The Sopranos (1999–2007): Season 5, Episode 7 - In Camelot - full transcript
Tony learns about his father through the man's mistress, while Chris' friend learns that there are habits more harmful to your health than heroin.
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Don't tell me we fight. I try to get along.
You can't just say
whatever comes to mind.
You were horrible.
That shit about the roadies...
You hit below the belt yourself, Jan,
and you started it.
No cheese for Sophia.
Those kids seem to like you, sort of.
I leave them completely free to do
whatever they want.
How else are they gonna learn
from their mistakes?
Anyway, thank you for having us over.
What's this you're watching?
Beethoven.
- Can we get a dog?
- Please?
I'll walk him,
and I'll pick up the poo and pee.
Pee? Right. Start with your underwear.
We had a dog, remember? Tippy?
He got worms though,
had to move to the country.
Tippy was gassed, Tony.
Daddy took him to the pound.
He used to drag his ass on the carpet
just to scratch himself.
- My mother went crazy.
- Gassed?
And he's so cynical about everything else.
Father told me
he took him to live on a farm.
That's what they always say. That same
farm must have 17 billion dogs on it.
Dogshit up to the rafters.
What? Oh, no, that's terrible.
- What? What's the matter?
- It's Cousin Josephine. Aunt Concett' died.
- What happened?
- They think it was a heart attack.
Uncle Zio found her on the couch
after Meet The Press.
We hereby commend Concetta to the Lord
embraced in His divine goodness.
- Let us go in peace. Amen.
- Amen.
Listen, as long as we're here
I was gonna go visit my father.
Like to join me?
Five hours, they let me out for these funerals.
I gotta spend it bein' maudlin?
It's a beautiful day.
I thought you might wanna pay your respects
to your brother.
By crying to a chunk of marble?
I can pay my respects from the after-party.
After-party?
It's those uptake inhibitors. We were sceptical
at first, then his mood improved.
His memory, too.
Excuse me.
Excuse me. Hi.
- Oh, hello.
- You knew my mother?
You're Anthony. Oh, my God.
- Do I know you?
- Oh, no.
- No, no, you're not annoying me.
- No, no... Do we know each other?
Oh, we met once.
I was a friend of your father's.
You're the lady from Bamberger's...
from the fur department.
- Fran Felstein.
- Tony.
How you doin'?
So what, you... You come visit?
I miss your father sometimes. It's...
It's foolish.
Nah, don't say that.
No, I was sorry to hear about your mother.
At least she didn't suffer.
She made all of us suffer instead.
Oh, it was a joke. She made all of us suffer.
Believe me,
I heard the stories from your dad.
You must forgive me.
My hearing... the last few years...
How about a hearin' aid?
They're little now. You can't see 'em.
I'm too vain. Anyway...
Johnny was very proud of you.
You were very special to him.
I'm sure you were too.
Johnny told me if I ever needed anything
I should always call his son.
What do you need?
Not a thing.
Fran Felstein?
- That was class.
- She's got great legs for an old broad.
I was in love with that woman.
She was the reason I never married.
I wanted to propose.
- I had the ring all picked out.
- So what? She turned you down?
I hesitated. How could I bring
this life we live on a woman?
Anyway,
she took it as a sign I wasn't interested.
Then one night we were all at the 500 Club
to see Enzo Stuarti. Your father shows up.
Sy Devore suit, two-inch lapel - that was that.
She never knew my feelings. What could I do?
For years, I suffered in silence.
Mario, did you bring your guitar?
Not to this.
- Angie, come on. Sing us a song.
- You sing, Junior.
Nobody wants to hear me.
Mario, remember?
Thanks, my name's JT.
I'm an alcoholic and an addict.
Hi, JT.
I'm also a TV writer which, by default,
makes me a douche bag,
but you would've figured that out
for yourselves.
About 15 years ago,
I moved from Jersey to Hollywood
broke into the biz.
It was a dream come true. I had money,
I had the Beemer, the actress girlfriend.
Best of all, I had all the flake I needed
to keep me churning out that snappy dialogue.
Drugs, alcohol - that shit practically
comes with the Writers' Guild card.
Anyway,
before too long, I discovered heroin.
Then things really started to fall apart.
It got so bad
that I blew a deadline on a Nash Bridges.
I got my ass fired. I didn't work for 18 months.
By the grace of God, I got myself
into a rehab programme in Pennsylvania
and, with the help of some good friends
that I made there, I got through it.
Chris, where are you?
There's my man Chris, everybody.
Anyway, I wanna talk a little bit about
takin' a moral inventory.
So we talked for, like, an hour.
Well, it turns out that they had a thing,
her and my old man. Right up till he died.
He got from this woman
what he couldn't get at home.
Support...
You know, love.
A smile when you walk in the fuckin' door.
Do you think that justifies his infidelity?
She drove him into that woman's arms,
my mother. To all his women.
I'll tell you one thing.
Over the years he was rottin' in that grave
I can't remember once
my mother goin' to visit him.
But this lady, Fran...
It's possible your mother found it very painful.
- Oh, poor her.
- What was it like sitting there with Fran?
A little weird at first...
Here I am comforting my father's mistress.
My mother's lyin' there, dead.
- Are you attracted to her?
- She's old enough to be my mother!
Oh, Jesus Christ, it's an expression.
Don't cream yourself.
I did not want to fuck my mother!
You should've seen her in her hairnet.
This conversation'd be over in two seconds.
So, I figured, why not move back to Jersey?
Clean slate. It's better.
My new agent? Next week,
he's got me set up to meet Dick Wolf's guy.
I seen Dick Wolf at Rao's one night.
Guy's got his own limo.
That Law And Order money?
The guy could have his own battleship.
But, enough of my shit. How are you doin'?
Good, you know.
Workin' the programme.
I had some fuckin' wine, all right?
Is that what you wanna hear?
- Christopher, when was this?
- I don't know. My fianc?e was in a car crash.
I didn't even like it.
I went to a meeting the next day.
But no slip since then?
I've been sober and I've been high.
Sober's better.
- You know you can call me any time?
- What? You got a date?
I gotta meet somebody, a friend.
- Go ahead, I'll get this.
- Thanks, bro.
Listen, call me. I'm serious.
- Harold Melvoin.
- Mel, it's me.
- Corrado, what's up?
- There's a funeral I need to attend.
I want you to call the feds.
Vincent Patronella.
Is he a relative? You know the rules.
He's my niece's godfather. I think I met him
at a barbecue for the bicentennial.
All they can say is no.
Your father used to bring me flowers
all the time - flowers and lingerie.
I'm making chicken,
Cuban style with black beans.
What's this?
Ketchup? Sure. If you want.
No, the kid and the dog.
My son, Bruce.
He married an Israeli girl.
He's a food service director with El Al.
- No, no, no, the dog.
- Oh, Freckles?
- He was a gift from your dad.
- What?
Aw, when?
Oh, this is my fuckin' dog!
Excuse me, I'm sorry. This was my dog!
His name was Tippy!
Your dad never said.
I don't fuckin' believe this.
My mother made him give the dog away.
Well, Bruce loved him.
He had him for almost ten years,
till he moved to Tel Aviv.
Then I had to put him to sleep.
Those are the pictures, on the coffee table.
The slippers were your dad's, too.
Look at this. The two of you.
He used to remind me of Victor Mature.
Outside the Latin Quarter.
- Holy shit, look at Hesh. George Gershwin.
- He was a whoremaster, and cheap.
He screwed me out of my retirement money.
Against your dad's wishes, by the way.
- What are you talkin' about?
- Don't get me started.
- Come on, what happened?
- Your dad owned a racetrack.
With the midget auto racing.
The Chickamauga Raceway
over in New Egypt.
Him, Herman, some other guy...
- Phil something. With the hair, from New York.
- Leotardo.
My father cut him in to pay off a poker debt.
Johnny always told me
his piece would go to me.
Couldn't put me in his will, obviously.
When he passed, your dad...
I called Hesh.
He sent me 500 bucks.
That's it?
I'm sorry.
Jesus Christ, I wish you'd called me.
- Bruce sends me money occasionally.
- That's not the point. It's my father's wishes.
Look, forget it. Seriously, I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have even brought it up.
Listen, after we eat, you wanna take a ride?
So I saw my Uncle Jun'.
- He says to say hello.
- Junior?
Jesus. How's he doing?
I don't know if you know it,
but he was always a little hot for you.
He was practically a stalker.
- He said he suffered in silence.
- Suffered in silence?
He used to skulk outside my building, all hours.
Weird phone calls. I always had a hunch
he told Livia about me and Johnny.
Jesus Christ.
She was a handsome woman, your mother.
Not sexy, exactly, but statuesque.
Little nip?
- What is it?
- One for the road, honey.
And this looks like road to me.
R?my Martin, VSOP.
They can't be making much,
but if I know Hesh
him and Phil got something going on here.
So, tell me about your women.
Your wife, what's she like?
I don't know. What's to tell?
Good woman, good mother.
Marriage hit the rocks, that's all.
What are you gonna do?
How about your girlfriend?
She's an art dealer. Very sophisticated.
Dark hair, dark eyes. She's Latin.
You know, from Spain.
That's it.
Oh, man, I'm so glad you called.
I really needed this.
- So?
- So, what?
There's nothing you wanna talk about?
I was honest with you the other night.
- You're telling me you're not using?
- What?
You ran out of IHOP like you were on fire
and jonesing like a motherfucker.
I was going with a girl to the track.
The Meadowlands.
I didn't wanna miss the last race.
I am totally clean and sober.
Jesus Christ.
I was positive you fucking slipped.
Thank you, man. I appreciate your concern.
I could have saved you a trip.
I'll take your action.
You take a dime each
on the Yankees and St. Louis?
Whoa, high roller.
I just got a three grand residual
on a That's Life episode.
What, that fake guinea-fest with Paul Sorvino?
That was totally unrealistic.
So dusty here.
- That silk?
- It ain't Kleenex. It's linen.
You know, you're very...
I don't know, you got a lot of class.
Just like your girlfriend.
He told me to look out for her
so I sent her some money. No one else did.
- So you keep his end for yourself?
I should give it to some trollop?
Besides, I thought I had it coming.
With Leotardo in the can,
who's been running that place, huh?
Collecting the rent, filing the taxes, all that?
What about my share?
All those years, I never saw a dime.
You're my father's friend, Hesh. My friend!
- So how come I never see you?
- What?
I see you. I'm fucking busy.
Never too busy to call me at two am
to hear your problems.
One time, that happened.
My therapist was on vacation.
You want his end, kid, you got it. It's
25 per cent. The closing is not for two weeks.
And I would appreciate it if you tell Leotardo
he should assume part of that burden.
Well, despite how you feel,
my father loved this woman.
She's not such a bad person,
but I don't know.
Something about her
always rubbed me the wrong way.
- Maybe cos she was rubbing him and not you.
- How long you know me, bub, huh?
She's a little pale for my taste.
Mr Patronella was last week.
This is a different one.
Yes, I'm aware
he's been to two funerals in a month.
Well, people die, Counselor.
The deceased in question now, Mrs Crilley,
was the sister of Mr Soprano's cousin.
By marriage.
So she's not a blood relative per se.
For God's sake,
the man wants to pay his respects.
Well, perhaps my next call should be
to Judge Runions.
Five hours, it's not a Hawaiian vacation.
He'll attend the church service
then pay his respects to the family.
Thank you, Counselor. We appreciate it.
You're worth every fucking cent!
They're gonna have
Scottish bagpipes at the funeral.
It should be interesting.
Don Provolone. See that fucking game?
- Diet Coke and whatever he's having.
- Ginger ale?
- Remind me to send Jeter a dozen roses.
- You wanna parlay it?
I was thinking I'd check out
that Indian casino, play some poker.
You want in a real game, I'll hook you up.
High stakes, exclusive clientele.
- David Lee Roth.
- I'll tell you, man.
Playing cards, games of chance,
I never really dug it before.
I was never that good at math. But there's
something about that excitement that's so...
I don't know.
What is wrong? I win a bet,
you look like you're gonna cry.
I fucked up again.
My super came by this morning
to fucking caulk around the toilet.
- He had some weed.
- You have got to call someone
before you use, not after.
I know, I know. I just wanted to see
if I could get high like a normal person.
You're not normal. Neither of us are.
On top of that,
you ask me to meet you at a bar?
Come here, you maniac.
625K for the track plus all that land? That's it?
Zoning restrictions.
We're lucky we got a buyer at all.
Here's what I propose...
Tony gets 150.
25 per cent comes from you,
the other 75 per cent of that comes from Hesh.
That's 40 grand.
You gotta be fucking kidding me, John.
Am I smiling?
You got some balls, kid, I'll give you that.
- You'll give me what I tell you to.
- Whoa.
- Take it easy.
- Fuck that!
This ain't the '70s. And I'm not a kid.
- Relax, it's an expression.
- Here's another one.
You got five days to give me my money.
Come on.
- That was out of line.
- Philly, he's a boss.
Jersey? Come on, huh?
Well, I talked to Phil and Hesh
about the racetrack.
How bad did they bullshit you?
Actually, we straightened it all out.
So when the sale goes through,
you're looking at a nice piece of change.
You're kidding?
Hey, that's wonderful.
I wanted to show you something.
You were admiring my handkerchief.
Check out the initials.
JFK? Holy shit! This was his?
You know, I have a hat of his.
A captain's hat I bought at an auction.
A lot of the friends don't like him,
you know, Ruby and all that shit.
- But, fuck, I was in grammar school.
- That's my lipstick.
We had a little thing.
- When he was president?
- March '61.
Right before the Bay of Pigs.
I was at the Copa with a girlfriend.
I'm wearing a new sable
and we meet Lem Billings.
Now, Lem is a school friend of Jack's
from Choate, but of course we had no idea.
He insists that we join him
for some affair at the Pierre Hotel.
He won't take no.
He has a limo, we figure, "What the hell?"
We go over and he tells us
he's taking us to the presidential suite.
So we get up, out of the elevator.
We go in the suite.
It is crawling with models, celebrities.
Peter Lawford, Sinatra.
- Jackie Gleason.
- No shit!
I'm looking around
and I glance across the room
and, suddenly, I am locking eyes
with John Fitzgerald Kennedy.
Yeah, he comes over.
He is a perfect gentleman.
He takes my coat,
he brings me a cocktail, introduces me around.
Finally, at the end of the night, and get this.
In the interests of national security, he says
he needs me to stay.
Since I'm wearing a sable,
he needs to personally interview me.
Make sure I'm not working for the Russians.
- He said that?
- Some line, huh?
- What was he like?
- Wonderful.
- So were you two an item?
- No. He called.
But after all, this man was the leader
of the free world. I mean, you know...
One weekend, I was supposed
to go down to DC, stay at the Ritz-Carlton.
Last minute, emergency meeting.
- Steel workers are going on strike.
- So it was just that one time?
You know, after the Bay of Pigs,
he was probably pretty busy.
Yeah, I knew there were others.
Judy Campbell and Marilyn, of course.
We had something special, though.
Crazy passion.
That was something
your mother never understood.
When you're married to a powerful man
you damn well better make him feel powerful.
My mother?
Please.
I saw a picture of Livia on New Year's Eve.
She was dressed like a refugee.
I think I'm going to skip the coffee.
I got a meeting in the city.
Are you sure?
Look...
Consider this an advance.
Get your phone turned on
and pay your rent.
Your dad would be so proud.
He raised a real gentleman.
You trying to buy this pot?
800 and you'll know.
What the fuck.
Cowboys and three little Indians.
Fuck me!
I got a lot of big people
coming next week.
So when you write on TV, what do they have -
like one guy writes the words
for Dylan McDermott
and one guy writes
for Nicholson's girlfriend?
- You write it all yourself.
- Oh, interesting.
So how you doing? You wanna take off?
I'm getting killed here.
I'm gonna go. I'm fucking shot.
- I'll call you tomorrow. You wanna work out?
- Sure, yeah, whatever.
Four of clubs to Joe Hollywood,
jack for the car-wash king.
Ten for Mr Vito.
Show Valentina you love her!
They were out of the Citrucel.
- Where are you going?
- Gotta order some flowers.
Sal from the dry-cleaner, his kid died.
Drowned in a Jacuzzi.
Seven years old, you believe it?
Fucking tragedy.
- Harold Melvoin.
- It's me. I got another funeral. A kid.
His father does my shirts.
- It has to be a relative.
- It is a relative, goddamn it!
My old man came over
with his great-great-grandfather.
- Guy had a club foot.
- Isn't that rather tenuous?
The whole village of Avellino
settled in this area. We gotta be related.
- Corrado...
- Corrado, my balls!
I've gotta get out of here.
I'm going stir-crazy.
7th Street coming out.
Holy shit. You're still here?
- Called you all day.
- We're in a hand here.
- What do you wanna do?
- Fold.
Here, fuck it. I'm all in.
- Call.
- Pair of tens.
Flush. Caught it on the river.
Motherfucking...
fuck!
How bad?
- He owes the house 57.
- Thousand?
- What are you? Fucking crazy?
- Define crazy.
I'm good for it. I'm up for this Dick Wolf thing.
If I get on staff, it's a month's salary.
Well, how about this fucking month?
You think you could spot me for a while?
I got some child support, too.
I'll cover this, give you three grand
for incidentals. That's 60,000 altogether.
- I've only been up two days. I can still add.
- Good. Then add two points every week
- till I'm paid in full.
- You're charging me vig?
On top of the principal. It's compounded if
you're late. That's 1200 one week from today.
Don't give me that look.
This is your problem.
I will not fucking enable you.
There he is! Philly!
- Phil, where you going?
- I gotta meet John at the restaurant.
You fucking cocksucker!
Where you gonna go, huh?
Where you gonna go?
Motherfucker!
Jesus Christ. Mister, you OK in there?
- Oh, my neck!
- You all right?
You run from me, you cocksucker?
Where's my fucking money?
I'll get it. I'll get it. My neck, Tony.
- What? Do you think I'm an asshole?
- No.
- I can't hear you.
- No, no. Please, Tony.
You got 24 hours.
I called 911. They're on their way.
He's all right.
Oh, my God.
- Oh, my baby.
- Take her upstairs, Andy.
My baby...
She should take one of those
tranquillizers her mother gave her.
- We should go.
- Relax, we just got here.
Chicken's nice and spicy, huh?
I know you're in there.
You're casting a shadow over the peephole.
What? Are you ducking me?
I thought you were this girl.
She's a pain in the ass.
What the fuck? Where you been?
Working, man. I got those TV pitch meetings.
- I was gonna call you.
- Yeah, so why didn't you?
All right, look. You want the truth?
I was away. I went to AC.
- Where's my money?
- I don't have it yet.
But you went to AC.
I have a meeting next week with Rene Balcer.
Dick Wolf's right-hand guy. He likes my stuff.
He told my agent. I'm gonna be on staff.
I got out of that business
cos people fuck you over.
Jon Favreau?
Faggot cocksucker tried to steal my ideas.
I swear on all that's holy.
I'll have your money next week.
That wasn't the deal! I'll be back tomorrow.
Don't make me a jerkoff.
Damn, I'm happy. Get a load of these.
My new kicks. Bottega Veneta,
marked down to only 600.
- Thought you were paying your phone bill.
- Oh, I should've, I know.
But it's been so long
since I've been able to treat myself.
Oh, thanks.
So, turns out my Uncle Zio's going downhill.
The day we met, I told you we were at the
cemetery to bury his wife, my Aunt Concetta.
70 years, they were together.
Poor guy's taking it very hard.
Oh! My knight in shining armour!
So?
- Good morning to you, too.
- You got it?
Jesus, you are a fucking trip.
I'm JT by the way.
What is this? Pulp Fiction?
Am I supposed to be afraid?
I don't know. I didn't see it.
You're really being a prick.
I told you, I need more time.
- I don't have the money.
- Get it.
You know me. What could you do to me
that I haven't already been through?
I'm positive we'll think of something.
And 66 years after taking those sacred vows,
"till death do us part",
Concetta left him and went home to God.
In the two weeks that followed,
Nicolo struggled without her,
finally succumbing to irredeemable loss.
The enormity of his grief
can hardly be imagined.
How much they went through together -
seeing their children grow
and looking joyfully on
as their grandchildren had children.
Sickness and health,
good times and bad
but through it all, one thing remained constant.
They had each other.
It was Nicolo's love for Concetta
that made him leave this earth
a mere 15 days after she left him.
We take comfort
knowing they're together again,
seated at the foot of our Lord.
Let us join together in prayer.
Hail, Mary, full of Grace,
the Lord is with Thee.
Blessed art Thou among women
and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death, amen.
- Junior, what's the matter?
- Oh, this fucking shit!
What's the point?
- Shh, Uncle Junior.
- I can't take it any more!
You need to lower your voice. Come on.
And forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
It's a fucking Emmy.
It's gold-plated.
Then melt it down, man.
Look, I told you $15.
Fuck, man, come on!
This is like, huge, this shit.
If you had an Oscar,
maybe I could give you something.
An Academy Award. But TV?
- What else you got?
- I don't know.
I got a laptop in my car.
Yeah, OK, cool. I'll check that out.
From your friend. All 1200.
- He gave you a hard time?
- Hardest thing was keeping him awake.
- He's hitting the vein. Nodding out.
- Son of a fucking bitch.
Cheers.
I'm grilling us some filet mignon.
And you, take a load off.
This is the money
from the closing of the racetrack.
- It's 150 grand.
- That's great.
- How's your pal, Hesh?
- Good.
I remember once,
your dad and I drove down the shore.
Hesh had rented a place at Point Pleasant.
It was right before Labor Day.
Actually, it was a couple of months
before he died. We stopped at a liquor store.
He had to pee, I needed some cigarettes.
And anyway,
the man behind the counter was blind.
- Your dad looks at him...
- Wait a minute.
- This is after my dad got sick?
- Yeah.
My dad caught emphysema
and you kept smoking?
- He didn't mind.
- He could barely breathe.
We had the oxygen tent set up right
in the house. Jesus, even my mother quit.
I offered to stop. He didn't want me to.
He was fine with it, really.
All right, whatever. Finish your story.
It was dumb. Your dad got the guy
to give us some champagne.
Water chestnuts
wrapped in bacon.
And dip them in the duck sauce.
All right.
Delicious.
So, what's in the bag?
Yeah, I wanted to show you this.
It's the hat I told you about.
- JFK's.
- Oh, my goodness.
Look at this.
- May I?
- Yeah
I met with the Dick Wolf guy.
They hired some kid from Yale.
Plus, now the money I owe you
my ex-fucking-wife...
How many times have you shot up?
Five, six.
I thought I had it under control. I lost it.
You stupid fuck.
- You were doing so good. Now you fucked up.
- Where do you get the right?
We're in the programme.
Why didn't you call your sponsor?
- I couldn't get him.
- So why didn't you call me?
Yeah, but I don't fucking live with my mistress.
I mean, his fucking slippers?
Go on.
Well, when I left there, I...
started thinking about it.
When I was, I don't know, 16 years old -
my son's age -
I came home from school
to find a note from my Aunt Quin.
My mother had been pregnant
with another kid after my sister Barbara.
Change-of-life baby, they called it and...
Well, she started bleeding.
I was supposed get my father
over there ASAP.
I called every number I had.
I left messages all over town.
And finally, that night, about ten o'clock,
he called me back.
- Hello?
- Anthony, what's the matter?
Ma's in the hospital.
I think she was bleeding. The baby.
Jesus Christ.
Oh, shit!
- OK, pal.
- The lamb chops are gonna be overcooked.
I'm tied up, but I'm gonna get over
to the hospital right away.
He came and got me the next morning.
We went over to the hospital,
walked into her room.
- You're OK, baby, you're OK.
- No, you're OK!
Your life is just so wonderful and OK!
Lee...
Where were you last night?
I was at the Yankee game.
You were with that whore.
- What do you take me for? An idiot?
- No, Lee, that's not true!
I picked up Anthony from school,
we went to the game!
- Nicky gave us the tickets.
- You're a goddam liar.
I swear to God, Lee, the car broke down!
The timing belt!
We had to stay at Cousin Jimmy's.
Madonn', when we got home
and saw that note, I was worried sick.
Ask Anthony, you don't believe me.
Where were you last night, Anthony?
We were at Cousin Jimmy's, Ma.
She could've fucking died
from a miscarriage.
- Fuck her.
- Was there any blame on his part?
This man you emulate?
The lies? The betrayals with other women?
Listen to me.
This is very important. Your mother
had her faults, but after all this time
what should we do with the old woman?
Have an auto-da-f??
Burn her at the stake?
You need to forgive her and move on.
She made my father give my dog away.
I thought your father was a big, tough guy.
Probably didn't want to hear her bullshit
any more.
He gave my dog away
to his girlfriend's kid. Big deal.
If it was up to her,
she woulda had it killed.
All right, thanks.
Book value's 17 grand.
I'll knock that off the principal.
I fucking loved this car.
So you'll get another one.
Is that your sponsor?
I'll see you when you get out of rehab.
We'll figure out the rest of the payments.
You can do this, man. I have faith in you.
There's no chemical solution
to a spiritual problem.
It could've been another TIA. It's hard to tell.
Was any of this
accompanied by a lapse in memory?
I don't know.
Had you brought him earlier
I might have more answers.
That medicine stopped working.
I took more and it didn't do shit.
- I'm the walking dead.
- Medication's like cooking.
We may need to adjust the ingredients.
Who gives a shit? I'm so fucking blue.
What do you expect?
All you do is go to funerals all the time.
I'm trapped. What's the goddamn point?
Goddamn house arrest.
My life is only death.
I'm living in a grave.
I beat prison and for what?
I have no children.
Would somebody please explain this?
So, Hesh tells me you met your dad's goomah.
You had to see this woman in her prime.
- Nice, huh?
- Nice?
- She was JFK's girlfriend for three years.
- No shit!
- I remember hearing about her.
- Fucking knockout. Beautiful, classy.
JFK, huh? How do you like that?
He had her up to the White House
on the weekends, when his wife was away.
This woman was like a... like a princess.
I'll tell you what.
For a while there, Jackie Kennedy
thought the marriage was over.
---
Don't tell me we fight. I try to get along.
You can't just say
whatever comes to mind.
You were horrible.
That shit about the roadies...
You hit below the belt yourself, Jan,
and you started it.
No cheese for Sophia.
Those kids seem to like you, sort of.
I leave them completely free to do
whatever they want.
How else are they gonna learn
from their mistakes?
Anyway, thank you for having us over.
What's this you're watching?
Beethoven.
- Can we get a dog?
- Please?
I'll walk him,
and I'll pick up the poo and pee.
Pee? Right. Start with your underwear.
We had a dog, remember? Tippy?
He got worms though,
had to move to the country.
Tippy was gassed, Tony.
Daddy took him to the pound.
He used to drag his ass on the carpet
just to scratch himself.
- My mother went crazy.
- Gassed?
And he's so cynical about everything else.
Father told me
he took him to live on a farm.
That's what they always say. That same
farm must have 17 billion dogs on it.
Dogshit up to the rafters.
What? Oh, no, that's terrible.
- What? What's the matter?
- It's Cousin Josephine. Aunt Concett' died.
- What happened?
- They think it was a heart attack.
Uncle Zio found her on the couch
after Meet The Press.
We hereby commend Concetta to the Lord
embraced in His divine goodness.
- Let us go in peace. Amen.
- Amen.
Listen, as long as we're here
I was gonna go visit my father.
Like to join me?
Five hours, they let me out for these funerals.
I gotta spend it bein' maudlin?
It's a beautiful day.
I thought you might wanna pay your respects
to your brother.
By crying to a chunk of marble?
I can pay my respects from the after-party.
After-party?
It's those uptake inhibitors. We were sceptical
at first, then his mood improved.
His memory, too.
Excuse me.
Excuse me. Hi.
- Oh, hello.
- You knew my mother?
You're Anthony. Oh, my God.
- Do I know you?
- Oh, no.
- No, no, you're not annoying me.
- No, no... Do we know each other?
Oh, we met once.
I was a friend of your father's.
You're the lady from Bamberger's...
from the fur department.
- Fran Felstein.
- Tony.
How you doin'?
So what, you... You come visit?
I miss your father sometimes. It's...
It's foolish.
Nah, don't say that.
No, I was sorry to hear about your mother.
At least she didn't suffer.
She made all of us suffer instead.
Oh, it was a joke. She made all of us suffer.
Believe me,
I heard the stories from your dad.
You must forgive me.
My hearing... the last few years...
How about a hearin' aid?
They're little now. You can't see 'em.
I'm too vain. Anyway...
Johnny was very proud of you.
You were very special to him.
I'm sure you were too.
Johnny told me if I ever needed anything
I should always call his son.
What do you need?
Not a thing.
Fran Felstein?
- That was class.
- She's got great legs for an old broad.
I was in love with that woman.
She was the reason I never married.
I wanted to propose.
- I had the ring all picked out.
- So what? She turned you down?
I hesitated. How could I bring
this life we live on a woman?
Anyway,
she took it as a sign I wasn't interested.
Then one night we were all at the 500 Club
to see Enzo Stuarti. Your father shows up.
Sy Devore suit, two-inch lapel - that was that.
She never knew my feelings. What could I do?
For years, I suffered in silence.
Mario, did you bring your guitar?
Not to this.
- Angie, come on. Sing us a song.
- You sing, Junior.
Nobody wants to hear me.
Mario, remember?
Thanks, my name's JT.
I'm an alcoholic and an addict.
Hi, JT.
I'm also a TV writer which, by default,
makes me a douche bag,
but you would've figured that out
for yourselves.
About 15 years ago,
I moved from Jersey to Hollywood
broke into the biz.
It was a dream come true. I had money,
I had the Beemer, the actress girlfriend.
Best of all, I had all the flake I needed
to keep me churning out that snappy dialogue.
Drugs, alcohol - that shit practically
comes with the Writers' Guild card.
Anyway,
before too long, I discovered heroin.
Then things really started to fall apart.
It got so bad
that I blew a deadline on a Nash Bridges.
I got my ass fired. I didn't work for 18 months.
By the grace of God, I got myself
into a rehab programme in Pennsylvania
and, with the help of some good friends
that I made there, I got through it.
Chris, where are you?
There's my man Chris, everybody.
Anyway, I wanna talk a little bit about
takin' a moral inventory.
So we talked for, like, an hour.
Well, it turns out that they had a thing,
her and my old man. Right up till he died.
He got from this woman
what he couldn't get at home.
Support...
You know, love.
A smile when you walk in the fuckin' door.
Do you think that justifies his infidelity?
She drove him into that woman's arms,
my mother. To all his women.
I'll tell you one thing.
Over the years he was rottin' in that grave
I can't remember once
my mother goin' to visit him.
But this lady, Fran...
It's possible your mother found it very painful.
- Oh, poor her.
- What was it like sitting there with Fran?
A little weird at first...
Here I am comforting my father's mistress.
My mother's lyin' there, dead.
- Are you attracted to her?
- She's old enough to be my mother!
Oh, Jesus Christ, it's an expression.
Don't cream yourself.
I did not want to fuck my mother!
You should've seen her in her hairnet.
This conversation'd be over in two seconds.
So, I figured, why not move back to Jersey?
Clean slate. It's better.
My new agent? Next week,
he's got me set up to meet Dick Wolf's guy.
I seen Dick Wolf at Rao's one night.
Guy's got his own limo.
That Law And Order money?
The guy could have his own battleship.
But, enough of my shit. How are you doin'?
Good, you know.
Workin' the programme.
I had some fuckin' wine, all right?
Is that what you wanna hear?
- Christopher, when was this?
- I don't know. My fianc?e was in a car crash.
I didn't even like it.
I went to a meeting the next day.
But no slip since then?
I've been sober and I've been high.
Sober's better.
- You know you can call me any time?
- What? You got a date?
I gotta meet somebody, a friend.
- Go ahead, I'll get this.
- Thanks, bro.
Listen, call me. I'm serious.
- Harold Melvoin.
- Mel, it's me.
- Corrado, what's up?
- There's a funeral I need to attend.
I want you to call the feds.
Vincent Patronella.
Is he a relative? You know the rules.
He's my niece's godfather. I think I met him
at a barbecue for the bicentennial.
All they can say is no.
Your father used to bring me flowers
all the time - flowers and lingerie.
I'm making chicken,
Cuban style with black beans.
What's this?
Ketchup? Sure. If you want.
No, the kid and the dog.
My son, Bruce.
He married an Israeli girl.
He's a food service director with El Al.
- No, no, no, the dog.
- Oh, Freckles?
- He was a gift from your dad.
- What?
Aw, when?
Oh, this is my fuckin' dog!
Excuse me, I'm sorry. This was my dog!
His name was Tippy!
Your dad never said.
I don't fuckin' believe this.
My mother made him give the dog away.
Well, Bruce loved him.
He had him for almost ten years,
till he moved to Tel Aviv.
Then I had to put him to sleep.
Those are the pictures, on the coffee table.
The slippers were your dad's, too.
Look at this. The two of you.
He used to remind me of Victor Mature.
Outside the Latin Quarter.
- Holy shit, look at Hesh. George Gershwin.
- He was a whoremaster, and cheap.
He screwed me out of my retirement money.
Against your dad's wishes, by the way.
- What are you talkin' about?
- Don't get me started.
- Come on, what happened?
- Your dad owned a racetrack.
With the midget auto racing.
The Chickamauga Raceway
over in New Egypt.
Him, Herman, some other guy...
- Phil something. With the hair, from New York.
- Leotardo.
My father cut him in to pay off a poker debt.
Johnny always told me
his piece would go to me.
Couldn't put me in his will, obviously.
When he passed, your dad...
I called Hesh.
He sent me 500 bucks.
That's it?
I'm sorry.
Jesus Christ, I wish you'd called me.
- Bruce sends me money occasionally.
- That's not the point. It's my father's wishes.
Look, forget it. Seriously, I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have even brought it up.
Listen, after we eat, you wanna take a ride?
So I saw my Uncle Jun'.
- He says to say hello.
- Junior?
Jesus. How's he doing?
I don't know if you know it,
but he was always a little hot for you.
He was practically a stalker.
- He said he suffered in silence.
- Suffered in silence?
He used to skulk outside my building, all hours.
Weird phone calls. I always had a hunch
he told Livia about me and Johnny.
Jesus Christ.
She was a handsome woman, your mother.
Not sexy, exactly, but statuesque.
Little nip?
- What is it?
- One for the road, honey.
And this looks like road to me.
R?my Martin, VSOP.
They can't be making much,
but if I know Hesh
him and Phil got something going on here.
So, tell me about your women.
Your wife, what's she like?
I don't know. What's to tell?
Good woman, good mother.
Marriage hit the rocks, that's all.
What are you gonna do?
How about your girlfriend?
She's an art dealer. Very sophisticated.
Dark hair, dark eyes. She's Latin.
You know, from Spain.
That's it.
Oh, man, I'm so glad you called.
I really needed this.
- So?
- So, what?
There's nothing you wanna talk about?
I was honest with you the other night.
- You're telling me you're not using?
- What?
You ran out of IHOP like you were on fire
and jonesing like a motherfucker.
I was going with a girl to the track.
The Meadowlands.
I didn't wanna miss the last race.
I am totally clean and sober.
Jesus Christ.
I was positive you fucking slipped.
Thank you, man. I appreciate your concern.
I could have saved you a trip.
I'll take your action.
You take a dime each
on the Yankees and St. Louis?
Whoa, high roller.
I just got a three grand residual
on a That's Life episode.
What, that fake guinea-fest with Paul Sorvino?
That was totally unrealistic.
So dusty here.
- That silk?
- It ain't Kleenex. It's linen.
You know, you're very...
I don't know, you got a lot of class.
Just like your girlfriend.
He told me to look out for her
so I sent her some money. No one else did.
- So you keep his end for yourself?
I should give it to some trollop?
Besides, I thought I had it coming.
With Leotardo in the can,
who's been running that place, huh?
Collecting the rent, filing the taxes, all that?
What about my share?
All those years, I never saw a dime.
You're my father's friend, Hesh. My friend!
- So how come I never see you?
- What?
I see you. I'm fucking busy.
Never too busy to call me at two am
to hear your problems.
One time, that happened.
My therapist was on vacation.
You want his end, kid, you got it. It's
25 per cent. The closing is not for two weeks.
And I would appreciate it if you tell Leotardo
he should assume part of that burden.
Well, despite how you feel,
my father loved this woman.
She's not such a bad person,
but I don't know.
Something about her
always rubbed me the wrong way.
- Maybe cos she was rubbing him and not you.
- How long you know me, bub, huh?
She's a little pale for my taste.
Mr Patronella was last week.
This is a different one.
Yes, I'm aware
he's been to two funerals in a month.
Well, people die, Counselor.
The deceased in question now, Mrs Crilley,
was the sister of Mr Soprano's cousin.
By marriage.
So she's not a blood relative per se.
For God's sake,
the man wants to pay his respects.
Well, perhaps my next call should be
to Judge Runions.
Five hours, it's not a Hawaiian vacation.
He'll attend the church service
then pay his respects to the family.
Thank you, Counselor. We appreciate it.
You're worth every fucking cent!
They're gonna have
Scottish bagpipes at the funeral.
It should be interesting.
Don Provolone. See that fucking game?
- Diet Coke and whatever he's having.
- Ginger ale?
- Remind me to send Jeter a dozen roses.
- You wanna parlay it?
I was thinking I'd check out
that Indian casino, play some poker.
You want in a real game, I'll hook you up.
High stakes, exclusive clientele.
- David Lee Roth.
- I'll tell you, man.
Playing cards, games of chance,
I never really dug it before.
I was never that good at math. But there's
something about that excitement that's so...
I don't know.
What is wrong? I win a bet,
you look like you're gonna cry.
I fucked up again.
My super came by this morning
to fucking caulk around the toilet.
- He had some weed.
- You have got to call someone
before you use, not after.
I know, I know. I just wanted to see
if I could get high like a normal person.
You're not normal. Neither of us are.
On top of that,
you ask me to meet you at a bar?
Come here, you maniac.
625K for the track plus all that land? That's it?
Zoning restrictions.
We're lucky we got a buyer at all.
Here's what I propose...
Tony gets 150.
25 per cent comes from you,
the other 75 per cent of that comes from Hesh.
That's 40 grand.
You gotta be fucking kidding me, John.
Am I smiling?
You got some balls, kid, I'll give you that.
- You'll give me what I tell you to.
- Whoa.
- Take it easy.
- Fuck that!
This ain't the '70s. And I'm not a kid.
- Relax, it's an expression.
- Here's another one.
You got five days to give me my money.
Come on.
- That was out of line.
- Philly, he's a boss.
Jersey? Come on, huh?
Well, I talked to Phil and Hesh
about the racetrack.
How bad did they bullshit you?
Actually, we straightened it all out.
So when the sale goes through,
you're looking at a nice piece of change.
You're kidding?
Hey, that's wonderful.
I wanted to show you something.
You were admiring my handkerchief.
Check out the initials.
JFK? Holy shit! This was his?
You know, I have a hat of his.
A captain's hat I bought at an auction.
A lot of the friends don't like him,
you know, Ruby and all that shit.
- But, fuck, I was in grammar school.
- That's my lipstick.
We had a little thing.
- When he was president?
- March '61.
Right before the Bay of Pigs.
I was at the Copa with a girlfriend.
I'm wearing a new sable
and we meet Lem Billings.
Now, Lem is a school friend of Jack's
from Choate, but of course we had no idea.
He insists that we join him
for some affair at the Pierre Hotel.
He won't take no.
He has a limo, we figure, "What the hell?"
We go over and he tells us
he's taking us to the presidential suite.
So we get up, out of the elevator.
We go in the suite.
It is crawling with models, celebrities.
Peter Lawford, Sinatra.
- Jackie Gleason.
- No shit!
I'm looking around
and I glance across the room
and, suddenly, I am locking eyes
with John Fitzgerald Kennedy.
Yeah, he comes over.
He is a perfect gentleman.
He takes my coat,
he brings me a cocktail, introduces me around.
Finally, at the end of the night, and get this.
In the interests of national security, he says
he needs me to stay.
Since I'm wearing a sable,
he needs to personally interview me.
Make sure I'm not working for the Russians.
- He said that?
- Some line, huh?
- What was he like?
- Wonderful.
- So were you two an item?
- No. He called.
But after all, this man was the leader
of the free world. I mean, you know...
One weekend, I was supposed
to go down to DC, stay at the Ritz-Carlton.
Last minute, emergency meeting.
- Steel workers are going on strike.
- So it was just that one time?
You know, after the Bay of Pigs,
he was probably pretty busy.
Yeah, I knew there were others.
Judy Campbell and Marilyn, of course.
We had something special, though.
Crazy passion.
That was something
your mother never understood.
When you're married to a powerful man
you damn well better make him feel powerful.
My mother?
Please.
I saw a picture of Livia on New Year's Eve.
She was dressed like a refugee.
I think I'm going to skip the coffee.
I got a meeting in the city.
Are you sure?
Look...
Consider this an advance.
Get your phone turned on
and pay your rent.
Your dad would be so proud.
He raised a real gentleman.
You trying to buy this pot?
800 and you'll know.
What the fuck.
Cowboys and three little Indians.
Fuck me!
I got a lot of big people
coming next week.
So when you write on TV, what do they have -
like one guy writes the words
for Dylan McDermott
and one guy writes
for Nicholson's girlfriend?
- You write it all yourself.
- Oh, interesting.
So how you doing? You wanna take off?
I'm getting killed here.
I'm gonna go. I'm fucking shot.
- I'll call you tomorrow. You wanna work out?
- Sure, yeah, whatever.
Four of clubs to Joe Hollywood,
jack for the car-wash king.
Ten for Mr Vito.
Show Valentina you love her!
They were out of the Citrucel.
- Where are you going?
- Gotta order some flowers.
Sal from the dry-cleaner, his kid died.
Drowned in a Jacuzzi.
Seven years old, you believe it?
Fucking tragedy.
- Harold Melvoin.
- It's me. I got another funeral. A kid.
His father does my shirts.
- It has to be a relative.
- It is a relative, goddamn it!
My old man came over
with his great-great-grandfather.
- Guy had a club foot.
- Isn't that rather tenuous?
The whole village of Avellino
settled in this area. We gotta be related.
- Corrado...
- Corrado, my balls!
I've gotta get out of here.
I'm going stir-crazy.
7th Street coming out.
Holy shit. You're still here?
- Called you all day.
- We're in a hand here.
- What do you wanna do?
- Fold.
Here, fuck it. I'm all in.
- Call.
- Pair of tens.
Flush. Caught it on the river.
Motherfucking...
fuck!
How bad?
- He owes the house 57.
- Thousand?
- What are you? Fucking crazy?
- Define crazy.
I'm good for it. I'm up for this Dick Wolf thing.
If I get on staff, it's a month's salary.
Well, how about this fucking month?
You think you could spot me for a while?
I got some child support, too.
I'll cover this, give you three grand
for incidentals. That's 60,000 altogether.
- I've only been up two days. I can still add.
- Good. Then add two points every week
- till I'm paid in full.
- You're charging me vig?
On top of the principal. It's compounded if
you're late. That's 1200 one week from today.
Don't give me that look.
This is your problem.
I will not fucking enable you.
There he is! Philly!
- Phil, where you going?
- I gotta meet John at the restaurant.
You fucking cocksucker!
Where you gonna go, huh?
Where you gonna go?
Motherfucker!
Jesus Christ. Mister, you OK in there?
- Oh, my neck!
- You all right?
You run from me, you cocksucker?
Where's my fucking money?
I'll get it. I'll get it. My neck, Tony.
- What? Do you think I'm an asshole?
- No.
- I can't hear you.
- No, no. Please, Tony.
You got 24 hours.
I called 911. They're on their way.
He's all right.
Oh, my God.
- Oh, my baby.
- Take her upstairs, Andy.
My baby...
She should take one of those
tranquillizers her mother gave her.
- We should go.
- Relax, we just got here.
Chicken's nice and spicy, huh?
I know you're in there.
You're casting a shadow over the peephole.
What? Are you ducking me?
I thought you were this girl.
She's a pain in the ass.
What the fuck? Where you been?
Working, man. I got those TV pitch meetings.
- I was gonna call you.
- Yeah, so why didn't you?
All right, look. You want the truth?
I was away. I went to AC.
- Where's my money?
- I don't have it yet.
But you went to AC.
I have a meeting next week with Rene Balcer.
Dick Wolf's right-hand guy. He likes my stuff.
He told my agent. I'm gonna be on staff.
I got out of that business
cos people fuck you over.
Jon Favreau?
Faggot cocksucker tried to steal my ideas.
I swear on all that's holy.
I'll have your money next week.
That wasn't the deal! I'll be back tomorrow.
Don't make me a jerkoff.
Damn, I'm happy. Get a load of these.
My new kicks. Bottega Veneta,
marked down to only 600.
- Thought you were paying your phone bill.
- Oh, I should've, I know.
But it's been so long
since I've been able to treat myself.
Oh, thanks.
So, turns out my Uncle Zio's going downhill.
The day we met, I told you we were at the
cemetery to bury his wife, my Aunt Concetta.
70 years, they were together.
Poor guy's taking it very hard.
Oh! My knight in shining armour!
So?
- Good morning to you, too.
- You got it?
Jesus, you are a fucking trip.
I'm JT by the way.
What is this? Pulp Fiction?
Am I supposed to be afraid?
I don't know. I didn't see it.
You're really being a prick.
I told you, I need more time.
- I don't have the money.
- Get it.
You know me. What could you do to me
that I haven't already been through?
I'm positive we'll think of something.
And 66 years after taking those sacred vows,
"till death do us part",
Concetta left him and went home to God.
In the two weeks that followed,
Nicolo struggled without her,
finally succumbing to irredeemable loss.
The enormity of his grief
can hardly be imagined.
How much they went through together -
seeing their children grow
and looking joyfully on
as their grandchildren had children.
Sickness and health,
good times and bad
but through it all, one thing remained constant.
They had each other.
It was Nicolo's love for Concetta
that made him leave this earth
a mere 15 days after she left him.
We take comfort
knowing they're together again,
seated at the foot of our Lord.
Let us join together in prayer.
Hail, Mary, full of Grace,
the Lord is with Thee.
Blessed art Thou among women
and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death, amen.
- Junior, what's the matter?
- Oh, this fucking shit!
What's the point?
- Shh, Uncle Junior.
- I can't take it any more!
You need to lower your voice. Come on.
And forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
It's a fucking Emmy.
It's gold-plated.
Then melt it down, man.
Look, I told you $15.
Fuck, man, come on!
This is like, huge, this shit.
If you had an Oscar,
maybe I could give you something.
An Academy Award. But TV?
- What else you got?
- I don't know.
I got a laptop in my car.
Yeah, OK, cool. I'll check that out.
From your friend. All 1200.
- He gave you a hard time?
- Hardest thing was keeping him awake.
- He's hitting the vein. Nodding out.
- Son of a fucking bitch.
Cheers.
I'm grilling us some filet mignon.
And you, take a load off.
This is the money
from the closing of the racetrack.
- It's 150 grand.
- That's great.
- How's your pal, Hesh?
- Good.
I remember once,
your dad and I drove down the shore.
Hesh had rented a place at Point Pleasant.
It was right before Labor Day.
Actually, it was a couple of months
before he died. We stopped at a liquor store.
He had to pee, I needed some cigarettes.
And anyway,
the man behind the counter was blind.
- Your dad looks at him...
- Wait a minute.
- This is after my dad got sick?
- Yeah.
My dad caught emphysema
and you kept smoking?
- He didn't mind.
- He could barely breathe.
We had the oxygen tent set up right
in the house. Jesus, even my mother quit.
I offered to stop. He didn't want me to.
He was fine with it, really.
All right, whatever. Finish your story.
It was dumb. Your dad got the guy
to give us some champagne.
Water chestnuts
wrapped in bacon.
And dip them in the duck sauce.
All right.
Delicious.
So, what's in the bag?
Yeah, I wanted to show you this.
It's the hat I told you about.
- JFK's.
- Oh, my goodness.
Look at this.
- May I?
- Yeah
I met with the Dick Wolf guy.
They hired some kid from Yale.
Plus, now the money I owe you
my ex-fucking-wife...
How many times have you shot up?
Five, six.
I thought I had it under control. I lost it.
You stupid fuck.
- You were doing so good. Now you fucked up.
- Where do you get the right?
We're in the programme.
Why didn't you call your sponsor?
- I couldn't get him.
- So why didn't you call me?
Yeah, but I don't fucking live with my mistress.
I mean, his fucking slippers?
Go on.
Well, when I left there, I...
started thinking about it.
When I was, I don't know, 16 years old -
my son's age -
I came home from school
to find a note from my Aunt Quin.
My mother had been pregnant
with another kid after my sister Barbara.
Change-of-life baby, they called it and...
Well, she started bleeding.
I was supposed get my father
over there ASAP.
I called every number I had.
I left messages all over town.
And finally, that night, about ten o'clock,
he called me back.
- Hello?
- Anthony, what's the matter?
Ma's in the hospital.
I think she was bleeding. The baby.
Jesus Christ.
Oh, shit!
- OK, pal.
- The lamb chops are gonna be overcooked.
I'm tied up, but I'm gonna get over
to the hospital right away.
He came and got me the next morning.
We went over to the hospital,
walked into her room.
- You're OK, baby, you're OK.
- No, you're OK!
Your life is just so wonderful and OK!
Lee...
Where were you last night?
I was at the Yankee game.
You were with that whore.
- What do you take me for? An idiot?
- No, Lee, that's not true!
I picked up Anthony from school,
we went to the game!
- Nicky gave us the tickets.
- You're a goddam liar.
I swear to God, Lee, the car broke down!
The timing belt!
We had to stay at Cousin Jimmy's.
Madonn', when we got home
and saw that note, I was worried sick.
Ask Anthony, you don't believe me.
Where were you last night, Anthony?
We were at Cousin Jimmy's, Ma.
She could've fucking died
from a miscarriage.
- Fuck her.
- Was there any blame on his part?
This man you emulate?
The lies? The betrayals with other women?
Listen to me.
This is very important. Your mother
had her faults, but after all this time
what should we do with the old woman?
Have an auto-da-f??
Burn her at the stake?
You need to forgive her and move on.
She made my father give my dog away.
I thought your father was a big, tough guy.
Probably didn't want to hear her bullshit
any more.
He gave my dog away
to his girlfriend's kid. Big deal.
If it was up to her,
she woulda had it killed.
All right, thanks.
Book value's 17 grand.
I'll knock that off the principal.
I fucking loved this car.
So you'll get another one.
Is that your sponsor?
I'll see you when you get out of rehab.
We'll figure out the rest of the payments.
You can do this, man. I have faith in you.
There's no chemical solution
to a spiritual problem.
It could've been another TIA. It's hard to tell.
Was any of this
accompanied by a lapse in memory?
I don't know.
Had you brought him earlier
I might have more answers.
That medicine stopped working.
I took more and it didn't do shit.
- I'm the walking dead.
- Medication's like cooking.
We may need to adjust the ingredients.
Who gives a shit? I'm so fucking blue.
What do you expect?
All you do is go to funerals all the time.
I'm trapped. What's the goddamn point?
Goddamn house arrest.
My life is only death.
I'm living in a grave.
I beat prison and for what?
I have no children.
Would somebody please explain this?
So, Hesh tells me you met your dad's goomah.
You had to see this woman in her prime.
- Nice, huh?
- Nice?
- She was JFK's girlfriend for three years.
- No shit!
- I remember hearing about her.
- Fucking knockout. Beautiful, classy.
JFK, huh? How do you like that?
He had her up to the White House
on the weekends, when his wife was away.
This woman was like a... like a princess.
I'll tell you what.
For a while there, Jackie Kennedy
thought the marriage was over.