The Sopranos (1999–2007): Season 3, Episode 13 - Army of One - full transcript
Ralphie issues his final decision on the fate of Jackie Jr., Anthony Jr., faces military school after getting expelled, Paulie and Ralphie have a financial conflict while the FBI assigns Adriana meets a new "friend."
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---
I gotta pee.
The janitor
leaves at eight.
You can wait
10 minutes.
Now i gotta pee.
Got it.
Listen to super bowl
35 on the radio...
this is that kid
i was tellin' you about.
He needs to
crash here.
He can get you
a glock 9.
Welcome to the boonton
holiday inn.
My name is leena.
What's your name?
Uh...
i probably
shouldn't say.
Mr. X, then.
You'll be
safe here, bro.
Your guido friends would never
think to look for you here.
How do i open
this door?
Did you like
the room, nucci?
Did you think
it was nice?
That's sammy kahn.
That's one
of my favorites.
I'll hav
e the deposit,
the 40, 000 to you,
end of the week.
If you could
transfer--
we have an even bigger
sing on parisian night
which is fridays.
Oh madonna mi',
they don't eat
snails, do they?
No, coq au vin,
blanket of veal.
Ma?
What's the matter?
My son let's me li
ve in a place like this.
He's such a good boy.
Yeah, well, who's
the queen, huh?
C'mon, now,
dry those peeps.
Listen to this,
19- year- old college
kid in michigan,
he's comin' out for the
nba draft as a sophomore,
he figures he'll go
in the first round...
he's dead...
from crack.
I was thinking
about ro.
And here jackie
had her convinced
he was just smokin
g a little marijuana,
making cs in school.
And he was dealing
hard drugs.
You never know
with your kids.
It's like
i been saying...
the shit that can
happen over drug money.
Well, you tried,
tony, with that boy.
Nice haul, cracking
that strong box.
Almost a hundred k.
Where's my half?
Fuckin' week now.
Let's see,
after you kick
upstairs, you'll net--
what are you,
my accountant?
I'm better
with numbers
than nine tenths
of your accountants.
Kind of in arrears
in the respect
department, aren't you?
Fuck you
talkin' about?
Your future step- son,
the card game.
Come on, he pissed
on your leg.
Killed your dealer,
shot at
two made guys.
"A", you're talkin
g shit that's none
of your business.
And "b",
i'm gonna give that
little fuck ah matz'
he'll never forget.
Soon as we can
locate him.
He's in a housing project
in fuckin' boonton!
So, this 50 gs, you
think you deserve it?
"Deserve" un gatz,
it's my territory.
What?
It's me.
Uh...
tony.
Tony.
Tony,
what is it?
It's really vito.
You said to call
in five minutes.
No, no, no, no.
I'm not doing nothing
important right now.
Uh, i'm watching a guy
clean his windshield.
He's got a
green hat on.
It's that big?
Some birds
up ahead flying.
Some weeds across
the street there.
Well...
i can be there
in a half hour?
I think i see a rabbit
or a squirrel.
I don't know
what it is.
Maybe it's a possum.
No, i'll see you then.
What can do i?
To be continued,
looks like.
Tony needs me.
We'll work this out
another time.
Hello.
Tony? It's me.
You shouldn't be
calling me here.
I have to, what else
am i gonna do?
Don't say nothing.
You gotta help me.
Talk to your stepfather,
let him help.
I can't talk to him.
Look, i'm up in--
i don't want to know.
You call him,
you tell him to
come get you,
help you,
whatever.
Tony, please
, i'm sorry.
Please
don't hang up.
For my dad
if not for me.
He's been dead
two years.
As a matter of fact,
the expiration date
was last week
on all your bullshit
with that.
When you and him
did the same thing,
you got forgiven.
Go think about it.
See if you can figure
out the difference.
Don't call
me no more.
Mr. X, can you
play chess?
No.
I can, my daddy
taught me.
Economic downturn,
that's all you hear
about, but not you, boy.
You got 300 gs of the
esplanade green- grass
being chauffeured home.
Yeah.
Good job.
Jackie j
r. Call you?
No, why?
He called me.
I'm sorry.
Nah, don't apologize.
Anyway, i told him
to take it up with you.
Ton', what do you
want me to do?
You're the boss of the--
whoa, whoa, whoa,
we talked about this.
You were gonna
give him a pass.
But he should know.
You don't want to create
confusion, insubordination.
But more important tha
n the particular decision
is that it happe
n in a timely fashion.
But, fuck,
why am i telling you?
You know all this,
you're a captain.
Chain of command is
very important in our thing.
I'm sorry he
called your house.
Don't apologize.
Imagine,
neither of you had ever gotten
so much as a passing grade
on any geometry test,
and then
the midterm.
Sister agnes
shared these with me.
Both of you got
96 percent correct,
remarkable.
I'd like to call
your parents and share
the good news with them.
Oh, you really
don't have to.
What do you
want to tell me?
If you cooperate now,
it'll be easier later.
All we did
was study hard.
I don't have to waste
my time with you.
It was both
your urines
that mr. Lubimov spent
two hours scrubbing.
Your dna was
an exact match.
Oh, geez!
He's the one
who peed first!
I didn't even have to
pee till he did it.
I could take another test,
you could watch me.
He's back.
Junior soprano
beat cancer?
As far as anyone
can tell.
This prick
is laughing at us.
We get another
crack at him?
For a change the
judge ruled with us.
He'll set a trial
date in 30 days.
Good.
Tony?
Well, we had
the lamp problem.
Can't we get to him
through the nephew?
He's been made.
What about what we did
with archie banners?
His wife niki?
Moltisanti
is engaged
to a lovely thing called
adriana la cerva.
Good.
Would you ask debora
h to come in here please?
May i just
point out,
all she's ever done
is background checks.
Where'd you start?
Deborah,
how would you like
a new best friend for
the next nine, ten months?
Uh...
let me put
it this way.
How big can you
make your hair?
...tampa, site of
super bowl 35,
coming up on sunday
and today is media day...
no!
You pawn can only move
two spaces on the first move.
Sorry.
There.
Yo, i think
you're done for.
We just started.
Yeah, but the way she's
developing her knights.
I win again.
See, you should've
played that out.
That's the only way
you gonna learn.
I'm going down the
park, see bruce.
You guys
need anything?
Nah, i'm cool.
What are you
laughing at?
How could it
be $3200?
He said the transmission
was completely compromised.
I never even
heard of that!
I want my guy to
take a look at it.
I already told this
guy to go ahead.
Well, then
call him back,
tell him not to.
Tell him we're
picking up the car.
...who was voted the sexiest
man at the super bowl.
They never do this
in the world series...
forget it,
i don't care.
Let him do it.
Are you sure,
honey?
What the fuc
k did i just say?
Look, ro...
i'm coming home late,
i got some shit i gotta do.
...we'll come back,
see if we can get
a couple more giants on
before their hour
has come and gone...
the super bowl
returns to tampa...
how much?
A dime?
You got it.
...who was run out of this
town just a year ago.
I know what the ravens
offense is gonna do,
what the ravens defense
is gonna do,
what the giants defense
is gonna do.
What i don't know is what
the giants offense
is gonna do.
We're writing a lot
of slips on this game.
I'm goin' to the
betting parlor.
...if they
spread it out...
at some point
they might have
to spread'em out.
Neither defense thinks
that the other offense
can score on'em.
I think because the defense of
the giants feels so confident
they can shut out
the ravens...
i been dreaming of
that fuckin' lo mein
all the way the
fuck over here.
Now, who came in here
and ate my shit?
They don't have the explosive
outside speed...
i look for baltimore to wi
n this game, 20 to seven.
Not for nothing,
t, but...
i think you've
been wound a
little tight lately.
It's that sack of
shit, ralphie.
That's what i gott
a talk to you about.
He didn't pay me
the 50 gs he owes me
that comes out
that check cashing
store in morristown.
You lost me.
I got an alarm guy
on my payroll.
I tipped ralphie's
guys about the safe.
Gave them the codes.
So, ralphie says
the dough is his.
I'll talk to
him about it.
Fuck that
!
I been telling you
for months now
this guy's no good.
And i need that money
for my long range planning!
I want a sit- down.
Alright, answer
the fucking phone.
Hello?
Yeah...
carmela.
Sounds like
she's crying.
Yeah.
What?
A permanent expulsion.
I prayed i wou
ld never see this.
Even i managed
to get through school
without getting expelled.
Maybe it's
a blessing.
I don't see how
that could be.
The place was too loose,
it was too easy.
How can you say that?
I got expelled.
You got nothing to say
till i tell you!
Unless i ask you
a direct question!
Tony.
I work hard all day
to pay for this
6, 000 square foot house,
big screen tvs,
food on the table,
video games,
all kinds of
scooters and bicycles,
columbia university,
and for what?
To come home
to this?
Sucks to be you.
My god, tony!
There's more where
that came from!
We're starting a new
regime around here!
The school guidanc
e counselor said
this might be
a cry for help.
Oh, c'mon,
will ya?
She recommended a school
in new brunswick.
Birnwood day, it
's for troubled kids.
There's psychologists
right on staff.
No, no more fucking
schools that coddle him.
He's going to
military school.
What?
That's right,
i got some brochures.
You got
school brochures.
Yeah, from janice.
She was gonna
send harper there
but she didn't have the money
and it was too fuckin' late!
I'm not sending
him away.
We're lookin' at
those brochures!
What is with
you, tony?
Now, this i like.
Highly structured
environment.
Which
one is that?
Hmi,
hudson military
institute.
"Our second century
of excellence."
I never said
i was going.
We're just
looking, honey.
We're looking, and
then you're going.
Here.
Hello?
Yes.
Oh, hi, marie.
No.
Oh, my god.
Where's rosalie?
She's right here.
She can't come
to the phone.
Tell her i'll be there
as soon as i can.
Oh, my god.
What is it?
Jackie jr. Was
shot to death.
At the boonton projects...
by drug dealers.
I'm going
over rosalie's.
You see?
Taco bell.
Hi.
Hey.
There's something
i gotta tell you.
I heard.
How?
Like mom's not totally
gonna tell me you
got expelled.
Not that.
I heard you cracked and
copped to everything.
They had my dna.
Moron, it takes
like six weeks to
get dna tests.
Shit.
I gotta go.
No, i didn't
tell you yet.
What?
Jackie, he was doing a drug
deal with some black dudes...
and they shot him.
He's like, dead.
22 years old,
living in a
housing project.
Imagine the sh
ame for the family?
Fortunately
they were no longer
boyfriend and girlfriend.
How's your daughter
taking it?
Not very well.
You certainly saw it comin
with this boy, didn't you?
In the end,
i failed him.
What the f
uck you gonna do?
World today...
i'll tell you
one thing though,
i'm not gonna make t
he same mistake with a. J.
He got expelled.
Him we're sendin
g to military school.
You know, we
never discussed
exactly what you want
for your children.
I don't want the
m to end up in boonton
with their face
blown off.
You followed your father
into his business.
I didn't have a choice.
I try to make sure my kids
have every opportunity.
Meadow's goin' to columbia
for chrissakes.
She's wants to be some kind
of a professional woman.
Like you.
A psychiatrist?
And have to listen to guys
like me whine all day?
She mentioned bein
g a pediatrician once.
You'd like that?
Yeah, i would, i would
like something like that.
But the important thing is
she get far away from me.
I mean, she
could live close.
I think i understand.
And your son?
A. J.?
In my business?
Forget it.
He'd never make it.
Your father an
d i have to drive a. J.
Up to hudson institute
for his interview.
I would feel much bett
er if you were up and moving.
Jackie's dead
and you perseverate
on secondary schools.
I was up half
the night with ro
and this morning
her sister and i
made all the
funeral arrangements.
Your brother doesn't
a have school.
He can't be allowed
to sit around chatting
all day on the web
with the other dropouts
and the flakes.
You know,
he's the first
person my own age,
that i knew,
that ever died.
He knew all the
risks involved.
What, the x?
Half the kids
i know take it.
They have to get
it from someone.
It's not something
you get killed over.
Except that he did.
Or not.
Meaning?
Look at who
he grew up with.
Look at who
his father was.
Look at everybody
we know.
Let's not get cute.
When i'm being cute,
i'll let you know.
You liked jackie,
so you don't want to believe
that he did this to himself.
So, like a lot
of other people
you go around looking for
boogie men to blame.
Boogie men
with italian names.
So whatever
you're thinking,
you just stop
thinking it right now
because that is
not what happened.
Left, left, left...
stealing an exam, that's quite
a personal defeat, isn't it?
It was wrong.
That sounds
pre- programmed.
That how you saw
your future self
when you were
a younger man,
a cheat?
No.
How do you
explain it?
There's like all thi
s academic pressure,
about gett
ing into college.
My school, they're
like obsessed.
There's like
academic pressure,
or academic pressure?
There's all this pressure,
my parents too.
My sister, she
goes to columbia
and i know my parents
expect me to go.
Around here we all call
that stinkin' thinkin'.
It's precisely the same
with an alcoholic.
No one makes him put that
drink to his lips but himself.
I'm not an
alcoholic.
How do we do things
differently here at hmi
than at your
former school?
I don't know.
I realize you don't know,
i'm about to tell you.
At your school, and
it's not a bad school.
You're right,
there's too much emphasis
on what's good for you.
What's good for johnny,
what's good for janey.
Here the higher good
is the good of the corps.
As general macarthur said
in his farewell address
at the point,
"the corps, the
corps, the corps."
Now, how do we achieve
this revolutionary change
in thinking on your part?
Cadet corps has first call
and formation, 0530 each day.
March in formation
to first mess, 0620,
followed by dorm
inspection, 0700.
Classes, 0800 to 1440.
Athletic formation, 1500,
except thursdays,
which is drill or
commander's time.
1900 to 2100 is
evening study time.
Taps, lights out, 2200
hours, what's missing?
Give up?
Television.
What's 0530 mean?
5:30 a. M.
I just outlined for you
a blueprint for
total self discipline
that would take you
through your entire life
and that's your
only question?
Why do guys in the
army or like spies
use that o- thing
when they tell time?
That'll be made
abundantly clear to you.
For now, we have an
expression around here,
keep it simple.
Capt. Delaunay?
Please give mr. Soprano
the standard t. O. I.
While i meet
with his parents.
Sir, yes, sir.
I, for one, think anthony
could greatly benefit
from our program,
which, as i candidly told
him is very rigorous.
Do you mind?
I will be very frank
with you, major zwingli.
I do not agree with this
hard- nosed discipline.
The mother
s seldom do.
Wait till he starts
opening doors foryou
and pulling back
your chair.
That would b
e a miracle.
But, that's not even something
we thought we could hope for.
What about creativity, tony,
independent thought?
I stressed rat
her heavily with anthony
the notions of duty
and group think.
But, i didn't
for now mention to him
the army's
motto of today.
"Be an army of one."
Why be an army
at all?
How about a
veterinarian?
Isn't there enough war?
Amputees?
Horrible displaced--
jesus, he's just gonna
march around a little bit.
I wouldn't get too hung
up on the marching aspect.
It's part of it,
but it's nothing
compared to the mentoring
that comes through
small class size
and faculty involvement
in dorm life.
Well, that sounds
wonderful certainly.
We've created too many
options for our kids.
We can't blame the
m for being confused.
Then when
things go wrong,
we fob them off onto
the ever burgeoning
for profit substance
recovery industry.
This army of one thing,
what happens
when each army
of one decides...
fuck it, i not goin'
over the top of the foxhole,
or, why don't we just blow
the lieutenant's head off?
Because they've been
told, you know,
"you're an army of one".
I would submit audie murphy
was an army of one.
Is that what we're
preparing him for?
A career in
the military?
No, no!
One day at a time.
You want to
train him to be a
professional killer?
Oh, will you stop
? they're soldiers!
And the united states army
hardly goes to war anymore!
They were marching
with rifles, tony!
They're symbolic,
the barrels are plugged!
Symbolic of what?
Respect!
He will be subjected
to the discipline of kids
hardly older
than himself.
Does that
seem smart?
Boys his age still kil
l frogs and small animals.
The cusamano's binky?
The cherry bomb
with the nails in it,
you think
it was a. J.?
No, that is what i'm
trying to tell you!
He is still a chil
d, he's a normal child!
He's made some mistakes
and god knows,
he's got a shit lo
ad to learn about life!
That does not mean
that i'm gonna let you
send him to the type of school
whose whole reason for being,
is to make him
follow orders by
instilling fear!
He thinks the
world owes him a
fucking living!
What could have given him
that bizarre idea?
We tried it your way
for 15 years now.
With the berry brazleton,
the validating his feelings.
And that fuckin' school
did the same thing,
and what a surprise!
He thinks the world
runs on his feelings!
Well, he's gonna go
learn to be a man!
I will not send hi
m to that place!
Oh, no, fuck that,
allow me!
Fuck!
T...
about the
sit- down.
I haven't heard, and--
jesus christ, can i bury
my best friend's kid?
I am not
ready for this.
Okay, let's go,
we gotta do this.
Come here, you.
Rosalie?
Ro, honey?
Hi, sweetheart.
Ro...
i'm so sorry.
Mm- hmm,
place some more.
I'm so sorry
about your brother.
You remember my cousin
, mackenzie coluccio.
Oh, my god.
Here,
sit down.
It's alright.
Sit down.
A point and a quarter.
Would you listen
to me, moose?
It's very simple.
Look at this place.
Two days befor
e the super bowl
and nobody shows up.
That's not
true, mom.
You think i'd
remember, all my
years married to jack.
What happened, ton',
vegas moving the line?
...just make sure.
Point and a half.
Talk to you
a minute?
Russ?
Mr. Cozzarelli?
My partner and i
cut this.
Devotional music.
It's a little ragged,
it's a demo.
Christian contemporary.
I wish i had it for
my mother's funeral.
Tommy mottola at sony,
looks like he's gonna
offer us a deal.
Listen,
about jackie,
and you know, ralph.
How you handled that,
so it wouldn't stick
to any of us.
I'm only here out
of respect to you.
But i'm sorry i was
mooshada there.
And...
i appreciate that you
were looking out for me.
Oh, yeah?
You were close
to the kid, i know.
No, you don't know.
Anyway, what i said
about not loving you...
that's not
how it is.
Let's try it
your way.
I got here first?
Cocksucker.
Sit down, relax,
have a coffee.
He'll be here.
Well...
i think i go
t ma situated.
The brother
job home.
Nah, fuck that
, we went there.
Che poots,
i almost gagged.
Nah, we're gonna go
with green grove.
Based on your
recommendation, ton'.
I never
recommended it.
Yeah, you did,
when you had
your ma there.
By the way, did she ha
ve the silver bird package?
I dunno.
You know, sil,
it's the most expensive
nursing home in the state,
it's a retirement
community.
The level of care.
Ma was crying.
Eight grand
a month?
Who gi
ves a fuck?
You see a seeing eye
dog over here?
Cup full of pencils?
I'm not trying to insult
you, i'm just saying.
It'll be tough, bu
t i'll figure it out.
Worth every
fuckin' penny.
I'm the hero now, boy.
Hey.
You're late.
Well, tomorrow
i can be on time.
But you'll be
stupid forever.
Hey, hey,
sit down!
Sit the fuck down
and shut up!
You want
one of those?
No.
I was at my goomah's
all night.
Ro with the grief,
poor kid.
I can't get any sleep
there, it's incessant.
So...who wants
to talk first?
What's to fuck
in' talk about? I
'm owed that 50 gs.
A fuckin' alarm
code, 50 gs?
Five tops, maybe,
as a finder's fee!
Friggin' heist
fell in your lap.
You spend your days
fucking those fat pigs
in the outer office
at the carpenter's union.
Three mil a year,
from construction,
this family sees.
Alright, five's just
the negotiating platform,
take it easy.
It's not five,
we all know that.
His guys did
the heavy lifting.
Little paulie was good t
o go, fuckin' car never came.
They left him
waiting outside his
house like an asshole,
fuckin' 11 degree
weather.
Ralphie, give him 12k.
I can't believe this.
Why not?
Last year you believed
that flying saucer
was over east rutherford.
I'm not gonna
tell you again!
T, i'm asking yo
u to reconsider this.
Paulie, you
requested a sit- down,
he heard you out.
But, jesus fuckin' christ,
i'm leaving $38, 000
on the table.
Tony!
I had to park the car
all the way over there!
Ah...!
Sonofabitch!
C'mon, get up.
Miss?
Mm- hmm?
Can you tell me where i could
find something more dressy?
Not evening,
but muted?
I'll go look.
They have a great little
black dress i saw over there.
Mmm, those i have.
Thing is, it's
for a funeral.
Oh, i'm so sorry.
Yeah.
Guy was like 22.
Car accident?
Actually...
murder.
He was a cousin
of mine.
Anyway, last time
we went to a funeral,
my boyfriend bitched me
out over what i wore,
it was his boss'
mother's wake.
I said,"come on, you
think tony even noticed
for like one minute
what i had on?"
But he keeps on
about everything.
Oh, madonn', jesus.
Me, too.
I love blahniks, but the
y were killing me last night.
I was gonna go sit
with a starbucks.
So was i.
You wanna
go together?
Yeah.
Great.
Blahniks, th
ey are slim- line.
I was dancing,
my god.
But i'll tell you,
jimmy choos?
Ooh...
worse.
My name is danielle,
by the way.
I'm adriana, you
live in nutley?
If you're one of
the thousands of men
who suffer from
erectile dysfunction,
you already know that
it's no laughing matter.
Hey, i know this guy!
What you probabl
y don't know, however,
is that treatment is covered
by most medical plans.
I'm dr. Ira freid,
of the freid medical group.
Be it viagra, penile
enhancement surgery...
imagine, needing
an operation like that.
I can help you
increase the length,
girth, and vitality,
of what occurred
naturally.
My associates and i
have offices
conveniently located
throughout the tri- state area.
Our discretion
is assured.
Ho, it's sergeant bilko.
Tony.
You're right,
i'm sorry.
Just thought we shouldn't
get too gloomy about this.
My god,
anthony.
Your dress grays.
You know what?
You look
very handsome.
She's right,
you do.
Yeah, right.
No, i'm serious.
Tight suit like that,
it shows off your lats.
Put on the hat?
No way.
Oh, please?
He looked so cute at
the uniform company.
You're not gonna
sew the hat.
Just put the hat on
for your mother.
No!
What did you say?
Look at that.
I'm serious, you
look very impressive.
Oh, my god, if i wasn't
already married.
I look like
a total jerk- off.
You do not.
What are you,
crying?
I don't want
to go there.
You need
toughenin' up!
Tony.
Stand up
straight, okay?
I'm standing
fucking straight!
You keep it up,
goddamnit!
I think...
i think the hat
goes in the crook
of your arm here.
Like that.
You look good.
Oh, my god.
A. J.?
Anthony!
Get some water
or something.
My son...
has panic attacks.
Obviously we can't send him
to military school...
pediatrician said.
He's got that putrid, rotten,
fucking soprano gene.
It's a slight tic in his
fight- flight response.
It doesn't brand
him as anything.
It comes down
through the ages.
I remember hearing about my
great great great grandfather.
He drove a mule cart
off a mountain road.
He was transporting th
ese valuable jugs of olive oil.
Probably was
a panic attack.
When you blame your genes,
you're really
blaming yourself.
And, that's what we
should be talking about.
Fuckin'
verbum dei school.
Turns out
it happened before,
but they
didn't tell us.
Idiot nurse.
She diagnosed
it as dehydration from
football practice.
Can you believe they didn't
inform the parents?
I'm not a litigigus person,
or whatever the fuck.
I prefer to resolve
things directly,
but this tim
e i'm gonna sue!
Well, that's
your right.
Anthony?
You don't understand.
Make me understand.
We can't send him
to that place.
Yes?
How are we gonna
save this kid?
Your mother!
C'mon, let's go.
Silvio manford dante?
At a funeral?
Det. Filemon francis,
essex county sheriff's dept.
You're under arres
t for violation title 2- c,
chapter 37
, section two,
of the new jersey penal
code, promoting gambling.
Every fuckin'
super bowl,
d. A. Grabs a few
popcorn headlines.
Here, go'head.
Last year
i made bail so fast
my soup was still warm
when i got home.
Alright, c'mon,
keep moving.
Jesus christ,
you told me 11:00!
I'm sorry!
"Sorry", that's
all i hear.
Junior, look.
Junior!
Junior, don't
leave me!
In sure an
d certain hope
of the resurrectio
n to eternal life
through our lord
jesus christ,
we commend
to almighty god,
our brother, giaco
mo michael aprile jr.
And we commit his
body to the ground.
No!
Ashes to ashes,
dust to dust.
The lord bless him
and keep him.
The lord make his face
to shine upon him
and be gracious to him.
The lord lift up his
countenance upon him
and give him peace.
Someone from the famil
y should go down to artie's.
Stop thinking, ro.
Let's get you
to bed.
He opened up the
restaurant for us.
All those
people down there.
So med, was he
dealing while you
guys were dating?
Hey, mackenzie,
why don't you shut
your fucking mouth?
I was
just asking.
Please, okay?
My brother's whole
stupid pathetic dream
was to follow in our
father's footsteps.
I gotta paint
a picture?
He was killed by some fat
fuck in see- through socks.
Take your pick,
they all look alike.
Actually, kelli,
you really have
no basis to say that.
We used to joke around
about our families.
What happened
to you?
I know this is a really
painful time for you,
but your brother's
best friend was an
israeli x dealer.
I met him.
Wow, so, it was
international.
Let's just
drop it, okay?
Yeah, right.
I mean, if my dad
still controlled
all the crime in
north jersey like
your dad does now,
i'd probably want
to drop it too.
But then, it might
not have happened.
Wait, this
is way beyond...
our dads are in the
garbage business
and it's always
good for a laugh,
and yeah, they brush u
p against organized crime.
But you think they
control every slimeball
and illegal gun
in like a hundred
communities?
The fact that you
would even say thi
s in front of an outsider
is amazing tome.
Jesus chri
st, some loyalty?
Their names, etched
forever in history.
Their hands, around football's
most revered trophy.
Immortalized...
how are you?
Want a drink?
I gotta go,
ma's alone.
He's having a
full dinner, huh?
I'm done already.
It's good gravy today.
Sad day.
Mm- hmm.
Kid was always a dumb
fuck, though, wasn't he?
Didn't he almost drown
in three inches of water?
The penguin exhibit.
Jack tried to lay
off all jackie's problems
on a learnin
g disorder, but...
stupidity would be
a learning disorder,
wouldn't it?
Look at this
crappy turnout.
You know, if jackie sr.
Was still acting boss,
with a child passed away?
This place would be
filled to the rafters.
Flower cars up and
down the block.
No matter what
the boy had done.
Now...
bobby says me you're out
from under the house arrest.
Congratulations.
My fuckin' lawyer was
finally able to demonstrate
i don't pose
a flight risk.
Flight risk.
I been farting into
the same sofa cushion
for the last
18 months.
The rico trial's
coming up though.
At least you're ou
t, and you're eating
regular food again.
Fucking illness changed
my whole viewpoint.
I'm gonna stop
and smell the roses.
We all should.
What the fuck?
In the museum of noses,
there goes the
friggin' mona lisa.
The fuck you doing
out here?
Ginny thinks i quit.
Jesus christ.
Fuckin' underboss of a
five families' family.
Ginny can get heavy.
What's the matter?
Ah, nothin'.
You could tell
uncle john.
Fuckin' tony.
He knows my
mother's ill,
then he rules against me
in this morristown bullshit.
Maybe you heard
about it.
I don't stick
my beak in.
Since ralphie's bringing him
all this esplanade scharrol,
you'd think i
was carrying a
load in my pants,
the way tony sticks his
nose up when i'm around.
I'm not insensitive.
I hurt too.
You think tony pla
ys favorites like that?
What do i say
to ma?
She thinks she's going
to this paradise
of nursing homes.
Same one his mother put
her fuckin' feet up at
for a year,
by the way.
Don't confuse money
with caring.
Look how he
treated her.
I mean, he's my de
ar friend, but, comeon.
I was just saying
that to junior.
That maybe tony fundamentally
don't respect the elderly.
You said tha
t to junior?
What are you making,
minest'?
You know,
carmine, too,
sometimes he gets very
frustrated with tony
and ralphie,
that generation.
He thinks the whol
e esplanade thing,
rich as it is,
wasn't handled
right risk- wise.
How is carmine?
He asks about you.
Give him my love.
I will, he'll like
hearing that.
He's not as
well as he could
be either, you know.
If there's ever anything
i can do, anything,
he shouldn't
hesitate.
I'll tell him.
You okay?
Yeah.
You had a few drinks
over there.
We all
could useit.
I was thinking
before.
About what
you once said,
how you have to max
out the good times
with the people you love.
God, am i learning that
that like is so true.
Actually your father
said that.
Anyway, look how people
deal with each other.
Even families,
like jackie's family.
What about them?
They were never
there for him.
I mean, aunt ro's sweet,
but she's like, hello.
And uncle jackie?
So narcissistic.
They let him do
whatever he wanted.
When you'd
ask him, like,
"aren't you afraid what
your parents are gonna say?"
About i dunno,
whatever.
And he would just go,
"they don't give a shit."
But i think it hurt
his feelings inside.
Well, i'm glad
you see.
Yeah, right.
You're glad i see.
What you
take from this
is an excuse to get
intrusive and controlling.
That is not what i'm
talking about, jesus!
What did i say?
Meadow, you're out
from under our roof.
A. J. , then, you'll
use it against him.
"Against him"?
I'm sorry
i said anything.
The young bearde
d stranger turns,
the rabbi goes,
"don't touch me, i
'm on total disability."
They're back!
When'd you
get here?
Just now.
Come on, junior,
sing it!
Come on,
come on!
C'mon,
let's go!
What the hell.
I beat cancer.
Now i'm gonna
beat the can.
Nah, that's too high,
bring it down.
What is this?
What's that?
Cosmo.
He's not bad when
he's had a few'bucas.
He's shit- faced.
Don't laugh.
Hold this.
Yeah, yeah, i'm
going, i'm going.
C'mere!
Did you hear me?
I said,
c'mere!
This is
such bullshit!
Meadow!
Hey, guys, let's go.
C'mon.
Back to school
i guess.
Did you give her
money for the bus?
I dunno, she's
got her purse.
She'll be alright.
Stand still
and be quiet.
What's that mean,
cuore ingrata?
Ungrateful heart.
Captions copyright 2001
home box office
a division of time warner
entertainment company, L. P.
---
I gotta pee.
The janitor
leaves at eight.
You can wait
10 minutes.
Now i gotta pee.
Got it.
Listen to super bowl
35 on the radio...
this is that kid
i was tellin' you about.
He needs to
crash here.
He can get you
a glock 9.
Welcome to the boonton
holiday inn.
My name is leena.
What's your name?
Uh...
i probably
shouldn't say.
Mr. X, then.
You'll be
safe here, bro.
Your guido friends would never
think to look for you here.
How do i open
this door?
Did you like
the room, nucci?
Did you think
it was nice?
That's sammy kahn.
That's one
of my favorites.
I'll hav
e the deposit,
the 40, 000 to you,
end of the week.
If you could
transfer--
we have an even bigger
sing on parisian night
which is fridays.
Oh madonna mi',
they don't eat
snails, do they?
No, coq au vin,
blanket of veal.
Ma?
What's the matter?
My son let's me li
ve in a place like this.
He's such a good boy.
Yeah, well, who's
the queen, huh?
C'mon, now,
dry those peeps.
Listen to this,
19- year- old college
kid in michigan,
he's comin' out for the
nba draft as a sophomore,
he figures he'll go
in the first round...
he's dead...
from crack.
I was thinking
about ro.
And here jackie
had her convinced
he was just smokin
g a little marijuana,
making cs in school.
And he was dealing
hard drugs.
You never know
with your kids.
It's like
i been saying...
the shit that can
happen over drug money.
Well, you tried,
tony, with that boy.
Nice haul, cracking
that strong box.
Almost a hundred k.
Where's my half?
Fuckin' week now.
Let's see,
after you kick
upstairs, you'll net--
what are you,
my accountant?
I'm better
with numbers
than nine tenths
of your accountants.
Kind of in arrears
in the respect
department, aren't you?
Fuck you
talkin' about?
Your future step- son,
the card game.
Come on, he pissed
on your leg.
Killed your dealer,
shot at
two made guys.
"A", you're talkin
g shit that's none
of your business.
And "b",
i'm gonna give that
little fuck ah matz'
he'll never forget.
Soon as we can
locate him.
He's in a housing project
in fuckin' boonton!
So, this 50 gs, you
think you deserve it?
"Deserve" un gatz,
it's my territory.
What?
It's me.
Uh...
tony.
Tony.
Tony,
what is it?
It's really vito.
You said to call
in five minutes.
No, no, no, no.
I'm not doing nothing
important right now.
Uh, i'm watching a guy
clean his windshield.
He's got a
green hat on.
It's that big?
Some birds
up ahead flying.
Some weeds across
the street there.
Well...
i can be there
in a half hour?
I think i see a rabbit
or a squirrel.
I don't know
what it is.
Maybe it's a possum.
No, i'll see you then.
What can do i?
To be continued,
looks like.
Tony needs me.
We'll work this out
another time.
Hello.
Tony? It's me.
You shouldn't be
calling me here.
I have to, what else
am i gonna do?
Don't say nothing.
You gotta help me.
Talk to your stepfather,
let him help.
I can't talk to him.
Look, i'm up in--
i don't want to know.
You call him,
you tell him to
come get you,
help you,
whatever.
Tony, please
, i'm sorry.
Please
don't hang up.
For my dad
if not for me.
He's been dead
two years.
As a matter of fact,
the expiration date
was last week
on all your bullshit
with that.
When you and him
did the same thing,
you got forgiven.
Go think about it.
See if you can figure
out the difference.
Don't call
me no more.
Mr. X, can you
play chess?
No.
I can, my daddy
taught me.
Economic downturn,
that's all you hear
about, but not you, boy.
You got 300 gs of the
esplanade green- grass
being chauffeured home.
Yeah.
Good job.
Jackie j
r. Call you?
No, why?
He called me.
I'm sorry.
Nah, don't apologize.
Anyway, i told him
to take it up with you.
Ton', what do you
want me to do?
You're the boss of the--
whoa, whoa, whoa,
we talked about this.
You were gonna
give him a pass.
But he should know.
You don't want to create
confusion, insubordination.
But more important tha
n the particular decision
is that it happe
n in a timely fashion.
But, fuck,
why am i telling you?
You know all this,
you're a captain.
Chain of command is
very important in our thing.
I'm sorry he
called your house.
Don't apologize.
Imagine,
neither of you had ever gotten
so much as a passing grade
on any geometry test,
and then
the midterm.
Sister agnes
shared these with me.
Both of you got
96 percent correct,
remarkable.
I'd like to call
your parents and share
the good news with them.
Oh, you really
don't have to.
What do you
want to tell me?
If you cooperate now,
it'll be easier later.
All we did
was study hard.
I don't have to waste
my time with you.
It was both
your urines
that mr. Lubimov spent
two hours scrubbing.
Your dna was
an exact match.
Oh, geez!
He's the one
who peed first!
I didn't even have to
pee till he did it.
I could take another test,
you could watch me.
He's back.
Junior soprano
beat cancer?
As far as anyone
can tell.
This prick
is laughing at us.
We get another
crack at him?
For a change the
judge ruled with us.
He'll set a trial
date in 30 days.
Good.
Tony?
Well, we had
the lamp problem.
Can't we get to him
through the nephew?
He's been made.
What about what we did
with archie banners?
His wife niki?
Moltisanti
is engaged
to a lovely thing called
adriana la cerva.
Good.
Would you ask debora
h to come in here please?
May i just
point out,
all she's ever done
is background checks.
Where'd you start?
Deborah,
how would you like
a new best friend for
the next nine, ten months?
Uh...
let me put
it this way.
How big can you
make your hair?
...tampa, site of
super bowl 35,
coming up on sunday
and today is media day...
no!
You pawn can only move
two spaces on the first move.
Sorry.
There.
Yo, i think
you're done for.
We just started.
Yeah, but the way she's
developing her knights.
I win again.
See, you should've
played that out.
That's the only way
you gonna learn.
I'm going down the
park, see bruce.
You guys
need anything?
Nah, i'm cool.
What are you
laughing at?
How could it
be $3200?
He said the transmission
was completely compromised.
I never even
heard of that!
I want my guy to
take a look at it.
I already told this
guy to go ahead.
Well, then
call him back,
tell him not to.
Tell him we're
picking up the car.
...who was voted the sexiest
man at the super bowl.
They never do this
in the world series...
forget it,
i don't care.
Let him do it.
Are you sure,
honey?
What the fuc
k did i just say?
Look, ro...
i'm coming home late,
i got some shit i gotta do.
...we'll come back,
see if we can get
a couple more giants on
before their hour
has come and gone...
the super bowl
returns to tampa...
how much?
A dime?
You got it.
...who was run out of this
town just a year ago.
I know what the ravens
offense is gonna do,
what the ravens defense
is gonna do,
what the giants defense
is gonna do.
What i don't know is what
the giants offense
is gonna do.
We're writing a lot
of slips on this game.
I'm goin' to the
betting parlor.
...if they
spread it out...
at some point
they might have
to spread'em out.
Neither defense thinks
that the other offense
can score on'em.
I think because the defense of
the giants feels so confident
they can shut out
the ravens...
i been dreaming of
that fuckin' lo mein
all the way the
fuck over here.
Now, who came in here
and ate my shit?
They don't have the explosive
outside speed...
i look for baltimore to wi
n this game, 20 to seven.
Not for nothing,
t, but...
i think you've
been wound a
little tight lately.
It's that sack of
shit, ralphie.
That's what i gott
a talk to you about.
He didn't pay me
the 50 gs he owes me
that comes out
that check cashing
store in morristown.
You lost me.
I got an alarm guy
on my payroll.
I tipped ralphie's
guys about the safe.
Gave them the codes.
So, ralphie says
the dough is his.
I'll talk to
him about it.
Fuck that
!
I been telling you
for months now
this guy's no good.
And i need that money
for my long range planning!
I want a sit- down.
Alright, answer
the fucking phone.
Hello?
Yeah...
carmela.
Sounds like
she's crying.
Yeah.
What?
A permanent expulsion.
I prayed i wou
ld never see this.
Even i managed
to get through school
without getting expelled.
Maybe it's
a blessing.
I don't see how
that could be.
The place was too loose,
it was too easy.
How can you say that?
I got expelled.
You got nothing to say
till i tell you!
Unless i ask you
a direct question!
Tony.
I work hard all day
to pay for this
6, 000 square foot house,
big screen tvs,
food on the table,
video games,
all kinds of
scooters and bicycles,
columbia university,
and for what?
To come home
to this?
Sucks to be you.
My god, tony!
There's more where
that came from!
We're starting a new
regime around here!
The school guidanc
e counselor said
this might be
a cry for help.
Oh, c'mon,
will ya?
She recommended a school
in new brunswick.
Birnwood day, it
's for troubled kids.
There's psychologists
right on staff.
No, no more fucking
schools that coddle him.
He's going to
military school.
What?
That's right,
i got some brochures.
You got
school brochures.
Yeah, from janice.
She was gonna
send harper there
but she didn't have the money
and it was too fuckin' late!
I'm not sending
him away.
We're lookin' at
those brochures!
What is with
you, tony?
Now, this i like.
Highly structured
environment.
Which
one is that?
Hmi,
hudson military
institute.
"Our second century
of excellence."
I never said
i was going.
We're just
looking, honey.
We're looking, and
then you're going.
Here.
Hello?
Yes.
Oh, hi, marie.
No.
Oh, my god.
Where's rosalie?
She's right here.
She can't come
to the phone.
Tell her i'll be there
as soon as i can.
Oh, my god.
What is it?
Jackie jr. Was
shot to death.
At the boonton projects...
by drug dealers.
I'm going
over rosalie's.
You see?
Taco bell.
Hi.
Hey.
There's something
i gotta tell you.
I heard.
How?
Like mom's not totally
gonna tell me you
got expelled.
Not that.
I heard you cracked and
copped to everything.
They had my dna.
Moron, it takes
like six weeks to
get dna tests.
Shit.
I gotta go.
No, i didn't
tell you yet.
What?
Jackie, he was doing a drug
deal with some black dudes...
and they shot him.
He's like, dead.
22 years old,
living in a
housing project.
Imagine the sh
ame for the family?
Fortunately
they were no longer
boyfriend and girlfriend.
How's your daughter
taking it?
Not very well.
You certainly saw it comin
with this boy, didn't you?
In the end,
i failed him.
What the f
uck you gonna do?
World today...
i'll tell you
one thing though,
i'm not gonna make t
he same mistake with a. J.
He got expelled.
Him we're sendin
g to military school.
You know, we
never discussed
exactly what you want
for your children.
I don't want the
m to end up in boonton
with their face
blown off.
You followed your father
into his business.
I didn't have a choice.
I try to make sure my kids
have every opportunity.
Meadow's goin' to columbia
for chrissakes.
She's wants to be some kind
of a professional woman.
Like you.
A psychiatrist?
And have to listen to guys
like me whine all day?
She mentioned bein
g a pediatrician once.
You'd like that?
Yeah, i would, i would
like something like that.
But the important thing is
she get far away from me.
I mean, she
could live close.
I think i understand.
And your son?
A. J.?
In my business?
Forget it.
He'd never make it.
Your father an
d i have to drive a. J.
Up to hudson institute
for his interview.
I would feel much bett
er if you were up and moving.
Jackie's dead
and you perseverate
on secondary schools.
I was up half
the night with ro
and this morning
her sister and i
made all the
funeral arrangements.
Your brother doesn't
a have school.
He can't be allowed
to sit around chatting
all day on the web
with the other dropouts
and the flakes.
You know,
he's the first
person my own age,
that i knew,
that ever died.
He knew all the
risks involved.
What, the x?
Half the kids
i know take it.
They have to get
it from someone.
It's not something
you get killed over.
Except that he did.
Or not.
Meaning?
Look at who
he grew up with.
Look at who
his father was.
Look at everybody
we know.
Let's not get cute.
When i'm being cute,
i'll let you know.
You liked jackie,
so you don't want to believe
that he did this to himself.
So, like a lot
of other people
you go around looking for
boogie men to blame.
Boogie men
with italian names.
So whatever
you're thinking,
you just stop
thinking it right now
because that is
not what happened.
Left, left, left...
stealing an exam, that's quite
a personal defeat, isn't it?
It was wrong.
That sounds
pre- programmed.
That how you saw
your future self
when you were
a younger man,
a cheat?
No.
How do you
explain it?
There's like all thi
s academic pressure,
about gett
ing into college.
My school, they're
like obsessed.
There's like
academic pressure,
or academic pressure?
There's all this pressure,
my parents too.
My sister, she
goes to columbia
and i know my parents
expect me to go.
Around here we all call
that stinkin' thinkin'.
It's precisely the same
with an alcoholic.
No one makes him put that
drink to his lips but himself.
I'm not an
alcoholic.
How do we do things
differently here at hmi
than at your
former school?
I don't know.
I realize you don't know,
i'm about to tell you.
At your school, and
it's not a bad school.
You're right,
there's too much emphasis
on what's good for you.
What's good for johnny,
what's good for janey.
Here the higher good
is the good of the corps.
As general macarthur said
in his farewell address
at the point,
"the corps, the
corps, the corps."
Now, how do we achieve
this revolutionary change
in thinking on your part?
Cadet corps has first call
and formation, 0530 each day.
March in formation
to first mess, 0620,
followed by dorm
inspection, 0700.
Classes, 0800 to 1440.
Athletic formation, 1500,
except thursdays,
which is drill or
commander's time.
1900 to 2100 is
evening study time.
Taps, lights out, 2200
hours, what's missing?
Give up?
Television.
What's 0530 mean?
5:30 a. M.
I just outlined for you
a blueprint for
total self discipline
that would take you
through your entire life
and that's your
only question?
Why do guys in the
army or like spies
use that o- thing
when they tell time?
That'll be made
abundantly clear to you.
For now, we have an
expression around here,
keep it simple.
Capt. Delaunay?
Please give mr. Soprano
the standard t. O. I.
While i meet
with his parents.
Sir, yes, sir.
I, for one, think anthony
could greatly benefit
from our program,
which, as i candidly told
him is very rigorous.
Do you mind?
I will be very frank
with you, major zwingli.
I do not agree with this
hard- nosed discipline.
The mother
s seldom do.
Wait till he starts
opening doors foryou
and pulling back
your chair.
That would b
e a miracle.
But, that's not even something
we thought we could hope for.
What about creativity, tony,
independent thought?
I stressed rat
her heavily with anthony
the notions of duty
and group think.
But, i didn't
for now mention to him
the army's
motto of today.
"Be an army of one."
Why be an army
at all?
How about a
veterinarian?
Isn't there enough war?
Amputees?
Horrible displaced--
jesus, he's just gonna
march around a little bit.
I wouldn't get too hung
up on the marching aspect.
It's part of it,
but it's nothing
compared to the mentoring
that comes through
small class size
and faculty involvement
in dorm life.
Well, that sounds
wonderful certainly.
We've created too many
options for our kids.
We can't blame the
m for being confused.
Then when
things go wrong,
we fob them off onto
the ever burgeoning
for profit substance
recovery industry.
This army of one thing,
what happens
when each army
of one decides...
fuck it, i not goin'
over the top of the foxhole,
or, why don't we just blow
the lieutenant's head off?
Because they've been
told, you know,
"you're an army of one".
I would submit audie murphy
was an army of one.
Is that what we're
preparing him for?
A career in
the military?
No, no!
One day at a time.
You want to
train him to be a
professional killer?
Oh, will you stop
? they're soldiers!
And the united states army
hardly goes to war anymore!
They were marching
with rifles, tony!
They're symbolic,
the barrels are plugged!
Symbolic of what?
Respect!
He will be subjected
to the discipline of kids
hardly older
than himself.
Does that
seem smart?
Boys his age still kil
l frogs and small animals.
The cusamano's binky?
The cherry bomb
with the nails in it,
you think
it was a. J.?
No, that is what i'm
trying to tell you!
He is still a chil
d, he's a normal child!
He's made some mistakes
and god knows,
he's got a shit lo
ad to learn about life!
That does not mean
that i'm gonna let you
send him to the type of school
whose whole reason for being,
is to make him
follow orders by
instilling fear!
He thinks the
world owes him a
fucking living!
What could have given him
that bizarre idea?
We tried it your way
for 15 years now.
With the berry brazleton,
the validating his feelings.
And that fuckin' school
did the same thing,
and what a surprise!
He thinks the world
runs on his feelings!
Well, he's gonna go
learn to be a man!
I will not send hi
m to that place!
Oh, no, fuck that,
allow me!
Fuck!
T...
about the
sit- down.
I haven't heard, and--
jesus christ, can i bury
my best friend's kid?
I am not
ready for this.
Okay, let's go,
we gotta do this.
Come here, you.
Rosalie?
Ro, honey?
Hi, sweetheart.
Ro...
i'm so sorry.
Mm- hmm,
place some more.
I'm so sorry
about your brother.
You remember my cousin
, mackenzie coluccio.
Oh, my god.
Here,
sit down.
It's alright.
Sit down.
A point and a quarter.
Would you listen
to me, moose?
It's very simple.
Look at this place.
Two days befor
e the super bowl
and nobody shows up.
That's not
true, mom.
You think i'd
remember, all my
years married to jack.
What happened, ton',
vegas moving the line?
...just make sure.
Point and a half.
Talk to you
a minute?
Russ?
Mr. Cozzarelli?
My partner and i
cut this.
Devotional music.
It's a little ragged,
it's a demo.
Christian contemporary.
I wish i had it for
my mother's funeral.
Tommy mottola at sony,
looks like he's gonna
offer us a deal.
Listen,
about jackie,
and you know, ralph.
How you handled that,
so it wouldn't stick
to any of us.
I'm only here out
of respect to you.
But i'm sorry i was
mooshada there.
And...
i appreciate that you
were looking out for me.
Oh, yeah?
You were close
to the kid, i know.
No, you don't know.
Anyway, what i said
about not loving you...
that's not
how it is.
Let's try it
your way.
I got here first?
Cocksucker.
Sit down, relax,
have a coffee.
He'll be here.
Well...
i think i go
t ma situated.
The brother
job home.
Nah, fuck that
, we went there.
Che poots,
i almost gagged.
Nah, we're gonna go
with green grove.
Based on your
recommendation, ton'.
I never
recommended it.
Yeah, you did,
when you had
your ma there.
By the way, did she ha
ve the silver bird package?
I dunno.
You know, sil,
it's the most expensive
nursing home in the state,
it's a retirement
community.
The level of care.
Ma was crying.
Eight grand
a month?
Who gi
ves a fuck?
You see a seeing eye
dog over here?
Cup full of pencils?
I'm not trying to insult
you, i'm just saying.
It'll be tough, bu
t i'll figure it out.
Worth every
fuckin' penny.
I'm the hero now, boy.
Hey.
You're late.
Well, tomorrow
i can be on time.
But you'll be
stupid forever.
Hey, hey,
sit down!
Sit the fuck down
and shut up!
You want
one of those?
No.
I was at my goomah's
all night.
Ro with the grief,
poor kid.
I can't get any sleep
there, it's incessant.
So...who wants
to talk first?
What's to fuck
in' talk about? I
'm owed that 50 gs.
A fuckin' alarm
code, 50 gs?
Five tops, maybe,
as a finder's fee!
Friggin' heist
fell in your lap.
You spend your days
fucking those fat pigs
in the outer office
at the carpenter's union.
Three mil a year,
from construction,
this family sees.
Alright, five's just
the negotiating platform,
take it easy.
It's not five,
we all know that.
His guys did
the heavy lifting.
Little paulie was good t
o go, fuckin' car never came.
They left him
waiting outside his
house like an asshole,
fuckin' 11 degree
weather.
Ralphie, give him 12k.
I can't believe this.
Why not?
Last year you believed
that flying saucer
was over east rutherford.
I'm not gonna
tell you again!
T, i'm asking yo
u to reconsider this.
Paulie, you
requested a sit- down,
he heard you out.
But, jesus fuckin' christ,
i'm leaving $38, 000
on the table.
Tony!
I had to park the car
all the way over there!
Ah...!
Sonofabitch!
C'mon, get up.
Miss?
Mm- hmm?
Can you tell me where i could
find something more dressy?
Not evening,
but muted?
I'll go look.
They have a great little
black dress i saw over there.
Mmm, those i have.
Thing is, it's
for a funeral.
Oh, i'm so sorry.
Yeah.
Guy was like 22.
Car accident?
Actually...
murder.
He was a cousin
of mine.
Anyway, last time
we went to a funeral,
my boyfriend bitched me
out over what i wore,
it was his boss'
mother's wake.
I said,"come on, you
think tony even noticed
for like one minute
what i had on?"
But he keeps on
about everything.
Oh, madonn', jesus.
Me, too.
I love blahniks, but the
y were killing me last night.
I was gonna go sit
with a starbucks.
So was i.
You wanna
go together?
Yeah.
Great.
Blahniks, th
ey are slim- line.
I was dancing,
my god.
But i'll tell you,
jimmy choos?
Ooh...
worse.
My name is danielle,
by the way.
I'm adriana, you
live in nutley?
If you're one of
the thousands of men
who suffer from
erectile dysfunction,
you already know that
it's no laughing matter.
Hey, i know this guy!
What you probabl
y don't know, however,
is that treatment is covered
by most medical plans.
I'm dr. Ira freid,
of the freid medical group.
Be it viagra, penile
enhancement surgery...
imagine, needing
an operation like that.
I can help you
increase the length,
girth, and vitality,
of what occurred
naturally.
My associates and i
have offices
conveniently located
throughout the tri- state area.
Our discretion
is assured.
Ho, it's sergeant bilko.
Tony.
You're right,
i'm sorry.
Just thought we shouldn't
get too gloomy about this.
My god,
anthony.
Your dress grays.
You know what?
You look
very handsome.
She's right,
you do.
Yeah, right.
No, i'm serious.
Tight suit like that,
it shows off your lats.
Put on the hat?
No way.
Oh, please?
He looked so cute at
the uniform company.
You're not gonna
sew the hat.
Just put the hat on
for your mother.
No!
What did you say?
Look at that.
I'm serious, you
look very impressive.
Oh, my god, if i wasn't
already married.
I look like
a total jerk- off.
You do not.
What are you,
crying?
I don't want
to go there.
You need
toughenin' up!
Tony.
Stand up
straight, okay?
I'm standing
fucking straight!
You keep it up,
goddamnit!
I think...
i think the hat
goes in the crook
of your arm here.
Like that.
You look good.
Oh, my god.
A. J.?
Anthony!
Get some water
or something.
My son...
has panic attacks.
Obviously we can't send him
to military school...
pediatrician said.
He's got that putrid, rotten,
fucking soprano gene.
It's a slight tic in his
fight- flight response.
It doesn't brand
him as anything.
It comes down
through the ages.
I remember hearing about my
great great great grandfather.
He drove a mule cart
off a mountain road.
He was transporting th
ese valuable jugs of olive oil.
Probably was
a panic attack.
When you blame your genes,
you're really
blaming yourself.
And, that's what we
should be talking about.
Fuckin'
verbum dei school.
Turns out
it happened before,
but they
didn't tell us.
Idiot nurse.
She diagnosed
it as dehydration from
football practice.
Can you believe they didn't
inform the parents?
I'm not a litigigus person,
or whatever the fuck.
I prefer to resolve
things directly,
but this tim
e i'm gonna sue!
Well, that's
your right.
Anthony?
You don't understand.
Make me understand.
We can't send him
to that place.
Yes?
How are we gonna
save this kid?
Your mother!
C'mon, let's go.
Silvio manford dante?
At a funeral?
Det. Filemon francis,
essex county sheriff's dept.
You're under arres
t for violation title 2- c,
chapter 37
, section two,
of the new jersey penal
code, promoting gambling.
Every fuckin'
super bowl,
d. A. Grabs a few
popcorn headlines.
Here, go'head.
Last year
i made bail so fast
my soup was still warm
when i got home.
Alright, c'mon,
keep moving.
Jesus christ,
you told me 11:00!
I'm sorry!
"Sorry", that's
all i hear.
Junior, look.
Junior!
Junior, don't
leave me!
In sure an
d certain hope
of the resurrectio
n to eternal life
through our lord
jesus christ,
we commend
to almighty god,
our brother, giaco
mo michael aprile jr.
And we commit his
body to the ground.
No!
Ashes to ashes,
dust to dust.
The lord bless him
and keep him.
The lord make his face
to shine upon him
and be gracious to him.
The lord lift up his
countenance upon him
and give him peace.
Someone from the famil
y should go down to artie's.
Stop thinking, ro.
Let's get you
to bed.
He opened up the
restaurant for us.
All those
people down there.
So med, was he
dealing while you
guys were dating?
Hey, mackenzie,
why don't you shut
your fucking mouth?
I was
just asking.
Please, okay?
My brother's whole
stupid pathetic dream
was to follow in our
father's footsteps.
I gotta paint
a picture?
He was killed by some fat
fuck in see- through socks.
Take your pick,
they all look alike.
Actually, kelli,
you really have
no basis to say that.
We used to joke around
about our families.
What happened
to you?
I know this is a really
painful time for you,
but your brother's
best friend was an
israeli x dealer.
I met him.
Wow, so, it was
international.
Let's just
drop it, okay?
Yeah, right.
I mean, if my dad
still controlled
all the crime in
north jersey like
your dad does now,
i'd probably want
to drop it too.
But then, it might
not have happened.
Wait, this
is way beyond...
our dads are in the
garbage business
and it's always
good for a laugh,
and yeah, they brush u
p against organized crime.
But you think they
control every slimeball
and illegal gun
in like a hundred
communities?
The fact that you
would even say thi
s in front of an outsider
is amazing tome.
Jesus chri
st, some loyalty?
Their names, etched
forever in history.
Their hands, around football's
most revered trophy.
Immortalized...
how are you?
Want a drink?
I gotta go,
ma's alone.
He's having a
full dinner, huh?
I'm done already.
It's good gravy today.
Sad day.
Mm- hmm.
Kid was always a dumb
fuck, though, wasn't he?
Didn't he almost drown
in three inches of water?
The penguin exhibit.
Jack tried to lay
off all jackie's problems
on a learnin
g disorder, but...
stupidity would be
a learning disorder,
wouldn't it?
Look at this
crappy turnout.
You know, if jackie sr.
Was still acting boss,
with a child passed away?
This place would be
filled to the rafters.
Flower cars up and
down the block.
No matter what
the boy had done.
Now...
bobby says me you're out
from under the house arrest.
Congratulations.
My fuckin' lawyer was
finally able to demonstrate
i don't pose
a flight risk.
Flight risk.
I been farting into
the same sofa cushion
for the last
18 months.
The rico trial's
coming up though.
At least you're ou
t, and you're eating
regular food again.
Fucking illness changed
my whole viewpoint.
I'm gonna stop
and smell the roses.
We all should.
What the fuck?
In the museum of noses,
there goes the
friggin' mona lisa.
The fuck you doing
out here?
Ginny thinks i quit.
Jesus christ.
Fuckin' underboss of a
five families' family.
Ginny can get heavy.
What's the matter?
Ah, nothin'.
You could tell
uncle john.
Fuckin' tony.
He knows my
mother's ill,
then he rules against me
in this morristown bullshit.
Maybe you heard
about it.
I don't stick
my beak in.
Since ralphie's bringing him
all this esplanade scharrol,
you'd think i
was carrying a
load in my pants,
the way tony sticks his
nose up when i'm around.
I'm not insensitive.
I hurt too.
You think tony pla
ys favorites like that?
What do i say
to ma?
She thinks she's going
to this paradise
of nursing homes.
Same one his mother put
her fuckin' feet up at
for a year,
by the way.
Don't confuse money
with caring.
Look how he
treated her.
I mean, he's my de
ar friend, but, comeon.
I was just saying
that to junior.
That maybe tony fundamentally
don't respect the elderly.
You said tha
t to junior?
What are you making,
minest'?
You know,
carmine, too,
sometimes he gets very
frustrated with tony
and ralphie,
that generation.
He thinks the whol
e esplanade thing,
rich as it is,
wasn't handled
right risk- wise.
How is carmine?
He asks about you.
Give him my love.
I will, he'll like
hearing that.
He's not as
well as he could
be either, you know.
If there's ever anything
i can do, anything,
he shouldn't
hesitate.
I'll tell him.
You okay?
Yeah.
You had a few drinks
over there.
We all
could useit.
I was thinking
before.
About what
you once said,
how you have to max
out the good times
with the people you love.
God, am i learning that
that like is so true.
Actually your father
said that.
Anyway, look how people
deal with each other.
Even families,
like jackie's family.
What about them?
They were never
there for him.
I mean, aunt ro's sweet,
but she's like, hello.
And uncle jackie?
So narcissistic.
They let him do
whatever he wanted.
When you'd
ask him, like,
"aren't you afraid what
your parents are gonna say?"
About i dunno,
whatever.
And he would just go,
"they don't give a shit."
But i think it hurt
his feelings inside.
Well, i'm glad
you see.
Yeah, right.
You're glad i see.
What you
take from this
is an excuse to get
intrusive and controlling.
That is not what i'm
talking about, jesus!
What did i say?
Meadow, you're out
from under our roof.
A. J. , then, you'll
use it against him.
"Against him"?
I'm sorry
i said anything.
The young bearde
d stranger turns,
the rabbi goes,
"don't touch me, i
'm on total disability."
They're back!
When'd you
get here?
Just now.
Come on, junior,
sing it!
Come on,
come on!
C'mon,
let's go!
What the hell.
I beat cancer.
Now i'm gonna
beat the can.
Nah, that's too high,
bring it down.
What is this?
What's that?
Cosmo.
He's not bad when
he's had a few'bucas.
He's shit- faced.
Don't laugh.
Hold this.
Yeah, yeah, i'm
going, i'm going.
C'mere!
Did you hear me?
I said,
c'mere!
This is
such bullshit!
Meadow!
Hey, guys, let's go.
C'mon.
Back to school
i guess.
Did you give her
money for the bus?
I dunno, she's
got her purse.
She'll be alright.
Stand still
and be quiet.
What's that mean,
cuore ingrata?
Ungrateful heart.
Captions copyright 2001
home box office
a division of time warner
entertainment company, L. P.