forget which.

Au revoir.

There's only one person
who can help us find Charlene.

Granny.



[together]
Granny?

- Oh!
- Granny.

[theme song]

♪ Whenever there's a crime
or trouble ♪

♪ That no one can
solve at all it seems ♪

♪ That's when they come
and on the double ♪

♪ Sylvester & Tweety Mysteries ♪

♪ It might be day or night
whenever ♪

♪ Conditions are right
for them to flee ♪

♪ Somehow it all still
fits together ♪

♪ Sylvester & Tweety Mysteries ♪

♪ If there's a full moon ♪

♪ An old house
with rotten stairs ♪

♪ Just look around you ♪

♪ Chances are we'll be there ♪

♪ Someday I'll eat
that darn canary ♪

♪ And then I'll be happy
yessirree ♪

♪ But Hector thinks
you should be wary ♪

♪ Sylvester & Tweety Mysteries ♪

♪ The chase goes on
with each new mission ♪

♪ With backdrops a-plenty
globally ♪

♪ And through it all
they're in contention ♪

♪ Sylvester & Tweety ♪

♪ Mysteries ♪

[instrumental music]

[indistinct shouting]

Friends of Screamcease

help has arrived.

[crowd cheering]

[Hector growls]

Boys, meet Alba Core,
president of Screamcease.

Oh, how sweet.

My, what intelligent
animals.

[gasps]

[laughing]

[instrumental music]

Now, then, whom do you suspect?

He's an hourly employee.
He knows nothing.

Personally, I believe Sushihana
of Tokyo is behind this.

Oh, land sakes alive.
Why do you suspect them?

As the most famous
restaurant
in the Ginza district

they have a yen for tuna.
If you get my meaning.

Well, no,
but we'll go there anyway.

Good. Otherwise the whole story
just sits around.

[yelling]

[speaking in foreign language]

(Fishimene)
'Welcome to Sushihana.'

I'm Soh Fishimene, host of this
honorable restaurant.

[chuckling]
Watch me crack him.

So, Mr. Fishimene, why did you
kidnap Charlene the Tuna?

But I didn't.
Would madam care to order?

Was it for ransom?

Maybe you needed the money
to pay off a blackmailer.

Uh, perhaps madam would like
a little more time.

So you could marry a woman
with a sordid past

who's trying to reform.

Go away.

Confess!

Oh-ho-ho, that went rather well,
I thought.

This crime could take a long
time to solve.

[instrumental music]

[Sylvester yells]

Ha.

No clues in this fishy.

No clues in that fishy.

No clues in this fishy.

[instrumental music]

Hmm.

I could savor some of these
undersea delectables

instead of obsessing
on that stupid bird.

[grunting]

I could, but it's tradition.

[Tweety sniffs]

Boy, it sure stinks
inside this fish.

Oof!

Ooh, a punching bag.

Must be for the worms
to work out on.

[grunts]

[groans]

[grunting]

[moaning]

[grunting]

[grunting]

[grunting]

[grunting]

Have you become
a type of wise guy?

Dishonor!

[yells]

[gasps]

[grunting]

[grunting]

[grunting]

[indistinct shouting]

[all yelling]

Oh, my, where's Tweety?

Go find Tweety.

I'm going to question
the suspect.

[instrumental music]

Young man, you're a toughie.

If I didn't know better,
I'd think you were innocent.

[sniffing]

Huh?

[screaming]

[chefs yelling]

[panting]

[grunting]

Hey.

[grunting]

Ack!

Bad old pussycat.

[grunting]

[instrumental music]

- Ah!
- Ah!

[grunting]

- Ah!
- Ah!

I hope none of you gentlemen
is allergic to pussycats.

[indistinct chatter]

Please, come back.
This rarely happens.

Why, thank you, Hector.

Fishimene is a tough nut
to crack.

I'll have to try something else.

I'm not sure what, but something
is bound to strike me.

[dramatic music]

Hmm.

[hissing]

[gasps]

Hmm.

[arrows whizzing]

Oh?

Hmm. You'd think something
would turn up.

[chirping]

My, this symbol looks familiar.

Is it a secret code from triad
gangs on the mainland?

Oh. It was just dirt
on my glasses.

Ah-ha!

That symbol stands for the dojo

of kendo-master Ichthi Ologi.

Wow, Granny knows her stuff.

It says so here
in a small print.

"Learn to chop.

"Make the cut in
Master Ichthi Ologi's

Combat Academy
and Sushi School."

Of course, it all makes sense.

(Ichthi)
'Yes. I wanted Charlene
the Tuna.'

Excellent chance to prove
my sushi-slicing technique.

But now no fish.

Life is awful like that.

Master Ichthi Ologi,
how do you explain this?

[stammering]
I mean, this?

Oh. It belongs to my former
student, Tunamoto.

I had to expel him.

He is a very rowdy boy.

'I'll send it to him with the
rest of his belongings, COD.'

Hmm. Tunaman has fish
on the brain.

There's the mean old assassin
that tried to hurt Granny.

[instrumental music]

[grunting]

A whole room of assassins.
I'd better check them all.

[grunting]

[grunting]

Ow!

[grunting]

[crashing]

[grunting]

That assassin looks really
suspicious.

[speaking in foreign language]

[chomp]

So your student, Tunamoto,
wasn't always a
troublemaker?

Yeow!

No. But he started spending time
at Water-Land and, uh..

This racket is really
ticking me off.

[grunting]

Bad old pussycat.

[crash]

Ooh, pussy really know
how to catch a cab.

That's the last straw.

(Sylvester)
'Ow! Ow!'

[groaning]

You stay out, big red-nose cat.

Don't track up my floor.

[slurps]
Ah, a succulent snack.

[gulps]

[snarling]

[cranking]

No, come on.
Guess. Guess what it is.

We really should be going,
Mr. Ologi.

I'm afraid we still have
a large tuna to find.

Tuna not go anywhere. You guess.

Oh. Oh, very well.

A bird.

No. Why bird?

It's a giant squid.

I made a giant squid.

What do you suppose
that bad old pussycat up to now?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[instrumental music]

Excuse me, young Nasan,
but is today your birthday?

[gasps]
Whatever do you mean

most honorable little bird?

[dynamite hissing]

[explodes]

[sighs]
Happy birthday to me.

[grunting]

There you are, Tweety.
I was so worried.

We should be off now
and find Charlene.

[crash]

[growls]

[gasps]
Tunamoto.

Oh, dear. A ninja's work is
never done.

[yells]

Ooh, you big bully.

Why don't you pick on
someone
your own size?

[yells]

You mind your manners,
young fella, and your
breath.

[growls]

[yells]

(Sylvester)
Now, who'd be so irresponsible
as to give a machete to a baby?

[dramatic music]

Uh-oh.

Land sakes alive, you might have
hurt someone with this.

[crying]

I've been pantsed.

There, there, Tuna san,
tell Granny all about it.

[crying]
Very well.

That was easy.

I stole the big tuna to sell

to a mysterious tuna tycoon.

And just where
did you plan to meet?

At the Sashimi..

...a downtown-Tokyo hot spot.

Uh, sorry. No unpaid
endorsements on this show.

Uh, one more thing.

Where's Charlene?

[whispering indistinctly]

Gracious, that's very clever.

[grunting]

[instrumental music]

One more little stop and, uh..

...this case is in the can.

And now, my friends,
who are gathered here for fun

'let's all do the umbrella.'

[instrumental muisc]

[Sylvester growls]

You behave or you'll be padding
a violin case next.

Now, all we have to do
is wait for Tunamoto's contact.

That slimy fishnapper.

[slurps]

Somehow, I expected
you to be larger.

I've been sick.

I'm looking for
a woman named Charlene.

Oh, I hear she's a real
catch.

But sometimes it's, uh,
catch-as-catch-can.

I have a can opener right here.

[gasps]

Alba Core?
Thought you could outfox me?

Hector, sic her.

Bartender, get me the police

and charge my drink
to Alba Core.

Huh? Huh. Huh?

[ripping]

Ah. Huh?

[slurping]

Oh!

[grunting]

[Alba growls]

Gotcha. Oof!

[grunting]

[microphone squeaks]

[grunting]

[growls]

[clamoring]

Ooh.

[instrumental music]

[indistinct yelling]

[whack]

[applauding]

Caught red-handed.

I'd do anything
to save my giant fishy-whishums.

Charlene should be free.
Free to stay at my place.

No one's ever going to eat you

my poor giant
fishy-wishy-whooshy.

[sighs]

[gasps]

[thuds]

[grunting]

[grunting]

It's amazing what
they can vacuum-pack

into a can these days.

I think it's time
to wrap up this fish story.

[laughing]
Wanna bet?

[engine rumbling]

Come on, after him.
Let's get him.

[indistinct yelling]

This sort of thing only
happens

'cause pussy never eats
a properly balanced meal.

[instrumental music]