The Sopranos (1999–2007): Season 6, Episode 14 - Stage 5 - full transcript
Johnny Sac finds out he only has 3 months to live. Meanwhile, 'Cleaver' premieres and is a hit, while Carmela has mixed emotions about it, saying too much of it is based on Tony.
Frankie, where are you?
Welcome to the chop shop, cugine.
You can't kill me twice, Sally Boy.
I'm already fucking dead, remember?
I'm the boss, Michael.
What you had belongs to me.
Even the girl I loved?
What's mine is mine.
What's yours is mine.
Well, this is mine too, Sally.
Now you can have it.
Fuck Ben Kingsley.
Danny Baldwin took him
to fucking acting school.
Very well directed, Morgan.
I think there's potentially
more money in this than in the porn.
So what do we think?
We need the extra scene?
I like it the way it is.
I don't know, Chrissy,
these audiences today love blood.
I tend to agree with Carlo.
I'm thinking one more sexy kill.
When Michael follows Centrella
to the strip club,
what if he chops up
one of the women?
Who, as fate would have it,
was at one time Sally Boy's mistress.
Two extra shoot days, at a minimum.
If it buys us a theatrical release...
I'm gonna have to get
more money from Tony.
I want this fucking thing out there.
- Yeah, T, what's up?
- You talked to the air mattress guy?
I'm in editing.
We just saw the cut of Cleaver.
- And?
- Awesome as is.
The lawyer called.
We might have to change the title.
The Eldridge Cleaver estate
want an injunction.
If you wanna see some of it,
we're finishing the ADR after lunch.
- What's that again?
- Sound dubbing.
Call this dispatcher.
It's a holiday weekend.
Thousands of people
will be at the beach.
I'm on it.
- He coming down?
- Please.
He don't give two shits
about production.
It's a little boring, I gotta say.
I mean, that was surprising to me.
- Mr Sacrimoni, how are you today?
- lsn't that for you to tell me?
I wish I had better news.
Based on the latest pictures,
the cancer has continued
to metastasise from the lungs.
We show masses in the mediastinal lymph
nodes, both kidneys and the brain.
The headaches.
So the lobectomy, radiation,
the goddamn chemo, what was all that?
For kicks?
Those were our options at the time.
Now what are our options?
I wouldn't recommend any.
We're looking at stage four
small cell carcinoma of the lungs.
- There's no stage five.
- That's correct.
How long?
Difficult to say.
I have seen miracles over the years.
- Forget the miracles.
- Three months.
Give or take.
Thank you for your candour.
We have a plane back to Springfield.
How you doing, John?
It's funny. Ironic. Whichever.
I got here.
I quit smoking after 38 years,
exercised, ate right.
And for what?
Even still, it was the right move.
Here she is, my girl.
How are you, sweetie?
- Hey, Dad.
- Hi.
What did Rosen say?
- How's the hotel? You all settled in?
- It's fine.
How are you, angel? You look beautiful.
- I'm good. Eric sends his love.
- That's nice.
John, what about Rosen?
I don't know. I...
I don't know, sweetie.
- I'm very, very sick.
- Oh, my God.
All right, don't cry.
Don't cry. You don't have to make it
any harder than it is.
No physical contact, please.
- I love you, John.
- I love you too, sweetie.
- Daddy.
- I know. I know.
Ladies, no contact.
All right.
You come back,
you see me again tomorrow.
We have more time, huh?
Could I bum one of those?
It's casual, though, right?
It's a movie premiere.
We should dress accordingly.
It's a cast-and-crew screening.
It's in the city, Tony,
with an after-party at a bar
in the Meatpacking district.
That place is very chic now.
Meat packers?
I'm a happily married man.
I'm telling you it's not dress-up.
Speaking of dress-up, Christopher said
Kelli is having her wedding dress
made into an outfit
- for the baby to be christened in.
- Sweet.
You all right?
Are you taking a date to the screening?
- If I can meet a normal guy, maybe.
- I heard that.
- What, Finn wasn't normal?
- I don't intend to discuss Finn.
What about that guy
in your MCAT review?
Please, he's completely
fixated on his O-chem final.
He wants to be a doctor.
Tell him it's educational.
There's body parts all over this movie.
Screw the movie.
I just wanna hang with celebs.
You think you're gonna
get to sleep with Paris Hilton?
What? No.
Stop fidgeting and eat your noodles.
- I don't want them.
- Where are you going?
The bathroom. Jesus.
- You two have a fight?
- I don't know.
Keep an eye on his temp.
We'll finish out the week on the Ceftin.
You rest now.
I'll see you in the morning.
- He should be on Heparin.
- Excuse me.
Listen to him. Check his ABG.
I'm gonna have to ask you again
to not interfere, Warren.
I'm gonna change your sheets.
What are you,
the world's smartest orderly?
These days I am.
22 years a practising oncologist,
specialising in cancers of the liver.
Roll to your right, please.
Let me spare us the awkwardness.
I killed my wife.
Not that it's any justification,
I had reason to suspect
she was cheating on me
with her chiropractor.
Jesus.
Granted, I was abusing cocaine
at the time, and alcohol.
But I came home one day,
shot her four times. Twice in the head.
I killed her aunt too.
I didn't know she was there.
Roll over, please.
And the mailman.
At that point I had to fully commit.
Why are you here exactly?
I've been accused of being part of
a certain ltalian-American subculture.
I know who you are.
I meant what's wrong with you?
Lungs.
I've been wanting to meet you, actually.
I saw you on Bill Curtis.
- Warren Feldman.
- John Sacrimoni.
Good to know you.
- I take it you done chemo?
- Twice.
- Mind if I take a look at your chart?
- What about Gunga Din?
Gupte? Fuck him.
You're seeing Rosen.
They let me fly to Cleveland,
my expense. You know him?
I saw him speak once
at an ASCO conference in Georgia.
- Good man.
- But?
Actually, very few people know this,
but he really can't walk on water.
- What was his prognosis?
- Three months.
- With the treatment you've had?
- What do you mean?
You got a window of one to three years.
What about the metastases?
Two rounds of Paraplatin, Docetaxel
and Platinol concurrent with radiation?
Any cancer inside you
has slowed to a crawl.
Why is he so fucking negative?
We tell the patient three months.
He lives a year. Who looks like a hero?
I'll see you around, John.
You take it easy. Hang in there.
Fuck me.
Tony, morning.
You got a sec?
As I told you, my partner and I are
with the Joint Terror Task Force now.
You're around Port Newark often enough.
We're concerned about
what might come in from the Middle East.
Yeah, and...
Let's talk terror funding.
Most of it comes about
through illegal enterprise.
Our pitch is this. It's the same
we gave Christopher Moltisanti.
Maybe he never mentioned it.
If you or any of your people
heard of anything going down,
Middle Easterners, Pakistanis,
you'd be helping us a lot
if you let us know.
I think there's a word for that.
Your daughter takes
pre-med classes in New York.
She use the tunnels?
Just something to keep in mind.
That's the last time
I'm going down for the paper.
Tell that fucking Polack
to get here earlier
and bring up the paper with her
or she can go clean
somebody else's toilets.
What happened?
It's too dangerous.
Has been for years.
May I have your attention, please?
Welcome to the premiere of Cleaver,
the story of a young man
who goes to pieces
then manages to find himself again.
In all seriousness, however,
I'd like to say a few words.
Much like a child,
a film has many parents,
that is to say many individuals
who act like parents,
or that by a version,
the film is their baby.
I, as an executive producer,
am one of those individuals.
Two more examples
are here with me tonight.
Ladies and gentlemen,
my co-EP Christopher Moltisanti
and our director Morgan Yam.
Yeah, hey!
You're all psyched to see the movie
so I'm not gonna give a big speech here.
I just wanna give a shout out
to the man who, without him,
this whole thing would be impossible.
Where is he?
Anthony Soprano, everybody.
- Hey!
- All right, Tone!
Once he came on board,
the whole thing fell together.
And all the other investors too.
Plus my wife Kelli and our new baby.
I love you guys.
OK, then. Cellphones off
and hope you like the movie.
You don't know what?
He's a fucking rat!
- We can't prove it.
- You're gonna argue with me?
No, it's just, I mean,
he's practically like your own son.
I'm sorry, Sally.
I think we oughta give him a pass.
I didn 't ask you what you fucking think.
Motherfucking son of a...
- That's you.
- No.
It is.
You find where this pezzanovante is
and you bring him to the butcher's shop.
They're gonna find pieces
of this kid all over fucking Canarsie.
- Y eah.
- I'm sure he's fine, sweetie.
- You gotta relax.
- But for Michael to have not called...
The wedding 's in two days.
Who, the Guatemalan?
What time is he gonna be there?
I hate to say this,
but he ain 't good enough for you.
I mean, he's a good kid.
What you need is a man.
Tell him to put it in the trunk.
You know how long
I've been waiting to do that?
That was neat at the end,
the creepy figurine and the crucifix.
I'm glad you caught that,
Alexandra. Very observant.
The sacred and the propane.
There's a ton of people
wearing T-shirts. I told you.
Is it so horrible you look nice?
I'm starving. I need to eat
something already.
I asked if you wanted popcorn.
- You want me to make you a plate?
- Yeah.
- What?
- What? I'll give you what.
Come here. The fucking boss
down in the cellar, white bathrobe,
where'd you get that?
I don't know. Artistic choice.
Seriously though, I'm very proud.
Whatever else happens,
you made a movie.
Nobody can take that away.
A hundred years from now, we're gone,
people will be watching this thing.
You know how much lmperia vodka
I scored just from this party alone?
I had a couple of cases
put down in your car too.
Look at this.
The family of early man.
Great, thank you.
Hey, Danny, come here.
Take a picture with us. Phil Leotardo.
Larry and I hung out at the set.
I don't know if you know this,
but the actors,
they don't make up what they say.
- Even De Niro, the girl told me.
- The script girl.
- Lorenzo Barese.
- How you doing?
- You getting enough to eat?
- Bryan Rawley, US Marshal's Service.
The terms of your bail
confine you to your home.
- Say hello to Danny?
- Yeah.
- Larry!
- Call the fucking lawyer!
- Larry!
- Excuse us, excuse us.
- Excuse us, excuse us.
- Leave him alone, you bastard!
Jesus Christ.
There's Danny's manager.
I better go talk to him.
There he is.
- So how was Florida?
- Hot and sticky, like my balls.
I spoke to Ginny. She's a wreck.
John's in the cancer ward. She's
down the road in some fucking motel.
Poor prick. Prison's not bad enough,
fucking lung cancer to boot.
Tell me about it -
quintuple bypass, then the infection,
seven months of physical therapy.
I'm just now starting
to get back to myself again.
Sausage, cioppino, anything spicy
put me back in the emergency room,
I'm not careful.
All in all, we're lucky fucks.
I tell myself that every day.
- How about you straighten that family out?
- Not for me, Anthony.
Obviously, healthwise,
being a boss is a young man's game.
Between the joint fitters
and the carpenters,
those envelopes are light
over 1 0% each week.
I feel it too.
Word on the street
is Gerry's the favourite to take over.
He's my prot?g?.
I don't stand in his way.
There's a ringing endorsement.
- Hey, Tony.
- Doc.
- You know Danny?
- How you doing?
Got a ticket on the turnpike.
Broken windshield wiper.
I said he should talk to you.
- I'll take care of it.
- No...
- Let's take a picture here.
- All right, chill out, Doc.
If you're Phil Leotardo,
you cannot be happy
with the state of affairs,
despite appearances.
We're joined now
from Bainbridge lsland, Washington,
by Jerry's fellow mob expert
Manny Safier,
the author of the new book
The Wise Guide To Wise Guys.
Welcome to the programme.
How goes the book tour?
Thank you, Geraldo. Excellent.
- Jerry, how are you?
- Manny.
We're discussing the apparent mob
power vacuum here in New York City.
Are you shocked that there's still
no successor to John Sacrimoni?
Not really.
I mean, the last ten, 1 2 years,
that's been a dysfunctional family.
And as Jerry said earlier,
there are several viable candidates.
Viable, I don 't know.
You had Phil Leotardo
as the logical successor.
You also have
Gerardo "Gerry" Torciano,
also Faustino "Doc" Santoro,
who I believe is the front runner.
I'm surprised you haven 't mentioned
Carmine Lupertazzi, Jr.
I was about to before you interrupted.
In fact, if you take a look
at my book in Chapter 1 4...
This Santoro thing,
I called it a year ago.
Hey.
Thank you for coming, Anthony.
- I know it's a long trip.
- And miss a chance to see Missouri?
So how's Ginny today?
She went to buy some stuff
for the kitchenette.
Good. Clear her mind.
Reason I asked you here today,
she's a bright kid, your sister.
But business...
My life insurance, I want to put her
on a monthly stipend.
- Probably a good idea.
- Not all the doctors agree.
But if I do only have a few months,
I wanna take care of all this now.
Wait a second.
Which doctor doesn't agree?
Feldman, the guy I told you about.
- The wife-murderer?
- He's still a doctor.
He was a highly respected oncologist.
I know, but, John...
He reviewed my case.
He says I could hang on for years.
You're right.
He still has the knowledge.
OJ's no less of a running back, right?
Let me ask you something, Anthony.
How will I be remembered?
A wonderful husband. A loving father.
- On the street, though, I mean.
- From what I know, you were well-liked.
Respected across the board,
despite the allocution.
God knows,
guys have actually named names
for a lot less
than what you were looking at.
The only nega...
What?
When Carmine died and you took over,
people felt you changed,
became a little trigger-happy, maybe,
a hothead.
God forbid any of them
would find themselves in that position.
It's a thankless job.
- What are you, hung over?
- What? I had two glasses of wine.
Why are you so pissy?
- Portrayal of that guy in the movie.
- What guy?
- The boss, Tony.
- What about him?
It was based on you.
- I know, you said. The yelling.
- It wasn't just the yelling.
Imitation's a form of flattery.
- You think that was flattering?
- It was OK.
- He's a tough prick, that Baldwin.
- What about the girlfriend?
- What girlfriend?
- The cleaver guy.
The lead character.
His entire motive for revenge.
I don't know. You lost me, Carm.
Sally Boy, the boss,
he fucked the guy's fianc?e.
The thing with Adriana?
- I told you it never fucking happened.
- Apparently your nephew feels otherwise.
Ro pointed it out to me.
If she saw it, other people did.
It's a movie. It's fictional.
It's a revenge fantasy, Tony,
which ends with the boss's head
split open by a meat cleaver.
There he is.
Good time last night?
Yeah, it was all right.
How about you?
Gab had fucking nightmares.
- Club soda, hon.
- Sure.
So what did you think of the movie?
Chrissy's the last person
I would have confused with Marty,
but I gotta say, it wasn't bad.
- Is he around?
- Chrissy? Nah.
He don't come around here no more.
That Baldwin was pretty good, huh?
He was a mean fuck. I'll give him that.
And that girl that played
the fianc?e, she was hot,
the one he was fucking.
It's weird how it works,
the creative process.
I'm watching Edward Scissorhands
when boom, all of a sudden, it hits me.
What if instead of a pair of scissors,
it's a meat cleaver instead?
A couple years later, you got a movie.
Originally I thought a ball-peen hammer,
but a cleaver's better.
It's like I'm living somebody else's life.
You're not comfortable with success yet.
I know. It's scary.
Feel the fear and do it anyway.
Without chemicals, either.
So, Kelli, the baby.
Good, fucking great.
She's a doll. She cries a lot, though.
The baby, not Kelli.
I hope you're taking the time
to reflect on all this.
- Savour the good stuff.
- Yeah... No, I am.
There's my other sober buddy.
- Is that an FBl guy?
- Your tax dollars at work.
Does he follow you around all the time?
They drop in and out. It's fun.
Look, seriously, think where you were
just three months ago.
At that meeting you were
so fucked up you could barely talk.
- That woman friend was even worse.
- I've been trying to do what you said.
Hold back a little,
steer clear of old habits, same people.
Must be hard, though,
given your lifestyle.
They misinterpret
I don't wanna hang around so much.
Fucking Paulie especially.
Have you explained
how hard it is to be around alcohol?
- How familiar surroundings set it off?
- They don't give a fuck.
"But he's fucking my wife, Carmine.
I want him dead," Jimmy says.
"He will be," he said, "but not just right now.
"He earns too much."
Eight years later,
Jimmy gets a call one day.
"Remember that guy we were talking about
who's fucking your wife? He can go."
The guy wasn't making him money
no more.
And that was Carmine Lupertazzi.
- Holy fucking shit.
- Yeah.
There you are. We went...
John, what the hell are you doing?
- What?
- You're smoking.
- So?
- Daddy, you're on oxygen.
Warren, pardon me, I'm sorry.
- Just calm down, all right?
- Calm down? I don't believe you.
What have I got to lose, Gin?
What's the difference?
You said Dr Feldman
doesn't agree with the others.
- Yeah, well.
- Miracles do happen, John.
Not to this family.
It's that kind of attitude
that probably brought this on.
You're gonna start with that again?
What about all these
six-year-olds with leukaemia?
What's that from,
their negative thinking?
All due respect, he's a great guy, Doc,
but boss material?
Important thing is we all work together,
whoever winds up in the driver's seat.
Phil, though, I'll never get it.
The man was my mentor.
It was there for the taking.
His heart, Gerry.
What was he gonna do?
That's my point, what you just said.
Johnny goes away.
It's Phil's turn in the driver's seat
and his heart gives out.
- Right.
- His heart.
I know. What?
It's a metaphor.
He lost his balls is what I'm saying.
Just say it, then.
Walt fucking Whitman over here.
- Ladies.
- Hey.
- How you doing?
- Shall we get some more wine?
Is this fucking waiter on sabbatical?
What's the name of that Sangiovese we
had at Quattro Gatti? The night your...
Come on.
Let's go.
Yeah, give me five dimes apiece
on St Louis,
Minnesota and Baltimore.
I would have invited you to play,
but we already had our fourth.
- You're not happy.
- Let's order.
What can I get you?
Seared ahi, mixed greens
and an iced tea, please.
Philly cheesesteak.
Give me an Arnold Palmer
instead of the iced tea.
I enjoy those,
but it never occurs to me to order one.
What the fuck, Carmine?
This family of yours.
Fucking senile Doc Santoro
uses one of my guys as a diversion?
- Sil could have got hurt.
- Doc showed a lack of respect.
This fucking leadership, boy.
Step up, Carmine.
Get your hands around this thing.
You know you got the support.
You never thought
you'd mutter those words.
What do you want me to say?
I hear you, Tony, and I'm flattered.
But boss, I don't think so,
especially now that Doc
has cemented his position.
Phil was bad enough in the top spot,
but him I could have lived with.
Here you go.
There was a time
I was obsessed with being in charge.
- You remember.
- So do it.
One night around then I had this dream.
It's my pop's 100th birthday,
even though he was dead.
The whole family's there.
He's wearing one of these
gold paper crowns, like at Burger King.
Anyway, I give him his present,
this mellifluous box, ribbons.
He opens it up then looks at me.
This gaze of absolute disappointment.
There's nothing in the box.
So he hands it back to me.
"Go fill it up," he says.
"Come back when I'm 200."
So go for it, Carmine.
Fulfil that part of yourself.
We have this ritual
at my house for years.
Our kids are in boarding school.
Every night I come home from work,
I strip down, jump naked in the pool.
Nicole brings me a Scotch and water.
We sit, relax a little, talk.
I go up to bed, the air conditioning.
She brings me a light dinner on a tray.
One night during
all that fighting with John,
I come home, I'm exhausted.
So tired, so tense, I skip the pool.
I go right upstairs, flop on the bed.
Nicole comes up with a drink.
She says, "Darling,
I think it's time you took a rest."
- I say, "I'm gonna. We'll take a vacation."
- She says, "That's not what I meant.
"l don't wanna be the wealthiest widow
on Long lsland.
"l want you to quit now."
I'm not ashamed to say that she made me cry.
That wonderful loving woman.
That dream with my father,
the empty box...
It wasn't about being boss.
It was about being happy.
Warren, hi.
Hi, hon. How's he doing?
Listen, I've been meaning
to talk to you about the smoking.
John shared with me
how upset you were.
Psychologically,
when a person's told they're dying,
it's the ultimate loss of control.
- To hear him wheeze like that.
- I know. It doesn't make any sense.
I do know he's a leader.
I suspect his smoking on some level
is an attempt to die as he lived,
in total control.
Years ago I asked him
to stop for me and the kids.
I lost 27 lbs.
He couldn't quit smoking?
I gotta go.
Goodbye, Caitlin.
I'll see you soon, muffin.
Oh, my God.
I love these little hands.
Thanks so much for watching her.
You'd think we're planning
a coronation, not a christening.
- We all set?
- You know what? I'd better pee.
Goody, I get to keep holding you.
So how you doing? Tony said
you got an offer on a house you built.
Two, actually, yes.
Ivana Trump.
I gotta be honest.
I am very disappointed at what you did.
- What are you talking about?
- Your movie.
The boss sleeping
with the other guy's fianc?e?
- What?
- Like it wasn't based on Tony and Ade.
What? No.
Carmela, I didn't even write it.
"Story by Christopher Moltisanti."
lsn't that what it said on the screen?
That's just
for the Writers Guild health insurance.
- Oh, really?
- Come on, you can't be serious.
She's an Oriental, for Christ's sake.
- Have you heard from Ade lately?
- No. Why would I hear from her?
Would it be so surprising?
- She left me for some other guy.
- Is it any wonder?
Her poor mother is so upset,
she's practically delusional.
She's convinced herself that Ade is dead.
- Her mother's an alkie. You know that.
- Regardless, Christopher.
You're my cousin and I love you, Carmela,
but I don't like what you're inferring,
either with the movie
or with how I treated Adriana.
Kelli comes out,
tell her I went to smoke.
There's my pal. How you doing?
Billy Bathgate.
They had it in the library.
I thought of you.
I don't know if you heard,
but Gerry Torciano,
he was hit last week in Brooklyn.
- Who?
- Gerry Torciano.
It was all over the news.
They whacked him in some restaurant.
- Did you know him?
- Yeah.
I don't know. Good guy.
It's hard to breathe.
I'll talk to Gupte,
see if I can get him
to up the Beclovent.
I'm dying, aren't l?
It's not good. I won't lie to you.
The aggressiveness surprises me.
I gotta concur with Rosen.
I appreciate everything you've done,
Warren.
- Who is it?
- You don't answer your phone?
I shut the ringer.
It's the middle of the night.
Honey, what's wrong?
Nothing, sweetie, it's fine.
Go back to sleep.
It ain't fine. We got a problem.
That sequence with Sally Boy
banging the fianc?e,
you gotta tell Tony that was your idea.
- It wasn't my idea.
- What, are you fucking stupid?
He probably thinks
I put it in to embarrass him.
- Why did you put it in there?
- It was an idea.
I don't know.
Who knows where they come from?
Newton invented gravity
cos some asshole hit him with an apple.
It's bad enough that
I don't get credit for my ideas.
I must take responsibility for some shit
that's gonna get me in trouble?
Fuck that, man.
Humanitis Award. What's that?
Humanitas. From the Paulist Brothers.
For writing socially redeeming...
Look out the window. You see
a fucking Hollywood sign out there?
Maybe you talk to your agent like that,
but don't ever get snippy on me again.
The scary thing was I didn't know what
happened till after the shot was fired.
Fucking weird.
- Tony, hey. Gentlemen.
- Hey, how are you?
TJ Hooker.
JT, actually, but I'm looking for Chris.
- I'm supposed to meet him.
- What, here?
The thing is he left me a message
but this fucking Verizon...
- Mind if I wait?
- Yeah, sit down.
- Diet Coke, please.
- You got it.
- So what did you think of Cleaver?
- It's good, you know.
Congratulations.
I hope we're gonna see
some money soon.
Yeah.
As a writer, you can never tell.
You come up with an idea. You don't know
how the audience will respond.
I mean, just cos I like something
I think of doesn't mean anyone else will.
That's the challenge.
It is challenging sometimes,
inventing characters, how they interact.
The boss Sally Boy
for example, his whole persona,
I stole that from Broderick Crawford
in Born Yesterday.
- What's that?
- Garson Kanin, 1 950. It's terrific.
William Holden falls in love with
Crawford's girlfriend, played by Judy Holliday.
- The black girl, the singer.
- No, that's Billie Holiday.
Although Judy's character in the movie
is named Billie too,
so I see why you're confused.
I've never seen it.
Why would I be confused?
Anyway, the Sally Boy character
is based on Crawford,
sort of a big, burly guy.
The love triangle, the cuckolding
of Michael, sleeping with the fianc?e,
very similar
to the Holden-Holliday dynamic.
- So the whole thing was your idea.
- With apologies to Garson Kanin.
- What happened to your head?
- What?
Oh. Cabinet. Duh.
If I see Chrissy,
I'll tell him you were looking for him.
Listen to me, you two heels.
I mean business.
I got too much at stake.
You got something that belongs to me.
If you wanna get out of here alive,
give it back.
Now, I'm no blowhard. Tell him.
He's no blowhard.
He's had people killed before.
- About six years ago there was this...
- Shut up!
You ain 't gonna be telling
nobody nothing pretty soon.
This is the image of me
he leaves to the world.
I remember when he was born,
I would hold him in my arms.
He was an adorable kid, too.
Big eyes.
You always talk about him
more like a son.
In some ways he was,
especially after his dad died.
He was little.
I used to give him rides.
I'd put him in the basket of
the butcher bike and pedal him around,
back when Satriale's made deliveries.
I reminded him of that recently.
- He didn't remember.
- But you do.
We had fun.
All those memories, and for what?
All I am to him is some asshole bully.
You're hurt.
His dad Dickie was like my me to him.
A mentor.
Yeah, but more than that.
A friend,
a fucking guy you could look up to.
And the hope is
that you pass that shit down,
the respect and the love.
All I did for this fucking kid
and he fucking hates me so much.
I'm sure on some level he loves you too.
Yeah? Take that home.
Judge for yourself.
- Last five minutes should answer that.
- I'm not going to do that.
- Not a horror fan?
- It's what you think that matters.
I think he fucking despises me.
It's pretty obvious.
Wants to see me dead.
Without invalidating your feelings,
is it possible that on some level
you're reading into all this?
I've been coming here for years.
I know too much
about the subconscious now.
Look, sweetie,
they're nice and clean
like you like them.
Mommy, he can't really hear you.
They're right here by the bed.
- My...
- What, baby, your what?
Want more morphine, Daddy?
- Mo... mother.
- Grandma? What, Daddy?
- Is he hallucinating?
- I don't know. He could be.
Sometimes they see
people who've passed.
John, look at me, baby.
You want a cigarette, baby? John?
You can't do that
when you're on my fucking team?
Hey, Tone, Anthony lnfante to see you.
Send him in.
There he is. X-ray specs.
- How's John?
- That's why I'm here, Tony.
John passed away late this morning.
- Fuck. You're kidding me.
- I only wish.
He was a great guy, John.
Sorry for your loss.
Thanks. Honestly, though,
it was for the best.
What are you gonna do?
I beat cancer, but it took him out.
Ride the painted pony
at the spin-a-wheel glide. Huh?
John Sacrimoni.
We're here to celebrate
what would have been my brother's,
your uncle's, 47th birthday.
Blow it out for him.
Right here at this bar, this seat
was Uncle Billy's favourite place
in the world.
- More than Shea Stadium?
- More than Shea Stadium.
He'd sit with his friends
and tell stories about his family,
who he loved more than anything
and was so very proud of.
From now on, his ashes will be right here
so when his friends come to visit,
he can see them.
- Can he see us now?
- Yeah.
- Who knows who is Leonardo da Vinci?
- I do.
- Matty.
- Yeah, he wrote The Da Vinci Code.
Another man wrote that,
but it's a hideous, sacrilegious book.
- Annabella.
- He was a painter, of the Mona Lisa.
Very good. He was not only a painter,
he did medical drawings and designed a tank.
Leonardo was a great ltalian and
that was our name originally, Leonardo.
But many years ago, when my grandpa
came over from Sicily,
they changed it at Ellis lsland
to Leotardo.
What did they do that for?
Because they're stupid,
that's why, and jealous.
They disrespected
a proud ltalian heritage
and named us after a ballet costume.
- Marissa.
- That's for modern.
- In ballet, you wear tutus.
- It doesn't make a difference.
- That's right, it doesn't.
- Can we have cake now?
How you doing, Phil? You OK?
47. He was a fucking kid.
Me, I'm an old man.
I'd like to do it over, boy.
Let me tell you.
- I fucking compromised everything.
- Nah. What are you talking about?
20 years inside, not a fucking peep.
For what? To protect the likes
of Rusty fucking Millio, Doc Santoro?
You were a man, Phil.
That's saying a lot nowadays.
That cocksucking piece of shit,
Tony Soprano's cousin,
I can't even say his name,
murdered Billy.
And what did I do about it?
My weakness.
Sometimes I think it's in my DNA.
My family took shit from the Medigans
the minute we got off the boat.
Come on, what the fuck
you talking about?
Leotardo. That's my fucking legacy.
No more, Butchie.
No more of this.
Welcome to the chop shop, cugine.
You can't kill me twice, Sally Boy.
I'm already fucking dead, remember?
I'm the boss, Michael.
What you had belongs to me.
Even the girl I loved?
What's mine is mine.
What's yours is mine.
Well, this is mine too, Sally.
Now you can have it.
Fuck Ben Kingsley.
Danny Baldwin took him
to fucking acting school.
Very well directed, Morgan.
I think there's potentially
more money in this than in the porn.
So what do we think?
We need the extra scene?
I like it the way it is.
I don't know, Chrissy,
these audiences today love blood.
I tend to agree with Carlo.
I'm thinking one more sexy kill.
When Michael follows Centrella
to the strip club,
what if he chops up
one of the women?
Who, as fate would have it,
was at one time Sally Boy's mistress.
Two extra shoot days, at a minimum.
If it buys us a theatrical release...
I'm gonna have to get
more money from Tony.
I want this fucking thing out there.
- Yeah, T, what's up?
- You talked to the air mattress guy?
I'm in editing.
We just saw the cut of Cleaver.
- And?
- Awesome as is.
The lawyer called.
We might have to change the title.
The Eldridge Cleaver estate
want an injunction.
If you wanna see some of it,
we're finishing the ADR after lunch.
- What's that again?
- Sound dubbing.
Call this dispatcher.
It's a holiday weekend.
Thousands of people
will be at the beach.
I'm on it.
- He coming down?
- Please.
He don't give two shits
about production.
It's a little boring, I gotta say.
I mean, that was surprising to me.
- Mr Sacrimoni, how are you today?
- lsn't that for you to tell me?
I wish I had better news.
Based on the latest pictures,
the cancer has continued
to metastasise from the lungs.
We show masses in the mediastinal lymph
nodes, both kidneys and the brain.
The headaches.
So the lobectomy, radiation,
the goddamn chemo, what was all that?
For kicks?
Those were our options at the time.
Now what are our options?
I wouldn't recommend any.
We're looking at stage four
small cell carcinoma of the lungs.
- There's no stage five.
- That's correct.
How long?
Difficult to say.
I have seen miracles over the years.
- Forget the miracles.
- Three months.
Give or take.
Thank you for your candour.
We have a plane back to Springfield.
How you doing, John?
It's funny. Ironic. Whichever.
I got here.
I quit smoking after 38 years,
exercised, ate right.
And for what?
Even still, it was the right move.
Here she is, my girl.
How are you, sweetie?
- Hey, Dad.
- Hi.
What did Rosen say?
- How's the hotel? You all settled in?
- It's fine.
How are you, angel? You look beautiful.
- I'm good. Eric sends his love.
- That's nice.
John, what about Rosen?
I don't know. I...
I don't know, sweetie.
- I'm very, very sick.
- Oh, my God.
All right, don't cry.
Don't cry. You don't have to make it
any harder than it is.
No physical contact, please.
- I love you, John.
- I love you too, sweetie.
- Daddy.
- I know. I know.
Ladies, no contact.
All right.
You come back,
you see me again tomorrow.
We have more time, huh?
Could I bum one of those?
It's casual, though, right?
It's a movie premiere.
We should dress accordingly.
It's a cast-and-crew screening.
It's in the city, Tony,
with an after-party at a bar
in the Meatpacking district.
That place is very chic now.
Meat packers?
I'm a happily married man.
I'm telling you it's not dress-up.
Speaking of dress-up, Christopher said
Kelli is having her wedding dress
made into an outfit
- for the baby to be christened in.
- Sweet.
You all right?
Are you taking a date to the screening?
- If I can meet a normal guy, maybe.
- I heard that.
- What, Finn wasn't normal?
- I don't intend to discuss Finn.
What about that guy
in your MCAT review?
Please, he's completely
fixated on his O-chem final.
He wants to be a doctor.
Tell him it's educational.
There's body parts all over this movie.
Screw the movie.
I just wanna hang with celebs.
You think you're gonna
get to sleep with Paris Hilton?
What? No.
Stop fidgeting and eat your noodles.
- I don't want them.
- Where are you going?
The bathroom. Jesus.
- You two have a fight?
- I don't know.
Keep an eye on his temp.
We'll finish out the week on the Ceftin.
You rest now.
I'll see you in the morning.
- He should be on Heparin.
- Excuse me.
Listen to him. Check his ABG.
I'm gonna have to ask you again
to not interfere, Warren.
I'm gonna change your sheets.
What are you,
the world's smartest orderly?
These days I am.
22 years a practising oncologist,
specialising in cancers of the liver.
Roll to your right, please.
Let me spare us the awkwardness.
I killed my wife.
Not that it's any justification,
I had reason to suspect
she was cheating on me
with her chiropractor.
Jesus.
Granted, I was abusing cocaine
at the time, and alcohol.
But I came home one day,
shot her four times. Twice in the head.
I killed her aunt too.
I didn't know she was there.
Roll over, please.
And the mailman.
At that point I had to fully commit.
Why are you here exactly?
I've been accused of being part of
a certain ltalian-American subculture.
I know who you are.
I meant what's wrong with you?
Lungs.
I've been wanting to meet you, actually.
I saw you on Bill Curtis.
- Warren Feldman.
- John Sacrimoni.
Good to know you.
- I take it you done chemo?
- Twice.
- Mind if I take a look at your chart?
- What about Gunga Din?
Gupte? Fuck him.
You're seeing Rosen.
They let me fly to Cleveland,
my expense. You know him?
I saw him speak once
at an ASCO conference in Georgia.
- Good man.
- But?
Actually, very few people know this,
but he really can't walk on water.
- What was his prognosis?
- Three months.
- With the treatment you've had?
- What do you mean?
You got a window of one to three years.
What about the metastases?
Two rounds of Paraplatin, Docetaxel
and Platinol concurrent with radiation?
Any cancer inside you
has slowed to a crawl.
Why is he so fucking negative?
We tell the patient three months.
He lives a year. Who looks like a hero?
I'll see you around, John.
You take it easy. Hang in there.
Fuck me.
Tony, morning.
You got a sec?
As I told you, my partner and I are
with the Joint Terror Task Force now.
You're around Port Newark often enough.
We're concerned about
what might come in from the Middle East.
Yeah, and...
Let's talk terror funding.
Most of it comes about
through illegal enterprise.
Our pitch is this. It's the same
we gave Christopher Moltisanti.
Maybe he never mentioned it.
If you or any of your people
heard of anything going down,
Middle Easterners, Pakistanis,
you'd be helping us a lot
if you let us know.
I think there's a word for that.
Your daughter takes
pre-med classes in New York.
She use the tunnels?
Just something to keep in mind.
That's the last time
I'm going down for the paper.
Tell that fucking Polack
to get here earlier
and bring up the paper with her
or she can go clean
somebody else's toilets.
What happened?
It's too dangerous.
Has been for years.
May I have your attention, please?
Welcome to the premiere of Cleaver,
the story of a young man
who goes to pieces
then manages to find himself again.
In all seriousness, however,
I'd like to say a few words.
Much like a child,
a film has many parents,
that is to say many individuals
who act like parents,
or that by a version,
the film is their baby.
I, as an executive producer,
am one of those individuals.
Two more examples
are here with me tonight.
Ladies and gentlemen,
my co-EP Christopher Moltisanti
and our director Morgan Yam.
Yeah, hey!
You're all psyched to see the movie
so I'm not gonna give a big speech here.
I just wanna give a shout out
to the man who, without him,
this whole thing would be impossible.
Where is he?
Anthony Soprano, everybody.
- Hey!
- All right, Tone!
Once he came on board,
the whole thing fell together.
And all the other investors too.
Plus my wife Kelli and our new baby.
I love you guys.
OK, then. Cellphones off
and hope you like the movie.
You don't know what?
He's a fucking rat!
- We can't prove it.
- You're gonna argue with me?
No, it's just, I mean,
he's practically like your own son.
I'm sorry, Sally.
I think we oughta give him a pass.
I didn 't ask you what you fucking think.
Motherfucking son of a...
- That's you.
- No.
It is.
You find where this pezzanovante is
and you bring him to the butcher's shop.
They're gonna find pieces
of this kid all over fucking Canarsie.
- Y eah.
- I'm sure he's fine, sweetie.
- You gotta relax.
- But for Michael to have not called...
The wedding 's in two days.
Who, the Guatemalan?
What time is he gonna be there?
I hate to say this,
but he ain 't good enough for you.
I mean, he's a good kid.
What you need is a man.
Tell him to put it in the trunk.
You know how long
I've been waiting to do that?
That was neat at the end,
the creepy figurine and the crucifix.
I'm glad you caught that,
Alexandra. Very observant.
The sacred and the propane.
There's a ton of people
wearing T-shirts. I told you.
Is it so horrible you look nice?
I'm starving. I need to eat
something already.
I asked if you wanted popcorn.
- You want me to make you a plate?
- Yeah.
- What?
- What? I'll give you what.
Come here. The fucking boss
down in the cellar, white bathrobe,
where'd you get that?
I don't know. Artistic choice.
Seriously though, I'm very proud.
Whatever else happens,
you made a movie.
Nobody can take that away.
A hundred years from now, we're gone,
people will be watching this thing.
You know how much lmperia vodka
I scored just from this party alone?
I had a couple of cases
put down in your car too.
Look at this.
The family of early man.
Great, thank you.
Hey, Danny, come here.
Take a picture with us. Phil Leotardo.
Larry and I hung out at the set.
I don't know if you know this,
but the actors,
they don't make up what they say.
- Even De Niro, the girl told me.
- The script girl.
- Lorenzo Barese.
- How you doing?
- You getting enough to eat?
- Bryan Rawley, US Marshal's Service.
The terms of your bail
confine you to your home.
- Say hello to Danny?
- Yeah.
- Larry!
- Call the fucking lawyer!
- Larry!
- Excuse us, excuse us.
- Excuse us, excuse us.
- Leave him alone, you bastard!
Jesus Christ.
There's Danny's manager.
I better go talk to him.
There he is.
- So how was Florida?
- Hot and sticky, like my balls.
I spoke to Ginny. She's a wreck.
John's in the cancer ward. She's
down the road in some fucking motel.
Poor prick. Prison's not bad enough,
fucking lung cancer to boot.
Tell me about it -
quintuple bypass, then the infection,
seven months of physical therapy.
I'm just now starting
to get back to myself again.
Sausage, cioppino, anything spicy
put me back in the emergency room,
I'm not careful.
All in all, we're lucky fucks.
I tell myself that every day.
- How about you straighten that family out?
- Not for me, Anthony.
Obviously, healthwise,
being a boss is a young man's game.
Between the joint fitters
and the carpenters,
those envelopes are light
over 1 0% each week.
I feel it too.
Word on the street
is Gerry's the favourite to take over.
He's my prot?g?.
I don't stand in his way.
There's a ringing endorsement.
- Hey, Tony.
- Doc.
- You know Danny?
- How you doing?
Got a ticket on the turnpike.
Broken windshield wiper.
I said he should talk to you.
- I'll take care of it.
- No...
- Let's take a picture here.
- All right, chill out, Doc.
If you're Phil Leotardo,
you cannot be happy
with the state of affairs,
despite appearances.
We're joined now
from Bainbridge lsland, Washington,
by Jerry's fellow mob expert
Manny Safier,
the author of the new book
The Wise Guide To Wise Guys.
Welcome to the programme.
How goes the book tour?
Thank you, Geraldo. Excellent.
- Jerry, how are you?
- Manny.
We're discussing the apparent mob
power vacuum here in New York City.
Are you shocked that there's still
no successor to John Sacrimoni?
Not really.
I mean, the last ten, 1 2 years,
that's been a dysfunctional family.
And as Jerry said earlier,
there are several viable candidates.
Viable, I don 't know.
You had Phil Leotardo
as the logical successor.
You also have
Gerardo "Gerry" Torciano,
also Faustino "Doc" Santoro,
who I believe is the front runner.
I'm surprised you haven 't mentioned
Carmine Lupertazzi, Jr.
I was about to before you interrupted.
In fact, if you take a look
at my book in Chapter 1 4...
This Santoro thing,
I called it a year ago.
Hey.
Thank you for coming, Anthony.
- I know it's a long trip.
- And miss a chance to see Missouri?
So how's Ginny today?
She went to buy some stuff
for the kitchenette.
Good. Clear her mind.
Reason I asked you here today,
she's a bright kid, your sister.
But business...
My life insurance, I want to put her
on a monthly stipend.
- Probably a good idea.
- Not all the doctors agree.
But if I do only have a few months,
I wanna take care of all this now.
Wait a second.
Which doctor doesn't agree?
Feldman, the guy I told you about.
- The wife-murderer?
- He's still a doctor.
He was a highly respected oncologist.
I know, but, John...
He reviewed my case.
He says I could hang on for years.
You're right.
He still has the knowledge.
OJ's no less of a running back, right?
Let me ask you something, Anthony.
How will I be remembered?
A wonderful husband. A loving father.
- On the street, though, I mean.
- From what I know, you were well-liked.
Respected across the board,
despite the allocution.
God knows,
guys have actually named names
for a lot less
than what you were looking at.
The only nega...
What?
When Carmine died and you took over,
people felt you changed,
became a little trigger-happy, maybe,
a hothead.
God forbid any of them
would find themselves in that position.
It's a thankless job.
- What are you, hung over?
- What? I had two glasses of wine.
Why are you so pissy?
- Portrayal of that guy in the movie.
- What guy?
- The boss, Tony.
- What about him?
It was based on you.
- I know, you said. The yelling.
- It wasn't just the yelling.
Imitation's a form of flattery.
- You think that was flattering?
- It was OK.
- He's a tough prick, that Baldwin.
- What about the girlfriend?
- What girlfriend?
- The cleaver guy.
The lead character.
His entire motive for revenge.
I don't know. You lost me, Carm.
Sally Boy, the boss,
he fucked the guy's fianc?e.
The thing with Adriana?
- I told you it never fucking happened.
- Apparently your nephew feels otherwise.
Ro pointed it out to me.
If she saw it, other people did.
It's a movie. It's fictional.
It's a revenge fantasy, Tony,
which ends with the boss's head
split open by a meat cleaver.
There he is.
Good time last night?
Yeah, it was all right.
How about you?
Gab had fucking nightmares.
- Club soda, hon.
- Sure.
So what did you think of the movie?
Chrissy's the last person
I would have confused with Marty,
but I gotta say, it wasn't bad.
- Is he around?
- Chrissy? Nah.
He don't come around here no more.
That Baldwin was pretty good, huh?
He was a mean fuck. I'll give him that.
And that girl that played
the fianc?e, she was hot,
the one he was fucking.
It's weird how it works,
the creative process.
I'm watching Edward Scissorhands
when boom, all of a sudden, it hits me.
What if instead of a pair of scissors,
it's a meat cleaver instead?
A couple years later, you got a movie.
Originally I thought a ball-peen hammer,
but a cleaver's better.
It's like I'm living somebody else's life.
You're not comfortable with success yet.
I know. It's scary.
Feel the fear and do it anyway.
Without chemicals, either.
So, Kelli, the baby.
Good, fucking great.
She's a doll. She cries a lot, though.
The baby, not Kelli.
I hope you're taking the time
to reflect on all this.
- Savour the good stuff.
- Yeah... No, I am.
There's my other sober buddy.
- Is that an FBl guy?
- Your tax dollars at work.
Does he follow you around all the time?
They drop in and out. It's fun.
Look, seriously, think where you were
just three months ago.
At that meeting you were
so fucked up you could barely talk.
- That woman friend was even worse.
- I've been trying to do what you said.
Hold back a little,
steer clear of old habits, same people.
Must be hard, though,
given your lifestyle.
They misinterpret
I don't wanna hang around so much.
Fucking Paulie especially.
Have you explained
how hard it is to be around alcohol?
- How familiar surroundings set it off?
- They don't give a fuck.
"But he's fucking my wife, Carmine.
I want him dead," Jimmy says.
"He will be," he said, "but not just right now.
"He earns too much."
Eight years later,
Jimmy gets a call one day.
"Remember that guy we were talking about
who's fucking your wife? He can go."
The guy wasn't making him money
no more.
And that was Carmine Lupertazzi.
- Holy fucking shit.
- Yeah.
There you are. We went...
John, what the hell are you doing?
- What?
- You're smoking.
- So?
- Daddy, you're on oxygen.
Warren, pardon me, I'm sorry.
- Just calm down, all right?
- Calm down? I don't believe you.
What have I got to lose, Gin?
What's the difference?
You said Dr Feldman
doesn't agree with the others.
- Yeah, well.
- Miracles do happen, John.
Not to this family.
It's that kind of attitude
that probably brought this on.
You're gonna start with that again?
What about all these
six-year-olds with leukaemia?
What's that from,
their negative thinking?
All due respect, he's a great guy, Doc,
but boss material?
Important thing is we all work together,
whoever winds up in the driver's seat.
Phil, though, I'll never get it.
The man was my mentor.
It was there for the taking.
His heart, Gerry.
What was he gonna do?
That's my point, what you just said.
Johnny goes away.
It's Phil's turn in the driver's seat
and his heart gives out.
- Right.
- His heart.
I know. What?
It's a metaphor.
He lost his balls is what I'm saying.
Just say it, then.
Walt fucking Whitman over here.
- Ladies.
- Hey.
- How you doing?
- Shall we get some more wine?
Is this fucking waiter on sabbatical?
What's the name of that Sangiovese we
had at Quattro Gatti? The night your...
Come on.
Let's go.
Yeah, give me five dimes apiece
on St Louis,
Minnesota and Baltimore.
I would have invited you to play,
but we already had our fourth.
- You're not happy.
- Let's order.
What can I get you?
Seared ahi, mixed greens
and an iced tea, please.
Philly cheesesteak.
Give me an Arnold Palmer
instead of the iced tea.
I enjoy those,
but it never occurs to me to order one.
What the fuck, Carmine?
This family of yours.
Fucking senile Doc Santoro
uses one of my guys as a diversion?
- Sil could have got hurt.
- Doc showed a lack of respect.
This fucking leadership, boy.
Step up, Carmine.
Get your hands around this thing.
You know you got the support.
You never thought
you'd mutter those words.
What do you want me to say?
I hear you, Tony, and I'm flattered.
But boss, I don't think so,
especially now that Doc
has cemented his position.
Phil was bad enough in the top spot,
but him I could have lived with.
Here you go.
There was a time
I was obsessed with being in charge.
- You remember.
- So do it.
One night around then I had this dream.
It's my pop's 100th birthday,
even though he was dead.
The whole family's there.
He's wearing one of these
gold paper crowns, like at Burger King.
Anyway, I give him his present,
this mellifluous box, ribbons.
He opens it up then looks at me.
This gaze of absolute disappointment.
There's nothing in the box.
So he hands it back to me.
"Go fill it up," he says.
"Come back when I'm 200."
So go for it, Carmine.
Fulfil that part of yourself.
We have this ritual
at my house for years.
Our kids are in boarding school.
Every night I come home from work,
I strip down, jump naked in the pool.
Nicole brings me a Scotch and water.
We sit, relax a little, talk.
I go up to bed, the air conditioning.
She brings me a light dinner on a tray.
One night during
all that fighting with John,
I come home, I'm exhausted.
So tired, so tense, I skip the pool.
I go right upstairs, flop on the bed.
Nicole comes up with a drink.
She says, "Darling,
I think it's time you took a rest."
- I say, "I'm gonna. We'll take a vacation."
- She says, "That's not what I meant.
"l don't wanna be the wealthiest widow
on Long lsland.
"l want you to quit now."
I'm not ashamed to say that she made me cry.
That wonderful loving woman.
That dream with my father,
the empty box...
It wasn't about being boss.
It was about being happy.
Warren, hi.
Hi, hon. How's he doing?
Listen, I've been meaning
to talk to you about the smoking.
John shared with me
how upset you were.
Psychologically,
when a person's told they're dying,
it's the ultimate loss of control.
- To hear him wheeze like that.
- I know. It doesn't make any sense.
I do know he's a leader.
I suspect his smoking on some level
is an attempt to die as he lived,
in total control.
Years ago I asked him
to stop for me and the kids.
I lost 27 lbs.
He couldn't quit smoking?
I gotta go.
Goodbye, Caitlin.
I'll see you soon, muffin.
Oh, my God.
I love these little hands.
Thanks so much for watching her.
You'd think we're planning
a coronation, not a christening.
- We all set?
- You know what? I'd better pee.
Goody, I get to keep holding you.
So how you doing? Tony said
you got an offer on a house you built.
Two, actually, yes.
Ivana Trump.
I gotta be honest.
I am very disappointed at what you did.
- What are you talking about?
- Your movie.
The boss sleeping
with the other guy's fianc?e?
- What?
- Like it wasn't based on Tony and Ade.
What? No.
Carmela, I didn't even write it.
"Story by Christopher Moltisanti."
lsn't that what it said on the screen?
That's just
for the Writers Guild health insurance.
- Oh, really?
- Come on, you can't be serious.
She's an Oriental, for Christ's sake.
- Have you heard from Ade lately?
- No. Why would I hear from her?
Would it be so surprising?
- She left me for some other guy.
- Is it any wonder?
Her poor mother is so upset,
she's practically delusional.
She's convinced herself that Ade is dead.
- Her mother's an alkie. You know that.
- Regardless, Christopher.
You're my cousin and I love you, Carmela,
but I don't like what you're inferring,
either with the movie
or with how I treated Adriana.
Kelli comes out,
tell her I went to smoke.
There's my pal. How you doing?
Billy Bathgate.
They had it in the library.
I thought of you.
I don't know if you heard,
but Gerry Torciano,
he was hit last week in Brooklyn.
- Who?
- Gerry Torciano.
It was all over the news.
They whacked him in some restaurant.
- Did you know him?
- Yeah.
I don't know. Good guy.
It's hard to breathe.
I'll talk to Gupte,
see if I can get him
to up the Beclovent.
I'm dying, aren't l?
It's not good. I won't lie to you.
The aggressiveness surprises me.
I gotta concur with Rosen.
I appreciate everything you've done,
Warren.
- Who is it?
- You don't answer your phone?
I shut the ringer.
It's the middle of the night.
Honey, what's wrong?
Nothing, sweetie, it's fine.
Go back to sleep.
It ain't fine. We got a problem.
That sequence with Sally Boy
banging the fianc?e,
you gotta tell Tony that was your idea.
- It wasn't my idea.
- What, are you fucking stupid?
He probably thinks
I put it in to embarrass him.
- Why did you put it in there?
- It was an idea.
I don't know.
Who knows where they come from?
Newton invented gravity
cos some asshole hit him with an apple.
It's bad enough that
I don't get credit for my ideas.
I must take responsibility for some shit
that's gonna get me in trouble?
Fuck that, man.
Humanitis Award. What's that?
Humanitas. From the Paulist Brothers.
For writing socially redeeming...
Look out the window. You see
a fucking Hollywood sign out there?
Maybe you talk to your agent like that,
but don't ever get snippy on me again.
The scary thing was I didn't know what
happened till after the shot was fired.
Fucking weird.
- Tony, hey. Gentlemen.
- Hey, how are you?
TJ Hooker.
JT, actually, but I'm looking for Chris.
- I'm supposed to meet him.
- What, here?
The thing is he left me a message
but this fucking Verizon...
- Mind if I wait?
- Yeah, sit down.
- Diet Coke, please.
- You got it.
- So what did you think of Cleaver?
- It's good, you know.
Congratulations.
I hope we're gonna see
some money soon.
Yeah.
As a writer, you can never tell.
You come up with an idea. You don't know
how the audience will respond.
I mean, just cos I like something
I think of doesn't mean anyone else will.
That's the challenge.
It is challenging sometimes,
inventing characters, how they interact.
The boss Sally Boy
for example, his whole persona,
I stole that from Broderick Crawford
in Born Yesterday.
- What's that?
- Garson Kanin, 1 950. It's terrific.
William Holden falls in love with
Crawford's girlfriend, played by Judy Holliday.
- The black girl, the singer.
- No, that's Billie Holiday.
Although Judy's character in the movie
is named Billie too,
so I see why you're confused.
I've never seen it.
Why would I be confused?
Anyway, the Sally Boy character
is based on Crawford,
sort of a big, burly guy.
The love triangle, the cuckolding
of Michael, sleeping with the fianc?e,
very similar
to the Holden-Holliday dynamic.
- So the whole thing was your idea.
- With apologies to Garson Kanin.
- What happened to your head?
- What?
Oh. Cabinet. Duh.
If I see Chrissy,
I'll tell him you were looking for him.
Listen to me, you two heels.
I mean business.
I got too much at stake.
You got something that belongs to me.
If you wanna get out of here alive,
give it back.
Now, I'm no blowhard. Tell him.
He's no blowhard.
He's had people killed before.
- About six years ago there was this...
- Shut up!
You ain 't gonna be telling
nobody nothing pretty soon.
This is the image of me
he leaves to the world.
I remember when he was born,
I would hold him in my arms.
He was an adorable kid, too.
Big eyes.
You always talk about him
more like a son.
In some ways he was,
especially after his dad died.
He was little.
I used to give him rides.
I'd put him in the basket of
the butcher bike and pedal him around,
back when Satriale's made deliveries.
I reminded him of that recently.
- He didn't remember.
- But you do.
We had fun.
All those memories, and for what?
All I am to him is some asshole bully.
You're hurt.
His dad Dickie was like my me to him.
A mentor.
Yeah, but more than that.
A friend,
a fucking guy you could look up to.
And the hope is
that you pass that shit down,
the respect and the love.
All I did for this fucking kid
and he fucking hates me so much.
I'm sure on some level he loves you too.
Yeah? Take that home.
Judge for yourself.
- Last five minutes should answer that.
- I'm not going to do that.
- Not a horror fan?
- It's what you think that matters.
I think he fucking despises me.
It's pretty obvious.
Wants to see me dead.
Without invalidating your feelings,
is it possible that on some level
you're reading into all this?
I've been coming here for years.
I know too much
about the subconscious now.
Look, sweetie,
they're nice and clean
like you like them.
Mommy, he can't really hear you.
They're right here by the bed.
- My...
- What, baby, your what?
Want more morphine, Daddy?
- Mo... mother.
- Grandma? What, Daddy?
- Is he hallucinating?
- I don't know. He could be.
Sometimes they see
people who've passed.
John, look at me, baby.
You want a cigarette, baby? John?
You can't do that
when you're on my fucking team?
Hey, Tone, Anthony lnfante to see you.
Send him in.
There he is. X-ray specs.
- How's John?
- That's why I'm here, Tony.
John passed away late this morning.
- Fuck. You're kidding me.
- I only wish.
He was a great guy, John.
Sorry for your loss.
Thanks. Honestly, though,
it was for the best.
What are you gonna do?
I beat cancer, but it took him out.
Ride the painted pony
at the spin-a-wheel glide. Huh?
John Sacrimoni.
We're here to celebrate
what would have been my brother's,
your uncle's, 47th birthday.
Blow it out for him.
Right here at this bar, this seat
was Uncle Billy's favourite place
in the world.
- More than Shea Stadium?
- More than Shea Stadium.
He'd sit with his friends
and tell stories about his family,
who he loved more than anything
and was so very proud of.
From now on, his ashes will be right here
so when his friends come to visit,
he can see them.
- Can he see us now?
- Yeah.
- Who knows who is Leonardo da Vinci?
- I do.
- Matty.
- Yeah, he wrote The Da Vinci Code.
Another man wrote that,
but it's a hideous, sacrilegious book.
- Annabella.
- He was a painter, of the Mona Lisa.
Very good. He was not only a painter,
he did medical drawings and designed a tank.
Leonardo was a great ltalian and
that was our name originally, Leonardo.
But many years ago, when my grandpa
came over from Sicily,
they changed it at Ellis lsland
to Leotardo.
What did they do that for?
Because they're stupid,
that's why, and jealous.
They disrespected
a proud ltalian heritage
and named us after a ballet costume.
- Marissa.
- That's for modern.
- In ballet, you wear tutus.
- It doesn't make a difference.
- That's right, it doesn't.
- Can we have cake now?
How you doing, Phil? You OK?
47. He was a fucking kid.
Me, I'm an old man.
I'd like to do it over, boy.
Let me tell you.
- I fucking compromised everything.
- Nah. What are you talking about?
20 years inside, not a fucking peep.
For what? To protect the likes
of Rusty fucking Millio, Doc Santoro?
You were a man, Phil.
That's saying a lot nowadays.
That cocksucking piece of shit,
Tony Soprano's cousin,
I can't even say his name,
murdered Billy.
And what did I do about it?
My weakness.
Sometimes I think it's in my DNA.
My family took shit from the Medigans
the minute we got off the boat.
Come on, what the fuck
you talking about?
Leotardo. That's my fucking legacy.
No more, Butchie.
No more of this.