The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2010–…): Season 7, Episode 11 - Backed Into a Corner - full transcript

Previously
on "The Real Housewives

of Beverly Hills"...

- You're walking at Tommy's show

for the first show ever.

I mean, what are
the flipping odds of that?

Yeah, uh-uh. You've got it.

[upbeat music]

- We're in México.

Alejandro, who is an agent
at The Agency,

this is his uncle's home.

It's very authentic Mexico.



- Oh, I love it.

It's so rough and wild
and gorgeous.

- Kyle's afraid to turn
her back on her sister,

because they're this close
to Kim dying.

- Wow.

Kyle's guilt came up

and the fact
that she enables her.

- This is...
- It got intense.

- Rinna has said
that she doesn't believe

that your sister is truly sober

and that she is near death.

And that... - What?

- Yes, and that is
what she's telling Eden.

- What are you gonna do?
Are you gonna ask her?



- I don't even know.
I don't even know.

- Hello! Hello, hello, hello!

♪ ♪

- The crown is heavy, darlings,

so just leave it
where it belongs.

- I may be two people,
but I'm not two-faced.

♪ ♪

- My advice to you:
don't hustle the hustler.

♪ ♪

- I speak no evil,

but I see and hear everything.

♪ ♪

- When you've traveled
the world,

you can speak
in any accent you want.

♪ ♪

- I'm an expert on luxury,

and I can always spot a fake.

[lively Latin music]

♪ ♪

- Hello! Hello, hello, hello!

- Hi.
- Hello, everybody.

- What can we get you to drink?

- Oh, it's so good to see you.

You look so pretty.

- Hello, everyone.

- I apologize
for not greeting you better,

but we're really at
a perfect moment right now.

- I'm sorry I'm not standing up.

- I cannot just say,
"Hey, welcome.

I'm so excited
that you're here."

It feels awkward.

It just does.

- Do you know
where your room is?

- I don't. I'm going there now.

But I wanted to come
say hi first.

- Kyle, where's her room?

- There's two rooms.
Just pick which one you like.

- Okay, great. Okay.
- By the ocean.

- I'm looking at her, you know,
and thinking,

"I know what you did
and what you said,

and I'm pissed off."

- Okay, I feel bad.

I feel like a hypocrite.
You know what I'm saying?

- I don't feel bad at all.
- Okay.

♪ ♪

- You look stunning.

- I cannot get my hair to dry.

- It's because
it's 500 degrees out.

[cork pops]
- That was a good one.

- Very good, honey.

Tonight is the big event
for the opening

of The Agency in Punta Mita.

- Did I give you
one of these yet?

- No. I'm so excited.

I love a goody bag.
- All your goodies.

- It's a really big deal,

because it is the second
real estate company

my husband is opening in Mexico,
which is his country.

My husband's Mexican,
so he's proud right now,

and I don't blame him;
I'm proud of him.

- I haven't seen Eileen yet.
Has she come out?

- She's here.
- Yeah, I heard she's here.

- She's here,
but I haven't seen her.

- Hi.
- Hey!

- This is amazing.
This is so amazing.

- Welcome.

- Thank you so much for coming.

Seriously, I appreciate
the support.

- I wish you the best
of luck tonight, buddy.

- Salut.
- Salut.

- Careful; it's really slippery.

- I hear a screeching voice.

- Screeching voice.
Who could that be?

- Hello!
- Hello, Lisa Rinna.

- Hi, girls.
- Wow, look at that color.

We look like Christmas.
- It's green.

Oh, look, Christmas. Hi.

- Hi.
- How are you guys?

- How are you?
- You're pretty.

- I'm going to have to pull out
the Beverly Hills greeting

when you're really pissed off
at someone

but you don't want
to ruin the party.

- Lisa, you're wearing my color.

- That is mine,
and don't even think about it.

- We should get going.
- Let's go.

- Oh, look at this.
How cute this is.

- Come on, ladies.

- This is like
a Disneyland ride.

♪ ♪

- Oh, how pretty.

- Look how beautiful this is.

♪ ♪

Okay, girls.
Honey, hop in the photo.

♪ ♪

Okay, ready? Smile.

It's margy time.

[pounding music]

♪ ♪

Hola. Cómo estás?

Una margarita, por favor,
sin sal.

Can you add
a little more tequila to this?

I'm married to a Mexican;

I need to have, like,
a real-deal situation.

Oh, that's good.

- Give us a straw.

- Ugh! You know what?

Just give me that whole bottle.

Thanks.

Delicious.

- Honey, you want to be up here?

- Oh, yeah.
- Hey, guys.

Hello, everybody! Welcome!

Let me stop you for one second.

Welcome. I just want to say
a quick little word.

I'm so passionate
in opening up The Agency

and bringing people back
to Punta Mita

because of the energy, the love,
the need for passion,

and the need for life...
- And the margaritas!

- And the enjoyment of life that
everybody in Punta Mita has.

[cheers and applause]

And, of course,
I want to thank my wife,

that without her,
I would do nothing.

I mean... [laughs]

- When I met Mauricio,
he was a kid.

Now he's a man
and he's running his company,

and he's just accomplished
so much.

He's worked really hard,
and it's paid off,

and I could not be more proud.

[applause]

- I want to introduce you

to the grand mariachis...
[speaking Spanish]

[cheers and applause]

[upbeat music]

- Yes!

Perfect!

I'm loving the sombrero!

Is that your husband on the bar?

Is he doing
the Mexican hat dance?

- Oh, my God, he is.
- Oh, my God.

- I'm ready to go have some fun.

Por favor, margarita.

♪ ♪

- What have you been doing
for the last week?

Fill me in.

- Me? No, you start,
because you were in New York.

- Okay, so New York
was fabulous.

- Yes! We have to here
about Delilah.

- Who did she walk for?
Because...

- Tommy Hilfiger.

- Nice. Really nice.

- She did the Tommy show.

This is a big thing.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- And, you know, this is
the most ironic thing of all.

Gigi...

- Did she do her collection?

- She did her collection.

- Is that crazy?
- What are the odds of that?

- Yeah, well, I'm gonna
tell you something.

You need to jump on that.

- I was so proud.

I just... I mean,
Harry and I were just...

I mean, tears streaming
down our face

when she was walking.

So proud.

- I have to get
a glass of water.

I'm feeling a little barfy,
not so good.

- Let's get somebody

to bring us over maybe
some water.

- What the hell
did I ever do to Montezuma

to have this kind of revenge

placed upon my shoulders?

- What do you think
Kyle will do?

Do you think she'll say
something to Lisa tonight?

- I don't know.

I would be very upset

if somebody was saying
that kind of crap.

You don't know 1,000%

that what either of them
are saying is correct,

but Rinna just gets too radical

and makes these bold statements,

and I think you've got to be
more responsible

with what you say,
especially when

you put it out there
and people are talking

and people start to know.

You can't say, you know,
somebody's near death.

I mean, I'd be pissed too.

- Well, you know,
I had a vitamin drip.

- Oh, you had the vitamin drip.

And you had it with Eden, yes?

And how was it?

- Well, she's complicated.

I think the whole
Kyle-and-Kim thing

is bringing up
a lot of stuff for her.

- Right now, I don't
see Kim as the problem.

I see Kyle as the problem.

- The problem like in what way?

- Just behavior.

You're not nice,
you have an attitude,

and you speak for your sister.

- She feels like Kyle
is disrespecting her

or is talking down to her.

But she's got a real problem.

- I mean, I think
she sees herself in Kyle.

- I think you need
to talk to Kyle.

- Me?
- Yeah.

- Why?
- Why?

- I think you guys need

to sort out the Eden issue.

- With Kyle?
- Yes.

- Why?
- Why? Is something going on?

- Yes.
- What happened?

- Oh, God, what did I do?

What did I do now?

- Eden, you know,
has inserted herself

in Kim and Kyle's relationship,

and now she's kind of

inserted you in there too.

- What? How am I getting
dragged into this?

I'm trying to understand.

- You need to talk to Kyle.

- F...

- I'm not gonna deliver
this message.

I... you need to talk
to the source.

- Should I grab her?

- Well, I don't know.

What's being said about Kim,

what's being said about Kyle,

these things have real impact,

and it needs to be cleared up
right away

between the two of them.

- Okay, I need to chat
with Kyle.

- Kyle?
- Kyle.

I'm gonna chat with her
right now.

Kyle?

I hate to do this
at... at Mauricio's,

but Erika said I need
to talk to you about Eden,

and I have no idea
what's going on.

To be honest, I have
no idea whatsoever.

So can we talk?

- Well, that solved my problem.

Now I don't have to pretend
anymore.

- I told her
she needed to talk to you.

- I really don't know, Kyle.
What happened?

- Oh, she's speaking to her
right now.

- A lot of things
have been coming back to me

through Eden.

- Right.

- Eden's gone
and had conversations

with almost everybody
in our group

from the second she walked in,

and it's always about my sister
and our relationship.

So I find out that...

she said some things
that you said

that were
really, really upsetting.

- Like what?

- Did you or did you not say
that my sister

is close to death

and that she is not 100% sober

and that I'm an enabler?

[tense music]

- What the hell?

What the f...?
I can't remember this.

I am in shock.

I can't say yes to this,
because I don't remember it.

♪ ♪

- Coming up...

- I will not f... ing take it.

I'm sorry. I won't take it.

- Shut the f... up.

♪ ♪

- Did you or did you not say

that my sister is close to death

and that she is not 100% sober

and that I'm an enabler?

♪ ♪

- What is your opinion
on the Kim Richards stuff?

- Like, yeah, you're sober,
but that's not the issue here.

- I would say she's probably
mostly sober right now.

To me, they're this close
to Kim dying.

- Wow.

- And Kyle's her enabler.

I mean, I will say that.

I do not ever remember
saying that.

- That's what's being said.

- Eden came to me
and said you said

Kim is close to death.

- And that my sister
is, you know, not sober.

- She's an enabler.
- And that I'm an enabler.

And that we all know that she's,
like, close to death.

- All I can say to you is,
I had a very deep conversation

with Eden about Eden
and about you and...

- Were those things said
about Kim?

- I really don't think
I said that, but I... I mean...

- Lisa, you would remember

if you said
Kim's close to death.

- How did she arrive here?
- What did you say?

- I said I do not want
to talk about this.

I do not want to have
this conversation.

She wanted to try and fix
my relationship with Kim.

- Every conversation
that has come back to me

has been the same exact thing.

- It seems to me like
there's a great case

of selective memory going on.

- This is Eden.

I'm sorry;
I'm not gonna take this.

- Her whole feeling is that

because of how she lost
her sister,

she feels like
it's her responsibility

to not let anything slide by.

- Oh, my God!

She's been doing great.

These kind of things
being put out there

can actually take someone
from being on a good track

to a bad track...
- I understand that.

- When somebody is
a fragile person.

- What did she say to you
about Kim?

She told me she went off
on Kim to you.

- About Kim.
- About Kim.

- She did.

- Kim, she's a bitch.

And why are all these women
afraid to tell her?

It's like, "Let's just
keep it quiet and calm."

Well, guess what?

I did that to my sister,
and she's dead.

- Okay, so maybe Eden needs
to own her...

- If you're saying
you didn't say it,

then where did she get
that information from?

- She's coming up
with it herself

that night at game night.

- I mean, am I supposed
to keep a journal

of my life with my sister
and tell everybody

about what I've gone through
and what I've done?

- This is a stranger.

- This is where I'm not okay.

- This is, like, the biggest
game of Telephone ever.

Everyone in this group,
at one time or another,

"doesn't remember."

- This is f... ing bullsh...,
if you ask me.

I am not gonna allow
Eden Sassoon to twist

what I have done.

I have tried to be so careful

with how I use my words.

- Careful with how
you use your words?

You stood there, and you said,

"Oh, let's talk
about your arrest."

That's not careful,
and I came to you.

- You played dirty.

- I never said a word about it.

- Well, let's talk
about your arrest.

Why don't we do that?

- I said...
- Okay, you're right about that.

- That's a low blow.

- I did say that, Lisa.
And you're right, yes.

You are right, absolutely.

But I am not gonna allow Eden
to twist this around.

- Well, then you talk to Eden
when you get back.

- That's not fair.
I've been open.

I've shared with her
the stories of what have...

You know, what's gone on
with me.

- But you don't think,
in that moment,

maybe you said those things
that she said?

Because that seems really weird

that she would have
such a strong opinion...

- Well, I mean,
if I did say it...

- Plucked out of
the f... ing air.

- You know, I didn't say it
in a hateful, mean way

if it was said.

- First you're saying
you didn't say it.

Now you're saying
if you did say it,

you didn't mean it
in a hurtful way.

You either said it
or you didn't, okay?

Let's get that part straight.

- So you were saying 1,000%
that you did not say

Kim is close to death.

- You know what?

- You would know
if you said that, Lisa.

[women arguing]

- Obviously, someone heard
somebody say it like that,

so if I did say that,
it might have been

in another context.

- There's no other context
of saying Kim's close to death.

- I don't know.

- Lisa...

[dramatic music]

Come on. Now's your big moment.

Remember how you
"own it, own it"?

This is your chance. "Own it!"

- I said maybe, if anything.

I can't yes or no
in that moment,

because whatever my intent was
was not bad.

It wasn't bad, you guys,

and what she's doing
is not right.

- Rinna you're lying
or Eden's lying.

- It's Eden.
She's projecting it onto me.

I will not f... ing take it.

I'm sorry; I won't take it.

- Tell her to shut the f... up.

- Well, from now on,
I'm gonna tell her more

than to shut the f... up.

It's not right.

- I've known Lisa Rinna
a long time,

and it's been a struggle

navigating through
our friendship

because of her issues with Kim
and Kim's issues with her.

So I really would love to give
her the benefit of the doubt,

but just because of
all the things

that have been said in the past,
I'm struggling with that.

- You see why Kyle's upset.

- She wants your loyalty.

- You should have more loyalty
to Kim and Kyle

than you do to Eden.

- I don't have loyalty to Eden.
I hardly know her.

- But you're still taking her
into your confidence,

and you're still having

a personal conversation
about Kim, no?

- I feel really sad
about it now,

to be honest with you, Kyle,
and I'm sorry.

- You don't have to be trapped
in a corner.

- I'm...
- By the way, I am too, so...

- Really literally in a corner.

- I want you to know
that I love you

and I have your back

and I really tried
to extricate myself

from this situation.

- She f... ed you.

- She f... ed me, big-time.

In the ass, right like that.

- I'm getting a margarita.

- I'm sorry.

I'm not letting somebody come in
and do this bullsh...

When I get back
to Beverly Hills,

I need to have a chat with Eden.

I let her in too quickly.

I got too close too soon.

- For some reason, with you,
I go deep with real quick.

- I honor
that you feel safe with me.

- It's really refreshing.

Now it's a big f... ing mess.

- I hate this sh... so much.

I hate this sh...
I hate this sh...

I hate it. You hear me?

- I honestly...
I never heard her say

she's close to death,
ever, ever.

- Not to you.
- Well, I know.

But I'm saying
I never heard that.

- Rinna does say things
and then regrets it.

I think she says something,
then regrets it

and maybe doesn't remember
what she said,

and I don't know.

Time will tell, won't it?

- I think Lisa Vanderpump
absolutely wants it to be true.

It's a little opportunistic
on Lisa Vanderpump's part.

She just seems too excited
about the whole thing.

- Where's Lisa Rinna going?

- I don't know.

- I want to go home.

I want to go home.

[lively band music]

♪ ♪

- Lisa, I need to make sure

you're not gonna, like, dive
in the pool or something.

- [laughs]

- You're not gonna try
and end it, are you?

- No.

- Lisa...

- Dorit, I can't do it.

I just want to go home.

I want to be with my family.

[tearfully] I just want to be
with my family.

I want to... - I know.

- Dorit, I just had

the biggest moment
with my daughter.

It was so beautiful.

She... I can't do this.
I can't deal with this.

I've been down this road.

I just can't go there anymore.

Eileen, I just want to go home.

[crying] I just want to go home.

I want to go home.

Eileen, I can't do it.

I want to go home.

- Coming up...

- How many times
have you fallen asleep

whilst waiting for her
to peel that big underwear off?

[people talking at once]

[thunder rumbling]

- I don't want to do this. F...

I feel like I've been stabbed
in the back.

Please take the knife
out of my back,

because it's not okay with me.

What did I do?

I did not know
any of this was going on.

I just feel so blindsided.

[crying] And now I have to
f... ing deal with this.

And I never cry. F... you.

I never cry. I hate to cry.

- Oh, honey.

- I hate to cry!

- Cry.
- God damn it.

I'm f... ing so mad
at Eden Sassoon right now.

Why did she say this to me?

Why did she say any of it to me?

It's not okay!

My life is too good
for this f... ing bullsh...

[lively band music]

♪ ♪

- How about this?

- Hey, Rinna didn't really

own any of it, did she?

- No, she...
- She didn't, right?

- No, she did not.

- Somebody's not being honest,

and it could be the same person

that was f... ing lying
last year, right?

- Was anybody saying,
"Hey, it's okay"?

You know, "We love you.
We trust you." No.

None of it.

I mean, how about
coming up to me

and saying, "Lisa, I heard this.

It doesn't sound like you,
or did you really do it?"

How about just that?

I feel completely ambushed.

It shouldn't have happened
like that.

Why?

- Lisa Vanderpump and Kyle,

they are kind of jumping
on a wagon, I think,

that they shouldn't be on
quite yet.

They're not letting Lisa Rinna
tell her side of the story.

Sorry.
I'm just not feeling very well.

- Okay.
- It's not getting any better.

- I'll go with you. Do you mind?

- No, no, no.

- There's no reason
for me to be here anymore.

So I'll take you back.

You guys, I'm gonna take
Eileen back.

She's feeling sick.
- Are you ill, babe?

- She's gonna... feels like
she's gonna throw up.

- What?

- I've just been ill
all night long,

trying to, like, be okay,
but I'm not.

- Okay.
- So I'm gonna take her back.

'Cause I don't feel
so good myself.

I'm sorry, Kyle.

- Thank you for coming.

- Are you sick?

Like what? You throwing up?
- Sorry you both are feeling

so badly.
- Have you been crying?

- Yeah. [laughs]

- I'll see you guys later.

- Okay.

- Oh, God.

- Why is Rinna crying?

- Um, can we get a car?

- I'll be back. Hold on.

I have a lot of compassion
for people.

I'm not going to ignore
someone who's in pain,

anyone who's crying.

I don't want to see anyone cry.

- Is Eileen really not well,

or does she just want
to get Rinna out of there?

- I can't tell.

I can't really tell,
to be honest.

- Rinna does have
rage-and-regret syndrome.

Clearly. She has this anger.

And then when she sees
the reaction,

she regrets it.

You can't do that in life.

- You okay?
- I'm not.

I'm not okay.

- Lisa was saying
she's taking Eileen back,

but it looks like Eileen's
really taking Rinna back.

- I know, right?

I feel ill, Kyle. Take me home.

- My life is just too good.

I just can't... I can't be
with another sick person.

Ugh!

- I certainly hope that she
hasn't said these things,

but it's very easy

to not remember everything
that you've said.

- What's going on?
- Nothing.

Rinna and Eileen left.

- Why?

- Rinna was crying,
and Eileen didn't feel well.

I don't know. I feel bad.

We got into
a whole conversation.

- What happened?
- So she asked me.

And then we got into
a whole conversation.

Then she ended up crying.

- Can I have you
just one second?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- So listen. I'm gonna go back.

- Okay.

- 'Cause Rinna was crying
kind of hard.

I'm just gonna
run back to the house.

If you need me,
I'm on the phone.

- Okay. We'll see you soon.

We'll come back.

I know that she's crying.

And I feel bad Eileen...
- Where are you going?

- I'm gonna go check
on Lisa Rinna.

I'm gonna go back to the house.

I'm gonna make sure
Eileen's not vomiting

or whatever.

See you guys later. - Okay.

- I love the event.
- Thank you.

- I had fun and...
- Thank you.

- Yeah, it's really good.
- I'll see you guys at home.

- Okay.
- Bye.

- I love having a party

and people are getting sick
and crying.

- I'm gonna go put my PJs on.
- Okay.

- I mean, of course
I don't want to have a party

and have people leave like that.

But, hey,
if you said those things,

you said them.

[light knocking at door]

- Lisa.
- Yeah.

- You okay?
- Hi.

- Come on.

- I don't know
if I'm okay or good, but...

Yeah.

Um...

- I just don't like
to see you crying,

and I've never seen you
cry like that.

And I know that you feel
hung out to dry.

Whatever happened,
however it happen,

you've got to tell facts only,

because this sh... is ugly.

The words "near death,"
"enabler,"

these words are big words.

- They're big words.

- If they came out,
you've got to say.

- Well, I...
- Do you know what I'm saying?

You have...
Babe, you have to tell her.

- And if I did, if I did it,

I will cop to it.

I just don't know
if I said those words.

- Those are big words.

Come on, now. Please.

- I don't know
if I said those words.

I really don't.

- Lisa Rinna tends
to own up to her sh...,

so maybe she doesn't know,
or maybe she's overwhelmed.

I bet you she'll get around
to owning it.

Lisa, I'm begging you
to just tell the facts.

Okay, babe, please.

- Well, I want
to tell the facts,

but I can't tell the facts

if I don't know the facts 100%.

- You don't...
You really don't remember

if you said it?

- I swear.

- Mauricio, amazing party.

- That was fun, huh?

- Congrats, man.

- Thank you. You guys ready?

- Yeah, let's go.
- Let's go.

- Hey, I've got a great idea.

I've never done it before.

I've never been asked.
I've never thought about it.

Tonight we should do
wife swapping.

[laughter]

- Yeah, but who's
the unlucky f...

Who ends up with you?

- Did you just say that?

Who's the unlucky f...
That ends up with me?

And you're my... [laughing]

- I really love Lisa Vanderpump
and Ken Todd.

But I don't think that my love
goes that deep.

- How many times
have you fallen asleep

whilst waiting for her
to peel that big underwear off?

[laughter] - Never.

[people talking at once]
- Hey, Lisa!

- And you're gonna see
how big they are.

- [laughs]

- Ken, remember that time

you thought Lisa's knickers
were a bedspread?

- There they are.
They're that big.

That big, okay?

- I cannot believe
Lisa Vanderpump's knickers.

Can you believe this? [laughs]

- You know what you should do?

You could take your knickers

and make them into a pillowcase.

- Or drapes.

- I'm sure Ken wants
to wife-swap right now.

- Lisa?
- Yeah.

- See you in a minute.
- I'll be in my room

on all fours,
barking like a dog.

[laughter]

- Coming up...

- It's sad, Mom.

It's really overwhelming to me.

And all they saw
was me trying to cause trouble.

- Do you know what,
it's not your life. Zip it.

[light Latin guitar music]

♪ ♪

- Good morning.

- Hola. [speaking in Spanish]

- [laughs]

- And can I have
an orange juice?

- I love the way
she says "verdad."

- Do I sound fluent?
- Amazing.

- Excuse me.
[speaking in Spanish]

Can I have orange juice?

- [laughs]

[phone rings]

- Hello?

- Hi, baby. How are you?

- Hi, darling.

- We had a little bit
of an issue last night

that I did not expect.

- Uh-oh.
- Yeah.

I walked in to something
that I had no clue,

and I just need
your sage advice,

because it really took me
off guard, and...

- What happened?

- Uh, evidently,

Eden Sassoon, she went
to Lisa Vanderpump's house

and said that I have been saying
awful things about Kim and Kyle

and something about that I said
Kim was near death and that...

- Well, you've never
said that to me.

And... and you've said
just about everything to me.

I don't remember you ever
saying something like

Kim was near death.

I mean, you have said
that she was an addict.

Now, is that the only thing
you said about Kyle?

- And that she was an enabler.

Now it's all been dumped on me,
and I don't think it's right,

and I am not gonna allow it.

And I was in tears last night.

- After all that's gone down,
Kim needs to figure out

how she's gonna deal
with her stuff herself.

And as far as Kyle goes,
if she wants to recognize

what element of enabling
she brings to the situation,

that's her thing
to recognize it or not.

- Well, the thing
that's so interesting is,

it's Eden that's calling her
an enabler right now.

And Eden's trying
to put it onto me,

and I go, "That's not okay.
I'm not taking this on.

It's f... ing bullsh...,"
is what I said, basically.

- Okay, well, then that's
what it is,

and don't take it on.

Don't get drawn into that.
- Okay.

- Go get a suntan or something.

- Harry has the best,
most sage advice.

He talks me off the cliff.

Life is too short.

Let it go, and you move on.

I love talking to you.

You just put me right at ease.

I'm like, "Oh, thank God."

- Love you, baby.

- I love you so much.
- Bye.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[knocking at door]

- [shrieks]

Oh, Mom.

I love you.

- Oh, that feels good.

I love you too.

- I'm making you
Calm Plus Calcium.

You had your calcium today?

- No, nor have I had my calm.

- And then I have poke bowls.

Have you had a poke bowl?

- I just did, in Columbus, Ohio.

- When did you get back?

Were you here
for Cat's birthday?

- I was here. I was here.

- Go sit down.
I'll make you your calm.

- Do I get my calm?
- Yeah.

- At least we're drinking this
and not what we used to.

Cheers. - Cheers, baby girl.

- My mom and I
have not always been close.

My mom was an alcoholic.

When she started to get sober
is when I started to drink.

And she was sober
until my sister died

January 1, 2002.

All these things
are happening in my life,

and Cat keeps coming up
and coming up and coming up.

And I'm like, "I need
to talk to my mom."

It wasn't until we both
grew up and got sober

four years ago

where we could really develop
this relationship

and friendship and bond
that we have as two women.

Remember when she did
"Tuff Turf"?

- That was with James...
Jimmy Spader

and Robert Downey Jr.,

and they were always
at the house.

- But do you remember
the female actresses?

- Kim Richards.

- She's recently come back
in my life,

and the minute
we sort of saw each other,

it was really
an overwhelming moment.

- Nice to see you.
- Hi, hi.

- Thank you. Aw.

- I see these two women,
Kim and Kyle,

and when I see them
or I'm around them,

it's almost like
I see Cat and Eden.

- You were little girls,
you know?

And these are grown women,
so it's a whole different...

You're in a different space.

I'm not saying don't get
involved or participate,

but it's not your life.

- It's sad, Mom.

Like, I'm not a troublemaker.

Like, I really just think
I saw this

and I saw a lot of us,

and it was Cat
and everything that happened,

and it was really
overwhelming to me.

And all they saw was me
trying to cause trouble

and to get involved
in something that I don't know.

- You, my dear, are powerless
over other people's lives.

So we can share it,
but you can't change it, okay?

- Okay.

- Some people don't want to...

They don't want
to interact that way,

and it's just the way
they choose to live their lives.

And that's okay,
because you know what?

It's not your life.

- I guess that's what's
so hard...

- So many times,
I say certain things

about my kids or their spouses
or relationships or whatever

and I have to go,
"Okay, this is not my life."

- [sighs]
- "Zip it."

- Why does it, like,
get me so deep?

- 'Cause you're
your father's daughter.

[laughs]

You are one passionate cookie.

- She's right.

She's telling me
all the things I already know.

I just can't get out
of my own way to see it.

I love you.

- I love you too, sweetheart.

Little baby girl.
Can I have a hug?

- You'll give me
the hugs I'd like.

You have to be open
and receptive to me

or allow me in
to change with you.

When someone doesn't want that,
like Kim and Kyle,

then I need to realize
I am powerless.

Let it go. Stop.

- Okay, we can do this again
but not too often,

See? See? [laughs]

- Let go.

- Coming up...

- Vanderpump couldn't be
happier that I'm...

- That's the strangest thing
right there.

- She wants, more than anything,

for me to go down, bam.

[fast-paced Latin guitar music]

♪ ♪

- Let's call Peggy.

[phone line rings]

- Hi.
- Hi, Peggy.

How are my babies?

- You want to say hi to Mama?

- Hello, Mama.

- Mommy's right here, Jag.

Mommy's right here.

- Mama!

- Peggy, just tell him that...

Tell him we'll be back tomorrow.

- Dorit,
please don't start crying.

- Peggy, what are you doing
to my wife?

- That's why I didn't want
to tell her he said, "Mama."

Please, Dorit, don't cry.

They are okay.

They are splendid children.
They are clean.

They don't have no poo-poo
in their pan-pan.

And we fed them,
and they are good.

- To be away from my kids,

it's painful; it hurts.

- Okay.
- Love you.

- Love you, Mr. PK.

- Love you, darling. Bye.

- It's like someone's sticking
their hand inside my chest,

squeezing my heart,
and not letting go.

- They're in such good hands.

[upbeat music]

- Hi, guys.
- Hi, darling.

- Good morning.
- You're okay.

I thought you looked
a bit emotional down there.

- Oh, just having a chat.

I called the kids.

- Oh, that'll do it.

- Jag was just,
"Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama."

- That's good, though, right?
"Mama, Mama, Mama"?

- Oh, yeah.

- Well, where's Rinna
and Eileen?

'Cause I want to say good-bye
to everybody.

- Is Eileen feeling any better?

- Yes, she is.

She hadn't eaten,
so she wasn't feeling her best.

She feels much better today.

- Good morning.

- Oh, you look pretty.
- Hi, darling.

Are you going now, then?

- Going where?

- On the boat.
- Yes, we're going on the boat.

- So I'm leaving now too.
- You're leaving?

- Yeah.
- That's so depressing.

Why do you have to go?

- 'Cause I'm going
to Washington.

I'm going to speak at Congress

to stop the Yulin dog meat
festival in China,

where they cruelly and
barbarically torture dogs.

- Stop Yulin forever.

Crowd: Stop Yulin forever!

- I've shed so many tears
over it.

You have no idea.

But we need to make it
political,

put the pressure on China,
and that's what we're doing.

I'm going to get my things
together, okay?

And then I'll come out,

so don't go before I go, right?

And I think that's gonna be
a lot easier to deal with

than Rinna and Kyle
on the boat together all day.

So adios, amigos.

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

- Morning, Lisa. How are you?

- Good to see you.

- You too.

- Hi.
- How are you?

Good morning.
Did you sleep okay?

- I did, actually,
believe it or not.

- I didn't.

- I don't know how I did.

- I didn't.

I'm feeling uncomfortable

because of what happened
last night with Lisa Rinna.

But I also feel bad
that she left in tears.

Okay, so we're going
on the catamaran.

How long are we going for?

- 3 hours, 3 1/2 hours.

- Even though it was
uncomfortable last night,

I feel better that at least
it was talked about.

You know, holding it in

would have been a lot worse
for me.

- You guys off?
- Yeah.

- Well, we're off.

Thank you so much
for coming down

and for supporting us.

I hope you had a good time.

- Have a good trip back,
you guys.

- It'll be better.
- I know it will be.

- You'll learn something
from it.

- I will... I've learned
a lot already from it.

I... I will make it better.

I don't tell Lisa Vanderpump
to mind her own business,

because she's not gonna mind
her own business.

That's not what she does.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- This is where I belong:
back of the bus.

♪ ♪

- Look, an iguana!
- Where?

- Look, right there!
He's massive!

- Oh, yeah.
- Right there!

"Jurassic Park"!

- You are a good
iguana spotter, Erika.

- I'm a really...
When we go to safari,

I'm a really good spotter.

I can spot all kinds of sh...

- Can you spot snakes?

- It's my specialty.

- Snakes in the grass?

- My specialty.

[lively music]

♪ ♪

- It's not a catamaran;
it's like a yacht.

♪ ♪

- This is beautiful.

- Hola. Cómo estás?
- Muy bien.

- This is what, really,
Mexico is about...

You know, swimming, sun,
fun, laughs,

a margarita or two.

- Whoo!

- Welcome aboard.
- Hola. Thank you.

- Thanks.
- Very nice.

- Margarita.

If anyone needs a drink,
it's me.

- You're gonna be fine, honey.

- Thank you. I know.

- Stop letting random strangers
give you advice.

♪ ♪

- Whoo!

[laughs]

- What a gorgeous day.

Look how lucky we are
on this beautiful boat

on this beautiful place.

- Kenny and Lisa missed out
today.

- They did miss out.
- I know.

- What a great trip.

- Yeah, you've excelled
yourself, Mo.

- I feel like I have
a hangover, but I don't.

You know that feeling?

- Yeah, when the emotions
run that high,

it really takes a toll
on your body.

- I feel like I have
an emotional hangover.

The worst, most emotional
part of this

is not feeling seen or heard

and not really understanding
where it all came from.

And Vanderpump
couldn't be happier that I...

- That's the strangest thing,
right there.

That, I don't understand.

- Yes, you do.

- That, I don't...
Okay, you're right; I do.

- Of course you understand it.

It's because I called her out.

Why did you come after me
at your house

and say, "Bring Kyle into this.

Why didn't you bring Kyle
into this?"

- No, no, no, no, Lisa.

- Don't deflect.
Why did you say that?

- That is not true.

- And so now she wants,
more than anything,

for me to go down, bam.

- To say that everything you say
all the time is just...

- Is just wrong and a lie.

Well, I'm sorry.

- Yeah, that's not cool.

- Rinna, you're lying
or Eden's lying.

- It's Eden.
She's projecting it onto me.

I will not f... ing take it.

I'm sorry. I won't take it.

Oh, she was so gleeful
last night.

She was having an orgasm
in her pink dress.

[laughs]

She was like, "Oh,
Rinna's going down. Yes!"

She loved every minute of it.

- Coming up...

- There's a shark.
- [screams]

- [laughs]

- [screams]

- Put the pedal to the metal!

Let's get out of here.

[playful music]

- Eileen and Lisa,
they isolate themselves.

- Very much a twosome.

- Know what I mean?

- They have a bond.

- You know, if you want
to ingratiate yourself

to people,
you don't necessarily go

and sit in the furthest point
of the boat, the two of you.

Do you know what I mean?

- They are very close.

- They're a package deal.

- They're not a package deal.

I wouldn't say that.
They're individuals.

But you know what?
They do have a bond.

And I can respect that,
and I understand that.

- Yeah.
- It doesn't bother me at all.

Why does PK care
if Rinna and Eileen

are chatting
at one side of the boat?

I mean, they are friends.

It...

I don't see this
as some great conspiracy.

All right, let's go. in front.
- Yeah?

- Yeah, come on.
- Okay.

- I'm gonna go eat something.

Hi!

Gorgeous, right?

- Yeah, it's amazing.

- Hi, baby!

- I'm coming
to ruin your privacy.

- Look at this.
Is this not heaven?

- Are you in a good place?

Are you in a better place
than you were last night?

- Please tell me
the word is "yes."

- I am. Yes, for sure.

Are you kidding?

I'm sorry; I'm in the moment.

I am actually living
in the moment...

Right here, right now...
Which is wonderful.

- Okay.
- It's beautiful.

- You recover well, yeah?

- That's really nice of you
to say, PK.

Thank you.

- I think
it's a good characteristic.

- Oh, that's so nice.

- Let's go swimming. Is it time?

- What about the sharks?

- Sharks?

Aren't you more concerned
about the company you keep

than f... ing sharks?

- I'm more concerned about
the women than the sharks.

- Right. F... the sharks.

Let's go jump.

- I just want to have fun,
for God sakes.

- [screams]

- Is it cold?
- It's great, Eileen.

- I want to put last night
behind us.

- There's a shark.
- [screams]

- [laughs]

- And, you know, somebody
could push me off.

Absolutely.

But I'm gonna jump
before I allow that to happen.

[screams]

- Wow, good girl.

- Oh, my God.
- [screams]

- Now.

- Dorit and I don't care.

We have nothing to prove.

We don't want to waste
our margaritas.

Why would we waste
our margarita?

Idiots. [laughs]

- Dorit, I'll get you
a Birkin if you jump.

- A Birkin?

- Now you've just upped
the stakes.

- Want to lose
those diamonds when you jump?

- That offer's expiring
in a minute.

- Say "Birkin"
in just about any situation,

and you're probably gonna get me

to do just about anything.

[laughs]

Please tell the children
that I love them very much.

[shrieks]

- Baby, you're awesome.

- And that is how you get
a Birkin.

- Whoo!
- Yes!

- She did it!
- You did it!

- Proud of you. [applause]

- Thank you, Erika, by the way.

- Hello, Lisa.
- Hello.

Any music?

- If you put on "Painkillr,"
I'll get on the table.

- Here we go, girls.

["Painkillr" playing]

- [shrieks] Okay, wait a second.

- ♪ Leaning on you ♪

♪ Pushing me deeper,
striking... ♪

- Oh, my God.

Oh... my... God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

- ♪ Striking me down ♪

♪ When all I had was love ♪

♪ Like a painkiller ♪

♪ Killer, killer, killer,
killer ♪

♪ Painkiller ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Like a painkiller ♪

- Yes, bitch!
I knew you had it in you.

See, I knew you wanted to.

♪ ♪

[cheers and applause]

- Kyle, you're next.

- Rinna, all is forgiven
after that.

- How many f... s do I give?
Zero!

How many? Zero!

What? Zero!

F... you. Zero, zero, zero!

[laughs]

- Bravo! Bravissimo!

- Next time on "The Real
Housewives of Beverly Hills"...

- This is not that hard.

You guys can manage
your high heels.

- How would Harry Hamlin know
what it's like

to walk in heels
down a driveway?

- You look beautiful.

- Now, I love an award.

This is probably
my first one I've ever gotten.

[laughter]

And it's probably gonna be
my last.

- The little drug scene,
that's all...

Everything's all clear?

- Everything's clear.
- And what do they use for that?

- Baby laxative.

- Snorting a baby laxative?

- Yeah.
- [laughs]

- What can you cook?

- Me? I can make
a mean grilled cheese sandwich.

- Ooh.
- A cheese sandwich?

A grilled cheese?
- Yeah, what I'm good at, man.

The worst meal I've ever made?

F..., every meal. [laughs]

- Lisa Rinna said that
she's not sure if you're sober,

that you're close to death,
and your family knows it.

I know.

- When I talked to Vanderpump...

- Why would you go
to Vanderpump?

- [sighs]

- Do not go behind my back
and talk about me

with these other women

and then expect me
to be there for you.

- To learn more
about the Housewives, go to...