The Sopranos (1999–2007): Season 5, Episode 9 - Unidentified Black Males - full transcript
Tony finds out that his cousin wants a bigger share of responsibilities, while Finn makes an embarrassing discovery about Vito.
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Into the bottom of the eighth.
A very tight game on a hot day.
- Oh, it sure is today, isn't it?
- It certainly is, Roger.
Mets tying it up
2-2 in the sixth.
Man on second.
Want another super nacho?
No, they been sitting too long.
The cheese is all sweaty.
This guy in the joint,
crazy Rasta fuck...
used to make grilled cheese
on the radiator.
He put the bread
between two sheets of paper.
Had a whole system.
- What did you do to your foot?
- The other night. Fucking Irvington.
- Two black guys jumped me outside a bar.
- With half of them locked up...
making grilled cheese, you'd think there
wouldn't be many around making trouble.
- Should I melt another batch?
- No, I'm good. I got dinner in the city.
So, Finn, you got any plans
for the summer?
Going back to Mission Viejo
to surf or whatever?
Actually, I'm hoping to stay here
in the city.
- How's summer school going?
- It sucks.
I did summer school once.
You can still have fun.
At Casa Carmela? He's looking at
maximum-security summer.
Excuse me a minute.
Why don't you cut your mother a break.
For the record...
she's holding this family together
under this current situation and all.
- Can we get the check, please?
- The young man took care of it.
- You paid the check?
- I figured since you're always so...
you know, generous,
I should reciprocate.
You're lucky you don't
get your head handed to you.
- Dad.
- Let's get this straight: You eat. I pay.
- Mr. Soprano...
- No, when you have your own family...
you pay.
Let's go.
Just take the money.
Listen, I didn't mean
to bite your head off in there.
No, it's fine. I didn't mean to overstep.
I just wanted to say thank you.
You're a good guy.
I respect you trying.
And then he fell asleep right after.
He did call me late the next morning.
And he sent flowers.
But other than that,
I haven't heard from him all week.
- What did he say?
- That it was nice, you know.
And it was nice.
He was very sweet, actually.
So you think
what happened at the party...
is an overture
Tony wants to get back together?
I don't know. Maybe.
He's dropping A.J. off later.
This is the last thing
I need to get into right now.
Oh, please, he never had it so good.
Well, that's him.
You two should talk. Let me just pee.
Okay.
So was your father in a rush now
or something?
I don't know. He said he was tired.
To give you this
and a kiss on the cheek.
Thank God. It's the last thing I needed
was to talk to him.
Know who loved golf?
It was Joey Peeps.
May he rest in peace.
It's sad when they go young like that.
When they go?
Come on, huh?
It was Little Carmine behind it.
Payback for that whore he was fucking,
Lorraine Calluzo.
You don't know that for sure, John.
Little Carmine knew
how fond I was of this kid, Tony.
I picked him out of the chorus.
Schooled him
those years he was my driver.
Anything from your cop?
Some homeless fuck
saw a guy limping away.
And then he wasn't sure.
I'll tell you, I don't know how
I'm gonna get through Joey's funeral.
And forget about Ginny.
Every Christmas, Joey would send her
a Grandma's of Maine coffeecake.
What's wrong? You all right?
- Is it his heart?
- No. It's this fucking weather.
Sudden changes.
Fucks up your respiratory system.
- Come on.
- Get some...
- I got you.
- Get some electrolytes in him.
- We got you.
- Come on, buddy.
- Come on.
- That's it. Sit down.
Good, good. That's it. That's it.
You're all right. You're all right.
The point I am trying
to illustrate...
is that of course no one wants
all-out conflict.
But historically, historical changes
have come out of war.
Far as I'm concerned, it's a new day. All
old treaties and ways of doing things...
are null and void.
Exactly.
And the Joe Peeps thing?
Where does that leave us?
When you've had
a quadruple bypass like I did...
it gives you a lot of time to think.
The only thing Johnny understands
is force.
But the fact is, though,
we pissed on a bees' nest.
So, what's the other option? Rollover?
We could've had a sit-down.
- The other captains, maybe.
- This isn't the U.N., Angelo.
I won't let what happened to my father
happen to me.
God forgive me, but you may be
a stronger man than your dad was.
The fundamental question is:
Will I be as effective as a boss
like my dad was?
And I will be. Even more so.
But until I am...
it's gonna be hard to verify that
I think I'll be more effective.
I just talked to my parents.
They offered me a JetBlue ticket home.
No economic relief.
What did the lady
at Student Placement say?
- I never went down there.
- Why didn't you?
This economy? Hello?
I mean, even the crappiest McJobs
aren't there.
Besides, I wouldn't wanna take away
a job a minority could have.
Just... It doesn't cool anything
anyway. Leave it.
Don't open the window.
The garbage reeks.
Why do we wanna be
in New York anyway?
It was supposed to be fun, remember?
Summer before the big grad school push.
You could go out to Jersey,
sleep in comfort.
- Is that what you want?
- No.
All I know is, I cannot go home
and live with my parents.
I graduated.
I mean, maybe I should go back out.
I can work as a PA for Josh's dad.
At least I'd earn some cash.
- You could come out for a week.
- Wait, wait. What?
He's a photographer, I told you.
He does major magazine ads. BMW.
It's pretty cool stuff.
- Is that what you want?
- No.
But at least I'd have money.
- Your thing with models.
- There's no models.
- What?
- It's interesting work.
As a career, actually. I mean...
Josh's dad saw my shots
that won the prize in high school...
said they were solidly unsentimental.
What are you talking about?
Just blow off dental school?
You haven't taken a photograph in a year.
You bitch every time we're at a party...
and I ask you to take a snap
of me and my friends.
- Look, I'm just saying.
- I gave up junior year abroad...
so we could be together.
I know, and I wanna stay here.
I could come out west with you.
- But I have to blow off the law center.
- Is that what you wanna do?
I don't know.
Do you want me to come out?
- If you want to.
- No, you need to say.
Maybe we should stay out there.
You could transfer to UCLA.
Fuck it.
It's roasting in here.
It's 10:30.
We can still get into a movie.
- What do you wanna see?
- I don't know. You say.
No, you.
- Hello?
- Mrs. Soprano.
- Lee Nieman, returning.
- Oh, hi, great. Thank you.
The reason I called...
I gave your secretary the broad strokes.
You're in the middle of a separation,
the original attorney retired.
Right. Bob Greenberg.
At any rate, I'm thinking it's time I move
forward with the divorce proceedings.
Mrs. Soprano, I'm afraid
I'm gonna have to cut you short.
As far as handling it,
I'm afraid I have to recuse myself.
What do you mean? Why?
Actually, your husband had been in
to see me for a consultation last year.
- My husband hired you?
- No.
But based on a prior meeting,
the code of professional responsibility...
precludes me from representing you
because of that consultation.
But he met with Greenberg too,
and he was willing to represent me.
Mr. Greenberg would've found himself in
some ethical soup had he moved forward.
I don't understand this.
Why is my husband so picky?
He talked to seven or eight of the
top divorce attorneys in New Jersey.
Well, you can probably
figure that maneuver out for yourself.
Jesus Christ.
I understand your frustration.
If you like, I can recommend a colleague.
Someone your husband
hasn't contaminated.
Well, yeah, okay.
According to Johnny Sack, kid's brains
were splattered all over the seat.
Joe Peeps?
Couldn't have been too much
to clean up.
I heard the hooker he was with
got it in the chest.
Must have been silicone
everywheres too.
Why you always try and top me?
You took the air right out of
my whole fucking punch line, asshole.
Anyway, Joey Peeps' mom's a widow.
She's in a wheelchair.
Johnny's taking care of the internment,
that shit there.
I'm thinking we should
pick up the headstone.
- Jason, get into it.
- I'll call the marble guy.
- What's up, guys?
- Frankie.
- Frankie.
- Talk to you outside?
Give me two.
What's up?
Turns out somebody got a look
at the guy that did Joe Peeps.
All they got so far
is he's got a bad limp.
AHH.
Long John Silver, maybe.
Where the fuck do you get the balls?
I am bending over backwards
trying to stay neutral.
Paying for fucking car seats.
And you're out there
acting like a fucking free-agent!
And don't look at me
like I'm a fucking jerk-off.
I'm sick of you leaning on this
cousin thing and that bad hijack...
like you can do
whatever the fuck it is you wanna do...
because you went away that night,
and I didn't.
You're the one who keeps
bringing that up. I'm fine with it.
First of all, for the record,
I had nothing to do with this.
- Don't fucking lie to me!
- Even if I was...
would you really wanna know?
That would just be another problem
for you with Johnny, right?
All right, look, I know
you're not earning what you expected...
and you got the twins and Nancy.
You're a capable guy.
Your mother let it slip one time:
You got an IQ of 158.
- She told you that?
- It was the week you got tested.
All the fucking nuns
were raving about it.
Lot of good it did me.
I had high hopes when you got out.
- Yeah?
- Look, a guy like you, brains, balls...
If you'd fucking be straight with me,
I could use all that.
Put me in, coach.
All right, we got the casino on Bloomfield
Avenue above the hardware store.
Carlo's guy was running it, but he just
got diagnosed with the Hodgkin's.
- That's mine?
- Yeah.
A lot of fucking money there.
And I'll see what I can do
about getting you straightened out.
Opening up the books for you.
It's long overdue.
So I solved a major problem,
business-wise.
Put a very good
piece of manpower to work.
- My cousin Tony.
- You mentioned how close you two are.
When we were kids,
they called me Tony Uncle Johnny...
and they'd call him Tony Uncle Al.
Right. Yes. You told me all that.
Anyway, he's a very smart guy.
He's got an IQ of 158.
Do you put a lot of stock
into that number?
Why? Are you gonna tell me
it's bullshit?
Because I took that test,
and somebody gets a 158...
well, they know a few things.
So we can assume
you think he's smarter than you.
Honestly, I think he's smarter than you,
the way you keep shitting on the test.
But I'm no gabbadotz myself.
This was a good move.
Carmela and I slept together.
- What was that like?
- It was nice.
It was very...
erotic.
She was wearing that perfume
that she wears.
Poor thing
was starved for it, honestly.
I'm the only man
she's ever been with.
Did you discuss it?
No, I left before she woke up.
How come?
Because if she woke up and I was there,
it would send mixed signals, you know.
I'm not sure that's the best...
Yeah.
No. Tell him I got fax machines
coming out of my ass.
And would you characterize
the separation thus far as amicable?
Ahh, It's barely civil.
Yeah, there are moments when
old habits kick in and, you know, feelings.
But he is definitely not the person
I wanna spend the rest of my life with.
Fair enough. As for the assets...
you've given me your tax returns
and investments here?
The house is in my name,
not the boat.
- That's the Stugots, is it?
- Yes.
I'm a little concerned that the returns
don't really reflect everything.
There is other income.
There's a lot more.
- Unreported income?
- Yes.
And this other income,
is it from an illegal stream?
No, of course not.
But he does deal in cash, my husband.
The carting business.
I see.
Is that a problem?
I handled a case once...
where the husband
owned vending machines.
I used a forensic accountant
to reconstruct his finances.
In less than a week...
he outlined 11 years of income.
And we're talking coins.
Hey, you. Busy day?
I dropped off application
at the Cineplex on Broadway.
Stopped by my dad's.
Looks like he got you a job
working construction.
Construction? That's awesome.
It's in Jersey, though,
so you'll have to take the PATH train.
Fine, no problem.
But the most I ever did, though,
is, like, help my dad paint.
He said you don't need experience.
You'll be a laborer or something.
Pays like 20 bucks an hour.
Holy shit.
How is that even possible?
You believe these fucking Blue Jays?
Last inning, I screamed so loud...
my wife thought
I was having a heart attack.
Why, what happened?
Burrell got shelled. It was beautiful.
- What are you, a Met fan?
- Padres, actually.
- Padres?
- I'm from California.
I gotta go make my collections.
Stick with the Angels.
The Pads haven't had a team in 20 years.
What are you talking about?
They were in the Series in '98.
Yanks in four. I was there.
Hey, shaggy. Grab a bucket
and some Lysol, scrub off my tires.
There's fucking dog shit all over
by the entrance.
I'm supposed to be picking up scrap.
You'll be picking up your teeth
in another second.
Hey, DeTrolio,
you need something to do?
Get fucking lost!
Come on, guys.
Go! Before it sets in the treads.
My checks come in yet?
- I don't know. I didn't see the girl.
- If she ain't got them, send the kid.
Meadow's friend.
When he's done with your car.
Who Meadow?
What are you talking about?
Meadow Soprano.
That's her boyfriend.
There he is.
- I can't find any Lysol.
- Don't worry about it.
Why didn't you tell me
you were dating my niece?
Here.
You take her someplace nice.
Make sure you tell her
it's from Uncle Paulie.
Thank you, I... That's really nice.
Here. Give me that shit.
Paulie! Come here.
Get the hose.
Sorry I'm late.
- You been waiting long?
- Not really.
So to what do I owe this pleasure?
I don't know
if you're gonna see it that way.
I have asked you to lunch
to tell you that I'm filing for divorce.
I hope you brought your appetite.
Why don't you give us a minute.
Oh, that's nice.
Invite me to...
a public place
so you could ambush me.
- What, you think I won't make a scene?
- Spare me your outrage, Tony.
Accept the fact
that I am moving on with my life.
Moving on?
That's what you were doing
after the party last week?
You and I both know
that didn't change anything.
Well, first of all, we're Italian.
We don't believe in divorce.
- We believe in the nuclear family.
- Will you listen to yourself?
Despite your best efforts...
I have an attorney who will
aggressively pursue my custody of A.J...
and also an equitable distribution
of our assets.
Our assets?
I am through trying to get you to provide
beyond the minimum I need to live.
Oh, so it's fucking money?
That's all this is to you?
After all we've been through,
is it so hard to own up...
to anything beyond
that bullshit tax return?
Go stand over there.
I'll call you when I'm ready.
You want money?
How about my 40 grand you stole?
That should be plenty.
- You're such an investment genius.
- You want this to get ugly, Tony?
- Because these guys live for that.
- Oh, you think I don't?
The only reason you have anything
is because of my fucking sweat.
And you knew every step of the way
exactly how it works.
But you walk around
that fucking mansion...
in your $500 shoes
and your diamond rings...
and you act like butter
wouldn't melt in your mouth.
And you don't want it to get ugly?
Too late.
- I want what I am entitled to.
- You're entitled to shit.
She's ready to order.
I guess we get along.
We're just different, you know.
She zigs, I zag. That kind of thing.
What's her dad like?
He's always flirting.
He's okay.
A little intense sometimes.
The main thing's
that he's a good person.
- So you guys gonna get married or what?
- Living together's the same thing.
I lived with a guy once,
and trust me...
it's not even close
to being the same thing.
- What do you mean? Why?
- Because.
You could just pack up and leave
whenever the shit hits the fan.
Talk to married people.
That ring, believe it or not,
it's got this kind of, like, weird power.
- What happened with you and this guy?
- Phineas, me boy.
Hey. It's...
It's actually just Finn.
So the Cubbies gave your boys
a shellacking last night.
- It's still early.
- That's true.
You know who he looks like?
That guy from Aerosmith, Joe Perry.
- Your boss inside?
- Yeah.
- All right. I'll see youse around.
- All right.
He seems like a nice guy.
Yeah. They all are, pretty much.
So you dating anybody now?
It's cute.
- That's a lot of money for not much shirt.
- Relax. I'll put it on my own card.
- Yes, you're damn right you will.
- What's that supposed to mean?
Well, ask your father.
- He stopped paying my credit-card bills.
- Daddy?
You guys looked chummy
in the pool that night.
Well, he went home with Artie.
They helped me clean up.
I have decided to move ahead
with the divorce.
- What are you gonna do?
- About what?
- Life. I don't know.
- Well, what can I do?
Haven't you ever thought beyond
being dependent on some man?
It's so simple for you, isn't it?
It's simple for everybody who isn't
expecting things to be handed to them.
- Even Finn got a job working construction.
- Well, good for Finn, then.
There are options in life.
- Isn't that what you always told me?
- You have options.
I have a lawyer.
Phineas, he was just asking,
how come a dentist?
What's wrong with being
a regular doctor?
I saw this thing on shark teeth
when I was little.
Hey, Phil.
Glad to see you're not exerting yourself
in the heat.
Of course, now he comes.
When the Jersey tomatoes are in season,
can't keep these New York guys away.
Fuck the tomatoes.
I'll take the scarole.
You know my brother, Billy?
- Yeah, what do you say, Bill?
- How you doing?
- Hey, Felicia.
- What?
- Those cases of toner come in yet?
- Yeah. It's in the trailer.
I'm gonna gas up, I'll be right back.
Toner cartridges now? You're not
skimming enough from this job?
- Brother sells them out of his trunk.
- Jesus.
So, Patsy, the necklace,
how'd it go over with the goomar?
Beautiful. With the little emeralds.
- She fucking loved it.
- Yeah.
First he gave her the emeralds,
then he gave her the pearls.
I got Ebel watches too.
Earrings, whatever you need.
- My girl's birthday's coming up.
- Some rack on that girl.
Yeah, if you can
get past the sideburns.
You should talk.
That skank I saw you with.
This girl's fucking mustache,
it must have been like kissing a fireman.
Well, you ought to know, sweetie.
- What did you say?
- Nothing, what?
We're just breaking balls.
- Finn, what time's that game tonight?
- Eight o'clock, I think.
I'm gonna take a piss.
Do me a favor, huh? Hold this.
Oh, shit!
- I knew that was coming.
- My eye!
Your eye? I'm sorry.
I meant to hit you in the fucking mouth!
- Hey.
- Gene, Gene, relax.
- You okay?
- All right. Come on.
- Come on, come on.
- You made your point.
Felicia, call an ambulance.
- Use your own phone, I'm busy.
- You been sick all day.
- Why don't you take the day off.
- Well, what about him?
One of these civilians calls the cops?
What? I think I seen a couple of niggers
running that way.
Oh, yeah, those two guys.
Need to rest? You want some water?
You sure?
- Eugene Pontecorvo? He's so sweet.
- Sweet? He was like an animal.
- Are you gonna eat?
- I'm not hungry. It's too hot anyway.
I told you I was making dinner tonight.
It's really good chili.
You should've seen these guys.
They were laughing, it was fucking sick.
- I mean, is this what you grew up with?
- What are you talking about?
- These people. Your dad's friends.
- I never saw any violence growing up.
What about your dad's road rage?
Didn't you tell me
you had a boyfriend who was killed?
- Shot to death or something?
- First of all, he was killed by drug dealers.
African-Americans,
if that makes you feel any better.
You know, you talk about these guys
like it's an anthropology class.
But the truth is, they bring certain modes
of conflict resolution...
from all the way back
in the old country.
From the poverty of the Mezzogiorno,
where all higher authority was corrupt.
For the Lord Jesus Christ will change
our mortal bodies to be like his in glory.
For he is risen.
The first born from the dead.
In sure and certain hope
of the resurrection unto eternal life...
through our Lord Jesus Christ...
we commend to almighty God
our brother Joseph...
and we commit his body
to its resting place.
Peeps?
It's a fucking nickname.
Family name is Pepparelli.
They're gonna redo it.
Fucking Jason. He's dyslexic.
What's that got to do with it?
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust,
the Lord bless him and keep him.
The Lord make his face
to shine upon him.
The Lord lift up his countenance
upon him and give him peace.
In the name of the Father,
the Son, the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Amen.
John. Johnny, John. Hey.
I'm sorry about the stone.
It was a mistake. We'll fix it.
You remember Mickey Farrell?
Dockworkers, used to run Port Newark.
Guess who he saw on the upper west side
the other night? Your cousin Tony.
- So, what does that mean?
- The same night Joey bought it?
You flip your Maserati, hit your head?
- You two-faced fuck!
- Take it easy.
You wanna yell at somebody, the man
you should talk to is right over there.
That fucking cocksucker.
I should fucking kill him and his
fucking wife and your cousin next.
All right, come on.
Let's take a walk, calm down. Come on.
The fucking gall on that man!
His father must be spinning.
You want my advice?
You go out there, you shake his hand,
and you put this fucking shit to bed.
Shake his hand?
And he kisses the kid's mother?
That's the way it works, John.
You know that.
- Sure, that's why your cousin's here.
- You are sincerely mistaken...
if you think me or my cousin had
anything to do with any of this shit.
- He was spotted three blocks away.
- By Mickey Farrell.
You're gonna believe some
drunken Irish fucking prick over me?
Have a drink.
- I don't want a fucking drink.
- Have one anyway.
So how's your daughter doing?
Good.
All right, maybe I'm wrong...
but you haven't been yourself
since the old man died.
Lorraine Calluzo.
Then you sink this idiot's boat.
- It's not the Johnny Sack I know.
- I'm waiting for your explanation, Tony.
My cousin could not have been in the city
that night, because he was with me.
We were looking for his daughter, John.
Because she fucking disappeared.
We were upstate, Monticello.
We'd heard Kelly had been living with
some fucking crackhead up there.
Matter of fact, we were gonna
reach out to you.
See if you could get some
of your people on her.
I swear on my mother, Tony,
if I find out you're lying...
I'm sitting here humbling myself
out of friendship to you, John.
There he is.
Three out of four dentists surveyed.
- Hey, how you doing?
- Where you going? Come here.
Okay, settle this:
If they fought today, both in their prime:
Ali or Tyson?
If you were laying a bet.
Jeez...
I... I really don't know.
He don't know.
It's an opinion.
To tell you the truth, after the other day,
I really don't wanna say the wrong thing.
You see? This kid's all right.
I should get back.
Ramos will be on my ass.
Would you forget about Ramos,
for chrissakes. I talked to him.
We got the good doughnuts today.
I'm fucking exhausted,
I hardly slept at all last night.
So take a nap.
What are you worried about?
You know the money in that casino?
And to give it to Tony B?
Guy's back on the street two minutes,
gets a fucking promotion.
- Did you even go to the fucking store?
- They're in the freezer, like you like.
Now he's talking about
getting a maid, Tony B.
Really?
Guy gets out of jail,
suddenly I'm dog shit in Tony's eye.
- Chrissy.
- It's true.
Ever since I cleaned up,
no matter what he says...
he don't believe a person can change.
And this asshole went to a shrink.
Maybe he thinks you're working too hard.
North Carolina, plus all that other stuff.
I can multitask, Adriana,
I'm not a fucking retard.
It's always some shit with him:
Side deals, secret promises.
He's always got an agenda.
What happened to not sweating
the small stuff?
All I know is,
I used to be number-one cousin.
Now I'm being eased aside.
Your whole attitude in general.
And while we're at it, kindly remember
what we said about interrupting...
to ask for things
while I'm on the telephone.
Okay, Mom.
- Hello?
- It's me.
Hi, what's up?
Dale just told us
he figured out the rest of his life.
- You still thinking CIA?
- Yeah, fight terror.
- No, I'm gonna go to film school.
- Me too.
I gotta motor.
You don't have to work
for like three hours.
He has to sleep a little.
I'll get a ride with Alex.
At this point,
it doesn't even pay to go home.
Maybe I'll just crash at work.
Felicia told me where she
keeps a key to the trailer.
Felicia told him.
- Be careful driving.
- All right. I'll see you tonight.
- Later.
- Bye.
You sound like a racehorse
pissing in there.
Hey, how's it going?
I never asked you
what your last name is.
- It's DeTrolio.
- Finn DeTrolio. My arch nemesis.
- You enjoying yourself here?
- It's all right.
I keep telling you,
you shouldn't work so hard.
Long hours, this fucking heat.
Plus, you came in so early today.
I just do what the job is.
Good.
You're strong. That helps.
- You know, you can call me Vito.
- Yeah, I know.
So say it. Let me hear you say,
"What's up, Vito?"
What's up, Vito?
Not much, Finn.
Except I got a little surprise for you:
Two tickets to see your Padres
take a beating from the Yanks tonight.
- Shit.
- Third-base line. Plus, it's bat night.
That's really nice, Vito, but I...
Don't know if I can...
Don't pull that "aw, shucks" shit
with me. You're fucking going.
I'll see you under the bat tonight.
Seven sharp.
And I don't like to miss
the national anthem.
So you're just not gonna show up? You
love baseball. What is wrong with you?
I don't like the guy, all right?
Right. I get it.
Dr. DeTrolio can't hang
with the common folk.
He came on to me, all right?
Either that, or he wants to kill me.
What?
I saw him blowing some security guard
in the parking lot.
- When? What are you talking about?
- This morning, I showed up early...
I didn't wanna say anything,
but I'm really afraid of this guy.
Vito Spatafore is a married man, Finn.
I seriously doubt he wants to kill you.
Well, maybe he wants to fuck me
and then kill me.
Wait a minute, is that why
you got out the suitcase?
I am not going back to the site.
Do you have any idea the strings
my father pulled to get you that job...
and you just fucking quit?
I'm gonna hear so much bullshit.
So it's all about you, right?
Is that all you can say whenever
it's anything to do with my feelings?
- So you're going back to Mission Viejo?
- I didn't say that.
Why don't you just admit it?
This whole thing,
the fight, the stuff with Vito...
it's really about you
not wanting to commit.
- I'm right here. We fucking live together.
- But you got out a suitcase.
It's my process, okay?
Look, you never can tell.
- Your process?
- About anything. The future. I was...
thinking out loud.
Well, not out loud, but in the action
of getting the suitcase, I was thinking.
- Thinking of leaving.
- No.
- Well, yes. But I'm still here. I didn't go.
- Fuck you!
Right. Great. Fuck me.
There was no abundant intentionality
in me getting out the suitcase.
I could leave too, you know.
My friend Hunter's in Montreal.
Do I know?
With the French roommate guy...
who was all over your ass
the time that we visited.
You don't think you keep mentioning him
every 24 hours at a minimum?
Because he's thinking of becoming
an oral surgeon.
And you might've had a new friend...
if you hadn't been so obnoxious
to him at the club!
- Can we just stop fighting?
- You got out a suitcase!
I'll put it back, okay?
Now batting for the Padres...
So it's not about us, but suddenly
you're talking about options?
Don't paraphrase what I said.
I said this point in our lives is a transition
period, forced on us by external events.
School is over for me,
and next year, for you.
These are difficult choices. What?
You'd rather not have choices?
- Thank God for choices.
- Oh, stop your bullshit!
It's really simple.
Are we going to stay together or not?
- If you want.
- That's not what I asked.
- I said I did.
- And then you said:
"How are we gonna keep it together...
through four years
of dental school for you...
and probably med school for me?"
Well, it's a good question.
But why ask it now?
Tonight, of all times?
- Are you asleep?
- No.
You were. And now you're gonna lie,
like you did about the suitcase.
- I did not lie about the suitcase.
- Oh, then what do you call it?
I don't know, I explained it.
Jesus, you should quit the law center.
You're like a prosecutor.
At 4 in the morning, I can't think.
How can you sleep
when we're in the middle of this?
In the middle of what? All I said was
I didn't wanna go back to the job site...
and maybe I should go home
until this thing with Vito blows over.
But you didn't ask me to come.
You went right to the closet
and got out your suitcase.
Jesus Christ!
Look, just stop crying, okay?
Why don't we just get married.
Married?
Let's get engaged.
Really?
Why are you saying that now?
I can't think, it's too late.
It's just something I feel very strongly.
I was wondering when I was gonna
hear from you. Never got your statement.
Well, actually, that's why I called.
We hit a bit of a snag.
What kind of snag?
Well, I put a call in to Phil Canter
a few days ago, the forensic accountant.
- The one with the vending machines.
- But then I didn't hear back from him.
Suddenly he called
and said he wasn't interested.
- So I called another accountant.
- And?
Frankly, when he heard your husband
was the defendant...
he demurred as well.
So, what does this mean,
you don't want the case?
Well, as my partners reminded me,
I do have a full caseload already.
I probably should've mentioned...
And you were feeling so positive.
I woke up this morning,
the depression just washed over me.
You are dissolving a 20-year marriage.
It's not my
fucking goddamn marriage, okay?
I had another panic attack.
- And I thought I had this shit beat.
- What happened?
Playing golf with a friend of mine,
and he was...
talking about this young guy he knew
who passed away.
And I guess I became
overcome with emotion...
because they had to help me
off the tee.
It's not the first time
it's happened recently.
- I wish you had told me.
- Yeah, well, I wish you'd cured it.
When the attacks first reappeared,
what was going on in your life?
You had just rebuffed my affections.
When you actually passed out,
were you thinking about me, or...?
I walked into my house,
and the cleaning girl was...
crying on the phone
about her cousin...
who went off the road
in a Mexican bus wreck or something.
And I remember just...
feeling inside like
I wanted to fucking choke her...
because it was always something
with her.
Next thing I know:
When did it next happen?
My cousin Tony was up by the house.
He wanted to borrow some tools,
and they weren't there.
I was inside talking to Carmela
and started to feel that...
You know. And it passed.
- Your cousin was at your house?
- Yeah.
- Tony Uncle Whatever?
- Uncle Al.
And your maid was crying
about her cousin?
The other day at the golf course...
my cousin entered into that too.
- In what way?
- He hurt his foot.
You were so concerned
about your cousin's foot...
you collapsed on the golf course?
I worry about him.
He's a grown man, isn't he?
- Is he in danger of losing the foot or...?
- Fuck his foot! It's not his foot!
Forget the foot!
I worry about him. He's...
He's right out of fucking jail, okay?
All right, look.
The reason he went to prison...
is he got pinched hijacking
a truckload of Betamaxes in '86.
And they hooked him up on a RICO,
and he got 17 years.
And I was supposed to be there
the night of the jacking.
- I see.
- Oh, you see?
- Why didn't you go?
- I was jumped by a bunch of melanzanes.
They were trying to take my shoes.
I fought them off...
but they cut my fucking head open,
the fucking jigaboo...
cocksucking motherfuckers...
Okay, forget that.
Your cousin went to prison.
That's tremendous guilt to carry.
He went to Nam, I was 4-F.
And that's the way our friends look at it.
- And that's why you favor Tony Uncle Al?
- In those 17 years, I did so good.
He... He lost his wife, his daughter.
No wonder
you're having anxiety attacks.
Yeah.
Maybe if you came clean with him.
Yeah, well, yeah.
- You okay?
- Yeah.
Go on... Go on... Go on with
what you were saying.
- Are you having an attack now?
- No.
No, I had a huge lunch,
that's all. It's... It's gas.
What is it, Anthony?
- Anthony?
- All right, the night he got pinched...
I had a fucking panic attack, all right?
From my mother, goddamn it.
- I didn't even know what it was then!
- All right, just relax.
Focus on your breathing. Slowly.
It's not that, I just... I just need
some fucking Beano or something.
No, just, please, focus.
I've got my medical bag, in case.
Black guys. My ass.
I had a fight with my mother
and I had a fucking panic attack!
Okay, forget that for now.
Carmela was supposed to come over
with some fucking yarn...
for some booties
my mother was making Meadow.
She was late.
What the fuck? Why go into it?
Close your eyes.
Focus on your breathing.
- You want some water?
- She was carrying on.
I said to her, I said,
"Carmela loves you.
You know, you gotta understand it,
she's got a 3-month-old."
And she kept fucking... She kept going.
I... I started screaming at her. So I left.
I walked out the door, I went over
to the car, I opened the door:
- Cut my fucking head open.
- And your cousin doesn't know this?
No, I lied. What am I gonna tell him?
What am I gonna tell all of them?
I had a fight with my mother, I fainted?
That's why I missed the job.
Jesus fucking Christ!
That's a lot to get off your chest.
I thought I was smart, and that's why
I bumped him up and protect him.
Turns out I'm just a fucking robot
to my own pussy-ass weakness.
He's also a capable person.
You okay?
You know, sometimes what happens
in here is like taking a shit.
Yes, okay.
Although I prefer to think of it
more like childbirth.
Trust me...
it's like taking a shit.
- Hello?
- Mom? I'm engaged.
- What?
- Finn proposed. We're getting married.
Are you sure? Ca...
I mean, that's wonderful, honey.
I'm just so surprised.
He's gonna finish dental school,
though, right?
We're both finishing school.
We're not getting married...
till we have our degrees.
This is so exciting.
I can't wait
for you to meet his parents.
Well, we'll have to have a party.
He's using his graduation present
to buy me a ring.
That is so sweet.
I told him he shouldn't.
- Oh, my God, I'm gonna cry.
- Yeah.
---
Into the bottom of the eighth.
A very tight game on a hot day.
- Oh, it sure is today, isn't it?
- It certainly is, Roger.
Mets tying it up
2-2 in the sixth.
Man on second.
Want another super nacho?
No, they been sitting too long.
The cheese is all sweaty.
This guy in the joint,
crazy Rasta fuck...
used to make grilled cheese
on the radiator.
He put the bread
between two sheets of paper.
Had a whole system.
- What did you do to your foot?
- The other night. Fucking Irvington.
- Two black guys jumped me outside a bar.
- With half of them locked up...
making grilled cheese, you'd think there
wouldn't be many around making trouble.
- Should I melt another batch?
- No, I'm good. I got dinner in the city.
So, Finn, you got any plans
for the summer?
Going back to Mission Viejo
to surf or whatever?
Actually, I'm hoping to stay here
in the city.
- How's summer school going?
- It sucks.
I did summer school once.
You can still have fun.
At Casa Carmela? He's looking at
maximum-security summer.
Excuse me a minute.
Why don't you cut your mother a break.
For the record...
she's holding this family together
under this current situation and all.
- Can we get the check, please?
- The young man took care of it.
- You paid the check?
- I figured since you're always so...
you know, generous,
I should reciprocate.
You're lucky you don't
get your head handed to you.
- Dad.
- Let's get this straight: You eat. I pay.
- Mr. Soprano...
- No, when you have your own family...
you pay.
Let's go.
Just take the money.
Listen, I didn't mean
to bite your head off in there.
No, it's fine. I didn't mean to overstep.
I just wanted to say thank you.
You're a good guy.
I respect you trying.
And then he fell asleep right after.
He did call me late the next morning.
And he sent flowers.
But other than that,
I haven't heard from him all week.
- What did he say?
- That it was nice, you know.
And it was nice.
He was very sweet, actually.
So you think
what happened at the party...
is an overture
Tony wants to get back together?
I don't know. Maybe.
He's dropping A.J. off later.
This is the last thing
I need to get into right now.
Oh, please, he never had it so good.
Well, that's him.
You two should talk. Let me just pee.
Okay.
So was your father in a rush now
or something?
I don't know. He said he was tired.
To give you this
and a kiss on the cheek.
Thank God. It's the last thing I needed
was to talk to him.
Know who loved golf?
It was Joey Peeps.
May he rest in peace.
It's sad when they go young like that.
When they go?
Come on, huh?
It was Little Carmine behind it.
Payback for that whore he was fucking,
Lorraine Calluzo.
You don't know that for sure, John.
Little Carmine knew
how fond I was of this kid, Tony.
I picked him out of the chorus.
Schooled him
those years he was my driver.
Anything from your cop?
Some homeless fuck
saw a guy limping away.
And then he wasn't sure.
I'll tell you, I don't know how
I'm gonna get through Joey's funeral.
And forget about Ginny.
Every Christmas, Joey would send her
a Grandma's of Maine coffeecake.
What's wrong? You all right?
- Is it his heart?
- No. It's this fucking weather.
Sudden changes.
Fucks up your respiratory system.
- Come on.
- Get some...
- I got you.
- Get some electrolytes in him.
- We got you.
- Come on, buddy.
- Come on.
- That's it. Sit down.
Good, good. That's it. That's it.
You're all right. You're all right.
The point I am trying
to illustrate...
is that of course no one wants
all-out conflict.
But historically, historical changes
have come out of war.
Far as I'm concerned, it's a new day. All
old treaties and ways of doing things...
are null and void.
Exactly.
And the Joe Peeps thing?
Where does that leave us?
When you've had
a quadruple bypass like I did...
it gives you a lot of time to think.
The only thing Johnny understands
is force.
But the fact is, though,
we pissed on a bees' nest.
So, what's the other option? Rollover?
We could've had a sit-down.
- The other captains, maybe.
- This isn't the U.N., Angelo.
I won't let what happened to my father
happen to me.
God forgive me, but you may be
a stronger man than your dad was.
The fundamental question is:
Will I be as effective as a boss
like my dad was?
And I will be. Even more so.
But until I am...
it's gonna be hard to verify that
I think I'll be more effective.
I just talked to my parents.
They offered me a JetBlue ticket home.
No economic relief.
What did the lady
at Student Placement say?
- I never went down there.
- Why didn't you?
This economy? Hello?
I mean, even the crappiest McJobs
aren't there.
Besides, I wouldn't wanna take away
a job a minority could have.
Just... It doesn't cool anything
anyway. Leave it.
Don't open the window.
The garbage reeks.
Why do we wanna be
in New York anyway?
It was supposed to be fun, remember?
Summer before the big grad school push.
You could go out to Jersey,
sleep in comfort.
- Is that what you want?
- No.
All I know is, I cannot go home
and live with my parents.
I graduated.
I mean, maybe I should go back out.
I can work as a PA for Josh's dad.
At least I'd earn some cash.
- You could come out for a week.
- Wait, wait. What?
He's a photographer, I told you.
He does major magazine ads. BMW.
It's pretty cool stuff.
- Is that what you want?
- No.
But at least I'd have money.
- Your thing with models.
- There's no models.
- What?
- It's interesting work.
As a career, actually. I mean...
Josh's dad saw my shots
that won the prize in high school...
said they were solidly unsentimental.
What are you talking about?
Just blow off dental school?
You haven't taken a photograph in a year.
You bitch every time we're at a party...
and I ask you to take a snap
of me and my friends.
- Look, I'm just saying.
- I gave up junior year abroad...
so we could be together.
I know, and I wanna stay here.
I could come out west with you.
- But I have to blow off the law center.
- Is that what you wanna do?
I don't know.
Do you want me to come out?
- If you want to.
- No, you need to say.
Maybe we should stay out there.
You could transfer to UCLA.
Fuck it.
It's roasting in here.
It's 10:30.
We can still get into a movie.
- What do you wanna see?
- I don't know. You say.
No, you.
- Hello?
- Mrs. Soprano.
- Lee Nieman, returning.
- Oh, hi, great. Thank you.
The reason I called...
I gave your secretary the broad strokes.
You're in the middle of a separation,
the original attorney retired.
Right. Bob Greenberg.
At any rate, I'm thinking it's time I move
forward with the divorce proceedings.
Mrs. Soprano, I'm afraid
I'm gonna have to cut you short.
As far as handling it,
I'm afraid I have to recuse myself.
What do you mean? Why?
Actually, your husband had been in
to see me for a consultation last year.
- My husband hired you?
- No.
But based on a prior meeting,
the code of professional responsibility...
precludes me from representing you
because of that consultation.
But he met with Greenberg too,
and he was willing to represent me.
Mr. Greenberg would've found himself in
some ethical soup had he moved forward.
I don't understand this.
Why is my husband so picky?
He talked to seven or eight of the
top divorce attorneys in New Jersey.
Well, you can probably
figure that maneuver out for yourself.
Jesus Christ.
I understand your frustration.
If you like, I can recommend a colleague.
Someone your husband
hasn't contaminated.
Well, yeah, okay.
According to Johnny Sack, kid's brains
were splattered all over the seat.
Joe Peeps?
Couldn't have been too much
to clean up.
I heard the hooker he was with
got it in the chest.
Must have been silicone
everywheres too.
Why you always try and top me?
You took the air right out of
my whole fucking punch line, asshole.
Anyway, Joey Peeps' mom's a widow.
She's in a wheelchair.
Johnny's taking care of the internment,
that shit there.
I'm thinking we should
pick up the headstone.
- Jason, get into it.
- I'll call the marble guy.
- What's up, guys?
- Frankie.
- Frankie.
- Talk to you outside?
Give me two.
What's up?
Turns out somebody got a look
at the guy that did Joe Peeps.
All they got so far
is he's got a bad limp.
AHH.
Long John Silver, maybe.
Where the fuck do you get the balls?
I am bending over backwards
trying to stay neutral.
Paying for fucking car seats.
And you're out there
acting like a fucking free-agent!
And don't look at me
like I'm a fucking jerk-off.
I'm sick of you leaning on this
cousin thing and that bad hijack...
like you can do
whatever the fuck it is you wanna do...
because you went away that night,
and I didn't.
You're the one who keeps
bringing that up. I'm fine with it.
First of all, for the record,
I had nothing to do with this.
- Don't fucking lie to me!
- Even if I was...
would you really wanna know?
That would just be another problem
for you with Johnny, right?
All right, look, I know
you're not earning what you expected...
and you got the twins and Nancy.
You're a capable guy.
Your mother let it slip one time:
You got an IQ of 158.
- She told you that?
- It was the week you got tested.
All the fucking nuns
were raving about it.
Lot of good it did me.
I had high hopes when you got out.
- Yeah?
- Look, a guy like you, brains, balls...
If you'd fucking be straight with me,
I could use all that.
Put me in, coach.
All right, we got the casino on Bloomfield
Avenue above the hardware store.
Carlo's guy was running it, but he just
got diagnosed with the Hodgkin's.
- That's mine?
- Yeah.
A lot of fucking money there.
And I'll see what I can do
about getting you straightened out.
Opening up the books for you.
It's long overdue.
So I solved a major problem,
business-wise.
Put a very good
piece of manpower to work.
- My cousin Tony.
- You mentioned how close you two are.
When we were kids,
they called me Tony Uncle Johnny...
and they'd call him Tony Uncle Al.
Right. Yes. You told me all that.
Anyway, he's a very smart guy.
He's got an IQ of 158.
Do you put a lot of stock
into that number?
Why? Are you gonna tell me
it's bullshit?
Because I took that test,
and somebody gets a 158...
well, they know a few things.
So we can assume
you think he's smarter than you.
Honestly, I think he's smarter than you,
the way you keep shitting on the test.
But I'm no gabbadotz myself.
This was a good move.
Carmela and I slept together.
- What was that like?
- It was nice.
It was very...
erotic.
She was wearing that perfume
that she wears.
Poor thing
was starved for it, honestly.
I'm the only man
she's ever been with.
Did you discuss it?
No, I left before she woke up.
How come?
Because if she woke up and I was there,
it would send mixed signals, you know.
I'm not sure that's the best...
Yeah.
No. Tell him I got fax machines
coming out of my ass.
And would you characterize
the separation thus far as amicable?
Ahh, It's barely civil.
Yeah, there are moments when
old habits kick in and, you know, feelings.
But he is definitely not the person
I wanna spend the rest of my life with.
Fair enough. As for the assets...
you've given me your tax returns
and investments here?
The house is in my name,
not the boat.
- That's the Stugots, is it?
- Yes.
I'm a little concerned that the returns
don't really reflect everything.
There is other income.
There's a lot more.
- Unreported income?
- Yes.
And this other income,
is it from an illegal stream?
No, of course not.
But he does deal in cash, my husband.
The carting business.
I see.
Is that a problem?
I handled a case once...
where the husband
owned vending machines.
I used a forensic accountant
to reconstruct his finances.
In less than a week...
he outlined 11 years of income.
And we're talking coins.
Hey, you. Busy day?
I dropped off application
at the Cineplex on Broadway.
Stopped by my dad's.
Looks like he got you a job
working construction.
Construction? That's awesome.
It's in Jersey, though,
so you'll have to take the PATH train.
Fine, no problem.
But the most I ever did, though,
is, like, help my dad paint.
He said you don't need experience.
You'll be a laborer or something.
Pays like 20 bucks an hour.
Holy shit.
How is that even possible?
You believe these fucking Blue Jays?
Last inning, I screamed so loud...
my wife thought
I was having a heart attack.
Why, what happened?
Burrell got shelled. It was beautiful.
- What are you, a Met fan?
- Padres, actually.
- Padres?
- I'm from California.
I gotta go make my collections.
Stick with the Angels.
The Pads haven't had a team in 20 years.
What are you talking about?
They were in the Series in '98.
Yanks in four. I was there.
Hey, shaggy. Grab a bucket
and some Lysol, scrub off my tires.
There's fucking dog shit all over
by the entrance.
I'm supposed to be picking up scrap.
You'll be picking up your teeth
in another second.
Hey, DeTrolio,
you need something to do?
Get fucking lost!
Come on, guys.
Go! Before it sets in the treads.
My checks come in yet?
- I don't know. I didn't see the girl.
- If she ain't got them, send the kid.
Meadow's friend.
When he's done with your car.
Who Meadow?
What are you talking about?
Meadow Soprano.
That's her boyfriend.
There he is.
- I can't find any Lysol.
- Don't worry about it.
Why didn't you tell me
you were dating my niece?
Here.
You take her someplace nice.
Make sure you tell her
it's from Uncle Paulie.
Thank you, I... That's really nice.
Here. Give me that shit.
Paulie! Come here.
Get the hose.
Sorry I'm late.
- You been waiting long?
- Not really.
So to what do I owe this pleasure?
I don't know
if you're gonna see it that way.
I have asked you to lunch
to tell you that I'm filing for divorce.
I hope you brought your appetite.
Why don't you give us a minute.
Oh, that's nice.
Invite me to...
a public place
so you could ambush me.
- What, you think I won't make a scene?
- Spare me your outrage, Tony.
Accept the fact
that I am moving on with my life.
Moving on?
That's what you were doing
after the party last week?
You and I both know
that didn't change anything.
Well, first of all, we're Italian.
We don't believe in divorce.
- We believe in the nuclear family.
- Will you listen to yourself?
Despite your best efforts...
I have an attorney who will
aggressively pursue my custody of A.J...
and also an equitable distribution
of our assets.
Our assets?
I am through trying to get you to provide
beyond the minimum I need to live.
Oh, so it's fucking money?
That's all this is to you?
After all we've been through,
is it so hard to own up...
to anything beyond
that bullshit tax return?
Go stand over there.
I'll call you when I'm ready.
You want money?
How about my 40 grand you stole?
That should be plenty.
- You're such an investment genius.
- You want this to get ugly, Tony?
- Because these guys live for that.
- Oh, you think I don't?
The only reason you have anything
is because of my fucking sweat.
And you knew every step of the way
exactly how it works.
But you walk around
that fucking mansion...
in your $500 shoes
and your diamond rings...
and you act like butter
wouldn't melt in your mouth.
And you don't want it to get ugly?
Too late.
- I want what I am entitled to.
- You're entitled to shit.
She's ready to order.
I guess we get along.
We're just different, you know.
She zigs, I zag. That kind of thing.
What's her dad like?
He's always flirting.
He's okay.
A little intense sometimes.
The main thing's
that he's a good person.
- So you guys gonna get married or what?
- Living together's the same thing.
I lived with a guy once,
and trust me...
it's not even close
to being the same thing.
- What do you mean? Why?
- Because.
You could just pack up and leave
whenever the shit hits the fan.
Talk to married people.
That ring, believe it or not,
it's got this kind of, like, weird power.
- What happened with you and this guy?
- Phineas, me boy.
Hey. It's...
It's actually just Finn.
So the Cubbies gave your boys
a shellacking last night.
- It's still early.
- That's true.
You know who he looks like?
That guy from Aerosmith, Joe Perry.
- Your boss inside?
- Yeah.
- All right. I'll see youse around.
- All right.
He seems like a nice guy.
Yeah. They all are, pretty much.
So you dating anybody now?
It's cute.
- That's a lot of money for not much shirt.
- Relax. I'll put it on my own card.
- Yes, you're damn right you will.
- What's that supposed to mean?
Well, ask your father.
- He stopped paying my credit-card bills.
- Daddy?
You guys looked chummy
in the pool that night.
Well, he went home with Artie.
They helped me clean up.
I have decided to move ahead
with the divorce.
- What are you gonna do?
- About what?
- Life. I don't know.
- Well, what can I do?
Haven't you ever thought beyond
being dependent on some man?
It's so simple for you, isn't it?
It's simple for everybody who isn't
expecting things to be handed to them.
- Even Finn got a job working construction.
- Well, good for Finn, then.
There are options in life.
- Isn't that what you always told me?
- You have options.
I have a lawyer.
Phineas, he was just asking,
how come a dentist?
What's wrong with being
a regular doctor?
I saw this thing on shark teeth
when I was little.
Hey, Phil.
Glad to see you're not exerting yourself
in the heat.
Of course, now he comes.
When the Jersey tomatoes are in season,
can't keep these New York guys away.
Fuck the tomatoes.
I'll take the scarole.
You know my brother, Billy?
- Yeah, what do you say, Bill?
- How you doing?
- Hey, Felicia.
- What?
- Those cases of toner come in yet?
- Yeah. It's in the trailer.
I'm gonna gas up, I'll be right back.
Toner cartridges now? You're not
skimming enough from this job?
- Brother sells them out of his trunk.
- Jesus.
So, Patsy, the necklace,
how'd it go over with the goomar?
Beautiful. With the little emeralds.
- She fucking loved it.
- Yeah.
First he gave her the emeralds,
then he gave her the pearls.
I got Ebel watches too.
Earrings, whatever you need.
- My girl's birthday's coming up.
- Some rack on that girl.
Yeah, if you can
get past the sideburns.
You should talk.
That skank I saw you with.
This girl's fucking mustache,
it must have been like kissing a fireman.
Well, you ought to know, sweetie.
- What did you say?
- Nothing, what?
We're just breaking balls.
- Finn, what time's that game tonight?
- Eight o'clock, I think.
I'm gonna take a piss.
Do me a favor, huh? Hold this.
Oh, shit!
- I knew that was coming.
- My eye!
Your eye? I'm sorry.
I meant to hit you in the fucking mouth!
- Hey.
- Gene, Gene, relax.
- You okay?
- All right. Come on.
- Come on, come on.
- You made your point.
Felicia, call an ambulance.
- Use your own phone, I'm busy.
- You been sick all day.
- Why don't you take the day off.
- Well, what about him?
One of these civilians calls the cops?
What? I think I seen a couple of niggers
running that way.
Oh, yeah, those two guys.
Need to rest? You want some water?
You sure?
- Eugene Pontecorvo? He's so sweet.
- Sweet? He was like an animal.
- Are you gonna eat?
- I'm not hungry. It's too hot anyway.
I told you I was making dinner tonight.
It's really good chili.
You should've seen these guys.
They were laughing, it was fucking sick.
- I mean, is this what you grew up with?
- What are you talking about?
- These people. Your dad's friends.
- I never saw any violence growing up.
What about your dad's road rage?
Didn't you tell me
you had a boyfriend who was killed?
- Shot to death or something?
- First of all, he was killed by drug dealers.
African-Americans,
if that makes you feel any better.
You know, you talk about these guys
like it's an anthropology class.
But the truth is, they bring certain modes
of conflict resolution...
from all the way back
in the old country.
From the poverty of the Mezzogiorno,
where all higher authority was corrupt.
For the Lord Jesus Christ will change
our mortal bodies to be like his in glory.
For he is risen.
The first born from the dead.
In sure and certain hope
of the resurrection unto eternal life...
through our Lord Jesus Christ...
we commend to almighty God
our brother Joseph...
and we commit his body
to its resting place.
Peeps?
It's a fucking nickname.
Family name is Pepparelli.
They're gonna redo it.
Fucking Jason. He's dyslexic.
What's that got to do with it?
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust,
the Lord bless him and keep him.
The Lord make his face
to shine upon him.
The Lord lift up his countenance
upon him and give him peace.
In the name of the Father,
the Son, the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Amen.
John. Johnny, John. Hey.
I'm sorry about the stone.
It was a mistake. We'll fix it.
You remember Mickey Farrell?
Dockworkers, used to run Port Newark.
Guess who he saw on the upper west side
the other night? Your cousin Tony.
- So, what does that mean?
- The same night Joey bought it?
You flip your Maserati, hit your head?
- You two-faced fuck!
- Take it easy.
You wanna yell at somebody, the man
you should talk to is right over there.
That fucking cocksucker.
I should fucking kill him and his
fucking wife and your cousin next.
All right, come on.
Let's take a walk, calm down. Come on.
The fucking gall on that man!
His father must be spinning.
You want my advice?
You go out there, you shake his hand,
and you put this fucking shit to bed.
Shake his hand?
And he kisses the kid's mother?
That's the way it works, John.
You know that.
- Sure, that's why your cousin's here.
- You are sincerely mistaken...
if you think me or my cousin had
anything to do with any of this shit.
- He was spotted three blocks away.
- By Mickey Farrell.
You're gonna believe some
drunken Irish fucking prick over me?
Have a drink.
- I don't want a fucking drink.
- Have one anyway.
So how's your daughter doing?
Good.
All right, maybe I'm wrong...
but you haven't been yourself
since the old man died.
Lorraine Calluzo.
Then you sink this idiot's boat.
- It's not the Johnny Sack I know.
- I'm waiting for your explanation, Tony.
My cousin could not have been in the city
that night, because he was with me.
We were looking for his daughter, John.
Because she fucking disappeared.
We were upstate, Monticello.
We'd heard Kelly had been living with
some fucking crackhead up there.
Matter of fact, we were gonna
reach out to you.
See if you could get some
of your people on her.
I swear on my mother, Tony,
if I find out you're lying...
I'm sitting here humbling myself
out of friendship to you, John.
There he is.
Three out of four dentists surveyed.
- Hey, how you doing?
- Where you going? Come here.
Okay, settle this:
If they fought today, both in their prime:
Ali or Tyson?
If you were laying a bet.
Jeez...
I... I really don't know.
He don't know.
It's an opinion.
To tell you the truth, after the other day,
I really don't wanna say the wrong thing.
You see? This kid's all right.
I should get back.
Ramos will be on my ass.
Would you forget about Ramos,
for chrissakes. I talked to him.
We got the good doughnuts today.
I'm fucking exhausted,
I hardly slept at all last night.
So take a nap.
What are you worried about?
You know the money in that casino?
And to give it to Tony B?
Guy's back on the street two minutes,
gets a fucking promotion.
- Did you even go to the fucking store?
- They're in the freezer, like you like.
Now he's talking about
getting a maid, Tony B.
Really?
Guy gets out of jail,
suddenly I'm dog shit in Tony's eye.
- Chrissy.
- It's true.
Ever since I cleaned up,
no matter what he says...
he don't believe a person can change.
And this asshole went to a shrink.
Maybe he thinks you're working too hard.
North Carolina, plus all that other stuff.
I can multitask, Adriana,
I'm not a fucking retard.
It's always some shit with him:
Side deals, secret promises.
He's always got an agenda.
What happened to not sweating
the small stuff?
All I know is,
I used to be number-one cousin.
Now I'm being eased aside.
Your whole attitude in general.
And while we're at it, kindly remember
what we said about interrupting...
to ask for things
while I'm on the telephone.
Okay, Mom.
- Hello?
- It's me.
Hi, what's up?
Dale just told us
he figured out the rest of his life.
- You still thinking CIA?
- Yeah, fight terror.
- No, I'm gonna go to film school.
- Me too.
I gotta motor.
You don't have to work
for like three hours.
He has to sleep a little.
I'll get a ride with Alex.
At this point,
it doesn't even pay to go home.
Maybe I'll just crash at work.
Felicia told me where she
keeps a key to the trailer.
Felicia told him.
- Be careful driving.
- All right. I'll see you tonight.
- Later.
- Bye.
You sound like a racehorse
pissing in there.
Hey, how's it going?
I never asked you
what your last name is.
- It's DeTrolio.
- Finn DeTrolio. My arch nemesis.
- You enjoying yourself here?
- It's all right.
I keep telling you,
you shouldn't work so hard.
Long hours, this fucking heat.
Plus, you came in so early today.
I just do what the job is.
Good.
You're strong. That helps.
- You know, you can call me Vito.
- Yeah, I know.
So say it. Let me hear you say,
"What's up, Vito?"
What's up, Vito?
Not much, Finn.
Except I got a little surprise for you:
Two tickets to see your Padres
take a beating from the Yanks tonight.
- Shit.
- Third-base line. Plus, it's bat night.
That's really nice, Vito, but I...
Don't know if I can...
Don't pull that "aw, shucks" shit
with me. You're fucking going.
I'll see you under the bat tonight.
Seven sharp.
And I don't like to miss
the national anthem.
So you're just not gonna show up? You
love baseball. What is wrong with you?
I don't like the guy, all right?
Right. I get it.
Dr. DeTrolio can't hang
with the common folk.
He came on to me, all right?
Either that, or he wants to kill me.
What?
I saw him blowing some security guard
in the parking lot.
- When? What are you talking about?
- This morning, I showed up early...
I didn't wanna say anything,
but I'm really afraid of this guy.
Vito Spatafore is a married man, Finn.
I seriously doubt he wants to kill you.
Well, maybe he wants to fuck me
and then kill me.
Wait a minute, is that why
you got out the suitcase?
I am not going back to the site.
Do you have any idea the strings
my father pulled to get you that job...
and you just fucking quit?
I'm gonna hear so much bullshit.
So it's all about you, right?
Is that all you can say whenever
it's anything to do with my feelings?
- So you're going back to Mission Viejo?
- I didn't say that.
Why don't you just admit it?
This whole thing,
the fight, the stuff with Vito...
it's really about you
not wanting to commit.
- I'm right here. We fucking live together.
- But you got out a suitcase.
It's my process, okay?
Look, you never can tell.
- Your process?
- About anything. The future. I was...
thinking out loud.
Well, not out loud, but in the action
of getting the suitcase, I was thinking.
- Thinking of leaving.
- No.
- Well, yes. But I'm still here. I didn't go.
- Fuck you!
Right. Great. Fuck me.
There was no abundant intentionality
in me getting out the suitcase.
I could leave too, you know.
My friend Hunter's in Montreal.
Do I know?
With the French roommate guy...
who was all over your ass
the time that we visited.
You don't think you keep mentioning him
every 24 hours at a minimum?
Because he's thinking of becoming
an oral surgeon.
And you might've had a new friend...
if you hadn't been so obnoxious
to him at the club!
- Can we just stop fighting?
- You got out a suitcase!
I'll put it back, okay?
Now batting for the Padres...
So it's not about us, but suddenly
you're talking about options?
Don't paraphrase what I said.
I said this point in our lives is a transition
period, forced on us by external events.
School is over for me,
and next year, for you.
These are difficult choices. What?
You'd rather not have choices?
- Thank God for choices.
- Oh, stop your bullshit!
It's really simple.
Are we going to stay together or not?
- If you want.
- That's not what I asked.
- I said I did.
- And then you said:
"How are we gonna keep it together...
through four years
of dental school for you...
and probably med school for me?"
Well, it's a good question.
But why ask it now?
Tonight, of all times?
- Are you asleep?
- No.
You were. And now you're gonna lie,
like you did about the suitcase.
- I did not lie about the suitcase.
- Oh, then what do you call it?
I don't know, I explained it.
Jesus, you should quit the law center.
You're like a prosecutor.
At 4 in the morning, I can't think.
How can you sleep
when we're in the middle of this?
In the middle of what? All I said was
I didn't wanna go back to the job site...
and maybe I should go home
until this thing with Vito blows over.
But you didn't ask me to come.
You went right to the closet
and got out your suitcase.
Jesus Christ!
Look, just stop crying, okay?
Why don't we just get married.
Married?
Let's get engaged.
Really?
Why are you saying that now?
I can't think, it's too late.
It's just something I feel very strongly.
I was wondering when I was gonna
hear from you. Never got your statement.
Well, actually, that's why I called.
We hit a bit of a snag.
What kind of snag?
Well, I put a call in to Phil Canter
a few days ago, the forensic accountant.
- The one with the vending machines.
- But then I didn't hear back from him.
Suddenly he called
and said he wasn't interested.
- So I called another accountant.
- And?
Frankly, when he heard your husband
was the defendant...
he demurred as well.
So, what does this mean,
you don't want the case?
Well, as my partners reminded me,
I do have a full caseload already.
I probably should've mentioned...
And you were feeling so positive.
I woke up this morning,
the depression just washed over me.
You are dissolving a 20-year marriage.
It's not my
fucking goddamn marriage, okay?
I had another panic attack.
- And I thought I had this shit beat.
- What happened?
Playing golf with a friend of mine,
and he was...
talking about this young guy he knew
who passed away.
And I guess I became
overcome with emotion...
because they had to help me
off the tee.
It's not the first time
it's happened recently.
- I wish you had told me.
- Yeah, well, I wish you'd cured it.
When the attacks first reappeared,
what was going on in your life?
You had just rebuffed my affections.
When you actually passed out,
were you thinking about me, or...?
I walked into my house,
and the cleaning girl was...
crying on the phone
about her cousin...
who went off the road
in a Mexican bus wreck or something.
And I remember just...
feeling inside like
I wanted to fucking choke her...
because it was always something
with her.
Next thing I know:
When did it next happen?
My cousin Tony was up by the house.
He wanted to borrow some tools,
and they weren't there.
I was inside talking to Carmela
and started to feel that...
You know. And it passed.
- Your cousin was at your house?
- Yeah.
- Tony Uncle Whatever?
- Uncle Al.
And your maid was crying
about her cousin?
The other day at the golf course...
my cousin entered into that too.
- In what way?
- He hurt his foot.
You were so concerned
about your cousin's foot...
you collapsed on the golf course?
I worry about him.
He's a grown man, isn't he?
- Is he in danger of losing the foot or...?
- Fuck his foot! It's not his foot!
Forget the foot!
I worry about him. He's...
He's right out of fucking jail, okay?
All right, look.
The reason he went to prison...
is he got pinched hijacking
a truckload of Betamaxes in '86.
And they hooked him up on a RICO,
and he got 17 years.
And I was supposed to be there
the night of the jacking.
- I see.
- Oh, you see?
- Why didn't you go?
- I was jumped by a bunch of melanzanes.
They were trying to take my shoes.
I fought them off...
but they cut my fucking head open,
the fucking jigaboo...
cocksucking motherfuckers...
Okay, forget that.
Your cousin went to prison.
That's tremendous guilt to carry.
He went to Nam, I was 4-F.
And that's the way our friends look at it.
- And that's why you favor Tony Uncle Al?
- In those 17 years, I did so good.
He... He lost his wife, his daughter.
No wonder
you're having anxiety attacks.
Yeah.
Maybe if you came clean with him.
Yeah, well, yeah.
- You okay?
- Yeah.
Go on... Go on... Go on with
what you were saying.
- Are you having an attack now?
- No.
No, I had a huge lunch,
that's all. It's... It's gas.
What is it, Anthony?
- Anthony?
- All right, the night he got pinched...
I had a fucking panic attack, all right?
From my mother, goddamn it.
- I didn't even know what it was then!
- All right, just relax.
Focus on your breathing. Slowly.
It's not that, I just... I just need
some fucking Beano or something.
No, just, please, focus.
I've got my medical bag, in case.
Black guys. My ass.
I had a fight with my mother
and I had a fucking panic attack!
Okay, forget that for now.
Carmela was supposed to come over
with some fucking yarn...
for some booties
my mother was making Meadow.
She was late.
What the fuck? Why go into it?
Close your eyes.
Focus on your breathing.
- You want some water?
- She was carrying on.
I said to her, I said,
"Carmela loves you.
You know, you gotta understand it,
she's got a 3-month-old."
And she kept fucking... She kept going.
I... I started screaming at her. So I left.
I walked out the door, I went over
to the car, I opened the door:
- Cut my fucking head open.
- And your cousin doesn't know this?
No, I lied. What am I gonna tell him?
What am I gonna tell all of them?
I had a fight with my mother, I fainted?
That's why I missed the job.
Jesus fucking Christ!
That's a lot to get off your chest.
I thought I was smart, and that's why
I bumped him up and protect him.
Turns out I'm just a fucking robot
to my own pussy-ass weakness.
He's also a capable person.
You okay?
You know, sometimes what happens
in here is like taking a shit.
Yes, okay.
Although I prefer to think of it
more like childbirth.
Trust me...
it's like taking a shit.
- Hello?
- Mom? I'm engaged.
- What?
- Finn proposed. We're getting married.
Are you sure? Ca...
I mean, that's wonderful, honey.
I'm just so surprised.
He's gonna finish dental school,
though, right?
We're both finishing school.
We're not getting married...
till we have our degrees.
This is so exciting.
I can't wait
for you to meet his parents.
Well, we'll have to have a party.
He's using his graduation present
to buy me a ring.
That is so sweet.
I told him he shouldn't.
- Oh, my God, I'm gonna cry.
- Yeah.