The Simpsons (1989–…): Season 5, Episode 8 - Boy Scoutz 'n the Hood - full transcript
After joining the Junior Campers while on a sugar high, Bart reluctantly invites Homer to accompany him on the group's annual father-son rafting trip, which soon goes awry.
Thirsting for a way to name the unnameable,
to express the inexpressible.
Tell me more.
Keep cool, Simpson.
Be in the game
but not of the game.
No es bueno.
Winners don't use drugs.
- Aw! I'm outta money.
- Don't say that out loud.
Two Caucasian males
out of money in Sector 4.
Go to code red.
I'm sorry. You'll have to leave.
Oh, man. How are we supposed to
kill the rest of the afternoon?
You mustn't kill time, boys.
You must cherish it.
Seize the day!
Can I have some change
to go get loaded?
Ah. Finally,
a little quiet time...
to read some
of my old favorites.
''Honey Roasted Peanuts.
''Ingredients: Salt...
''artificial honey-roasting agents...
pressed peanut sweepings.''
- Mmm!
- Homer, I have to go out to
pick up something for dinner.
- Steak?
- Money's too tight for steak.
- Steak?
- Mm, sure. Steak.
Ah. The last peanut--
overflowing with the oil and salt
of its departed brothers.
Uh-oh.
Something's wrong.
Hmm. Ow! Pointy.
Eww! Slimy.
Uh-oh! Moving.
Aha! Aw. Twenty dollars.
I wanted a peanut.
- Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
- Explain how.
Money can be exchanged
for goods and services.
Whoo-hoo! Whoa!
- Ow!
- Ow!
- Ow! Ow!
- Ow!
- This is wearin' a bit thin.
- You think so?
- Bart! Look!
- Maybe a plane exploded.
Our prayers have been answered.
Hello, gents.
What will it be?
Apu, give us a Super-Squishy.
One that's made
entirely out of syrup.
- Entirely ou--
-
An all-syrup Super-Squishy?
Oh, sir, such a thing
has never been done.
-Just make it happen.
- Oh. Oh, dear.
Oh! She won't hold!
She's breaking up!
-
- All done.
If you survive,
please come again.
-
- It's so thick!
Your... turn, Bart.
Whoa! That's good Squishy.
What's it like, Bart?
Bart? Bart?
-
- Give me that!
Okay. We're young, rich and full of sugar.
What'll we do?
Let's go crazy Broadway-style!
-
- Yeah.!
" Springfield, Springfield
It's a helluva town "
"The school yard's up
and the shopping mall's down "
"The stray dogs go
to the animal pound "
- " Springfield, Springfield "
- " Springfield, Springfield "
" New York, New York "
- New York is thataway, man.
- Thanks, kid.
" It's a helluva town "
- "
- Whoa. Wow.
Huh? Huh?
Mmm! Free goo.
Hey.! Don't bogart that Squishy.!
I don't know where
you magic pixies came from...
but I like your pixie drink.
- My head.
-
The remorse of the sugar junkie.
I don't remember anything.
Really?
Not even this?
Oh, no!
I must have joined
theJunior Campers.
-
- The few, the proud, the geeky.
Boy! A man on a Squishy bender
can sure do some crazy things.
Uh-oh.
Not again?
Okay, look.
I made a terrible mistake.
I wandered into a Junior Camper
recruitment center, but what's done is done.
I've made my bed,
and now I've gotta weasel out of it.
I know you think theJunior Campers
are square and ''uncool''...
but they also do
a lot of neat things--
like sing-alongs
and flag ceremonies.
Marge, don't discourage the boy.
Weaseling out of things
is important to learn.
It's what separates us from the animals--
except the weasel.
All I've gotta do is take
this uniform back after school.
You're lucky.
You only joined theJunior Campers.
I got a dirty word shaved
into the back of my head.
What is it with you kids and that word?
I'm going to shave you bald,
young man...
until you learn that hair is not a right--
it's a privilege.
What's in the bag, wuss?
Huh? Oh, look.
Camper's Pampers. Ha-ha!
- Keep away!
- Keep away!
- Keep away! Nyah-nyah-nya-nya-nyah!
- Keep away!
Yeah, whatever.
- You better pretend you want
your uniform back, twerp.
-
- Keep away!
- Keep away!
Oh, no. Woe is me.
My precious uniform.
Oh.
- Guess what, class?
- Time for a surprise quiz?
-
That's not what I was gonna say,
but it's a good idea.
Ha! Take out a sheet of paper.
Books under your desks.
-
- But I'm supposed to--
I've got--
I'm supposed to--
Oh, Warren, I nearly forgot. AllJunior Campers
are excused to attend their patrol meeting.
Um, Mrs. Krabappel,
I'd like to stay...
but this uniform carries
certain responsibilities.
Hey, look.
Sergeant Dork!
- Ha-ha!
- Enjoy your test.
Ha-ha--
Aw.
Hello, alternative to testing.
-
- Well, it's Bart Simpson. Come on in.
You're just in time for
Sponge-bath the Old Folks Day.
Help yourself,
but stay above the equator.
Now,just breathe into him
every three seconds.
Make sure you form a tight seal
around his mouth.
No.!
Should I keep doing it?
Well, sir,just apply a smidgen of peanut butter
to an ordinary pine cone...
and you've got yourself
a makeshift bird feeder, sir.
I'm outta here, man.
- Okay. Everybody take out your
Junior Campers pocketknives.
- Hmm?
You guys
get to play with knives?
- Oh, cool. A ''spork.''
- Don't hurt me!
Ooh. Sorry, Bart.
That's a Neddy no-no.
You're not allowed
to handle a pocketknife...
till you read this booklet
on knife safety and pass a test.
Aw, who needs
a cruddy knife anyway?
- Knives are boring.
- Whoa!
When I say put your beer
on a coaster, I mean it!
You call that a knife?
This is a knife.
Down I go.
Oh.
Oh, hi, Bart.
I'd gladly share
these sweet cookies with you...
if only you would help me
remove this ribbon.
- Here's a knife.
- Oh, thank you.
Now let's all share the goodness.
- Share this.
-
This man's appendix
is about to burst.
Luckily, I have
my trusty pocketknife.
-
- Stand back!
- Thank you, Dr. Hibbert.
- Don't thank me.
- Thank the knife.
-
Oh. Seems like
everywhere I look...
people are enjoying knives.
''Don't do what Donny Don't does.''
They could've
made this clearer.
Oh! They won't let you
have any fun.
Well! If it isn't the leader
of the wiener patrol...
boning up on his nerd lessons.
Homer, you should be
more supportive.
- You're right, Marge. Good work, boy.
- Hmm.
" Egghead likes his booky-wook "
- Homer.!
-Just tucking him in.
Here you go--
your rubber training knife.
You've attained the rank
of Pussy Willow.
Rubber knife?
This place is for wimps.
Okay, kids. Now I'm gonna teach ya
how to trap wild animals.
- But this should only be used
in a life-or-death situation.
- Hmm.
Ooh! Floor pie.
I--
Whoa!
Aw. Oh.
-
- Bart.!
Mmm.! Apple.
" The Itchy and Scratchy Show "
The guys who wrote this show
don't know squat.
Itchy should've tied Scratchy's tongue
with a taut-line hitch, not a sheet bend.
- Oh, Bart. Cartoons don't have
to be 1 00% realistic.
- "
Howdilly-hey, Camper Bart!
Ready for today's meeting?
- You know-dilly know it, Neddy.
- Okilly-dokilly.
Our annual father-son
rafting trip is next weekend.
Oh, no.
Me bring Homer on a rafting trip?
Duh, I'm the captain.
My son is Bart.
- What an oaf.
- How embarrassing.
I'm glad he's not my father.
Oh, Warren, I know your dad
is in prison, but don't you fret.
A special celebrity dad
has been arranged for ya.
But my older brother
would like--
Sorry, but I'm afraid Ernest Borgnine
has already been confirmed.
Hiya!
I'm sure you kids
know me best...
as Sergeant FatsoJudson
in From Here to Eternity.
How was jerk practice, boy?
Did they teach you
how to sing to trees...
and build crappy furniture
out of useless wooden logs?
Huh? D'oh!
Stupid poetic justice!
Actually, we were just planning
the father-son river-rafting trip.
Heh-heh!
You don't have a son.
Look. Homer won't wanna go.
So just ask him, and he'll say no.
Then it'll be his fault.
I don't wanna go. So if he asks
me to go, I'll just say yes.
Wait! Are you sure
that's how this sort of thing works?
Shut up, brain,
or I'll stab you with a Q-tip.
Dad, I really want you
to come on this trip with me.
Bart, I'd be delighted
to go on your trip with you.
D'oh!
-
- Aw, come on, kid. Quit cryin'.
It'll be fun.
I promise.
Arr!
Here be a fine vessel...
the yarest river-goin'
boat there be.
I'll take it.
Arr. I don't know
what I'm doin'.
Okeydokey. Everybody find a partner.
Two dads to a raft.
Please not Flanders. Please not Flanders.
Please not Flanders.
Well, Homer, looks like
we're boat buddies, huh?
Want me to zinc your sniffer?
I guess now we know why...
they call 'em rapids
and not ''slowpids,'' huh?
-
- You are not my son.
Eh. Now, what happened
to that gosh-darn map I brought?
-
- Um, I don't know.
But lucky for you,
somebody here is responsible.
Hey! There's a New Mexico.
Whoa, Nelly!
Oh! Quick, Homer!
Which way do we turn?
So many Krusty Burger locations.
Uh-oh! No time.
Matthew, Mark, Luke and John!
Hey, where are the sissy
and the bald guy goin', huh?
-
- Paddle harder, Homer.
- We gotta fight the current.
- Wrong again, Flanders.
In a situation like this,
you just relax...
and let the current
take you back to land.
D'oh.
D'oh.
Lousy piece of junk!
Hey! I got that
for my birthday.
Now I have to face
stupid reality again.
Flanders!
My socks feel dirty.
- Give me some water to wash 'em.
- Again?
Homer, we have to ration the water carefully.
It's our only hope.
Oh, pardon me,
Mr. Let's Ration Everything.
What do you think
we're floatin' on?
Don't you know the poem? Water, water
everywhere, so let's all have a drink.
- Homer! No!
- What does it matter?
We're doomed.
-
- Wrong.
We're saved!
Seagulls always stay near land.
They only go out to sea
to die.
Whoo-hoo!
See that, boy?
Your old man was right,
not Flanders.
We are doomed.
In your face, Flanders!
Well, at least Ned is trying.
What are you doing to help?
Well, since you're all such a big bunch
of big ration babies...
I'll just be in charge
of the rationing.
Look here, boy.
The secret is to take tiny bites, like so.
Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!
- Stop it!
- Stop it!
-
- Let go of my hand!
D'oh!
Why couldn't I be
on one of the smart rafts?
I bet they're having
the time of their life.
Shh.! Shh, shh.! Shh.!
I keep telling you, lady. Your husband and son
have to be missing for a week...
before we can start searching.
I'd like to help sooner. I would,
but we're very, very busy down here.
Heesh!
King me.
Still no help.
You know, it is cougar season,
and those things don't mess around.
A rescue plane!
Get the flare gun!
This ain't one of your church picnic
flare gun firings, Flanders.
This is the real thing.
D'oh! All right.
Well, that's okay.
When they come to rescue him,
they'll rescue us.
D'oh!
Here's our chance.
Dolphins always help humans lost at sea.
Come back!
Come back!
Oh, we're done for.
We're done for.
We're done-didilly done for!
We're done-didilly-dodilly done-didilly-dodilly
done-didilly-dodilly done--
Flanders!
Snap out of it!
Thank you, Homer.
I don't know what got--
-
- Dad! I think he's oka--
-
- It's better...
- to be... safe... than... sorry.
- Dodilly--
- Sorry.
- Didilly--
You see anything yet?
Nothin', Captain. Somebody took
all the beer and cold cuts.
That's it. I'm not even castin' off
until we go to the store.
Homer, this cheese doodle
is our last morsel of food.
You'll thank me when we're
fryin' up a big,juicy fish.
-
- Godspeed, little doodle.
He'll be back.
Here, fishy, fishy, fishy.
We're waiting.
Son, there's something I was gonna
give you at the end of this trip...
but, since we may not survive...
I want you to have it now.
A real Swiss Army knife. Cool!
I stole it
from that Borgnine guy.
Don't worry, kids.
I'll take care of him with my trusty--
Uh, uh--
Um, uh--
Hmm.
Dad, I know I've been a little hard on you
the last couple of days.
If I had the strength to lift my arms,
I'd give you a hug.
Thanks, boy.
Now, be careful when you-- Oops.
Dad, don't take this wrong...
but your expression doesn't
fill me with confidence.
The foul stench of death
is upon us!
Mmm! Hamburger.
Hey, wait! I smell hamburgers too.
According to this map...
there's a Krusty Burger
on an off-shore oil rig.
That's what you're smelling.
If it weren't for this blasted fog, we'd be saved.
Never mind the fog!
That way!
Steer. There isn't much time!
Oh! We're takin' a bath on this.
We tried to tell ya
these are unmanned oil rigs.
Aw, close the damn thing down.
No one's ever gonna come.
- Huh?
- Give me 7 00 Krusty Burgers!
You want fries with that?
-
- You did it, Dad! You saved us!
I'm proud you're my father.
Go away. Eating.
Well, it sure is lucky...
we stumbled upon this old,
abandoned summer camp.
Yeah.
- Hey, how about a song?
- Okay. Yeah.
to express the inexpressible.
Tell me more.
Keep cool, Simpson.
Be in the game
but not of the game.
No es bueno.
Winners don't use drugs.
- Aw! I'm outta money.
- Don't say that out loud.
Two Caucasian males
out of money in Sector 4.
Go to code red.
I'm sorry. You'll have to leave.
Oh, man. How are we supposed to
kill the rest of the afternoon?
You mustn't kill time, boys.
You must cherish it.
Seize the day!
Can I have some change
to go get loaded?
Ah. Finally,
a little quiet time...
to read some
of my old favorites.
''Honey Roasted Peanuts.
''Ingredients: Salt...
''artificial honey-roasting agents...
pressed peanut sweepings.''
- Mmm!
- Homer, I have to go out to
pick up something for dinner.
- Steak?
- Money's too tight for steak.
- Steak?
- Mm, sure. Steak.
Ah. The last peanut--
overflowing with the oil and salt
of its departed brothers.
Uh-oh.
Something's wrong.
Hmm. Ow! Pointy.
Eww! Slimy.
Uh-oh! Moving.
Aha! Aw. Twenty dollars.
I wanted a peanut.
- Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
- Explain how.
Money can be exchanged
for goods and services.
Whoo-hoo! Whoa!
- Ow!
- Ow!
- Ow! Ow!
- Ow!
- This is wearin' a bit thin.
- You think so?
- Bart! Look!
- Maybe a plane exploded.
Our prayers have been answered.
Hello, gents.
What will it be?
Apu, give us a Super-Squishy.
One that's made
entirely out of syrup.
- Entirely ou--
-
An all-syrup Super-Squishy?
Oh, sir, such a thing
has never been done.
-Just make it happen.
- Oh. Oh, dear.
Oh! She won't hold!
She's breaking up!
-
- All done.
If you survive,
please come again.
-
- It's so thick!
Your... turn, Bart.
Whoa! That's good Squishy.
What's it like, Bart?
Bart? Bart?
-
- Give me that!
Okay. We're young, rich and full of sugar.
What'll we do?
Let's go crazy Broadway-style!
-
- Yeah.!
" Springfield, Springfield
It's a helluva town "
"The school yard's up
and the shopping mall's down "
"The stray dogs go
to the animal pound "
- " Springfield, Springfield "
- " Springfield, Springfield "
" New York, New York "
- New York is thataway, man.
- Thanks, kid.
" It's a helluva town "
- "
- Whoa. Wow.
Huh? Huh?
Mmm! Free goo.
Hey.! Don't bogart that Squishy.!
I don't know where
you magic pixies came from...
but I like your pixie drink.
- My head.
-
The remorse of the sugar junkie.
I don't remember anything.
Really?
Not even this?
Oh, no!
I must have joined
theJunior Campers.
-
- The few, the proud, the geeky.
Boy! A man on a Squishy bender
can sure do some crazy things.
Uh-oh.
Not again?
Okay, look.
I made a terrible mistake.
I wandered into a Junior Camper
recruitment center, but what's done is done.
I've made my bed,
and now I've gotta weasel out of it.
I know you think theJunior Campers
are square and ''uncool''...
but they also do
a lot of neat things--
like sing-alongs
and flag ceremonies.
Marge, don't discourage the boy.
Weaseling out of things
is important to learn.
It's what separates us from the animals--
except the weasel.
All I've gotta do is take
this uniform back after school.
You're lucky.
You only joined theJunior Campers.
I got a dirty word shaved
into the back of my head.
What is it with you kids and that word?
I'm going to shave you bald,
young man...
until you learn that hair is not a right--
it's a privilege.
What's in the bag, wuss?
Huh? Oh, look.
Camper's Pampers. Ha-ha!
- Keep away!
- Keep away!
- Keep away! Nyah-nyah-nya-nya-nyah!
- Keep away!
Yeah, whatever.
- You better pretend you want
your uniform back, twerp.
-
- Keep away!
- Keep away!
Oh, no. Woe is me.
My precious uniform.
Oh.
- Guess what, class?
- Time for a surprise quiz?
-
That's not what I was gonna say,
but it's a good idea.
Ha! Take out a sheet of paper.
Books under your desks.
-
- But I'm supposed to--
I've got--
I'm supposed to--
Oh, Warren, I nearly forgot. AllJunior Campers
are excused to attend their patrol meeting.
Um, Mrs. Krabappel,
I'd like to stay...
but this uniform carries
certain responsibilities.
Hey, look.
Sergeant Dork!
- Ha-ha!
- Enjoy your test.
Ha-ha--
Aw.
Hello, alternative to testing.
-
- Well, it's Bart Simpson. Come on in.
You're just in time for
Sponge-bath the Old Folks Day.
Help yourself,
but stay above the equator.
Now,just breathe into him
every three seconds.
Make sure you form a tight seal
around his mouth.
No.!
Should I keep doing it?
Well, sir,just apply a smidgen of peanut butter
to an ordinary pine cone...
and you've got yourself
a makeshift bird feeder, sir.
I'm outta here, man.
- Okay. Everybody take out your
Junior Campers pocketknives.
- Hmm?
You guys
get to play with knives?
- Oh, cool. A ''spork.''
- Don't hurt me!
Ooh. Sorry, Bart.
That's a Neddy no-no.
You're not allowed
to handle a pocketknife...
till you read this booklet
on knife safety and pass a test.
Aw, who needs
a cruddy knife anyway?
- Knives are boring.
- Whoa!
When I say put your beer
on a coaster, I mean it!
You call that a knife?
This is a knife.
Down I go.
Oh.
Oh, hi, Bart.
I'd gladly share
these sweet cookies with you...
if only you would help me
remove this ribbon.
- Here's a knife.
- Oh, thank you.
Now let's all share the goodness.
- Share this.
-
This man's appendix
is about to burst.
Luckily, I have
my trusty pocketknife.
-
- Stand back!
- Thank you, Dr. Hibbert.
- Don't thank me.
- Thank the knife.
-
Oh. Seems like
everywhere I look...
people are enjoying knives.
''Don't do what Donny Don't does.''
They could've
made this clearer.
Oh! They won't let you
have any fun.
Well! If it isn't the leader
of the wiener patrol...
boning up on his nerd lessons.
Homer, you should be
more supportive.
- You're right, Marge. Good work, boy.
- Hmm.
" Egghead likes his booky-wook "
- Homer.!
-Just tucking him in.
Here you go--
your rubber training knife.
You've attained the rank
of Pussy Willow.
Rubber knife?
This place is for wimps.
Okay, kids. Now I'm gonna teach ya
how to trap wild animals.
- But this should only be used
in a life-or-death situation.
- Hmm.
Ooh! Floor pie.
I--
Whoa!
Aw. Oh.
-
- Bart.!
Mmm.! Apple.
" The Itchy and Scratchy Show "
The guys who wrote this show
don't know squat.
Itchy should've tied Scratchy's tongue
with a taut-line hitch, not a sheet bend.
- Oh, Bart. Cartoons don't have
to be 1 00% realistic.
- "
Howdilly-hey, Camper Bart!
Ready for today's meeting?
- You know-dilly know it, Neddy.
- Okilly-dokilly.
Our annual father-son
rafting trip is next weekend.
Oh, no.
Me bring Homer on a rafting trip?
Duh, I'm the captain.
My son is Bart.
- What an oaf.
- How embarrassing.
I'm glad he's not my father.
Oh, Warren, I know your dad
is in prison, but don't you fret.
A special celebrity dad
has been arranged for ya.
But my older brother
would like--
Sorry, but I'm afraid Ernest Borgnine
has already been confirmed.
Hiya!
I'm sure you kids
know me best...
as Sergeant FatsoJudson
in From Here to Eternity.
How was jerk practice, boy?
Did they teach you
how to sing to trees...
and build crappy furniture
out of useless wooden logs?
Huh? D'oh!
Stupid poetic justice!
Actually, we were just planning
the father-son river-rafting trip.
Heh-heh!
You don't have a son.
Look. Homer won't wanna go.
So just ask him, and he'll say no.
Then it'll be his fault.
I don't wanna go. So if he asks
me to go, I'll just say yes.
Wait! Are you sure
that's how this sort of thing works?
Shut up, brain,
or I'll stab you with a Q-tip.
Dad, I really want you
to come on this trip with me.
Bart, I'd be delighted
to go on your trip with you.
D'oh!
-
- Aw, come on, kid. Quit cryin'.
It'll be fun.
I promise.
Arr!
Here be a fine vessel...
the yarest river-goin'
boat there be.
I'll take it.
Arr. I don't know
what I'm doin'.
Okeydokey. Everybody find a partner.
Two dads to a raft.
Please not Flanders. Please not Flanders.
Please not Flanders.
Well, Homer, looks like
we're boat buddies, huh?
Want me to zinc your sniffer?
I guess now we know why...
they call 'em rapids
and not ''slowpids,'' huh?
-
- You are not my son.
Eh. Now, what happened
to that gosh-darn map I brought?
-
- Um, I don't know.
But lucky for you,
somebody here is responsible.
Hey! There's a New Mexico.
Whoa, Nelly!
Oh! Quick, Homer!
Which way do we turn?
So many Krusty Burger locations.
Uh-oh! No time.
Matthew, Mark, Luke and John!
Hey, where are the sissy
and the bald guy goin', huh?
-
- Paddle harder, Homer.
- We gotta fight the current.
- Wrong again, Flanders.
In a situation like this,
you just relax...
and let the current
take you back to land.
D'oh.
D'oh.
Lousy piece of junk!
Hey! I got that
for my birthday.
Now I have to face
stupid reality again.
Flanders!
My socks feel dirty.
- Give me some water to wash 'em.
- Again?
Homer, we have to ration the water carefully.
It's our only hope.
Oh, pardon me,
Mr. Let's Ration Everything.
What do you think
we're floatin' on?
Don't you know the poem? Water, water
everywhere, so let's all have a drink.
- Homer! No!
- What does it matter?
We're doomed.
-
- Wrong.
We're saved!
Seagulls always stay near land.
They only go out to sea
to die.
Whoo-hoo!
See that, boy?
Your old man was right,
not Flanders.
We are doomed.
In your face, Flanders!
Well, at least Ned is trying.
What are you doing to help?
Well, since you're all such a big bunch
of big ration babies...
I'll just be in charge
of the rationing.
Look here, boy.
The secret is to take tiny bites, like so.
Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!
- Stop it!
- Stop it!
-
- Let go of my hand!
D'oh!
Why couldn't I be
on one of the smart rafts?
I bet they're having
the time of their life.
Shh.! Shh, shh.! Shh.!
I keep telling you, lady. Your husband and son
have to be missing for a week...
before we can start searching.
I'd like to help sooner. I would,
but we're very, very busy down here.
Heesh!
King me.
Still no help.
You know, it is cougar season,
and those things don't mess around.
A rescue plane!
Get the flare gun!
This ain't one of your church picnic
flare gun firings, Flanders.
This is the real thing.
D'oh! All right.
Well, that's okay.
When they come to rescue him,
they'll rescue us.
D'oh!
Here's our chance.
Dolphins always help humans lost at sea.
Come back!
Come back!
Oh, we're done for.
We're done for.
We're done-didilly done for!
We're done-didilly-dodilly done-didilly-dodilly
done-didilly-dodilly done--
Flanders!
Snap out of it!
Thank you, Homer.
I don't know what got--
-
- Dad! I think he's oka--
-
- It's better...
- to be... safe... than... sorry.
- Dodilly--
- Sorry.
- Didilly--
You see anything yet?
Nothin', Captain. Somebody took
all the beer and cold cuts.
That's it. I'm not even castin' off
until we go to the store.
Homer, this cheese doodle
is our last morsel of food.
You'll thank me when we're
fryin' up a big,juicy fish.
-
- Godspeed, little doodle.
He'll be back.
Here, fishy, fishy, fishy.
We're waiting.
Son, there's something I was gonna
give you at the end of this trip...
but, since we may not survive...
I want you to have it now.
A real Swiss Army knife. Cool!
I stole it
from that Borgnine guy.
Don't worry, kids.
I'll take care of him with my trusty--
Uh, uh--
Um, uh--
Hmm.
Dad, I know I've been a little hard on you
the last couple of days.
If I had the strength to lift my arms,
I'd give you a hug.
Thanks, boy.
Now, be careful when you-- Oops.
Dad, don't take this wrong...
but your expression doesn't
fill me with confidence.
The foul stench of death
is upon us!
Mmm! Hamburger.
Hey, wait! I smell hamburgers too.
According to this map...
there's a Krusty Burger
on an off-shore oil rig.
That's what you're smelling.
If it weren't for this blasted fog, we'd be saved.
Never mind the fog!
That way!
Steer. There isn't much time!
Oh! We're takin' a bath on this.
We tried to tell ya
these are unmanned oil rigs.
Aw, close the damn thing down.
No one's ever gonna come.
- Huh?
- Give me 7 00 Krusty Burgers!
You want fries with that?
-
- You did it, Dad! You saved us!
I'm proud you're my father.
Go away. Eating.
Well, it sure is lucky...
we stumbled upon this old,
abandoned summer camp.
Yeah.
- Hey, how about a song?
- Okay. Yeah.