The Royals (2015–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - Unmask Her Beauty to the Moon - full transcript

Previously on The Royals...

Helly... I love you.

I love you, too.

And remember... enthusiasm counts.

I remember the drugs
that I put in your drink.

I remember every sordid,

depraved, self-loathing
thing that you did after that.

You know, when I forget,
I just watch the video.

Get it all sorted and
want to have a proper date,

you have my number.

I've chosen her as my lady
in waiting on the rural tour.



I merely came to remind you

what the next King of England gets.

Me.

I'm on my way to pick you up for
that date you've been avoiding.

The big annual charity
masquerade ball is in a few days.

- I very much want you to be there.
- Absolutely.

Two tickets. One for you
and one for your boyfriend.

"Yo bitch. Get your ass down here
and help me pick out a dress."

These are nice.

You're so cute. That's not my closet.

This is my closet.

Okay, your closet is almost
bigger than my bedroom.

I don't even know where
to begin to choose a dress.

Oh... actually, these aren't the dresses.



These are the dresses.

The perks of being a princess.

- It's why people hate you.
- I know.

Now help me pick out the best one.

I was pleased to hear Liam
invited you to the ball.

I was less pleased he
invited your new boyfriend.

- What's his name again?
- Nick.

- And he's not my boyfriend.
- Of course he's not.

"And why?" you ask.

It's because you're into Liam

and he's into you but you got jealous

and lashed out on Instagram

and he called you on your bluff.

So now you're bringing the boy

not because you like said boy,

but because you're stubborn

and you're probably hoping
you'll make Liam jealous.

- That's not what I'm doing.
- Ah-ti-ta-hat.

The bitch doth protest.

No worries. I'm good.

Oh, we all know you prefer coffee.

I thought you wanted to vanquish him.

Oh, I vanquished him...
several times last night.

This one.

You have to wear this one.

It's the most beautiful
dress I've ever seen.

Right. That one's yours.

Now help me find one.

The Royals 01x04
- Unmask Her Beauty to the Moon

Shok, careful with that thing.

It's all fun and games until someone
gets shot with a Maruvian arrow.

Dude, relax. No-one's
getting shot with any arrow.

Look, I get it. You're... stressed.

Are you at least excited about the ball?

Well, you know what you
should be excited about?

Monaco.

Thanks to yours truly, we
are spending the weekend

at the sickest nine-bedroom
villa on the Cote d'Azur.

Everyone is going to be there.

The guys, the girls. I mean...

- You have to come.
- We'll see.

Just say yes. Just three little letters.

- Y-E-S.
- Fine.

Sweet.

Low-ten.

- Low-ten?
- Mm.

What is this, 1974?

You watch. I'm bringing it back.

Just needed a day at the spa, Your Majesty?

Sometimes a girl just needs
to be pampered, Lucius.

You two. Heel.

This is a spa, not a minefield.

Lucius will be beside me the whole time.

Walk away.

Treat yourself to something
extra-special today, Lucius.

You deserve it.

I do so enjoy our little
trips to the spa, Your Majesty.

I hope I didn't keep you waiting.

I think you know, Helly...

I'd wait a lifetime for you.

Oh, hey. You're becoming
quite the little king.

Here. You probably need
this more than I do.

And who knew the Princess had such
a loving touch with the elderly?

Uh, okay, I was high off my ass.

Those photos were taken out of context.

Well, they weren't the only ones.

I saw the photo of you and Gemma.

The Queen seems intent on
meddling in my love life.

That's why I don't have one.

She's been out of control ever
since Dad threatened to abolish us.

Trust me, we need this in
order to survive Mother tonight.

Especially with Dad away.

I wonder what she'll do to top
last year's grand entrance...

when she rode in on a unicorn.

That poor bloody horse.

Tonight shouldn't be all bad.

If memory serves, you've always enjoyed

ruining relationships and breaking hearts.

Uh, which reminds me,

why did you tell Ophelia to bring a date?

- What is wrong with you?
- Well, she rejected me.

- Ohh...
- I was just trying to be nice.

Okay, if that's your story.

I've got to meet Ashok. I'll see you there.

See you there.

So... it occurs to me

that seeing as the Princess isn't
leaving the palace his evening,

there's no need for me to be on duty.

You're my bodyguard.

You need to be where I say you need to be.

And, besides, I wanted
to see you in a tuxedo.

Really working the "Jasper
from Vegas" story, aren't we?

Still not buying it.

Hadn't we better get going, Your Highness?

Oh, yes.

We wouldn't want to miss
Mother's grand entrance.

Ophelia looks hot.

Who's that guy?

That's her date.

Are we okay with that?

We are so okay with that.

Aren't we, Darling?

You look um...

That d-d-d-dress
is... is...

No, not just the dress but things that...

you and the dress are doing together.

Apparently I'm speechless.

You look beautiful.

Really beautiful.

Considering how we left things,

I feel like I should
probably explain myself.

No need. Maybe you're
using me, maybe you're not.

But either way I get tonight with you.

And eventually I'll wear you down.

It's a long con.

Is that a bandana you're wearing?

Ashok, really, you are so lazy.

It's a foulard, not a bandana.

And also... my eyes are my best feature.

The Queen who would be King.

Subtle.

Well, at least she didn't glue
a horn onto a horse this year.

I need a drink. You?

- Absolutely.
- Okay.

Are we all set for tonight?

The Hereditary Peers
are arriving as we speak.

While we can hope for the best,
we must prepare for the worst.

Indeed. Just because Liam hasn't stepped
in it already, doesn't mean he won't.

The King may have backed
off with his threat

but if the worst is to pass,

we'll need the House of Lords on our side.

Then you'd better remind
them what they stand to lose.

Not to worry.

Our influence will be duly felt.

The Queen will be indisposed
for most of the evening.

Understood, Your Majesty.

- Mr. Holloway.
- Your Highness.

I know how you love a good ball.

You look stunning.

Won't the people miss their Queen?

A grand entrance to kick things
off, then a big finish at the end.

That's all they care about. Tops and tails.

Besides, I don't want to
be their Queen tonight.

I just want to be yours.

Come.

I forget how beautiful it is.

Between the tours and events,

we never really get a chance to enjoy it.

Hm.

Robert always loved it here.

How are you, my love?

I've been worried.

I'm fine.

I have to be.

And how about Simon's threat?

When we spoke after the funeral,

you said he was considering
abolishing the Monarchy.

You know the rules. We don't
talk about those things.

Hm.

Well, in that case, what is
it the Queen would like to do?

Well, I can't speak for the Queen.

But as for me...

Can we just walk for a while?

Whatever my girl wants.

Don't look now, but David
Beckham just smiled at you.

- Seriously?
- Total David Beckham smile.

Madness.

Yeah, it really is.

Luckily for you, I'm an expert wallflower.

First few dances I went to,

I was absolutely terrified
of embarrassing myself.

Believe me, I can relate. What changed?

The right song came on and
I just... had to dance to it.

Made me realize two things.

One, the power of a good song.

And, two...

sometimes you've just gotta jump in.

Even when your head is
telling you otherwise.

Okay, there's no way you can be
this stable, self-aware, nice.

You forgot to mention handsome...

and an excellent dancer.

Come on. Let's go.

Looks like they're having fun.

Yeah. I guess.

Let's have another drink.

Shok, what's that shot
you were telling us about?

The Flaming Lamborghini.

What in God's dear name
is the Flaming Lamborghini?

I thought you'd never ask.

Dance with me.

I thought I was supposed to be working.

You are. And right now I need
you to work on protecting me

from the Grand Duke of
Norway's wandering hands.

I really do worry about your
ability to protect my body, Jasper.

Awkward transition into a slow jam.

I say we roll with it.

- Mm.
- I thought a picnic was in order.

Like our first date in the hayloft.

Well, we couldn't have
let my father catch us.

God forbid he'd find out his
daughter was dating the help.

Ha.

Oh, daisies.

I always think of you when I see them.

I couldn't afford a proper bouquet.

No.

But then you'd braid them into
such lovely little crowns for me.

You were my Queen long
before you were theirs.

Come with me, bodyguard.

Ophelia.

Roll with it?

Can't argue with that.

You must be Nick. Good to meet you.

Yeah, you too.

Uh... Your Royal Highness.

Just call me Liam. Come
on, let's get you a drink.

The new boyfriend is hot. What's his story?

Nick? He's a musician.

Rock stars are amazing in bed.

Good for you.

We drink the good stuff in here.

You're welcome.

- Shots or beer?
- Both?

Cheers.

Cool.

I'm thinking maybe no
shots for you, mayonnaise.

I think Gemma drugged my
champagne. I'll be back.

Sounds like she got in a little
over her head at the Garden Party.

Said you took good care of her.

Just being a good friend. Cheers.

Pull my hair. Come on,
you know how I like it.

I want you inside me,
right here, right now.

That's not what this is.

What?

You don't control this. I do.

What the hell was that?

The tunnel and the tuxedo and the
dancing. That's not what this is.

You wanted me to be your little sex slave.

You're blackmailing me.
That is what this is.

- Is it?
- Of course it is.

Well, if that's what this
is, then go ahead and end it.

Go into that room and tell
everybody how I'm blackmailing you.

If that's what this really
is, then end it. Tell them all.

Go on. Do it.

Fine.

I will.

I have something important to say.

Something that will change everything.

Those shoes with that dress?

Really, bitch?

Gentlemen, for years the
aristocracy ran this country.

And, if I may be so bold, for the better.

Hear, hear.

But there are rumors of a
referendum to abolish the Monarchy.

If and when such a bill is passed,

we must band together to
save this country from itself.

I'm relying on the House of Lords
to delay a referendum at all costs.

I'm sure I don't need to remind you

that our lifestyle is a
lifestyle worth preserving.

Because if the Monarchy goes down,

we all go down with it.

Luckily for you, tonight the only
thing going down are your servers.

After four hours, seek medical attention.

Most of these men are happy
enough with a common whore,

but as for me, I prefer my whores to be...

uncommon.

Go to my room and wait for me.

And, remember, enthusiasm counts.

Phantogram's new album is awesome.

If you like that, you should
go back and listen to their EP.

It's way underrated.

I do hate to interrupt,

but I love this song and I
could really use a warm body.

Nick, would you mind terribly?

Is this where you ask me to dance

and then the jocks lock
me in the trunk of a car?

Dance floor, McFly. Now.

Gemma.

You're up to something. What?

I'm just doing you a favor.

You obviously want to dance with
Ophelia. I'm giving you the chance.

The sooner you realize that
she's really nothing special,

the sooner you come back to me.

Where's Nick?

He's dancing with Gemma.

Dance with me?

Nick seems like a nice guy.

Yeah, he really is.

Kid knows his music.

We actually like a lot of the same bands.

That's... great.

And he's funny, too. I can see why...

The least you could do is not like him.

Ophelia, he's your boyfriend.
I'm trying to be nice.

Well, I wish you'd stop being so nice.

For the record, he's not my boyfriend.

Oh, my bad. I meant that guy
you made out with on Instagram.

Considering that photo of you and
Gemma grinding on the plane tour...

It wasn't like that.

I never made out with Nick.
I didn't even kiss him.

- Okay, fine.
- Fine.

- Good.
- Great.

- Thanks for the dance.
- Sure.

- Ophelia, your earrings are amazing.
- Thank you.

You two are so good together.

The perfect storm.

The day my father came back from the bank.

The day he realized we were
going to lose everything.

First Black Monday, then the BSE
crisis, then the interest rates.

That's what he called it.

The perfect storm.

I was just wondering what my life

would have been like if
not for those three words.

What our life might have been like...

had my mother not pushed
me into marrying Simon.

"What if?" has a way of
finding us, doesn't it?

I had a dream about Henry last night.

He visited me like a tragic ghost.

You were in a war.

You saved countless lives.

Henry's death wasn't your fault.

He had no family and no-one else but me.

I couldn't save him.

I look at the medals and commendations

and I wish that I could
go back for one day...

do everything differently.

They gave you those medals
because you were a hero.

Not to him I wasn't. Not that day.

Anyway, the point is, the past is the past.

We don't get to go back.

All we have left is today.

I know you don't want to
discuss it, but you should know

if there is a referendum
to abolish the Monarchy...

I know which way I'll vote.

Tonight could be every night.

What's wrong with you?

The Sultan of Bhondai
just cock-blocked us.

What?

The villa in Monaco is out.

We got bumped.

Are we okay with that?

- We don't have a choice.
- Of course we do.

You know what trumps the Sultan of Bhondai?

The future King of England.

Your Highness.

My Lord, I take it
you're enjoying yourself?

Indeed, Your Highness. And
while tonight has been...

lovely...

I do so hate looking a
gift horse in the mouth.

Oh, stop being so bloody
English and spit it out.

Very well, sir.

Public sentiment towards the
Monarchy is at an all-time low.

If a vote on a referendum is brought
to the floor, it will not only pass,

I believe it will do
so with a huge majority.

And if the House of Lords
does try to delay such a bill,

there will be rioting in the
streets. They will have our heads.

Which is why I've taken steps to
ensure that if such a bill passes,

it won't be with a sweeping majority.

Forgive me, Your Highness, but
how on earth can you ensure that?

I believe you know James Holloway.

I do indeed.

Well, rest assured, Mr. Holloway
is very much in bed with us.

The Duke of York and James Holloway?

Strange bedfellows.

Needless to say, you do
your duty, we'll do ours.

You can count on us, Your Highness.

I knew you'd come to see things my way.

People always do.

I just got off the phone with Albert.

- He's making a call.
- Albert? As in...

As in "the sovereign
Prince of Monaco" Albert?

We have history there. He's hooking us up.

You're so the man right now.

Come on.

Shok, it's not coming
back. Let it go, mate.

Hey...

Mm, hey.

We're going to the villa
in Monaco this weekend.

I figured we could both use a break
from this place. Wheels up at dawn.

A break sounds good.

What was that earlier? You okay?

Hm?

Mm, it's nothing. I'm fine.

I've tried to be patient.

I've tried to give you space.

Now dance with me before I look desperate.

So how was it, your dance with Ophelia?

Maybe you don't think she's special,

but I do.

OK, let's play this out.

Let's say that the two
of you end up together.

Your mother hates her. The
press will eat her alive.

They will make your life a living hell.

And then what will you be left with?

Happiness.

Don't be naive.

- May I cut in?
- Walk away.

Ashok.

I am so not okay with this.

- I...
- Don't say it.

- I have to go.
- No. I refuse to allow it.

We haven't danced yet.

I suppose I can't argue with that.

Dance with me.

- Why would I want to...?
- Just shut up and dance with me.

Let's be honest. This
isn't about the video.

Hasn't been about the
video for a while now.

Which is probably good
because there is no video.

What do you mean, there's no video?

You got black-out drunk and
threatened to fire me, so I lied...

about all of it.

You son of a bitch.

I don't need a video, though, do I?

'Cause you like this.

You like being controlled. You like me.

So I'll do whatever I want
to you, whenever I want.

And you'll let me.

Because you want it. You need it.

So, Princess, video or not, I own you.

Now, go to your room...

strip off that overpriced dress...

get into bed and wait for me.

Say yes.

Yes.

You were right. Liam's a nice guy.

Seriously?

Can the two of you just stop with that?

Can everyone stop liking each other?

Maybe you two should date.

Fairy tales are such bullshit.

I'm sorry?

It's just, I get it. It's
a ball at the Royal Palace.

No big deal, but then you put
the dress on and you get here

and there are all these expectations.

Before you know it, you've become

the kind of girl you
thought you'd never be,

and you're thinking, "Why can't
a guy just fight for a girl?"

Is it too much to ask? Is it crazy
to think her prince might actu...

There it is.

Nick...

I hope the fairy-tale works out for you.

I really do.

I should've said this earlier.

You look absolutely radiant tonight.

Thank you.

We're going to Monaco for the weekend.

I want you to come with me.

I'm not inviting Nick.

He's a nice guy and I like him,
but he came with the wrong girl.

I know you think you
don't belong in my world...

but I don't like my
world without you in it.

I'll wait for you.

Would every night truly be like this?

It would.

It will.

Your Majesty.

You should go.

I hope you don't mind.

I needed a drink.

Thought you might like one, too.

How very thoughtful of you.

Did you know that among Henry
the VII's vast Royal Court,

he had an entire team of Royal Tasters?

Many people believed him to be paranoid,

narcissistic, mad even.

But, as it turns out, his
paranoia proved useful.

Because during the course of his reign,

23 of those Royal Tasters died...

thanks to poison meant for him.

Luckily for me, they
invented security cameras.

Attempting to kill the Duke of York?

Why, that's treason.

You'll be sent to jail
for the rest of your life.

Of course, I might
overlook this indiscretion

if you'd see it in your
heart to do me a favor.

The King likes you. The King trusts you.

And you have the ability
to move about unnoticed.

He goes on walks sometimes.

I want you to follow him.

Find out where he goes.

You're a smart girl.

It's a much better option than prison.

I knew you'd come around.

Where do you think you're going?

Don't worry,

I'll be slightly more gentle
than they would be in prison.

Lenny said you be handsome

Alright, let's go.

- Wait !
- Stop !