The Spectacular Spider-Man (2008–2009): Season 2, Episode 9 - Probable Cause - full transcript

[GUNFIRE]

[EXPLOSIONS]

SHOCKER:
Whoa there, hoss!

You're jumpier
than a frog on Texas tarmac.

Why, I reckon you got lucky,
Ricochet.

Won't happen again.

[♪♪♪]

MASON:
Time, gentlemen.

You see, my skill-enhancement
suits work perfectly.

And a slight adjustment to your
kinetic energy regulator

will put even more Ric
in your 'ochet.



[LAUGHS]

Nice moves, partners.

Thanks.

So, Ox,
if Montana is Shocker

and Fancy Dan is Ricochet,
what do we--?

Ox.

That works.

Well, chief, what do you think?

I like what I see.

[♪♪♪]

♪ Livin' on the edge
Fighting crime, spinning webs ♪

♪ Swinging from
The highest ledge ♪

♪ He can leap above our heads ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah ♪



♪ Ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ Villains on the rise
And the city's victimized ♪

♪ Looking up with no surprise
Arriving in the speed of time ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ Spectacular
Spectacular Spider-Man ♪

♪ Spectacular
Spectacular Spider-Man ♪

♪ Spectacular ♪

♪ Spectacular
Spectacular Spider-Man ♪

♪ Spectacular
Spectacular Spider-Man ♪

[♪♪♪]

You went to the Enforcers?

Good morning, Hammerhead.

Since when does the Big Man
go straight to the hired help?

Silvermane is being
released from prison,

and Dr. Octopus looms.

With a gang war
on the horizon,

I must build my war chest.

Why am I suddenly
out of the loop?

After the oil tanker fiasco

and the Rhino specs
acquisition failure,

I assumed you had
too much on your plate.

Especially since job one
was creating super-villains

to distract Spider-Man.

With all the freaks
running around,

Spidey's distracted enough.

Why spend money on what
we can get for free?

Control.

You used to know that.

Shut the door on your way out.

[♪♪♪]

[CAR HORNS HONKING]

[SIGHS]
Life is so sweet.

The old Peter Parker
would have been stuck

in that traffic jam.

But not the
Spectacular Spider-Man.

Hey, Sha Shan,
wanna see the pass

that won us the
State Championship?

[SCOFFS]
Not really.

Hey, Brown, get the ball.

No, no, no, no, no!

Okay, maybe not so sweet.

STACY:
All right, time to choose
partners

for tonight's
police ride-along.

Remember, this is
an educational endeavor.

A front-row seat
at how the police operate,

not a social activity.

Is it really
that bad?

It really is,

but you'll clean up
and we'll still be partners.

STACY:
So no arguments

over who
rides with whom.

Names are in the hat.

[ALL GROAN]

Sorry, Hobes,

I want
first shot at--

Harry Osborn?
Wait, I want a do-over.

Hobie Brown.

Don't say it.

Gwen Stacy.

Mark Allan.

Uh, it says
Rand Robertson.

Rand's not even in this class.

Fine, it says Stinky Pete.
You happy now?

[GROANS]

SPIDER-MAN:
Stinky Pete?

Like Puny Parker's
not bad enough.

Oh, at least I had
time to shower

before the ride-along

with the ever-personable
Miss Avril.

I can't believe
I used to have a crush on--

STACY:
Flash, Harry,

you're with Sergeant Carter
and Officer DeWolff.

So you two rookies
ready?

Let the thrills begin.

Thrills? Please.

They're not taking us
anywhere cool.

Not with Norman Osborn's
spawn in the car.

Besides, cops don't handle
the real threats anymore.

Spider-Man takes down
all the genuine big bads.

What makes you think
your costumed vigilante

isn't a big bad himself?

Oh, come on,
DeWolff.

Kid's just saying
what everyone's thinking.

DeWOLFF:
Sarge, we've been through this.

Spider-Man
means well probably.

But when he takes the law
into his own hands,

he goes too far.

CARTER:
You ask me,

Spidey hasn't gone
far enough.

Bank heists? Really?
Isn't that a bit beneath you?

Nothing wrong
with a good heist

if the take's worth
our while.

Our while?

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

[GRUNTS]

Bug,

meet the
New Enforcers.

[♪♪♪]

Great field trip, Dad.

Perfect.
Parker's late.

So now I'm stuck with
King Geek and the teacher.

No offense.

[GUNSHOT]

The New Enforcers?

[CHUCKLES]

Oh, yeah, gotta love

those heart-tugging
reunion shows.

Enough jawing.
Ox, you're up.

SHOCKER:
Ricochet, go.

SPIDER-MAN:
Ox? Ricochet?

Those names might sound cool
back at the ranch, but--

RICOCHET:
We're just getting
started, Spidey.

OX:
Uh-uh.

Ox is right.

We got us
a strict timetable.

Reckon we'll have
to squash you later, bug.

Well, maybe just one
for the road.

[SHOCKER LAUGHS]

It's pre-Columbian.

Some believe the wearer
actually takes on

the personality of the mask.

Whatever.

Big Man wants
another super-villain.

Same deal as before.
You in?

Happy to oblige.

I've found a new scientist
to oversee the project.

Someone whose temperament

is more in line
with these endeavors,

someone who understands
how the world works today

and isn't afraid
to make it his.

I presume
in your line of work,

those are the qualities
it takes to be in charge.

No doubt the Big Man
has those qualities.

And I'm sure
he knows

you have those
qualities as well.

You're late.

I, um, uh...

Crashed your bike?

Yeah. Yeah, my--
My bike

Good guess.

What?
Back there?

You mean I have to
sit next to him too?

So, Mary Jane,

who'd you really
want to partner with?

I'm not really
a partner person.

I hear you.

Everyone's
always bugging about

who goes out with who.

Yeah, as if a night out
has to be life-changing.

What's wrong with just
having a little fun?

Nada, chica.

You and me, we should show them
how to do it right.

A date.

But not a date-date.

Are we on a ride-along

or a "ride-along
ride-along?"

HARRY:
A real bank robbery.

You gotta admit,
this is cool.

No, Os-brat.
This is boring.

A robbery in progress
would be cool.

Captain, I knew Spider-Man
couldn't be trusted.

This mess is all
your fault.

Me? I-- I'd never
rob a bank.

Not this, you dweeb.

The social order.

You crossed
clique lines

and put some kind
of geek spell on Liz.

And now no one at M-cubed
knows their place.

Even Flash is trying
to date a nerd

and she's saying no.

No offense, Flash.

Oh, that mess.

[CHUCKLES]

Um, sorry?

Damage doesn't fit
the Spider's M.O.

I'd guess he fought
someone here.

Go, Spidey.
What's this?

[GRUNTS]

This hole leads to the
dry cleaner's next door.

Perps tried to hide it.

Call the owner. Find out
if anything's missing.

PETER:
A dry cleaner's?

Why would the New Enforcers
rob a dry cleaner's?

Incoming shipment.

LIZ:
So, uh, Gwen,

you and Harry seem to be
getting along great.

He's a great guy.

And you two make
a great couple.

Yeah, we're great.

Um, and y-you and Peter
make a-- A great couple too.

Yeah. We do.

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Wrong way.
You want--

[GRUNTING]

Elevator kill switch
disabled.

You got the monitor link
on redirect?

Uh-huh.

[BEEPING]

Party time, boys.

Let's get fancy.

Captain.
Owner of the dry cleaners.

[GRUNTS]

Look, what's the dealio?

I thought we got past

the whole geek-torment
thing last fall.

We did till you
ditched the team

right before playoffs
to go to Europe with Mommy.

Hobie stepped up
and we won State anyway.

Of course, if I'd had
a guy with your speed,

I might've gotten off
the winning pass sooner

and I wouldn't have
taken this hit.

Yeah, uh, the thing is
I was drinking this stuff,

Globulin Green.

It got bad
and I had to go away.

You were playing juiced?

You know
what this means?

If anyone finds out,

the games you played in
would be disqualified

along with
our championship.

[GRUNTS]

I'd have messed up my knee
for nothing.

OFFICER:
Stop right there.

[GRUNTING]

They're heading
for the vault elevator.

Hit the kill switch!

It's not working!

[OFFICERS GRUNT]

[ELEVATOR DINGS]

[OX HUMMING
"SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN"]

♪ Spider-Man ♪

♪ Spider-Man ♪

It's catchy.

The dry cleaner
had a contract

to launder
Federal Reserve uniforms.

By busting in
through the bank,

the thieves set us
on the wrong path.

Gave them time
to make their move.

Treasury Department's brought
in a mobile command center.

You two will be
safe inside.

Uh, if-- If--
If you don't mind,

I'd like to snap
some pics for the Bugle.

And, uh, I could get
some good shots

from behind that van.

Be careful.
And stay out of sight.

Thanks. I thought we'd be
stuck with him all night.

I said
I'd take some pics.

Didn't say
that was all I'd do.

[DINGS]

SHOCKER:
Now there's a pretty sight.

A billion dollars
worth of gold.

And we're trapped
inside with it.

Three perps did this?

SPIDER-MAN:
Excuse me,

but I have a pretty good idea
who those perps are.

[♪♪♪]

SHOCKER:
As promised,

our chariot awaits.

OFFICER:
Perps were tough but dumb.

They destroyed the elevator.

The vault's 86 feet
below sea level.

They're trapped.
It'll take days,

maybe weeks,
to reach them.

Shocker's a pro.

He wouldn't have
acted without a plan.

Which means
if I don't get down there fast,

you'll be left
with one big empty vault.

Wait, you can't--
It's okay.

He's on our side.

[GRUNTS]

[♪♪♪]

SHOCKER:
Come on, let's show our guest

a little
down-home hospitality.

Ox, give old Ricochet
a boost.

And I'll give him a ride.

[♪♪♪]

Oh, great.

I get to play
Follow the Bouncing Bad Guy.

[SPIDER-MAN GRUNTS]

Really gotta get me

one of those shock-absorbing
suits.

But until then,

I'll just make do
with what I've got.

[SPIDER-MAN GRUNTS]

SHOCKER:
Exit door's open.

Load her up.
We'll squash the bug.

[IMITATING SHOCKER]
Squash the bug. Squash the bug.

[NORMAL VOICE]
Don't you know any other tunes?

[GRUNTS]

Skedaddle.
But there's still so much gold.

Can't risk it,
unless you wanna tell

the Big Man
we lost his take.

No, thank you.

[SPIDER-MAN GROANS]

[GRUNTS]

Most expensive bruises
I've ever gotten.

Pardon me, boys.

[GRUNTS]

[SIGHS]

What a revolting development
this is.

[♪♪♪]

Bug!

[GRUNTS]

[BRAKES SQUEALING]

[ALL SCREAM]

[SPIDER-MAN GRUNTS]

Get him!

Don't let go, Ox.

He is a slippery
little piece of meat.

So tenderize him.

[SPIDER-MAN GRUNTS]

More?
No.

No more.

Just get it over with,
Shocker.

Make it quick.

Never did like to see
a poor, dumb animal suffer.

Like, say, Br'er Rabbit.

[SCREAMS]

Never touch
another man's treasure.

SPIDER-MAN:
One man's treasure
is another man's brake pads.

SPIDER-MAN:
Now if I wanted you

to get away
with the gold--

[GRUNTS]

Watch it,
you big Ox.

So we just
sit here all night?

I mean, some of us
have a life, you know.

No offense.

[GUNSHOT]

Saddle up, pards.

We're riding out
of this concrete-box canyon.

[SHOCKER GRUNTS]

SALLY:
Is that the geek's camera?

Peter!

[GROANS]

Next time, bug.

Go!

[TIRES SQUEAL]

[TIRES POPPING]

You know, they
just don't make getaway cars

like they used to.

[TIRES SQUEALING]

[GUNS COCK]

[SIRENS BLARING]

There's no body, Sally.
Peter--

Was blown to bits!

Oh, great,
what'll I tell Liz?

She looks awful
in black.

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

PETER:
Did I miss much?

Peter!

Wait, how come
you're still alive?

I took
a bathroom break?

But your camera...

Oh, man,
my new camera.

I suppose you left it
on auto-shoot

to try to get a few pictures
while indisposed.

Uh, yeah. Exactly.

Do you know
what you put me through?

I didn't realize
you cared.

Oh, I so don't.

But I don't want you
blown to bits either.

I'm not a monster.

But if you tell anyone
I hugged you,

you'll wish you were
behind that van.

Enlightening
field trip, sir.

Really.

DAVIS:
I'm sorry, coach.

I had no choice.

I had to report
Harry Osborn's actions

to the N.Y.S.H.S.F.F.

Yeah, the Nyshsff.

The Mustangs'
championship title

is now under review.

Nice, Osborn.

Bad enough
you juiced.

You had to spill
and ruin it for--

He didn't spill.

I did.

Title's meaningless if it's
not won fair and square.

Thanks.

You did good.

They'll see that,
eventually.

Meantime,

you want
to grab a coffee?

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]