The Sopranos (1999–2007): Season 5, Episode 13 - All Due Respect - full transcript
Tony realizes that he must take care of family messes himself in order to keep the peace within his own clan.
You were right.
Forensics has signed off on him.
The body can be released.
Phil, why don't you wait
until they fix him up over there?
I promised our mother
I'd see him like we knew him, Jimmy.
Before they put on
all that pancake and shit.
Oh, for Madonna santa.
Your funeral director's car is here.
I'll go down and meet them.
John, how long I gotta wait?
Tony Soprano left to his own device...
is never gonna give up
that fucking animal Blundetto.
- Philly.
- An eye for an eye?
This is kind of fun.
But if I was you, I'd dump this job.
I'd go to Italy.
This is no way for a caretaker to live.
Well, a few things
have to settle down first.
My cousin will send me funds
to go through Canada.
Italy, wow. Nice cousin.
Oh, hey, thanks for that massage.
My toe doesn't hurt hardly at all now.
Watch the windows.
Ho!
Excuse me. How you doing?
- You're Joanne, right?
- Who are you?
Well, we're friends of your son's.
My son doesn't live with me.
We're from Alcoholics Anonymous.
- What's your name?
- Well, we're anonymous.
I see his car's out front.
He went to California or Vegas.
I don't know.
California or Vegas. When did he leave?
Sorry, I have to go to work.
- Where the fuck is he?
- Phil...
Leave me alone.
I had a brother your son's age.
Please, let go of my hand.
Where the fuck is he, you fucking cunt?
I'll take that Discman
and I'll ram it up your box.
Philly, Philly, please. Please.
It's the guy's mother, Phil.
It's the guy's mother.
Oh, man, those jocks are juicers.
They'll do it just for the free brew.
You're still here?
I'm driving to school.
I don't have to leave as early.
He'll bring some cool people.
- Hey, what are you doing up?
- Snow blower.
Seems to me you are not
sleeping that well, period.
- Look at you.
- Told A.J. to fix this leak...
while I was still living at my mother's.
What's going on with him?
Every time I go by the room,
he's flopped on the bed, on the phone.
I am so sick of nagging him.
If he thinks he's gonna get into East
Stroudsburg State, he's sadly mistaken.
Now, look at this kid out there,
the gardener's son.
- Can't ask this one to take out the trash.
- Poverty is a great motivator.
- You think we gave A.J. too much?
- Then look at Meadow.
Same house, same everything.
She's doing great.
She takes after you, maybe.
Don't do that. He's my son too.
Well, I got that appointment with
his coach today. Maybe he's got a clue.
- Hello?
- In here, Dad.
Hey, there's my little amaretto cookie.
Clear a place
so we can take a look at these.
They're only preliminary drawings.
I've got scones if anybody wants.
Meadow! Take a look at the house
your mother's gonna build!
Well, and Grandpa, of course.
Tony, Ignatz is responsible for those
Normandy chateaus up on Tisch Drive.
Wow, look at that entry.
What is that, like three stories high?
- T?
- Christopher, hi. It's Carmela.
- Is Adriana there?
- No.
I was just wondering what was going on.
I stopped by Fortunoff.
She was supposed to get back to them
with a decision about her china pattern.
And she hasn't returned their calls.
Is everything all right?
We broke up.
What? Why? What happened?
Nothing. She left. Broke my heart.
Moved out a couple days ago.
Haven't seen her.
Oh, no. That's terrible.
Are you all right?
She stiffed me on the club, never showed
for work. The place is rudderless.
- Oh, my God. Is there anything I can do?
- No.
Well, look, I gotta go.
Somebody's waiting for me.
I am devastated.
I wish I could reach her.
Is there a number?
- Not that I know of.
- Chris, listen.
There's other fish in the sea.
I know. Thanks.
Tony Soprano and Vito Spatafore
talking about the bus-station project.
Adriana La Cerva.
Way we make it, she's either taken off
or gotten clipped.
- You hear anything?
- Clipped? Why?
- Stepping out on her boyfriend.
- I heard she took off.
- Any idea where?
- How should I know? He's a dope addict.
Did I already give you that?
- If you hear anything, let me know.
- Say hello to Ike and the guys.
T's held up.
He said to start without him.
- Right?
- Yeah.
What can we say about this guy?
The ancient Romans had a word for it.
Asshole.
In all candor, though,
we love you, Raymond.
Take that setup away. He ain't coming.
- Who, Chris?
- South with the geese.
Christopher is the logical sacrifice bunt.
- Make up for the dead brother.
- I'm his brother-in-law.
You think New York is really
gonna come after you, Bobby?
What the fuck do I know?
If you're them, he wants somebody
close to Tony as possible.
And who knows him better and longer?
Don't think Johnny's not gonna put
a financial squeeze on us.
Tell me about it. I'm already getting
fucked with by Johnny's people.
- It's not good.
- All due respect...
I'm willing to die for a good cause.
This is bullshit.
- There he is!
- Hey, hey.
Sit down, sit down.
Sit down, sit down.
What's going on?
Vito misto, how are you?
- Happy birthday, Ray.
- Thanks for coming, Ton.
I brought these plus...
That's a good one.
"Acuto di Soprano."
I serve it at my house. It's from Avellino.
My grandfather said that some
of my ancestors were winemakers...
but what the fuck do I know, huh?
Thanks, Ton.
- That's gonna be a treasure.
- Yeah, well, whatever.
Larry! What the fuck are you doing here?
- I thought you were under house arrest?
- Fuck them.
I ever see that prison doctor,
God forbid, I'm gonna say:
"Fuckstick, they ever show you these
in medical school? They're called balls."
Good for you!
Listen, I can't stay.
I got a meeting I gotta go to.
Got something I wanna say.
My cousin Anthony
went into business for himself...
We all know this.
In a way, for which there is no excuse.
He's got a problem with rage.
He disappointed me, Anthony, in
ways that I can't even begin to tell you.
And he put us all at risk.
Irregardless...
it's been made clear to me
that if they put their hands on him...
he will not be dealt with quick.
I'm talking torture.
For that reason, even if I knew
where my cousin was... And I do not.
I would not deliver him up to them.
I am offering him the same protection
that I would offer any of you...
in similar circumstances.
I know what you're gonna say:
"I would never do what he did."
God bless, I hope not.
But we are a family.
And even in this fucked-up day and age,
that means something.
So we are gonna deal with this
as a family, together...
no matter how it affects anybody
personal safety-wise...
financially-wise, whatever.
I see that my nephew isn't here
and it's important he lam it now.
It's my desire that you circle
the wagons, you support him.
Until and as such.
Raymond, sorry I can't stay.
- Happy birthday, huh?
- Thanks.
- Gentlemen, enjoy your dinner.
- See you, T.
Thank you. That was great.
Thought you had Raymond's dinner.
I left early.
It's nice you're home.
There's chicken parm.
Was Christopher there?
No.
- You know him and Adriana broke up?
- No.
This kid. That's his trouble.
He keeps it all bottled up.
Then they wonder why
they get chemical dependencies.
Do you think there was somebody else?
Because there was this one night,
way back.
It was movie night with the girls.
Adriana was very upset.
She wanted to get something
off her chest. Then she ran out crying.
You know,
I'll bet she was seeing somebody.
You never know about people.
His plans were often
startling, instinctive, spontaneous...
and not infrequently obscure.
His men idolized him
and had boundless faith in him.
After being promoted in 1916,
he joyfully returned home on leave...
to marry his sweetheart,
Lucie Maria Mollin.
She would be
the love of his life to its end.
Rommel saw the huge assault
on France forming...
and he saw that the new
armored weapon would be at the...
I still love this old house so much.
I should do half so good
with my stupid project.
Panzer Division, was almost
precisely what he had done as a lieutenant.
Yeah.
He was directing
the efforts of a single tank.
I'm sorry, did you want to be alone?
No. No.
It was blitzkrieg in its purest form.
It was Rommel.
He had what the
Germans call Fingerspitzengef?hl...
which is a sixth sense
of sizing up the situation.
- Hey.
- Claude Rains.
- Thanks for doing this.
- About 1500 there.
It should tide you over.
- Hey, Sil.
- Hey, kid.
You want something? Fries?
- Fucking something this situation, huh?
- Right.
I can't even get down to Milt's.
Fence some jewelry.
Everybody with eyes in the back
of their head. Shit, I was Tony's driver.
It's amazing. You want me to be honest?
The favoritism Tony still shows
for our fucking cousin...
after what he's done?
What does Tony B. have on this guy?
I'm supposed to take a bullet
for this skive.
After all your uncle's done for you,
I need to get into specifics?
Said you went home.
Trisha. Just heard her old man died.
I'll give her a call.
Actually, I been hanging around
on purpose.
I gotta talk to you, Ton.
About what?
Ton, I've been the consigliere
for a lot of years...
Don't go into a fucking preamble.
Just tell me what's on your mind.
- You got some unhappy people out there.
- No shit.
Not just the young guys.
Guys that have been with you
since the beginning.
Since before the beginning.
Guys who worked for your father.
- Fucking Paulie, right?
- I'm not saying nothing.
- Yeah, well, goddamn him.
- These guys, Ton...
will do whatever you order.
- Except in this case.
- Don't say it like that.
Forget that Blundetto's my cousin.
I give him up, we can give
the whole fucking thing up.
Here's where the conversation
gets difficult.
- Go.
- All due respect...
you were ready to hand
him your cousin a week ago.
It's not about standing with the guys
or upholding some rules. Not really.
Then what's it all about?
Why don't you illuminate me?
It's about you don't wanna eat shit
from John.
You don't wanna bow down.
You told him to go fuck himself...
which, to be honest,
wasn't exactly appropriate, considering.
- Oh, is that right?
- All due respect.
What the fuck do you know
what goes on in my head?
I known you since you were a kid, Ton.
Frankly, you got a problem
with authority.
This attitude of yours...
it's a lot of what's made you
an effective leader.
But we all got flaws. Even you.
Seven deadly sins and yours is pride.
All due respect.
You got no fucking idea
what it's like to be number one.
Every decision you make affects every
facet of every other fucking thing.
It's too much to deal with almost.
And in the end,
you're completely alone with it all.
I'm sorry you feel that way.
This is the course I've chosen.
And those of you that are not
with me on it...
well, that makes me sad
and it'll be dealt with in time.
You need me for anything else?
- Benny, right?
- How you doing, Mr. Leotardo?
I'm sitting listening to WFAN and I go,
"Isn't that the kid that drove for Tony?"
I'm on my way to the hospital.
Well, that's up to you.
No, no, I mean my mom, she...
- Where's your boss's friend?
- What friend?
Don't fuck with me, kid.
Don't fuck with me!
- Where's Blundetto?
- I don't know!
It's a start.
- Hey, Ton.
- Hey, Ton.
Jesus.
He has a fractured skull.
- Is he talking at all?
- A little.
Listen, Ben, I want you to know
that this is all gonna be taken care of...
through the plumbers union
health plan. I'm gonna see to that.
You know what? We were talking here...
and it's time you get
your own customers.
You're getting a little too old
to be beating people up.
- Where's Larry?
- He's staying home.
He's the boy's godfather.
He called me,
said he was gonna be down here.
House arrest.
All right.
This is fucked up.
- What do you wanna do about it?
- What do I wanna do about it?
I want that man
to do something about it.
I want him to give us the okay
to drive to Brooklyn...
clean some fucking timepieces
over there.
Tony Blundetto
whacked the brother of a captain.
Tony tried to strike at them again?
We should take him out.
Look, just give me that first one,
the Oregonian, 39.95.
Oh, you're sending a fruit basket
to the kid. He'll appreciate it.
It's for Mel. The poor guy had
a stroke, you believe it?
- He's younger than me.
- Melvoin?
- Jesus Christ, that's terrible.
- That's why I asked you to come over.
His speech. He'll sound
a little stonato, probably forever.
But get this.
Nine months, maybe a year...
till he can work a full schedule.
They'll have to postpone my retrial.
No shit.
The question is should I use the stall...
but then get a lawyer
who's more with it?
So you heard about this thing
with Phil and John?
- Bobby said something about this.
- But you're losing money, probably.
- I am? How much?
- Oh, you gotta talk to him.
- John?
- Bobby!
Does John do your collections?
Look, Uncle Jun, what do you think?
John beat one of my guys
to within an inch of his life.
Next time he's gonna kill somebody.
But what can I do? It's my cousin.
Did I give them the office address
or the home?
- I'm talking.
- The man had a stroke.
You want it to go to the wrong place?
It's fruit. It'll rot.
Hey. I painted myself into a corner here.
And I don't see a way out.
But he wasn't made, right?
The kid. Phil's son.
It's okay, forget it.
I'm sorry, but I'm fucking
nonplussed with all this news.
Frankly, I don't know. You're going
a little squirrelly in this house.
- Tell Phil.
- Tell Phil what?
Where you going?
You wanted to confer with me?
It's not important.
Make sure you eat a lunch today.
Poor fucking Feech La Manna.
Tony sent the wrong ex-con back to jail.
You realize I had a container of imported
provolone coming into that port Saturday?
That fucking Phil
and them put it on a truck...
took it to Westchester instead of
Rahway where we always split the loads.
Jesus. That shit is liquid gold.
Tony knows what has to be done.
Tell John where to find Tony Blundetto.
He just won't do it.
As if he even knows where Tony B. is.
Give me a fucking break.
Of course he knows.
- It's Christopher I feel for.
- Please. Let me tell you something.
Anthony Soprano is very adroit at keeping
his family out of the fucking frying pan.
Both cousins. The rest of us:
How is life now that you're back home?
Carmela?
I had a dream a couple weeks ago.
Before I moved back, recurring dream.
- See my old coach from high school.
- What happens?
Well, see he told me back then,
this guy, he said...
- Said that I was special.
- You never told me this.
Why now?
Does everything I drag here
gotta be a dead dog?
I went to see my son's football coach.
See, he was starting my boy...
now coach is going to this other kid.
What's the reason?
Well, A.J.'s just devoting more energy
to academics.
He wants to get
into a good school.
How's things on other fronts?
Your cousin?
Well, you touched on something there
that's not so good.
- What's the problem?
- I really can't talk to you about it.
This is very difficult for me
treating you...
when so much of your life
is closed off.
How many times can I say this?
Look, I'm not trying to be difficult here.
It affects me tremendously,
this trouble he's gotten himself into.
So I'm upset.
Well...
And I care about him so much.
You care about him so much?
We spent hours
getting to the realization...
that your feelings for your cousin
stem from guilt and shame.
Do you remember that?
- Do you care?
- It's just that it doesn't matter now...
It's just that here we are as always,
back at square one.
With you going into
high sentimentality mode.
Sentimentality mode?
We were children together!
Look, it's a lot like with your son.
Here's what I bet the coach
didn't tell you.
What you wanted to hear most...
is that your son is special too.
What I'm saying is,
whatever you wanna do...
vis-?-vis your cousin,
your son, whoever, own your feelings.
I'm very confused.
But we can't talk about it.
It's my mess.
All my choices were wrong.
- How much?
- It's 5 bucks.
It's 5 bucks.
Your cup's your admission pass.
- Where they from?
- Montville.
- They gotta go.
- Totally.
- Hello?
- Chiara!
- Hi!
- You gotta come up Greenbrook Road.
Patrick said to tell you guys
some people have bogus cups.
They brought them with them
to get out of paying.
Hey, man. Let me see your cup.
- It's back in the Athletic Department.
- We're getting ripped off.
You think this is like downloading music?
That beer's ours unless you pay for it.
Fucking manners!
Yeah!
Oh, come on.
Speak.
Hello?
Hello? Hello.
- Who is it?
- Open this door.
Wanna talk to you.
I hear you got some beefs.
Do you wanna phone everybody?
What the fuck?
I know you said
you wanted it burnt, T...
but the picture moved me.
It's because you knew it cost me
an arm and a leg.
It's museum-quality work, I admit that.
But I told the guys, the chance
to hang a picture of you on my wall.
I rescued it from the flames.
What's with the hat and shit?
Don't give me "huh."
You know what it does to me?
- To be reminded of that fucking horse?
- I'm sorry, T.
But you never come here no more.
I didn't figure it'd be a problem.
I never come here no more
because they're watching all our houses.
- It's no good for us to visit.
- I know.
What do you get a big laugh out of that?
- That's no joke, T.
- Then what the fuck is it?
That's no joke. That cost me a lot
of money to get the retouching done.
What the fuck you do it for?
Don't bullshit me, Paulie.
Part of it, all right, was to fix
some fire damage on the guy's feet.
But while I was at it I also thought
I don't have a modern look in here.
So go with something more traditional.
Something that catches
more of what you're about.
A goddamn lawn jockey?
That's not a lawn jockey.
That's a general.
What general? Who?
It's not a real general from history.
It's you.
What the fuck?
Speak.
He's at 146 Route 9A, Kinderhook.
- Skip.
- How's it going?
- Hey.
- Hey, Ton.
We got you your bialys and coffee.
Johnny Sack called for you.
Called a couple of times.
He seemed to be upset about something.
Good bialy.
Any time, boss.
Catch you later.
Take it easy, Ton.
- What?
- It didn't solve a thing.
- It's over, John.
- The fuck it is!
He's beside himself now.
The best thing for him,
for you, for all of us...
is to put this thing behind us
and get back to business.
- How is that supposed to happen?
- Something we gotta talk about.
As a first step I'd consider giving Phil...
quarter of my points
in the Bloomfield operation...
which my cousin was running.
I'm at Columbia Pres all day.
My yearly physical.
An hour already
I'm waiting for this doctor.
Then I got bone density tests, lipids.
Come to the city tonight, we'll sit down.
No offense, John, but I got
an IQ of 136. It's been tested.
All right. Tomorrow morning then,
my house, 6:30.
- What?
- I'm on a 9 a.m. flight to Miami.
- I have to get things in line down there.
- John...
You think I'm gonna give you ammazz
with Ginny upstairs?
- If you don't hear from me, I'll be there.
- Tony. You and you alone.
I'm not having Phil. Nobody.
- Who is it?
- It's me.
Go up to the farm
and pick up your cousin.
I need you to go up there now,
this morning.
May be over. But watch your back.
Take him off the premises, obviously.
Should be buried.
- It should be you that does it.
- You got it.
We never got a chance to talk
in detail about Adriana.
I know.
If you let something slip...
if she saw anything.
There was a couple of times I had her
with me picking up collections.
Esplanade.
The cigarettes, she was
always nosing around.
Did you ever say anything about Ralph?
Or the Bevilaqua kid?
- No.
- Would you remember?
I swear on my life.
You won't find any of that.
I'm reading, I'm lifting weights.
I know what you think, Ton,
but you'll see.
I'm gonna prove myself to you.
I only chipped that once,
on the day with her.
She was willing to rat me out because
she couldn't do five fucking years.
- I thought she loved me.
- She's a cunt.
Does no good to think about that now.
All right, so...
No, he does like her.
Because he told me.
- I've heard you talking in here all night.
- Could you knock?
You said you would be
finishing your Stroudsburg application.
You're gonna stroke out if
you can't find a way to control yourself.
- I know.
- Hang that phone up.
Call me back later?
I don't know what to say, you know.
Those applications are late,
you are cooked. It's that simple.
And I do know this because
I have raised you from day one...
you won't like working at McDonald's.
Could you amp up the drama a little?
You know what?
I don't like the sarcasm.
And I don't want you around here
next year sponging off of us.
So fine. I am withholding all allowance
until those applications are done.
That's not even practical
and you know it.
- What's the matter?
- He hasn't done his applications...
he isn't getting allowance.
No allowance.
- Well, I have $300 of my own money.
- How?
Me and Matt put on a party.
Five dollars a person.
We made 600 bucks after expenses.
- What expenses?
- The band.
Is that what you've been
on the phone about?
It may interest you to know,
people said it was the best party all year.
- There was drinking, I suppose?
- We just let people into Matt's house.
What they brought
was not under our control.
Do your applications. Now.
What?
You know, it's interesting.
- I was talking to his college adviser.
- Who, Wegman?
No, A.J. got switched around,
Miss Merrow.
She mentioned that
A.J. talked to her once...
about what might be good schools
to study event planning.
Event planning?
What the hell is it?
I am not really sure.
- It's gay, isn't it?
- I don't know.
I know you're around
a lot of wealthy people.
And then he watches that DVD
over and over again.
The one with Mike Myers about...
What's his name? ...Steve Rubell,
the Studio 54 guy.
Oh, Jesus.
Yeah, but I mean, you know it...
Well, I guess, you know.
I don't know.
He's fired up about something at least.
So? Go ahead.
Phil has to know that punishment has
been meted out and that's all there is.
And that what we are here for
in the end...
is to put food on the table
for our families...
our sons, the future.
That's what's important.
He doesn't accept that.
His family's smaller by one.
Well then, my friend,
it's up to you to make him accept it.
- Me?
- Let's talk, John...
about the 500-pound elephant
in the room.
Which is that you started
this cycle of bloodshed...
when you whacked the girl
Carmine used to fuck.
Lorraine Calluzo was not a girl.
And what kind of a man
bangs his second cousin?
What are you, the frigging cardinal?
Look, you wanna shut down
our joint construction jobs?
Eat K rations? Fine.
You want Phil to put one
in one of my guys?
That'll go a long way to making you
the rich prick you always wanted to be.
What do you suggest?
Well, whatever his legitimate sorrow,
he's got a price.
He wants to provide for his family.
- And?
- And what?
Meet his price. And that's it.
I don't wanna hear nothing else.
- Oh, you don't?
- I paid enough, John.
I paid a lot.
Maybe I could sell it.
Truth is we've had discussions.
I gave him the sports book.
Why didn't you say that right off?
You cheap fuck.
Because I don't like it.
- He'll want consigliere...
- All right, let's not go backwards now.
These people you run into
wanna be boss, huh?
- They should know.
- I told you.
You don't listen, you nut.
It's good seeing you again.
Still look forward to working
with you, John. I mean that.
- You want a coffee?
- Oh, I don't know...
Oh, my fucking Christ.
FBI! Open up!
FBI!
Oh, my God!
I'm the gardener! I'm the...
Absolutely, put him on.
Anthony?
The Feds just hit Johnny Sack.
You heard anything?
I had Gendler on my cell phone
all the way over here.
Jimmy Petrille was a cooperator.
Brooklyn AUSA took down
the whole Petrille crew, plus Johnny.
Would have reached
all the way to Carmine Sr...
if he hadn't died.
Jimmy Petrille? He's a sweet old guy.
He gave them gambling,
homicides, trafficking.
Eighteen fucking years' worth.
It's a major kreplach, my friend.
- I was fucking there.
- What? Where?
Johnny's house.
My car's still in the driveway.
I'm walking three miles
towards my house.
No law against parking your car,
unless it's in front of a hydrant.
I'm not laughing, Neil.
No, of course not.
Anyway, you weren't named
in the indictment obviously.
It's Brooklyn.
They weren't coming for you.
So frankly, were I you,
I might actually consider laughing.
Or rub a hunchback's hump.
Or something.
- Yeah.
- Be of good cheer.
Call you when I hear more.
What happened to you?
Your shoes are soaking wet.
Forensics has signed off on him.
The body can be released.
Phil, why don't you wait
until they fix him up over there?
I promised our mother
I'd see him like we knew him, Jimmy.
Before they put on
all that pancake and shit.
Oh, for Madonna santa.
Your funeral director's car is here.
I'll go down and meet them.
John, how long I gotta wait?
Tony Soprano left to his own device...
is never gonna give up
that fucking animal Blundetto.
- Philly.
- An eye for an eye?
This is kind of fun.
But if I was you, I'd dump this job.
I'd go to Italy.
This is no way for a caretaker to live.
Well, a few things
have to settle down first.
My cousin will send me funds
to go through Canada.
Italy, wow. Nice cousin.
Oh, hey, thanks for that massage.
My toe doesn't hurt hardly at all now.
Watch the windows.
Ho!
Excuse me. How you doing?
- You're Joanne, right?
- Who are you?
Well, we're friends of your son's.
My son doesn't live with me.
We're from Alcoholics Anonymous.
- What's your name?
- Well, we're anonymous.
I see his car's out front.
He went to California or Vegas.
I don't know.
California or Vegas. When did he leave?
Sorry, I have to go to work.
- Where the fuck is he?
- Phil...
Leave me alone.
I had a brother your son's age.
Please, let go of my hand.
Where the fuck is he, you fucking cunt?
I'll take that Discman
and I'll ram it up your box.
Philly, Philly, please. Please.
It's the guy's mother, Phil.
It's the guy's mother.
Oh, man, those jocks are juicers.
They'll do it just for the free brew.
You're still here?
I'm driving to school.
I don't have to leave as early.
He'll bring some cool people.
- Hey, what are you doing up?
- Snow blower.
Seems to me you are not
sleeping that well, period.
- Look at you.
- Told A.J. to fix this leak...
while I was still living at my mother's.
What's going on with him?
Every time I go by the room,
he's flopped on the bed, on the phone.
I am so sick of nagging him.
If he thinks he's gonna get into East
Stroudsburg State, he's sadly mistaken.
Now, look at this kid out there,
the gardener's son.
- Can't ask this one to take out the trash.
- Poverty is a great motivator.
- You think we gave A.J. too much?
- Then look at Meadow.
Same house, same everything.
She's doing great.
She takes after you, maybe.
Don't do that. He's my son too.
Well, I got that appointment with
his coach today. Maybe he's got a clue.
- Hello?
- In here, Dad.
Hey, there's my little amaretto cookie.
Clear a place
so we can take a look at these.
They're only preliminary drawings.
I've got scones if anybody wants.
Meadow! Take a look at the house
your mother's gonna build!
Well, and Grandpa, of course.
Tony, Ignatz is responsible for those
Normandy chateaus up on Tisch Drive.
Wow, look at that entry.
What is that, like three stories high?
- T?
- Christopher, hi. It's Carmela.
- Is Adriana there?
- No.
I was just wondering what was going on.
I stopped by Fortunoff.
She was supposed to get back to them
with a decision about her china pattern.
And she hasn't returned their calls.
Is everything all right?
We broke up.
What? Why? What happened?
Nothing. She left. Broke my heart.
Moved out a couple days ago.
Haven't seen her.
Oh, no. That's terrible.
Are you all right?
She stiffed me on the club, never showed
for work. The place is rudderless.
- Oh, my God. Is there anything I can do?
- No.
Well, look, I gotta go.
Somebody's waiting for me.
I am devastated.
I wish I could reach her.
Is there a number?
- Not that I know of.
- Chris, listen.
There's other fish in the sea.
I know. Thanks.
Tony Soprano and Vito Spatafore
talking about the bus-station project.
Adriana La Cerva.
Way we make it, she's either taken off
or gotten clipped.
- You hear anything?
- Clipped? Why?
- Stepping out on her boyfriend.
- I heard she took off.
- Any idea where?
- How should I know? He's a dope addict.
Did I already give you that?
- If you hear anything, let me know.
- Say hello to Ike and the guys.
T's held up.
He said to start without him.
- Right?
- Yeah.
What can we say about this guy?
The ancient Romans had a word for it.
Asshole.
In all candor, though,
we love you, Raymond.
Take that setup away. He ain't coming.
- Who, Chris?
- South with the geese.
Christopher is the logical sacrifice bunt.
- Make up for the dead brother.
- I'm his brother-in-law.
You think New York is really
gonna come after you, Bobby?
What the fuck do I know?
If you're them, he wants somebody
close to Tony as possible.
And who knows him better and longer?
Don't think Johnny's not gonna put
a financial squeeze on us.
Tell me about it. I'm already getting
fucked with by Johnny's people.
- It's not good.
- All due respect...
I'm willing to die for a good cause.
This is bullshit.
- There he is!
- Hey, hey.
Sit down, sit down.
Sit down, sit down.
What's going on?
Vito misto, how are you?
- Happy birthday, Ray.
- Thanks for coming, Ton.
I brought these plus...
That's a good one.
"Acuto di Soprano."
I serve it at my house. It's from Avellino.
My grandfather said that some
of my ancestors were winemakers...
but what the fuck do I know, huh?
Thanks, Ton.
- That's gonna be a treasure.
- Yeah, well, whatever.
Larry! What the fuck are you doing here?
- I thought you were under house arrest?
- Fuck them.
I ever see that prison doctor,
God forbid, I'm gonna say:
"Fuckstick, they ever show you these
in medical school? They're called balls."
Good for you!
Listen, I can't stay.
I got a meeting I gotta go to.
Got something I wanna say.
My cousin Anthony
went into business for himself...
We all know this.
In a way, for which there is no excuse.
He's got a problem with rage.
He disappointed me, Anthony, in
ways that I can't even begin to tell you.
And he put us all at risk.
Irregardless...
it's been made clear to me
that if they put their hands on him...
he will not be dealt with quick.
I'm talking torture.
For that reason, even if I knew
where my cousin was... And I do not.
I would not deliver him up to them.
I am offering him the same protection
that I would offer any of you...
in similar circumstances.
I know what you're gonna say:
"I would never do what he did."
God bless, I hope not.
But we are a family.
And even in this fucked-up day and age,
that means something.
So we are gonna deal with this
as a family, together...
no matter how it affects anybody
personal safety-wise...
financially-wise, whatever.
I see that my nephew isn't here
and it's important he lam it now.
It's my desire that you circle
the wagons, you support him.
Until and as such.
Raymond, sorry I can't stay.
- Happy birthday, huh?
- Thanks.
- Gentlemen, enjoy your dinner.
- See you, T.
Thank you. That was great.
Thought you had Raymond's dinner.
I left early.
It's nice you're home.
There's chicken parm.
Was Christopher there?
No.
- You know him and Adriana broke up?
- No.
This kid. That's his trouble.
He keeps it all bottled up.
Then they wonder why
they get chemical dependencies.
Do you think there was somebody else?
Because there was this one night,
way back.
It was movie night with the girls.
Adriana was very upset.
She wanted to get something
off her chest. Then she ran out crying.
You know,
I'll bet she was seeing somebody.
You never know about people.
His plans were often
startling, instinctive, spontaneous...
and not infrequently obscure.
His men idolized him
and had boundless faith in him.
After being promoted in 1916,
he joyfully returned home on leave...
to marry his sweetheart,
Lucie Maria Mollin.
She would be
the love of his life to its end.
Rommel saw the huge assault
on France forming...
and he saw that the new
armored weapon would be at the...
I still love this old house so much.
I should do half so good
with my stupid project.
Panzer Division, was almost
precisely what he had done as a lieutenant.
Yeah.
He was directing
the efforts of a single tank.
I'm sorry, did you want to be alone?
No. No.
It was blitzkrieg in its purest form.
It was Rommel.
He had what the
Germans call Fingerspitzengef?hl...
which is a sixth sense
of sizing up the situation.
- Hey.
- Claude Rains.
- Thanks for doing this.
- About 1500 there.
It should tide you over.
- Hey, Sil.
- Hey, kid.
You want something? Fries?
- Fucking something this situation, huh?
- Right.
I can't even get down to Milt's.
Fence some jewelry.
Everybody with eyes in the back
of their head. Shit, I was Tony's driver.
It's amazing. You want me to be honest?
The favoritism Tony still shows
for our fucking cousin...
after what he's done?
What does Tony B. have on this guy?
I'm supposed to take a bullet
for this skive.
After all your uncle's done for you,
I need to get into specifics?
Said you went home.
Trisha. Just heard her old man died.
I'll give her a call.
Actually, I been hanging around
on purpose.
I gotta talk to you, Ton.
About what?
Ton, I've been the consigliere
for a lot of years...
Don't go into a fucking preamble.
Just tell me what's on your mind.
- You got some unhappy people out there.
- No shit.
Not just the young guys.
Guys that have been with you
since the beginning.
Since before the beginning.
Guys who worked for your father.
- Fucking Paulie, right?
- I'm not saying nothing.
- Yeah, well, goddamn him.
- These guys, Ton...
will do whatever you order.
- Except in this case.
- Don't say it like that.
Forget that Blundetto's my cousin.
I give him up, we can give
the whole fucking thing up.
Here's where the conversation
gets difficult.
- Go.
- All due respect...
you were ready to hand
him your cousin a week ago.
It's not about standing with the guys
or upholding some rules. Not really.
Then what's it all about?
Why don't you illuminate me?
It's about you don't wanna eat shit
from John.
You don't wanna bow down.
You told him to go fuck himself...
which, to be honest,
wasn't exactly appropriate, considering.
- Oh, is that right?
- All due respect.
What the fuck do you know
what goes on in my head?
I known you since you were a kid, Ton.
Frankly, you got a problem
with authority.
This attitude of yours...
it's a lot of what's made you
an effective leader.
But we all got flaws. Even you.
Seven deadly sins and yours is pride.
All due respect.
You got no fucking idea
what it's like to be number one.
Every decision you make affects every
facet of every other fucking thing.
It's too much to deal with almost.
And in the end,
you're completely alone with it all.
I'm sorry you feel that way.
This is the course I've chosen.
And those of you that are not
with me on it...
well, that makes me sad
and it'll be dealt with in time.
You need me for anything else?
- Benny, right?
- How you doing, Mr. Leotardo?
I'm sitting listening to WFAN and I go,
"Isn't that the kid that drove for Tony?"
I'm on my way to the hospital.
Well, that's up to you.
No, no, I mean my mom, she...
- Where's your boss's friend?
- What friend?
Don't fuck with me, kid.
Don't fuck with me!
- Where's Blundetto?
- I don't know!
It's a start.
- Hey, Ton.
- Hey, Ton.
Jesus.
He has a fractured skull.
- Is he talking at all?
- A little.
Listen, Ben, I want you to know
that this is all gonna be taken care of...
through the plumbers union
health plan. I'm gonna see to that.
You know what? We were talking here...
and it's time you get
your own customers.
You're getting a little too old
to be beating people up.
- Where's Larry?
- He's staying home.
He's the boy's godfather.
He called me,
said he was gonna be down here.
House arrest.
All right.
This is fucked up.
- What do you wanna do about it?
- What do I wanna do about it?
I want that man
to do something about it.
I want him to give us the okay
to drive to Brooklyn...
clean some fucking timepieces
over there.
Tony Blundetto
whacked the brother of a captain.
Tony tried to strike at them again?
We should take him out.
Look, just give me that first one,
the Oregonian, 39.95.
Oh, you're sending a fruit basket
to the kid. He'll appreciate it.
It's for Mel. The poor guy had
a stroke, you believe it?
- He's younger than me.
- Melvoin?
- Jesus Christ, that's terrible.
- That's why I asked you to come over.
His speech. He'll sound
a little stonato, probably forever.
But get this.
Nine months, maybe a year...
till he can work a full schedule.
They'll have to postpone my retrial.
No shit.
The question is should I use the stall...
but then get a lawyer
who's more with it?
So you heard about this thing
with Phil and John?
- Bobby said something about this.
- But you're losing money, probably.
- I am? How much?
- Oh, you gotta talk to him.
- John?
- Bobby!
Does John do your collections?
Look, Uncle Jun, what do you think?
John beat one of my guys
to within an inch of his life.
Next time he's gonna kill somebody.
But what can I do? It's my cousin.
Did I give them the office address
or the home?
- I'm talking.
- The man had a stroke.
You want it to go to the wrong place?
It's fruit. It'll rot.
Hey. I painted myself into a corner here.
And I don't see a way out.
But he wasn't made, right?
The kid. Phil's son.
It's okay, forget it.
I'm sorry, but I'm fucking
nonplussed with all this news.
Frankly, I don't know. You're going
a little squirrelly in this house.
- Tell Phil.
- Tell Phil what?
Where you going?
You wanted to confer with me?
It's not important.
Make sure you eat a lunch today.
Poor fucking Feech La Manna.
Tony sent the wrong ex-con back to jail.
You realize I had a container of imported
provolone coming into that port Saturday?
That fucking Phil
and them put it on a truck...
took it to Westchester instead of
Rahway where we always split the loads.
Jesus. That shit is liquid gold.
Tony knows what has to be done.
Tell John where to find Tony Blundetto.
He just won't do it.
As if he even knows where Tony B. is.
Give me a fucking break.
Of course he knows.
- It's Christopher I feel for.
- Please. Let me tell you something.
Anthony Soprano is very adroit at keeping
his family out of the fucking frying pan.
Both cousins. The rest of us:
How is life now that you're back home?
Carmela?
I had a dream a couple weeks ago.
Before I moved back, recurring dream.
- See my old coach from high school.
- What happens?
Well, see he told me back then,
this guy, he said...
- Said that I was special.
- You never told me this.
Why now?
Does everything I drag here
gotta be a dead dog?
I went to see my son's football coach.
See, he was starting my boy...
now coach is going to this other kid.
What's the reason?
Well, A.J.'s just devoting more energy
to academics.
He wants to get
into a good school.
How's things on other fronts?
Your cousin?
Well, you touched on something there
that's not so good.
- What's the problem?
- I really can't talk to you about it.
This is very difficult for me
treating you...
when so much of your life
is closed off.
How many times can I say this?
Look, I'm not trying to be difficult here.
It affects me tremendously,
this trouble he's gotten himself into.
So I'm upset.
Well...
And I care about him so much.
You care about him so much?
We spent hours
getting to the realization...
that your feelings for your cousin
stem from guilt and shame.
Do you remember that?
- Do you care?
- It's just that it doesn't matter now...
It's just that here we are as always,
back at square one.
With you going into
high sentimentality mode.
Sentimentality mode?
We were children together!
Look, it's a lot like with your son.
Here's what I bet the coach
didn't tell you.
What you wanted to hear most...
is that your son is special too.
What I'm saying is,
whatever you wanna do...
vis-?-vis your cousin,
your son, whoever, own your feelings.
I'm very confused.
But we can't talk about it.
It's my mess.
All my choices were wrong.
- How much?
- It's 5 bucks.
It's 5 bucks.
Your cup's your admission pass.
- Where they from?
- Montville.
- They gotta go.
- Totally.
- Hello?
- Chiara!
- Hi!
- You gotta come up Greenbrook Road.
Patrick said to tell you guys
some people have bogus cups.
They brought them with them
to get out of paying.
Hey, man. Let me see your cup.
- It's back in the Athletic Department.
- We're getting ripped off.
You think this is like downloading music?
That beer's ours unless you pay for it.
Fucking manners!
Yeah!
Oh, come on.
Speak.
Hello?
Hello? Hello.
- Who is it?
- Open this door.
Wanna talk to you.
I hear you got some beefs.
Do you wanna phone everybody?
What the fuck?
I know you said
you wanted it burnt, T...
but the picture moved me.
It's because you knew it cost me
an arm and a leg.
It's museum-quality work, I admit that.
But I told the guys, the chance
to hang a picture of you on my wall.
I rescued it from the flames.
What's with the hat and shit?
Don't give me "huh."
You know what it does to me?
- To be reminded of that fucking horse?
- I'm sorry, T.
But you never come here no more.
I didn't figure it'd be a problem.
I never come here no more
because they're watching all our houses.
- It's no good for us to visit.
- I know.
What do you get a big laugh out of that?
- That's no joke, T.
- Then what the fuck is it?
That's no joke. That cost me a lot
of money to get the retouching done.
What the fuck you do it for?
Don't bullshit me, Paulie.
Part of it, all right, was to fix
some fire damage on the guy's feet.
But while I was at it I also thought
I don't have a modern look in here.
So go with something more traditional.
Something that catches
more of what you're about.
A goddamn lawn jockey?
That's not a lawn jockey.
That's a general.
What general? Who?
It's not a real general from history.
It's you.
What the fuck?
Speak.
He's at 146 Route 9A, Kinderhook.
- Skip.
- How's it going?
- Hey.
- Hey, Ton.
We got you your bialys and coffee.
Johnny Sack called for you.
Called a couple of times.
He seemed to be upset about something.
Good bialy.
Any time, boss.
Catch you later.
Take it easy, Ton.
- What?
- It didn't solve a thing.
- It's over, John.
- The fuck it is!
He's beside himself now.
The best thing for him,
for you, for all of us...
is to put this thing behind us
and get back to business.
- How is that supposed to happen?
- Something we gotta talk about.
As a first step I'd consider giving Phil...
quarter of my points
in the Bloomfield operation...
which my cousin was running.
I'm at Columbia Pres all day.
My yearly physical.
An hour already
I'm waiting for this doctor.
Then I got bone density tests, lipids.
Come to the city tonight, we'll sit down.
No offense, John, but I got
an IQ of 136. It's been tested.
All right. Tomorrow morning then,
my house, 6:30.
- What?
- I'm on a 9 a.m. flight to Miami.
- I have to get things in line down there.
- John...
You think I'm gonna give you ammazz
with Ginny upstairs?
- If you don't hear from me, I'll be there.
- Tony. You and you alone.
I'm not having Phil. Nobody.
- Who is it?
- It's me.
Go up to the farm
and pick up your cousin.
I need you to go up there now,
this morning.
May be over. But watch your back.
Take him off the premises, obviously.
Should be buried.
- It should be you that does it.
- You got it.
We never got a chance to talk
in detail about Adriana.
I know.
If you let something slip...
if she saw anything.
There was a couple of times I had her
with me picking up collections.
Esplanade.
The cigarettes, she was
always nosing around.
Did you ever say anything about Ralph?
Or the Bevilaqua kid?
- No.
- Would you remember?
I swear on my life.
You won't find any of that.
I'm reading, I'm lifting weights.
I know what you think, Ton,
but you'll see.
I'm gonna prove myself to you.
I only chipped that once,
on the day with her.
She was willing to rat me out because
she couldn't do five fucking years.
- I thought she loved me.
- She's a cunt.
Does no good to think about that now.
All right, so...
No, he does like her.
Because he told me.
- I've heard you talking in here all night.
- Could you knock?
You said you would be
finishing your Stroudsburg application.
You're gonna stroke out if
you can't find a way to control yourself.
- I know.
- Hang that phone up.
Call me back later?
I don't know what to say, you know.
Those applications are late,
you are cooked. It's that simple.
And I do know this because
I have raised you from day one...
you won't like working at McDonald's.
Could you amp up the drama a little?
You know what?
I don't like the sarcasm.
And I don't want you around here
next year sponging off of us.
So fine. I am withholding all allowance
until those applications are done.
That's not even practical
and you know it.
- What's the matter?
- He hasn't done his applications...
he isn't getting allowance.
No allowance.
- Well, I have $300 of my own money.
- How?
Me and Matt put on a party.
Five dollars a person.
We made 600 bucks after expenses.
- What expenses?
- The band.
Is that what you've been
on the phone about?
It may interest you to know,
people said it was the best party all year.
- There was drinking, I suppose?
- We just let people into Matt's house.
What they brought
was not under our control.
Do your applications. Now.
What?
You know, it's interesting.
- I was talking to his college adviser.
- Who, Wegman?
No, A.J. got switched around,
Miss Merrow.
She mentioned that
A.J. talked to her once...
about what might be good schools
to study event planning.
Event planning?
What the hell is it?
I am not really sure.
- It's gay, isn't it?
- I don't know.
I know you're around
a lot of wealthy people.
And then he watches that DVD
over and over again.
The one with Mike Myers about...
What's his name? ...Steve Rubell,
the Studio 54 guy.
Oh, Jesus.
Yeah, but I mean, you know it...
Well, I guess, you know.
I don't know.
He's fired up about something at least.
So? Go ahead.
Phil has to know that punishment has
been meted out and that's all there is.
And that what we are here for
in the end...
is to put food on the table
for our families...
our sons, the future.
That's what's important.
He doesn't accept that.
His family's smaller by one.
Well then, my friend,
it's up to you to make him accept it.
- Me?
- Let's talk, John...
about the 500-pound elephant
in the room.
Which is that you started
this cycle of bloodshed...
when you whacked the girl
Carmine used to fuck.
Lorraine Calluzo was not a girl.
And what kind of a man
bangs his second cousin?
What are you, the frigging cardinal?
Look, you wanna shut down
our joint construction jobs?
Eat K rations? Fine.
You want Phil to put one
in one of my guys?
That'll go a long way to making you
the rich prick you always wanted to be.
What do you suggest?
Well, whatever his legitimate sorrow,
he's got a price.
He wants to provide for his family.
- And?
- And what?
Meet his price. And that's it.
I don't wanna hear nothing else.
- Oh, you don't?
- I paid enough, John.
I paid a lot.
Maybe I could sell it.
Truth is we've had discussions.
I gave him the sports book.
Why didn't you say that right off?
You cheap fuck.
Because I don't like it.
- He'll want consigliere...
- All right, let's not go backwards now.
These people you run into
wanna be boss, huh?
- They should know.
- I told you.
You don't listen, you nut.
It's good seeing you again.
Still look forward to working
with you, John. I mean that.
- You want a coffee?
- Oh, I don't know...
Oh, my fucking Christ.
FBI! Open up!
FBI!
Oh, my God!
I'm the gardener! I'm the...
Absolutely, put him on.
Anthony?
The Feds just hit Johnny Sack.
You heard anything?
I had Gendler on my cell phone
all the way over here.
Jimmy Petrille was a cooperator.
Brooklyn AUSA took down
the whole Petrille crew, plus Johnny.
Would have reached
all the way to Carmine Sr...
if he hadn't died.
Jimmy Petrille? He's a sweet old guy.
He gave them gambling,
homicides, trafficking.
Eighteen fucking years' worth.
It's a major kreplach, my friend.
- I was fucking there.
- What? Where?
Johnny's house.
My car's still in the driveway.
I'm walking three miles
towards my house.
No law against parking your car,
unless it's in front of a hydrant.
I'm not laughing, Neil.
No, of course not.
Anyway, you weren't named
in the indictment obviously.
It's Brooklyn.
They weren't coming for you.
So frankly, were I you,
I might actually consider laughing.
Or rub a hunchback's hump.
Or something.
- Yeah.
- Be of good cheer.
Call you when I hear more.
What happened to you?
Your shoes are soaking wet.