The Real Housewives of Dallas (2016–2021): Season 5, Episode 1 - Episode #5.1 - full transcript

- Welcome to Southfork Ranch,

we're doing a shot.

- Oh, my God.

- Brandi's dead.

- Who killed you?

- I don't know. I'm dead.

- This is how we do it
- in Dallas.

- Woo.

- This is a runway walk.

- How have we been
- handling the coronavirus?

- I think D'Andra
- is about to have an orgasm.



- Oh, my God, I love it.

We've all taken this quarantine

very seriously.

Damn it.

- Come on.

- Got to say, it's been really
- nice having a doctor around.

- She's sweet, and I'm sour.

- Is it?

- You're working every day,

- your job is a little
- different than what we do.

- I'm better
- than Doogie Howser.

- All she does is give orders.

- No fighting,

and be honest,



I know that's really

hard in this group.

- You're very two-faced.

- I'm not two-faced.

- That's a lie.
- That's a lie.

- We've been getting along,

as we've been quarantining.

- Am I in middle school again?
- Hell yeah.

- Give me my Birkin, that...

That's my Rose Sakura Birkin.

- Because I sure
- as hell feel like it.

- You think
- I'm an opportunistic person

- That does things
- for personal gain.

- You're darn right I do.

- I want to give them

the childhood that I never had.

- I feel like you

do not take me seriously.

- Probably true.

- Everyone wears a mask.

- I literally just sh... myself.

- I may not be the type

of friend that you expect,

but I'm doing the best I can.

- She's innocent,
- but then I'm targeted?

I contemplated suicide.

- That is so mean.

- Oh.

- Whenever she drinks,
- she flies off a handle.

- I'm afraid
- what's gonna happen next.

- This world really
- could be coming to an end.

- I - you so much,

I'm... ing done.

I'm done with it.

- I don't need your approval,

I need you to get out of my way.

- If you take a shot at me,

it better be tequila.

- I can save your life,

but not your reputation.

- Take it from me.

A sinner is just a saint

who keeps on trying.

- Dallas girls

are sugar and spice,

but I'm still working on nice.

- I love to be pampered,

but I'm nobody's pet.

- Oh, my God, Chunk pooped

on our patio, Court.

Can I suck it up, you think?

- How about I pick it up, I
- think it's a better idea, yeah.

- Watch this,

Cruise, oh, my God.

- You're just an expert
- at blowing now, it's great.

- I know.
- I'm a professional blower.

- Practice makes perfect.

- The cut's not
- my age group, but...

- What do you mean?

- Well,
- it's a little bit older.

- You're half a hundred.

- I look exactly like you,
- it's kind of scary.

- Let me tell you something,
- yeah, you do.

- Right?
- Okay. You ready?

- I'm ready.

- Here comes the Queen of Sheba.

- Oh, my God, mother.

That's too much.

- Join video. Got it.

Kary,

Kameron, how's quarantine?

- It's rough, oh, my gosh,

we're all stir-crazy.

- Oh, there's D'Andra.

There she is, hey.

- Oh, there's Brandi.

- Brandi, can you hear us?

- Brandi?

- I think you're on mute.

Brandi, you have to put

your phone off mute.

- I thought
- I was the worst one -

- Who has gained
- the Quarantine 15

- Because I think
- I maybe one of them.

- I think

I've gained 10 pounds.

- You have not.

- D'Andra, have you been

wearing makeup in quarantine?

- Of course, I have.

- Speaking of kind of coming
- out of quarantine,

- I was wanting
- to get everyone together

And invite you to my house this

weekend for a pool party,

- it's gonna be amazing.
- Who's in?

- I'll bring tequila.

- Are you gonna do
- like a temperature check

When we get there?

- I'm gonna give you
- a rectal temperature check

And be like bend over.

- Ew.

- Cruisey, will you let me

make your sandwich?

- Hilton is gonna do her own.
- Okay.

- You guys wanna know
- a secret that I always do,

- But I never
- tell you guys that I do.

- Come on.
- What?

- When I get the peanut
- butter and jelly on the knife,

- But I never tell you,
- but I lick the knife,

And then, when I do,

I cut the sandwich.

- Oh, my God.
- Eww.

- No.

- I can't see that.

- You didn't see it, too?

When the pandemic started,

we explained to the children

that there was a disease

that was from a bat,

and someone ate a bat.

- I'm not eating peanut butter
- and jelly sandwiches again.

No.

Not from this lady over here.

- They were very concerned
- that someone

Was out there eating bats.

- But I said to them,
- there's a lot of people

That like very unique foods.

Oh, peanut butter

is so good. Hmm.

- Mom.
- What?

- No, I'm making an

Oreo sandwich, are you silly?

- What scares me the most about

coronavirus is the unknown.

People could turn into zombies,

and you... we don't know.

I mean,

we must have been really bad

to deserve a year like this.

God is not happy with us.

There's not very much jelly.

- Yeah. Like,

we should put more Oreo.

- Okay. Are you excited

for Fanci coming home?

- Dad.
- I am so excited,

You guys miss Fanci?

- You think she's gonna
- come home potty trained?

- I mean,

she wasn't when she left.

- Towards the end of last year,

Louis passed away,

and I was devastated.

I waited six months

until I was able

to even think of another dog.

- I just think you spend
- all this money,

- And they're gonna come in,
- and like ruin the,

- The training,
- you're gonna spoil it.

- But if he gives rules like
- don't wear the dog in a purse,

Are you gonna put the dog

in a purse all day or...

- Why, you can put
- a dog in a purse,

Probably not gonna be bad.

Louis passed away

about eight months ago.

But here's what you don't know.

I was in New York for

New York Fashion Week,

and I get a call from Court

that he found Louis dead

on the floor.

I later found out, Court forgot

to give him his medicine.

I immediately blamed

Court for Louis' death.

But we had an autopsy done,

and they did not know

why Louis died.

- I just wanted to be there,
- and to hold his paws,

As he took his last breath.

I feel like Court took

that away from me

because I wasn't able

to do that.

I have been able to move on from

blaming Court for Louis' death.

I have moved on from...

I don't think

I'll ever move on.

- Fanci.

- Fanci.

Fanci.

- I can't... I don't think
- you're supposed

- To be excited when they come,
- you're supposed to stay chill.

- Hello.

- My God, my baby.

Oh, my goodness.

- Oh, my goodness, my mom, your

mom is back, your mom is back.

- Kam, I don't think that's

how it's supposed to work.

- We missed her so much.

Honey, you graduated

from puppy school.

When I brought Fanci home,

she was wild.

- She would bite my tennis shoe,
- and make me drag

Her down the street.

Fanci, did you do this?

- She would potty
- everywhere she wanted,

No concern, no remorse.

- Look how excited
- she is to see us.

- Kam, aren't you supposed to
- not greet her when she comes in?

- Was that okay?

- We're gonna cover that.
- Oh, okay.

Louis did whatever he wanted.

With Fanci, I wanna show her,

mommy is not a pushover.

I didn't talk to you about this,

but I got a doggy bjorn.

- Is that for when

she can't walk anymore?

- I just thought
- it'd be so fun to like go

In a walk with her in my pouch.

- Well, let's, let's find out
- if that's a good idea or not.

- I always give people a hard
- time to have the strollers.

- Oh, we have one.
- We have a stroller.

- My favorite thing to say is,

- I'm so sorry about
- your dog's legs.

- You know,
- I hope they get better.

- Dogs wanna walk.
- Yeah.

- Fish swim,

birds fly, dogs walk.

- So we're gonna cover
- a lot of stuff like that.

I'm happy to be here today.

- Thank you for letting me
- have Fanci,

But this intervention is needed.

What happened at the front

door is the problem.

"Oh, my God, my baby"

all that stuff.

We can't continue to create

that type of energy around her,

- and build that type
- of relationship with her.

I do have a schedule for you.

- Okay.
- Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God, she's so sweet,
- look at her.

She's looking at us.

- Down.

- She like,
- looks at us with her eyes.

And like puts a spell on you.

- We're gonna have to have

a little bit more self-control.

- So, it's not
- sorority rush every time

- She sees her - That's right.

We call it impulse control.

So I'm asking that of her,

I'm gonna ask it of you.

- Is it true that
- like people start looking

Like their dog like over time?

- You know,
- like that saying, like,

Oh, you start

looking like your dog?

- I hope so. I hope

your hair looks like this.

So, given your history,

this is Fanci's

accountability schedule.

- No way.

- All the house

rules are right here.

- Look at her schedule.

So I can do the elliptical

and she could do treadmill

right next to me.

- Absolutely.

- Mommy-daughter workout.

- Why don't we get started

with the treadmill?

- Okay.
- Okay. Let's do it.

- All right. Fanci show off,

good girl. Look at that.

- So I'm gonna hold
- the leash at first.

- Okay.

- There she is,

so she's smelling it

because she's not used

to the amount of-oh, no.

Fanci, you're not supposed

to do that.

- It's literally just
- the presence of Kameron.

- Right.

- You said
- she's potty trained.

- You made me look bad, Fanci.

- No. It's not you,

it's someone else.

- Court thinks I
- cannot train Fanci,

Are you kidding me, Court?

I trained you,

you just don't know it.

- Way to make
- your debut, Fanci.

- Oh, my goodness. You're

doing so good, look at you.

- Coming up.

- I was ready to like

end my life.

- You made one mistake,

Brandi, one mistake.

- Ready to see your friends?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- It's kind of boring, sitting
- at home for two months, right?

- Hasn't it been three months?

- Oh, yeah. It's actually
- been like three months.

- I miss school.
- You miss school?

- Y'all ready

to go back to school?

- No.
- Really?

Because I want y'all to go back

to school, I will lose my mind.

Yeah? Okay.

- I think they have a Slip
- 'N Slide or something

That we're gonna do.

- So the kids and I,
- how I kept them entertained,

While being in quarantine is,

we've done home experiments.

One, two, three.

- Oh, God.

- We have an archery set

in our backyard

because if the world comes

to an end,

- and the Hunger Games
- happens,

- I'm gonna have two kids
- that are ready to go.

- We're moving this - out.

- Oh, my God, it's not gonna

fit, we got to push it out.

- That way.
- Wait, angle it sideways.

- This is so heavy.

- The only game that I've
- really played with the kids

- Is hide and seek, and I let them
- hide for a really long time.

- I just don't want

it to pop.

I feel like we're not moving.

- Hello.

- Oh, they're here.
- Come over here,

We need help.

- You got this.

Push like you're having a baby.

- Oh, my gosh.
- Oh.

- We almost have it.

- Hi.

- Hey, how are you?

- Okay. This is a Corona-free
- zone, we're filming a TV show,

We've been tested

like a million times.

I mean, honestly.

- God, I miss you.
- We miss you, too.

- Sometimes our masks are on,
- sometimes they're off,

So keep your tweets to yourself,

we are very safe,

nobody's getting a Corona.

- You guys wanna get
- the baby oil and put it on here?

Yeah, put that right there,

yeah. Good job.

- Did you already used
- that whole bottle of that?

- Okay. Slide.

One, two, three.

- Go.

Oh, sh...

- This probably
- looks very sexy.

Oh, sh...

- Go. Brandi, behind you.

This is really bad.

- Shoe shine.

- That was awesome.

- Are you ready to have a drink?
- I'm good.

- Oh, my God, thank

you for coming over. Cheers.

- Oh, my gosh, thank
- you for having us, this is fun.

- I know, I miss

hanging out with you.

- Hello?

- Nobody's gonna help me,
- I'm gonna drop your food

On the floor.

- Oh, hi, darling, how are you?

- How are you?
- I'm okay, honey, how are you?

Good. You look so pretty.

Is this new?

- No, it's old actually.

- Oh, I've never seen that.

- You know, we have to change
- our dinner plan,

- So I had to wear
- an outdoor outfit.

- I can't believe it.

- I love your earrings,
- where did you get those?

- They're Oscar de la Renta.
- Are they new?

- Uh-uh.
- They're a darling.

- No. I'm recycling.

- So I can take pay
- for my business.

- Oh, my gosh,

I'm so excited, recycling.

- That's right.

Before coronavirus,

my skin care business

was doing phenomenal.

- Just got a paycheck,
- I was so excited,

The first of this month,

and I haven't had a paycheck

in a while so...

- If you've got
- your first paycheck,

- I guess that means the company
- is starting to turn around.

- It's doing amazing.

- Then coronavirus hit,
- and everything came

To a screeching halt.

- Okay. So what I did for you,
- since we couldn't get

A Bob's tonight because

the governor has all

these orders in place,

I brought Bob's to you.

- D'Andra was working

so hard to keep the company

going I started 25 years ago.

- And she said, "Mother, I don't
- know what I'm gonna do."

- And I said, - "You know what?

- I'm gonna give you
- a hundred thousand dollars."

- I know it got
- you over that hump.

And I think things

are getting better now.

- Okay. Let's go out, and have
- a glass of champagne and...

- Oh, I love this.
- Now, that's new.

- That's new.

- Lordy, help me.

- One thing.

- See, at the beginning,

D'Andra had not proved to me

- that she was really
- gonna work hard.

- I may have to go
- and, you know,

- Get it... separate my company,
- and get an investor,

- But I just
- want you to know that.

- I'd love for you to do that.

- You can go out here and sell
- on the street, if you want to.

I don't really

give a rip what you do.

Your mother is not

gonna be your bank.

It's not gonna happen,

so good luck, honey.

Her dad would be so proud

of her now if he was alive.

Because she

has changed that way.

She's taken full responsibility

of that company to make it work.

- I'm glad we're out, and I'm

tired of staying at home.

- You won't believe what I did.

I got Tiffany, because she's so

short.

Right there is a pillow.

- Okay.

- Oh, there she is.
- Oh.

- Hi. Here comes

my little girl.

- Well,
- I had to do a little change

- Of the outfit because
- we're outside.

- - oh, my gosh.

It's good to see you, boo.

- Good to see you.
- Hi, darling.

- Hi.

- You look so cute.

Oh, my gosh.

- I just came from work.

- Did you... did you work today?

- I worked all day.

I was in the OR.

Then I went home to take my

decontamination shower

- because I just feel kind
- of gross.

- Uh-hmm.

- Oh. I feel like a queen.

- Would you like some champagne?
- Oh, you are a queen.

No. You're the queen.

- One day, my mother
- came in, and said,

"Oh, D'Andra, I met

the guru of anesthesiology."

- She reminded me

a lot of my personality.

She's intelligent.

She's beautiful. I love her.

- That's why she's

the favorite daughter.

- Oh, I'm so glad to have you.

- Thank you.

You guys had some lunch?

Oh, you started already.

- I started without you.

- Thank you for having me.

- Tiffany is the smarter,

less chunky daughter.

- Oh, yeah. She's...

- Probably because she doesn't

sit around and eat donuts.

- Mother.
- You know?

- How's work going?
- I mean, how's the hospital?

Are you at capacity?

- We are not yet at capacity.

But we don't want

to get to that level.

- You know, there's like green,
- yellow, and red,

And I would say we're yellow.

- Uh-hmm.

- Okay. I don't know
- if I told you.

I got a call from Kameron

the other day.

She invited me to her garage

sale. You knew about those?

- She mentioned it

to me very briefly.

You wanna go together?

- Yes.
- I'll come pick you up.

- Do you know
- who's gonna be there?

- Uh-uh.

- Have you met Stephanie?

- Uh-hmm.

Travis and I serve

on the board of directors

for the family place.

- Of course, you do.
- Oh, my goodness. Yeah.

- Smart people.

- So have you ever met Brandi?

Do you know Brandi?

- Yeah. I mean, I know her.

She seems super fun.

I mean, she's got her hands

full with her three kids.

- Have you seen the video?

- Yeah.

- You look so good.

- Thank you.

- I feel like you're
- in a good place, I can tell.

- I mean,

I feel like everything

that's been going on in this

world has been so crazy.

And I'm not gonna lie, like

everything with all the racist

stuff, like it's just... it's

kind of triggered a little bit.

It's like kind of brought me

a little bit back to that.

- Girl.

- About three and a half years
- ago, I made a video,

And posted it

on my Instagram Story.

The video was of me making

fun of my squinty eyes.

Oh, everybody ask me.

What Asian I am because

of my eyes, they squinty.

I understand that I hurt people,

and honestly,

it was stupid and ignorant.

- I feel horrible about it,

and it's awful,

and I know that she didn't mean

to do anything to hurt anyone.

I adore Brandi.

We have fun together.

- She's one of the funniest people
- I've ever met in my life.

- She is.

- I mean it was in poor taste.

- I don't think she had

any ill-intent in her heart.

She's not

that kind of person.

I think you're gonna like her.

- I did it in front of my
- children, it's horrible,

And I, I wanna be a good example

for my children,

and I was wrong.

- Your kids know
- you're a good person, girl.

- The reaction of people was,

you know, to cancel me,

that I was a horrible person,

a horrible mother.

I couldn't say

I was sorry enough.

I was wrong in that moment.

I'm like, I'm ashamed of that.

I went away for treatment

because I was suicidal.

I had so much guilt and shame,

that I just...

I needed help.

I was willing to like end

my life for,

because I didn't...

- I felt like
- that's what I should do.

- Brandi, no. No.

Never, never, never.

- You made one mistake, Brandi.
- One mistake.

- I will tell you that I

actually have dealt with racism,

being an immigrant

and learning English

when I was six years old,

- and my parents
- had to deal with it.

- But I don't, for one minute,
- think that Brandi

Had any hate in her heart

towards Asians.

- Or anybody else.
- I don't believe that.

- I know her. I know she's... I
- mean, she's a Christian.

She knows that what

she did was wrong.

Don't you agree with me, mom?

- Yes.

- It was a moment in time

where you learn a big lesson,

and you change your life, right?

- Don't you think?
- Oh, yeah. For sure.

I'm extremely sorry

for my actions,

- and the pain
- that I caused people,

Like I... I'm putting

that pain back on myself,

and I'm ashamed,

and I'm sorry.

- I'm so thankful for you.
- Oh, my God, girl. I love you.

I... you're my... you're my sister.

I love you.

- I love you, too. Thank you.

- Coming up.

- I have a gobbler.

- I've got a gobbler, too.

- What?
- Yeah.

- Let's look
- at our vaginas later.

Got it.

- Hi, guys.

Oh, my goodness.

It's really cramped. Wow.

There's a lot of stuff.

- People are gonna think
- I'm crazy.

- They're gonna be like,
- "You're the crazy neighbor

- That's obsessed with pink."
- Oh, my gosh.

- Where should we... where
- are we gonna do

The lemonade stand, babe?

- Just right out there.

- Oh, it... no, we can't

have it that close to people.

- No. But that's how
- are you gonna sell people.

- That's location,
- location, location.

- But that's too close. But...
- It's great.

- I know, babe,
- but that's too close to people.

- We need to put it
- may be right over here.

- Okay. That's fine.

- Oh, my pink tree.

- Your mom told me
- to sell the pink tree.

- Good.

- February, March,

we were under contract

to sell my house,

and we were under contract

to get my dream home.

We're like, you know what?

- Let's do a garage sale
- before we move.

And then, COVID hit,

our buyer freaked out,

and then, he pulled out.

We had to cancel the movers

Are you gonna be sad?

- It's pink. No.

- Maybe I shouldn't sell it.
- No. Don't sell her.

- Oh, boy.
- I don't know.

I've had this garage sale

planned for three months.

My house is currently

on the market.

We're doing it.

- I don't know how
- that got in here.

- Daddy just apparently
- doesn't want this...

- Oh, we're not selling it.
- No.

My mother goose.

When I was a little girl, they

would read me stories at night.

Maybe I should put her inside.

Look, there's your training

wheels, baby.

That is a dog ramp.

- Right. Are you selling it?

- No.

- In order to get this
- dream house,

Even if it stays available,

Court said I have to sell

my current house.

So now, we need a buyer quick.

- Babe, I'm gonna
- keep my mother goose.

- That's ridiculous.

- Kam. Hi, gorgeous.

- Girl.
- Is this your outfit?

- Oh, my God.
- I'm so embarrassed.

- I'm not even dressed yet.
- I need to go through

- My workout outfit on.
- I can't wait.

- This is gonna be
- the funnest garage sale ever.

- You go finish fluffing up,
- and I'll be out here working.

- Okay. Okay. I'm gonna go get
- my clothes on,

- I'll be right back.
- You too. She go, right now.

- All right, sweetie. So glad.

- We're gonna go
- to the lemonade stand, guys.

Wow. That's so many people

in line.

- Mom, we need
- to put our mask on.

- Wait. You can't
- get COVID either, baby.

There you go.

Now, now you're safe.

Now, you're safe.

- We got five more.

- Oh, my gosh.
- Hi, girl.

- Okay. The pink princess

is having a garage sale.

- I know.
- I had to come,

See it for myself.

- There's a lot
- of stuff over there.

- They're all like one

and two dollars, right?

Oh, my gosh.

- She's looking
- at the Range Rover.

- So, a hundred dollars with
- no battery? It doesn't work?

- Wait. It has a battery.

It charges with this thing.

- It looks expensive.

This is a garage sale, Kameron.

- This isn't an estate sale.

- Oh, look, girl.

Oh, my gosh.

- Who is this?
- I love it.

- Is this Rodeo Drive.

- Oh, my God. It's like
- the welcoming community.

- Okay. I'm gonna
- put the top up.

- That's a situation.

- That is what it is.

- I don't understand why Kameron

is having a garage sale.

- It's not like
- she needs the money.

- Come and shop for pink.

- Besides, are garage sales
- even legal in our neighborhood?

I don't think so.

- I'm so excited to see you.
- Hey.

Thanks for inviting us.

- This is my first garage sale

in a long time. Hi.

- I met Tiffany through

some of my mutual friends.

She's very direct.

- How much for the Range Rover?

- She's incredibly intelligent.

- I mean, can you... have
- you seen her resume?

- She's like a baby genius.

- Kameron, is that for sale?
- What is that?

- Oh, yeah, you want it?
- It's a pink tree.

- For how much?

- That should be 300.

- Three hundred?

- This is so custom.

I bought this wholesale $10,000.

It's Swarovski Crystal.

- I love it.

- Hey, that looks like
- it'll fit me?

- Forty-five dollars?
- Yeah.

- Girl, it's originally 600.

- This was Cruise's
- baby diaper bag.

- Oh, how cute.
- Oh, my God.

- I got this in Santorini.

- That is cute.

- Take that back.

- Cary.
- Oh, my gosh.

You look so cute.

- You're - I love you.
- I like your mask. Hi.

- Hi, I'm Jennifer.
- Stephanie. Nice to meet you.

- So nice to meet you.

- I love... oh.
- Here's a face shield.

- So we can see
- your beautiful face.

- Oh, I love this.

- Yeah.
- Okay. This is awesome.

- Oh, Stephanie is here.

- Hey, honey.
- Hi, girl. So good to see you.

- Good to see you, too.

This is awesome.

- Oh, yeah.
- I love this.

- Last year when I
- did not show up to staff,

Kameron threw a big fit.

- Brandi was saying

she's not attending,

and I knew right away,

Stephanie is gonna say,

at a few minutes later,

I'm next.

- I could
- have rearranged things.

- So obviously
- you don't believe me.

The Corona is not as bad

as Kameron Westcott

- would be if I did not show up.
- I know this.

- This is crazy.
- Have you met Tiffany before?

- Yes. How are you?

- Good to see you.

- It's good to see you.

- Good to see you.

- Thank you.

- How long have you
- and Kameron known each other?

- So I went

to high school with Court.

And they've been

together 15 years,

so I've known her 15 years.

- Well, I'm having

a get together Saturday.

- Perfect.
- I would love for you to come,

- Same with you, Tiff.
- Yeah.

- If you're available.
- I've got no plans.

- I'm going.

- Bathing suit cover up,
- like flip-flops.

- You all know
- I can't swim, right?

- Like at all?
- No.

- That's okay.
- We're gonna be there. Okay.

I have like food and drinks.

I'm excited.

- And I get to meet Brandi.
- I can't wait.

- Yeah. She'll be there.
- She's adorable.

- I can already tell
- you guys are gonna get along.

- Because she's so fun.
- I wish she was here right now

- Because this would be...
- Hilarious.

- Like, yeah. She would
- love it. She would love it.

- Yeah.

Yeah.

- I'm excited.
- It's gonna be so much fun.

- And I can't wait,
- a girls' night.

- Coming up.

- I made a very ignorant,

insensitive choice.

- What should we do now?

- We finish

one of three puzzles.

- Can I do some?

- Yeah. You can help.

- Oh.
- Those are almost done.

Maddie, this puzzle is for eight

year olds and above,

- but you're doing
- pretty good on it.

I think you're an

advanced puzzle master.

When his tail wags

that means he's happy.

- Hanging out with you,

babies, and mom.

- Okay. What kind
- of things make mommy happy?

- Not go to work.

- Not going to work.

- That is true.

- I met my husband, Daniel,

in the club, like

When I was 23 years old,

which is also the year

that I attained my MD,

I went from first grade,

no speak English,

to graduating Cornell

when I was 19, top 10%,

to MD,

at the age of 23.

- I'm better than

Doogie Howeser.

Let's go in your room,

and we'll read,

and then, we can do homework.

- It's not boring, Chloe.

- You have to learn,
- so you can grow up to be smart.

- Please.

- We already read

that like 16 times.

- Sixteen times.

- Okay.

Mama is gonna read this

to you

because it's about

a famous scientist.

People like to ask me, like,

- "Oh, do twins run in
- your family?"

I'm like, "No. My ovaries

are just overachievers."

Every ounce of me

is an overachiever.

Marie.

- Ma-what?

- Ma-what? See, you can't

read cursive, right?

It's weird.

Curie.

Yes, I'm a tiger mom.

I would be insulted

if you said that I wasn't.

They won a Nobel Prize

for their research.

Marie became the first woman

to receive this honor.

- And did you get that?

- No. Mommy

did not get a Nobel Prize.

- Did daddy get it?

- Oh, yeah, daddy's definitely

not getting a Nobel Prize.

When I was a child, I was

basically told by my father,

"You will make straight A's."

- I did not ask - my father,

- "Well, what happens
- if I get a B?"

No. And I never found out

because I never got a B.

- She watching.

- Yeah, this is
- my rainbow watch.

- Give it to me now.

- No.
- When they grow up?

- When you grow up,

whoever

has a higher GPA...

- What is a GPA?

- Oh.
- Whoa.

- How is it - that I can keep

A trauma patient

alive during surgery,

and I cannot

make macaroni and cheese?

Explain to me, babe.

- This is great. I love the red.

- Yes. So the whole-
- I love the hay.

- Yeah, the whole theme is
- really coming out

- With, you know, the hay-
- Yeah, it's so good.

It's gonna be so Texas.

- I think we have everything
- for the drinks.

- Plenty - of tequila, right?

- We have a lot of tequila.
- Okay, good.

- I am so excited
- for this party.

God knows we all need a drink.

- It'll be casual, but fun and-
- Yeah, that's what I want.

- Yeah. Okay.
- I wanna people to feel

- Really comfortable
- like they're at home.

- Yeah.
- Babe,

I narrowed it down

from five swimsuits

to these two.

- I like the white one,

- but the black one
- is fine, too.

- Babe, - that's not helpful.

- I wish I was this tiger.

- Hi.
- We're just laying here,

- And I was gonna make
- them help me

Choose what to wear.

- Yes, and I just
- don't want you to be nervous

About coming to my house

because, uh, I got...

- I got a really good feeling
- about it.

- Yeah, I haven't really seen

anybody but you.

- I was honestly
- I'm just a little worried

About how the energy would be.

It'll be interesting

to see how it goes.

- Yeah. I mean,

it's gonna be really,

really good group of the girls.

- Thank you.

- Hey, girl.
- Oh, sh...

I thought that door

just opened by itself.

- Hello, hello.

- Hi.

- Oh, my gosh.

You're a little cougar.

- Hi, good to see you.

- Hi, girls.
- Oh.

- Hi, everyone.

- Hey, hello, hello.

- Oh, my God.
- You guys haven't met.

- This is Jen.
- Hi, Brandi. I'm Jennifer.

- Nice to meet you.
- So nice to meet you.

- I'm a hugger, yeah.
- Me too.

- Hello.

- Hello.

Where is everybody?

- Hello. Hi.

Oh, my God.

- Coming up.

- Hello.

- Hi. Oh, my gosh.

You guys are so pretty.

Hi, gorgeous.

- Oh, my goodness.

- I didn't bring my post checkup

because of COVID -

- It's so good to see you,
- now I'm so excited.

- This is like the most human

activity I've had

- in a really long time.
- Right?

- I just feel like this weird

antisocial person

- who doesn't know how
- to have a conversation anymore.

- Do you know what I mean?
- Yeah.

- You are so good.
- Yeah.

- We are drinking

Kary's famous margaritas.

- Oh.
- You have to have one.

- I think all the tequila
- I'm going to drink

Is gonna kill any viruses.

That's my new motto.

Drink tequila, no Corona.

- I have no idea.

- Oh, I made like 23,000.

- Is that - - What did you sell?

Because there was like a dollar,

- five dollars, two dollars.
- All my clothes.

- Like, listen.
- I need to have a garage sale.

- Ladies,
- do you guys wanna eat?

- Yes.

- I'm so hungry.

- We decided we're gonna -
- Stephanie, you're - Kameron,

- You're out there at the end.
- Are these assigned seats?

- And then this is Brandi.

- And that's Jennifer.
- Jennifer.

- Perfect. Thank you.
- Okay.

- Yay.

- Situation.

- Please say situation

- 900 times and then I'll get...
- I know. She will.

- ...naked
- and jump into the pool.

- Oh, yes.
- Really?

- I do feel like I look
- better naked.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- I'm with you, Red.
- That's what I tell my sons-

- If it wasn't
- for the drippy parts,

- I'd, like, run around
- nude all the time.

- What are drippy parts?

- Like the-

- Your vagina.

- My vagina doesn't drip.

- Speak for yourself.

- Okay.

- I have a gobbler.

- What?

- I got a gobbler too.

- Yeah.
- Oh, wow.

- What's a gobbler?

- Okay, so you know

like a turkey?

- Huh?

- Yeah, that's your vagina.

- I didn't know
- you're talking about it.

- Yeah, let's look
- at our vaginas later.

- Eww.

- Nowhere in my human

anatomy class

did I learn

the term "gobbler."

That is not a scientific term.

- No.

- Gobble, gobble.

- Oh, my God. What? No.

- Oh, my God. They're checking
- the red carpets out.

- I have to go watch.
- That is like...

What is going on?

- This is not for real.
- Maybe that's just something

- Redheads do,
- show each other their vaginas.

I don't know.

- Our vaginas are twins.
- Yeah.

- We're matching.

- Oh, my God.

Okay, hers is a little... mine's

a little orange.

- Yes.
- Oh, my God. I love it.

Woo!

- This conversation

has completely devolved.

- We have matching vaginas.

- She had, like-

wait, wait-

- There's never been a ginger

that I haven't liked or loved.

- Thank you guys
- so much for coming.

I love having you guys.

- It's been quite the situation
- being in home.

I think it really makes you

appreciate friends, and

- what's really important in life.
- Amen.

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

- Clink, clink, clink.

- Situation.

- So we are gonna go
- around the table.

- Oh, God, I'm scared.

- Don't get scared.

- Are you gonna show
- your vagina?

- No.

- Yes.

- I'm in.

- I'm just kidding.

- We are gonna go
- around the table,

And tell the positives

and negatives

about being in quarantine.

Okay? So my positives

about quarantine,

I have had amazing,

- like, quality time
- with my kids.

Here we are,

just watching a lot of TV.

And my negatives

has been my business.

Because I really wanted

to start making my own money,

and it's been

a really tough time.

Towards the end of last year,

- my business was
- really-oh, my gosh,

- Thriving,
- and I was so proud,

- And we were doing so,
- so good.

- Kary has an amazing

jewelry line.

- Yes,
- so I finally have a piece.

- No way.
- Beautiful.

- Oh, my God.

- Beautiful.
- That's amazing.

- Then the pandemic hit,

and it just completely

took that all away from me.

Cheers.

- Cheers.

- That's my thing.

- So for me,

I decided to take

a couple of spiritual journeys.

I started to see a shaman.

I'd like to be softer,

more compassionate,

less reactive.

- I got off
- all my antidepressants,

All my ADD medication.

If I hadn't slowed down

from coronavirus,

it never would've happened.

- I have no idea

what a shaman is.

Like, I think

of a magical wizard.

I feel like shamans

should be like

in the movie,

like, Lord of the Rings.

- It was about maybe three weeks

in to this pandemic

that one of my twins,

we were talking about something,

- and she was like,
- "Mommy, I like coronavirus."

- And I was like,
- "What did you say?"

- And she was like,
- "It's because you're home more."

- And I was like, "Oh."
- Aww.

- Like, seriously -

- I really enjoyed
- being with my family more.

Back when COVID first hit,

we basically cancelled all

elective surgeries.

So I was working

slightly less hours.

But now my work schedule

is crazy.

- You know,
- on a more serious note,

I have patients

that I've taken care of

who have succumbed to this.

There is some

real devastation going on

in a lot of people's lives.

So, it's, it's been tough.

Yeah.

If I encountered someone

who said coronavirus

is not real,

it's a hoax,

it's a liberal agenda,

it's a conspiracy,

I would just say to them,

"Let's not be friends for now."

- My sister has COVID right now,

and she's okay.

But it's just like,

you think that

- until it touches you,
- you're like,

"Oh, it'll never happen to me."

- I'm a doctor,
- I went to medical school,

I'm a scientist.

There's a novel coronavirus,

it is infecting people,

and some of those people

are very sick and dying.

Like, those are facts,

like, the sky is blue, right?

- I'm gonna back it up

just a little bit before COVID.

2020 didn't start off

the best for me.

I made a very ignorant,

insensitive choice

and, um... and I'm sorry.

I made a very ignorant,

insensitive choice,

and, um... and I'm sorry.

I lived with a lot of shame,

- and I'm still carrying
- it with me.

I went to mental health facility

that helped me through.

You know, because I was like

- nobody wants to be friends
- with me anymore,

- And that's the last thing
- I wanted,

- So I thought that maybe I should
- make my life go away.

I want you all to know that

I'm very grateful

for all of you.

And I think that's what

I got out of it.

I have amazing friends

that have been here for me,

and I thank you all.

- I love you, babe.

- Cheers for that one.

- We love you. Cheers.
- Yeah.

- Cheers
- for being so vulnerable.

- And can we get some alcohol
- in here.

- Everyone sort of got -

- I'm just
- a little bit confused

How upset she is.

It's almost like a kid

who hits another kid,

but then starts crying.

We should talk later.

- I'll be right back.
- Where are you going?

- I feel like I'm going to cry.
- Okay.

- That's a lot.

- I know.

- So the difference

between what LeeAnne did

- and what Brandi did
- in the video,

- LeeAnne was doing it
- out of hate.

- Come on, Mexican.

I thought you were

all Mexican and strong.

Miss, I can defend myself

because I'm from Mexico.

But the little chirpy Mexican

has to have her way.

- Brandi's video was

very ignorant and stupid.

But she has been

so devastated about it,

- and I think that she will never
- do something like that again.

Sadly, you know,

I never saw that from LeeAnne.

- Yeah.

- Okay?
- Yeah.

- I was at Brandi's house
- the other day,

- And she told me-
- I didn't know

- That she was taking it
- that hard

- And that she was suicidal.
- Oh, my gosh.

- I had no idea.

- I need a drink.

- Wait, I'm gonna... I'm gonna
- make a shot.

- Oh.
- Yeah, here you go.

You want one of these?

- I don't like those.

- I need to get this in here.

- I don't like those.

- Um, are you good?

You guys... you two need talk.

- You two need to talk.
- Shots!

- Yeah.

- Are those,

like, quiches over there?

I feel like we should just eat.

- Can we just start food?
- I'm so hungry.

- I'm starving.
- We're eating, people.

- Yay. Love to eat.

- Is this the eating crowd?
- Okay.

- Are we okay to eat,
- Stephanie?

- Yup. Eat.
- Okay. Thanks.

- This is amazing.

- Uh-hmm.

- Wow.
- Is Brandi okay out there?

- She's good.

I think she's just having

- a heart-to-heart with Tiffany.
- Yeah.

- Oh, my God.

Where do I even start?

- I don't want you think
- that I'm like, coming at you

- Or attacking you
- or anything.

But I think

I would be remiss

if I just sat silently

like complicit.

- Like, this is my opportunity
- to stand up

- And say, like,
- what you did was wrong.

- Like, it hurt a lot
- of people's feelings.

- Hundred percent.

- Hundred percent.
- It was in poor taste.

You know that.

- I mean... I was ignorant

And I was insensitive,

and I,

I made a mistake. And-

- Yeah.

- And I just wanna share

- a little part of my story
- with you.

So, when I was three years old,

my parents immigrated

to America without me,

they left me behind

to, like, have the opportunity

for a better life.

So from the time I was three

until the time I was six,

I did not see my parents.

They left me

with my grandparents,

and then, when I was six,

they put me on a plane

from Beijing to New York

by myself,

and I landed in America

to meet my parents.

But, like, I hadn't seen them

for three years.

I knew not a lick of English.

Not a lick.

And I went to school

and people did this thing.

They did this thing to me.

- Next time on
- "The Real Housewives of Dallas".

- My other family kind of just

resurfaced out of the blue.

There was a big fight

over the family estate.

How did you and Kary get along?

- I've been bullied before.

- Do it, do it, do it.

- Am I in middle - school again?

Because I sure as hell

feel like it.

- We got a low ball offer.

- This time,

we're doing a fast close.

- I'm not telling you

until it is closed.

- All y'all are gonna eat
- a chicken foot.

Oh, my gosh.

- Oh, God. That's... oh, God.

- Are there

barf bags anywhere?