The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2010–…): Season 9, Episode 1 - Lucy Lucy Apple Juicy - full transcript
Erika is excited when Lisa Rinna introduces her friend, famous actress Denise Richards, to the group. Lisa Vanderpump struggles to come to terms with her grief after a personal tragedy. At ...
- No, no, no, no, no.
Who says that? Say it.
- Everybody.
- This is a big shock to me.
- It's so blatant.
- I've done nothing wrong.
Kyle, I swear
on my children's life...
- If I did something wrong,
that doesn't mean
you wouldn't love me.
- I am not going to say "Yes,
I did something"
if I didn't do it.
Whatever.
- I didn't come here to fight.
- You came here
to tell me I am a liar.
- You're not her friend.
- I just want her to be honest.
- She would never say
that about you.
- No, with you too.
- Maybe you care more
about your image
than your friendships.
- You are not her friend.
- Ken, stop it.
- Yes, I ----ing am.
- Good-bye, Kyle.
- Get the (BLEEP)
out of my house.
[voice breaking] I swear to
you, I'm done with her.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- What's up, chicky-boom-booms?
Ooh, are you making
some breakfast?
- Don't get too excited.
Nothing extravagant.
Are you guys gonna be
around on the weekend
when I'm having friends over?
- Yeah. I can grace you
with my presence.
- You're so generous.
I love how thoughtful you are.
- I know.
- Time to get up.
♪ ♪
Amelia!
Amelia.
Time for yoga!
[hip-hop beats]
♪ ♪
- You're such a good boy,
aren't you?
Yes. You're my friend,
aren't you?
[text message swooshes]
It's Kyle.
Saturday, pool party
around 1:00 p.m.
You want to go
to Kyle's pool party?
♪ ♪
- Whoo!
Oh, my goodness.
- [imitates explosions]
Oh!
- Whoo!
- [indistinct]
- Oh!
- Wait. Forgot something.
- Auntie Kyle is having
a pool party.
- No. We have to go
on the rocket ship ride.
- Oh. Okay. Seatbelt on.
[both imitating whooshing]
Whoa!
- [imitating turbulence]
- Whoa!
- Oh, my goodness!
♪ ♪
[phone chimes]
♪ ♪
[phone rings]
- Hey. Are you eating
your oatmeal, or just grapes?
- Just grapes.
- Just grapes?
Can you eat oatmeal too?
- No.
- What if I feed you
like you're a little baby?
Ready?
Okay, I guess I'll just eat it.
- Eat it.
- No!
We recently moved
into a new house
five houses away
from our old house
because my husband has been
stalking it
for years because of the view.
We live right down the street.
We just walked over...
- Wow.
- Because he's been obsessing
over this house for a while.
And, well, it went on the
market,
so guess who had to buy it.
Cruz.
- Hi, baby.
- How was Barry's?
- Our Sunday workout,
hiking, and then doing
this back-to-back killed me.
- Yeah.
- Hi, mama.
- Don't leave your sweaty towel
right here.
- Sorry.
- Ew.
- Hi, mama. [smooches]
- It's a modern home,
4,500 square feet,
five beds, 5 1/2 baths.
I'm kind of in love with it.
So kiddos have camp.
It's Tuesday,
so everything's crazy for me,
because all the clients' photos
come in.
The past year has been
amazing business-wise.
I have over 30 coaches,
over 500 clients--
It's crazy. I can't
grow fast enough.
- Look at this cute shirt.
- Hold up. She took my shirt.
I'm like,
"How does my shirt fit you?"
It's a total
learning curve for me,
managing my own business while
being a mother and a wife.
- This is a mess.
- I got to just remind myself,
"Balance."
That's your clothes.
- I know.
- [laughs] You're like,
"Who made this mess?
Oh. Me."
- Me.
♪ ♪
- Got my long sleeves
all ready. [laughs]
- This is a good idea.
How did you guys
find out about this?
- It's, like, a thing.
- Hi.
- Hi. Say hi.
- Hi.
- Oh, I want her.
- Hello. Hello, my gorgeous.
Every moment that I get
to spend with the girls
is that much more important
right now
because
they are traveling so much.
Look at your skin.
It looks glowing.
- Look at how bad mine is.
I usually have glowing skin.
- Delilah was just on
"Marie Claire Malaysia,"
the beauty issue,
and Amelia just came out
in her second
Hudson Jeans campaign.
I mean, amazing.
- Welcome to goat yoga.
Let's take a deep inhale.
Sweep your arms up.
Join the palm, and then exhale.
Bring your hands
to heart center.
[laughs] Just--
just remember to honor
your body during this class.
If you want to add a few
chaturangas in or vinyasas,
then do so, and then
let's start on all fours.
Good. And then
we're gonna do a few cat-cows.
Drop the navel,
lift the gaze for your cow.
- It is like one of the
funniest, weird
LA,
like, things I've ever done.
And I've done
a lot of weird things.
- Take a deep inhale
through your nose.
[goat grunts]
- [laughs]
- Fill yourself up and exhale.
- Oh, no, no! [laughs]
- And [inaudible]
the spine.
[laughter]
- One more time.
Inhale, re-extend,
lift your head towards the--
- [screams]
- [laughs]
- Oh! Are you all right?
- One down.
- Two down?
You can lie on the mat
and play with the goats.
- She's fearless. Look at her.
Bam!
So are you gonna
go back to New York?
- I'm probably gonna move back
here, so I'm just gonna go
and, like, meet some
modeling people out there.
- Last year, Delilah
went to New York.
So how does it feel so far,
just for this first week
in your apartment?
- I don't know.
I just get scared.
- But she came to realize
that it was lonely.
Am I thrilled
that she wants to move back?
Abso----ing-lutely.
- I want to get an apartment
somewhere, but, like...
- You don't have to rush.
- No offense.
I enjoy seeing you guys,
but I don't know
if I want to live with you.
- I don't blame you.
- Because I don't get
as much freedom.
- I don't blame you.
- But I'll probably stay
at home for a little bit.
- Okay.
Harry and I
are so proud of Delilah,
because at 11 years old,
Delilah couldn't even
leave the house
because of her extreme anxiety.
She said to me,
"I'm not getting on the bus
to go to school."
- My gosh.
- So considering
that she moved
across country for a year,
this is a huge win for her.
I think it's a good idea
that I'm taking a step back.
- It is, and it makes me
feel more, like,
in charge and responsible.
- And that's what I want
to happen for you now too.
That's why I didn't come
to your shoot
in New York, only for a second.
- It's just uncomfortable,
'cause
nobody else's parents go.
- There you go.
- Do you know what I mean?
- I think it's surreal
watching the girls grow up,
'cause it goes by like that.
- It's so comfy.
- Oh, I'm gonna cry.
- Whee.
- Oh, let me do a video.
And all of a sudden,
they don't need me
as much as I would like.
I'm proud of you both,
how you move through the world
and how nice you are
to everybody
and how professional you are.
- You're making me
uncomfortable.
These types of encounters
make me uncomfortable.
[laughter]
- Coming up...
- When you're only
two siblings,
and you've never
known anybody else,
and then suddenly they're
gone...
It's been very difficult.
[sunny music]
♪ ♪
- Good little ponies. Come on.
You're a good little pony--no.
No. Diamonds,
be a good little pony.
Don't you be putting your butt
in my face. No.
♪ ♪
- Here we are. That's yours.
- Thank you.
Oh, no, boys.
You're not having biscuits.
- Come on.
He's a bit
better today, isn't he?
But his nose is still running.
- He's still got a cold.
He worries me so much, though.
- He's got a bad heart, baby.
- Giggy has had
these fainting fits.
He had to be in an incubator,
and he had
to have heart monitors,
and it's basically
his heart's slowing down,
so we have to give him CPR,
massage his heart
to bring him back.
- Couldn't imagine losing him
just after you
lost your brother.
- You know,
when you're only two siblings
and you've never known
anybody else,
and then suddenly,
they're gone...
It's been three months
since
the passing of my brother.
It's still so fresh.
You know, so many people,
you see it lately,
have taken their lives.
There's a lot of people
that say
taking your life is selfish.
I've never felt that.
But I know my brother
well enough to know
that my brother
didn't mean to do this.
It was a cry for help
that went horribly wrong.
I took the photograph
off my desk,
because I felt...
just to see it every day,
it just kind of put me
in a...
- I know.
[stirring music]
♪ ♪
Remember, he's the one
who introduced us as well.
- My brother was kind of my
partner in crime growing up,
but we did used to torture
each other all the time.
[sighs]
Well, whatever happens,
you know,
it was just the two of us.
- You seem a bit better today.
- I think work's good
distraction, really, isn't it?
- It's the best distraction
there is, really.
- I decided that, two days
after the funeral,
I had to get back to work,
'cause I hadn't been
in our business.
It's just every time
somebody brings it up,
then I feel more emotional.
I'm kind of pretty good now
if I don't talk about it.
I'm a strong woman. I can cope.
But I was never
prepared for this,
and it's been very difficult.
Very difficult.
- You grieved properly
for a month,
and then you come out and
carry on with life, you know?
Even if you're unhappy.
You can't grieve for the rest
of your life, can you, really?
- I think you'll always grieve
for the rest of your life.
♪ ♪
[pumping dance music]
♪ ♪
[doorbell rings]
- Is it locked?
Hello.
- I'm rung it 'cause
the last time I came,
the dogs just sprinted out.
- I know. They're always do.
Hi.
- Hi.
- How are you?
- I'm good.
- Are you sore?
- I am so sore from yesterday.
What is wrong with me?
- Maybe it had something to do
with trying to show off
in front of Justin Bieber--
just, you know.
- Well, I did a little bit.
- We're at a boxing class
fangirling over Justin Bieber.
Then I see Kyle.
Like, she's like this.
- Like, I could have gone like
this and touched him,
but I didn't,
'cause I'm mature.
I'm still having issues
with my eye.
My one eye is bigger
than the other.
It's, like,
tickling on this side.
- That means it's probably
going through.
- How can I walk around
like this?
- No, it doesn't look that bad
right now.
It looks better than yesterday.
- I suffer from generalized
anxiety disorder.
It would be your thyroid,
it could be...
- Now, now...
- Botox, it could be
a brain tumor.
My two parents passed away
from cancer,
so when something goes wrong,
I automatically
imagine the worst.
People are saying,
"You need to go to the doctor,"
which I don't like
when people say that to me.
Welcome to being me.
You haven't been here
for a while.
- I know, 'cause all we ever do
is work out.
- Want me to show you
around really fast?
- Yeah.
- This room is the library,
office, blah, blah, blah.
My relationship with Teddi
has just grown.
We have so much in common,
and it's just
a very easy friendship.
This is obviously
the living room.
I just love Teddi.
We have no rugs yet
and no drapes. So...
- The bar wasn't ever here
last time I was here.
- No, the bar we just built.
Oh, that is gonna
be so gorgeous.
- I think it's so hip.
- Are you nervous at all
with the security stuff,
or are you fine now?
- Well, now, I mean,
your husband's company,
like, totally has us dialed in.
We've got all of the cameras
working,
all the alarms working.
I have security here.
There was a point where
I thought I didn't want
to stay in the house
after we were burglarized.
It really rocked my world,
you know,
having things taken from me.
- Do you think you'll stay
in the new house?
- I don't know.
So now I have all the alarms,
all the security, all the dogs,
and nothing to take.
They got almost
every single handbag.
I'm talking ones that my mom
had left me that she'd saved,
jewelry that I'd had since
I was a little girl--everything
except what I had on my body.
- [gasps]
- I can't replace those things
that were
very sentimental to me.
And then there's a mountain
lion on the property.
- [laughing] What?
- I'm not lying.
- You didn't tell me that.
- Yes.
And you should have seen me
getting out of my car
and going into my house.
My husband was like,
"What are you doing?"
I'm like, "Running for my
life."
♪ ♪
[doorbell rings]
- [laughs]
Hey. You look adorable.
- Thank you.
- How are you?
Nice to see you.
- Nice to see you.
- Get in out of the heat.
I got us some champagne.
- Wow.
One of those kind of days?
- You were coming over,
so I couldn't...
- I know. You just thought,
"Well, might as well
break out the champagne."
- Yeah.
I've had a little bit
more interest
in having people over lately,
and it's nice to not have to
travel across town.
Make them come to me.
How's PK?
- PK is wonderful.
He's very busy.
George is on tour.
He's doing so well, thank God.
- How's the show? Here.
- Beyond.
This glass of champagne
is actually
looking quite good right now.
- Oh, my God. Here.
Here's to you.
- Oh, it's good to see you.
- Nice to see you, sweetie.
Really nice to see you.
Mmm.
- I had a really,
really sh---y few days.
We had something happen
that sort of tipped
my world upside down.
We were away, and we discovered
that we had been robbed.
All of my handbags, all of
my jewelry. Every single thing.
- Wow. You know,
we've been hit five times.
I mean, I know what
that's like,
to come home and just,
"Sh-- is gone."
- Oh. They got everything.
But there was one thing
that was left,
which was this--funny
enough--this horrible necklace
that my husband bought me
for Valentine's Day.
- They had the nerve
to leave it?
- That is--that is--
- That is funny.
- Isn't that funny?
I don't know what to do
with this, PK.
It's...it's all wrong.
Oh, my gosh, I couldn't cope.
I said to my husband,
"I need to go somewhere
and collect myself."
- What did you do?
- I went to Utah.
I climbed a mountain.
- Oh.
- Me, Erika.
I climbed a mountain.
I wouldn't classify myself
as an athlete.
There were moments where I
didn't know if I could do it,
but I knew,
"You've got two little kids
at home waiting for you,
"and they need Mommy
to come home.
You better push yourself.
You can do this."
It was this mental breakthrough
I had where it was like this
strength started to come back.
The switch had been flipped,
and gas went back
into the tank.
- Sure.
- I've always been somewhat
religious and spiritual,
but this experience in Utah
was by far
the biggest spiritual
awakening
that I've had to date.
- Do you want anything?
Are you hungry?
- This looks like
the most decadent food
you could have
possibly put out.
- It's kind of--yeah.
Whatever you want, sweetheart.
- This looks yummy.
- Have a bite.
- I've got these
two little ones,
and all I kept thinking was...
- "What if?"
- Thank God.
- Phoenix is so cute.
- Phoenix is so cute.
She's so precocious.
She's got hands on her hips.
She's got "no."
She's got this
little bit of a...
- Does she have a purse?
- She's got more purses
than Mommy right now.
[laughter]
- 'Cause somebody stole
your sh--.
- Coming up...
- I wanted you to
come that night.
- Lisa, you're so full of sh--
right now.
I'm not gonna ----ing do this
with you again. I'm really not.
- Oh, no.
- Oh, my God.
♪ ♪
- Can you go first, my love?
- Hello.
- Hi. Hi, guys.
all: Hi.
- How are you?
- Oh!
- I know, right? Hi, love.
- So cute.
Who's this little baby?
- We just got him in yesterday.
- You want to hand sanitize
and hold?
- Yep.
Slate is obsessed with dogs,
so once a week,
we go into Vanderpump Dogs.
It's the perfect way for Slate
to be around puppies, yet
we don't have to commit yet.
- So what's going on
with this event?
- Oh, my gosh.
Well, the last one was--
like,
so much happened with it...
- It was--yeah,
and it was so good.
- I do a lot of charity rides,
where I'll go to different
studios, different gyms,
and I will host a ride,
and the proceeds
will go to charity,
and as I get closer
with Lisa Vanderpump,
it only makes sense that
I do one for Vanderpump Dogs.
♪ ♪
- He looks like a Chippy to me.
Chippy!
- Ooh, I like Chippy.
- Chippy.
- Hi.
all: Hi.
- Oh, my God.
- Hi.
- I'm already getting excited.
- Right?
- Whose Porsche is that?
Is somebody copying me?
- I'm not copying you.
Mine's red.
[laughter]
Lisa Vanderpump,
she cannot trademark a car.
There's not a copyright, okay?
- Look at this one!
- Oh, my gosh.
- That one looks like...
- Oh!
- Oh, my gosh.
You still love Brownie?
- Bring her here. Oh, baby.
- That's her?
- Yeah. Yeah.
You don't recognize this one?
- Stop.
- Is that a--
- What?
- What?
- No.
- Okay.
- What?
- Nothing. Nothing.
- What does that mean?
- Anyway...
- Anyway...
- Puppies.
- Something's strange here.
Why is everyone staring at me
talking about this dog?
- Mommy, lookit.
- I know.
You recognize that one?
- Mommy, I want
to hold that one.
- This is Dorit's dog.
- Oh, she's getting him
groomed?
- No. She's with us again.
- Oh, it didn't work out?
- I really don't want
to talk about this now.
I'm, like, 1,000%,
I'm not talking about this.
Dorit adopted Lucy
from our foundation,
and then the puppy ended up
in a shelter.
It's handled.
So then
the shelter alerted us,
because we have microchips
in all our dogs,
that they had one
of our dogs down there.
I don't want to talk
about this right now.
We got this beautiful,
adorable little puppy
from Vanderpump Dogs.
She was not the right fit
for the family.
After Lucy had bit the kids
a few times,
and took a big bite
out of PK's face...
- Oh.
- PK was just...
- Yeah, "Maybe we should
find Lucy another place."
- Yes, exactly.
Well, here I am thinking
that she's going to
this beautiful home.
I get a phone call from Lisa
that Lucy
ended up in a shelter.
- Was Lisa mad at you?
- Well, she wasn't mad at me.
I think that she
was just concerned.
- A little shocked?
- Yeah. A little--as I was.
- It was not handled properly.
- Guys, it's not her fault.
- That's fine, but I'm--so--
- I don't want to talk
about it.
Don't look at me like that.
- The only part that I think
is strange...
- I'm not saying anything.
I'm not saying
anything about it.
- Is she should have just
come to you first.
You're an understanding person.
She could have just come to you
and said, "I can't do this."
- Maybe in her mind,
she believed
it was going to a good home.
[tense music]
♪ ♪
- The thing is, I'm pissed,
and everyone here is pissed,
and I've been dealing
with this now for a week.
- John, you work with us.
There is no way that she would
have just given the dog away
to be dropped off at a shelter.
I 1,000% stand by that.
Now I have anxiety.
- Let's go upstairs.
- When he told me, he was like,
"Don't say anything to anyone."
- You knew?
- I knew, because they told me,
'cause they were, like,
really upset about it,
but they were like,
"Don't say anything to anyone,"
and I was like, "I won't."
I mean, I keep my word.
I've gotten to know John
Blizzard throughout
the charity events that I've
done for Vanderpump Dogs,
so it didn't surprise me
when he called me to tell me
about the dog situation that
happened with Dorit last week.
- Oh, little baby orphans.
- Don't touch that.
- She is a biter.
- This one's a biter?
- Yeah.
- This is--so they come here
for seven days
while we can observe them
if they're sick
or have kennel cough.
- Oh.
- I'm sorry.
I didn't even have time
to talk to you.
We were so not ready
to be open that night.
She came to my restaurant, and
that's why I wish you'd come.
- To which one?
- My new one
that I'm opening
that you've never seen.
Cheers, everybody.
- Cheers, everybody!
- Welcome to Tom Tom!
I wanted
you to come that night.
- Lisa, you're so full of sh--
right now.
I really am not gonna
do this with you.
- I wanted you
to come that night.
- I'm not gonna do this with
you. I'm really not, okay?
- Okay.
- I'm not gonna do this
with you.
I landed from a plane.
It was 4:00 in the morning
for me.
I called, and you said,
"It's not my party."
- It's not my party.
- "I didn't invite everyone."
The "Daily Mail" hosted a party
at Lisa's new restaurant,
Tom Tom.
She doesn't even care
that I wasn't at that party.
It wasn't her party.
She didn't even invite me.
- I didn't invite one person.
- But you can say--
do this with me...
- I didn't invite you.
- And be a bitch to me
about it, which you...
- I'm not being a bitch to you.
- Yeah, you were, in a text.
But Dorit can drop off a dog,
and you're like,
"She didn't mean it."
I'm not gonna ----ing do this
with you again. I'm really not.
- Oh, no.
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, no.
- Coming up...
- Do you know
that he's licking my toes
in that scene?
- No.
- [yelps] Oh, my God.
- You can say--
- You can say--
do this with me...
- I didn't invite you.
- And be a bitch to me
about it, which you--
- I'm not being a bitch to you.
- Yeah, you were, in text.
But Dorit can drop off a dog,
and you're like,
"She didn't mean it."
I'm not gonna ----ing do this
with you again. I'm really not.
- Oh, no.
- Oh, my God.
- In our history
of our friendship,
Lisa likes to take
the opportunity
to try to make me look bad
sometimes when
I haven't even done anything.
We were late.
- Yeah.
- But Dorit's in the clear.
I mean, I'm just saying,
let's play even.
- I don't favor Dorit over you
in any shape or form.
- Yet I've sat there
and watched her with friends
who have actually done things
to her that were really,
really sh---y
and make excuses for them.
There was things said about me
and Lisa Vanderpump
that should not have
----ing been said.
- I don't want her to be upset.
- Leave me the (BLEEP) alone.
----ing unloyal.
Leave me alone.
- I'm not unloyal.
- Yeah, you are.
Leave me alone. Leave me alone.
- No I'm not.
- Just leave me the (BLEEP)
alone, Lisa.
But I'm one of your
closest friends.
You just don't do that.
- I've been working at that
restaurant for a year.
You've not been by once.
- Yeah. It wasn't done yet.
You kept telling me--
- So come and see it.
- Oh, my God. Okay.
- Well, don't walk away.
- Okay. No, I'm done.
No. Not doing this.
- Come on.
- Oh, my God.
Teddi, what's the point?
Tell me the point
of doing that.
- Here's the thing.
I know you're joking,
but I know she takes it
super sensitive.
Lisa likes to jab at Kyle.
If it has anything to do with
Kyle and I being close,
I don't really understand that.
As long as we all like
each other,
what does it matter?
- You're looking for sh--
to start at with me.
I can already feel it.
- Kyle, I love you.
- Well, then--
yeah, then
----ing act like it, okay?
- Okay.
- I have been there for you
every single second,
so please don't try
to make it seem like I haven't.
- I--no, no. I'm sorry.
I love you.
- I think she's just taking it
out on you a little bit.
- I know. It hurts my feelings
when she does that,
'cause I'm a good ----ing
friend to her, and I love you.
- I just want you to come by
and see what I've been doing,
and I haven't been
coping very well.
- I would love that.
Okay.
I like checking out with Tom.
- Why am I crying?
- I was away for three weeks.
You were away.
- I haven't been away.
- And I haven't
been feeling good.
- Where have I been?
I'd been in London
for the funeral for five days.
- No, I was away, and I have
sh-- going on with me too.
- Sorry.
- Let's get out of here.
- I'm sorry.
I don't want to film.
I feel I've made such an idiot
of myself down there now.
- Shut up. You're not making
an idiot of yourself.
Stop.
- It's not like me
to lose my sh--
and my sh-- is right
down there by the door.
- But that's what happens
when you hold everything in.
- I'm okay. I'm okay.
- Sit down.
- Lisa's always been one
to hide her emotions,
but after her brother passed,
Lisa's having just a lot of
ups and downs right now,
where she's, like,
laughing and having fun,
and then she's sad and she's
down, which is understandable,
'cause she's gone
through a lot lately.
I think that you feel
a little depressed.
- I think you feel sad.
- Which is understandable.
- I do feel depressed.
- Yeah.
- I know.
- I do. [sobs]
- I'm sorry.
- I'm such an idiot.
- No. You're not an idiot.
Please stop being hard
on yourself.
- Are my eyelashes still on?
'Cause that's
the most important thing.
- Yes.
I don't know how they are.
[laughter]
- [exhaling] Oh, God.
♪ ♪
- Oh, the flies were
under there!
Oh, well.
No one's gonna eat anyway.
Mm-hmm. [humming]
Okay. We're set.
Hello!
- Hello!
- Welcome.
- Thank you.
- Good to see you.
Denise and I go back
so many different lifetimes.
We've gone through
the modeling together,
we went through
acting together.
I then reconnected
with Denise.
I'm guessing 28 to 30 years
I've known you.
- That's crazy.
- Isn't it?
I was thinking about that time
we came over--maybe
it was, like, Easter...
- It was Easter.
- Charlie showed up.
- I know.
[both snicker]
- What do you want to drink?
I made
a jalapeño
cucumber margarita,
and then you
can have straight up.
- I do straight up.
- Okay. Let's do straight up.
- Thank you.
- I think Denise will blend
in really well with the group,
'cause Denise is a seasoned
old bitch just like I am.
[laughs]
♪ ♪
Hi, Dorit.
- Hi, Lisa.
- Oh, my God. You look so cute!
- Hi.
- It's Denise.
- I'm Dorit.
- Hi. I'm a hugger.
- Oh, me too.
- Come on in.
- Thank you.
- Ooh, I like your shoes.
- Thank you.
- Hello.
- Hey.
- How are you?
- Hi.
- You look cute.
- Thank you. So do you.
- Hi, cutie.
How are you?
- Oh, it's good to see you.
- Hi. I'm Denise.
- I'm Erika. Nice to meet you.
- I'm a hugger though.
- Oh, I like that. I love that.
- Sorry.
- I love that.
- Nice to meet you.
- I love hugs.
Nice to meet you too.
- What can I get you
to drink, Erika?
- What are you guys having?
I'm not drinking
if you're not drinking.
- I have tequila.
- Okay.
- Yeah, she has tequila.
- [laughs]
- The thing is, I have
margaritas...
- Well, sh--. Okay.
- I know.
- Now you girls
better eat something.
- How do you guys
know each other?
- I remember seeing her card
at Wilhelmina, and she was 16.
- Didn't we do "Melrose Place"?
I did a few episodes...
- Oh.
- Did you?
- I played
Loni Anderson's daughter.
- I loved you in
"Starship Troopers"...
- Oh, thank you.
- But I loved you
as Dr. Christmas Jones.
- Are you here for a reason,
or are you just hoping
for a glimmer?
- I got really slammed
in that movie,
'cause they didn't think
I could be a...
- Nuclear scientist.
Yeah, 'cause she was hot
and pretty, but she couldn't
possibly have a brain.
- But I can play a Bond girl.
- Yes.
- You wouldn't want me
in a goddamn lab coat
and all that sh--.
You know? It was like...
- No, I want you in a bikini.
- Part of--right. Yes.
- Right.
- Looking stunning.
But it is pretty--it's pretty
major.
- Thank you.
- I think it's ----ing
fabulous.
- It was an amazing experience.
That's for sure.
- How long were you
and Charlie married?
- 4 1/2 years.
- A lot's happened since then.
[laughter]
- You did something with him.
- We did this movie
called "Good Advice."
I'm in the first scene
with him, and do you know
that he's licking my toes
in that scene?
- No.
- Oh, my God!
- Okay. Listen, sweetie.
I got to run. My manicurist
is giving me dirty looks.
I'll see you tonight.
- I tell you what, I'm coming
back over here for cocktails.
- You have good booze sh--.
- I will--I could be--
- See?
[laughter]
You made the margarita
really strong, Lisa.
- Coming up...
- I know that you had no
mal-intent or bad intention.
I know that.
- Of course we didn't
bloody mean it.
♪ ♪
- Hi, guys.
- Hi.
- Hello. Hi, Kenny.
- PK.
- How are you? You okay?
We're wearing the same color.
You're definitely smart.
You're definitely beating me.
No question.
- Hello. How are we doing
today?
- How are you?
- Would you like to join in
with the bubbly water?
- I think so. Yes. Thank you.
- I'm gonna have
a Bloody Mary or a...
- Bloody Mary's great here.
- Ooh.
Baby, your hands look so nice.
- What?
Thank you.
- Baby hands.
- I like when--yeah.
- Do you shave them?
- Yeah. I always shave them.
- You shave your hands?
- You shave your hands?
- I shave my arms and my hands.
- Why would you do that?
- Why wouldn't I do that?
- How are you feeling, Lisa?
- I've managed
to compartmentalize it,
put it down to just
a horrible time in my life,
and moving on. I can't ever
bring him back. I can't...
- The death of Lisa's brother,
even if she says
that she's strong
or she's coping,
I know that it's affected her.
You can see it. It's physical.
- Hey, listen. I just want
to clear this dog thing,
and then I want it to go away.
- Okay.
- Okay. I know that you had
no mal-intent or bad intention.
I know that.
- I think it's a very weird
concept to say, "I know you
didn't mean"--of course
we didn't bloody mean it.
- I know that.
- I mean...
- No, but also...
- And that's why
I've defended you.
- Lisa, I spoke to you
the day after.
I told you all about the woman.
- You said a woman that had
come to the house wanted her.
- I spoke to Lisa the day
after Lucy had left.
We found this wonderful woman
and this wonderful home,
and I did it with the absolute
best of intentions.
- It's a mistake that could
have been made by anybody.
- Actually, PK, it's not,
because that's what we do.
We make very, very stringent
rules and regulations
so that that mistake
can't be made.
That's why we put in the $5,000
penalty so that nobody...
- I understand, but it was made
by your best friend.
- No, no.
No, let me make--I know--
- But wait. So, it can be made.
- Yeah, but
it shouldn't be made.
- Obviously I signed
the contract.
Did I look at the contract
with a fine-toothed comb? No.
- They're all very passionate,
and John Sessa, he--
- 'Cause it's not good
for us either...
- He hand-reared that dog.
- A shelter calling us saying,
"We've got a Vanderpump dog
down here."
So he lost his mind.
- The thing is, I'm pissed,
and everyone here is pissed,
and I've been dealing
with this now for a week.
- It got heated
at the center...
- Okay, but--
- And I want you to know that,
and I want you to know
that I tried to shut it down,
and I want you to know that
people are talking about it.
- I'd just like to know
whom you've discussed it with
and what was said.
- Well, John Blizzard
spoke to Teddi.
He is very, very friendly
and close with Teddi,
so they speak regularly.
- Lisa had already sent me
a text message
telling me that Teddi was aware
about the dog situation.
- Oh, baby.
- That's her?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Now, she's telling me that
Teddi's talking about it.
I don't want my private matter
being brought up
and discussed with anyone,
especially with Teddi.
- Should have brought the dog
back to Vanderpump.
- That's it. Thank you.
- No.
- It's very, very...
- That makes it go away.
Let's forget it now,
shall we?
- Let's move on.
Are you gonna order some food?
- Oh, Lordy.
That was so stressful,
and I've lost my appetite.
- Lisa and I have had
a few conversations,
and she always made it
seem like we're fine.
I'm a little surprised that
she has a different tone now.
♪ ♪
- This is insane.
- Thanks.
- Faye, can you believe this?
- Oh, it's like everything
I love in life.
- It's really beautiful.
Thank you.
- Seriously.
- Oh, my God. I love it.
When we were burglarized,
the biggest problem for me
was that we had not had any
celebrations in this home yet.
- I don't know where to begin
with this. I really don't.
- It's so good.
- I've been eating it all.
- So now, to have
barbecues and friends over,
it's what's finally making it
feel like it's our home
and not just a house.
♪ ♪
Who is this coming in?
- You don't remember
this place?
- We were just here.
- We were here two weeks ago.
both: Hi!
- How's it going?
You look stunning.
- Hi.
all: Hi.
- So good to see you again.
- Is that [inaudible]?
- How are you?
- Beautiful.
Amazing.
Both of you guys.
- How's it going? You just
whipped this all together?
- I just whipped it
all together. You know me.
There's shaved ice outside.
- Cruz, you want a snow cone?
- Ooh.
There you go.
You're wild.
Can you sit with Cruz
for a sec, babe?
- I need to sit down
for two minutes.
- Okay.
- I've been going nonstop.
- Oh-- [laughs]
- I feel--what happened?
- I just--
- The chair's not for
short people, Teddi.
all: Hi!
- How are you?
- Hey!
- Great.
- Oh, my God,
you look gorgeous.
- Thank you.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- Long time, no see, girl.
- I know. How are you?
- So good to see you.
- This is beautiful.
- Isn't this pretty?
- What is this?
This looks interesting.
- Hi!
- Oh, my God, sexy mama.
How are you?
- Hi! You look cute.
- How are you?
Good to see you. How are you?
- Hi.
- Yes, I do.
- Nice to see you.
- I haven't seen you
in a while.
- I know.
- 11 years ago, I was part of
this "Hollywood moms group."
It was Lisa Rinna,
Denise Richards, Ali Landry,
myself, Alison Sweeney...
Hi. How are you?
- Sami.
- I'm good.
- Nice to see you.
- Yeah. You too.
And Lola.
And we would get together
now and then,
and everyone
would bring a potluck
or whatever
their favorite dessert was,
and that's how I got to know
Denise originally.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- Beautiful place.
- I've known Charlie Sheen
since I was,
like, 13 or 14 years old,
and he happened to be the best
friend of my ex-boyfriend,
C. Thomas Howell. Let's just
say that I didn't love
when my ex-boyfriend
was hanging out with Charlie.
You never knew
what was gonna happen...
Or what they could bring home.
♪ ♪
- We need to first say hi
to Kyle, okay?
But it won't be too loud.
And look. Look, here's Cruz.
- It's your friend Jagger!
- Look, it's Cruz.
Do you remember,
Cruz came over?
- He was wondering if there was
any boys gonna be here.
- Hello.
- Oh, I'm so glad.
- Look at you. How are you?
- Hi.
- In the past, I have
definitely been
a target of attacks from Teddi.
- 'Cause you get confused
by what she's even saying,
because you don't even
remember your point.
- It's in the back of my mind
that Teddi knows
about the dog situation.
How is she gonna
torture me about this?
- They're the same size now.
- So pretty.
Thanks.
♪ ♪
- Hey.
- Nice to see you.
You look stunning.
- Thank you very much.
- Hi!
- I got to tell you something.
Your house, when I pulled in,
is so beautiful.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, it looks beautiful.
- It's coming together, right?
- It looks great.
- It's so different than
when you guys saw it.
This is the living room,
which is still the furniture
from the last house.
This is all original from 1892.
- Wow.
- So pretty.
- Thank you.
- Hey, Mama. How are you?
It's good to see you.
- [laughing]
- He likes me.
- He likes you.
But you can look at him
and say, "I like you too."
- I like you too.
- But why are you making
a weirdo face?
- He always makes a silly face,
'cause he's a silly boy.
- This is what my face
looks like.
I already have this face.
- There's no sugar
coating anything.
- Nope. Uh-uh.
- They give it to you
just like that, Teddi.
It's really weird.
Teddi's not mentioning anything
about the Lucy situation.
- I'm not gonna get into, like,
a whole "Ring Around the Rosie"
with Dorit again,
especially with my kids there.
- This is what we do
in Beverly Hills.
We just put things behind us,
put a smile on our face...
[laughter]
And pretend
we're having a good time.
- Slate, I feel like
you've gotten so big.
- Yeah, she's like a...
- She's like a little girl.
- Little grown-up now.
She likes to do her whole
looks every day.
- Well, you know I love that.
- Oh, yeah.
- You know I totally dig that.
- We're late.
- I hope they saved us
some food.
- Hi.
- How are you doing?
- Yeah, okay. Okay. Better.
- Good.
- I don't want
to talk about it.
- Okay. Got it. Got it.
Grief is a real tricky thing,
and Vanderpump
keeps a stiff upper lip,
'cause I don't ever think she
wants to touch that deep pain
and really feel her true,
true feelings.
You know Denise.
Did you say hi to Denise?
- Yeah, I met her at your house
a long time ago.
- Yeah, remember when...
- Yeah.
- Both you and Charlie's cars
were stolen?
- Weren't you married
to Charlie Sheen?
- I was.
- Okay.
Oh, so the only thing
I have in common with him
is our car
was thrown off the cliff.
- Your car went off the cliff.
- And with my dry cleaning
in the trunk as well,
which I never got back.
- Hello. How are you?
- There's room for two
of us under here.
Look at this.
Hey, let me in under here.
- Goggles?
- I d... [sighs]
I didn't take two goggles.
I'm sorry.
- You look great, Dorit.
You look so good.
Which style is this?
- Thank you.
- Isn't that the...
- This is the Caroline.
Thank you, honey.
- Darling. Hi, darling.
- Thank you. Thank you.
- I'm feeling this sort of,
like, weird guilt,
like we all have had
this conversation about Dorit
and Vanderpump Dogs.
- It was not handled properly.
- But I think no one's saying
anything
because it could put Dorit
in a very bad situation.
Not caring for an animal,
you get a reputation like that,
you're screwed.
♪ ♪
- Guys, please go get
hamburgers, hot dogs,
veggie burgers, fries,
salad, pasta salad, please.
- Can I get a fresh burger
with cheese, please?
And maybe a hot dog too?
- Ooh. Wow. That's impressive.
- I do that at a barbecue.
You don't know that about me.
- How old are yours?
- 14, 13, and 7.
My youngest, I adopted.
- I adopted my son as well.
She obviously knows
she's adopted, I assume.
- I think she thinks
Charlie's her dad,
because she hears
that girls say "Dad," and so...
- Well, could he be?
Sorry.
- No, it's fine.
It's not his kid.
Though
she does look kind of like him.
- Usually I like my dogs
kosher, but whatever.
- Once, twice a year,
a good hot dog...
- Mm-hmm. That's how I feel.
Once, twice a year.
- Mm.
And the burger's good too.
- Oh.
- This is gorgeous.
Like I'm in the South
or I'm back in...
- So go on, then. Tell me.
- Yes.
- Are you excited
to get married?
- Yes, I am.
Very excited to get married.
- Are you?
- What do you think?
- Oh!
- Congratulations!
[all talking at once]
- Thank you.
- When did that happen?
- Last night.
- I'm so happy for you.
- It's been eight years.
- Yeah, you should have got
married at least a couple
of times in between then.
I mean, it's Hollywood,
for God's sake.
What's taken you so long?
- I can't pay for
the legal fees. It's too much.
- If you want, why don't you
invite Jagger to your birthday?
- Can I come?
- You can take a page.
We could throw something
from our kids.
- We'll just--we'll just follow
along with these two.
- Honestly.
- Get my phone right now.
- I'll get your phone.
I'll text Dorit.
She'll know all the info.
The past with Dorit
has not been good.
- I'm not in one
of your accountability...
- Whoo!
- Membership.
- We went there. We went there.
- So just take it down
15 notches.
- But these two,
they don't care about it,
and they want to spend time
together,
and--figure it out, moms.
- Can I post this video of Ken
taking a nap
on my Instagram story?
- [cackles]
Lisa doesn't follow you.
It's fine.
- She's not gonna know.
- She doesn't follow you.
- I'm gonna do it. Should I?
- She doesn't follow you
either, Teddi.
- She doesn't.
Neither does Dorit.
[laughter]
She used to.
- No. But there's potential
for me re-following you.
- Wait. Hold on.
You followed her,
and then you unfollowed her?
- Yeah.
- Yes.
- [laughs]
- Once Teddi and I are fine,
I'm sure I'll follow her again.
- [laughs]
- Oh, yeah.
- How are you doing, Denise?
- Oh, I'm good.
I don't know where
my other kid went, though.
- It's not like they can go
anywhere.
Seriously, those gates...
- Oh, no. She's 13.
She'll be fine.
- They're big.
They're big girls.
- That's not my other one.
- They're the age you should
be worried about.
- No, I was much worse.
- So was I.
- Really?
- Oh, yeah.
- Well, it was different.
- It is different.
- It was a different time.
Like, I remember...
like, Boone's Farm
was our thing.
- What's that?
- Wine. Boone's Farm wine.
- Wine. It's two-buck wine.
- It's kind of like
wine coolers.
Changed her life.
- Winning.
- No, don't say "winning."
- Wink.
- Oh, sh--.
- Don't say "winning," babe.
- Charlie was very vocal
in the press,
and then he would say
"#winning,"
and he was drinking tiger's
blood, or he had tiger's blood.
- Don't say "winning."
- No, it really was 100%
an accident.
- Honestly, it's fine.
You can say it.
- That was such a good moment.
Oh, my God, you guys.
That was so good.
- It's okay.
- I'm not an asshole.
- No. I don't think
you're an asshole.
- Who knew saying
the word "winning"
would make me look
like a loser? Thanks, Charlie.
- I think I have to go home
and see what Rocky's...
- Me too.
- I left Rocky
in the kitchen...
- Oh, me too.
- By herself.
- In the kitchen?
- I need to check
on Rocky with you.
- I need to go.
- I got to check on
my one-year-old Rottweiler.
- You can come too.
- Oh, my God.
He's peeing in the pool.
I love it.
- No, Cruz.
- Keep going!
- No. No.
No. No.
- What? Erika!
[all shouting at once]
- That is so cute.
- Oh, my God.
[all talking at once]
- He needed to release.
- See you later.
Good to see you.
- All right. Okay.
- This hat is so--
- I know.
- I feel like it's,
like, offensive.
[smooches] Good to see you.
- All right. Bye-bye.
- God bless you.
- Good-bye. [laughs]
- Are you leaving now?
- It's good to see you, though.
- You too.
- Bye.
- That's such a Hollywood kiss.
- I can't get near you.
It's purely intentional.
- Ugh.
- This season on "The Real
Housewives of Beverly Hills."
- Someone is hell-bent
on getting
this Dorit story out there.
[cheering and screaming]
♪ ♪
- Whoo!
- What you've done
is so bitchin'.
- [laughs]
- Damn, Dorit.
- So no free lap dances?
- Make it rain!
- No, you ----er.
- Do not call my swan a ----er.
[all cheering]
- Oh, whoo!
- A hot air balloon will be
picking you up at noon.
- It does really make you feel
like you're in Europe.
- We are in Europe, Dorit.
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
- Whoo!
- Oh, my, Denise Richards.
- My visuals of you and Aaron
having sex are,
like, right up there
with my favorite porn.
- It is my honor in declaring
you husband and wife.
- Keep your friends close,
your enemies closer.
- Hello, kitty cat.
Cheers, bitch.
- You've been on this journey
with me through
the highs and lows.
- [sobbing] It's gone.
I can't believe it's all gone.
- I'm home now.
- That is a lie.
- It's not a ----ing lie, Kim.
- It's so untrue, the truth
is gonna come out.
- I kind of feel like the two
of you are in cahoots.
- Let's figure out
who the mean girl really is.
- I love you.
- How can you say you love me?
- Well, I actually don't.
- That's not friendship.
That's bullsh--.
- I'm not gonna say
what a ----ing bitch she was.
Ah. Just said it.
- To learn more about
the housewives,
Who says that? Say it.
- Everybody.
- This is a big shock to me.
- It's so blatant.
- I've done nothing wrong.
Kyle, I swear
on my children's life...
- If I did something wrong,
that doesn't mean
you wouldn't love me.
- I am not going to say "Yes,
I did something"
if I didn't do it.
Whatever.
- I didn't come here to fight.
- You came here
to tell me I am a liar.
- You're not her friend.
- I just want her to be honest.
- She would never say
that about you.
- No, with you too.
- Maybe you care more
about your image
than your friendships.
- You are not her friend.
- Ken, stop it.
- Yes, I ----ing am.
- Good-bye, Kyle.
- Get the (BLEEP)
out of my house.
[voice breaking] I swear to
you, I'm done with her.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- What's up, chicky-boom-booms?
Ooh, are you making
some breakfast?
- Don't get too excited.
Nothing extravagant.
Are you guys gonna be
around on the weekend
when I'm having friends over?
- Yeah. I can grace you
with my presence.
- You're so generous.
I love how thoughtful you are.
- I know.
- Time to get up.
♪ ♪
Amelia!
Amelia.
Time for yoga!
[hip-hop beats]
♪ ♪
- You're such a good boy,
aren't you?
Yes. You're my friend,
aren't you?
[text message swooshes]
It's Kyle.
Saturday, pool party
around 1:00 p.m.
You want to go
to Kyle's pool party?
♪ ♪
- Whoo!
Oh, my goodness.
- [imitates explosions]
Oh!
- Whoo!
- [indistinct]
- Oh!
- Wait. Forgot something.
- Auntie Kyle is having
a pool party.
- No. We have to go
on the rocket ship ride.
- Oh. Okay. Seatbelt on.
[both imitating whooshing]
Whoa!
- [imitating turbulence]
- Whoa!
- Oh, my goodness!
♪ ♪
[phone chimes]
♪ ♪
[phone rings]
- Hey. Are you eating
your oatmeal, or just grapes?
- Just grapes.
- Just grapes?
Can you eat oatmeal too?
- No.
- What if I feed you
like you're a little baby?
Ready?
Okay, I guess I'll just eat it.
- Eat it.
- No!
We recently moved
into a new house
five houses away
from our old house
because my husband has been
stalking it
for years because of the view.
We live right down the street.
We just walked over...
- Wow.
- Because he's been obsessing
over this house for a while.
And, well, it went on the
market,
so guess who had to buy it.
Cruz.
- Hi, baby.
- How was Barry's?
- Our Sunday workout,
hiking, and then doing
this back-to-back killed me.
- Yeah.
- Hi, mama.
- Don't leave your sweaty towel
right here.
- Sorry.
- Ew.
- Hi, mama. [smooches]
- It's a modern home,
4,500 square feet,
five beds, 5 1/2 baths.
I'm kind of in love with it.
So kiddos have camp.
It's Tuesday,
so everything's crazy for me,
because all the clients' photos
come in.
The past year has been
amazing business-wise.
I have over 30 coaches,
over 500 clients--
It's crazy. I can't
grow fast enough.
- Look at this cute shirt.
- Hold up. She took my shirt.
I'm like,
"How does my shirt fit you?"
It's a total
learning curve for me,
managing my own business while
being a mother and a wife.
- This is a mess.
- I got to just remind myself,
"Balance."
That's your clothes.
- I know.
- [laughs] You're like,
"Who made this mess?
Oh. Me."
- Me.
♪ ♪
- Got my long sleeves
all ready. [laughs]
- This is a good idea.
How did you guys
find out about this?
- It's, like, a thing.
- Hi.
- Hi. Say hi.
- Hi.
- Oh, I want her.
- Hello. Hello, my gorgeous.
Every moment that I get
to spend with the girls
is that much more important
right now
because
they are traveling so much.
Look at your skin.
It looks glowing.
- Look at how bad mine is.
I usually have glowing skin.
- Delilah was just on
"Marie Claire Malaysia,"
the beauty issue,
and Amelia just came out
in her second
Hudson Jeans campaign.
I mean, amazing.
- Welcome to goat yoga.
Let's take a deep inhale.
Sweep your arms up.
Join the palm, and then exhale.
Bring your hands
to heart center.
[laughs] Just--
just remember to honor
your body during this class.
If you want to add a few
chaturangas in or vinyasas,
then do so, and then
let's start on all fours.
Good. And then
we're gonna do a few cat-cows.
Drop the navel,
lift the gaze for your cow.
- It is like one of the
funniest, weird
LA,
like, things I've ever done.
And I've done
a lot of weird things.
- Take a deep inhale
through your nose.
[goat grunts]
- [laughs]
- Fill yourself up and exhale.
- Oh, no, no! [laughs]
- And [inaudible]
the spine.
[laughter]
- One more time.
Inhale, re-extend,
lift your head towards the--
- [screams]
- [laughs]
- Oh! Are you all right?
- One down.
- Two down?
You can lie on the mat
and play with the goats.
- She's fearless. Look at her.
Bam!
So are you gonna
go back to New York?
- I'm probably gonna move back
here, so I'm just gonna go
and, like, meet some
modeling people out there.
- Last year, Delilah
went to New York.
So how does it feel so far,
just for this first week
in your apartment?
- I don't know.
I just get scared.
- But she came to realize
that it was lonely.
Am I thrilled
that she wants to move back?
Abso----ing-lutely.
- I want to get an apartment
somewhere, but, like...
- You don't have to rush.
- No offense.
I enjoy seeing you guys,
but I don't know
if I want to live with you.
- I don't blame you.
- Because I don't get
as much freedom.
- I don't blame you.
- But I'll probably stay
at home for a little bit.
- Okay.
Harry and I
are so proud of Delilah,
because at 11 years old,
Delilah couldn't even
leave the house
because of her extreme anxiety.
She said to me,
"I'm not getting on the bus
to go to school."
- My gosh.
- So considering
that she moved
across country for a year,
this is a huge win for her.
I think it's a good idea
that I'm taking a step back.
- It is, and it makes me
feel more, like,
in charge and responsible.
- And that's what I want
to happen for you now too.
That's why I didn't come
to your shoot
in New York, only for a second.
- It's just uncomfortable,
'cause
nobody else's parents go.
- There you go.
- Do you know what I mean?
- I think it's surreal
watching the girls grow up,
'cause it goes by like that.
- It's so comfy.
- Oh, I'm gonna cry.
- Whee.
- Oh, let me do a video.
And all of a sudden,
they don't need me
as much as I would like.
I'm proud of you both,
how you move through the world
and how nice you are
to everybody
and how professional you are.
- You're making me
uncomfortable.
These types of encounters
make me uncomfortable.
[laughter]
- Coming up...
- When you're only
two siblings,
and you've never
known anybody else,
and then suddenly they're
gone...
It's been very difficult.
[sunny music]
♪ ♪
- Good little ponies. Come on.
You're a good little pony--no.
No. Diamonds,
be a good little pony.
Don't you be putting your butt
in my face. No.
♪ ♪
- Here we are. That's yours.
- Thank you.
Oh, no, boys.
You're not having biscuits.
- Come on.
He's a bit
better today, isn't he?
But his nose is still running.
- He's still got a cold.
He worries me so much, though.
- He's got a bad heart, baby.
- Giggy has had
these fainting fits.
He had to be in an incubator,
and he had
to have heart monitors,
and it's basically
his heart's slowing down,
so we have to give him CPR,
massage his heart
to bring him back.
- Couldn't imagine losing him
just after you
lost your brother.
- You know,
when you're only two siblings
and you've never known
anybody else,
and then suddenly,
they're gone...
It's been three months
since
the passing of my brother.
It's still so fresh.
You know, so many people,
you see it lately,
have taken their lives.
There's a lot of people
that say
taking your life is selfish.
I've never felt that.
But I know my brother
well enough to know
that my brother
didn't mean to do this.
It was a cry for help
that went horribly wrong.
I took the photograph
off my desk,
because I felt...
just to see it every day,
it just kind of put me
in a...
- I know.
[stirring music]
♪ ♪
Remember, he's the one
who introduced us as well.
- My brother was kind of my
partner in crime growing up,
but we did used to torture
each other all the time.
[sighs]
Well, whatever happens,
you know,
it was just the two of us.
- You seem a bit better today.
- I think work's good
distraction, really, isn't it?
- It's the best distraction
there is, really.
- I decided that, two days
after the funeral,
I had to get back to work,
'cause I hadn't been
in our business.
It's just every time
somebody brings it up,
then I feel more emotional.
I'm kind of pretty good now
if I don't talk about it.
I'm a strong woman. I can cope.
But I was never
prepared for this,
and it's been very difficult.
Very difficult.
- You grieved properly
for a month,
and then you come out and
carry on with life, you know?
Even if you're unhappy.
You can't grieve for the rest
of your life, can you, really?
- I think you'll always grieve
for the rest of your life.
♪ ♪
[pumping dance music]
♪ ♪
[doorbell rings]
- Is it locked?
Hello.
- I'm rung it 'cause
the last time I came,
the dogs just sprinted out.
- I know. They're always do.
Hi.
- Hi.
- How are you?
- I'm good.
- Are you sore?
- I am so sore from yesterday.
What is wrong with me?
- Maybe it had something to do
with trying to show off
in front of Justin Bieber--
just, you know.
- Well, I did a little bit.
- We're at a boxing class
fangirling over Justin Bieber.
Then I see Kyle.
Like, she's like this.
- Like, I could have gone like
this and touched him,
but I didn't,
'cause I'm mature.
I'm still having issues
with my eye.
My one eye is bigger
than the other.
It's, like,
tickling on this side.
- That means it's probably
going through.
- How can I walk around
like this?
- No, it doesn't look that bad
right now.
It looks better than yesterday.
- I suffer from generalized
anxiety disorder.
It would be your thyroid,
it could be...
- Now, now...
- Botox, it could be
a brain tumor.
My two parents passed away
from cancer,
so when something goes wrong,
I automatically
imagine the worst.
People are saying,
"You need to go to the doctor,"
which I don't like
when people say that to me.
Welcome to being me.
You haven't been here
for a while.
- I know, 'cause all we ever do
is work out.
- Want me to show you
around really fast?
- Yeah.
- This room is the library,
office, blah, blah, blah.
My relationship with Teddi
has just grown.
We have so much in common,
and it's just
a very easy friendship.
This is obviously
the living room.
I just love Teddi.
We have no rugs yet
and no drapes. So...
- The bar wasn't ever here
last time I was here.
- No, the bar we just built.
Oh, that is gonna
be so gorgeous.
- I think it's so hip.
- Are you nervous at all
with the security stuff,
or are you fine now?
- Well, now, I mean,
your husband's company,
like, totally has us dialed in.
We've got all of the cameras
working,
all the alarms working.
I have security here.
There was a point where
I thought I didn't want
to stay in the house
after we were burglarized.
It really rocked my world,
you know,
having things taken from me.
- Do you think you'll stay
in the new house?
- I don't know.
So now I have all the alarms,
all the security, all the dogs,
and nothing to take.
They got almost
every single handbag.
I'm talking ones that my mom
had left me that she'd saved,
jewelry that I'd had since
I was a little girl--everything
except what I had on my body.
- [gasps]
- I can't replace those things
that were
very sentimental to me.
And then there's a mountain
lion on the property.
- [laughing] What?
- I'm not lying.
- You didn't tell me that.
- Yes.
And you should have seen me
getting out of my car
and going into my house.
My husband was like,
"What are you doing?"
I'm like, "Running for my
life."
♪ ♪
[doorbell rings]
- [laughs]
Hey. You look adorable.
- Thank you.
- How are you?
Nice to see you.
- Nice to see you.
- Get in out of the heat.
I got us some champagne.
- Wow.
One of those kind of days?
- You were coming over,
so I couldn't...
- I know. You just thought,
"Well, might as well
break out the champagne."
- Yeah.
I've had a little bit
more interest
in having people over lately,
and it's nice to not have to
travel across town.
Make them come to me.
How's PK?
- PK is wonderful.
He's very busy.
George is on tour.
He's doing so well, thank God.
- How's the show? Here.
- Beyond.
This glass of champagne
is actually
looking quite good right now.
- Oh, my God. Here.
Here's to you.
- Oh, it's good to see you.
- Nice to see you, sweetie.
Really nice to see you.
Mmm.
- I had a really,
really sh---y few days.
We had something happen
that sort of tipped
my world upside down.
We were away, and we discovered
that we had been robbed.
All of my handbags, all of
my jewelry. Every single thing.
- Wow. You know,
we've been hit five times.
I mean, I know what
that's like,
to come home and just,
"Sh-- is gone."
- Oh. They got everything.
But there was one thing
that was left,
which was this--funny
enough--this horrible necklace
that my husband bought me
for Valentine's Day.
- They had the nerve
to leave it?
- That is--that is--
- That is funny.
- Isn't that funny?
I don't know what to do
with this, PK.
It's...it's all wrong.
Oh, my gosh, I couldn't cope.
I said to my husband,
"I need to go somewhere
and collect myself."
- What did you do?
- I went to Utah.
I climbed a mountain.
- Oh.
- Me, Erika.
I climbed a mountain.
I wouldn't classify myself
as an athlete.
There were moments where I
didn't know if I could do it,
but I knew,
"You've got two little kids
at home waiting for you,
"and they need Mommy
to come home.
You better push yourself.
You can do this."
It was this mental breakthrough
I had where it was like this
strength started to come back.
The switch had been flipped,
and gas went back
into the tank.
- Sure.
- I've always been somewhat
religious and spiritual,
but this experience in Utah
was by far
the biggest spiritual
awakening
that I've had to date.
- Do you want anything?
Are you hungry?
- This looks like
the most decadent food
you could have
possibly put out.
- It's kind of--yeah.
Whatever you want, sweetheart.
- This looks yummy.
- Have a bite.
- I've got these
two little ones,
and all I kept thinking was...
- "What if?"
- Thank God.
- Phoenix is so cute.
- Phoenix is so cute.
She's so precocious.
She's got hands on her hips.
She's got "no."
She's got this
little bit of a...
- Does she have a purse?
- She's got more purses
than Mommy right now.
[laughter]
- 'Cause somebody stole
your sh--.
- Coming up...
- I wanted you to
come that night.
- Lisa, you're so full of sh--
right now.
I'm not gonna ----ing do this
with you again. I'm really not.
- Oh, no.
- Oh, my God.
♪ ♪
- Can you go first, my love?
- Hello.
- Hi. Hi, guys.
all: Hi.
- How are you?
- Oh!
- I know, right? Hi, love.
- So cute.
Who's this little baby?
- We just got him in yesterday.
- You want to hand sanitize
and hold?
- Yep.
Slate is obsessed with dogs,
so once a week,
we go into Vanderpump Dogs.
It's the perfect way for Slate
to be around puppies, yet
we don't have to commit yet.
- So what's going on
with this event?
- Oh, my gosh.
Well, the last one was--
like,
so much happened with it...
- It was--yeah,
and it was so good.
- I do a lot of charity rides,
where I'll go to different
studios, different gyms,
and I will host a ride,
and the proceeds
will go to charity,
and as I get closer
with Lisa Vanderpump,
it only makes sense that
I do one for Vanderpump Dogs.
♪ ♪
- He looks like a Chippy to me.
Chippy!
- Ooh, I like Chippy.
- Chippy.
- Hi.
all: Hi.
- Oh, my God.
- Hi.
- I'm already getting excited.
- Right?
- Whose Porsche is that?
Is somebody copying me?
- I'm not copying you.
Mine's red.
[laughter]
Lisa Vanderpump,
she cannot trademark a car.
There's not a copyright, okay?
- Look at this one!
- Oh, my gosh.
- That one looks like...
- Oh!
- Oh, my gosh.
You still love Brownie?
- Bring her here. Oh, baby.
- That's her?
- Yeah. Yeah.
You don't recognize this one?
- Stop.
- Is that a--
- What?
- What?
- No.
- Okay.
- What?
- Nothing. Nothing.
- What does that mean?
- Anyway...
- Anyway...
- Puppies.
- Something's strange here.
Why is everyone staring at me
talking about this dog?
- Mommy, lookit.
- I know.
You recognize that one?
- Mommy, I want
to hold that one.
- This is Dorit's dog.
- Oh, she's getting him
groomed?
- No. She's with us again.
- Oh, it didn't work out?
- I really don't want
to talk about this now.
I'm, like, 1,000%,
I'm not talking about this.
Dorit adopted Lucy
from our foundation,
and then the puppy ended up
in a shelter.
It's handled.
So then
the shelter alerted us,
because we have microchips
in all our dogs,
that they had one
of our dogs down there.
I don't want to talk
about this right now.
We got this beautiful,
adorable little puppy
from Vanderpump Dogs.
She was not the right fit
for the family.
After Lucy had bit the kids
a few times,
and took a big bite
out of PK's face...
- Oh.
- PK was just...
- Yeah, "Maybe we should
find Lucy another place."
- Yes, exactly.
Well, here I am thinking
that she's going to
this beautiful home.
I get a phone call from Lisa
that Lucy
ended up in a shelter.
- Was Lisa mad at you?
- Well, she wasn't mad at me.
I think that she
was just concerned.
- A little shocked?
- Yeah. A little--as I was.
- It was not handled properly.
- Guys, it's not her fault.
- That's fine, but I'm--so--
- I don't want to talk
about it.
Don't look at me like that.
- The only part that I think
is strange...
- I'm not saying anything.
I'm not saying
anything about it.
- Is she should have just
come to you first.
You're an understanding person.
She could have just come to you
and said, "I can't do this."
- Maybe in her mind,
she believed
it was going to a good home.
[tense music]
♪ ♪
- The thing is, I'm pissed,
and everyone here is pissed,
and I've been dealing
with this now for a week.
- John, you work with us.
There is no way that she would
have just given the dog away
to be dropped off at a shelter.
I 1,000% stand by that.
Now I have anxiety.
- Let's go upstairs.
- When he told me, he was like,
"Don't say anything to anyone."
- You knew?
- I knew, because they told me,
'cause they were, like,
really upset about it,
but they were like,
"Don't say anything to anyone,"
and I was like, "I won't."
I mean, I keep my word.
I've gotten to know John
Blizzard throughout
the charity events that I've
done for Vanderpump Dogs,
so it didn't surprise me
when he called me to tell me
about the dog situation that
happened with Dorit last week.
- Oh, little baby orphans.
- Don't touch that.
- She is a biter.
- This one's a biter?
- Yeah.
- This is--so they come here
for seven days
while we can observe them
if they're sick
or have kennel cough.
- Oh.
- I'm sorry.
I didn't even have time
to talk to you.
We were so not ready
to be open that night.
She came to my restaurant, and
that's why I wish you'd come.
- To which one?
- My new one
that I'm opening
that you've never seen.
Cheers, everybody.
- Cheers, everybody!
- Welcome to Tom Tom!
I wanted
you to come that night.
- Lisa, you're so full of sh--
right now.
I really am not gonna
do this with you.
- I wanted you
to come that night.
- I'm not gonna do this with
you. I'm really not, okay?
- Okay.
- I'm not gonna do this
with you.
I landed from a plane.
It was 4:00 in the morning
for me.
I called, and you said,
"It's not my party."
- It's not my party.
- "I didn't invite everyone."
The "Daily Mail" hosted a party
at Lisa's new restaurant,
Tom Tom.
She doesn't even care
that I wasn't at that party.
It wasn't her party.
She didn't even invite me.
- I didn't invite one person.
- But you can say--
do this with me...
- I didn't invite you.
- And be a bitch to me
about it, which you...
- I'm not being a bitch to you.
- Yeah, you were, in a text.
But Dorit can drop off a dog,
and you're like,
"She didn't mean it."
I'm not gonna ----ing do this
with you again. I'm really not.
- Oh, no.
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, no.
- Coming up...
- Do you know
that he's licking my toes
in that scene?
- No.
- [yelps] Oh, my God.
- You can say--
- You can say--
do this with me...
- I didn't invite you.
- And be a bitch to me
about it, which you--
- I'm not being a bitch to you.
- Yeah, you were, in text.
But Dorit can drop off a dog,
and you're like,
"She didn't mean it."
I'm not gonna ----ing do this
with you again. I'm really not.
- Oh, no.
- Oh, my God.
- In our history
of our friendship,
Lisa likes to take
the opportunity
to try to make me look bad
sometimes when
I haven't even done anything.
We were late.
- Yeah.
- But Dorit's in the clear.
I mean, I'm just saying,
let's play even.
- I don't favor Dorit over you
in any shape or form.
- Yet I've sat there
and watched her with friends
who have actually done things
to her that were really,
really sh---y
and make excuses for them.
There was things said about me
and Lisa Vanderpump
that should not have
----ing been said.
- I don't want her to be upset.
- Leave me the (BLEEP) alone.
----ing unloyal.
Leave me alone.
- I'm not unloyal.
- Yeah, you are.
Leave me alone. Leave me alone.
- No I'm not.
- Just leave me the (BLEEP)
alone, Lisa.
But I'm one of your
closest friends.
You just don't do that.
- I've been working at that
restaurant for a year.
You've not been by once.
- Yeah. It wasn't done yet.
You kept telling me--
- So come and see it.
- Oh, my God. Okay.
- Well, don't walk away.
- Okay. No, I'm done.
No. Not doing this.
- Come on.
- Oh, my God.
Teddi, what's the point?
Tell me the point
of doing that.
- Here's the thing.
I know you're joking,
but I know she takes it
super sensitive.
Lisa likes to jab at Kyle.
If it has anything to do with
Kyle and I being close,
I don't really understand that.
As long as we all like
each other,
what does it matter?
- You're looking for sh--
to start at with me.
I can already feel it.
- Kyle, I love you.
- Well, then--
yeah, then
----ing act like it, okay?
- Okay.
- I have been there for you
every single second,
so please don't try
to make it seem like I haven't.
- I--no, no. I'm sorry.
I love you.
- I think she's just taking it
out on you a little bit.
- I know. It hurts my feelings
when she does that,
'cause I'm a good ----ing
friend to her, and I love you.
- I just want you to come by
and see what I've been doing,
and I haven't been
coping very well.
- I would love that.
Okay.
I like checking out with Tom.
- Why am I crying?
- I was away for three weeks.
You were away.
- I haven't been away.
- And I haven't
been feeling good.
- Where have I been?
I'd been in London
for the funeral for five days.
- No, I was away, and I have
sh-- going on with me too.
- Sorry.
- Let's get out of here.
- I'm sorry.
I don't want to film.
I feel I've made such an idiot
of myself down there now.
- Shut up. You're not making
an idiot of yourself.
Stop.
- It's not like me
to lose my sh--
and my sh-- is right
down there by the door.
- But that's what happens
when you hold everything in.
- I'm okay. I'm okay.
- Sit down.
- Lisa's always been one
to hide her emotions,
but after her brother passed,
Lisa's having just a lot of
ups and downs right now,
where she's, like,
laughing and having fun,
and then she's sad and she's
down, which is understandable,
'cause she's gone
through a lot lately.
I think that you feel
a little depressed.
- I think you feel sad.
- Which is understandable.
- I do feel depressed.
- Yeah.
- I know.
- I do. [sobs]
- I'm sorry.
- I'm such an idiot.
- No. You're not an idiot.
Please stop being hard
on yourself.
- Are my eyelashes still on?
'Cause that's
the most important thing.
- Yes.
I don't know how they are.
[laughter]
- [exhaling] Oh, God.
♪ ♪
- Oh, the flies were
under there!
Oh, well.
No one's gonna eat anyway.
Mm-hmm. [humming]
Okay. We're set.
Hello!
- Hello!
- Welcome.
- Thank you.
- Good to see you.
Denise and I go back
so many different lifetimes.
We've gone through
the modeling together,
we went through
acting together.
I then reconnected
with Denise.
I'm guessing 28 to 30 years
I've known you.
- That's crazy.
- Isn't it?
I was thinking about that time
we came over--maybe
it was, like, Easter...
- It was Easter.
- Charlie showed up.
- I know.
[both snicker]
- What do you want to drink?
I made
a jalapeño
cucumber margarita,
and then you
can have straight up.
- I do straight up.
- Okay. Let's do straight up.
- Thank you.
- I think Denise will blend
in really well with the group,
'cause Denise is a seasoned
old bitch just like I am.
[laughs]
♪ ♪
Hi, Dorit.
- Hi, Lisa.
- Oh, my God. You look so cute!
- Hi.
- It's Denise.
- I'm Dorit.
- Hi. I'm a hugger.
- Oh, me too.
- Come on in.
- Thank you.
- Ooh, I like your shoes.
- Thank you.
- Hello.
- Hey.
- How are you?
- Hi.
- You look cute.
- Thank you. So do you.
- Hi, cutie.
How are you?
- Oh, it's good to see you.
- Hi. I'm Denise.
- I'm Erika. Nice to meet you.
- I'm a hugger though.
- Oh, I like that. I love that.
- Sorry.
- I love that.
- Nice to meet you.
- I love hugs.
Nice to meet you too.
- What can I get you
to drink, Erika?
- What are you guys having?
I'm not drinking
if you're not drinking.
- I have tequila.
- Okay.
- Yeah, she has tequila.
- [laughs]
- The thing is, I have
margaritas...
- Well, sh--. Okay.
- I know.
- Now you girls
better eat something.
- How do you guys
know each other?
- I remember seeing her card
at Wilhelmina, and she was 16.
- Didn't we do "Melrose Place"?
I did a few episodes...
- Oh.
- Did you?
- I played
Loni Anderson's daughter.
- I loved you in
"Starship Troopers"...
- Oh, thank you.
- But I loved you
as Dr. Christmas Jones.
- Are you here for a reason,
or are you just hoping
for a glimmer?
- I got really slammed
in that movie,
'cause they didn't think
I could be a...
- Nuclear scientist.
Yeah, 'cause she was hot
and pretty, but she couldn't
possibly have a brain.
- But I can play a Bond girl.
- Yes.
- You wouldn't want me
in a goddamn lab coat
and all that sh--.
You know? It was like...
- No, I want you in a bikini.
- Part of--right. Yes.
- Right.
- Looking stunning.
But it is pretty--it's pretty
major.
- Thank you.
- I think it's ----ing
fabulous.
- It was an amazing experience.
That's for sure.
- How long were you
and Charlie married?
- 4 1/2 years.
- A lot's happened since then.
[laughter]
- You did something with him.
- We did this movie
called "Good Advice."
I'm in the first scene
with him, and do you know
that he's licking my toes
in that scene?
- No.
- Oh, my God!
- Okay. Listen, sweetie.
I got to run. My manicurist
is giving me dirty looks.
I'll see you tonight.
- I tell you what, I'm coming
back over here for cocktails.
- You have good booze sh--.
- I will--I could be--
- See?
[laughter]
You made the margarita
really strong, Lisa.
- Coming up...
- I know that you had no
mal-intent or bad intention.
I know that.
- Of course we didn't
bloody mean it.
♪ ♪
- Hi, guys.
- Hi.
- Hello. Hi, Kenny.
- PK.
- How are you? You okay?
We're wearing the same color.
You're definitely smart.
You're definitely beating me.
No question.
- Hello. How are we doing
today?
- How are you?
- Would you like to join in
with the bubbly water?
- I think so. Yes. Thank you.
- I'm gonna have
a Bloody Mary or a...
- Bloody Mary's great here.
- Ooh.
Baby, your hands look so nice.
- What?
Thank you.
- Baby hands.
- I like when--yeah.
- Do you shave them?
- Yeah. I always shave them.
- You shave your hands?
- You shave your hands?
- I shave my arms and my hands.
- Why would you do that?
- Why wouldn't I do that?
- How are you feeling, Lisa?
- I've managed
to compartmentalize it,
put it down to just
a horrible time in my life,
and moving on. I can't ever
bring him back. I can't...
- The death of Lisa's brother,
even if she says
that she's strong
or she's coping,
I know that it's affected her.
You can see it. It's physical.
- Hey, listen. I just want
to clear this dog thing,
and then I want it to go away.
- Okay.
- Okay. I know that you had
no mal-intent or bad intention.
I know that.
- I think it's a very weird
concept to say, "I know you
didn't mean"--of course
we didn't bloody mean it.
- I know that.
- I mean...
- No, but also...
- And that's why
I've defended you.
- Lisa, I spoke to you
the day after.
I told you all about the woman.
- You said a woman that had
come to the house wanted her.
- I spoke to Lisa the day
after Lucy had left.
We found this wonderful woman
and this wonderful home,
and I did it with the absolute
best of intentions.
- It's a mistake that could
have been made by anybody.
- Actually, PK, it's not,
because that's what we do.
We make very, very stringent
rules and regulations
so that that mistake
can't be made.
That's why we put in the $5,000
penalty so that nobody...
- I understand, but it was made
by your best friend.
- No, no.
No, let me make--I know--
- But wait. So, it can be made.
- Yeah, but
it shouldn't be made.
- Obviously I signed
the contract.
Did I look at the contract
with a fine-toothed comb? No.
- They're all very passionate,
and John Sessa, he--
- 'Cause it's not good
for us either...
- He hand-reared that dog.
- A shelter calling us saying,
"We've got a Vanderpump dog
down here."
So he lost his mind.
- The thing is, I'm pissed,
and everyone here is pissed,
and I've been dealing
with this now for a week.
- It got heated
at the center...
- Okay, but--
- And I want you to know that,
and I want you to know
that I tried to shut it down,
and I want you to know that
people are talking about it.
- I'd just like to know
whom you've discussed it with
and what was said.
- Well, John Blizzard
spoke to Teddi.
He is very, very friendly
and close with Teddi,
so they speak regularly.
- Lisa had already sent me
a text message
telling me that Teddi was aware
about the dog situation.
- Oh, baby.
- That's her?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Now, she's telling me that
Teddi's talking about it.
I don't want my private matter
being brought up
and discussed with anyone,
especially with Teddi.
- Should have brought the dog
back to Vanderpump.
- That's it. Thank you.
- No.
- It's very, very...
- That makes it go away.
Let's forget it now,
shall we?
- Let's move on.
Are you gonna order some food?
- Oh, Lordy.
That was so stressful,
and I've lost my appetite.
- Lisa and I have had
a few conversations,
and she always made it
seem like we're fine.
I'm a little surprised that
she has a different tone now.
♪ ♪
- This is insane.
- Thanks.
- Faye, can you believe this?
- Oh, it's like everything
I love in life.
- It's really beautiful.
Thank you.
- Seriously.
- Oh, my God. I love it.
When we were burglarized,
the biggest problem for me
was that we had not had any
celebrations in this home yet.
- I don't know where to begin
with this. I really don't.
- It's so good.
- I've been eating it all.
- So now, to have
barbecues and friends over,
it's what's finally making it
feel like it's our home
and not just a house.
♪ ♪
Who is this coming in?
- You don't remember
this place?
- We were just here.
- We were here two weeks ago.
both: Hi!
- How's it going?
You look stunning.
- Hi.
all: Hi.
- So good to see you again.
- Is that [inaudible]?
- How are you?
- Beautiful.
Amazing.
Both of you guys.
- How's it going? You just
whipped this all together?
- I just whipped it
all together. You know me.
There's shaved ice outside.
- Cruz, you want a snow cone?
- Ooh.
There you go.
You're wild.
Can you sit with Cruz
for a sec, babe?
- I need to sit down
for two minutes.
- Okay.
- I've been going nonstop.
- Oh-- [laughs]
- I feel--what happened?
- I just--
- The chair's not for
short people, Teddi.
all: Hi!
- How are you?
- Hey!
- Great.
- Oh, my God,
you look gorgeous.
- Thank you.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- Long time, no see, girl.
- I know. How are you?
- So good to see you.
- This is beautiful.
- Isn't this pretty?
- What is this?
This looks interesting.
- Hi!
- Oh, my God, sexy mama.
How are you?
- Hi! You look cute.
- How are you?
Good to see you. How are you?
- Hi.
- Yes, I do.
- Nice to see you.
- I haven't seen you
in a while.
- I know.
- 11 years ago, I was part of
this "Hollywood moms group."
It was Lisa Rinna,
Denise Richards, Ali Landry,
myself, Alison Sweeney...
Hi. How are you?
- Sami.
- I'm good.
- Nice to see you.
- Yeah. You too.
And Lola.
And we would get together
now and then,
and everyone
would bring a potluck
or whatever
their favorite dessert was,
and that's how I got to know
Denise originally.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- Beautiful place.
- I've known Charlie Sheen
since I was,
like, 13 or 14 years old,
and he happened to be the best
friend of my ex-boyfriend,
C. Thomas Howell. Let's just
say that I didn't love
when my ex-boyfriend
was hanging out with Charlie.
You never knew
what was gonna happen...
Or what they could bring home.
♪ ♪
- We need to first say hi
to Kyle, okay?
But it won't be too loud.
And look. Look, here's Cruz.
- It's your friend Jagger!
- Look, it's Cruz.
Do you remember,
Cruz came over?
- He was wondering if there was
any boys gonna be here.
- Hello.
- Oh, I'm so glad.
- Look at you. How are you?
- Hi.
- In the past, I have
definitely been
a target of attacks from Teddi.
- 'Cause you get confused
by what she's even saying,
because you don't even
remember your point.
- It's in the back of my mind
that Teddi knows
about the dog situation.
How is she gonna
torture me about this?
- They're the same size now.
- So pretty.
Thanks.
♪ ♪
- Hey.
- Nice to see you.
You look stunning.
- Thank you very much.
- Hi!
- I got to tell you something.
Your house, when I pulled in,
is so beautiful.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, it looks beautiful.
- It's coming together, right?
- It looks great.
- It's so different than
when you guys saw it.
This is the living room,
which is still the furniture
from the last house.
This is all original from 1892.
- Wow.
- So pretty.
- Thank you.
- Hey, Mama. How are you?
It's good to see you.
- [laughing]
- He likes me.
- He likes you.
But you can look at him
and say, "I like you too."
- I like you too.
- But why are you making
a weirdo face?
- He always makes a silly face,
'cause he's a silly boy.
- This is what my face
looks like.
I already have this face.
- There's no sugar
coating anything.
- Nope. Uh-uh.
- They give it to you
just like that, Teddi.
It's really weird.
Teddi's not mentioning anything
about the Lucy situation.
- I'm not gonna get into, like,
a whole "Ring Around the Rosie"
with Dorit again,
especially with my kids there.
- This is what we do
in Beverly Hills.
We just put things behind us,
put a smile on our face...
[laughter]
And pretend
we're having a good time.
- Slate, I feel like
you've gotten so big.
- Yeah, she's like a...
- She's like a little girl.
- Little grown-up now.
She likes to do her whole
looks every day.
- Well, you know I love that.
- Oh, yeah.
- You know I totally dig that.
- We're late.
- I hope they saved us
some food.
- Hi.
- How are you doing?
- Yeah, okay. Okay. Better.
- Good.
- I don't want
to talk about it.
- Okay. Got it. Got it.
Grief is a real tricky thing,
and Vanderpump
keeps a stiff upper lip,
'cause I don't ever think she
wants to touch that deep pain
and really feel her true,
true feelings.
You know Denise.
Did you say hi to Denise?
- Yeah, I met her at your house
a long time ago.
- Yeah, remember when...
- Yeah.
- Both you and Charlie's cars
were stolen?
- Weren't you married
to Charlie Sheen?
- I was.
- Okay.
Oh, so the only thing
I have in common with him
is our car
was thrown off the cliff.
- Your car went off the cliff.
- And with my dry cleaning
in the trunk as well,
which I never got back.
- Hello. How are you?
- There's room for two
of us under here.
Look at this.
Hey, let me in under here.
- Goggles?
- I d... [sighs]
I didn't take two goggles.
I'm sorry.
- You look great, Dorit.
You look so good.
Which style is this?
- Thank you.
- Isn't that the...
- This is the Caroline.
Thank you, honey.
- Darling. Hi, darling.
- Thank you. Thank you.
- I'm feeling this sort of,
like, weird guilt,
like we all have had
this conversation about Dorit
and Vanderpump Dogs.
- It was not handled properly.
- But I think no one's saying
anything
because it could put Dorit
in a very bad situation.
Not caring for an animal,
you get a reputation like that,
you're screwed.
♪ ♪
- Guys, please go get
hamburgers, hot dogs,
veggie burgers, fries,
salad, pasta salad, please.
- Can I get a fresh burger
with cheese, please?
And maybe a hot dog too?
- Ooh. Wow. That's impressive.
- I do that at a barbecue.
You don't know that about me.
- How old are yours?
- 14, 13, and 7.
My youngest, I adopted.
- I adopted my son as well.
She obviously knows
she's adopted, I assume.
- I think she thinks
Charlie's her dad,
because she hears
that girls say "Dad," and so...
- Well, could he be?
Sorry.
- No, it's fine.
It's not his kid.
Though
she does look kind of like him.
- Usually I like my dogs
kosher, but whatever.
- Once, twice a year,
a good hot dog...
- Mm-hmm. That's how I feel.
Once, twice a year.
- Mm.
And the burger's good too.
- Oh.
- This is gorgeous.
Like I'm in the South
or I'm back in...
- So go on, then. Tell me.
- Yes.
- Are you excited
to get married?
- Yes, I am.
Very excited to get married.
- Are you?
- What do you think?
- Oh!
- Congratulations!
[all talking at once]
- Thank you.
- When did that happen?
- Last night.
- I'm so happy for you.
- It's been eight years.
- Yeah, you should have got
married at least a couple
of times in between then.
I mean, it's Hollywood,
for God's sake.
What's taken you so long?
- I can't pay for
the legal fees. It's too much.
- If you want, why don't you
invite Jagger to your birthday?
- Can I come?
- You can take a page.
We could throw something
from our kids.
- We'll just--we'll just follow
along with these two.
- Honestly.
- Get my phone right now.
- I'll get your phone.
I'll text Dorit.
She'll know all the info.
The past with Dorit
has not been good.
- I'm not in one
of your accountability...
- Whoo!
- Membership.
- We went there. We went there.
- So just take it down
15 notches.
- But these two,
they don't care about it,
and they want to spend time
together,
and--figure it out, moms.
- Can I post this video of Ken
taking a nap
on my Instagram story?
- [cackles]
Lisa doesn't follow you.
It's fine.
- She's not gonna know.
- She doesn't follow you.
- I'm gonna do it. Should I?
- She doesn't follow you
either, Teddi.
- She doesn't.
Neither does Dorit.
[laughter]
She used to.
- No. But there's potential
for me re-following you.
- Wait. Hold on.
You followed her,
and then you unfollowed her?
- Yeah.
- Yes.
- [laughs]
- Once Teddi and I are fine,
I'm sure I'll follow her again.
- [laughs]
- Oh, yeah.
- How are you doing, Denise?
- Oh, I'm good.
I don't know where
my other kid went, though.
- It's not like they can go
anywhere.
Seriously, those gates...
- Oh, no. She's 13.
She'll be fine.
- They're big.
They're big girls.
- That's not my other one.
- They're the age you should
be worried about.
- No, I was much worse.
- So was I.
- Really?
- Oh, yeah.
- Well, it was different.
- It is different.
- It was a different time.
Like, I remember...
like, Boone's Farm
was our thing.
- What's that?
- Wine. Boone's Farm wine.
- Wine. It's two-buck wine.
- It's kind of like
wine coolers.
Changed her life.
- Winning.
- No, don't say "winning."
- Wink.
- Oh, sh--.
- Don't say "winning," babe.
- Charlie was very vocal
in the press,
and then he would say
"#winning,"
and he was drinking tiger's
blood, or he had tiger's blood.
- Don't say "winning."
- No, it really was 100%
an accident.
- Honestly, it's fine.
You can say it.
- That was such a good moment.
Oh, my God, you guys.
That was so good.
- It's okay.
- I'm not an asshole.
- No. I don't think
you're an asshole.
- Who knew saying
the word "winning"
would make me look
like a loser? Thanks, Charlie.
- I think I have to go home
and see what Rocky's...
- Me too.
- I left Rocky
in the kitchen...
- Oh, me too.
- By herself.
- In the kitchen?
- I need to check
on Rocky with you.
- I need to go.
- I got to check on
my one-year-old Rottweiler.
- You can come too.
- Oh, my God.
He's peeing in the pool.
I love it.
- No, Cruz.
- Keep going!
- No. No.
No. No.
- What? Erika!
[all shouting at once]
- That is so cute.
- Oh, my God.
[all talking at once]
- He needed to release.
- See you later.
Good to see you.
- All right. Okay.
- This hat is so--
- I know.
- I feel like it's,
like, offensive.
[smooches] Good to see you.
- All right. Bye-bye.
- God bless you.
- Good-bye. [laughs]
- Are you leaving now?
- It's good to see you, though.
- You too.
- Bye.
- That's such a Hollywood kiss.
- I can't get near you.
It's purely intentional.
- Ugh.
- This season on "The Real
Housewives of Beverly Hills."
- Someone is hell-bent
on getting
this Dorit story out there.
[cheering and screaming]
♪ ♪
- Whoo!
- What you've done
is so bitchin'.
- [laughs]
- Damn, Dorit.
- So no free lap dances?
- Make it rain!
- No, you ----er.
- Do not call my swan a ----er.
[all cheering]
- Oh, whoo!
- A hot air balloon will be
picking you up at noon.
- It does really make you feel
like you're in Europe.
- We are in Europe, Dorit.
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
- Whoo!
- Oh, my, Denise Richards.
- My visuals of you and Aaron
having sex are,
like, right up there
with my favorite porn.
- It is my honor in declaring
you husband and wife.
- Keep your friends close,
your enemies closer.
- Hello, kitty cat.
Cheers, bitch.
- You've been on this journey
with me through
the highs and lows.
- [sobbing] It's gone.
I can't believe it's all gone.
- I'm home now.
- That is a lie.
- It's not a ----ing lie, Kim.
- It's so untrue, the truth
is gonna come out.
- I kind of feel like the two
of you are in cahoots.
- Let's figure out
who the mean girl really is.
- I love you.
- How can you say you love me?
- Well, I actually don't.
- That's not friendship.
That's bullsh--.
- I'm not gonna say
what a ----ing bitch she was.
Ah. Just said it.
- To learn more about
the housewives,