The Real Housewives of Orange County (2006–2020): Season 15, Episode 6 - The Vow Renewal - full transcript

- Previously on "The Real
Housewives of Orange County":

- I understand
you're renewing your vows.

- I wanted to have this moment.

I never got to have it.

- So are you dating?

- No, no. I'm with Jimmy.

- She's got a boyfriend but
she doesn't have sex with him.

What?

- In California, they wanna
know how the victim feels.

- It's hard to stand up to him.

- I would never, ever
call anyone's home sad.



- Either you're lying to me
or you don't remember

'cause you've said it.

- About the vow renewal,
Shannon's supposed to be there

with John and all six
of their kids, and I want that.

- You're wasted all the time!
Goodbye!

- I'm 30 days sober today,
bitch.

I'm sorry.

- I would like
to just start over.

- I would love that.

- Don't judge me by what I do.

In fact, just don't
judge me at all.

- Cheers to bad choices...

then making better ones.

- Those who live in small houses



should definitely throw stones.

- Life is full
of beautiful curves...

New hip!

And so am I.

- I earned my money
the old fashion way...

Marrying it then making more.

- I've closed the old Beador

and opened a new one.

- Thank you for my flowers
and my necklace.

It's beautiful. - You like 'em?

More where that came from.
- Oh, good.

Keep it coming. - Yeah.

- Are you excited to move?

- I am.

- But right now, something
is keeping you in New York.

- His job.
- Yeah.

- I know when Rick
is delivering the news,

when he's looking
at that camera,

he's really looking at me.

- I want to do stuff for you.

- I want to build things for
you and arrange things...

hang stuff for you on the walls.

- I want to make you happy and
comfortable

and take care of you.

- Rick has taught me what real
love is about.

- Somebody who's committed,
somebody who has your back

- Is a ride or die.

- I love you.

- I love you more.

- My baby.

- It's not only up here that I
like about Rick...

- It's about down there.

- I'm lucky to have you.

- Damn straight.

- I know it.

- President Trump addressed the
nation

on the effort
against the coronavirus

and insisted an outbreak
in the US

is not inevitable.

But this morning, there is
a new case in California

that's raising concerns.

- Is she gonna make us
walk up this hill?

- Oh, I walk up this hill,
like, five times...

- Oh, my God.
- Every time I work out.

- I don't wanna do this at all.
- It's brutal.

- Good morning.
- Hello!

- This is Gina, my friend.
This is Paulina.

- I'm just, like, really...
I was... used to be really fit.

- Exhale going up. Good job.

- And I'm just, like,
really out of shape so... yeah.

- You've come
to the right place.

- Being in this
healthy relationship,

I feel more comfortable
in my own skin.

And I'm just kind of like

more like you, you know?

I don't care.

I'm gonna eat
that... ing cookie.

- First thing
I'm gonna have you do

is we're gonna start
with the warmup.

Arms up, elbows by your ears.

That's to make it burn more.

- It's already burning.
My ass is on fire.

- That's what I like to hear.

- Me ass is in fuego!

I already feel like
I popped a glute.

- 14, 13, perfect.

- 98, 99...

I'm dying and I haven't even
reached the hard part yet.

- What's the hard part?

- My body doesn't
understand though.

- Abs of steel. Go, go.

Three, two...

- And one, you guys.
- Whoo!

- It really has.
- It changed everybody's life.

- Go get some water.
Rest, ladies.

- Let's sit down
and take a water break.

- Thank God I have
this jacket on.

It's squishing all my fat rolls.

So you had a birthday dinner
for Sienna, right?

- So last night,
we had a birthday dinner.

- How'd that go?

- I'm just like really proud
of my family right now.

- Hi.
- What?

Hi. How are you?

- Hi.
- Hi.

How are you? - Good.

- Good to see ya.

- So his trial's coming up
for the DV.

Or is it a closed meeting?
Is it closed?

- I don't know.

These are questions that
I'm glad you're my friend

'cause I'll ask them. - Okay.

- I just wanted him to accept
responsibility for it.

I don't wanna
impact his life forever

if he's working on himself,

he's going to anger management,
he's doing well.

- On one hand, I understand

that Gina probably
doesn't want him

to have a felony on his record.

But on the other hand,

I think Matt
is a classic narcissist

who uses guilt
to make Gina feel badly

about everything she does.

Are you testifying?

- It's such a weird position
to be in

because it's like,
what happened there...

- You're saying
you're afraid to do it

'cause you don't want
to upset him.

- I don't wanna mess
with what's going on now.

- Or make him mad and upset.
- Yeah.

- You know what though?
I feel like you should do it.

Because that's your chance

to say how it affected you.

- Will you go with me?
- Of course I will.

Absolutely.

Uh, is our water break over?

Your water break is over.

- Lay on your backs.
It's time for abs.

- Oh, okay.

- Chin up towards the sky.

- Oh, my God. Those hurt so bad.

- I'm like good 'cause I've been

putting in some work
in the bedroom.

- Okay, Kelly.

- Just give me a second.

I'm like the worst...
I am so bad at parking.

- There's my bougie bitch.

- You can't be bougie
in a minivan.

- How are you? Give me a hug.

- Hey, babe.
- Good to see you.

- You too.

- Garage will shut
automatically.

Bye, honey!

Oh, he's gonna miss me.

- I'll get on your right.

- Thank you for doing this
with me today.

I appreciate being asked out
in public.

- So yeah.

The party was a little
bit different, you know?

- Honestly, I probably shouldn't

have even gone to that party.

I was already in just such
a not good headspace.

I wasn't ready to say the words
"I'm an alcoholic...

- Right.
- 'Cause you say those words,

you can't come back.

- Just so you know, Braunwyn,

my dad was an alcoholic as well.

- I know you've dealt
with your sister too.

- Correct.

Seeing Braunwyn
at that party go crazy

reminded me of my sister.

She's a 40-year-old drug addict.

Everyone's like, "Oh, Elizabeth.

"You have all this money.

Why don't you help your sister?"

Let's go right here. - Yeah.

- I can't help my sister,
but I can help Braunwyn.

Even if
it's in the littlest way.

And I'm gonna try.

You know, they kept wanting
to party the rest of the night.

And I cheers'd after you left
with them and I should've have.

Here's to putting drama aside

and enjoying ourselves.
- Cheers!

- That was really wrong of me.

I wanna own up to that
and I apologize.

- I am realizing very quickly

who my friends are

and who are people that aren't.

And I thought Shannon
and I were friends,

and now I know we're not.

We have two very different
stories of what happened.

- I only have what I heard.

And...

- But you didn't hear it
correctly, Braunwyn,

because I didn't say it.

- I've never held my ground

against any of these women ever.

And now I'm just... I can't.

Walking into Shannon's party,

there was a lot
of tequila there.

- Are you tequila...
- Oh.

- Are you a tequila drinker
at all?

Or no. But we have everything.

- Yeah, a little bit. Yeah.

A good friend

would have called you
and given you a heads up.

I honestly think her doing that

was a big eff you, Braunwyn.

Oh, you know what?
You're gonna call me a liar?

Well, look what
I'm gonna do for you.

Try to stay sober now.

I had been putting myself first

for the first time
in a long time.

- Doesn't it feel good?

- It doesn't all the time.
- Oh.

- Sometimes it feels
really... ing bad.

Right. - Hm, self-reflection.

- No, for real.
- No, no.

- For real.
- But I mean that...

- It's like a mirror
to your face.

- When my ex...
When I was with him,

all it was was yes people.

So I need some people

to give me the reality
of the bullsh...

- And you know what?

And you do have a lot
of yes people in your life,

so you want real people.

- And then like,
all my girlfriends,

I took them on trips.

Flew them on a private jet
to Nantucket.

Got 'em on my yacht.

They were naked,
and they were having fun,

and we drink champagne,

and we'd go through
the Panama Canal.

I mean, I paid for all of it.

And the minute
I didn't have all of that...

- They were gone.

- They were... ing gone.

- Yeah, they weren't
your friends.

- I was shocked.
- I'm here.

Like, that's what I do.
I do real.

- I learned pretty early on
that most of your friends

are fake when you get
a lot of money.

But I don't look at money

as if that should define me.

Because for years,
that's how I did look at it

with my ex-husband.

Has your mom been in this
at all with you or no?

- She's known I struggled
with drinking.

But we literally haven't talked.

It's been a while
since I've seen my mom

because I don't feel
like I can trust her.

She found my weak spot
that would hurt me the most

and boom.

I cannot believe my mom
called Tamra

and told her that
I quit drinking.

I physically felt like
I was punched so hard,

I couldn't breathe.

And it was just
right back in my face.

"I can't trust you."

- What kind of mother does that?

- Mine.
- Oh, my God.

That is really...
I'm sorry, but I'm a mother.

- But I guess...

- I love our mothers, but that
is really inappropriate.

Is she coming
to your vow renewal?

- Yeah. My mom will be there.

My stepdad, my brother,
my sister,

my grandma, my grandpa.

I'm going up the day before.

We're gonna go
to my mom's house.

So we did this
for our ten-year anniversary.

And so on our ten year, we said

let's do it every ten years.
- Okay.

I have a feeling it's gonna be
a good moment for you.

- I haven't...
- Almost a new beginning.

- Like, I just want
a nice, pleasant day.

Is that too much to ask really?

- Coming up...

- Amazon is sold out

of hand sanitizer and wipes.

- Because you bought it all.

- You look pretty.
- Parents' night out.

Aww, thank you.

You're so nice.

- I can be nice.
- Yeah.

- Hi.
- Hi.

We're here.
We're meeting friends.

- Okay, perfect.
- Yeah.

- For Elizabeth?
- Elizabeth, yeah.

- Right this way.
- Thank you.

Hi! - Oh, hi, Gina.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- How are you? Good to see ya.

- How are you? Good to see you.

- Hi!
- Hi!

Oh, your hair. - Hi!

- Hello! What's up?

- Good to see ya.

- Good to see you.

- It just feels nice
to be able to bring somebody

to a double... triple...
Whatever date.

- Why don't the three of us

go out to dinner
but bring the guys?

- I would love that.

I have a date.
And that feels good.

- Did you order cocktails?

- Get this woman a cocktail!

- Get her a shot.
- Get her a shot!

- Can I have
a Casamigos Anejo soda

with a little lime juice?

- I want the same thing
but a splash of grapefruit.

- Yeah.

- Just a Ketel dirty martini.

- Hummus?
- I love hummus.

- Can we get a hummus?
- And the hummus?

- Yes.
- You got it.

- And a poke.
- You got it.

- Wait.

Do you know what I did today?

- What happened?
- What?

- I stockpiled.
- What does that mean?

- For coronavirus.

I'm so tired, wanted
to go home and take a nap.

But we had to go, like...

clean out Trader Joe's.
- Trader Joe's.

I have four freezer drawers,

and now two of them are full
with all frozen meats.

- Oh, God.
- And then I thought,

"What if the electricity
goes out?"

I gotta get the canned meat.

I got canned chicken,
canned beans.

- We got all the colors
of canned beans.

- I got a bunch of canned goods.

- We got so much water.
- Why?

- Shannon really reminds me
of that type of person

that has a secret bomb shelter.

I am actually surprised
that she hasn't had

a secret underground bunker
this whole time.

- You guys buy a generator?
- No.

We didn't go that far.

- Not yet.

- Amazon is sold out

of hand sanitizer and wipes.

- Because you bought it all.
- No, I didn't buy any!

- Cheers, you guys.
- Okay, cheers.

- Hey, nice to hang out.
- Cheers. Good to be with you.

- To new friends, old friends.
- To new friends!

- And to no coronavirus.
- Whoo!

- No coronavirus.
- No corona.

No virus. No nothing.

- So Gina went to an AA meeting
with Braunwyn.

- I did.
- What happened?

We all got quiet, like...

I... I... I...

- That just changed the mood.

- I feel... I knew.
I know and I'm sorry.

I feel really bad for her.

Like, my whole perspective
of her

has been completely changed.

- Did she share?
- She did share.

And she shared a lot
about her personal anger

and, you know,
she was not proud of the fact

that she had
misappropriated her anger,

and that, like, it was easier
for her to be angry

at someone else than to accept
and be angry at herself

for, like, having
this disease essentially.

And she was clearly taking it
out on me and Shannon.

And... - Yeah.

- She admits that.

She was really vulnerable.
I'm telling you.

Like, and that's scary.
- Acceptance is very difficult.

- Vulnerable in front of me?
- Yeah.

- I'm ready to rip her head off.

- That's big.
- It was big.

- I had a little moment
with her.

We rode bikes.

She did open up
as far as being sober.

So I'm glad that, you know,

she had that breakthrough
with you where...

- Yeah, I think it's just like,

how can you be angry at somebody

who straight up,
like, acknowledges

that she was totally...

- Braunwyn didn't straight up
acknowledge anything

to me in my phone call.

- She didn't?
- Nope.

- And she's adamant
about her position

on the words that
I know I didn't say.

So I feel as though I've been
a good friend to her,

so it's just hurtful to me.

But I'll get over it.

- No. Don't just get over it.

But give her a little time.

- I know. I... I'll get over it.

- Sean is very supportive
of her,

which is awesome.

But he also has to be supportive

as far as not being enabling.
- I know.

- Did you see the party
when she went up,

"Sean, she said this!"
And I was like...

- Did I see the party?
He yelled in my face.

- Gina, that was rude
and inappropriate.

- Sean.
- Thank you.

- No. No, no, no.
- You can have a discussion

before you yell.

- He's put in terrible,
compromising positions

'cause he's supporting her.

And she's doing it to him!
- But he's not supporting her.

He's enabling her.

- No, he's enabling her.
That's what I'm saying.

We can't be mad at him because
he's like trying his hardest.

- He doesn't know
what he's doing.

He has seven... ing kids.

It's gonna take them a lot
as a family

to come together and fix that.

And, like, I'm not going
to make that worse.

Screw that.

- Completely big of you,
by the way.

- It's good to hear
that Braunwyn,

who was gunning for Gina,
stopped.

But if being sober

means that you concoct
stories in your head, like,

things aren't getting better

on the Shannon Storms
Beador side.

Are you guys both going
to the desert?

Yes.

- I'm gonna go
to the vow renewal.

- So you are gonna go! Good.
- I'm gonna go. Yeah.

- Are you gonna go?
- No, I'm not gonna be there.

- Why?
- He has his kids.

- I have my kids.

- I won't go
if Travis doesn't go.

- Wait, you're going.

- No, I'm not if Travis isn't.
- You're going.

- I have a partner meeting so
I'm gonna drive separately.

- Get with him.
- I'm gonna drive separate.

- She said her trigger
is tequila,

so she's not gonna
have tequila there.

- Oh, really? Okay.

But we're all going
and we're all making the effort

and I think it's important
for her sobriety

that we all are there for her...

- Yeah, to support her.
- So I think it'll be good.

I mean, we may have
a little sippy cup

with some alcohol, but...

I am going to be drinking
at the vow renewal.

If I'm on vacation
and away from home,

I wanna enjoy myself.

Am I gonna do it
right in front of her?

No.

- Would you guys like
another round of drinks?

- Yeah.

Oh, why am I only
having the next round?

What's going on with you?

But I think that
Gina and Elizabeth

may be taking it too far.

Get going, get going, get going.

- Okay, okay.
- Get going!

- You are the worst one.

- Are you gonna be
Braunwyn's sponsor, 'cause...

I'm sorry.

- Coming up...

- Now that I'm not drinking,

no one wants
to hang out with me.

- You're not nearly as fun.

- What's going on?

- The new desks,
all the new furniture

for the new front office
is gonna come over here.

What else do you want in here?

- A TV.

- TV? Okay.

- 'Cause Rick's always like,
"Watch me. I'm on."

Since investing a $1/4 million

into Positive Beverage,

it has grown from
the little startup company

to now getting into Target.

So to all my haters

that didn't think
I could be a success...

- Kelly, you are not
a businesswoman!

- I am!

- Nobody is going to you
for business advice!

- Look at me now.

Whoo!

Wait. Tell me about Expo West

and how what?
We just lost $100,000.

- Yeah, our whole booth
is loaded in.

It's completely built.
We're all ready.

And then literally last night,

they made the call
that they're not doing it.

- 'Cause it's coronavirus?
- Yeah.

- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.

- So are we gonna get
our money back?

Are we gonna get...
- No, of course not.

- Last year,
we got a lot of business

doing Expo West.

- Give me your pitch!

- It's vegan. It's non-dairy.

And it gives you calcium boost.

That's what sets us apart.
- Yes! Good.

What's the glasses for?

- Future's so bright,
we have to wear shades.

We spent a lot of money

on our space, refrigerators,

and it's just poof, gone.

Shannon Beador, she's gonna do

some kind of water.

And I'm like, "Oh, God."
- Are you seri...

- What a joke.

You don't even know
what it entails.

- It's so much more work

than anybody
could possibly comprehend.

- Good luck.

I'm not quite sure what
Shannon's water line is.

All I know is
that she was telling me

she was doing some
kind of beverage.

- It's like, based off
the lemon cleanse.

It's called Lemon-Aid.

It has lemon, cayenne.

- Anti-inflammatories?
- Yeah.

So it's coming soon.

- I have a drink.
Now she's got a drink.

She can compete with me
all she wants.

There's no competition.

- Dude, this is so good.
- Isn't it?

- It does like lemonade.
- But it's prickly pear.

So it's got a little bit
of like that kick to it.

- What's prickly pear?
- It's a fruit.

- It is?
- Yeah.

- I know that a pear is a fruit
but what makes it prickly?

- Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

That's what it is.

- Those purple red things
that grows on the cactuses?

- Yeah.
- That's a prickly pear.

- Oh.

That's funny. - There you go.

- Whoa!

Hey. -

- My goddess.
- Hi.

- Hi, baby. Oh...

- Hello.

- Hey, you.
- Hey.

- Big Marley.

- The things with my mom
are old and they're deep.

But whatever issues
I have with my mother,

they're between me and her.

And that's my kids' grandmother.

I don't want tomorrow
to be weird.

We need to get this first
interaction out of the way.

- You guys wanna see the garden?

- Yeah, I really do.
- Yeah, I do. Sure.

- I have only been here once

for like two minutes
to pick the boys up.

- I'ma take you up
to the Zen deck.

- Oh, yeah.

- We're still working on it,
you know?

It's a work in progress...

- Yeah.
- Like all of us.

- My mom, Brian,
and Marley and Mikayla,

they bought that piece
of property

up in the hills
with the beautiful views

a decade ago.

Brian graduated from doing
his years of residency.

He got an amazing job,

and they've been building
their dream home.

Is that where you put the papers

where you let go of stuff?

- Yes, yes.
- Like... yes, okay.

- It's a good thing to do.

Letting go.

- This is a beautiful home.

But this isn't my home.

This isn't where I grew up.
This isn't my place.

The Ritz Carlton
is right down the street,

and they always
have availability.

- Those are called
the Shadow Mountains.

- It's beautiful.
- You look clear.

- Thanks... what?
- Can I touch your hair?

- Yeah.
- Thanks.

- I know.

That's funny. - Some of it.

- I pay for really good hair.

- Look at him.

- He brought out a serving tray.

Thanks, Marley.

- Thank you.
- Thanks, Marley.

- How's Kelly?
- Good.

- And Shannon lives
close to you.

- Shannon, I could throw a ball
and hit her house.

- Which we're not talking
really right now,

so that's super uncomfortable.

- But, uh, Gina's coming.
- Mm-hmm.

You know, I've met her
but I don't know.

She just always... I don't know...

She's not interested in me.

- Mm-hmm.

- I think now
that I'm not drinking,

just no one wants to hang out
with me except for Gina.

I mean it sucks. It sucks.

- But you're not nearly as fun.

I'm saying that's what
they maybe were thinking.

- Yeah.

Mm.

I don't think my mom
could say a worse thing to me.

I mean, I've been called
Boring-Wyn

for an entire year now.

- She has a nickname for you.
- Waters.

- Boring-Wyn.
- Maybe Braunwyn is boring.

Boring wine.
- I don't drink wine.

I don't even drink wine.

- You whine like...

- Ugh.

- Put that... put that coat on.

- It's okay. I'm good in this.

- Are you sure?

'Cause it's super cute
and super warm.

- My mom has been
using my addiction

as a weapon for so long.

"Look at Braunwyn.

"She doesn't know
what she's talking about.

"She's drunk.

Look at Braunwyn.
She is broken."

- You guys are so cute.

20 years ago.

Oh, God. - We love that.

- He was really cute.

- If she were to look
at me right now

and say, "You know what?

I'm really proud
of what you're doing,"

that would just...

I'm gonna go eat now.
- That's a good call.

- Here's to good choices.
- Here's to good choices.

- Oh. Did you change the sign...

- No.
- In your downstairs room?

- We kept it down 'cause no.

'Cause that room
is for bad choices.

- Coming up...

- Braunwyn's not having
tequila at this party.

- I'm a diabetic.

I'm not gonna have any
freaking cake at my party.

Can we just go
to the liquor store?

I'll have it in a flask.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- How are you? Come on, Archie.

- Oh, my God, this rain.

- Did Rick go to New York?
- Yep.

- Is he freaking out
about the corona thing?

- No.
- No?

- But everybody else is.
- I know.

I'm starting to a little bit.

Like, I'm not gonna
freaking be a statistic

for corona... ing virus.

Ugh. - Hi, hi.

- Hi!

- What's going on?
- What about the weather?

- Not much.
- What about the weather?

- It sucks.
- Yeah.

- Hi.
- Oops.

- It's raining.

- Is she getting married
outside?

Not anymore.

I don't know. - I mean, was she?

- I don't know really.
- They already said "I do."

So what do you say, "I did?"

- I think every time
you have a threesome,

you have to renew your vows.

- Oh, my God.

- You had a threesome?

- Yeah, all the time with me.

- Yeah, with Kelly.
- I'm just kidding.

- Yeah.
Kelly punched me in the face.

That was a threesome.

- I said, "Stay there!"
- Then went out.

- "Stay down!"

- Hi, Archie.

- Hola.
- Hi.

- Okay, ladies.
Let's rock and roll.

Bye-bye, Archie.

You be a good boy!

Ooh! Then we got the fancy van.

- I am gonna get super car sick.

- I have to sit in the front.
I throw up.

- Yeah. She throws up.

- As much as I enjoy being

in the company
of all these ladies,

what happened?
Why am I the only guy?

- You're the lucky one.
- You're the lucky one.

- I am lucky.

- Where's John Janssen?

- He's driving with the kids.
- That makes sense.

- You're trapped now.

- Are we almost there yet?

- Hi.
- Hi.

- It's his first time here.
- Yeah.

I haven't been here before.

- I've made many a bad choice
here with my girlfriends.

Thank you.
- Thank you very much.

- Thank you so much.
Enjoy your stay.

- Take care. Thank you.

- She says the car's
not there yet.

I'm gonna call them, Braunwyn.

We need our kids.

- Do you have to have
fake boobs to go in there?

- Well, I don't know.
- Yeah.

- She's funny today.

- Oh my gosh this is beautiful!
- Oh, wow.

- Happy anniversary.
- Mm.

- Whoo!

- I want a cocktail.
- Oh, wait.

I asked for some.

- Let's cheers
to Braunwyn's 20th anniversary.

I think the only one that's
been closest to that is you.

You beat us to the marriage.
- I was 17.

- Oh, was that what it was?
- Yeah, 17.

- Yeah.
- Oh, wait.

Shannon, have you met
David's fiancé?

- No, never.
- Still no?

- I don't know.

He just likes
to keep things quiet.

- Sneaky.
- He doesn't wanna talk to me.

He doesn't want me to meet her.

I just wish David
would return some of my texts.

All I wanna do
is be a good co-parent.

Now it's so awkward, you know?

Because it's like,
I can't keep going,

"Hi! How are you?"

I just don't get it.

If someone's living
with your kids 50% of the time,

and you haven't met them,
that's just weird.

I wouldn't be mean.

All I care about
is that David's fiancée

is kind to my kids.

- Doesn't he have Instagram?

- I don't look.

- You don't look?
- Nope.

- I know, 'cause she still has
me blocked on Instagram so...

- Emily checks nightly.
- Oh, my God.

- When is the last time
I even posted?

- I wouldn't know, Shannon.

Can you unblock me
so I can have a party?

- All right.

Let's make it official.

- I'm gonna comment all over
everything now on your feed.

- I pushed unblock.

- Whoo!

It only took three years,

a new hip, five shots.

There should be like,
confetti coming down.

Look at this. This is amazing.

- Knock knock.

- Hi! We're here.

- Come in.

Mwah. - I brought food. Sorry.

- Oh, no.
- Our room's not ready yet.

So we're gonna eat in her room.

- Perfect.
Shari is my best friend.

- Yes, boo.
This is way bigger than ours.

That's why we're trying
to get a new room.

About a month
before I got sober,

I had asked for help.

She was the one
making those calls

while my husband would say,
"No, Braunwyn's fine."

She knew I was an alcoholic.

She was like my guardian angel.

I was with my family last night.

I went to my mom's house.
- Are they all coming?

- Everyone but my grandfather

because he's
quarantined himself.

- Oh, that's right.
- Oh.

- Because he's
an urgent care doctor,

and he's like,
"I just can't be around people

and get coronavirus."

Like, it's gonna...
At this point,

I'm just doing
the "Serenity Prayer"...

Accept the things
I can't control.

The weather, the virus.

- And no booze.

You're just like,
rolling with it.

- Oops. Dang it.

I just sent my ex-husband
a heart emoji.

You did?

- How do you do that
by accident?

- Do you like double tap?
That way?

- How does that happen?
- Ha ha.

- You can undo that.

- I had a nine-hour
deposition yesterday.

I'm gonna try and be good
for Braunwyn

but I kinda feel like
having a drink.

After my deposition.

- I really just think Elizabeth

lives on another planet.

She can't talk about the divorce

but only talks
about the divorce.

- It is what it is.

- It's not a wedding.

- We have been married
for 20 years.

I actually vividly remember

standing up there with Sean
and thinking

how easy marriage was gonna be.

- Well, I feel like that's
what everyone thinks.

- So Braunwyn's not having
tequila here at this party.

- You lie.
- I swear to God.

- So Shannon, you know there's
no tequila at this party.

Just warning you.
So don't order a margarita.

- Why?
- That's her trigger.

- Okay. I'm a diabetic.

I'm not gonna have any
freaking cake at my party.

- Look at Kelly to just...

- Why should you
punish everybody

because you're the alcoholic?

- I'm sure in your room,
the minibar has tequila.

- Can we just go
to the liquor store?

I'll have it incognito.
I'll have it in a flask.

I am not a quitter.

- There's a liquor store here.

- They'll have it.
- Yeah, let's do that.

They'll have it. - Yeah.

- She's like, as sensitive
as a porcupine,

that Kelly Dodd.

She just...

she just don't got it in her.

- Okay.
Let's go get this tequila.

- No. We can't go empty-handed.

- All right.
Take your time, ladies.

- Coming up...

- Elizabeth was just telling me
that she wanted

to do artificial insemination...

- Yeah.
- To, like, have a kid.

- But then what's
she gonna do with Jimmy?

- Right!
- I'm gonna ask her.

- Momma!
- Momma.

- Hello.
- Hi.

I was just coming here
to meet the girls too.

Oh, no. Don't touch my hair.

- You look great.
- Thank you.

I have a team of people
making this happen.

- Well, it looks good.

- Tonight is so important to me.

I have friends flying in

from the other side
of the country.

But I need to show myself

that I can have fun, and I can
be okay without drinking.

- This is Julie's
favorite place.

- She likes it here?
- Yeah, always stay here.

- They have Hermès soaps
in here.

- Oh.
- Just to let you know.

- Okay, I'm like, clinking.
Thank you.

- Hi!

- Say hi.

Mwah.

- How are you?
- I'm so good.

- Hi, you.
- Hey!

- Hey, how are you?
You look pretty.

- Thank you.

I've been getting ready
for last couple hours.

And your boys are here.

- I know. I see that.

- I'm not very excited
to see Braunwyn.

- I missed you. So much.

- My last encounter
with Braunwyn

didn't end so well.

But I am respecting
Braunwyn's sobriety

by asking the bellman
to take my bottle of tequila

to the room.

- Hi!
- Hey!

- How are you? You look so cute.

I have some tequila here that
I'm not supposed to show you.

I didn't know
that was a trigger.

Sorry. - That's okay.

- I'm not Kelly Dodd
walking in saying,

"Nobody likes a quitter."

- All right, you guys
should go, like, relax,

eat dinner, take a break.

- Okay.
- All right.

- 'Cause I really
have missed you.

- I was like, looking.
I was like,

"Oh, maybe there's like
a meeting in the morning."

But I know you have all
the babies and it's crazy...

There is, at 7:00.

- I'll go with you
if you're gonna go.

- Okay. I'm gonna go.

- Okay. Then I'll go.

- This is Villa Bin.

After you. - Nice.

- Wow!
- Wow.

It's beautiful.

- Gorgeous.
- Super nice.

- "Welcome to The Parker.
Enjoy your stay."

- "Notice persons have
currently active diarrhea"

should not be allowed to enter.

- And who's monitoring this?

- I mean... yeah.
How do you let them know?

That you're leaking out
as you swim?

It's your mommy.

Hey, little rat.

I miss you, baby.

You look like Joe Dirt.

What's up, El Dirte?

You look pretty.

How's school?
- Mom, I have to go soon.

'Cause I have to study
for finals.

'Cause I have finals this week.

- All right.
- Mm-kay.

- I'm glad that your nose
hairs aren't hanging out.

- Mm-kay. Goodbye.

- I got off the bus,

and I saw Braunwyn.

And she's like, "I missed you."

And I was like, "Aww."

'Cause I kind of felt
the same way.

Like, we've come a long way.

- It's not about you, Braunwyn!

It's not about you!

- I know.

- That's great.
- Silver companion.

- Cheers, babe.
To our little stay-cation.

Wait. How do you do this?

- I don't know. Give me a kiss.

- You always ruin that.
- What?

- You don't know how to drink.
- Let's just try it.

- No. Let's try it.

- No?
- That's now how you do it.

Let's do that one over again.

- I can't open this.

Can you call the room service?

Ooh. So all the arthritis...

- But you're so...

- You're faking the arthritis.
- No, I'm not.

I just used, like, super-duper...

- Do that one and do that one.

- Oh, my God.

I'm gonna punch you
in your head.

- Hello.
- Let yourself in.

- Don't worry.
I brought my own meal.

- What does she have?

- Yeah, what'd you order?
Ice cream?

- I got a French onion soup
and a salad.

- Thank you so much.
- Thank you.

- I appreciate it. You too.

- Thank you.
- Um...

What did you think
of the bus ride?

- It got a little dark
when you said

there was gonna be
no tequila at the party.

- I know.

Like, Kelly just made
some insensitive comments.

- Have you met Kelly?
- I know!

But it's like, my God.

Like, this is a really big deal.

- Well, the difference
is you're making jokes

about someone that has
a real struggle or challenge.

- Yeah.

I'm actually surprised
at Elizabeth.

Is she drinking
or isn't she drinking?

She said she wasn't.
- I don't know.

Sometimes I can't figure out
what she's saying.

- I don't know.

- Elizabeth and I went
to the sauna the other day.

- Mm-hmm.
- And she was telling me

that she wanted
to get her eggs frozen

'cause she thought she might
wanna have a child.

- Right.

- But, I mean, she's with Jimmy.

And she introduces Jimmy
as, like, her boyfriend.

So then I'm like, "Well, does
he wanna have kids too?"

And she said, "No.
I don't think so."

- Do you have kids yet? No?

- I don't.

But I've never really had, like,

a really strong desire
to have children.

- Okay, well, then
he doesn't wanna have kids.

- I mean, to each his own.

- So then she was
talking about, like,

artificial insemination...

- Yeah.
- To, like, have a kid.

- But then what's she gonna do
with Jimmy?

- Right.

So is he a boyfriend,
or is he just like?

- There's a lot of weird stuff
going on there.

- Well, Kelly told me
they don't have sex.

- I know. It's so weird.

You have to have sex
to have a baby.

You gotta do
it to make the baby.

I'm gonna ask her.

- When it comes to sex,
you're like,

"I just ask right away."

- I like to ask the question.

- Wow. You look amazing.

Look at Momma's wow.

- People say that soulmates
are not real.

But I knew the minute
Sean walked in the door

that we were gonna be
together forever.

And here we are 20 years later,

and I'm just now
figuring out who I am.

It's sort of like
almost like we're giving birth

to a whole new phase
of our life,

and I am excited.

- Mommy's a wow. Mommy's a wow.

- What time is it?
- It's 6:00.

- What time does it start?

6:00. - Okay.

We're gonna be late.

- Oh, my God, you guys. Whoa.

Give me two minutes.

The dress has to be lower
than the jacket.

Oh, my God. Call me the fat ass.

Oh, my God. Is my neck too fat?

- No!
- No, you just gotta

move your finger.

- This is called fat back then.

- Don't. Stop it.

- Don't you wanna have a coat?

- No, I'm good.

- One more sip.

- Mom, don't fall.

- Okay. Where's the umbrella?

- Pull your dress down, Sophie.

- The Beador-Janssen crew
are coming

dressed for a funeral, Kelly!

- Oh, my God.

- Why do I feel like
pieces of... ing trash?

- You're actually not invited.

- Get back in the bus.

- Look at this. Voilà.

- So it's gonna be
blackberry vodka, lemonade,

club soda, and a coat of sugar.
- Oh! I love that.

Love that.

Some people think that having

a vow renewal is a curse.

- You may greet each other
with a fresh kiss.

- Amen.

- Oh, Shannon, I love you.

You are the rock of my life,

and I can't wait
to spend the next 50 years

growing old with you.

- So better hope
for Braunwyn and Sean.

- Wow.

- Hey!
- Oh, my God!

Where were you?
- How are you guys?

- I just did Bohemian black tie.

- I like that.

Hey. How are you?

You look sharp. - In the flesh.

- You look great.

- How are you?
- Oh, mwah.

We're doing the air kisses.
- I know.

- Oh, my God, there you are.
- Hey, question.

Shannon Beador
looks like a mortician.

- It's so frustrating
to be apart from Rick.

But I have Zach here with me,

and he is like
my second gay husband.

They all look like
they went to a funeral.

Hey, Shannon.

Tell Zach about your water
that you wanna do.

- What are you talking about?

- Coming up...

- Do you vow to always love Dad
when he gets really famous

and bounces off with a
12-year-old American model?

- Shannon, tell Zach about
your water that you wanna do.

- What are you talking about?

It wasn't a beverage.
Mine isn't a beverage.

- No, no, no, no. But it...

- I thought you said
you were doing amino water.

- No, I'm doing a tincture
like a health supplement.

- Oh!
- Not a water.

No.

Hi! How are you?

- She told me water.
I'm not lying.

- The powder you came up with,
I want some of that.

- Oh, it's a tincture.
- Right, yeah.

- Okay.
- A what?

- A tincture.
It's a supplement that has...

- A tincture?
- A tincture.

- What the hell is a tincture?

And why would you even say that?

It sounds like sphincter.

- I told Kelly about Lemon-Aid.

And she went
and told her partner

I'm starting a water company

like I'm trying to go after her.

I'm not... are you... ing
kidding me right now?

I am an ethical person
that has morals.

So I would never infringe

upon someone's product.

For Kelly to assume
that I would, that's hurtful.

- It's a tincture!

- How long have you
been doing this for?

- 36 years.
- Wow.

- Babette Schwartz
is an amazing drag queen.

Larger than life.

She happened to mention that
she was an ordained minister

so who better
for this stage in our life?

We have a son that loves drag.

We have me that's just
coming into her own

to say, "Hey, guys.
Let's have a fabulous time!"

- Where are we supposed to sit?

- I'll sit on your lap.

- I need everybody
to take their seats please.

- Here, I'll... here.

- I'll just lay
across the women.

Oh.

- Why would she do that?

It's completely inaccurate.

I'm doing
a nutritional supplement.

I am floored by that.
I would never do that.

She freaking plants that
into everyone's head?

Why would she do that?
Are you... ing kidding me?

Honest to... ing God.

- Everyone that way.

- Come on.

- I am Babette Schwartz,

and I am gonna be
your officiant this evening.

What I would like to do now
is I would like to bring out

the Braunwyn and Sean family!

We have Bella, Curren.

We have Rowan, Caden.

We have Jacob, Koa.

We have Hazel.

- She's picking 'em up.

- Here they come!

I give to you....

Braunwyn and Sean.

- You guys did so good!

Yay!

- We're gonna have fun tonight.

I'm thinking some of you
are a couple cocktails in?

And the rest of us
need to get caught up.

- Although the
officiant's makeup

is completely on point,

she is extremely tone deaf.

- Do you have anything
you wanna say to each other?

- I just wanna say

the last 20 years with you
have been amazing.

Through everything
that I've been or have become,

you have been
right there with me.

And also, I have a gift for you.

Sean loves
a good statement necklace.

- Sean just can't have
too many statement necklaces.

I always think of "Survivor,"

like he won the Immunity Idol.

He's not getting kicked
off the Island today.

He's safe for one more round.

- Wow.
- The fish hook is a sign

of being a provider.

You've been such
an amazing provider.

On our first date,
I said I never wanna work.

I wanna have five kids.

Most men would run.

And he didn't.

And he's like, "Okay.
That's cool."

- Yeah.
- And here we are,

and he's taken such good care
of all of us.

- So thank you.

Stop making fun of him now.

- Whoo!

- Thank you.

A crazy 24 years.

The ups and down,
the hard times, everything,

I would do it again.

And I did get you
something special too.

- Aww.
- Yes!

- So this ring that I had made.
- Beautiful.

- So every one
of these gem stones

represents each one
of our kids' gemstones.

- Aww.
- Of our entire family.

And I hope it fits.
- She's like, "Give it to me."

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

- Okay.

- Do the children want to
include vows to your parents?

- Dad,

do you vow to always love Mom

even when, uh, she...

embezzles all of your money
and runs away

in an Apache attack helicopter
at 12:00 am?

- If I can find her, yes.

- And Mom, do you vow
to always love Dad

even when he gets
really famous one day

and bounces off with
a 12-year-old American model?

- What is going on here?

- It was going so well.
- I know.

They need to quit
while they're ahead.

- What I said wasn't funny.

- Okay. You're cut off.

- Okay.
- No.

- Do you wanna say anything,
Bella?

- Uh, sure.

You guys always keep
your love so alive,

and I honestly just find it
so inspiring.

And I can only dream

of having the love
that you guys have.

Aww.

- Yeah. She's the good one.

Yeah.

- It is amazing
to be able to stand here

and commit to Sean
fully present.

And to know that I mean it

and I am fully here for it.

- Ladies and gentlemen,
I give to you again

Mr. and Ms. Braunwyn Burke!

- I gotta go tell Gina
something right now.

- I know.
- You need to what?

- Hey, Gina.

I don't know when I told Kelly,

but you know I've been working
on my food line?

- Mm-hmm.

- And I've always been working

on a supplement for a year.

Kelly goes,
"So, did you tell Zach

about the new water line?"

Are you... ing kidding me?

What the?
- I don't know even know.

I had just come in and I heard...

- No, like...
- Well, she said...

- Get your... ing facts
straight, Kelly.

I would never do that to you.

I'm doing a... ing tincture.

- Those are two
completely different things.

- What's going on over here?

- Talk to her about it.
- I will.

- What's going on?

- Next time

on "the Real Housewives
of Orange County"...

- Your dad and I drink tequila,

and she didn't
wanna have tequila here.

So out of respect,

I'm gonna have one in the room.

- Her kids have lice.

- Who has lice?

- Braunwyn's kids all have lice.

- I was touching them!

- I know!

- Do you and Jimmy have sex?

- No. We don't have sex.

- Is it you that
doesn't wanna have sex

or him that doesn't
wanna have sex?

- Both.

Why am I so... ed up
in the head?

What the?

- I promise you
this will kill you.

- Get in there!

- Whoo!
- Oh!