The Sopranos (1999–2007): Season 3, Episode 12 - Amour Fou - full transcript

Meadow, do you have a tampon?

I'm spotting and the dispenser
in the ladies room is out.

You had an examination?

I don't know what's happening.

This is the middle of the month,
this never happens to me.

Here.

Imagine having your portrait in a
museum like this.

She's just the wife of some rich
merchant, mom.

That's how Rubens made his money.

You sure talk the talk,
"miss art history."

I have never seen grades
like this from you.

Well, you take Intro to Semiotics.

If you spent more
time in your books

and less in Jackie's car...

please...

that is so over.

Just like that? What happened?

Are you crying?

What's the matter?

I don't know, just look at it.

Jusepe de Ribera.

"The mystical marriage
of St. Catherine."

That's the baby Jesus.

She's marrying a baby? Good luck.

We all do.

What?

I shouldn't be sarcastic.

Just look at her

with the little baby's
hand against her cheek.

She's so at peace.

That beautiful, innocent,

gorgeous little baby.

C'mon, let's go eat.

Tony?

Oh, Tony, c'mon.

I'm sorry about what happened,
you won't return my phone calls.

Go fuck yourself!

Tony...

we have something
too special to just--

over one argument.

One argument?

You threw a fuckin' dinner
at my head, Gloria.

If you were a guy,

I don't have to tell you
where you'd be right now.

You were late!

You kept me waiting three hours--

what about the present?

You take a nice thought,
a nice present,

you throw it out the window
in the fuckin' Barnegat Bay.

Alright...

I'm having a really
bad couple of weeks.

Shit with my family and other crap...

I was trying to act all in control
and not dwell on it.

It's no excuse, but...

so, what, you can't talk to
me about your problems?

I didn't want to bother you with it.

Well, I had a lot on my plate.

Can I see you later?

I'm late for my appointment.

Me and this broad,

we're like leather and lace,

a burning ring of fire.

Whatever the fuck.

Amour fou...

as the French call it.

Crazy love, all consuming.

That's it.

I tell ya, we push
each other's buttons.

Most people don't
push your buttons.

That's not true.

I know you think
I'm like a hard, cold,

captain of industry-type.

That's not all there is.

I don't know.

She gets freaky.

What do you think?

Is she a full blown
looptiloo or what?

As you well know, I cannot--

discuss another patient.

What if I duck you an extra five?

I'm not charging you
at all this month

because last month you overpaid.

You gave me a lot of
good tips that session.

I won't have it,
don't offer it again.

Alright, alright, Jesus.

Let's get back to Gloria.

She never wants any money neither.

And you like this about her?

She's, you know very
independent-minded.

That I do like.

You see her as independent, strong.

Why? She's not?

We're talking about your perceptions.

She made her own way in the world.

Irina was such a
helpless fuckin' baby.

And Gloria knows a lot,

about a lot of shit.

Buddhism, and the movies.

She went to Morocco
all by herself.

And those eyes...

those dark, black eyes.

When she stares at
you it's like...

like a Spanish princess
in one of those paintings,

a goyim.

Those eyes are deep.

Complicated.

I said deep, you said complicated.

You said dark.

Spit it out.

Whenever I bring her up
you get this weird puss.

And then you ask me,
"does she seem happy?"

Like maybe she's not.

Or, "does she remind
you of somebody?"

With that weird puss on.

Like you don't like it, our mo-fo,

or whatever the fuck
you call our relationship!

You've told me what
you see in Gloria.

What do you think
she sees in you?

Oh, please, huh?

What does she see in me?

I don't know,

with all the fuckin' faggo
and crybabies running around,

whatever else I am, I'm not...

I'm more of a...

you know, like I said,

a captain of industry-type.

You're a tough guy.

Ah, c'mon.

It's okay, you can say it.

C'mon, you embarrass me
with that shit now.

Does Gloria know what
you do for a living?

You mentioned fire.

Can we say that there are
certain kinds of people

that are drawn to fire?

Looking for an inevitable result?

Like a moth to a flame?

And this is Gloria?

And I'm the flame?

Why would anybody hit
you, of all people,

with a side of beef?

She's complicated.

I said complicated.

Dark, you said.

I said her eyes are dark.

Nice.

Not bad.

Since we're kicking up,

we were hoping you could, you know,

watch our back?

350 buys you a hello.

Watching your back,

that's gonna require

a little more initiative on
your part.

Oh, look at the face.

What's he got to
be frowning about?

Tell me, Romeo,

now that you moved back home,

are you gonna be humpin'

Tony Soprano's little girl
on our couch?

Fuck her.

Tony too, with his "stay in
school" bullshit.

He could've reached ou
t to somebody at Rutgers.

He should break the dean's legs

'cause you're too lazy
to read a fuckin' book.

Now go ahead, I gotta make
some calls.

You did good.

Keep coming by...

go, go!

I knew a Moroccan guy once.

Hit and ran me, I tracked him down.

I never forget a fez.

Jesus Christ.

That's the oldest joke in the book.

Jesus Christ.

Hello?

No, you have the wrong number.

What?

I thought it might be my sister.

That family shit you
were telling me about?

Yeah.

It's okay if you don't
want to talk about it.

Really.

She said I can never see
my niece and nephew again.

Right before Christmas.

We had a new Santa Claus at our
Christmas party in the neighborhood.

He wasn't very good.

I love those two children so much.

She said I was turning them
against their father, which I wasn't.

Not that he doesn't deserve it,

fucking crackhead sack of shit.

Hannah and Seamus go to this

like, alternative
private elementary school

in Santa Monica.

Where it's all about the
childrens' self esteem.

I hate that shit.

So, I happened to ask Hannah,
she's in the third grade,

"Are you gonna be in
the Christmas play?"

And she says, "We don't call it
the Christmas play,

we call it the winter festival."

So I go, "Whatever,"
I don't say anything.

And then Seamus says,

"we're not allowed
to say Christmas,

we call Christmas "the c word."

And I fuckin' flipped out.

What did Seamus say?

The fuck does he know, he's 10.

So my sister gets all pissed off

because her husband, their father,

teaches at the school.

Except for he's on medical leave for
substance abuse treatment.

And one thing led to another

and she said I always
had it in for John.

And she forbid me to
ever see them again.

He smokes crack, this fuck?

Without those two kids...

maybe we'll all get lucky.

The way these trucks go by out here,

maybe I'll get plastered
onto a grill.

Hey, what the fuck?

I'm just kidding, it never rains.

I think they're gonna
fire me over at globe.

Fucking Arnie Mills
sexually harasses me

and then dares me to sue.

Mm-hmm.

Anyway,

fuck 'em.

You like this song?

It's okay.

I love this song.

Guys, if you're gonna
smoke, take it outside.

Fuck's the matter, you don't
speak English?

Who the fuck are you?

The owner's a dear friend of ours.

That should be enough for you.

Fuck him, too.

What'd you fuckin' say?

Chill, chill, relax!

Jackie,

what are you doin'?

It's alright, it's under control.

Go find a fuckin' Taco Bell
before I cap your asses.

Get the fuck outta here.

Oh, shit, here, take this.

Fuck no, bro, he's a made guy.

He's gonna flip when he
sees this shit.

Roy's his aunt's cousin.

What's up?

Hey, Chris.

The fuck happened?

Ask your buddy here.

These spics came in, you know,
disrespecting the place.

So, I had to straighten them out.

You had to straighten
them out, how many?

Three.

Goddamn fuckin' craziness.

You alright, Roy?

20 years, I'm collecting
these things.

What the fuck, it's only glass.

Have a seat.

So, how's business,
you making money?

We're doing alright,
why, you got something?

My favorite, a truck.

Cigarettes.

Sounds good.

But we're kinda with Ralphie now.

Besides, wouldn't Tony go fuckin'
ballistic if I was in on it?

Hey, unless they're
paying your nut,

nobody has a right
to tell anybody else

how to earn a fuckin' living.

Finally, thank you.

Ralphie, huh?

Well, if you ever think about
jumpin' ship,

you know my number.

I need the paperwork
on the preowned c-five.

Mrs. Soprano?

Yes.

The courtesy van's
stuck in traffic.

It should only be maybe 20 minutes.

Oh, well,

maybe I'll just call a cab.

That's okay, Jerry,
I'll give her a lift.

I'm going out anyway.

Gloria Trillo.

Carmela Soprano, you're sure you
don't mind?

Gimme a minute, let
me just grab a demo.

This is very sweet of you.

Don't believe it.

Everybody's a potential sale.

So, what do you do?

I'm a homemaker.

Oh.

You must make a very nice home
to drive a Benz.

So, you're married.

Yes.

Kids?

Two.

You?

No, to both.

Boys, girls?

One boy, one girl.

The boy's still in high school

and my daughter's in college.

She's not too far away though.

She's in New York City.

She's at Columbia, actually.

School of broadcasting?

No, no, the university.

It's in the Ivy League,
it's one of the top schools.

I know, I was just kidding.

Oh.

Right.

These kids today...

they got the world
by the you know what.

Yeah, tell me about it.

At least your daughter doesn't
have to latch on to a man for success.

Thank God.

That's a beautiful ring.

Thank you.

What does your husband do?

Well, he's involved
in a few businesses.

Sounds mysterious.

No, no, it's not really.

My daughter calls us bourgeois.

Well, thank you so much, really.

Oh, it was no problem.

It was very nice to meet you.

You too.

Nice house.

Thank you.

I'll tell you,

the thing I like about Moltisanti?

He'll even tell Tony Soprano to
go fuck himself.

The guy's fearless.

Who's fearless?

Nobody, Chris Moltisanti.

Where's my mother?

She's an early riser.

What about Moltisanti?

Nothing, we were just saying he's
young to be made,

that kinda shit.

He wanted it,

so he stepped up and took it.

It's like your old man
and Tony Soprano.

How do you think they got
their name on the marquee?

How?

We got any marshmallows?

C'mon, what about my father?

When we was kids we
had our own little crew,

me, your dad, buon anima,

Tony, Silvio Dante.

We'd do Mickey Mouse scores,

moving pot...

swag, bullshit stuff.

We thought we were like
the sixth family.

But who the fuck knew
we was even alive, right?

Till one fuckin' night,

and I gotta give your
father credit for this.

He had balls

as big as an Irish broad's ass.

There was this old...

old mustache named...

Feech Lamanna.

Now, what the hell "Feech"
meant who the fuck knows,

but, he was made
on the other side,

so you know, he was an original.

He was an O.G.

Whatever.

He had this Saturday
night card game.

Your father sees this
as our big chance

to step up to the "A" league.

Connected or not,

him, me, and Tony were gonna rob it.

We thought your father
lost a marble,

but he said, "fuck it."

Balls.

What happened?

They took it down,

they walked away
with like 20 large.

Jesus Christ.

What do you mean "they"?

You didn't go?

Please...

I'm still sick over it.

I caught the clap from some
hippie broad I was fuckin'.

My dick was dripping
like a busted pipe.

Anyways, the rest is history.

Your father and Tony was on
the fast track to being made

and I

was still a little shit
heel like the two of you.

Then of course, i, whatever,

but that was a few years later.

Did they get away with it?

What could Feech do?

There was a sit-down

and the right people got
some of their money back...

but, the point was made.

Your father and Tony were rising
stars that had to be respected.

Cocksuckers.

Alright, kiddies, that's enough
for tonight.

Oh, Jackie,

make sure you rinse those plates
before you put them in the dishwasher.

It clogs.

We can't help but be amazed

at the instincts they possess...

to protect all manner of livestock,

to be protective of us.

What can we do to protect them?

Nurture the defenses
they were born with

using the natural body
defense system in pedigree.

What is wrong with me?

Pedigree...

hi, there.

Are you drunk?

How 'bout right here?

You would, wouldn't you, huh?

Does my car look slanted?

Oh, shit.

If I have a flat.

Oh, my God.

Jesus Christ.

So creepy.

Why?

I don't know.

What?

What?

You know who did this, don't you?

The fuck you talking about?

I saw that look.

The least you could
do is not lie to me.

What do I know about
your friggin' tires?

Fine.

Thanks for your help.

Alright.

One time,

my ex-girlfriend, she, you know,

got a little jealous
and she slashed my tires.

And that thought went throug
my mind briefly just then.

But it couldn't have been her.

Who, the cunt that called the boat?

Stata zit' with that.

Stata zit', my
car is fucked!

You work for a dealership.

What do you think, I get new free
fucking tires?

So, I'll pay for it, what's the
big fuckin' deal?

Alright, now, why would
you offer to pay for them

if you didn't have a guilty
fuckin' conscience?

About what?

Well, I don't know, you tell me.

This is fucking bullshit.

I'm going home.

Oh, yeah? Who else would do it?

Who knows, kids maybe.

Ruin a great fuckin' evening
over this shit!

Kids?

don't know, maybe your fucking
brother-in-law.

Maybe Mr. Globe down at Globe Motors,

since you're America's fuckin'
sweetheart this week.

Oh, where the fuck do you get off?

This immigrant, alcoholic,

fuckin' probably HIV-laden slut...!

Slashes my tires

and you have the fuckin' nerve

to call my life into question?

She wouldn't do it!

I slapped the piss
out of her last time!

Oh...

did you?

Did you really hit her?

Alright, look...

she's a poor, confused kid

from an underdeveloped country,

even if she did do this...

I'll make a couple of calls,

I'll have two brand new
Michelins here in an hour.

What are these,

85 R-16s, what?

Jesus Christ.

17s!

Gene Pontecorvo's got a card game,

we can take it down right now.

What are you fuckin' crazy?
He's with Ralph.

So, for all intents and purposes,
that's Ralph's game.

That's even better.

Fuck him and his "rinse your
dishes" bullshit.

You know what?

I think he's a fuckin' secret fag.

I don't know, Jackie.

Maybe we take Carlo too,
he's got a shotgun.

We wear masks, we go in,

we're out in like two minutes.

What if they find out that it's us?

We want them to.

Not right away, but,
you know, like Ralph said.

And even when they do, you
know it's gonna get squashed.

My old man was Jackie Aprile.

The worse that'll happen, we
have to give some of it back.

We pull this off,
we're like free agents.

We dictate the
terms, not them.

'Cause we show balls.

Go on, call Carlo.

Fuck.

There's no signal.

I'd have to be pretty stup
to write a book about killing

and then kill somebody
the way I described...

use that phone.

Oh yeah, this one.

C'mon, hurry up, call Carlo.

They show my favorite part yet?

No, I think it's coming up.

The answer's no.

I didn't kill him.

C'mon, move over, gimme me some room.

Fuck you, it's my house.

Here it comes.

Yeah!

Would you like a cigarette, Nick?

You two know each other?

No.

No.

I went to see a
psychiatrist, father.

The that's why Father Intintola
suggested I talk to you.

He said that you were getting

a doctorate in psychiatry
from Seton Hall.

Psychology.

The psychiatrist told me
that my whole life is a lie

and he's right.

And now I think I'm sick...

and if I die, I will never
be with God in eternity.

You're ill?

I'm pretty sure I have ovarian cancer.

What does your doctor say?

I haven't seen one.

I'm afraid.

Why do you think you're ill?

I'm spotting,

and lower back pain.

My hormones are all over the place.

My cousin Kathy died from it.

God doesn't punish people

for mistakes they've made.

He loves you more than you know.

Have you thought that
with your symptoms

you might be carrying a child?

I know, that's another--

would you be more comfortable

if we set the sacrament
aside for a moment

and stepped into my office?

The psychiatrist said that
I should leave my husband.

May God forgive me, when he
said that it seemed so right.

You made a sacred vow.

Divorce is out of the question.

Unless...

is he abusive, your husband?

Not to me, but he is unfaithful.

He's a good man basically, but...

I talked to Father Intintola
about all this years ago

and here I still am.

Do you love your husband?

I do.

I love my husband and I love God.

But, my life is financed by crime...

his crime.

$50,000 to my daughter's college.

The psychiatrist says
it's all blood money.

And now to maybe bring
another child into this?

God understands

that we all live in
the middle of tensions.

You say your husband
has good in him.

What you have to do

is learn to live on
what the good part earns.

The what?

There's a point inside yourself,

an inner boundary

beyond which you feel culpable.

You've got to come
to an awareness

of where that line is

and forego those things
which lay without it.

The church has changed so much.

It's a complex world.

Learn to live on the good part.

Forego those things
that lay without it.

I think I can do that, Father.

I'll try.

And go see an ob-gyn.

This mad cow disease.

I think it's terrible the English
government didn't tell people sooner.

Maybe they didn't want
to create a stampede.

Oh, by the way,

guess which former medical student

is no longer dating
the queen of mean?

You're kidding.

Jackie Jr. And Meadow
are finished?

Frankly, I am delighted.

Angie Bonpensiero said
that Kevin told her

that Jackie was smoking marijuana

and he was caught cheating
on an exam at Rutgers.

Gee, that bad?

She would've been better
off with that black kid.

He's got a 4. 0

and he's moving
to India for the U.N.

I told you.

She wasted three months
with Jackie Jr.

Hello.

Mrs. Soprano?

Gloria Trillo, Globe Motors.

Oh, hi, of course, how are you?

I hope I'm not calling
you at a bad time.

But the new E-320 just came in

and I thought you might
want to take a look at it.

Oh, no, I don't think so,
thank you though.

I still have another year
on my lease.

Run it by your husband,
maybe he'll wanna treat you.

Okay, maybe I will.

Thank you for calling.

Okay, bye.

Hope to see ya.

Buh-bye.

What a nice woman.

Who?

Just some saleswoman
from Globe Motors.

What?

She wants me to test drive
the new E-Series wagon.

And I'm not interested,

but she was awfully
nice to me the other day.

She gave me a ride home while
they serviced the wagon.

But I really should hold onto it
for another year, don't you think?

Another year...

yeah.

I was just wondering if we could
switch days off.

Just give me a minute,
could you, Martin?

I just thought--

yeah, yeah, sure, I just got a
customer coming in, alright?

Tony.

Don't you fuckin' "Tony" me.

Are you out of your fucking
mind talking to my wife?

I was upset about your
ex-girlfriend, alright?

"Poor, confused kid",

I thought you should
see my version.

I'm sorry, alright?

You drove her home.

What the fuck?

Then you look right into my eyes
and you don't tell me?

Alright, it's just normal

to be curious about
someone that you love's

significant others.

No, it's not, it's fuckin' twisted.

No, it is not.

Look, I don't want to argue with you.

You're upset, and I understand

it's on the margins
for someone like you

and I'm sorry and it'll
never happen again, ever.

No shit.

Now you can tell your shrink you
ruined eight relationships.

What do you mean?

It's fucking over.

Tony!

You see, Tuesday, I can take my
kid to hear Raffi.

Left ovary....

right ovary.

Just tell me right out, Dr. Rotelli.

Don't mince words.

I really did not feel comfortable

with everybody knowing
my personal life.

Where's this asshole now?

What'd he have, like one song?

What are you doing?

We should be out
doing what we gotta do.

Call Carlo, tell him
to bring his shit.

Who the fuck was
Feech Lamanna anyways?

You know what? Don't come.

You want to spend the rest of your
life with your head up your ass,

be my guest.

How's your calimar' salad?

I don't think he's using
the right olive oil.

You haven't said
two words, Carmela.

I'm sorry.

I just came from Dr. Rotelli's.

Oh, my God, is everything alright?

Apparently I've never been better.

Just a little thyroid thing.

Thank God.

I thought I was pregnant.

Bite your tongue!

At our age?

I don't know,

with the kids growing up
and everything.

What I'd give to have a grandchild.

Terry and her husband
are trying again, but...

speaking of grandkids

I am just sick about
Jackie and Meadow.

I asked him what happened,

he tells me to mind
my own business.

So does she in so many words.

They broke up?

Is Meadow okay?

Oh, please, that girl is so
different than I was at her age.

It just rolls off her back.

There's no weight loss,
no sleepless nights.

Not like the grief we go
through with our husbands.

That's 'cause we married
these walyos.

It's not just us.

The President of the United States,
for crying out loud.

Look what his wife
had to put up with,

with the blow jobs
and the stained dress.

Hillary Clinton?

I can't stand that woman.

I don't know.

Maybe we could all take a page
from her book.

What, to be humiliated in public

and then walk around
smiling all the time?

That is so false.

I would dig a hole,
I would climb into it

and I would not come out.

All I know is, she stuck by him

and put up with the bullshit,

and in the end, what did she do?

She set up her own little thing.

She did.

She took all that
negative shit he gave her

and spun it into gold.

You gotta give her credit.

That's true, isn't it?

She's a role model for all of us.

The case is still pending.

They could try me on a
simple mail and wire fraud

but they're holding out,

they'd rather fold it
into a major RICO.

Tony, line two.

Who is it?

I don't know, it's a woman.

I think she's crying.

Let me get back to you.

Hello?

Tony?

I don't know...

I don't know...

I can't understand you.

I don't know what
you're trying to say.

I can't take it anymore.

...stay...

I don't know why...

Tony...

Tony.

Thanks for coming.

Alright.

You want something to drink?

No.

I'm sorry.

There's no one else I can talk to.

What about him?

Laugh if you want, he does help.

Yeah, he's a regular
Captain Marvel.

I just want it to
be the way it was.

I love you.

Stop it, Gloria.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Quit fuckin' crying,
I can't stand it.

I want to be with you.

Well, that's not gonna happen.

I know.

I know.

My life's a trip to nowhere.

You bring it on yourself.

You're a beautiful,

talented woman...

but...

you push a man away.

It's not gonna happen again.

The other night with the tires,

I'm a grown man.

I've had other women.

You think I lived in a freezer
before I met you?

Fine.

I'll sit back like a mute

while you screw
every woman out there.

See, there's that tone again.

Look...

it's over.

We had our

amour fouor whatever.

And it was great.

And now it's time to put it to bed.

What'd you think

that you could treat me
like some stupid fucking

goombah housewife?

You think I'm gonna let some
fucker shit all over me

just 'cause he buys me

some ridiculous gaudy fucking ring?

Where the fuck do you get off?

You don't care.

You think you're the
only one with problems?

You think my life's
a fuckin' picnic?

Oh, poor you.

You got a fuckin' dream
life compared to mine.

Nobody cares if I'm alive or dead!

I didn't just meet you.

I've known you my whole fuckin' life.

That's right.

Take a dump wherever you please
and then just walk away.

My mother was just like you.

Bottomless black hole.

Oh, the mother now.

I surrender.

Burn me at the stake.

You know what?

You're fuckin' crazy.

All I ever asked for was kindness.

C'mere, c'mere.

You listen to me and
you listen to me good.

No more calls, no more nothing.

You see me, you cross the street.

'Cause you're a dangerous fuck

and I don't want you in my life.

Don't go, don't go!

I'll call your wife!

What'd you say?

I'll go to Columbia,

I'll tell your daughter about us.

C'mon!

C'mere, c'mere.

Now, you listen to me...

you go near my wife or my family

and I'll fuckin' kill
you, you understand me?

I'll fuckin' kill you.

Go ahead, kill me.

Kill me.

Kill me.

You fucking bitch!

Kill me.

Kill me, kill me.

Kill me.

Kill me, kill me, kill me, kill me...

kill me.

Kill me.

Alright, this is it.

I don't care if God comes by,
you don't move this car.

When we go in, you do the talking.

Me?

I know Eugene, he'll
recognize my voice.

Don't worry about it.

When they see this motherfucker,
nobody'll have to say a word.

What's the matter?

I don't know.

You sure you wanna do this?

Why?

Don't you?

Fuck it, let's go down the shore.

Let's do it before the crank
wears off.

Ace, high flush.

Flush talks.

Anybody want a drink?

Nobody fuckin' move!

Just take it easy, alright?

Shit.

Shut the fuck up!

Empty your pockets, all of you!

C'mon!

Very bad, boys, very bad.

This is a low-level game, guys.

The only thing you're gonna
get around here is practice.

You heard what he said,
shut the fuck up!

Take it easy, take it easy!

You guys know who you're robbin'?

Gimme your watch.

Remember the old adage son.

Leave 'em while you're looking good.

Just give it to him, sunshine.

Victory has a hundred fathers

but defeat is an orphan.

Shut up, shut up!

Stop fucking looking at me!

Come on, hurry up!

Let's get the fuck outta here!

If you can keep your head
while those around you can't--

where the fuck is he?

Shit.

Shit, c'mon!

Get the fuck out!

Oh, my God!

Jackie!

Jackie, Jackie!

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Hey, cocksucker.

Chris, please,

we didn't know you were in there.

We're with Ralphie.

Please?

If you're one of
the thousands of men

who suffer from
erectile dysfunction,

you already know that
it's no laughing matter.

What you probably
don't know, however,

is that treatment is covered
by most medical plans--

Dr. Freid, I'm sorry,

your service said
it was an emergency.

Hello?

Jesus Christ.

Not again, Tony.

I can't keep doing this.

I'm in the middle of--

can't he go to the emergency room?

I thought he had a green card.

Manadgia la putana fragita!

Will you shut the fuck up?

You're gonna make him hit an artery.

Just try and relax, let
the sedative do its job.

You should thank God they didn't
hit nothing important.

This fucking prick
is really a doctor?

Close, I'm a prick doctor.

Get it?

While you're here maybe he
can give you a bulge.

Doc, see if you can remove this
lady's underwear.

Ah!

You're gonna be alright.

That little motherfucker.

He's goin', Tony, he's goin' big time.

You sure it was Jackie Jr.?

I find him, I'm doing him tonight.

No, you're not.

Why not?

'Cause I said so.

Why?

I don't gotta explain
anything to you.

Because he's Jackie Aprile's kid?

You're not gonna let this go, you
can't do that!

He took a shot at me,
he tried to kill Furio!

We're made!

Every person you whack,
you risk exposure.

Major murder, that's what the
Feds ask for Christmas.

Bullshit, you're a
fuckin' hypocrite.

What the fuck did you say?

You preach all this wiseguy shit

and meanwhile the only ones who
gotta play by the rules are us!

I loved you!

What happens I decide, not you.

You don't love me anymore,
well, that breaks my heart.

But it's too fuckin' bad,
'cause don't gotta love me.

But you will respect me.

Ralph Cifaretto's here.

What'd we say?

Ton'.

How you doing?

It's terrible, huh?

Ro's going nuts over this.

She knows he hangs around with
this punk Dino and the other one.

Any word from her son?

No.

Alright, c'mon.

This kid...

he did a terrible thing.

Terrible.

Your fucking card game.

I know how close
you are to the family.

I feel for you.

You're living under the same roof.

And it was my card game.

But, what happened to sunshine,

it's a disgrace.

But, tell you the truth, Tony...

I wanna give the kid a pass.

Yeah?

That's just me, though.

I know you got bigger
concerns, you're the boss.

I'll make sure
your orders are done,

whatever they maybe.

I think you should go with
your instincts on this, Ralph.

You do?

But Furio took a hit and Chris.

These are made men.

I'll make sure they
respect your decision.

'Cause I'm sure you're
gonna do the right thing.

That's why I made you captain.

This is Rosalie's kid.

That's why I'll understand
if you wanna give him a pass

and I'm sure everybody
else will too.

And who cares about shit they say

they don't have the balls
to say to your face?

The kid disrespected you.

But they don't have to live
with your commitments.

And hey, your decision
goes the other way,

the one thing you cannot do, Ralph,

you cannot do,

is blame yourself.

You took this kid under your wing.

You schooled him as best you could.

Didn't you?

Jack spoiled him.

I think this is yours.

Stupid kid was carrying it
around during the holidays.

She wanted me to fucking kill her.

Like suicide by cop.

So, she set me up?

From the beginning Gloria saw me

as only a fuckin' hammer?

She loved you.

She looked so good, too,
that day in your office.

Just another Irina
with a college degree.

Ask yourself.

How did you recognize in Gloria,

underneath all her
layers of sophistication,

this deeply wounded, angry being

that would let you
replicate once again

your relationship with your mother.

I don't want to fuck my mother.

I don't give a shit what you say.

You're never gonna convince me.

Not fuck.

Try to please her,

try to win her love.

I'm 40 fuckin' years old.

We need to repeat what's familiar

even if it's bad for us.

Gloria's need for drama,

the selfishness,

the incessant self regard.

At one time, in your mother's hands,

it passed for love.

Alright, look, you're her doctor,

you tell me,

do I gotta worry about this broad?

She says she's gonna
tell Carmela about us.

I honestly can't predict.

But I think we should deal with

why are you so attracted

to dangerous relationships?

Why do you put your marriage
in such danger?

Maybe I'm looking for a way out.

You ever think of that?

Anthony,

you'll never leave your wife.

Bullshit.

There's a limit to how much shit--

she might leave you,

but you'll never leave her.

Despite your mothering,

you made one good
decision in your life

vis-a-vis women,

you're not gonna throw that over.

Your own selfishness is
too strong to let that happen.

Alright, alright.

Actually,

in spite of everything,

you're a very conventional man.

I said alright.

We have to stop now.

Got pep, I'll give it that.

Zero to 60, in under seven seconds.

What's the matter, you don't like me?

Look, I'm not back in 10 minutes,
they call the cops.

Standard operating procedure.

Here's some standard
operating procedure.

Stay the fuck away from Tony Soprano.

Shut the fuck up and listen.

It's over, capisce?

Over and done.

You call or go anywhere
near him or his family

and they'll be scraping your nipples

off these fine leather seats.

And here's the point to remember,

my face is the last one you'll see,

not Tony's.

We understand each other?

It won't be cinematic.

Any word, anything?

He probably went down to Florida.

Ro, I'm sure he's fine.

Ro, c'mon.

Sit down.

Look, um...

this is gonna be hard for you to hear.

Oh, Jesus Christ!

It's okay, it's just...

he's has a very serious
drug problem.

What?

It's coke.

He may owe some money to dealers,

something.

Oh, my God.

I didn't want to tell you this.

Look, we're doing
everything we can.

Look, we're gonna find him,

we'll get him help.

We'll get him into rehab.

Let's just hope he's not too far gone.

It smells good.

Lemon snaps for the
bake sale at church.

You look good.

I went to step today.

Is that why you don't have any
of these looney-tune moods?

Exercise?

Where's your ring?

I had to bring it in to get it sized,
it's a little big.

Hi, it's me.

I'll be home in about 20 minutes.

Yeah, I picked up the stuffed shells.

No, the celantanos,
syou just gotta heat 'em up.