The Simpsons (1989–…): Season 21, Episode 5 - The Devil Wears Nada - full transcript
In an effort to raise money for charity, Marge and "Philanthro-Chicks" decide to pose for a calendar. At the photo studio, Marge is a bit reluctant to reveal any skin, but the photographer loosens her up with wine and before long, Marge and her pin-up poses are the talk of Springfield.
¶ for he's a jolly good fellow ¶
¶ which nobody can deny ¶
¶ except his ex-wife. ¶
(all laughing)
So what are you going to do
without us numskulls
To supervise?
I plan to fill the void
with gardening, early dining,
And I've been learning
to speak mandarin chinese.
(speaking pseudo-mandarin)
That's garbage,
that's total garbage.
(homer humming)
I'm going to miss ted.
He was a good
supervisor.
Definitely
hands-off.
He didn't mind
if we punched in
A little late
or not at all.
Or that we made a few
adjustments to the soda machine.
(all laugh)
Carl:
Yeah.
Homer:
Beer.
Here's to us--
the unsupervisables.
(groans)
I expect you're all
anxiously awaiting
My choice
for your new supervisor.
Can't we just all supervise
ourselves?
(all giggling excitedly)
(tires screeching)
I win!
In any event,
Much as what formerly was
my kidney is now my heart,
I have decided
to promote from within.
One of you will get the job.
But which one?
(fly buzzing)
(guzzling)
Aah!
(electrical buzzing)
Hmm...
Congratulations.
I dub thee king
of the morons,
Also known as supervisor
for sector 7-g.
Here is your key to
the executive washroom.
Hmm.
Lenny & homer:
Whoo-hoo!
Our boss is our best buddy.
The nitwits are running
the goofhouse.
Yeah.
Hey, carl, why aren't you
high-fiving?
You know, I'd rather
save my arm-lifting
For tapping gauges or filling
out employee evaluations.
We can celebrate
at moe's.
(delighted whooping)
After work.
(both groan)
And the first beer's on me.
You see, he
hasn't changed.
Carl (over p.A.):
Yes, I have,
In ways you're only beginning
to suspect.
(clinking)
I call to order
this meeting
Of the springfield
charity chicks.
As you all know, last year's
cake and cookie sale raised
$112 to fight childhood obesity.
(moans)
Thank you, charity chicks.
Whoa!
Now, who has ideas
For this year's fundraiser?
Well, the police department
raised money
By selling
these beefcake calendars.
Ooh, that's quite
a thing.
Mrs. Skinner:
Yeah, great.
I have a
great idea.
Let's do what they
did but with us.
We are
a good-looking bunch.
(excited chatter)
We just need a theme.
Hmm.
Ah!
How about history?
(overlapping chatter)
Then it's set.
We'll do it on the 25th of....
(groans)
...Wiggum.
(camera shutter clicking)
Okay, betsy ross,
bring history to life.
Ooh, I love it.
Don't stop, don't
stop, don't stop.
Okay, stop, we got plenty.
All right, who's my next
sexy historical lady?
I am.
The female tiger woods
of the 1930s--
Babe didrikson zaharias.
Ooh, you know marge,
if you want to sell calendars,
I'm going
to need to see
More "babe" and less
"didrikson zaharias."
Fine, I'll take
off one glove.
Mm-hmm.
Hmm, you know
what would look super good?
If you held
this glass of red wine.
Mmm, I love this wine.
Yeah, it's andalusian.
Well, it seems real to me.
(laughs)
Okay, more wine
for you.
(raucous laughter)
(humming)
Ooh, that's caliente, baby.
Ooh, ooh,
Pop goes the chupacabra.
(marge humming,
camera shutter clicking)
Whoop!
Okay.
Mmm, oh, meow.
Meow, meow, meow.
(humming)
Whoops!
(giggling)
(homer laughs)
Hey, carl,
Look how I messed
with the names
On the softball
sign-up sheet.
(giggling)
It's delicious.
You know how smitty's name
is smitty?
(laughs)
Well, not anymore.
I changed the "m" to a...
That'll do, homer.
...To a "p"--
Spitty, 'cause he
spits when he talks.
He had to have part
of his tongue removed.
That's real funny.
Oh, well, I
didn't know that.
Well, now you know.
Oh, quit dragging me.
When I grow up,
I'm gonna drag you around
And buy you clothes.
Oh, that's wonderful.
(groans)
What's all the hubbub-aloo?
(moans)
(screams)
I've been pin-upped.
(groaning)
And every month is me.
(gasps)
I don't remember
doing this.
(gasps)
I certainly don't remember
doing August.
Hey, calendar lady, you
gonna take your clothes off?
No.
Well, I got the
next best thing.
(chuckling)
Whoo-hoo.
(chuckling)
Great safety report,
homer.
No meltdowns all week.
I'm making you
my new executive assistant.
Why can't I keep the job
I have now, whatever it is?
Not an option,
big fella.
Either you're my assistant
or you find a job elsewhere,
And in this economy,
elsewhere ain't hiring.
Oh, fine, I guess
I'm at your beck.
And call.
No...!
Yeah.
Oh, no,
It's a big turnout
at church today,
And the whole congregation has
seen my scandinavian regions.
(crowd murmuring)
Here comes the woman
who made February
The hottest month of the year.
Her shapely gams
have finally persuaded me
To switch from the julian
calendar to the gregorian.
Marge, girl,
I just heard
your pants ain't hiring
Because your butt won't quit.
(sighing)
(groans)
Homie, everyone
loved my calendar,
But only you get
to flip the pages.
Calendar?
Oh, my god, I forgot to move
carl's 12:30 to 2:30.
Oh, his astrologist will show up
At the same time
as his astronomer.
This is not good,
this is not good.
(moans)
How about a little
marge madness?
(horn blowing)
(motor stalling)
Oh, who am I kidding?
Marge, would you mind
if we just cuddle?
Cuddling's for after.
(marge moaning)
(both moaning)
(homer snoring, marge gasping)
(mumbling)
(sighs)
Tomorrow, my love.
(groans)
Stupid carl.
"update the phone list,
homer.
"you put my
contact lenses in
Backwards, homer."
(sighs)
I'm sorry, honey.
Maybe this will take
your mind off work.
Wash my car.
Re-foam my latte.
Book me a massage.
Shiatsu or better.
(screams)
leave me alone, you two!
(sobbing)
(sighs)
Mrs. Krabappel:
Class,
Today we're going to talk
About washington crossing
the delaware.
I'd like to watch bart's mom
washing her underwear.
The british were led
by general howe.
I'd give bart's mom
a general wow.
Knock it off.
That's my mom you're
talking about.
Keep-away
with bart's mom.
Mrs. S.,
you can tuck me in anytime.
Okay, buddy,
lower the eyebrows,
Nice and easy.
Ow!
It's stuck!
I'll have a quizzical expression
for the rest of my life.
I'd like to get quizzical
with bart's mom.
Shut up!
(both grunt)
Standing up for yourself
to an older boy?
We're going to
have to set up
An appointment
with your parents.
Let me, uh,
check my calendar.
(chuckles slyly)
I'm suddenly feeling, uh,
un-administrative feelings.
(both laughing lasciviously)
Yes.
(groans)
(floorboards creaking)
Homie?
Honey, I know it's been
a rough couple of weeks,
But I booked us a night
this Saturday
At a very
romantic hotel.
Garden view?
Ocean view,
obstructed.
(swoons)
All right, I put in
a hundred-hour work week,
But I took a power nap
while I was driving us here
And now I'm rarin' to go.
Well, I brought a few items to
make our night extra special--
Massage oil, some lingerie
from the horny hubby,
And snuggle dice.
This one has an action
and this one has a body part.
See?
"nuzzle... Neck."
With pleasure!
Let me try.
"lick... Eyes."
Uh, I'll try again.
"spank... Hair"?
What the...?
(die rattling)
"whisper into ass"?
Oh, this game sucks!
Why don't you just roll me?
We're gonna be...
(yawns) snore in the morning.
Damn it, why won't
you touch me?
Mm... Ooh.
Okay.
Kiss me, baby!
Kiss me like a frog
in a fairy tale!
(moaning and squealing)
(phone ringing)
Carl:
Great news, homer!
I've been invited to the annual
Nuclear-power expo
in paris, France.
That's right,
we're going to fission week!
(squealing):
Oh! Whoo-hoo!
I need you to book me
a room at the ritz,
With a view
of jim morrison's grave
And book me dinner
at that place.
You know the one,
the one lenny's mom
Read about two years ago.
(groaning)
I'll make it up to you,
marge, I swear.
Last night was the
making it up to me!
The most intimate moment
We shared this week was
my ironing your shirts!
Actually, those
were carl's shirts.
Oh!
I can't believe
you're gonna spend
Another weekend with him.
Hey, it's not like
I want to go.
Go, go, go!
No!!
(grunting angrily)
Diddily...
(gasps)
Okay, fission week
kicks off on Monday
With a reception by the
international proton council.
Word is, protons
are the new electrons.
You know, homer,
when I was your age,
It was the future,
'cause I'm younger than you.
Just something
to think about.
I will.
Edamame?
I don't have time for peeling.
Squirt them in.
Well, boys, daddy's
back on the beam,
Thanks to christian prayer
and doctor sheldon lowenstein.
We thought you
were gonna die.
And then uncle kevin
would have to raise us.
With his funny friend, david.
Oh, I'd put rocks
into your pockets
And walk you out to sea
before that happened.
Yay!
Yay!
(doorbell ringing)
Ned, to make up
for what happened,
I want to invite
you and the boys
Over to dinner
tomorrow night.
Okily-dokily,
but I'm warning you,
You're gonna see america's
number one dishwashing crew!
I wash!
And I dry!
Then I give 'em the squeak test
and into the dishwasher they go.
Oh!
(camera shutters clicking)
(photographers clamoring)
Carl carlson, it is
good to meet you.
Thank you, um...
French nuclear commissioner
etienne ducharme.
Commissioner ducharme,
I trust that
your wife is, uh...
(whispering)
...Still dead?
Yes, thank you for asking.
Monsieur carlson, what have
you enjoyed most about paris?
Oh, I really love, uh...
(whispering)
the louvre.
Everything about it
is so, uh...
(whispers)
closed on mondays.
You are clearly
a man of the world.
May I have your card?
My assistant
will give you that.
Can we meet for lunch?
My assistant
will set that up.
I want to make love, now!
My assistant will do a sensual
dance for your arousal.
Come on, come on, come on,
sensual dance, chop, chop.
Uh, okay.
(humming)
(laughing)
(giggling)
I love paris.
The women, the wine!
Everything except their lame-o
version of rock and roll.
¶ rock and roll,
rock and roll! ¶
¶ rock and roll! ¶
When we get back to the hotel,
I want you to extend our stay.
Indefinitely.
But I have to get
back to marge.
Homer, we are this close
to selling our power in paris,
Milan, dubai, everywhere
people know good electricity.
But we gotta focus!
Monsieur carl!
Let us stroll down
main street euro-disney!
(both laughing)
¶ le sexy rock and roll,
the films of claude chabrol ¶
¶ ooh la la, c'est dommage
everybody eat fromage! ¶
¶ ¶
(siren wailing)
(marge as siren):
Homie! Homie! Homie!
Homie! Homie!
(voice trails off):
Homie!
You two are going out?
I thought I told you
The flanderses were
coming over to dinner.
Sorry, I have a tea
party at janey's.
And I'm having
a stink bomb party
At the house
next to janey's.
No connection.
Hmm, I guess it'll
just be dinner for four.
(doorbell ringing)
Hi, ned.
Where are the boys?
Oh, they're grounded.
I found out rod watched a
commercial for "grey's anatomy,"
And todd took
a full day to tell me.
It's fun to cook
dinner together.
Homer and I never
do it anymore.
Cook together, that is.
What's the next task
on the old I-dinnerary?
You could wash
this iceberg lettuce.
Oh!
Oh!
¶ ¶
(gasping)
Ooh!
Oh...
(organ plays)
Oh...
(both moaning ecstatically)
(panting)
Marge:
Gosh, what a hunk!
Flanders:
I'm not thinking straight.
Why did I drink that
wine cooler last month?
(oven bell dings)
Dinner's ready!
Dinner's ready!
Saved by the bell
from eternity in hell.
(nervous giggling)
(phone ringing)
(whines) bonjour.
Homer, there is a moth
in my room!
Where are you?
Where I should've been
all along.
In springfield.
What?! Homer!
Return to the immortal
city of light at once,
Or you're fired!
Oh, I don't think so.
You know that woman
you've been playing
"hide the baguette" with?
She's the first lady
of France, carla bruni!
If you fire me,
I'll call president sarkozy,
And he'll be all over you
like truffaut on hitchcock.
You wouldn't dare!
Oh, wouldn't I?
Just listen.
(speed-dialing tone)
(phone buzzing)
Hello, you are getting
cozy with sarkozy.
Uh... Okay, okay, you win.
Give my best to marge.
I sure will.
But only after I give her mine.
Nuclear secrets,
pictures of lenny.
Everything I need for my plan!
Marge, that dinner
was a winner!
What's for dessert?
Oh, nothing fancy.
Just strawberries
and whipped cream.
Mmm-mm!
Mmm-mm-mm!
(slurping)
Mmm...
(gasps and giggles)
Mmm...
Ned, you got whipped cream
in your mustache.
Your perfectly
trimmed mustache.
Oh, ned, there's
only one man
I should be eating
whipped cream with.
I never thought otherwise.
Well, see you around
the mailbox, marge.
My wife?
And my worst friend?
Could it be?
(growling)
Nah!
Homie, you're back!
Hey, ned.
Marge, I believe we have
a little unfinished business.
Come with me!
Oh!
(moaning)
Oh, baby, oh, baby!
(moaning passionately)
Marge:
Oh, homer!
(shelf rattling, dish breaking)
Boy, that was
worth the wait.
Now, it's my turn
to roll the dice!
Want to kiss them for me?
Uh-huh.
(kisses)
Classic.
(chuckles)
¶ which nobody can deny ¶
¶ except his ex-wife. ¶
(all laughing)
So what are you going to do
without us numskulls
To supervise?
I plan to fill the void
with gardening, early dining,
And I've been learning
to speak mandarin chinese.
(speaking pseudo-mandarin)
That's garbage,
that's total garbage.
(homer humming)
I'm going to miss ted.
He was a good
supervisor.
Definitely
hands-off.
He didn't mind
if we punched in
A little late
or not at all.
Or that we made a few
adjustments to the soda machine.
(all laugh)
Carl:
Yeah.
Homer:
Beer.
Here's to us--
the unsupervisables.
(groans)
I expect you're all
anxiously awaiting
My choice
for your new supervisor.
Can't we just all supervise
ourselves?
(all giggling excitedly)
(tires screeching)
I win!
In any event,
Much as what formerly was
my kidney is now my heart,
I have decided
to promote from within.
One of you will get the job.
But which one?
(fly buzzing)
(guzzling)
Aah!
(electrical buzzing)
Hmm...
Congratulations.
I dub thee king
of the morons,
Also known as supervisor
for sector 7-g.
Here is your key to
the executive washroom.
Hmm.
Lenny & homer:
Whoo-hoo!
Our boss is our best buddy.
The nitwits are running
the goofhouse.
Yeah.
Hey, carl, why aren't you
high-fiving?
You know, I'd rather
save my arm-lifting
For tapping gauges or filling
out employee evaluations.
We can celebrate
at moe's.
(delighted whooping)
After work.
(both groan)
And the first beer's on me.
You see, he
hasn't changed.
Carl (over p.A.):
Yes, I have,
In ways you're only beginning
to suspect.
(clinking)
I call to order
this meeting
Of the springfield
charity chicks.
As you all know, last year's
cake and cookie sale raised
$112 to fight childhood obesity.
(moans)
Thank you, charity chicks.
Whoa!
Now, who has ideas
For this year's fundraiser?
Well, the police department
raised money
By selling
these beefcake calendars.
Ooh, that's quite
a thing.
Mrs. Skinner:
Yeah, great.
I have a
great idea.
Let's do what they
did but with us.
We are
a good-looking bunch.
(excited chatter)
We just need a theme.
Hmm.
Ah!
How about history?
(overlapping chatter)
Then it's set.
We'll do it on the 25th of....
(groans)
...Wiggum.
(camera shutter clicking)
Okay, betsy ross,
bring history to life.
Ooh, I love it.
Don't stop, don't
stop, don't stop.
Okay, stop, we got plenty.
All right, who's my next
sexy historical lady?
I am.
The female tiger woods
of the 1930s--
Babe didrikson zaharias.
Ooh, you know marge,
if you want to sell calendars,
I'm going
to need to see
More "babe" and less
"didrikson zaharias."
Fine, I'll take
off one glove.
Mm-hmm.
Hmm, you know
what would look super good?
If you held
this glass of red wine.
Mmm, I love this wine.
Yeah, it's andalusian.
Well, it seems real to me.
(laughs)
Okay, more wine
for you.
(raucous laughter)
(humming)
Ooh, that's caliente, baby.
Ooh, ooh,
Pop goes the chupacabra.
(marge humming,
camera shutter clicking)
Whoop!
Okay.
Mmm, oh, meow.
Meow, meow, meow.
(humming)
Whoops!
(giggling)
(homer laughs)
Hey, carl,
Look how I messed
with the names
On the softball
sign-up sheet.
(giggling)
It's delicious.
You know how smitty's name
is smitty?
(laughs)
Well, not anymore.
I changed the "m" to a...
That'll do, homer.
...To a "p"--
Spitty, 'cause he
spits when he talks.
He had to have part
of his tongue removed.
That's real funny.
Oh, well, I
didn't know that.
Well, now you know.
Oh, quit dragging me.
When I grow up,
I'm gonna drag you around
And buy you clothes.
Oh, that's wonderful.
(groans)
What's all the hubbub-aloo?
(moans)
(screams)
I've been pin-upped.
(groaning)
And every month is me.
(gasps)
I don't remember
doing this.
(gasps)
I certainly don't remember
doing August.
Hey, calendar lady, you
gonna take your clothes off?
No.
Well, I got the
next best thing.
(chuckling)
Whoo-hoo.
(chuckling)
Great safety report,
homer.
No meltdowns all week.
I'm making you
my new executive assistant.
Why can't I keep the job
I have now, whatever it is?
Not an option,
big fella.
Either you're my assistant
or you find a job elsewhere,
And in this economy,
elsewhere ain't hiring.
Oh, fine, I guess
I'm at your beck.
And call.
No...!
Yeah.
Oh, no,
It's a big turnout
at church today,
And the whole congregation has
seen my scandinavian regions.
(crowd murmuring)
Here comes the woman
who made February
The hottest month of the year.
Her shapely gams
have finally persuaded me
To switch from the julian
calendar to the gregorian.
Marge, girl,
I just heard
your pants ain't hiring
Because your butt won't quit.
(sighing)
(groans)
Homie, everyone
loved my calendar,
But only you get
to flip the pages.
Calendar?
Oh, my god, I forgot to move
carl's 12:30 to 2:30.
Oh, his astrologist will show up
At the same time
as his astronomer.
This is not good,
this is not good.
(moans)
How about a little
marge madness?
(horn blowing)
(motor stalling)
Oh, who am I kidding?
Marge, would you mind
if we just cuddle?
Cuddling's for after.
(marge moaning)
(both moaning)
(homer snoring, marge gasping)
(mumbling)
(sighs)
Tomorrow, my love.
(groans)
Stupid carl.
"update the phone list,
homer.
"you put my
contact lenses in
Backwards, homer."
(sighs)
I'm sorry, honey.
Maybe this will take
your mind off work.
Wash my car.
Re-foam my latte.
Book me a massage.
Shiatsu or better.
(screams)
leave me alone, you two!
(sobbing)
(sighs)
Mrs. Krabappel:
Class,
Today we're going to talk
About washington crossing
the delaware.
I'd like to watch bart's mom
washing her underwear.
The british were led
by general howe.
I'd give bart's mom
a general wow.
Knock it off.
That's my mom you're
talking about.
Keep-away
with bart's mom.
Mrs. S.,
you can tuck me in anytime.
Okay, buddy,
lower the eyebrows,
Nice and easy.
Ow!
It's stuck!
I'll have a quizzical expression
for the rest of my life.
I'd like to get quizzical
with bart's mom.
Shut up!
(both grunt)
Standing up for yourself
to an older boy?
We're going to
have to set up
An appointment
with your parents.
Let me, uh,
check my calendar.
(chuckles slyly)
I'm suddenly feeling, uh,
un-administrative feelings.
(both laughing lasciviously)
Yes.
(groans)
(floorboards creaking)
Homie?
Honey, I know it's been
a rough couple of weeks,
But I booked us a night
this Saturday
At a very
romantic hotel.
Garden view?
Ocean view,
obstructed.
(swoons)
All right, I put in
a hundred-hour work week,
But I took a power nap
while I was driving us here
And now I'm rarin' to go.
Well, I brought a few items to
make our night extra special--
Massage oil, some lingerie
from the horny hubby,
And snuggle dice.
This one has an action
and this one has a body part.
See?
"nuzzle... Neck."
With pleasure!
Let me try.
"lick... Eyes."
Uh, I'll try again.
"spank... Hair"?
What the...?
(die rattling)
"whisper into ass"?
Oh, this game sucks!
Why don't you just roll me?
We're gonna be...
(yawns) snore in the morning.
Damn it, why won't
you touch me?
Mm... Ooh.
Okay.
Kiss me, baby!
Kiss me like a frog
in a fairy tale!
(moaning and squealing)
(phone ringing)
Carl:
Great news, homer!
I've been invited to the annual
Nuclear-power expo
in paris, France.
That's right,
we're going to fission week!
(squealing):
Oh! Whoo-hoo!
I need you to book me
a room at the ritz,
With a view
of jim morrison's grave
And book me dinner
at that place.
You know the one,
the one lenny's mom
Read about two years ago.
(groaning)
I'll make it up to you,
marge, I swear.
Last night was the
making it up to me!
The most intimate moment
We shared this week was
my ironing your shirts!
Actually, those
were carl's shirts.
Oh!
I can't believe
you're gonna spend
Another weekend with him.
Hey, it's not like
I want to go.
Go, go, go!
No!!
(grunting angrily)
Diddily...
(gasps)
Okay, fission week
kicks off on Monday
With a reception by the
international proton council.
Word is, protons
are the new electrons.
You know, homer,
when I was your age,
It was the future,
'cause I'm younger than you.
Just something
to think about.
I will.
Edamame?
I don't have time for peeling.
Squirt them in.
Well, boys, daddy's
back on the beam,
Thanks to christian prayer
and doctor sheldon lowenstein.
We thought you
were gonna die.
And then uncle kevin
would have to raise us.
With his funny friend, david.
Oh, I'd put rocks
into your pockets
And walk you out to sea
before that happened.
Yay!
Yay!
(doorbell ringing)
Ned, to make up
for what happened,
I want to invite
you and the boys
Over to dinner
tomorrow night.
Okily-dokily,
but I'm warning you,
You're gonna see america's
number one dishwashing crew!
I wash!
And I dry!
Then I give 'em the squeak test
and into the dishwasher they go.
Oh!
(camera shutters clicking)
(photographers clamoring)
Carl carlson, it is
good to meet you.
Thank you, um...
French nuclear commissioner
etienne ducharme.
Commissioner ducharme,
I trust that
your wife is, uh...
(whispering)
...Still dead?
Yes, thank you for asking.
Monsieur carlson, what have
you enjoyed most about paris?
Oh, I really love, uh...
(whispering)
the louvre.
Everything about it
is so, uh...
(whispers)
closed on mondays.
You are clearly
a man of the world.
May I have your card?
My assistant
will give you that.
Can we meet for lunch?
My assistant
will set that up.
I want to make love, now!
My assistant will do a sensual
dance for your arousal.
Come on, come on, come on,
sensual dance, chop, chop.
Uh, okay.
(humming)
(laughing)
(giggling)
I love paris.
The women, the wine!
Everything except their lame-o
version of rock and roll.
¶ rock and roll,
rock and roll! ¶
¶ rock and roll! ¶
When we get back to the hotel,
I want you to extend our stay.
Indefinitely.
But I have to get
back to marge.
Homer, we are this close
to selling our power in paris,
Milan, dubai, everywhere
people know good electricity.
But we gotta focus!
Monsieur carl!
Let us stroll down
main street euro-disney!
(both laughing)
¶ le sexy rock and roll,
the films of claude chabrol ¶
¶ ooh la la, c'est dommage
everybody eat fromage! ¶
¶ ¶
(siren wailing)
(marge as siren):
Homie! Homie! Homie!
Homie! Homie!
(voice trails off):
Homie!
You two are going out?
I thought I told you
The flanderses were
coming over to dinner.
Sorry, I have a tea
party at janey's.
And I'm having
a stink bomb party
At the house
next to janey's.
No connection.
Hmm, I guess it'll
just be dinner for four.
(doorbell ringing)
Hi, ned.
Where are the boys?
Oh, they're grounded.
I found out rod watched a
commercial for "grey's anatomy,"
And todd took
a full day to tell me.
It's fun to cook
dinner together.
Homer and I never
do it anymore.
Cook together, that is.
What's the next task
on the old I-dinnerary?
You could wash
this iceberg lettuce.
Oh!
Oh!
¶ ¶
(gasping)
Ooh!
Oh...
(organ plays)
Oh...
(both moaning ecstatically)
(panting)
Marge:
Gosh, what a hunk!
Flanders:
I'm not thinking straight.
Why did I drink that
wine cooler last month?
(oven bell dings)
Dinner's ready!
Dinner's ready!
Saved by the bell
from eternity in hell.
(nervous giggling)
(phone ringing)
(whines) bonjour.
Homer, there is a moth
in my room!
Where are you?
Where I should've been
all along.
In springfield.
What?! Homer!
Return to the immortal
city of light at once,
Or you're fired!
Oh, I don't think so.
You know that woman
you've been playing
"hide the baguette" with?
She's the first lady
of France, carla bruni!
If you fire me,
I'll call president sarkozy,
And he'll be all over you
like truffaut on hitchcock.
You wouldn't dare!
Oh, wouldn't I?
Just listen.
(speed-dialing tone)
(phone buzzing)
Hello, you are getting
cozy with sarkozy.
Uh... Okay, okay, you win.
Give my best to marge.
I sure will.
But only after I give her mine.
Nuclear secrets,
pictures of lenny.
Everything I need for my plan!
Marge, that dinner
was a winner!
What's for dessert?
Oh, nothing fancy.
Just strawberries
and whipped cream.
Mmm-mm!
Mmm-mm-mm!
(slurping)
Mmm...
(gasps and giggles)
Mmm...
Ned, you got whipped cream
in your mustache.
Your perfectly
trimmed mustache.
Oh, ned, there's
only one man
I should be eating
whipped cream with.
I never thought otherwise.
Well, see you around
the mailbox, marge.
My wife?
And my worst friend?
Could it be?
(growling)
Nah!
Homie, you're back!
Hey, ned.
Marge, I believe we have
a little unfinished business.
Come with me!
Oh!
(moaning)
Oh, baby, oh, baby!
(moaning passionately)
Marge:
Oh, homer!
(shelf rattling, dish breaking)
Boy, that was
worth the wait.
Now, it's my turn
to roll the dice!
Want to kiss them for me?
Uh-huh.
(kisses)
Classic.
(chuckles)