The Real Housewives of Orange County (2006–2020): Season 15, Episode 5 - An Unexpected Guest - full transcript

After her explosive meltdown at Shannon's housewarming party, Braunwyn finds herself trying to make amends and move forward. Braunwyn opens up to Gina about her life-long struggle with ...

- Previously on "The Real
Housewives of Orange County."

- Gosh, I was in a lot of pain.

Like, I couldn't even like,
bend over

and put my underwear on.

- Is that why you
didn't wear underwear?

- Yeah!

- My psychic, he said
I was gonna meet a guy

that he was gonna give me
a ten-karat diamond ring.

- Well, that's like
anyone in Newport.

- No sh...
- [laughs]

That's literally
not even psychic.

- We're not going forward
with the deposition.

He won't have
an attorney anymore.

He'll be self-represented.

- I'm really happy

'cause I feel like this is

in the best interest
of our kids.

- I would never ever call
anyone's home sad.


- Either you're lying to me

or you don't remember... - No.

- Because you said it.

- I think I have to call Shannon

about the vow renewal. - Okay.

- And, you know, Shannon's
supposed to be there with John

and all six of their kids.
I want that.

- I don't move on from people
saying I'm a liar.

I'm 30 days sober today, bitch.
- Good-bye!

Are you? You're acting like it.

- Stop. Stop!

- Okay. And there you go.

[coy electronic music]

- Don't judge me by what I do.

In fact,
just don't judge me at all.

♪ ♪

- Cheers to bad choices

then making better ones.

♪ ♪

- Those who live in small houses

should definitely throw stones.

- Life is full
of beautiful curves...

New hip!

And so am I.

- I earned my money
the old-fashioned way:

marrying it, then making more.

- I've closed the old Beador

and opened a new one.

♪ ♪

[upbeat electronic music]

♪ ♪

- Kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty.

Fisker, I need to teach you
how to clean the litter box.

'Cause Mommy
doesn't like to do it.

It's yucky.

So much poop for such
a little animal.

Fisker, where'd you go?

I think Annabelle needs
to do this from now on.

♪ ♪

- Yello.
- Hey.

Where are you?
Looks like Costco.

- Better. Walmart.

- Ugh.

I didn't know there was
anything better.

- Well, you're right.
Costco, they feed you.

- That's why I go to Costco.

- So what's up?

- I went over to Kelly's house
last night.

Braunwyn came over.

For the first time,

I actually felt compassion
for her.

- Yes.
- She admitted...

she was taking things
out on you personally.

And she had no reason
to do that.

- I was judging and mingling
and cruel.

- You were, yeah.
- I was,

and I have to apologize
to her for that.

Both: Yeah. - So I texted her.

And I asked her to...
[clears throat]

Go to a meeting with me.

- Yeah.

- That was rude
and inappropriate.

- Sean, wow.
- Thank you.

You wife has been attacking me
for weeks.

- No, it wasn't. I was...
She was not.

- Issue is gonna be harder
to deal with

if he's always there kind
of cleaning up her messes.

- You should say
all those things to her.

I think Sean's a great guy,

and I think he's a good dad,

but why isn't Sean having

some kind of intervention
with his wife?

- I got my own stuff
still going on.

I don't need any of that.

I have a meeting with Mike Fell

about what happened
to me last year.

Like, I'm still having
emotional responses

from like, a lot of things
that I went through, too.

- Right.
- And now having somebody,

like, picking on me

and coming at me
is, like, not okay.

- I don't think
it's anything personal.

I don't think it has
anything to do with you.

- Yeah.
- You know what I mean?

- And I've said
a couple things to her

that exposed truths

that she doesn't wanna have
to hear or deal with.

- Well, she doesn't,
and she told me that,

because she said that
she didn't like me last year

because I was the only one
that kept calling her out

on the drinking.
- Calling her out.

- I really pushed you away.

Instead of hearing
what you were saying,

I kind of attacked you

because it was easier.

It was easier for me.

- So she obviously
has a hard time

having relationships with people

who aren't just gonna be like,

"Oh, you're so fun and funny."

- I just don't like
inauthentic people.

- Right.

I just think when you see her
on Saturday,

she's really gonna apologize,

and from what I felt,

it felt really heartfelt
and sincere.

- I was nervous about Saturday

because I'm like,
what's the point?

- Well, I mean,
you would crush her.

That's not even, like,
a fair fight.


[upbeat electronic music]

♪ ♪

- Hey.
- Hey!

- Oh, my God. Thank you so much.

Thank you for coming down
from LA.

I tried to find, like, anything
for Jacob online.

- Yeah.
- And you can't.

You can't find stuff.
- Oh, my gosh, yeah.

- And it's not like
Orange County has drag outfits.

- Yeah.

- Are you excited?
- Yeah!

- You're not nervous
about doing this at all?

- No. I'm excited.
- [laughing]

- I'm not nervous at all.
- Haven't you heard him?

He's been waiting
to do this for a while.

- This Christmas, Jacob asked me

for a pair of heels.

- I can walk in heels very good

since I naturally walk
on my toes.

- He had never expressed
any desire

to get into the world of drag.

But ever since Jacob was a baby,

he has loved fashion.

When we were in Miami,

Rowan and Scarlett would do

his hair, his makeup,
his clothes.

He put on heels and a hat,

and he would go, like,
stroll around Target.

- Oh, yes.

I'm changing into these two.

- Do you need help?
- Nope.

Both: Nope?

- I asked Jacob,
"What does this mean to you?

"Is it pageantry?
Is it identity?

Is it your, you know, gender?"

And his answer was,
"I don't know."

- Rowan, you gotta
see these things.

- Oh, my God.
- Right?

- It's like I'm in a fairy tale.

- But what he does know
is that he has family

that love him any way he is.

Let us know when you're coming
out, 'cause I wanna video it.

- I'm coming out right now.

- Okay.
- Ahh!

- Oh, my God!
- Whoa!

- Oh, my God! It's amazing.

- I pulled my hair back
so I can see.

- Oh, my God!

I have never seen you this hot.
- Right?


- I'm serious.

This is the hottest
you've ever been.

- Careful with your heels.

- Oh.
- Ooh!

- Oh!
- Okay.

- Oh, my God. This is amazing.

Oh, ah! - Whoa!


- Ooh.
- Oh, my God!

You look amazing.

- This is my favorite.
- Yeah.

- All right.
Do, like, your sexy poses.

- I wanna do drag

'cause it's kind
of like a therapy.

- So that's not sexy, honey.
- All right.

- Do the first one.
Do the first one.

Ooh, yeah. That's good.

- It unlocks another part
of yourself,

and makes you stronger

and more aware of who you are.

- Dude, you are
going to kill it.

- Hottie! [laughter]

- I had
incredibly bad depression

for about a year,

and drag helped me
get out of that.

I have a lot of people
that are very understanding,

and I think that's
the most important thing.

You always need people

who honestly do love you.

- I like how he puts
his normal clothes back on.

- Now he's in...

Now he's all
to his normal shaggy self.

- Jacob's journey right now

inspires me at this time
in my life

because I'm coming into my own.

He could've taken
the easy route,

but he didn't.

He took the honest
and true route,

and I wanna follow
in his footsteps.

My son is a role model to me.

Next up, hair, makeup.

And you are gonna be the
prettiest princess at the ball.

- No!

He's gonna be the baddest queen.

- Baddest queen.
- Okay?

- Sorry.
- Work it.

[birds chirping]

[birds squawking]

[upbeat pop music]

♪ ♪

- Hi, Mike.
- Nice to meet you again.

- Always nice to see you too.


- We've got three months
and four days

to get your license back.

- That's really... I mean, it's
been a while now, you know?

- It has been. Yeah.

- And so... over a year
since it happened.

And poor Travis. - Mm-hmm.

- He has to drive me everywhere.

To get my license back,

I had to do community service,

take part
in a defensive driving course,

and AA meetings,

even though
I'm not an alcoholic.

- One of the most glamorous
things that we do

is pick up poop.

- I'm not used to having
to search for it.

It's usually just like
a land mine

in a diaper, you know?

I've been shoveling sh...
For years.

I mean, I have three kids.

I'll shovel the sh... all day.

- We wanted to put an end
to the DUI

which you have. - Right.

- But there's another road...

- Yeah.
- That we're traveling.

- On Saturday, June 22nd,

your ex was arrested
in Orange County

on suspicion
of domestic violence.

It's important to point out,

Matt denies all
of these allegations.

Matthew's attorney said
in a statement to E News,

"These are just allegations
brought by the DA.

"It's not evidence of a crime.

"Matt maintains his innocence.

Whatever happened
was an unfortunate event."

- In California, we have
this constitutional amendment

called Marsy's Law. - Mm-hmm.

- And part of Marsy's Law is,

they wanna know
how the victim feels.

To give a statement to the court

about how this
has impacted your life.

You don't have to,
but you certainly may.

- I know, and it's hard,
because it's like,

I think about those people,

and I think about those women,

and I feel so bad, you know?
- Right.

- It's really, really sad,
and it shouldn't be that way.

Um, it just feels like

it was a really long time ago.
- Mm-hmm.

- And where we are now is,
we're coparenting...

- Right, right.
- So well.

You know what else
we have to talk about?

Sienna's birthday. - Yes.

- You're welcome to come.
- All right.

Appreciate it. Sounds good.

- It's hard to stand up to him.
- Oh, yeah.

This may be something

that helps him
in the long run...

- Yeah.
- Even though it's unpleasant

for all parties involved.
- Right.

What happened that night...

I struggle with it to this day.

I still wake up
in the middle of the night.

I have bad dreams.

That's hard. - Yeah.

It's gonna be... it is.
It's very hard.

- I wanna give a statement.

I feel like it's one
of those things

that I know
in the back of my mind

would be good
and healthy for me,

but I don't know if I can.

♪ ♪

- What they say is this.

A lot of the victims end up
calling themselves survivors,

not living their life
as a victim.

- Yeah.
- And that's what you're doing.

You're gonna come out
the other end as a survivor.

[dramatic music]

- Coming up...

- Stella said to me,

"Someday you're gonna get older

and realize
what you've done to me."

♪ ♪

[upbeat pop music]

♪ ♪

- Look at these bad boys.

There were so many at the store.

- Give me a little "Yeehaw,"

- Yeehaw!


- If I don't come back with
a Southern accent, I swear.

- Sophie's gonna do well
in Texas.

I think it'll be really,
really good for her

to get out there
and be on her own,

take care of herself.

She's already talking about how

she wants to date
a football player.

How is the book coming?
- It's going.

- Schools really look
for leaders.

- Well, I'm in the process
of writing a book

about living
with divorced parents.

I have to meet
with some publishing companies

and propose the book to them.
- That's good.

Can't wait to read it.

My fear is that as
you guys get older,

you're gonna hate me...
- That's not true.

- Because I feel awful.
- I don't hate you.

- I know what a horrible effect

my parents' screaming
and fighting had on me.

[tense music]

And I remember Adeline
used to say

she'd put her head
in the pillow,

try to not hear it.

Stella said to me,

"Someday you're gonna get older

and realize
what you've done to me."

- I feel some tension
between you guys.

Tired of always
seeing you teary-eyed.

- I'm sorry, sweetie.

So, you know, I know
I had a negative impact.

I feel bad about it.

I worry that I'm passing on
that reactiveness to my kids.

The only saving grace
that I have

is that my daughters are seeing

what a happy relationship
looks like today.

- I think this is gonna
be therapeutic for me.

And I'm not trying to make you
or Dad look bad.

I'm just telling the truth.

- What's it gonna be called?
"How My Mom... ed Me Up?"

- No. Gosh.

The book's gonna be called,

"How to Weather
the Shannon Storms Beador."

Well, that's pretty.
- You haven't seen it?

- Oh, did John get that for you?

Wasn't that... - Oh, yeah.

- A Valentine's Day present?

- Are you comfortable
around him?

- Mm-hmm. I like John.

For me, it doesn't matter
who my mom is dating,

but my mom needs someone

who can support her
emotionally and financially.

He's funny,

he likes country music,

and he laughs with us.

I sometimes don't think
John can do both of those,

but, I mean,
it's not really my business.

- I'm proud of you, sweetie.

- Thanks.

No. Oh, no!

I've seen...
- Want me to climb up?

- [squeals]

You're gonna wake Archie up!

[upbeat electronic music]

♪ ♪

- I have literally driven
past this store so many times.

Pull. I can read.

- Oh.
- Hi.

Welcome to The White Dress.
- Hey, hi.

- Hi, I'm Marlais.
- Hey, Marlais.

- This is Ashley, our manager.
- Hi, Ashley.

- Hi, I'm Ashley.
I'm gonna be helping you today.

- Awesome.
- Congratulations.

- Oh, my God.
- Congratulations to you too.

- Thank you.
- Congratulations.

- [indistinct]. [laughs]

- You know what?
I had a dream about you.

- What?
- That you were pregnant.

- Uh, no, girl.
- Like two nights ago, I did.


- No. No, no.

I couldn't imagine
doing school all over again.

What's the smallest factor
that goes into 81?

- I've... I'm not good at math.

I had to take college algebra
like, ten times.

Like, ugh.

- All right.
If you ladies wanna follow me,

we'll set our things down

and kind of start talking
about what we're looking for.

Okay, so I understand
you're renewing your vows.

- Yes, in three weeks.

- Very cool. How many years?

- Sean and I have been married
for 20 years.

It was a very small wedding.
- Right.

- Very quick, very simple.

- Oh.

- I just thought,
"Yeah, we've been through

a lot of ups and downs."

So I wanna do this again.
- Yeah.

- And I just have wanted
to have this moment

'cause I never got to have it.
- Yeah.

- Kelly's getting married soon.

She just got engaged recently,
so my...

- This is my third wedding.
- Okay.

All right, do you wanna kind
of start browsing around?

- We... why don't you pick out
a few that you think

are like... I do love shiny.

Berta's always
a favorite of mine.

- The Berta, yeah.
Let me pull some.

- Sean and I have had
a vow renewal before.

We renewed our vows
for our ten-year anniversary

after we went through a really
hard time in our marriage.

This vow renewal
is important to me

because Sean and I
are starting a new chapter.

After 20 years, I'm still here,

and there's nowhere
I'd rather be.

[magical whooshing]

[upbeat hip-hop music]

- Kelly!

- You look beautiful.

- I love it.
- Like a fairy, yes.

- I love everything about it.
- Huh?

I don't like all that stuff
on the bottom, though.

♪ ♪

- You like it too big like that?

- I love this one.

I think it flatters my body.
I love this.

- You can see her panties
in that.

- You need to try
something on too.

I feel so pretty in these.

- I don't like any of these.

- Ugh. It's so pretty.

- I just don't like the... I...
We'd have to take all this...

- But it's beautiful.

Do you wanna try this one on?

- Let me see it. No.

- Oh. [laughs]

- This is more...

- Okay, that's more Kelly.
- Yeah.

- I could see that with like,
a flower in her hair.

- I don't like flowers
in people's hair.

That's stupid.

It's kind of embarrassing
being married three times.

I feel like I'm Morticia.

I think third time's the charm,


- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Now will all the kids be there?
- Mm-hmm.

- Okay. What are they wearing?

- That's... like, we're fighting
right now.

So I want all my daughters...
- [laughing]

- To wear dresses that match.

My oldest is like, "No." - Okay.

- Jacob might wear a dress.

My son recently started
doing drag.

- Is he doing drag

because he wants to like,

have attention towards him?

Because you told me
he wasn't transgender,

and he told me he wasn't gay.

- I asked him
if it was an outfit,

if it was about the clothes
or something more,

and he said he didn't know.

Jacob is making some decisions

that are gonna
make people hate him

without ever getting
the chance to meet him.

And he was thinking
about it himself,

and I didn't push.

And yes, as a mother,
that freaks me out,

but I also know that
if you stand in your truth,

that you will be a role model

and help so many people.

- And then I will go ahead
and give you my card.

So if you have any questions,
let me know.

- Okay, perfect.
- Your favorites are on there.

But it was so nice to meet you.
- Yeah, you too.

Thank you so much
for everything.

- Bye.
- Bye.

- Do you wanna go to Jan's
and get a drink?

- Not even a little bit, Kelly.

Not even a little.

[upbeat bass music]

♪ ♪

- Um, do you guys have a mall?

- Do we have a mall?

Does a cow poop in the woods?

- Nope. It's not a cow.

It's a bear. - Oh, wait.

Does a bear poop in the woods?

- I don't know.

- Mom just had a hot flash.


Did you guys get good grades?

- Yeah.
- Promise?

- Yeah, Cassandrah got
really good grades.

- Cassandrah, are you
book smart or street smart?

- I'm book smart.

- I'm math.
- You're math?

- I'm math smart. [laughter]

- My children
are my nieces and nephews.

They fulfill
that maternal instinct

that I have inside me
as a woman.

Do you guys wanna do
a helicopter to Catalina?

- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.

- I set 'em all up
with a million-dollar trust,

each one of 'em.

They don't know it yet,

'cause I don't
want them to murder me.

[laughing] I'm just kidding.

Come look at this side.

- God, this is
so pretty in here.

- I know.

So, um, I didn't want,

Cassandrah to hear it,
but what are we gonna do

about the rehab?

- We asked her if she was ready,

and she said yes.

If she didn't have any intention

of following through with it,

why did she agree to go?

- My sister started
using heroin at 14.

Not knowing where she's at
and that she's missing

is tearing my soul apart.

Growing up, Anna and I
were inseparable.

I was her older sister.
She always looked up to me.

And then she turned 14.

She started rebelling

and got into drugs.

- Wait, Cassandrah does know
what's going on.

- That's so sad.

I just... I can't accept it,
but I have to.

She's a 40-year-old drug addict.

Growing up, my father died
of alcoholism.

My mom's my rock.

She went through a lot
with my alcoholic dad.

Because he was an alcoholic,

he'd had full-on system failure.

So to see my sister
fall off the deep end

and her daughter start
to go through

what I went through
hurt my heart.

How can she choose this?

- Well, I don't really know.

I've actually spent
enough of my time

dealing with Anna's crap.

I can't handle
that disappointment anymore.

- I feel like I did
everything for her.

[emotional music]

It just makes me sad.

Everyone was like,
"Oh, Elizabeth.

"You have all this money.

Why don't you help your sister?"

and I'm frustrated
because I can't help her.

♪ ♪

- No amount of money
will help her.

She is where she is because
that's where she wants to be.

'Cause she had
every opportunity.

- Yeah.

I hope to one day
see her sobered up

and, you know,
we're playing dress-up again.

'Cause I save all
of my clothes for her.

♪ ♪

[emotional music]

♪ ♪

As long as Cassandrah's happy,
you're happy...

- Well, that's...
That's all I can do

is take care of Cassandrah.

- Yeah.

- 'Cause she's
the most important thing.

- You raised all of us
just fine, so...

- That's right. [chuckles]

[upbeat music]

- Coming up...

I invited Matt over, and I'm
gonna put a smile on my face,

but it's, like, hard to, like,
think about all that

and then to... - I know.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- SkyBell.

- Hi. [laughing]

- Do I have to, like,
launch myself over?

- Hello!
- [laughs]

♪ ♪

[doorbell chimes]

- Hello!
- Hi.

I'm just saying, it says,
"Enter at your own risk."

- Oh. [laughs]
- So...

So you've never been here?

Come on in.

- Thank you. This is so nice.

- Yeah.
- Reminds me of my summer.

- Yeah.

- You lived right down
the street, you said.

- At the very end, yeah.
- Yeah.

- But we didn't have
a boardwalk,

we just had grass.

- Oh, so you had
the nice places?

[tense notes]

Speaking of bougie,
here's my garage.

- Is there a Ferrari in it?

- No,
but I'm gonna buy a Ferrari,

and I'd love you guys to come.

- My mom had a Ferrari
growing up.

- I'm gonna draw on the side
of it, and I'm gonna donate it.


- This is
the good Orange County stuff.

Like, watching this OC,
like, primal energy

just coming out of them
about who has a cooler Ferrari

and a bigger beach house.

- This is my kitchen.

I got salmon
and whitefish and chicken.

- Oh, ooh.
You get that at the market?

- Yeah. At the pavilions.

- I definitely feel
a match brewing

for who will be champion
richest bitch in Newport.

- This is the patio area.
- Oh, wow.

- I have fresh broccolini
and superfood salad.

- Wow.
- [chuckles]

- She put out quite a spread,

all nicely labeled on the bowls

so we knew what we were eating

and how much it costs

and how many pounds
that she purchased.

- Oh, I have
this sparkling probiotic.

- Not the kind of luncheon
I would throw,

but A for effort, Elizabeth.

- Shannon, can you pass me
those crackers?

I want bread. - I know.

It's like a cracker.

- Yes, skinny bitches.

Would you please eat
my gourmet lunch?

- There's no skinny here,
but maybe a bitch.


Have you seen or spoke
to Braunwyn since the party?

- Well, I texted her afterwards
and I just said,

"I didn't realize you were
going through such hard times.

I hope you're well,"
and "I'm thinking of you"

or something like that.

- I hope she gets well, too.
- Right.

- You know, maybe we should
all kind of rally and support...

- You see, this is what...

I'm sorry. - No?

- This is where I get...
It gets tricky for me.

I'm the person that she's
choosing to put her sh... on

because she doesn't want
to deal with it.

- Yes.

- She's just... ing floundering.

- There's a lot
of judging going on.

It's not nice. It's not fair.

I mean, to each his own.

I just... I think she should be
a little more sensitive.

- She wants me to go
to an AA meeting with her.

- Oh.

- And I have to go anyway
'cause it's court-mandated.

- You're court-ordered.

- So that means
if you guys get along,

that you guys are maybe gonna
come to her vow renewal?

- I declined the invitation.

- She called me and said,
"I know it's gonna take time

to move past our issue,
but I want you to come."

- I want to figure out how we
can move forward,

but till we can get
to that place,

'cause it might take a while,

I still really, really want

you and John and the kids
to be there.

She invited all of our kids,

and all our kids are excited
to go,

so what do I do?
Tell my kids, go like, "No.

Mom got in a girl fight, so now
we're not gonna be able to go."

Like... - Yeah.

- I'm not gonna look
like a dumbass.

I don't know
what Braunwyn's expecting.

You call me a liar,

and I'm supposed to say,
"Oh, let's all be fine."

You know,
time's only gonna tell,

but the liar story has to stop.

- I had a hell
of a day yesterday.

- What happened?

- I had a meeting
with Mike Fell.

- Are you close?

I mean, are you going to trial,

or are you gonna
just try and settle?

- [stutters]

It's not even about the divorce,

about the domestic violence.
- Okay. Right.

- [sighs]
It's just, like, really sh... y.

You know what?

I'm trying my best
to just pretend like it's okay,

and we're gonna co-parent,
and we're great.

And we are to a certain extent,
you know?

- Right.

- And then this
is my daughter's birthday,

Sienna's birthday,
and so it's like,

I invited Matt over,
and he's gonna come over,

and I'm gonna put
the smile on my face.

You know,
I'm gonna take the picture,

but it's, like... [sniffles]

Hard to think about all that
and then to...

- I know.
- I'm sorry, honey.

[dramatic music]

- Going to Mike's office...
It, like,

let me know that I'm gonna have
to eventually deal with this.

- Yep.
- That's a problem,

and I'm not very good
at not dealing with things.

- Yeah.

- You know, you were actually
very good at dealing with them.

- No.

- Like, you let yourself
feel them, I feel like.

- See, I'm gonna get teary-eyed
right now.

You know, Sophie is...
My oldest is 18,

and she's going
to Baylor next year,

and she's writing a book

on her experience
in going through divorce,

and I did things
that my parents did

that have affected me today,

and now I know
I passed that on to my kids.

And it was really hard to...

I have to put this on just
because of the sun.

- Yeah.
- It's right on me.

- Do you think that
with her writing this book

and her really getting involved
with her feelings...

I think she wants
to stop the pattern.

Like what you said.
- Yeah, that's what I said.

"You could break the cycle."

- You can break the cycle,
and that's so powerful.

- Yeah, and she's a great girl.

But she said to me, like,
"Mom, it's not a bad thing

"that all this happened
because I'm a stronger person

now because of it."

- When I think about Sienna,

I just hope my daughter
is strong.

I really do.

And I hope that she looks
at this and...

And thinks that her mother
is strong.

- When it's all said and done,
Gina, you are gonna look back

and go,
"Thank God it all happened,

because this is where I am,
and this is what got me here."

Coming up...

- I'm like, "Sean,
let's just have another baby."

Like, that has been
my easy way out...

- Wow, wow.
- When my drinking got too bad.

- Oh, 100%.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Señor.
- Sup, girl?

How are you? - Hi. Good.

- Good to see you.

♪ ♪

- Coronavirus.
It's like a super flu.

They say not to touch your face.

If I touch my face...

Let's, like, count and see
how many times I touch...

I wanna look at you.

- I touch my face all the time.
- Yeah.

- That's why my makeup smears
so much.

- [laughs]

♪ ♪

- I could run
a Ferrari dealership.

- I don't think so.

- Don't you think I deserve
a divorce present?

- Of course you do.
- Yeah.

- After you.
- Oh, thank you.

Hey, what's up? - Hi, ladies.

- Hey.
- How's it going?

- What are you looking for?

- I'm going to buy myself
a midlife crisis car.

- Oh, good.

- It's Newport.
- Yes.

- Doesn't everybody have
a midlife crisis car?

- Uh, I don't.

- Be nice to the convertible.

♪ ♪

- Whatever, ladies.
- Let's get us a car.

- [chuckles] Oh, this is badass.

- It's really pretty.
- This thing's badass.

- Oh, my God.
- What is that?

- Start her up.
Does she purr like a kitty cat?

[engine revs] Oh!

I need something to sit on.

Cars turn me on.
I can't help it.

Maybe I substitute speed

for other things in my life
that I'm missing.

- So are you dating?

- No, no, I'm with Jimmy.
- She's got a boyfriend,

but she doesn't have sex
with him.

- What?
- [laughs] I know.

- But I'm still married,

and when I get divorced,
we'll have sex.

I wish Jimmy
was a little faster.


- I'll be up at the front.
- Okay.

- You guys check out
whatever you want...

- Okay.

- And let me know
when you're ready.

- Thank you.
Well, we know Shannon

already picked that car.
- Yeah. [chuckles]

- We should drive this Ferrari
out to Palm Springs.

- You're all... are we all going?

Are you going? - Yeah.

- My kids are all going.
- Yeah.

- They are?
- She invited them, yeah.

And she got
to know them this summer.

- Oh, wow.

- I think that it would be
great to just support her.

- I always support Braunwyn.
- Yeah, I know.

- And I have, too.

Remember last year when she,

you know, passed out
in the plane?

I, like, waited with her
and got her in the car.

- Yeah.

- And so I guess
she's gonna meet with Gina.

- Going to the AA meeting

- Oh, good.
- Yeah.

- So can we not drink
in front of her now?

- Okay,
so that's what I'm getting at.

- Because we get MC Hammered.

- Well, I'm just saying maybe
we should be a little,

you know, maybe
a little more cautious?

No? Doesn't matter?

- I'm not a quitter, so...
[tense notes]

- I'm a little disappointed
in Kelly's behavior...

Let's test drive this biatch.

Because I have
a little soft spot

in my heart for Braunwyn.

She reminds me exactly
of my sister and that emptiness

and that need to feel loved
and belonging.

- Start button.
[engine turns over]


- Kelly, you're going with me.

Kelly and I will be right back.
- This is awesome.

♪ ♪


[engine revving]
Whoo! I don't have a helmet on.

Stop. [laughter]

- Dude, this is fly. I love it.

- Yeah.
- It's so fast.

- I got a surprise for you.

- We got a car for you now.
Let's go.

Are we ready?

Oh, he's bringing it around
for you.

- Is it, like, a lowrider?

- Something like that.
- Okay.

- [laughs] There you go.

[tires squeal]

- Oh, my God.

[laughing] Oh, my God.

- Let's see what the radius is
on this bitch.

[tires squealing] - [yelps]

[engine revving]

- Yeah.

- Get her door for her.
- Yeah, open the door for her.

- Oh, my God. [chuckling]

Oh, you guys. I can't.

- You ready? All right.

Brakes on the left,
gas on the right.

- Whoo!



♪ ♪

- Oh, yeah. Oh, my God.

I see flashy cars.

It's flash and, "Look at me.
Big penis driving this car."

Oh, the brakes. Oh, my God.

I do not need a big penis
or a big vagina car.

Is that awful to say?

You guys, I can't stop it.
You gotta get over here.

I can't stop it!

Nobody wants a big vagina.
[laughs silently]

[laughter] - How was it?

- That was so badass.
- Is it a go-kart?

- I love it.
- I say buy that bad boy.

- Yeah, you wanna go
talk numbers real quick?

- Yeah, let's do it.

- And then we'll kind
of figure it out.

I know it's bougie,
but whatever.

♪ ♪

- Hi. This is so awkward.

- I know.
This isn't awkward at all.

- This is so awkward.
- Yeah.

Like, super-awkward.

This is the most awkward
thing I've ever done.

- Well, I know you want
to talk about things.

Obviously, I do, too.

But, like,
to actually take me up

on, like, going to AA?

I appreciate you even letting
me into this part of your life.

I certainly wouldn't have thrown

alcohol in your face if I knew...

Nobody told me. - I know.

I mean, I wasn't ready
to really tell anyone yet.

- Yeah.

- I'm lucky, though,
because I have Sean.

He has been managing me
for so long.

He has been really good

at keeping the image
that I needed protected.

He's really good at, "Well,
I never saw you that drunk."

I'd be like, "Yeah,
'cause Sean would take me out."

And like, he actually started
going to Al-Anon, too,

because he's very...

- I don't want to get involved
in your marriage so much,

but I'm really happy
to hear that.

- Yeah. He'd be like,
"I'll come and get you.

I'll do this.
I will babysit you."

- I feel like he became
very enabling.

- Oh, very, yeah.
- Yeah.

It's coming out of a place
of genuine love,

but it's the completely wrong
thing for Braunwyn,

and I think that
they're gonna have to put in

probably a lot of work

to undo all that damage
through the years.

Was that part of why you guys
had that split?


- She cheats on her husband.

- Sean and I...

We separated and we're seeing
other people and we came back.

This is me thinking that since
I had so many years of sobriety

'cause of the babies...

- You could...
- Then I could control it.

This time would be different.

- Do you that that's why you
continued to have babies?

- Oh yeah. And that was...

when this happened this time,

I'm like, "Sean,
let's just have another baby."

Like, that has been
my easy way out

when my drinking
had gotten too bad.

- Wow.
- Oh, 100%.

- Wow.

- Because when it's gotten
too bad,

it's easier for me
to just get pregnant.

- To do the thing
that you know will ultimately,

like, will sober you up.

- Yeah, 100%.

♪ ♪

- This is so cute.

- It's... yeah,
it's right down a little,

but I didn't want to park right
in front

just 'cause... [chuckles]

- Yeah, I mean. anonymous.

- Coming up...

- I thought maybe
we should order, like,

an ice cream truck to come.

- It's gotta be
a cute ice cream truck,

not, like, a creepster.
- Oh, yeah. I will.

Like a pedophile van?

- I'm-coming-to-get-you van.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[knock at door]

- Oh!
- Hi, look.

I brought Lucy.

- We're gonna have a threesome.

- I don't know about that.
How are you, babe?

- I'm good. How are you?
- You look good.

- Thanks for coming over.
- We need to go walking.

- Oh.
- How's the hip? Feeling good?

- Oh, yeah. I feel amazing.

I like this suit.

- The reason
I brought that one...

- My boobies wouldn't stay
in that.

- That's the one I...
- They'd, like...

- One of the first ones I did.

If we're gonna do suits
that are for every figure,

do we need to put some type
of cups inside?

- You mean some kind of lift?

- What if we did
a one-piece swimsuit

with the longer sleeves
all in swimwear fabric?

- I met Lizzie five years ago,
and we instantly clicked.

She's beautiful, she has money,

she's had a bathing suit
company for 15 years now.

You mean, like, a bathing suit
with long sleeves?

- Yeah, 'cause a lot
of people like that.

- That's good. Look at you.

I don't know anyone
who doesn't like Lizzie.

[chuckles] Except for Tamra.

- You're crap, Tamra.

You're the most insecure woman
I've ever met in my whole life.

- You know what?

- Yeah, walk away.
That's all you know how to do.

- I will walk away.

(BLEEP) you guys.

♪ ♪

- Haters gonna hate.

I love being an attorney,

but there's not a lot
of creativity with it.

- Right.

- So this lets me use
the other side of my brain.

And I was always
a really good artist,

and I wanted to go
to fashion design school,

and I never did any of that.

- But, like, here we are.
- [chuckles]

- I mean,
I'm not making swimsuits

for, you know, Miss USA anymore.

- Right.

- And super-sexy,
little, cheeky suits.

- I say, like, for moms,

but when I say for moms,
I don't mean it's not sexy.

You can still be a mom
and be sexy.

- Listen, we're sexy moms.

- Yeah, exactly.
- Listen.

- Lizzie reached out to me
and said,

"I want you to design
a bathing suit

for your body type,"

and I was like,
"That's an awesome idea."

Most women out there are built
more like me than, you know.

I get lots of messages
from women saying,

"Thank you for being yourself

and not trying to be something
that you're not."

- That's why, I mean, I think,

was really why I wanted you
to help me design the suit.

- I remember specifically

getting a message
from a 12-year-old

and that I inspired her to
be more confident in herself.

Messages like that make me
happy about just being who I am

and being unapologetically
not a size zero.

- So who do you have coming
to shoot?

- Me?
- Yeah.

You're gonna shoot?

- And we can put a suit
on Elizabeth

because she's curvy.

- I can't wait, 'cause I'm
gonna buy the entire line.

- Yeah.
- Oh!

- 'Cause it looks good on you,

it's definitely gonna
look good on me, honey.


- Her house is beautiful.
It's right on the beach.

So we can do stuff inside
and outside.

- Gorgeous.

- I thought maybe
we should order, like,

an ice cream truck to come.

- It's gotta be
a cute ice cream truck...

- No, yeah. I will.
- Not, like, a creepster, like.

- Yeah, not like a... [chuckles]
like a pedophile van.

- I'm-coming-to-get-you van.

♪ ♪

- I feel really happy
to have gone with you today.

- Every time I go to one,

I hear something
that makes me feel better.

- Yeah.

♪ ♪

Hi. How you doing?
- Hi, welcome to Milk & Honey.

These are all
of our drinks here.

- What's this?

A tea latte
I've never had before.

- No, I'll get that.
Oat milk for me.

- Oat milk?
- I thought you said oat milk.

I was like, "Is this
a new Orange County thing

I haven't heard about?"

- That's what I drink. Oat milk.

- Oh, that is a thing.
- Yeah.

- Okay, I'll try that.
Let me try oat milk.

- Yeah, it is really good.
- It's so cute here.

- Thank you for the most
awkward play date ever.

- Yeah, right? Yeah.
- [chuckles]

- It's interesting
that you picked anger

as the topic in the meeting

'cause, like,
I feel like I, 100%,

have let go of any anger
I have towards you.

Going into the AA meeting,
this gentleman walks up to us

and asks if one of us
would lead the meeting,

and so I nominated Braunwyn.

She made this speech about

how she had displayed
this anger towards me,

and she apologized to me.

- I hope you feel that way, too.

- I do. 100%

- She didn't have to do that,
you know?

And that meant a lot to me.

- I need you to know that I

was trying to hurt you,

and I'm sorry.

And I won't do that again.

- I really appreciate that.
I accept that.

And I'm sorry as well.
- Thank you.

- And I also want to let you
know that for whatever reason,

that labyrinth walk
that you came on with me

is one of the most, like,
striking moments of my life.

Matt and I really thought we
would always end up together.

- [sniffles]
- It's hard to let go.

- Yeah.

- You were genuinely there
for me.

You cared for me,
and you were sober.

- No, I wasn't.

- You weren't?
- No.

- Oh.

- I was drinking in my room
that day that whole morning.

- Wow.

- I mean, I wasn't drunk...

- But you weren't sober.

- But I was... I was drinking.

- I really do feel for you
right now.

I would like to just start over.

- I would love that.

I think we just judged
each other

without ever taking the time
to get to know each other.

- I know at one point,

I did have an invitation
to your vow renewal,

and if the invitation's
still open,

I would really like to come.

- I would love for you
to be there.

- Okay.

And I'm really learning that

if you kind of get past
all the outside stuff,

most women, I would imagine,

have a lot more in common
than we care to admit.

- I also want you to know
that at your vow renewal,

I'm not going to drink at all.

I promise you that.

- [chuckling]
That's really sweet.

- Okay?
But I really promise you that.

Okay? I want you to feel like...

- That's really sweet.

- If you're struggling
or something,

you have someone that's, like,
a safe place, okay?

- That's really, really sweet.
Thank you.


- Like, obviously, I really
genuinely care about you.

- Yeah.

- Coming up...

- He is on his way.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- I want cake now.
- Do you want cake now?

- Yeah, you can't, though.
We have to wait for Daddy.

We're gonna have dinner
with Daddy and Brit first.

- And I've gots to go.

I mean it. - You stop that.

- That's true, that's true.

I invited Matt

because Sienna wanted her dad
at her birthday party.

And if one of my children wants
their dad at something,

I'm not gonna tell them no.

- He is on his way.

He's gonna be here
in about ten minutes.

Do you want to open one
of your presents?

- Yeah!

- Trav, do you wanna grab that?

Travis doesn't want
to be around Matt.

He knows I don't want
to be around Matt,

but because he has kids
and he's divorced,

he thinks about how
it would be for him if, like,

one of his kids wanted him
at the party

and then
he wasn't allowed there.

What did you get? - Scooter!

- Let me see.
Scoot on over here.

- Ooh!

♪ ♪

- [shouts] Daddy!

I got the scooter! [chuckling]

You wanna see? - Let me see.

- [indistinct]

- Happy birthday, girl.
- Happy birthday.

- Yeah. Hello? Okay.
- [laughs]

♪ ♪

- Hi.
- Hello.

[overlapping crosstalk]

- Are you cooking?

- You have to hold 800 presents.

- Hi.

- It's supposed to go in there.
- You're a sous chef.

- [chuckles]
- Are you a good girl?

- Yeah, yeah!

- Hi.
- What?

- I spent a lot of time

just burying my feelings
about a lot of things,

and it's not right,

so I decided to make
a victim impact statement.

Hi. - Hi.

- I at least want him
to have to hear

how I felt about that night

because it is literally
the most significant event

that's ever happened to me
in my entire life.

- Daddy! I'm happy!

I missed you, I missed you!

- When are we doing...
When are we doing presents?

- I don't know.
- [chuckles]

- Well,
I figured we should eat first.

- No. But I'm not hungry.

- And then we'll take it
from there.

- Giving
this victim impact statement...

It's hard because my desire

to just make everything happy
for my kids

is always taking precedent
to my own feelings,

but I'm hoping
that if he hears it,

it will affect him in a way
that will effect change.

- They made her a crown.
- I saw your birthday crown.

- A crown.
- We handed out goodie bags.

- You handed out goodie bags?
- Yeah.

She had a good day.

If Matt were to go to jail,

it would be horrible
for my kids.

- [grunting]

- She's really happy
you're here.

- That's a strong hug.
- [strains]

- Knowing that this
may be the last birthday

that Sienna will get to spend
with her father for a while,

it's sad.

I don't want that
for my daughter,

and I don't want to be

the person responsible for that,

and I have a lot
of guilt about that.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, I'll help you open them.

- This one.

- I don't know... Oh, what's up?

- What's going on...
It's heartbreaking,

but I think it will be

very beneficial for my children

to see that I will stick up
for myself

and I'm not gonna just
let Matt brush this off.

Somebody's always swooping in
to save him,

and I just really feel
like he needs to know

that I'm not
that person anymore.


Get it, girl! Get it, girl!


♪ ♪

- Next time on

"The Real Housewives
of Orange County."

- My ass is on fire.
Mi ass is en fuego.

- I'm, like, good

'cause I've been putting
in some work in the bedroom.

- [laughs]
- Okay, Kelly.

- You're sweating.
I wish I could sweat like that.

- I can help you.
- You can?

- Now that I'm not drinking,

just no one wants
to hang out with me.

- You're not nearly as fun.

- I'm realizing very quickly
who my friends are.

I thought Shannon and I
were friends,

and now I know we're not.

- I'm not drinking at her party.

- Yeah.

- She said her trigger
is tequila,

so she's not gonna have
tequila there.

- Oh, really?

- I'm a diabetic.

I'm not gonna have any fricking
cake at my party.

- I have some tequila here.

I know I'm not supposed
to show you.

- [chuckles]

- I didn't know
that was a trigger.

- The last 20 years of you
have been amazing.

I have a gift for you.

- Kelly,
she went and told her partner

I'm starting a water company.

Like I'm trying to go after her.

- Tell Zack about your water
that you wanna do.

- What are you talking about?
Are you... ing kidding me?