The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2010–…): Season 9, Episode 12 - The Ultimate Ultimatum - full transcript
Lisa Vanderpump gives Dorit an ultimatum that could end their friendship forever; unresolved tension between Kyle and Dorit comes to a head at Teddi's dinner party; Denise gets her first taste of Camille's insincere ways.
- Previously on "The Real
- Previously on "The Real
Housewives of Beverly Hills"...
- My husband has an RV.
I think we should do
some sort of road trip.
- I want to go camping.
- It's surreal when you start
to see your kids
become adults.
- Yeah.
- I just feel
like I ----ed up a lot...
with their dad.
- You did the best you could.
- If you're one person
with thousands staring,
like, it can be a little
bit vulnerable.
- You could have issues.
You can't even get on
with your best friend.
- Okay.
- That's not cool.
- Why would he say that to me?
- It was a joke.
- His humor sucks.
- Well, I beg to differ.
- I woke up to an article
from Radar Online,
and I know Lisa
fed that story.
I've had no communication
with Lisa.
- Well, she didn't ask you
to her birthday.
- She shuts down.
She holds her friendship
as ransom.
- She's always been
like that, though.
- They should believe me,
and if they don't,
then I don't really want them
to be part of my life.
It's as simple as that.
- Mm-hmm.
[upbeat music]
- In the game of life,
it's Rinna take all.
♪ ♪
- Most people talk
about their fantasies.
I'm living mine.
♪ ♪
- In business and in life,
I wear many hats
and hairstyles.
- You can stab me in the back,
but whilst you're there,
kiss my ass.
- I'm not afraid of hard work,
but I'll never
do your dirty work.
- My problem
with the tabloids?
My real life
is so much juicier.
- In Beverly Hills,
the truth always has a way
of rising to the top.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- I love this street.
I'll never get tired
of driving down this street.
- I know. I drive this street
almost every single day.
- Mm-hmm.
- These trees...
- It's pretty.
I don't know about you,
but if I don't work out,
I don't feel good.
- I'm cranky.
- Right?
- And I'm a bitch.
- So my friend's studio--
I call it a studio.
It's really a gym.
MERGE--it's incredible.
I was gonna say
you'll end up thin,
but I don't know
that you need thin.
[both laughing]
- Whenever Erika's back in
town between her tour dates,
I always steal her away.
I love the relationship
that I have with Erika,
and, you know,
we've built that over time.
It didn't just happen.
They're not here, and I should
never have said it.
- (BLEEP) you!
They're saying sh-- about her.
Say who told it.
- There's so much of a survivor
and a hustler in Erika
that I so relate to, and I just
get a kick out of her.
- I did a show called "Merge."
- Did you really?
- Yeah, during one of those
moments of, like, you know,
I have one job, but I need
another one
because the one job's not
really cutting it.
- Oh, it had
to be high stress.
- It was tough.
- Right?
- I just constantly talk
about how fortunate we are
and the struggles
we've been through.
- Yeah, the lean years,
you know,
in order to get here.
The thing about Rinna
is that she's fearless.
She's also someone that's not
afraid to admit their faults.
- I'm sorry that I hurt you.
That I am truly sorry for, Kim.
- And I love that about her.
That's a real friend, not
someone that will never admit
that they've done
anything wrong.
You know, "Oh, no, not me.
Not me."
Bullsh--.
Oh, rock-star parking.
♪ ♪
Go on in.
- Ah, this is nice.
- Welcome to MERGE.
- Hi!
- Hi, Lisa.
How are you?
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, hello.
Hi, hi.
- Hi, baby doll.
- How are you?
- All right,
are we rowing first?
- Okay.
- Everybody get strapped in.
Drive hard with your legs back.
When in doubt, just watch Erika.
She has perfect form.
She's been working on--
- I'm just kidding!
[both laughing]
- I followed her exactly!
- And watch the tracking
of your knees.
- Oh, I see.
They're going in, aren't they?
- They're going in, right,
'cause you got weak glutes.
Sorry. Your ass is weak.
- Oh!
- We have
to work on your ass.
- So maybe you can't bounce
a dime on it
like you used
to be able to, honey,
but still, I have
my own workout DVDs.
There you go.
Now I'm hip-hopping.
[hip-hop music]
[laughs]
Get that head in there.
And jump.
Whoop!
♪ ♪
Seven, eight...
You did it.
- We're going on the floor.
- The audacity of this man
is so humiliating. [laughs]
- We're gonna go
X position abs.
You're gonna come up,
right arm to left leg.
- I wonder if this is bad
for my neck Botox.
- It is.
- I know.
- This exercise is called
the neck Botox undoer.
- Does this hurt our Botox
in any way?
- Well, it depends on when
you got it done.
- [laughs]
- Butterfly position
with the feet.
We're gonna do frog pumps.
- For my weak ass.
- This is for your weak ass.
Go down slowly
and then explode up.
So go all the way
down 30 seconds.
- Oh, yeah, that's it.
- Go.
- Lisa, explode.
- Oh, this is super attractive.
- Oh.
- All the way up.
- I haven't ended up on my back
a lot lately, so it's nice.
- All right, uh...
- Oh, I love that about you.
- [laughs]
- Whoo!
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
[car horn honks]
- Hello, how are you?
- Good.
- Have you got ours, then?
- I am ready for you.
I've got one picked out--
kind of a white-gray
combination.
- No, I don't like it.
No, I want whiter.
- Whiter?
- We're in the middle
of the kitchen remodel.
♪ ♪
- How's it going, Todd?
[hammer pounding]
[power tools whirring]
- Oh, my God.
[imitates crunching]
This kitchen is getting
more expensive,
so we need to keep that lid
tightly on that $300,000,
otherwise I'm gonna be
in huge trouble.
- Hey, guys.
- Hi.
- How are you?
Hi.
- So the choice
we had originally
is a little too dark.
We want to go a little whiter.
- A little bit lighter.
- Yep.
- I think I have
a solution for you.
- Go ahead.
I like the solutions.
I think the one
we're gonna choose
is the one that he's
gonna lift his leg on.
Oh, that's it.
That--that's got to be the one.
Why don't we just have a look
at the one that Puffy weed on?
Oh, Puffy, that is magnificent.
But, no, it's not quite right.
- Well, why don't we pull out
a couple of those slabs?
- I think that's a good idea.
I'm gonna go grab the guys, and
we'll pull them out for you.
- Hey, did I tell you PK
called me?
- Yeah.
- I appreciate you,
you know, reaching out
and calling me,
and I have missed you.
And I do love you, PK.
- I want to be back
best friends with you.
Have your people talk
to my people.
- I am my people, PK.
He was so nice.
And I said, "Well,
why don't you come to Pump?"
- I don't see any problem
having lunch with him,
but with Dorit, you won't
get a straight answer.
- It's hard to even have
a conversation about something
that you both disagree on
because it goes
round and round.
I haven't seen Dorit since
Denise's wedding.
- Your breasts
look humongous.
- When I left the house,
they were much smaller.
They all thought I gave
that story to Radar Online.
So I haven't really had
anything to do with her.
- Dorit was, like, devastated.
- You think I'm gonna give
the story to Radar Online?
- That's what
everybody thinks, yes.
- If Dorit's gonna
call me a liar,
then there is no friendship.
I want to be very
clear about that.
Let's go for this.
I think it's beautiful
with the sparkle.
I really do.
- I like it.
- That's so exciting.
- Yeah, it is exciting.
But has the price gone up?
- No, no, it hasn't.
- Well, it depends
on how much you complain.
- Are you kidding me?
No, it--
Like, that piggy bank is empty.
♪ ♪
- Push!
What--
- Hello.
- Oh, my gosh!
- Welcome to Beverly Beach.
- Oh, Matt!
Babies, look how beautiful
Mommy's office is!
I can't believe
it came together.
- You even have pink for me!
- That's right, baby girl.
We put pink for you.
- How are you?
- I came to look around.
I need a Beverly Beach office
because I can't operate
just out of my house.
Try on this set
so I can see it.
Just--you can use this bathroom
right here.
And I'm ready
for this next level.
So, before Daddy gets--
can we just look
at your kids' corner?
- [gasps]
- 'Cause this is officially
Jagger and Phoenix's space.
- But I like quiet zone!
- Growing Beverly Beach has
been like having another child.
You've got your bean bags.
- Mommy!
- And I love that my three
children can play together.
[knock at door]
[gasps]
Welcome to Beverly Beach.
[clapping]
- Did you do--
Did you two do this?
- They definitely helped.
- How's it going?
- Matt.
- I'm Matt.
- This is my husband, PK.
- Nice to meet you.
- PK.
- Thank you.
It's fab.
Love it.
Wow, look at you.
- Isn't it amazing, Bubba?
- I might be able to retire.
Do nothing.
Just leave it to you.
Love it. I love the desk.
It's great.
- Well, I'm off to my next
design emergency.
- Okay.
Matt, thank you, my love.
- My work here is done.
I am done.
- Oh, thank you so much.
Thank you, Matt!
- [laughs]
I wanted to tell you
very quickly,
you know I mentioned
I called LVP.
- Yep.
- We're gonna have
lunch together.
[dramatic music]
- I never, ever thought
that anything would happen
and our friendship
would be dissipated.
Despite all the things
that I believe she's done,
Lisa and I have history.
- We changed the straps out.
- Changed rubber.
[both snickering]
- Never use the same
rubber twice, darling.
- Oh, gosh.
- I love you.
Bye.
[both smooching]
You did a great party.
- Thanks, Bub.
- Dorit has been largely
misunderstood.
She's got
a really good heart,
and she's a really kind,
supportive friend.
- That loving part of me wants
to make things right.
But I'm not gonna sacrifice
my integrity to do that.
- I don't think Kenny's helpful
because he definitely wants
to rehash things.
- Honey, listen to me--you
cannot control anyone else, so--
- of course I can control
everyone else.
I'm a manager.
That's what I'm supposed to do.
- Well, then you can.
I can't.
- No, don't worry about it.
Anyway, I spoke to her.
- But, honey, can I just talk
to you about something
on this topic?
- Yeah.
- The other night when we
were at the concert
and you'd made that throw-away
comment to Kyle,
it was a tad insensitive.
- You could have issues.
You can't even get on
with your best friend,
so you could have issues.
[all shouting]
I love Kyle.
She knows I love her.
I'm happy to apologize.
It was insensitive.
- I'm not asking you
to call her and apologize.
I'm not asking--she said--
I'm just telling you.
- But I'm also not
gonna discuss it
for days and weeks on end.
- Oh, I'm with you on that.
- No chance.
- I'm with you on that, baby.
I'm with you.
It's done.
- Coming up...
- You know,
Miss Vander-fabulous,
she's got too much pride.
that ego and that pride--
she's too prideful.
- Do I need a drink
for this conversation?
- You might.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Where do I go
to the Hollywood sign?
Which way do I go
from your house?
- You can go back
down this way.
- Sophia's coming home
for the weekend.
We're taking our holiday cards.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
This is her--
This is Sophia's, like,
first time back home.
- Aww, she's so cute.
- Have you talked to anybody
since the other night?
- I haven't.
Did Dorit reach out?
- No, which--am I wrong
to think that's weird?
My whole fight has been about
protecting the two of you.
- No.
- I could--
- Your fight has been about
your own personal experiences
and things that are--
- Dorit, you're 100% wrong.
- Anybody that knows you knows
that you're gonna
be hurt by that.
- It cost me, you know,
my friendship with Lisa.
And for you to make
that dig like that,
it's just ----ing rude.
PK's stupid joke is implying
that I did something wrong
and that that's why Lisa
and I aren't speaking.
No, I didn't do anything wrong.
I spoke up and told the truth.
And you should say thank you to
me for that instead, actually.
Whatever.
I will survive.
Let's park here on this little
awkward angle.
- That's fine.
I mean, we have
to park the closest
when we're going
to exercise.
- God forbid I take three
extra steps, Teddi,
and burn a few more calories.
- Nope.
- Yes.
[car beeping]
- Oh, you're really killing it
with the parking.
- Yeah, don't be jealous
of my parking.
- You know what? I'm just--
- Oh! It's fine.
♪ ♪
It's okay.
♪ ♪
I've never been up here.
Look how beautiful this is.
- I know.
- I've never seen this up here.
But if I ever came alone,
I'd picture
myself getting murdered
and then tossed my body
into that lake over there.
- No!
Look at the deer.
- Look how beautiful
they are.
- He just eats something.
He wanted a little snack.
- Cute.
- Me too, Bambi.
- This is what I love
about living in Los Angeles.
You go on hikes, and you see
these beautiful animals.
I love to do stuff like that.
- I love to do things
that I wouldn't normally do,
like the RV trip.
- What's going on
with the RV trip?
- I mean, if we're gonna go,
we have to go soon.
- I do want to pitch a tent.
And don't say the word.
There are children here.
- Boner.
I don't know how far we're
gonna get in this RV.
It is the size of a tour bus.
- Like a Winnebago?
Like you can sleep in it?
- Yes.
There's, like, a king bed
in the back.
There's, like, um--
- How many bedrooms?
Just kidding.
- [laughs]
I love camping 'cause it's
truly about the people
that you're with.
You strip down any of, like,
the high-maintenance B.S.
that sometimes we all get
involved in,
and you're just living, like,
a more simple life,
even if it's only for 24 hours.
- We could, like, cook out
there and drink wine.
I think it'd be so fun.
- Just sit out by the fire,
make s'mores.
- We may be the only one who
thinks it's going to be fun.
You do know that.
- I know.
[laughing] You know, my potluck
turned out so good last year.
- This is the stupidest
sh-- ever.
Somebody's mad 'cause
I slept at the hotel.
- Here's the thing I don't--
- I didn't want to bleed
all over your sheets.
- Oh, my gosh.
- But I'm gonna try again
and take these women
out of their comfort zones and
see if we can all just relax
and have a good time together.
Worst case is one of us
doesn't make it home.
So maybe I should do, like,
a little happy hour
the night before.
- That's a good idea.
Please look at this.
There's a turtle!
- He's very busy.
Okay, let's take a picture.
- Oh, my gosh.
[quirky music]
- That Hollywood sign
never gets old.
This is our home!
- [sighs]
- Holly-weird.
♪ ♪
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- All right.
- Thank you.
- Oh, yeah, of course.
♪ ♪
- Hey, gorgeous.
- Hi, how are you?
- You look amazing as always.
- Oh, you--yeah.
- You're a natural beauty.
- Oh, stop.
- You don't have to work at it.
I do.
- We're in Malibu.
You don't have to wear, like,
the heels and everything.
- I know, I know.
No, no, no.
- You look cute.
- Thanks.
I got to change it up a little,
but I'm gonna take this off.
The wedding's coming up.
It's kind of been a really
hectic time for me.
I'm raising teenagers,
trying to blend a family.
- I know.
It's not easy.
- Like, you know--
- It's an adjustment.
- It's such an adjustment.
- Plus he has kids, too.
- He's got two younger boys.
- Right.
Whoo!
- [laughing]
- Hi, ladies.
both: Hi.
- Do you want a glass
of wine or a cocktail?
- You know what I love here,
is the lemonade.
Thank you.
- I'll have a lemonade, too.
- It's so good here.
- Do you know what you want?
- Yeah, I think the ono.
- I'll get
the grilled artichoke.
And then the apple
and prosciutto salad.
But no prosciutto.
- Okay.
[laughter]
- Sorry. Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- I love this place.
- Do you feel different getting
married now than--Yeah?
- Yeah, it's different
than the first time.
It was David's idea
to have a big wedding.
I wanted something smaller
'cause I've been down
this road before,
and so has he.
But I'm really glad that
he opted for us having
a giant celebration.
It's gonna be amazing.
There's a whole different
vibe to, you know,
marrying an actor who's on
a successful show at the time.
- I first met Camille when she
was married to Kelsey.
So Camille and I have,
for sure, compared notes
going through
very public divorces.
We're definitely survivors.
[laughing]
How was the concert
the other night?
- Oh.
You know...
- Do I need a drink
for this conversation?
- You might.
- Oh, I think I'm gonna order
a Casamigos Reposado,
neat, a single.
- I'll have a martini.
- Okay, I'll get it for you.
- The concert was great.
And then backstage
after the show,
out of nowhere, PK says
something to Kyle referencing
Lisa Vanderpump,
that she can't even keep
her best friend.
But then Dorit came over
to talk to Kyle
to explain things,
and then Teddi just jumped in.
- Then he goes,
"Me and Ken are good.
Me and Vanderpump are good."
- That doesn't matter.
Let me have a conversation
with Kyle for two seconds.
- The way that she just talked
to me was so inappropriate.
- Okay, don't get upset.
Don't get upset.
- I just feel like she's a bit
of a know-it-all.
Teddi needs to take a seat.
Here we go.
Her youth is getting
the best of her.
She sounds like
an entitled millennial.
[dramatic music]
I think Teddi should stay
out of that.
- Huh.
- But there's another side.
There's something about Dorit
that just--
I like Dorit a lot, and
I'm getting to like her more,
but I still have a--I just--
something there.
You know, Miss Vander-fabulous--
that ego and that pride--
she's too prideful.
Wait, wait, wait,
in the Bahamas,
I couldn't believe the stuff
that Rinna was saying.
Dorit called me
a (BLEEP) last year,
so I had my issues with her.
You ever feel
like somebody's phony,
but you want to believe
them so badly?
- Camille just can't shut
her piehole.
And it's making me feel like,
one, she's gonna be talking
about me next.
- It's like being back
in high school
with the mean girls.
- Except I didn't even
do this in high school.
It's so weird.
It puts me in a very
compromising position
because I love all these ladies
and I don't want to tell them
what she's saying because
I don't want to, like,
have everything
----ing blow up.
Is everyone gonna be fighting
on this RV trip?
Because we're gonna be stuck
in a tin can driving.
- [laughs] It's gonna be
the RV from hell.
- Well, maybe it'll be
a bonding experience.
- [laughs]
- Coming up...
- Everybody's been focused
on Radar Online.
- It's very difficult
for me to believe
that you had nothing
to do with that.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- All right.
- I'm glad I put this in.
- I know.
I like the gate.
Oh, baby, we get to see
the sunrise.
- It's beautiful.
- Eloise is still sleeping,
so I might have to have you
take Lola, if you don't mind.
Before the morning chaos starts,
we wake up at 5:00,
we have a little hanky panky,
and then get into taking care
of the kids,
having our coffee, gym,
and getting them to school.
All right,
let's go make breakfast.
Give me a kiss, baby.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Sh--.
[mutters angrily]
♪ ♪
Don't any of you eat that food.
Portia, can you wake up,
please?
I have always done
attachment parenting.
We love having the kids
sleep with us.
We always have.
Farrah and Alexia decided
around eight years old
that they wanted to sleep
on their own.
Sophia was about ten,
and Portia still sleeps
with us at ten years old.
Not the best idea.
We find our alone time when we
want it and we need it,
and, hey, we're happy.
[smooching]
Don't forget--look,
I don't want your egg
to get cold, okay?
- Mm.
- Okay, angel?
I'm gonna put the lights
on brighter, okay?
I don't think
I'm spoiling Portia.
I'm taking care of her.
I'm her mother.
I have to wake her up. I got
to get her ready for school.
I've got to make her breakfast.
It's my job.
Portia!
- What are you doing,
cutie pie?
I'm making you a sandwich.
- The girls really love Aaron.
He's an amazing cook.
They actually like his food
way better than mine.
[door creaking]
Sami.
- What?
- Do you have any
of her clothes?
- No.
- Yeah, you have my pants.
- Well, I just bought these.
These are not for you.
- Don't fight.
+- She won't get
out of my closet.
- Yeah, 'cause I need
something to wear.
- You guys, stop fighting.
Parenting teenagers
is challenging.
[door creaks]
- Baby?
- Yes?
- We need Michael to go
shopping and get some stuff.
- Shut her door.
Lola?
They're pushing the boundaries
for independence,
which is hard for me as a mom,
trying to figure out
where I pick my battles.
- Stop!
You have your own!
♪ ♪
- Sometimes it's better to let
two people work it out
I don't know.
I'm still figuring it out.
[laughing] There's no real
handbook, I think, on it.
Eloise, can I brush your hair?
We got to brush your hair
a little bit.
I'm gonna run to the bathroom,
and then I'm ready.
[hair dryer whirring]
- Thank you, Mommy.
- You're welcome, honey.
Get your socks and shoes on.
- My sockies and shoesies.
- [sighs]
I think it's important
for children
to know that they are the most
important people in your life.
Can you please just take
two bites of these
so I don't stress?
Something, so you have food
in your stomach?
My world revolves around them.
What can I say?
I think they like it that way.
You literally have, like,
two more minutes.
Just give me your feet.
We do not have time.
- [muttering]
- Give me your other foot.
Well, we don't have time,
and you have to eat something.
- I had a bite of eggs.
- That is the bite?
Portia.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- I love this orange and pink.
Oh, my God, I almost want
to keep it like this.
This is so sweet.
Ken, PK and Dorit are coming by,
and they're coming for lunch
And obviously we're
not open for lunch.
And people are more pissed
off when they're hungry,
so I don't know what
we're gonna do.
Maybe get some sushi.
- Can we get some sushi?
- Of course.
- This lunch is maybe
a conduit
to put the friendship
back together.
I think we could find
a middle ground.
If she says to me,
"I don't believe that.
I love you.
Let's move past this,"
then we're kind of
in harmony again.
- How you feeling, baby?
- I feel fine.
We're going to make
things better.
So, on that basis,
I feel good about it.
- I still have to be true
to myself, PK.
And sometimes you can be
in a friendship
and have a difference
of opinion.
But if both people want
to try and find a way forward,
then there's that possibility.
- Ultimately,
I'd like you two ladies
to try and find a compromise
so we can go back
to enjoying our friendship.
And I'm gonna leave
a lot of this to you.
[dramatic music]
- And let's put roses
on there as well.
All right, perfect.
- Thank you, Latine.
- Hey, PK.
- How are you?
- Good.
- Congratulations on this.
- Thank you.
- Exciting, huh?
- Hi, Dorit.
- Hi, Lisa.
- Hi.
[both smooching]
Oh, we're just having
fun tonight.
It really isn't like--
- An Indian palace
- We're just having some fun.
- What, you're celebrating
gay rights in India?
- Yeah, they decriminalized
homosexuality.
- Amazing.
- So, you know, if you go
to India, you're gonna be fine.
- Well, I hope--yeah, exactly.
I hope you're gonna be playing
George's "Hare Krishna".
How you doing?
You okay?
- Yeah, I'm good.
How are you?
- Yeah, good.
I think you've can tell we've
been downgraded as friends
'cause we haven't got
the prime seat anymore.
- Oh.
[dramatic music]
- You felt like
me this morning.
You felt cold.
I woke up freezing.
- I've been feeling cold
for a few weeks, PK.
- Well, you've been feeling
no warmth.
- I've been feeling
kind of frozen out.
♪ ♪
- Coming up...
- I can put this behind us.
I want to more than anything.
- If you believe I gave
the story to Radar Online,
we don't have a friendship.
[upbeat music]
- Cheers.
[glasses clinking]
♪ ♪
- I love you.
- Ooh.
He got a smile
and an "I love you."
I got a--
- Oh, Dorit,
I haven't really been happy.
You know, look,
everybody's been confused
on Radar Online.
- So why did you call TMZ
instead of calling me?
- Why wouldn't you call her?
- Oh, my God, I went to TMZ
to say, "This isn't true,"
for God's sake.
That's a much bigger statement
than going, "Hi, Dorit."
- Lisa, we're friends.
Lisa should have called to
check how I was doing
to discuss this article, saying
what an outrage this is.
We don't talk via the public.
We don't talk via the media.
We talk within one another.
- I was basically defending you,
but, unfortunately, you might
find out too late that
I've been in your corner.
- She went Radar Online.
She gave a story that
was false
so that she can then come in
and be the hero and defend me.
- If I was you, I would've
said...
- I would have said,
"Thanks for doing that."
- "Thanks for doing that.
That was amazing."
- Because she wants to turn
around and say,
"You see?
I'm the one who saved you."
You have to understand it's
very difficult for me
to believe that you had nothing
to do with that.
- I'm sorry, I've got to draw
a line in the sand.
If you believe I gave the story
to Radar Online,
we don't have a friendship.
[dramatic music]
- It hurts me that you can look
me in the eye and you can say,
"If you believe this,
then there's no friendship."
- It's true.
I stand by that.
What do you want me to do?
You want me to take
a lie-detector test?
- No, I don't want you
to take a lie-detector test.
- Why can't we just say,
"Look, somewhere in the mix
"this thing got ----ed up?
Can we please eradicate it,
erase it, and move forward?"
- You can only flip forward
with Lisa and me
if you understand
that Lisa never, ever lies.
She's the best friend
you will ever have,
and if she doesn't believe her,
no friendship.
♪ ♪
- You're trying to control
our thoughts.
- Of course I am.
- Ken.
- I'm trying to convince you
that my wife
is the most honest person
you'll ever meet in your life.
- What's the point of having
a friendship with somebody
who's saying,
"Oh, let's be friends.
"Oh, let's have lunch,
shall we, Lisa?
Yeah, let's do that,
but I think you're a liar"?
No.
Guess what.
If I was you, I wouldn't want
to be friends with a liar,
so why do you?
- So you care enough about this
that you want to do away
with a friendship
that I believe is stronger
and more powerful
than this incident?
And that saddens me.
I'm not used to it.
- Sad to me that all my friends
sit there and go,
"Yeah, let's bring the gavel
down on her."
She's as guilty as (BLEEP)
because that's
what we're saying.
- I haven't gotten any of that.
I can still say
that this happened,
but I still love you enough
and care for you enough
that I can put this behind us.
I want to
more than anything.
- You're still saying
you don't believe her.
- Ken, we can agree to disagree.
- No, we can't.
- We don't have to ruin
a friendship over this.
It's bullsh--.
Move on. You're being
too extreme, Kenny.
- No, I'm not.
- You are.
You're being too black
and white.
- No, I'm not.
I know you're trying hard.
But your wife
isn't trying hard.
- No, but you're not
trying hard either.
- That's not fair, because,
Kenny, I am trying hard.
- If you think she's lying,
you can't be a friend of hers.
- Well, yeah, I've been told
that now five times.
At what point is it gonna get
through to me, PK?
- Careful.
- Because I can only hear
that someone doesn't want
to be my friend for so long,
and then it's kind of like,
I feel like the idiot.
- I don't think Lisa and Kenny
don't want to be our friends.
And I definitely know that
we want to be your friends.
- And we love you dearly.
- Do you believe it?
- I believe that someone in
your camp leaked that story.
[suspenseful music]
- I'm telling you,
on my kids' life,
I didn't give that story.
and I don't know who did.
Right? Okay.
- Okay, then at that point,
I would accept that.
- Okay, but your wife won't.
- Well, my wife's got--
I don't control my wife.
I'm a trusting person.
And also, I'm a very
forgiving person.
- I'm with your husband.
- Don't take longer
to come down.
- When you say, "If Lisa says
this, you should accept it--"
- Yeah, I don't need
to come down--I don't.
You're asking me
to dig deep
and to not be true to myself.
- No, I'm not.
- That's what you're
asking me to do.
- I believe if Lisa Vanderpump
is sitting here
and saying, "I swear
on my kids' life,
I did not give that story,"
you have to accept that.
- Or know anybody that did.
- You have to accept that.
- Or know anybody that did.
- That is moving on, okay?
- PK...
- Oh, this is painful.
- No.
I care enough
about our friendship
that I know it has to be
based on honesty.
- Go on, say it.
Say it.
- Much like I believe you
had something to do
with the initial story
and the John, period.
- Well,
you're no friend of mine.
I'm going.
- Okay.
- PK, I'd like to stay
friends with you.
- I love you, PK.
- After that, no way.
- I love you.
Love you.
- Well, PK, it looks like
you're having dinner with them
alone from now on.
It's okay, PK.
I don't have friends
that tell me that.
- Isn't it helpful
what you just said.
- Well, I've said it all along.
It's not fair the position
you're putting me in.
- No, I don't feel I'm putting
you in any position.
I love you.
I support you always.
I'm advising you--when someone's
swearing on their life,
do you not understand you have
to accept that?
- Honey, I am not gonna beg
for someone's friendship
when they've told me
it's this condition.
- This is why I haven't
been around them.
- Eh, a load of rubbish.
- Forget it.
This gives me
too much anxiety.
The fact that Dorit's kind
of taking this stance
has basically ended
the whole bloody thing.
Come on.
Let's go through this.
I don't really care,
quite frankly.
That's the problem,
is that I don't care.
- PK, I don't want to sit
in their restaurant
when I've just had that--
I want to get up and go.
- All righty.
- I'm finishing a song here.
- You are? Listen.
Do you think we should do
a bit of a check?
- Lisa.
- Yes, hon.
- Yes, we should.
[dramatic music]
- Yeah?
- You stated your case.
I respect whatever you decide.
- It's fine.
- But I want
to tell you this, Lisa.
And I mean this into my heart.
- Yeah.
- I love you.
I want to move past it.
- I don't want love like that
if you don't believe me.
- Lisa...
- I don't want love like that.
- Friendships
are not based on--
- They are based
on honesty, Dorit.
- Exactly,
and I'm being honest.
I'm being honest, Lisa.
- [sighs] Okay.
- I still want
to move forward, honey.
I still want to try and--
- With somebody that you
think's lying to you?
- Yes.
- Oh, okay.
- Yes.
- I love you.
Great.
- How can you say you love me?
- Well, I actually don't.
- Well, then don't say it!
That's the first time
you've lied?
- Yes, that was
the first time I've lied.
- Okay, well--
- Okay.
- It's suddenly becoming
very clear.
Lisa is still holding a grudge
for me calling her needy
of love and attention.
She needs a lot of attention.
She just does.
I think that goes
back to the fact
that her parents didn't
give her much attention
and she wasn't told,
"I love you."
Even though I apologized
seven million times.
I love you, and I would never,
ever, ever say
or do something
to hurt you.
Our relationship--
our friendship means too much.
You can't do it to me!
I am eternally sorry.
- She's, like,
really been remorseful.
- Very.
- So, at some point,
you got to move on, right?
Otherwise you're accused
of holding a grudge.
- This is payback.
Hey, remember last year?
There you go.
I need to go. I don't know if
you're coming with me or not.
- All right, I'm coming
with you--I'm coming with you.
- Let me just go on
with my life, okay?
- Exactly.
Exactly.
- It's easier
bloody talking at Congress
than it is talking
to that stupid cow.
- Coming up...
- The gate open?
- God damn it.
- Honey, run!
- Get in the house!
- Who the (BLEEP)
opened the gate?
[upbeat music]
- Ay! Ay! Ay!
- Sorry.
- Don't hurt me.
- Well, I'm trying not to.
But Jesus.
- Why are you so aggressive?
- Because I'm in a hurry.
- Ow!
- What?
- Are you kidding me?
- You're sweating.
- I am sweating!
- This is called
a nail clipper.
What is wrong with you?
- Aah!
- As long as my husband
is in this house with me,
I will never have
an empty nest.
- Aah!
- My job will never be done.
- She's told me she would
do this nicely,
and then she got aggressive
with it.
- I never said nicely.
I said, "I'll do it."
We don't have time.
We're doing our holiday cards.
- Oh, my God.
- Portia...
Will you file
Dad's fingernails?
- Mm, no.
[doorbell buzzes]
- See? The photographer's here.
Oh, my God.
Can someone get the gate?
Oh, hi.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Sorry. I'm just trying not
to let my dogs out.
- Okay.
- This is not what I'm wearing.
Don't worry.
Get back, guys.
- Okay, what kind of colors are
you thinking about wearing?
- Jeans and a white shirt.
When I was growing up,
my mom would try to get
some holidays cards,
but they weren't,
like, professional ones.
Then when I had my kids,
it became, like, a big thing.
And I'll just keep on going
until they grow up
and leave the house.
And then I'll probably keep
doing that when they have kids
because we're a family.
That's what you do.
- Let's go frame it up.
- Okay. Thanks.
[dynamic music]
[dog barks]
- Stop barking, Romeo.
- [whispering]
That dog's gonna--
- Are you happy to sleep
in your own bed for once?
- So happy.
- Is that the most you've slept
since you've been in college?
- Mm-hmm.
- Sophia and I talk
three times a day.
I want to make sure that
my daughter is being healthy
and responsible, which she
is extremely responsible.
- What time
have you been going to bed?
- Like, 6:00 a.m.
- Are you trying to kill me?
- Hello?
- Hello.
- Hi!
- Hi, honey. How are you?
- Good. How are you?
- Good. [smooches]
- What?
- Hi, Porsh-y.
- You have a lot of clothes.
- I thought this was starting,
like, right now.
It's 10:32.
- Ugh, we always have
to pad it.
Okay, I'm gonna go
get dressed, then.
♪ ♪
- What are we all wearing?
- Jeans and...
I need you in jeans
and a button-down white shirt.
- Got it.
♪ ♪
- Your sisters are actually
killing me right now.
- Girls!
What are you guys doing?
Let's go.
- Can't you see I'm trying to
create some happy memories here?
[laughing]
What is wrong with you people?
- If we had more time,
I would love to get more shots
just for you guys,
but hard stop.
- I know. I know.
- There, perfect.
- Yeah.
Okay, Bambi, sit.
Now where's my husband?
- Let's see,
is the family down?
- Everybody say
"happy holidays"!
- Merry Christmas!
Happy holidays!
- Dad.
- Bambi!
[whistles]
- The gate open?
- Yeah.
- They're gonna get
out of the gate.
- Hey, Storm! Storm!
- Honey, run!
- Oh, God, no, Romeo!
No! No, Romeo, no!
- God damn it.
- You guys, help me.
♪ ♪
- No, River!
River, no!
- Who the (BLEEP)
opened the gate?
- Get in the house!
- [laughing]
We're just watching.
- What do we do?
I don't know.
- Romeo, get in the house!
Get in the house right now!
You are a very bad boy.
Get in the house.
- Has this happened before?
- All the time. Yeah.
- Get over here right now!
Now I'm sweating my balls off.
- Oh, my God.
- I always feel like my life
is like Whac-A-Mole.
You know, it's like,
you pop one thing,
and then another one pops us.
I'm just like this all day long
Everybody in position, please.
That's my life.
- You can't see the sweat.
- All right, everybody
take a deep breath.
Here we go, everybody.
Quick test.
[laughter]
- Happy ----ing holidays.
- Merry Chris--happy holidays.
- Whoo!
- Here we go.
Everybody hold real still.
Good. Everybody smile at me.
Gorgeous.
- Ah. Brutal.
- That was good. We got it.
- Wasn't that fun?
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- So I think, like,
we're pretty much set.
Oh, you guys
already opened the wines.
- Yeah.
- Y'all are pros.
Me trying to do that, anyway,
would've a disaster.
Last time, I got my finger
caught in there.
My whole MO for having
a nice catered dinner
and the women
being taken care of
is because it's gonna be--
newsflash, once we go camping,
gonna have to do it yourself.
♪ ♪
- Oh, God.
(BLEEP).
♪ ♪
- I don't have any--
What's it called?
Things that go
under the plates.
- Chargers.
- It's fine.
- Chargers.
- That's just fancy stuff
you don't need.
- I can't do it.
[doorbell rings]
Hello.
- Hi!
- Can you even with the--
- I can--I'm not--
I can't quite get over it.
- It's a thing.
- Come in.
- That RV situation.
I think I'm really stressed out
about it.
I am. I'm stressed out
about camping.
I'm not gonna lie.
- What part is stressing you?
- The whole thing.
Being cold's number one.
I don't like to be
uncomfortable.
Who likes to be uncomfortable?
No one.
I have to see this--
Oh, God.
- It's a two-person tent.
- No ----ing way. Is it?
- Yeah.
The mosquitoes can't get you.
But the bears can.
- You just could not get me
to do this.
Number two is I don't like
to be trapped with anybody,
and I feel like I will be
trapped with these women.
That might be number one.
[laughs]
♪ ♪
- Hello?
both: Hello!
- Hi!
- Hi!
- How are you?
- You look beautiful.
- Oh, my God,
you look gorgeous.
♪ ♪
- Come on in.
- Hello?
[laughs]
- Hello!
- Oh, hi!
- [laughs] Hi.
- I don't like having
an awkwardness with my friends.
I'm trying not to let my anger
towards PK
run into my feelings
towards Dorit.
But I was really upset
the other night,
and I think I had
every right to be.
♪ ♪
- Hey.
- Hello!
- Oh, hi.
- Hi!
- Hey.
- What do we wear up there?
- I'm wearing
----ing sweats, man.
- That's what I would say.
- Listen, this is no glamour.
- No glam.
- No.
- Hey, girls!
- Hello. Good.
- Hey.
- You look great.
- Hello.
- Hi, honey.
both: Mwah.
- All right, careful.
- Thank you.
[doorbell rings,
indistinct chatter]
- Hello!
- Hello.
- Come on in.
- Hi, girls.
- Hi!
- Hello.
- Would you like chicken
or salmon for dinner?
- How is it prepared, babe?
Chicken how?
- The chicken is gonna be
the chicken paillard.
- Oh, I like
chicken paillard.
- So I believe there's
three tents...
- Yeah.
- With...
room for two
and then the RV.
- How many of us are going?
- We're all going.
- I mean, I'm assuming
Lisa Vanderpump's not coming--
I'm assuming.
- I mean, she didn't even text
me back about tonight,
so I doubt it.
- Has anybody heard from her?
- She texted me to invite me
to the party that she had.
The decriminalization
of homosexuality in India.
[traditional Indian music
playing]
♪ ♪
[man singing
in native language]
♪ ♪
- She invited you
to a party?
- Well, I said,
"Thanks so much. I can't--"
You know? "I hope to see you.
Like, how have you been?"
- Well...
[chuckles]
We had lunch--
PK, Ken, Lisa, and I.
The essence of it was,
"You either admit now
"that Lisa had nothing
to do with this,
or you are not our friend."
- [gasps]
Really?
- She needs to just apologize.
- [scoffs] That's funny.
- [laughs]
- Denise, are you
a comedian, too, now?
- Denise--
[laughter]
- You got to be okay
with not being perfect.
And Lisa Vanderpump
can't do that.
- Do you have a hard time saying
you're sorry?
- I don't know.
- Yolanda's nodding.
- Well, if everybody says that,
then I must.
- It's so easy
to just say, "I ----ed up."
How hard is that?
Did I disappear? No.
Did I go up in smoke? No.
- Solid cheers. Thank you.
- Thank you for having us.
- So, Dorit, what happened
at the end?
Like, how did it end?
- How does PK feel?
What's the end takeaway?
- He is the eternal optimist.
And I'm sure
he'll continue to try.
- Why does he try so hard
with Lisa?
Like, for example,
PK's reaction the other night--
he was so like,
"Well, my friendship's fine
I spoke to Kenny."
- I'm not quite
in the same boat as you.
- I don't want to burst
your bubble, PK,
but Lisa's not talking to you.
- Well, we'll see. Kenny's
definitely talking to me.
I spoke to him for an hour.
- If my husband did that,
he would've called you,
or I would've called you
and said, "I'm really sorry."
- He didn't mean anything by it.
He apologized to you.
At some point--
- Well, not really.
But I don't care.
- He did, actually.
- That wasn't really an apology.
[dramatic music]
- He didn't mean anything by it.
He apologized to you.
- Well, not really,
but I don't care.
- He did, actually.
- That wasn't really an apology.
- Honey, I'm sorry.
I've apologized. You didn't get
the joke--I accept that.
- My feeling was,
and maybe that's why
I was extra sensitive,
as that he had spoken to Ken,
and all of a sudden,
he was being rude to me.
He was so like,
"Well, I'm good."
- You want to hear something?
He's actually okay
with both of them.
I'm the one
who's ostracized.
- How does that work out
at home?
You guys are connected.
Like, you can't fall out with
Tom and not fall out with Erika,
'cause Erika's gonna show up
at your ----ing door.
- PK adores Dorit,
but it feels like
with this "Lisa and Ken
versus Dorit" situation,
he's kind of playing both sides
of the fence,
which seems
a little strange to me.
- The friendship between him
and Lisa and Ken
is not more important
than my marriage to PK.
- I'm not really sure
what this is,
but Lisa's so trying to protect
the relationship with PK,
and PK's so trying to protect
the relationship with Lisa
because of these common friends.
There's, like, something weird.
Like, there's something else.
I don't know if it's, you know,
business relationships
they're protecting with PK
or that maybe they have secrets
on each other
because they're all from London.
Just something
I could never put my finger on.
- I know it feels weird to you.
All I can tell you
is it's called...
a real friendship,
a deep friendship.
- But a deep friendship
doesn't do that to one another.
That's the point.
- A deep friendship--
I'm better friends
with Lisa than PK.
- I know you think you're better
friends with Lisa than PK--
- I never even heard of you
or PK, sweetheart,
until two years ago.
[indistinct shouting]
I just saying, I never heard
of either one of you.
- People that have known Lisa
for 30 years are in our lives.
- Nothing's changed.
A year ago, these bitches
are fighting about friendship.
- I've been
your friend longer.
- I don't favor Dorit over you
in any shape or form.
- You find the wrong person
to kiss ass to.
I've been here
----ing ten years.
- Guys, Lisa Vanderpump
is not at home
worried
about either one of you.
- When we came to L.A.,
they would see one another,
but it was not a friendship
that you may have heard of.
- Never heard of it, never saw
it at a birthday or a wedding
or an anniversary or a--
- Why would she mention PK
to you?
- Because we're friends!
- Yeah, but, Kyle,
I'm sorry, my darling,
but their friendship is not
based on whether or not
Kyle Richards
has heard about them.
I'm sorry, sweetheart.
- Dorit, if you
and I are very good friends,
you'd know all my friends.
I already know--
- I don't know all your friends!
- Well, maybe we're not
that good of friends.
[dramatic music]
- Well, great.
You just gave me a Lisa line.
Thank you for letting me
know that.
After what
I just went through,
having to have Kyle now on me--
it's just so heavy.
I can't believe where
the conversation's going.
- No, I don't know what--
- You're hurting me right now.
- I'm asking--
- Oh, my God.
- Please, can we stop?
♪ ♪
- I can't wait for this ----ing
trip we're going on.
[laughs]
♪ ♪
- Next on "The Real
Housewives of Beverly Hills"...
- You're going camping
for one night.
- Now I feel totally prepared,
just in case.
- All right, let's get
this show on the road.
- Yes, let's get moving.
[upbeat music]
- Do you want
some Cheez Whiz?
[cash register beeps]
- These cheese balls.
- What about frozen burritos?
- Do you think we have
enough food for one night?
- That's gonna melt it.
[all scream]
- Have you had
a happy-ending massage?
- Yeah.
- [gasps]
- Everyone's judging me.
all: No!
- We want to know more.
- You want to be an asshole,
go be a ----ing asshole.
Period, the end of story.
- I think it was PK acting out
on how he felt.
- And that hurts me.
- You like to talk
out the side of your mouth,
but the second you're
with somebody to their face,
you back down, and you have
a whole new story to play.
- Well, my face
is right here.
- Previously on "The Real
Housewives of Beverly Hills"...
- My husband has an RV.
I think we should do
some sort of road trip.
- I want to go camping.
- It's surreal when you start
to see your kids
become adults.
- Yeah.
- I just feel
like I ----ed up a lot...
with their dad.
- You did the best you could.
- If you're one person
with thousands staring,
like, it can be a little
bit vulnerable.
- You could have issues.
You can't even get on
with your best friend.
- Okay.
- That's not cool.
- Why would he say that to me?
- It was a joke.
- His humor sucks.
- Well, I beg to differ.
- I woke up to an article
from Radar Online,
and I know Lisa
fed that story.
I've had no communication
with Lisa.
- Well, she didn't ask you
to her birthday.
- She shuts down.
She holds her friendship
as ransom.
- She's always been
like that, though.
- They should believe me,
and if they don't,
then I don't really want them
to be part of my life.
It's as simple as that.
- Mm-hmm.
[upbeat music]
- In the game of life,
it's Rinna take all.
♪ ♪
- Most people talk
about their fantasies.
I'm living mine.
♪ ♪
- In business and in life,
I wear many hats
and hairstyles.
- You can stab me in the back,
but whilst you're there,
kiss my ass.
- I'm not afraid of hard work,
but I'll never
do your dirty work.
- My problem
with the tabloids?
My real life
is so much juicier.
- In Beverly Hills,
the truth always has a way
of rising to the top.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- I love this street.
I'll never get tired
of driving down this street.
- I know. I drive this street
almost every single day.
- Mm-hmm.
- These trees...
- It's pretty.
I don't know about you,
but if I don't work out,
I don't feel good.
- I'm cranky.
- Right?
- And I'm a bitch.
- So my friend's studio--
I call it a studio.
It's really a gym.
MERGE--it's incredible.
I was gonna say
you'll end up thin,
but I don't know
that you need thin.
[both laughing]
- Whenever Erika's back in
town between her tour dates,
I always steal her away.
I love the relationship
that I have with Erika,
and, you know,
we've built that over time.
It didn't just happen.
They're not here, and I should
never have said it.
- (BLEEP) you!
They're saying sh-- about her.
Say who told it.
- There's so much of a survivor
and a hustler in Erika
that I so relate to, and I just
get a kick out of her.
- I did a show called "Merge."
- Did you really?
- Yeah, during one of those
moments of, like, you know,
I have one job, but I need
another one
because the one job's not
really cutting it.
- Oh, it had
to be high stress.
- It was tough.
- Right?
- I just constantly talk
about how fortunate we are
and the struggles
we've been through.
- Yeah, the lean years,
you know,
in order to get here.
The thing about Rinna
is that she's fearless.
She's also someone that's not
afraid to admit their faults.
- I'm sorry that I hurt you.
That I am truly sorry for, Kim.
- And I love that about her.
That's a real friend, not
someone that will never admit
that they've done
anything wrong.
You know, "Oh, no, not me.
Not me."
Bullsh--.
Oh, rock-star parking.
♪ ♪
Go on in.
- Ah, this is nice.
- Welcome to MERGE.
- Hi!
- Hi, Lisa.
How are you?
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, hello.
Hi, hi.
- Hi, baby doll.
- How are you?
- All right,
are we rowing first?
- Okay.
- Everybody get strapped in.
Drive hard with your legs back.
When in doubt, just watch Erika.
She has perfect form.
She's been working on--
- I'm just kidding!
[both laughing]
- I followed her exactly!
- And watch the tracking
of your knees.
- Oh, I see.
They're going in, aren't they?
- They're going in, right,
'cause you got weak glutes.
Sorry. Your ass is weak.
- Oh!
- We have
to work on your ass.
- So maybe you can't bounce
a dime on it
like you used
to be able to, honey,
but still, I have
my own workout DVDs.
There you go.
Now I'm hip-hopping.
[hip-hop music]
[laughs]
Get that head in there.
And jump.
Whoop!
♪ ♪
Seven, eight...
You did it.
- We're going on the floor.
- The audacity of this man
is so humiliating. [laughs]
- We're gonna go
X position abs.
You're gonna come up,
right arm to left leg.
- I wonder if this is bad
for my neck Botox.
- It is.
- I know.
- This exercise is called
the neck Botox undoer.
- Does this hurt our Botox
in any way?
- Well, it depends on when
you got it done.
- [laughs]
- Butterfly position
with the feet.
We're gonna do frog pumps.
- For my weak ass.
- This is for your weak ass.
Go down slowly
and then explode up.
So go all the way
down 30 seconds.
- Oh, yeah, that's it.
- Go.
- Lisa, explode.
- Oh, this is super attractive.
- Oh.
- All the way up.
- I haven't ended up on my back
a lot lately, so it's nice.
- All right, uh...
- Oh, I love that about you.
- [laughs]
- Whoo!
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
[car horn honks]
- Hello, how are you?
- Good.
- Have you got ours, then?
- I am ready for you.
I've got one picked out--
kind of a white-gray
combination.
- No, I don't like it.
No, I want whiter.
- Whiter?
- We're in the middle
of the kitchen remodel.
♪ ♪
- How's it going, Todd?
[hammer pounding]
[power tools whirring]
- Oh, my God.
[imitates crunching]
This kitchen is getting
more expensive,
so we need to keep that lid
tightly on that $300,000,
otherwise I'm gonna be
in huge trouble.
- Hey, guys.
- Hi.
- How are you?
Hi.
- So the choice
we had originally
is a little too dark.
We want to go a little whiter.
- A little bit lighter.
- Yep.
- I think I have
a solution for you.
- Go ahead.
I like the solutions.
I think the one
we're gonna choose
is the one that he's
gonna lift his leg on.
Oh, that's it.
That--that's got to be the one.
Why don't we just have a look
at the one that Puffy weed on?
Oh, Puffy, that is magnificent.
But, no, it's not quite right.
- Well, why don't we pull out
a couple of those slabs?
- I think that's a good idea.
I'm gonna go grab the guys, and
we'll pull them out for you.
- Hey, did I tell you PK
called me?
- Yeah.
- I appreciate you,
you know, reaching out
and calling me,
and I have missed you.
And I do love you, PK.
- I want to be back
best friends with you.
Have your people talk
to my people.
- I am my people, PK.
He was so nice.
And I said, "Well,
why don't you come to Pump?"
- I don't see any problem
having lunch with him,
but with Dorit, you won't
get a straight answer.
- It's hard to even have
a conversation about something
that you both disagree on
because it goes
round and round.
I haven't seen Dorit since
Denise's wedding.
- Your breasts
look humongous.
- When I left the house,
they were much smaller.
They all thought I gave
that story to Radar Online.
So I haven't really had
anything to do with her.
- Dorit was, like, devastated.
- You think I'm gonna give
the story to Radar Online?
- That's what
everybody thinks, yes.
- If Dorit's gonna
call me a liar,
then there is no friendship.
I want to be very
clear about that.
Let's go for this.
I think it's beautiful
with the sparkle.
I really do.
- I like it.
- That's so exciting.
- Yeah, it is exciting.
But has the price gone up?
- No, no, it hasn't.
- Well, it depends
on how much you complain.
- Are you kidding me?
No, it--
Like, that piggy bank is empty.
♪ ♪
- Push!
What--
- Hello.
- Oh, my gosh!
- Welcome to Beverly Beach.
- Oh, Matt!
Babies, look how beautiful
Mommy's office is!
I can't believe
it came together.
- You even have pink for me!
- That's right, baby girl.
We put pink for you.
- How are you?
- I came to look around.
I need a Beverly Beach office
because I can't operate
just out of my house.
Try on this set
so I can see it.
Just--you can use this bathroom
right here.
And I'm ready
for this next level.
So, before Daddy gets--
can we just look
at your kids' corner?
- [gasps]
- 'Cause this is officially
Jagger and Phoenix's space.
- But I like quiet zone!
- Growing Beverly Beach has
been like having another child.
You've got your bean bags.
- Mommy!
- And I love that my three
children can play together.
[knock at door]
[gasps]
Welcome to Beverly Beach.
[clapping]
- Did you do--
Did you two do this?
- They definitely helped.
- How's it going?
- Matt.
- I'm Matt.
- This is my husband, PK.
- Nice to meet you.
- PK.
- Thank you.
It's fab.
Love it.
Wow, look at you.
- Isn't it amazing, Bubba?
- I might be able to retire.
Do nothing.
Just leave it to you.
Love it. I love the desk.
It's great.
- Well, I'm off to my next
design emergency.
- Okay.
Matt, thank you, my love.
- My work here is done.
I am done.
- Oh, thank you so much.
Thank you, Matt!
- [laughs]
I wanted to tell you
very quickly,
you know I mentioned
I called LVP.
- Yep.
- We're gonna have
lunch together.
[dramatic music]
- I never, ever thought
that anything would happen
and our friendship
would be dissipated.
Despite all the things
that I believe she's done,
Lisa and I have history.
- We changed the straps out.
- Changed rubber.
[both snickering]
- Never use the same
rubber twice, darling.
- Oh, gosh.
- I love you.
Bye.
[both smooching]
You did a great party.
- Thanks, Bub.
- Dorit has been largely
misunderstood.
She's got
a really good heart,
and she's a really kind,
supportive friend.
- That loving part of me wants
to make things right.
But I'm not gonna sacrifice
my integrity to do that.
- I don't think Kenny's helpful
because he definitely wants
to rehash things.
- Honey, listen to me--you
cannot control anyone else, so--
- of course I can control
everyone else.
I'm a manager.
That's what I'm supposed to do.
- Well, then you can.
I can't.
- No, don't worry about it.
Anyway, I spoke to her.
- But, honey, can I just talk
to you about something
on this topic?
- Yeah.
- The other night when we
were at the concert
and you'd made that throw-away
comment to Kyle,
it was a tad insensitive.
- You could have issues.
You can't even get on
with your best friend,
so you could have issues.
[all shouting]
I love Kyle.
She knows I love her.
I'm happy to apologize.
It was insensitive.
- I'm not asking you
to call her and apologize.
I'm not asking--she said--
I'm just telling you.
- But I'm also not
gonna discuss it
for days and weeks on end.
- Oh, I'm with you on that.
- No chance.
- I'm with you on that, baby.
I'm with you.
It's done.
- Coming up...
- You know,
Miss Vander-fabulous,
she's got too much pride.
that ego and that pride--
she's too prideful.
- Do I need a drink
for this conversation?
- You might.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Where do I go
to the Hollywood sign?
Which way do I go
from your house?
- You can go back
down this way.
- Sophia's coming home
for the weekend.
We're taking our holiday cards.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
This is her--
This is Sophia's, like,
first time back home.
- Aww, she's so cute.
- Have you talked to anybody
since the other night?
- I haven't.
Did Dorit reach out?
- No, which--am I wrong
to think that's weird?
My whole fight has been about
protecting the two of you.
- No.
- I could--
- Your fight has been about
your own personal experiences
and things that are--
- Dorit, you're 100% wrong.
- Anybody that knows you knows
that you're gonna
be hurt by that.
- It cost me, you know,
my friendship with Lisa.
And for you to make
that dig like that,
it's just ----ing rude.
PK's stupid joke is implying
that I did something wrong
and that that's why Lisa
and I aren't speaking.
No, I didn't do anything wrong.
I spoke up and told the truth.
And you should say thank you to
me for that instead, actually.
Whatever.
I will survive.
Let's park here on this little
awkward angle.
- That's fine.
I mean, we have
to park the closest
when we're going
to exercise.
- God forbid I take three
extra steps, Teddi,
and burn a few more calories.
- Nope.
- Yes.
[car beeping]
- Oh, you're really killing it
with the parking.
- Yeah, don't be jealous
of my parking.
- You know what? I'm just--
- Oh! It's fine.
♪ ♪
It's okay.
♪ ♪
I've never been up here.
Look how beautiful this is.
- I know.
- I've never seen this up here.
But if I ever came alone,
I'd picture
myself getting murdered
and then tossed my body
into that lake over there.
- No!
Look at the deer.
- Look how beautiful
they are.
- He just eats something.
He wanted a little snack.
- Cute.
- Me too, Bambi.
- This is what I love
about living in Los Angeles.
You go on hikes, and you see
these beautiful animals.
I love to do stuff like that.
- I love to do things
that I wouldn't normally do,
like the RV trip.
- What's going on
with the RV trip?
- I mean, if we're gonna go,
we have to go soon.
- I do want to pitch a tent.
And don't say the word.
There are children here.
- Boner.
I don't know how far we're
gonna get in this RV.
It is the size of a tour bus.
- Like a Winnebago?
Like you can sleep in it?
- Yes.
There's, like, a king bed
in the back.
There's, like, um--
- How many bedrooms?
Just kidding.
- [laughs]
I love camping 'cause it's
truly about the people
that you're with.
You strip down any of, like,
the high-maintenance B.S.
that sometimes we all get
involved in,
and you're just living, like,
a more simple life,
even if it's only for 24 hours.
- We could, like, cook out
there and drink wine.
I think it'd be so fun.
- Just sit out by the fire,
make s'mores.
- We may be the only one who
thinks it's going to be fun.
You do know that.
- I know.
[laughing] You know, my potluck
turned out so good last year.
- This is the stupidest
sh-- ever.
Somebody's mad 'cause
I slept at the hotel.
- Here's the thing I don't--
- I didn't want to bleed
all over your sheets.
- Oh, my gosh.
- But I'm gonna try again
and take these women
out of their comfort zones and
see if we can all just relax
and have a good time together.
Worst case is one of us
doesn't make it home.
So maybe I should do, like,
a little happy hour
the night before.
- That's a good idea.
Please look at this.
There's a turtle!
- He's very busy.
Okay, let's take a picture.
- Oh, my gosh.
[quirky music]
- That Hollywood sign
never gets old.
This is our home!
- [sighs]
- Holly-weird.
♪ ♪
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- All right.
- Thank you.
- Oh, yeah, of course.
♪ ♪
- Hey, gorgeous.
- Hi, how are you?
- You look amazing as always.
- Oh, you--yeah.
- You're a natural beauty.
- Oh, stop.
- You don't have to work at it.
I do.
- We're in Malibu.
You don't have to wear, like,
the heels and everything.
- I know, I know.
No, no, no.
- You look cute.
- Thanks.
I got to change it up a little,
but I'm gonna take this off.
The wedding's coming up.
It's kind of been a really
hectic time for me.
I'm raising teenagers,
trying to blend a family.
- I know.
It's not easy.
- Like, you know--
- It's an adjustment.
- It's such an adjustment.
- Plus he has kids, too.
- He's got two younger boys.
- Right.
Whoo!
- [laughing]
- Hi, ladies.
both: Hi.
- Do you want a glass
of wine or a cocktail?
- You know what I love here,
is the lemonade.
Thank you.
- I'll have a lemonade, too.
- It's so good here.
- Do you know what you want?
- Yeah, I think the ono.
- I'll get
the grilled artichoke.
And then the apple
and prosciutto salad.
But no prosciutto.
- Okay.
[laughter]
- Sorry. Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- I love this place.
- Do you feel different getting
married now than--Yeah?
- Yeah, it's different
than the first time.
It was David's idea
to have a big wedding.
I wanted something smaller
'cause I've been down
this road before,
and so has he.
But I'm really glad that
he opted for us having
a giant celebration.
It's gonna be amazing.
There's a whole different
vibe to, you know,
marrying an actor who's on
a successful show at the time.
- I first met Camille when she
was married to Kelsey.
So Camille and I have,
for sure, compared notes
going through
very public divorces.
We're definitely survivors.
[laughing]
How was the concert
the other night?
- Oh.
You know...
- Do I need a drink
for this conversation?
- You might.
- Oh, I think I'm gonna order
a Casamigos Reposado,
neat, a single.
- I'll have a martini.
- Okay, I'll get it for you.
- The concert was great.
And then backstage
after the show,
out of nowhere, PK says
something to Kyle referencing
Lisa Vanderpump,
that she can't even keep
her best friend.
But then Dorit came over
to talk to Kyle
to explain things,
and then Teddi just jumped in.
- Then he goes,
"Me and Ken are good.
Me and Vanderpump are good."
- That doesn't matter.
Let me have a conversation
with Kyle for two seconds.
- The way that she just talked
to me was so inappropriate.
- Okay, don't get upset.
Don't get upset.
- I just feel like she's a bit
of a know-it-all.
Teddi needs to take a seat.
Here we go.
Her youth is getting
the best of her.
She sounds like
an entitled millennial.
[dramatic music]
I think Teddi should stay
out of that.
- Huh.
- But there's another side.
There's something about Dorit
that just--
I like Dorit a lot, and
I'm getting to like her more,
but I still have a--I just--
something there.
You know, Miss Vander-fabulous--
that ego and that pride--
she's too prideful.
Wait, wait, wait,
in the Bahamas,
I couldn't believe the stuff
that Rinna was saying.
Dorit called me
a (BLEEP) last year,
so I had my issues with her.
You ever feel
like somebody's phony,
but you want to believe
them so badly?
- Camille just can't shut
her piehole.
And it's making me feel like,
one, she's gonna be talking
about me next.
- It's like being back
in high school
with the mean girls.
- Except I didn't even
do this in high school.
It's so weird.
It puts me in a very
compromising position
because I love all these ladies
and I don't want to tell them
what she's saying because
I don't want to, like,
have everything
----ing blow up.
Is everyone gonna be fighting
on this RV trip?
Because we're gonna be stuck
in a tin can driving.
- [laughs] It's gonna be
the RV from hell.
- Well, maybe it'll be
a bonding experience.
- [laughs]
- Coming up...
- Everybody's been focused
on Radar Online.
- It's very difficult
for me to believe
that you had nothing
to do with that.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- All right.
- I'm glad I put this in.
- I know.
I like the gate.
Oh, baby, we get to see
the sunrise.
- It's beautiful.
- Eloise is still sleeping,
so I might have to have you
take Lola, if you don't mind.
Before the morning chaos starts,
we wake up at 5:00,
we have a little hanky panky,
and then get into taking care
of the kids,
having our coffee, gym,
and getting them to school.
All right,
let's go make breakfast.
Give me a kiss, baby.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Sh--.
[mutters angrily]
♪ ♪
Don't any of you eat that food.
Portia, can you wake up,
please?
I have always done
attachment parenting.
We love having the kids
sleep with us.
We always have.
Farrah and Alexia decided
around eight years old
that they wanted to sleep
on their own.
Sophia was about ten,
and Portia still sleeps
with us at ten years old.
Not the best idea.
We find our alone time when we
want it and we need it,
and, hey, we're happy.
[smooching]
Don't forget--look,
I don't want your egg
to get cold, okay?
- Mm.
- Okay, angel?
I'm gonna put the lights
on brighter, okay?
I don't think
I'm spoiling Portia.
I'm taking care of her.
I'm her mother.
I have to wake her up. I got
to get her ready for school.
I've got to make her breakfast.
It's my job.
Portia!
- What are you doing,
cutie pie?
I'm making you a sandwich.
- The girls really love Aaron.
He's an amazing cook.
They actually like his food
way better than mine.
[door creaking]
Sami.
- What?
- Do you have any
of her clothes?
- No.
- Yeah, you have my pants.
- Well, I just bought these.
These are not for you.
- Don't fight.
+- She won't get
out of my closet.
- Yeah, 'cause I need
something to wear.
- You guys, stop fighting.
Parenting teenagers
is challenging.
[door creaks]
- Baby?
- Yes?
- We need Michael to go
shopping and get some stuff.
- Shut her door.
Lola?
They're pushing the boundaries
for independence,
which is hard for me as a mom,
trying to figure out
where I pick my battles.
- Stop!
You have your own!
♪ ♪
- Sometimes it's better to let
two people work it out
I don't know.
I'm still figuring it out.
[laughing] There's no real
handbook, I think, on it.
Eloise, can I brush your hair?
We got to brush your hair
a little bit.
I'm gonna run to the bathroom,
and then I'm ready.
[hair dryer whirring]
- Thank you, Mommy.
- You're welcome, honey.
Get your socks and shoes on.
- My sockies and shoesies.
- [sighs]
I think it's important
for children
to know that they are the most
important people in your life.
Can you please just take
two bites of these
so I don't stress?
Something, so you have food
in your stomach?
My world revolves around them.
What can I say?
I think they like it that way.
You literally have, like,
two more minutes.
Just give me your feet.
We do not have time.
- [muttering]
- Give me your other foot.
Well, we don't have time,
and you have to eat something.
- I had a bite of eggs.
- That is the bite?
Portia.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- I love this orange and pink.
Oh, my God, I almost want
to keep it like this.
This is so sweet.
Ken, PK and Dorit are coming by,
and they're coming for lunch
And obviously we're
not open for lunch.
And people are more pissed
off when they're hungry,
so I don't know what
we're gonna do.
Maybe get some sushi.
- Can we get some sushi?
- Of course.
- This lunch is maybe
a conduit
to put the friendship
back together.
I think we could find
a middle ground.
If she says to me,
"I don't believe that.
I love you.
Let's move past this,"
then we're kind of
in harmony again.
- How you feeling, baby?
- I feel fine.
We're going to make
things better.
So, on that basis,
I feel good about it.
- I still have to be true
to myself, PK.
And sometimes you can be
in a friendship
and have a difference
of opinion.
But if both people want
to try and find a way forward,
then there's that possibility.
- Ultimately,
I'd like you two ladies
to try and find a compromise
so we can go back
to enjoying our friendship.
And I'm gonna leave
a lot of this to you.
[dramatic music]
- And let's put roses
on there as well.
All right, perfect.
- Thank you, Latine.
- Hey, PK.
- How are you?
- Good.
- Congratulations on this.
- Thank you.
- Exciting, huh?
- Hi, Dorit.
- Hi, Lisa.
- Hi.
[both smooching]
Oh, we're just having
fun tonight.
It really isn't like--
- An Indian palace
- We're just having some fun.
- What, you're celebrating
gay rights in India?
- Yeah, they decriminalized
homosexuality.
- Amazing.
- So, you know, if you go
to India, you're gonna be fine.
- Well, I hope--yeah, exactly.
I hope you're gonna be playing
George's "Hare Krishna".
How you doing?
You okay?
- Yeah, I'm good.
How are you?
- Yeah, good.
I think you've can tell we've
been downgraded as friends
'cause we haven't got
the prime seat anymore.
- Oh.
[dramatic music]
- You felt like
me this morning.
You felt cold.
I woke up freezing.
- I've been feeling cold
for a few weeks, PK.
- Well, you've been feeling
no warmth.
- I've been feeling
kind of frozen out.
♪ ♪
- Coming up...
- I can put this behind us.
I want to more than anything.
- If you believe I gave
the story to Radar Online,
we don't have a friendship.
[upbeat music]
- Cheers.
[glasses clinking]
♪ ♪
- I love you.
- Ooh.
He got a smile
and an "I love you."
I got a--
- Oh, Dorit,
I haven't really been happy.
You know, look,
everybody's been confused
on Radar Online.
- So why did you call TMZ
instead of calling me?
- Why wouldn't you call her?
- Oh, my God, I went to TMZ
to say, "This isn't true,"
for God's sake.
That's a much bigger statement
than going, "Hi, Dorit."
- Lisa, we're friends.
Lisa should have called to
check how I was doing
to discuss this article, saying
what an outrage this is.
We don't talk via the public.
We don't talk via the media.
We talk within one another.
- I was basically defending you,
but, unfortunately, you might
find out too late that
I've been in your corner.
- She went Radar Online.
She gave a story that
was false
so that she can then come in
and be the hero and defend me.
- If I was you, I would've
said...
- I would have said,
"Thanks for doing that."
- "Thanks for doing that.
That was amazing."
- Because she wants to turn
around and say,
"You see?
I'm the one who saved you."
You have to understand it's
very difficult for me
to believe that you had nothing
to do with that.
- I'm sorry, I've got to draw
a line in the sand.
If you believe I gave the story
to Radar Online,
we don't have a friendship.
[dramatic music]
- It hurts me that you can look
me in the eye and you can say,
"If you believe this,
then there's no friendship."
- It's true.
I stand by that.
What do you want me to do?
You want me to take
a lie-detector test?
- No, I don't want you
to take a lie-detector test.
- Why can't we just say,
"Look, somewhere in the mix
"this thing got ----ed up?
Can we please eradicate it,
erase it, and move forward?"
- You can only flip forward
with Lisa and me
if you understand
that Lisa never, ever lies.
She's the best friend
you will ever have,
and if she doesn't believe her,
no friendship.
♪ ♪
- You're trying to control
our thoughts.
- Of course I am.
- Ken.
- I'm trying to convince you
that my wife
is the most honest person
you'll ever meet in your life.
- What's the point of having
a friendship with somebody
who's saying,
"Oh, let's be friends.
"Oh, let's have lunch,
shall we, Lisa?
Yeah, let's do that,
but I think you're a liar"?
No.
Guess what.
If I was you, I wouldn't want
to be friends with a liar,
so why do you?
- So you care enough about this
that you want to do away
with a friendship
that I believe is stronger
and more powerful
than this incident?
And that saddens me.
I'm not used to it.
- Sad to me that all my friends
sit there and go,
"Yeah, let's bring the gavel
down on her."
She's as guilty as (BLEEP)
because that's
what we're saying.
- I haven't gotten any of that.
I can still say
that this happened,
but I still love you enough
and care for you enough
that I can put this behind us.
I want to
more than anything.
- You're still saying
you don't believe her.
- Ken, we can agree to disagree.
- No, we can't.
- We don't have to ruin
a friendship over this.
It's bullsh--.
Move on. You're being
too extreme, Kenny.
- No, I'm not.
- You are.
You're being too black
and white.
- No, I'm not.
I know you're trying hard.
But your wife
isn't trying hard.
- No, but you're not
trying hard either.
- That's not fair, because,
Kenny, I am trying hard.
- If you think she's lying,
you can't be a friend of hers.
- Well, yeah, I've been told
that now five times.
At what point is it gonna get
through to me, PK?
- Careful.
- Because I can only hear
that someone doesn't want
to be my friend for so long,
and then it's kind of like,
I feel like the idiot.
- I don't think Lisa and Kenny
don't want to be our friends.
And I definitely know that
we want to be your friends.
- And we love you dearly.
- Do you believe it?
- I believe that someone in
your camp leaked that story.
[suspenseful music]
- I'm telling you,
on my kids' life,
I didn't give that story.
and I don't know who did.
Right? Okay.
- Okay, then at that point,
I would accept that.
- Okay, but your wife won't.
- Well, my wife's got--
I don't control my wife.
I'm a trusting person.
And also, I'm a very
forgiving person.
- I'm with your husband.
- Don't take longer
to come down.
- When you say, "If Lisa says
this, you should accept it--"
- Yeah, I don't need
to come down--I don't.
You're asking me
to dig deep
and to not be true to myself.
- No, I'm not.
- That's what you're
asking me to do.
- I believe if Lisa Vanderpump
is sitting here
and saying, "I swear
on my kids' life,
I did not give that story,"
you have to accept that.
- Or know anybody that did.
- You have to accept that.
- Or know anybody that did.
- That is moving on, okay?
- PK...
- Oh, this is painful.
- No.
I care enough
about our friendship
that I know it has to be
based on honesty.
- Go on, say it.
Say it.
- Much like I believe you
had something to do
with the initial story
and the John, period.
- Well,
you're no friend of mine.
I'm going.
- Okay.
- PK, I'd like to stay
friends with you.
- I love you, PK.
- After that, no way.
- I love you.
Love you.
- Well, PK, it looks like
you're having dinner with them
alone from now on.
It's okay, PK.
I don't have friends
that tell me that.
- Isn't it helpful
what you just said.
- Well, I've said it all along.
It's not fair the position
you're putting me in.
- No, I don't feel I'm putting
you in any position.
I love you.
I support you always.
I'm advising you--when someone's
swearing on their life,
do you not understand you have
to accept that?
- Honey, I am not gonna beg
for someone's friendship
when they've told me
it's this condition.
- This is why I haven't
been around them.
- Eh, a load of rubbish.
- Forget it.
This gives me
too much anxiety.
The fact that Dorit's kind
of taking this stance
has basically ended
the whole bloody thing.
Come on.
Let's go through this.
I don't really care,
quite frankly.
That's the problem,
is that I don't care.
- PK, I don't want to sit
in their restaurant
when I've just had that--
I want to get up and go.
- All righty.
- I'm finishing a song here.
- You are? Listen.
Do you think we should do
a bit of a check?
- Lisa.
- Yes, hon.
- Yes, we should.
[dramatic music]
- Yeah?
- You stated your case.
I respect whatever you decide.
- It's fine.
- But I want
to tell you this, Lisa.
And I mean this into my heart.
- Yeah.
- I love you.
I want to move past it.
- I don't want love like that
if you don't believe me.
- Lisa...
- I don't want love like that.
- Friendships
are not based on--
- They are based
on honesty, Dorit.
- Exactly,
and I'm being honest.
I'm being honest, Lisa.
- [sighs] Okay.
- I still want
to move forward, honey.
I still want to try and--
- With somebody that you
think's lying to you?
- Yes.
- Oh, okay.
- Yes.
- I love you.
Great.
- How can you say you love me?
- Well, I actually don't.
- Well, then don't say it!
That's the first time
you've lied?
- Yes, that was
the first time I've lied.
- Okay, well--
- Okay.
- It's suddenly becoming
very clear.
Lisa is still holding a grudge
for me calling her needy
of love and attention.
She needs a lot of attention.
She just does.
I think that goes
back to the fact
that her parents didn't
give her much attention
and she wasn't told,
"I love you."
Even though I apologized
seven million times.
I love you, and I would never,
ever, ever say
or do something
to hurt you.
Our relationship--
our friendship means too much.
You can't do it to me!
I am eternally sorry.
- She's, like,
really been remorseful.
- Very.
- So, at some point,
you got to move on, right?
Otherwise you're accused
of holding a grudge.
- This is payback.
Hey, remember last year?
There you go.
I need to go. I don't know if
you're coming with me or not.
- All right, I'm coming
with you--I'm coming with you.
- Let me just go on
with my life, okay?
- Exactly.
Exactly.
- It's easier
bloody talking at Congress
than it is talking
to that stupid cow.
- Coming up...
- The gate open?
- God damn it.
- Honey, run!
- Get in the house!
- Who the (BLEEP)
opened the gate?
[upbeat music]
- Ay! Ay! Ay!
- Sorry.
- Don't hurt me.
- Well, I'm trying not to.
But Jesus.
- Why are you so aggressive?
- Because I'm in a hurry.
- Ow!
- What?
- Are you kidding me?
- You're sweating.
- I am sweating!
- This is called
a nail clipper.
What is wrong with you?
- Aah!
- As long as my husband
is in this house with me,
I will never have
an empty nest.
- Aah!
- My job will never be done.
- She's told me she would
do this nicely,
and then she got aggressive
with it.
- I never said nicely.
I said, "I'll do it."
We don't have time.
We're doing our holiday cards.
- Oh, my God.
- Portia...
Will you file
Dad's fingernails?
- Mm, no.
[doorbell buzzes]
- See? The photographer's here.
Oh, my God.
Can someone get the gate?
Oh, hi.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Sorry. I'm just trying not
to let my dogs out.
- Okay.
- This is not what I'm wearing.
Don't worry.
Get back, guys.
- Okay, what kind of colors are
you thinking about wearing?
- Jeans and a white shirt.
When I was growing up,
my mom would try to get
some holidays cards,
but they weren't,
like, professional ones.
Then when I had my kids,
it became, like, a big thing.
And I'll just keep on going
until they grow up
and leave the house.
And then I'll probably keep
doing that when they have kids
because we're a family.
That's what you do.
- Let's go frame it up.
- Okay. Thanks.
[dynamic music]
[dog barks]
- Stop barking, Romeo.
- [whispering]
That dog's gonna--
- Are you happy to sleep
in your own bed for once?
- So happy.
- Is that the most you've slept
since you've been in college?
- Mm-hmm.
- Sophia and I talk
three times a day.
I want to make sure that
my daughter is being healthy
and responsible, which she
is extremely responsible.
- What time
have you been going to bed?
- Like, 6:00 a.m.
- Are you trying to kill me?
- Hello?
- Hello.
- Hi!
- Hi, honey. How are you?
- Good. How are you?
- Good. [smooches]
- What?
- Hi, Porsh-y.
- You have a lot of clothes.
- I thought this was starting,
like, right now.
It's 10:32.
- Ugh, we always have
to pad it.
Okay, I'm gonna go
get dressed, then.
♪ ♪
- What are we all wearing?
- Jeans and...
I need you in jeans
and a button-down white shirt.
- Got it.
♪ ♪
- Your sisters are actually
killing me right now.
- Girls!
What are you guys doing?
Let's go.
- Can't you see I'm trying to
create some happy memories here?
[laughing]
What is wrong with you people?
- If we had more time,
I would love to get more shots
just for you guys,
but hard stop.
- I know. I know.
- There, perfect.
- Yeah.
Okay, Bambi, sit.
Now where's my husband?
- Let's see,
is the family down?
- Everybody say
"happy holidays"!
- Merry Christmas!
Happy holidays!
- Dad.
- Bambi!
[whistles]
- The gate open?
- Yeah.
- They're gonna get
out of the gate.
- Hey, Storm! Storm!
- Honey, run!
- Oh, God, no, Romeo!
No! No, Romeo, no!
- God damn it.
- You guys, help me.
♪ ♪
- No, River!
River, no!
- Who the (BLEEP)
opened the gate?
- Get in the house!
- [laughing]
We're just watching.
- What do we do?
I don't know.
- Romeo, get in the house!
Get in the house right now!
You are a very bad boy.
Get in the house.
- Has this happened before?
- All the time. Yeah.
- Get over here right now!
Now I'm sweating my balls off.
- Oh, my God.
- I always feel like my life
is like Whac-A-Mole.
You know, it's like,
you pop one thing,
and then another one pops us.
I'm just like this all day long
Everybody in position, please.
That's my life.
- You can't see the sweat.
- All right, everybody
take a deep breath.
Here we go, everybody.
Quick test.
[laughter]
- Happy ----ing holidays.
- Merry Chris--happy holidays.
- Whoo!
- Here we go.
Everybody hold real still.
Good. Everybody smile at me.
Gorgeous.
- Ah. Brutal.
- That was good. We got it.
- Wasn't that fun?
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- So I think, like,
we're pretty much set.
Oh, you guys
already opened the wines.
- Yeah.
- Y'all are pros.
Me trying to do that, anyway,
would've a disaster.
Last time, I got my finger
caught in there.
My whole MO for having
a nice catered dinner
and the women
being taken care of
is because it's gonna be--
newsflash, once we go camping,
gonna have to do it yourself.
♪ ♪
- Oh, God.
(BLEEP).
♪ ♪
- I don't have any--
What's it called?
Things that go
under the plates.
- Chargers.
- It's fine.
- Chargers.
- That's just fancy stuff
you don't need.
- I can't do it.
[doorbell rings]
Hello.
- Hi!
- Can you even with the--
- I can--I'm not--
I can't quite get over it.
- It's a thing.
- Come in.
- That RV situation.
I think I'm really stressed out
about it.
I am. I'm stressed out
about camping.
I'm not gonna lie.
- What part is stressing you?
- The whole thing.
Being cold's number one.
I don't like to be
uncomfortable.
Who likes to be uncomfortable?
No one.
I have to see this--
Oh, God.
- It's a two-person tent.
- No ----ing way. Is it?
- Yeah.
The mosquitoes can't get you.
But the bears can.
- You just could not get me
to do this.
Number two is I don't like
to be trapped with anybody,
and I feel like I will be
trapped with these women.
That might be number one.
[laughs]
♪ ♪
- Hello?
both: Hello!
- Hi!
- Hi!
- How are you?
- You look beautiful.
- Oh, my God,
you look gorgeous.
♪ ♪
- Come on in.
- Hello?
[laughs]
- Hello!
- Oh, hi!
- [laughs] Hi.
- I don't like having
an awkwardness with my friends.
I'm trying not to let my anger
towards PK
run into my feelings
towards Dorit.
But I was really upset
the other night,
and I think I had
every right to be.
♪ ♪
- Hey.
- Hello!
- Oh, hi.
- Hi!
- Hey.
- What do we wear up there?
- I'm wearing
----ing sweats, man.
- That's what I would say.
- Listen, this is no glamour.
- No glam.
- No.
- Hey, girls!
- Hello. Good.
- Hey.
- You look great.
- Hello.
- Hi, honey.
both: Mwah.
- All right, careful.
- Thank you.
[doorbell rings,
indistinct chatter]
- Hello!
- Hello.
- Come on in.
- Hi, girls.
- Hi!
- Hello.
- Would you like chicken
or salmon for dinner?
- How is it prepared, babe?
Chicken how?
- The chicken is gonna be
the chicken paillard.
- Oh, I like
chicken paillard.
- So I believe there's
three tents...
- Yeah.
- With...
room for two
and then the RV.
- How many of us are going?
- We're all going.
- I mean, I'm assuming
Lisa Vanderpump's not coming--
I'm assuming.
- I mean, she didn't even text
me back about tonight,
so I doubt it.
- Has anybody heard from her?
- She texted me to invite me
to the party that she had.
The decriminalization
of homosexuality in India.
[traditional Indian music
playing]
♪ ♪
[man singing
in native language]
♪ ♪
- She invited you
to a party?
- Well, I said,
"Thanks so much. I can't--"
You know? "I hope to see you.
Like, how have you been?"
- Well...
[chuckles]
We had lunch--
PK, Ken, Lisa, and I.
The essence of it was,
"You either admit now
"that Lisa had nothing
to do with this,
or you are not our friend."
- [gasps]
Really?
- She needs to just apologize.
- [scoffs] That's funny.
- [laughs]
- Denise, are you
a comedian, too, now?
- Denise--
[laughter]
- You got to be okay
with not being perfect.
And Lisa Vanderpump
can't do that.
- Do you have a hard time saying
you're sorry?
- I don't know.
- Yolanda's nodding.
- Well, if everybody says that,
then I must.
- It's so easy
to just say, "I ----ed up."
How hard is that?
Did I disappear? No.
Did I go up in smoke? No.
- Solid cheers. Thank you.
- Thank you for having us.
- So, Dorit, what happened
at the end?
Like, how did it end?
- How does PK feel?
What's the end takeaway?
- He is the eternal optimist.
And I'm sure
he'll continue to try.
- Why does he try so hard
with Lisa?
Like, for example,
PK's reaction the other night--
he was so like,
"Well, my friendship's fine
I spoke to Kenny."
- I'm not quite
in the same boat as you.
- I don't want to burst
your bubble, PK,
but Lisa's not talking to you.
- Well, we'll see. Kenny's
definitely talking to me.
I spoke to him for an hour.
- If my husband did that,
he would've called you,
or I would've called you
and said, "I'm really sorry."
- He didn't mean anything by it.
He apologized to you.
At some point--
- Well, not really.
But I don't care.
- He did, actually.
- That wasn't really an apology.
[dramatic music]
- He didn't mean anything by it.
He apologized to you.
- Well, not really,
but I don't care.
- He did, actually.
- That wasn't really an apology.
- Honey, I'm sorry.
I've apologized. You didn't get
the joke--I accept that.
- My feeling was,
and maybe that's why
I was extra sensitive,
as that he had spoken to Ken,
and all of a sudden,
he was being rude to me.
He was so like,
"Well, I'm good."
- You want to hear something?
He's actually okay
with both of them.
I'm the one
who's ostracized.
- How does that work out
at home?
You guys are connected.
Like, you can't fall out with
Tom and not fall out with Erika,
'cause Erika's gonna show up
at your ----ing door.
- PK adores Dorit,
but it feels like
with this "Lisa and Ken
versus Dorit" situation,
he's kind of playing both sides
of the fence,
which seems
a little strange to me.
- The friendship between him
and Lisa and Ken
is not more important
than my marriage to PK.
- I'm not really sure
what this is,
but Lisa's so trying to protect
the relationship with PK,
and PK's so trying to protect
the relationship with Lisa
because of these common friends.
There's, like, something weird.
Like, there's something else.
I don't know if it's, you know,
business relationships
they're protecting with PK
or that maybe they have secrets
on each other
because they're all from London.
Just something
I could never put my finger on.
- I know it feels weird to you.
All I can tell you
is it's called...
a real friendship,
a deep friendship.
- But a deep friendship
doesn't do that to one another.
That's the point.
- A deep friendship--
I'm better friends
with Lisa than PK.
- I know you think you're better
friends with Lisa than PK--
- I never even heard of you
or PK, sweetheart,
until two years ago.
[indistinct shouting]
I just saying, I never heard
of either one of you.
- People that have known Lisa
for 30 years are in our lives.
- Nothing's changed.
A year ago, these bitches
are fighting about friendship.
- I've been
your friend longer.
- I don't favor Dorit over you
in any shape or form.
- You find the wrong person
to kiss ass to.
I've been here
----ing ten years.
- Guys, Lisa Vanderpump
is not at home
worried
about either one of you.
- When we came to L.A.,
they would see one another,
but it was not a friendship
that you may have heard of.
- Never heard of it, never saw
it at a birthday or a wedding
or an anniversary or a--
- Why would she mention PK
to you?
- Because we're friends!
- Yeah, but, Kyle,
I'm sorry, my darling,
but their friendship is not
based on whether or not
Kyle Richards
has heard about them.
I'm sorry, sweetheart.
- Dorit, if you
and I are very good friends,
you'd know all my friends.
I already know--
- I don't know all your friends!
- Well, maybe we're not
that good of friends.
[dramatic music]
- Well, great.
You just gave me a Lisa line.
Thank you for letting me
know that.
After what
I just went through,
having to have Kyle now on me--
it's just so heavy.
I can't believe where
the conversation's going.
- No, I don't know what--
- You're hurting me right now.
- I'm asking--
- Oh, my God.
- Please, can we stop?
♪ ♪
- I can't wait for this ----ing
trip we're going on.
[laughs]
♪ ♪
- Next on "The Real
Housewives of Beverly Hills"...
- You're going camping
for one night.
- Now I feel totally prepared,
just in case.
- All right, let's get
this show on the road.
- Yes, let's get moving.
[upbeat music]
- Do you want
some Cheez Whiz?
[cash register beeps]
- These cheese balls.
- What about frozen burritos?
- Do you think we have
enough food for one night?
- That's gonna melt it.
[all scream]
- Have you had
a happy-ending massage?
- Yeah.
- [gasps]
- Everyone's judging me.
all: No!
- We want to know more.
- You want to be an asshole,
go be a ----ing asshole.
Period, the end of story.
- I think it was PK acting out
on how he felt.
- And that hurts me.
- You like to talk
out the side of your mouth,
but the second you're
with somebody to their face,
you back down, and you have
a whole new story to play.
- Well, my face
is right here.