The Real Housewives of New York City (2008–…): Season 6, Episode 15 - Ten Gallon Spats - full transcript

Previously on The Real
Housewives of New York City

- Were you here last night?
You were here last night.

Jacques is not going to be too
happy when he hears about this!

You came to LeTi?

- No, but I saw you
here at the house!

I take you for drinks.

- LuAnn had her
time with Thomas

last night!

Tonight is..

Sonja's night.

Man in the house.



- You all need to thank
Reed for bringing me here.

Thank you, Reed.

Enough already! What I have to do?

Engrave it on my forehead
"Thank you, Reed"?

- Yesterday you were saying to me

how are we going
to Reed to leave!

How dare you?

You are both white
trash quite frankly!

So you gotta ask them to leave
for being rude or I'm leaving.

Never underestimate a woman
born and raised in New York City.

I may be a Princess but I'm
definitely not a drama queen.

My success is built on making
women look and feel their best.

Hola!

To some people living
elegantly just comes naturally.



I'm not afraid to say what
everyone else is thinking.

A little Sonja will
spice up any party.

Please, don't eat all
the blueberries, darling!

You guys are nice! There's
a really nice vibe here!

It's really nice.

- Thank you!

- You both very gentile people!

- It's because we don't see
each other that much, right?

We don't see each other that much.

- When we're together it's just fun.

- Which we may
benefit of, actually!

- The trip evolved into coed.

Into what?
- Coed.

It is so psychology, one on one!

It is a group of women
together and a man enters it,

everything changes!
The dynamics change!

- What time are we doing our thing?
- At eight o'clock!

- Eight o'clock is our
foursome dinner tonight.

What we should eat?

- I dunno, we'll figure it out,
but we'll be there together.

I'll be up like in a half hour!

- Alright! So nice to see you!

So nice to see you.

All right, I'm gaining all this
weight from all this good food.

The boys were having
breakfast here earlier.

The boys!
- The boys.

You guys?

- No. Reed and Russ.

All of a sudden, I
walked out thinking,

"Everything, all
women this morning".

That was all men.

Which was kind of strange!

What are we doing here?

What kind of trip is this?
I didn't get the memo.

I don't like surprises!

All of a sudden now it's
changed. There are many..

Couple trips.

I dunno what happened
to the girls week.

Everything changed.

- Nobody understands it changed.

And then "Oh, we're the selfish
ones". Right, because we're on vacation

and we were.. you
know, venting her anxiety?

We're the selfish ones now!

Okay, well, I could
stayed home with my kid.

I could have fricking fix
my things around my house,

I could've met with my lawyers

and I could have dated my..

"At home" dates.

Okay?

I have choices!

What about my friends
having some feelings from me?

Not coming screaming at
me calling me "white trash"!

- What exactly is
"white trash", anyway?

I don't even know what it really
means! I know it's a bad word

but what exactly does mean?

- I dunno! Maybe we are
"white trash" but who cares?

Don't call me that!

- I think white trash is
when someone who's tacky.

- We're white.

- We're white but we
grew up in beautiful homes,

we're self-made..

We act trashy.
- ..We're independent.

- No, we're not trashy!

- I want to Google
what is "white trash".

Alright! I'll go bring my iPad.

- I want to see what it is.

If you Google and there's
a picture of you and I,

then we'll know that it's true!

- There we are!

Oh my Lord.

"The term is usually a slur".

"Poor white people".

I was never poor!

- There's nothing wrong
being poor, white people!

No, but I'm not.. If you're get to
call me names, call me what I am.

- If you're poor white people you
still can make people feel welcomed.

- Righ there! White trash vs cracker.

hillbilly and okie and a redneck.

- Well, a hillbilly can
make people feel welcome.

To say, "we didn't
make feel welcome"

"Welcome to my trailer"!

"Hello"!

I can have a good time.

Anyway, it was a
negative comment, that's..

The bottom line
is it wasn't nice.

It wasn't a nice!

- Nobody's even here anymore!
- I know.

It's like we're here all..

- Just the white trash.
Anyone wanna be with us.

That's fine!

I'm feeling fabulous!

I don't even feel like
get dressed, you know?

It's like the balloon got
deflated, it broke, you know?

Like a balloon just like..

All the air came out, you know?

I know I'm not excited
about anything now.

- Come in!
- Hey!

Oh, you look so pretty!

Thank you.

Wait, you're going to Tamarine

- Yeah!
- ..With us for lunch? Oh, good, good!

- Are you going?
- Yeah!

I come to get you guys!

There's some weird
energy going on here.

- Just a little bit!

A little? That
sounds like a lot!

Just, I'm a little
confused about something.

I heard something about
the four of you, meaning

you, Russ, Reed and
Aviva are all going out

together tomorrow night without..

You're just going to
do a couples night?

No! Not tomorrow night!

Tonight we're gonna
go just out the four of us.

- All right, well I don't get it!

Can you explain all this to
me? What's going on now?

Because I don't really
get what's going on.

Can you explain it to me?

- Well, what do
we need to explain?

Because you told us,

This is a girls' trip!
- Why don't all of us girls..

Aviva just like came
so we can be with Aviva!

Okay, Carole's lying on the bed.

I get a "Peace, love,
make no waves!"

but you're the hostess!

You need to defuse the
situation and be the hostess

and say "It's the girls trip!"

- I just wanted to spend
some time with them!

- It's not about Reed and Russ!
This is us. Us girls being together!

- You invited us
girls for vacation!

- I hate to overheard!

Did you knock on the
door, my girlfriend?

- Can I just get a knock on the door?

- You didn't hear me?

No!

- Is this another warm welcome?

This is about last night!

Let's not get into a big..
- Is this another warm welcome, Ramona?

I thought this was all behind us last night

and as I'm walking by
Sonja and Ramona's room,

I hear them talking again
about the "girls trip" situation.

- You're raising your voice again.
- Carole's..

- .. Is here with Russ!
- Carole invited me to be..

- It's not a girl's week!

- Isn't about Russ! It's about
us girl being here today

while you're showing
Aviva the island!

- So we'll meet up
with you guys after!

We're going for an early dinner!

- You said you wanted Aviva
to come down and to be with us!

- But the welcome
that I got from Ramona

was just so awful that
I'm not feeling girly!

I didn't feel warm and
fuzzy when I got here.

Can you understand that?
- That's the truth in your head.

It's not the truth in my head.

The theme that has
come across very clearly

is that this is about your
vacation and you're fine!

- And being with you!

- And you're partying
unfortunately took precedents!

A lot of pain!

I'm talking! I'm talking!

Don't interrupt!

Don't lie! There's a lot of
partying that goes on here!

- What's party?
What's party means?

- It means drinking a lot!

- You don't know
what we're doing!

How dare you say
what we're doing!

How dare you!

How dare you welcome
me the way you did!

- You know what?

I'm taking away my apology!
- There was never a real apology!

Just leave my room!

Leave my room!

- You're a phony!

Oh, you can't handle it?

You can't handle it because
you can't handle the truth!

Aviva was getting all
Jack Nicholson crazy on me.

I decided the opposite.

I'll be like tool collected Tom Cruise.

- You pretend to be so real!

There's nothing real
about you, Ramona!

There's nothing real about you!

- Aviva, I think you had a
breakdown on the plane coming here.

She had a breakdown
on St. Barths.

Ramona and Sonja,
they just love the drama!

Is very easy for Aviva
to come with Reed!

They just could had said it's cool.

I mean, it's not like there
weren't another man at the house!

- I really thought
that when I got here,

I thought of all people

that you would
have put up a banner,

that said "Welcome,
Aviva! You did it!"

I never expected from
somebody like you,

who called yourself my friend,

to be.. to hear
that you are saying,

"Who's going to tell
Reed to leave the house"!

- We didn't say that!
- That's disgusting, girls!

- We wanted you to be with us!

We want our
girlfriend time with you!

This wasn't about you being a couple..

- You just spat on the
man who got me to here!

- I didn't spit on him, just we want..

- You wanted Reed out
of the house and in a hotel!

By the way, you're not
gonna be with us tonight!

You're going to be with Reed!

- It's disgusting!

Welcome to St. Barths
with your husband!

Aviva is not hearing me at all.

My problem's not
that she has Reed here!

it's that she's not
spending any time with us

because Reed's here.

In fact, she's dividing all of the girls!

Which is worse.

It's almost better
if she hadn't come.

- I hear you're trying to tell her

that we can't go with Russ and Reed.

- I didn't say that!
- We have plans with Russ and Reed!

Like what? You guys been here for a week,

I'm only here with Reed for two
days! What do you care?

Oh, you're here with Reed now!

I thought Reed brought
you to be with us, the girls!

- Ramona Singer!

I did nothing wrong!

- How is it.. You
did nothing wrong?

Then if you did nothing wrong

then why you did you an apologize?

The fact that you can't overlook
your own selfish worries about..

About people coming
in and out of the house

when there have been a lot of
guys coming in and out of the house,

I hear by the way!

- Yeah, in LuAnn's
room! For sure.

- No, no, no!

There have been guys picked
up from bars brought to this house!

So let's not..
- Yeah, LuAnn!

LuAnn!

- No, don't pretend that
this is some girls trip

but it's only girls!

I know for a fact that Sonja

has slept with this guy Thomas

because when I arrived,
Heather and Carole told me,

"I couldn't sleep in room A
because the sheets were dirty".

And I also heard that
Sonja was bragging about it!

Just the fact that you
were thinking of yourselves

about Reed being here

and it wasn't thinking about me!

- I wasn't thinking about me getting here!

- I wasn't worried because
you were with Reed!

- Hi, girls!

- It was very hard for me
to get on the little plane.

There's a reason why..
- We all were in the little plane.

I know, but not as much
as me because for me..

- Girls?

It's time for lunch, are you ready?

- One minute! C'mon in!
- Hi!

- I'm telling you something!

- And then you discover..
and then you arrive, okay?

And yes.. It's a
girl's trip sort of!

Now I'm understanding why
they wouldn't want Reed here!

They don't want any witnesses

to their atrocious behavior!

- The bottom line is we
are happy you're here!

Let's try to put this
all behind us now

because it's just
not good for you,

is not good for us!

Do whatever you want to do with us,

do whatever you don't want to do with us!

We are happy you're here!

Jump in when you want!
Jumped out when you want!

There you go!

You realize you really
don't know people

until you go away with them

and you live with them
and you're with them 24/7!

- The stairs without a railing.

We don't need another
anniversary situation!

Oh my god!

Coming up next

To continue to talk about
it and go round and round

is going to make the
trip a shit fuck fast, okay?

And I don't want to shit fast!

- Oh my God!

Even though they're all fighting we're
still tried to stick to the plans I made.

I wanted to take the
girls to Le Tamarin

because it's my friend Cats
restaurant and it's not only

a great restaurant but they have
shops and exotic beauty treatments.

I think we're gonna sit inside.

Sit inside?

- Watch your step here!

I walked into the restaurant
and is exactly as it was

twenty years ago
when I first went there

that very first Christmas
with Anthony and his mom.

- Alright! We're all together!

We have two more days so I
want them to be fun and calm!

We all say things
that we don't mean.

I think we all resonate with
the news, we were very happy

that Aviva was coming with Reed.

You guys..

Responded with a little less
compassionate. I'm sure you..

- You speak for yourself, Carole!

You're not speaking
for me but go ahead.

I did not act with a
lack of compassion!

Do not start this lunch..

You want to talk about
what you feel? Go ahead!

Don't speak for me.

- Well, I'm saying that..

- Yeah, sorry, sorry, sorry!

- Aviva and Reed were coming..

Both of you..

- Drop it!

One thing you cannot say about
me is that I don't have compassion!

You know, I've been working in
philanthropy for over twenty years.

And Lord knows I
listened to Aviva..

For months before this trip!

I want Aviva to
feel comfortable!

- I think that
we're all imperfect.

I've admitted to many,
many shortcomings, okay?

- What is going on?
We're in a vacation!

Can we just have fun

and stop embarrassing
ourselves at a restaurant

I had been going
to for 18 years?

- Bu we're going to say..

You are having lunch!

It's just not as drinking
and dancing on the table.

Excuse me one second! My
girlfriend's asking me a question!

I'll be right back!

- I'm gonna come with you!

- I'm gonna go talk to Cat too!

I mean, we're in St Barths! We
are dancing and drinking on tables!

I don't think you've got
the approcher of St. Barths!

- She was "Did I hear there were
parties and dancing on tables?"

Like we're not?

- It'd be really great
for them to admit that..

in that time, in that moment..

They're lacking compassion.

Here's what I don't understand,
what you two don't get..

You're not going to
get an apology, okay?

And to continue to talk about
it and go round and round

is going to make the trip
a shit fuck faster, okay?

And I don't want to a shit fast.

I want you here,
I'm glad you're here!

I want to sit down and
enjoy it! I want to enjoy

this beautiful island and I
want to enjoy my friends!

- I think we can't push it!
They're not gonna see that they..

So we're agreeing that we
cannot penetrate these greens..

Keep it surface!

You can't dig deep here.

You're going to hit rock.

Aviva's like a broken record
and I'm just getting tired of it.

I didn't think that plane was bad actually!

I didn't look out the window!

I put on my iPad, yeah.

and then I clenched in to Reed.

- Excuse me, I'm going
to the ladies' room.

- But it wasn't bumpy!

Once I landed here, you know.. I
made it through the trip, I'm like..

Aviva sure does like
to talk about herself

and her phobias!

- Did you see the runway,
how it hits the ocean?

The shore but it's the water..

It's like..

- Didn't look!

All I could hear was
their incessant talk about

the one subject I
had said several times

I didn't really want to talk about.

I'm gonna go shopping.

- What happened?

What was that all about?

I was feeling very emotional
because I was thinking about,

obviously, the plane crash that
killed my friends and my cousin.

Do you have a tissue?

And it's funny no one
asked me about it anyway.

It's not like I didn't have to worry
that anyone is going to run after me.

Thank you.

This trip was about
Carole enjoying herself

and there's a lot
of drama going on,

so I feel bad for her.

- Like I said, the trip
started about Carole

and then it became a about Aviva

and then it wasn't about Aviva

and then it became about Aviva again.

And that's the bottom line.

- You know what? If I
had one wish, honestly..

- It wouldn't
be about you..

Thank you!

And especially about this!

If it was going to be about
be something positive.

Certainly not about my anxiety, I
mean it's embarrassing, you know?

I mean, is the last
thing I want to focus on.

- Well, then you should
focus on the positive

but you got here and you didn't!

It's all about how
hard it was to get here,

like let's talk
about the positive.

For someone who wants
it not to be all about her,

she keeps talking about herself.

- My god, I love that store!

Did you guys check out the store?

No.

Fabulous!

Did you see the
the pedicure fish?

- Oh, I didn't see!

- Do you want me
to take you there?

C'mon! I have to show it to you!

Carole seemed really upset

and I wanted to check in on her.

- We need a little break!

This table is like a
game of musical chairs.

- So what's going on?

Nothing.

You started talking
about small planes and

it's so silly.

- And it did make you
reminded you of that awful day.

Yeah.

Anyway.

Here, here.

I mean it's a little

here this was playing.

- I'm just going
to put it out there!

I don't appreciate
being called names!

We're not animals, we're not
white trash,

as I was called last night.

- I Googled it. I didn't
know what white trash was!

- What did it say in Google?
- You Googled white trash?

Oh my god! I can't
believe you Googled that!

- It means someone who's very poor..

- Poor white people who
will go against authority.

And is a slur.

I mean, there's this one
thing you say "Heather's fake"

and then it's another thing
to call someone white trash.

- I mean, for sure!

- You, unlike me,
have this awareness.

You know life is fleeting

and you know that it can rush..

Change the plans.. change is like,
you know, what? Change really is like..

When your husband died three weeks
after your best friend and that's change!

- Your right!

So, I mean, I don't mean to
belittle anyone.

- No, no! You're right!

When your husband
dies, your best friends die..

- Then your whole life changes!

- Then your whole life changes!

When your friend's husband
comes for the weekend..

it doesn't change that much.

Oh my god! No, it's busy!

- Oh, my God! I have
to go back! I feel so bad.

So we got in to the
store or something..

Yeah.

This feel so weird.

You're gonna freak out.

So Cat.. the little fishes are just
eating the calluses of my feet?

- There nibbling!

Am I going to freak?

It's crazy.

This feels really weird.

Really weird.

- So I went to Jamaica
about twelve years ago.

I think we have a bonding
thing, the four of us.

Leave those two
doing what they want.

They'll go to two on
two and didn't invited us.

- Oh, guess what? Tonight they're
going out for dinner with their guys,

so we're on our own.

What?

What you mean they're
going out to dinner?

You didn't know this?

No!

- Oh, she didn't know!

- They're dumping us!

- You didn't know
this new event?

Wait! No!

- They're dumping
us! The four of them.

- Oh, they're having a couple's night?

Is it no one's invited?

- No!

Carole say everybody can come?

No!

They're going the
four of them for dinner,

which is fine who cares what walk..

Okay!

Are we invited?

"We can meet you later"!

So we're not invited?
- Yeah!

We can meet you, later!

This isn't a "fuck you"?

Oh my gosh, she fucked us!

That mean
that's just bullshit!

Like I..

I mean, like I can't even!

The dynamic is so
ridiculous right now!

See?

I told you the dynamic would
change when she got here.

Now I go to the bathroom again!

I've more diarrhea.

Thanks for sharing
as I'm dipping

my lobster in my butter!

- I'm sorry! My stomach
is really getting upset!

- I'm trash! I looked it up.

Coming up

Heather just leave with
Sonja and Ramona?

She stormed off!
She walked home.

Thank you.

What are you guys doing?

We did the fish pedicure!

Oh, you did?

I just heard from the women

that you guys blew me off tonight.

You guys why would
you make a dinner plan

and not talk to anybody about it?

We have been
making plans together!

I told you about it!

I said "What are we
doing for dinner tonight?"

and they said "Oh,
Carole and Aviva

and Reed and Russ are
going on a double date!

And I was like "No one else has invited?"

and they said "No!
No one else is invited!"

Oh, that they're saying that!
- Because they asked you!

And you said "You can meet us after".

I said, "We're going to go to

an early dinner and
if you want to be..

Be with us, because they
wanted to show Aviva the island

and I said "We'll
meet you after dinner".

I'm always the fifth wheel.

- But you're totally welcomed!

- You are totally welcomed!

- You know what? You're
never the fifth wheel with me ever!

I think you should go
and have a nice time!

Well, guess what? Now I'm the
one that doesn't have the guy.

And I'm the only one that has
get your back in the entire trip ever!

Because Aviva you come
here, you come to the island

and all of a sudden the
four of you are going off.

- It's an early dinner!

I know! But why won't
you invite everybody!

Say "Hey, we're going a few
earlier, who wants to come?"

What about me?

I have invited you
to come with us!

- I am so like lost and over this
whole thing to be honest with you.

It's like ridiculous! It's
upsetting! I feel like crying

and I'm going to leave!

Huh?

- What's happening?

- Heather's upset that there is
a double date going on tonight.

Heather.

Oh my god! Heather.

Heather.

Did Heather just leave
with Sonja and Ramona?

She stormed off!
She walked home!

She walked home!

it was like the
vacation from hell.

I'm just really getting fed up!

I left my babies behind,
and my husband, my family,

my business is
cranking and needs me.

For what? Only to spend time
with a bunch of selfish women.

Obviously I was upset that day at lunch

but as bad as I might have
been feeling, I don't want anyone

to feel upset about something
that I may have caused.

- You ran away, very smart!
- Yes, I did.

That was crazy!

- Ah, it was ridiculous.

I've never met more self
centered people in my life.

Honestly, I mean..

Me, me, me..

It's ridiculous! S o i'm
going to do me right now.

I don't want to talk about them.

About them and I don't wanna
talk about double dates or anything..

You know what I realized?

Things do change when
people join on a vacation

and is not..

Only in kind of
selfish way that..

Things just gonna
change and I feel like..

Honestly, like we haven't
spent much time together

and I was really.. I think we..

I was really enjoying the
time we were spending.

But I don't say that lightly
because I don't have a lot of..

I don't make a lot of new
friends, especially girlfriends.

Because I feel like I can
connect with you on that level.

- Totally!

It

- And all that talk of a
small plane, small plane..

Yeah, I saw you!

I didn't get it until you
got up and then I got it!

I'm glad Carole came
down to the beach to find me.

It really meant a lot!

I mean the last person I
need to be upset with is Carole!

I think it was the
combination of the house..

Coming back again in this
completely different life with..

With..

You know, these cucky
women and it just hit me!

- Well, it hits you at
most unexpected times,

when you lose someone that you love.

Hopefully, you know,

whatever happens
tonight for dinner..

- Come with us!
Because I don't..

I'm going to invite everyone!

I just need of Aviva to
tone it down a little bit.

She's a lot for me right now

with them and now coming
in at the same level of them.

Is a lot!

- Should be go for a swim?

You wanna?

My day is quite long.

Oh my god!

And you have your wine shop!?

The wine store, yeah.

- Absolutely Vino
or Absolutely Wine.

Absolutely Wine.

But come have a drink one time.

What did you say? Did
you just invite me for a drink?

Well, you could.

Did you are.. No! Not!
I'm imagining it! Okay!

Because you do the breakfast!

I'm not a morning person.

I'm a night person.

Me too.

- You do?

You didn't definitely neutral.

After work.

After work you like..

You do like..

We'll see.

I knew you liked me!

And between the
salmon and the chicken

you were thinking like a
little Sonja! I know, I know!

So we're supposed to
be going over dinner plans

and there's nobody here.

- Okay!

The dinner tonight was
we're going to Bonito.

But Carole and I have a double
date with Russ and Reed and..

- I can't think of
anything more boring

than being with
your husband tonight.

I can't think of anything more sad..

- You need to be with us!

Yeah, but we have to..
we already made the plans!

- You guys should
go do your thing

and then us girls
should be just girls!

Because we're doing girls' trip.

Is not a girls' trip.
- Yes, it is a girls' trip.

Carole's wants to
see her boyfriend.

- And you're gonna
be with your husband!

Hearing Sonja refer to
this trip as a girls' trip

knowing that she had
brought home at least one man

and has sex with him..

Was just putting
me over the edge.

I'm down here with no date!

I don't want to be with
other people's guys,

I mean.. that's like
bringing sand to the beach!

- I'm sorry that you don't
want to be with Russ and Reed!

- It's a girls' trip! We're meeting
random people on the island!

- So, this is like "girls gone wild"?
- Yes!

Let's call him Mr. Francis..

- So you want to like
to go out with Ramona

and pickup guys
and bring them home

and have sex with them!

I mean, as forty plus years old,
to me it's very immature, Sonja!

We all had to jump through
hoops to make this trip happened!

I had to have my sister
flying from Tennessee

to be with my daughter
by my boiler out..

I have..

You don't need to do a laundry list of
"me, me, me"! I'm tired of "me, me, me"!

- I heard your laundry!

Can you hear my laundry list?

As a girls' trip, is
not imature!

it's called bonding!

- I'm wondering
how do we connect

in two at the morning,

you know, picking
up strange guys

and bringing them
back to the house?

That's when it happens!

Whereas this anger coming from?
- I'm not angry!

Aviva! I thought I knew you!

I'm gonna say something!

Seriously..

I'm hurt, okay?

- So am I!
- Because I told you to trust..

Ramona and I..

- And you know
what? You were wrong!

- Oh, yeah? Really?

Big mistake!

You are the biggest double
dealing person I've ever..

Two face! Oof, you're the worst!
- Oh, really? Wow!

And you are wrong
because I can't trust Ramona!

- Let me tell you something!
My mouth is money!

You fucking call me a double dealer,

you'll see your ass
where it ends up!

What comes out of my mouth,

you could fucking sell it!

I don't bullshit!

I have been around
a long time, bitch!

I'm old, okay?

I'm no young person!

I have a lot of friends!

I have credibility!

I work my ass off!

- You're a great example
for your daughter!

I work my ass off!
- This is a great example for your daughter!

And you know what?

- Change your tone!

Do not speak to me this way!

- Okay, Miss Diva!

You bring your tone down.

Do not say on the double face!

I bared my soul to you!

I told you the truth!

I am freaking amazed with the
material you showed up with here.

Where does this?

I'm not gracious,
I don't love Reed,

I didn't kiss the
ground you walked on!

I thought you would
respect me as a friend!

- And you have to say,

"You know what? I
screwed up and I'm sorry!"

You have to say that..
- I didn't screw up!

I was teasing LuAnn that..

- You cannot do no wrong!
Your this fabulous, over the moon

person with boats and yachts..

You know, the owners
of these restaurants and

your bigger and holier than thou!

Sonja, you're better than
everybody else, right?

And so therefore

you'll probably have
an inability to say,

"You know what, Aviva?

I was insensitive
and I'm sorry!"

- You know what I said to your husband?

- I'm just waiting for you
to say, "You know what?"..

I'm waiting for you to own it!

I own it!

- Own what? That I told your husband

"Thank you so much
for bringing Aviva"?

Can I get a return to our sender?

You know what?
You return to sender!

You and Ramona were not nice.

Yeah, well! I'm going
to call Reed right now

and he should take
this package home!

You're a fucking piece of work!

Jesus.

Coming up

They're boring!

There's just an inelegance

to them when they are drinking.

This is so nice!

And it was almost
not just the four of us.

- Yeah, I invited everyone!

- So what happened?

-The girls are roaring
and and ranting

that this is a "girls' trip",
like "girls gone wild"!

- It's "Old ladies gone wild!"

"Overweight, old
ladies gone wild".

It's going viral!

- You're regal tonight!

You're beautiful,
you're actually..

- A natural state of grace.

You look absolutely
gorgeous. You really do!

We all look great! We're
not hard on the eyes!

- We've only been hard on my nose!

You've been hard on your nose!
- I know!

- I said you looked fine,

I like when you smash into the glass

and come up here all like this
because I can have a moment with you!

That's what happened
with the Ramona and I!

She fell in love with me
when I broke my nose!

I dunno what it was!

Ever since Heather crushed
into the glass and smash her nose,

the curse was broken.

Her and Ramona are in love!

What are we going to do with Aviva?

We have to throw her off a cliff?

Good morning.

Some people are still sleeping.

- How was your night?

It was nice!

Yeah? You guys gotta a good time?

- Quiet.. and in the rest
I went back to his hotel.

I didn't want to come
back to the house.

- So, I don't want any
drama today! Is the last day!

I wanna a massage..

- Hi, Aviva!

- You guys, I'm so sorry I'm
late to come down this morning.

I feel like.. Even though I had not
a drink glass, that I feel hungover!

Which is dehydration.

The massage.. The
masseuses are here!

To up and the back and then
there's manicure, pedicure stations .

- Carole, thank you!

That's great!

My day was just like
"We're just gonna chill".

We're going to get massages.

We are going to get pedicures
and lie by the pool and I think

after the week that we had had it
was really good way to end the vacation.

This is really amazing.

Bonjour, mon cheri!

Ça va?

We leave tomorrow!
You're going to miss us?

- I don't want any situation.

- I know!

I'm thinking to be away for them.

Stressful.

So awful.

Would you mind
if I run downstairs

and put on a bathsuit?

- I'm fine! I'm fine!

Just try to make it and come quick!

It seems like everytime
I leave the girls alone,

a fight breaks out!

I'm like the Gandhi
of the group.

We all know what
happened to Gandhi.

It's a fabulous base, yeah?

He was assassinated.

- I wonder where Lulu is and Heather.

They're having massages.

Oh that's nice!

- You guys want to do
massages after them?

- Were just. I'm
starting to wake up so..

Whatever she
wants to do is fine.

I'm gonna take
a dive in the pool.

You want to take a dip, Aviva?

Yeah.

This is divine.

- Do I have the pedicure first?
- She goes first!

She suggested it, and of course,

I'm always right behind her!

Please, Sonja!

Well, I just brought you..

- Oh my god! I
have a new bruise!

- I dunno what's with
you and the bruises.

I bruise easily!

If you touch me,

I bruise!

And besides, I took a walk
in the garden with Thomas.

So I had a few bruises.

Listen, I'm not going
to the pool because..

The whole thing's
fragmented, you know?

She talks about how we
don't make her feel welcome.

She makes me feel very unwelcome!

Why would I go in the pool?

I know!

She hates me!

I dunno if she hates you!

- She's just like, she's very angry!

She doesn't like you
at all! She's full of anger.

Aviva has just been draining
the energy out of the group!

Everyone feels
that! The heaviness!

The darkness of her
energy is just not good.

Get us out of here.

She wants us to
be all like fawning..

- Fawning over her!

I don't kiss the ground not even to you!

We're very independent,
we never do that.

The only time I kiss the
ground is with Thomas..

when he's humping me
in the back of the garden.

Oh, right, the night after LuAnn, right.

No one's in are really good mood

but Carole really wants
to do sunset drinks

before Russ' concert,
so we're all going to go.

- I went along with
Ramona in Miami,

like for an hour alone,

we just was like "Shopping,
the girls, together"..

And we like shared shared
things with each other.

And so that's why
I'm like flabbergasted!

I wonder if at some point
I should talk her in a way,

to spoke to, I just hope, you like..

at this point that
hurt, I am really..

- Yeah, for sure! You have to!

Am I getting along with Aviva?

I've been keeping
my distance because

she's a different
person in here, Mario!

I don't know who she is!
She's like from the Planet of the Apes!

I'll be civil to her, I'll be
nice, but you know what..

She makes no sense!

We need an exorcism
when we get back!

- Yeah, she's being weird.

I've heard a punching bag.

Well, seems to me she
needs to be mad at someone!

I can't explain or I don't even want

to try to begin to
explain her, you know.

- You're most.. You're a
much stronger person than me!

Aviva call me the "Yacht woman".

The Miss..

Did she tell you that she
was after her again last night?

- No, she didn't!

No, you didn't tell me what happened.

Obviously, she has some
resentment towards me

for having yachts and
private islands or something,

it's not my fault.

We have the beautiful view,
beautiful girl!

Sensational!
- Oh my god, it's beautiful!

- Bon soir! Ça va?

Oh, thank you, sweetie!

Now I'm going to sit the next to Ramona!

This is our first planters
punch of shows.

Oh my god, another toast!

And this one goes

to Aviva!

For getting here.

And surviving!

Thank you, thanks guys.

- Did anyone seen the sunset?

As far as Aviva's concerned,
I'm taking the high road.

I'm being nice
and playing nice.

Are we going to the concert?
- Yeah, I'm trying to organize cars.

Alright! Let's go, girls!

Let's do some rock and roll.

Where's the concert?

It's right on the pier!

Ramona and Sonja we're
supposed to be in the car behind us

but I turned around and
they suddenly we're gone.

- Do you hear the music?
- I can hear the crowd!

Are you excited?

I wasn't going to let it ruin my
night and I was happy to see Russ,

but I was pissed.

It's not cool.

Let's rock!

This is backstage.

Look at your meal!

There's one I'm gonna tell you about..

Aviva.

She has been
totally fake with us..

Totally!

- She is totally bullshit us!

She didn't tell us
she had agourophobia,

or agoraphobia which
inspired her homophobia..

- She has many phobias!

God!

That was so fun! Amazing!

Oh my God! Aviva's
going to come down.

- That was so great.

- Oh, hi girls.

Here we go!

- I'm gonna pack!

Here are us, gotta go pack up.

Dinner is ready. Can
we just sit at the table?

You'll get your girlfriend?

I planned a farewell
dinner to celebrate

our last night in St Barths

but seeing the condition of
Ramona and Sonja are in,

we probably should
have stayed at the concert.

You want to see the
concert you missed?

- No, not right now!

Right now I need to
find two missing shoes

and keyd the safe.

My passports.

- You have all night to
do it! Let's have dinner!

- I don't have all
night! It's ten o'clock!

it's eleven o'clock! I
got get in bed in an hour.

Excuse me?

- This is my party friend!

We eat dinner at eleven
o' clock in St. Barths.

- No, we don't!

I don't dinner at ten o'clock
and you're not my party friend!

- You're the party leader!
You're the party queen.

Don't let me down
on our last night!

Don't do it! Don't do it!

- Or what? Now all of a sudden,
you want to have some fun?

I went to a great concert! I've
settled in, yeah!

- Now she's buzzed?
Now she wants to have fun?

Before you're the buzz kill!

- I didn't drink anything!

Sweet, you're so drunk and I did
not have anything to drink.

- Sweet, I'm never drunk!

- Sweetie!

Denial!
- Sweetie!

I'll be back with a new outfit!

I'm not wearing this to dinner place!

- You don't need another outfit on!

- I'm wearing he same thing..

- Go faster!

This is my favorite color.

- And I also have to find a key!

- If she wants to go
to change her dress..

It's like take what you want.

She doesn't wear or underwear..

- Where did you girls go?

- We really wanted
to come back here

and start packing
and just relaxing

because we've
been having fun a lot,

we just want to relax tonight.

- Beautiful!

- Really nice!

- We've been talking about
this concert for a long time!

It's one of the reasons
we came to St. Barths!

I know!

- I didn't get that memo!

When was that memo given?

That was a whole
reason we're on this trip!

- No, the whole reason we just
wanted to take us to go away..

- Let's just say it was
a couple of reasons!

Ramona got the memo,
she liked the memo..

- Oh, great!
- Is your boyfriend playing?

- And Russ' playing.

- Really?

Oba!

She conveniently lost the memo

when it didn't fit
her drinking agenda.

She knew exactly why
we were going to St. Barths.

- What a cool guy and we
know so many people in common

just from the music
industry and stuff!

It's an amazing business!

- Oh god, I gotta go
find my key! I'll be back.

Seriously, I gotta find the key!

- I'm boring her!
That's the problem.

She's so not interested in this at all!

Tony, seriously! Tony! I need
to find my key for the safe, okay?

The key for my passport.

No, the passaport!

Apparently, Ramona's off on
a one woman scavenger hunt.

And they're boring out
there! They are so boring!

I just have to leave!

They're boring!

Boring!

Is that my dress?

- I need to just go tell them,

so there's no misunderstanding..

- Honey, they know dinner is served.

- I'm gonna call them.

Carole did make
this great invitation..

and has been taken
care of us all week

and tonight was a big night

with Russ and they don't come!

- Hey, you guys.

- Hey, honey!

My guy.. gave Ramona my
key.. go here to goes to my..

Okay. dinner is..

Dinner's on the table, so..

- Well, you left us at lunch!

What you mean?

- In all sincerity, I have to pack.

Because they can't have fun..

You left for like the whole
lunch, when LuAnn treated us!

You and Aviva!

And Aviva is not like
my best friend right now,

so I don't really give a shit!

- Honey, I left you
because I was having a..

Really? You really
wanna know why I left you?

- I don't care!

- You didn't see
that I was upset?

You didn't see that I was upset?

- You were upset?

- With all you
guys talking about

small planes and crashes?

- You were upset?

We weren't talking
about plane crash!

- Yes, you did!

- You were upset?

Oh, I didn't know!

And now I am in shock!

- And now we screwed up.

There's just an unelegance

to them when they are drinking

and partying and it's not..

it's fun for an hour!

At some point..

It's just like they
fall off the cliff.

It's okay! I don't really
want to rehash it.

- Well, I don't remember
that! Do you remember that?

I mean you don't
know everything.

I didn't know!

- All I know is I have to pack!

I think that Sonja is a bit
of a legend in her own mind.

She reminds me a little
bit of Anna Nicole Smith

in that she married a much
older, very wealthy man,

it slipped through
her fingers and

now she's on a big
spiral downwards.

- I mean, a little of
animosity in the house is fun!

I agree!

Everything in moderation
but it has been six days

of on and on..

And now, you know,
responsibility.. packing early

when it was like the

the highlighted part of the
trip, the finale, with live music!

And they wanted!
"No, we're gonna pack!"

Why would they come with that!

Unless "packing" is
code for coming home

and getting completely wasted..

- No, but they shit
for me other than you.

- Listen, here's what I know..

I don't know!

- This is super fun!

- This is fun!

- Actually, I'm really
enjoying myself

just for sitting here,

the wind in my back..

The warm weather..

Eating incredible food
and being in St Barths!

And going to see Russ tonight!

I couldn't care less
about everything else.

I'm just happy to be here

and I'm so happy
to go home tomorrow too.

I can't wai to get
back to my kids!

I found my pass and
the key to the save!

I was like freaking out

because I always
kept the key to the safe

in the top drawer my lingerie..

and I was in a rush to pack

and I normally organize
everything beautifully

and packed beautifully..

I just threw everything in my..

and then I realized I lost
the key and the passports..

- But you found it!

I did.

Oh! Lady in red.

Oh, she changed for dinner!

- She dressed up for us.

Coming up

I will tell you, Jean Baptiste, he's making
something with chocolate!

- He's making a souffle for us ..

- Jean Baptiste!

Are you going to
sit in it or ride it?

- Lu, what are you drinking?

Martini?
- No, I don't know..

Who's this is?

- Hand it over.

- Is that yours?

Is that mine?

It's Carole's.

- It's smells silly but
I'm taking a taste.

Your hair looks good.

You think?

- LuAnn's kinda you own a drink.

- No, but I'm having champagne, honey!

I'm having a champagne.

- What champagne?

My usual.

I already had a bottle.

Ramona can drink all day

Sonja cannot!

And she can't make
it through the evening!

Is anyone want to
go skinny dipping?

Why not skinny dipping? I mean..

I had one idea!

I really think we should go

swimming

and anyone who
wants to come with me..

Can come with me!

- I'm not being..
I'm not going in!

I can't go with this skirt!

I can't believe you
three just did this.

And I can't believe you and I
are standing here saying "Hmm".

I'm not ruining my dress!

I'm not in the mood!

Even Aviva went there!
Are you kidding me?

I saw Sonja's nipples and
vagina so much on that trip,

I thought I should start
petting and feeding them.

Ramona was being
a stick in the mud

so Heather and I hatched a little plan.

Can you get my
glass on the table?

Heather! Can you bring
that over there for me?

Oops!

Throwing Ramona into that pool

made this trip and all it's
crazy drama worth every minute.

It was heaven.

Thank you, you asshole!

You are a little bitch!

You need to get
laid a little more!

Next time on The Real
Housewives of New York City

What's up with the baby thing?

Moving forward! Moving forward!

LuAnn either is trying to
sell me on the story that

everything's perfect

or she's trying to
convince herself.

I'm doing everything I can
to let him know how much

this relationship means to me!

I'm terrified of losing Jacques!

- You're being me,
me, me! Like, enough!

You have to just say
your piece and let it go!

I've had a lot of
disappointments in my life

I don't insult people
and you know what?

Maybe she'd paid for her
own education, she used it!

I find having somebody in
front of me on a spiral downward

to the extent that you
are going so sad to watch!