The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2010–…): Season 6, Episode 7 - Pretty Mess - full transcript

- Previously on...

- Ooh, you clean up good.

By day I'm Erika Girardi,

but by night,
I'm something else.

- All right,
all right, all right.

Mother has arrived.

- Are they gonna put
the needle here?

- I'm removing my implants

because I
have free-floating silicone.

- You don't mind if I ride
the whole way like this, do you?

- It's gonna
be a fabulous party.



- I don't know
where my friends are.

I wish they'd stayed here.

- This is gorgeous.
- Stunning.

I feel a little guilty
about leaving Lisa,

but it's vanishing
really quickly.

- You're on the cover, too,
you know.

This is your afternoon.

Kim was arrested.

- I think she needs help.

- She would not go into a store

and steal $600 worth of toys.

- I don't even want
to talk about that.

- Do you know where she is?
Do you know anything?

[upbeat music]



- My lips were made for talking,

and that's just what they'll do.

- In Beverly Hills,
you can be anything,

but it's most important
to be yourself.

- I'm an enigma
wrapped in a riddle and cash.

- I may be an actress,

but that doesn't mean
I'll stick to your script.

- Fake friends
believe in rumors.

Real friends believe in you.

- I'm passionate about dogs,
just not crazy about bitches.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- We're gonna have dinner.

- Okay, let's go to dinner.

Let's go to dinner.
Don't get your heels caught.

- I think we need some food.

- I mean, we need food for sure.

- Bring out?

- Halle-flipping-lujah.

- Give Giggy a glass of water.

- Yeah, I just had a whole bowl,
baby.

- Thank you. I love you.

It's kind of amazing,
really at my time of life,

to be on the cover
of any magazine,

but it's a real compliment to be
put on the cover of "Bella"

and to have a party
thrown in my honor.

I'm kind of flattered.

You know what's really hard

is when you know somebody is a
couple and they're really tight,

and then you go away
like we did,

and there's so much animosity.
- I know.

It's so hard not to take sides.
It's...

- What the fááá
are we talking about?

- Mutual friends of ours.

- Mutual friends of ours

that were together for a long,
long time and got divorced.

- And there's so much animosity.

- People... the way they
get divorced is so disgusting.

- How can you hate somebody that
you slept with and you loved

and you discussed
your kids' futures with?

It's weird. It happens a lot.

- And you shared
so many moments with.

- You got divorced, right?

How long were you married?

- I was married for six months
the first time.

- You've been married twice?
- Yeah.

I've been married three times.

- No.

- Yes.
- No. Wow.

- I honestly thought that
me being married three times

was common knowledge.

Is it really new information?

- So then you were married
the second time,

and then you met Vinny?

- Yeah, I met him on my show.

- You me him on what,
"The Young and the Restless"?

- Mm-hmm.

- What do they say?

The third time in marriage
is when you get it right?

I think I was fortunate enough
to get it right the first time.

Did you have to kiss him on set?
- We did.

- No.

- I knew he was married,
and I was married, and we were...

I was totally respectful
of that, but whatever.

So he and I...

We just... We had a friendship
for a very long time.

- Okay, so when
you made out for the first time,

did you feel like, "Oh, my God"?

- I mean...

- How did the affair start then?

- We just kind of fell in love.

I told my husband at the time,

I go,
"We've got a situation here.

I'm having feelings
for somebody."

- So then you met Vinny.

You then, like,
had an affair with...

But your husband
didn't know about him?

- No, I separated
from my husband.

- Oh, so you separated
from your husband

before things started. Ah.
- Yes. Before, yes.

I was like, "This isn't good.

We got to separate."
- Oh, my God.

- I'm trying to be nice,

and I'm having a conversation
with Lisa,

but now I'm regretting even
going there with her.

She's totally grilling me
about how I met Vinny.

- If you have a hat
and an English accent,

you can be mean,
and it sounds nice.

- No, it's good.
I want to hear the things, so...

- Oh, it's good. It's good.

- Oh, you ask... okay,
turn around, I'll say anything.

So how long did you marry him
after you met him?

- I think that when Lisa
is very curious

and wants to know something,
she can be very persistent,

and obviously Eileen does not

want to talk about this topic.

I don't even want
to say the A-word.

- When you married Vinny,
did you think, "This is it"?

- We're meant to be together.

- How long have you been
married now?

- 12 and 1/2 years now.

We've been together
for about 15.

- Lisa Vanderpump
in being insensitive.

Whether she knows it or not,

whether it's conscious or
subconscious, I do believe that.

Look at her.

- Lisa, cheers.

- Cheers.

- Beautiful cover
of a beautiful magazine.

You and Giggy
look gorgeous on the cover.

- Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you for coming.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, where is everybody?

[phone trilling]

- Hello?

- Hi, how are you?

- I'm good. How are you?

- Good. What's going on?

- Oh, my God, it's been a
little bit of a crazy weekend.

I'm not gonna lie.

- How far away am I from you
if I'm right in South Hampton?

Not too far away?
- Um, I'd say...

I mean, since
there'd be traffic right now,

but I would say
it probably be 20.

- Okay, we're going
to a wine tasting today,

and then we're gonna be
at your house later.

Everyone's
looking forward to it.

Bethenny and I have been friends
for 25 years now,

and we've actually really seen
each other's lives change a lot

and gone through a lot
with each other.

It's interesting
to see where Bethenny was

and how far she's come,

and I always feel extremely
proud of her in everything

that she's accomplished.

I cannot wait to see your house.

I'm so excited.
- So who's coming now?

- The two Lisas, Rinna
and Vanderpump, Eileen and me,

and then Erika.

She's actually Yolanda's friend.

- Are you good
with Lisa Vanderpump?

- Yeah, we're good.

Well, she's mad
that I moved to a house.

- She was annoyed?
- Yeah, but she's over it now.

It's fine. We're good.
We're good.

- What was the shoot for?
- "Bella" magazine.

- What is that?
- I don't know.

It's like a local magazine,
and she did a cover.

They had a party
there last night.

- Local like Hamptons?
I've never heard of it.

Bring it over 'cause
I've never even seen it.

- Okay. I'll try to come
a little earlier so we can talk.

Bye. - Bye-bye.

- Okay,
you want to go wine tasting?

It was good fun last night,
wasn't it?

- It was a long night,
wasn't it?

- Yeah, I feel a bit
mossy-headed this morning.

- Mm.

- This dress looks like a big
white puffball.

- It looks good.

Looks very Hamptons-ish.

- You look pretty.
- Thank you. You look gorgeous.

- Oh, you look very Hamptons-y.

Fresh as a daisy.

- Hey, you guys.
- Oh, you look pretty.

- Thank you. So do you.

- Do you have the password?
- Yes.

- I cannot do it.
- The password is South Hampton

with one "H." - Wait.

- South Hampton with one "H."
- Oh, okay.

- Okay, so...
- So South Hampton

- South Hampton?
- Hampton with one "H."

- Southampton.
- Southampton.

- This couldn't be any easier,
but I still can't get it.

How many women does it take
to figure out a spelling

of "South Hampton"?

Capital or not capital "H"?

- Lowercase.
- Lowercase.

- Southampton.

Clearly more than three.

- By the way, Bethenny said
a little dressier than jeans.

- Oh, good.
I have a cute little jumpsuit.

- Oh, she does have jeans.
- Yay.

- Okay, let me think.
What am I bringing?

Oh, I'm bringing my muffin.
- Get it.

- Let's go. Off to the winery.

- I'm not good on pebbles
with my heels.

I don't know.
- Thank you so much.

- You know
where it reminds me of?

It reminds me of being
in Saint-Tropez,

like Sank-on-sank or something.

Does it you? - Yeah, it's nice.

- Hello.
- Oh.

- Oh, that's that bag
we bought in Italy together.

- I love. Good morning.

- You look very fresh
this morning.

How was your sleep?

- Oh, I slept like a baby.

I'm not quite sure how to deal
with Lisa Vanderpump.

She asked me some questions
about how I met my husband.

I felt uncomfortable,
and guess what, I still do.

Are you looking for another
rosé for your line?

- I am actually.

- I don't do well
with unresolved feelings.

Frankly I just... I really...
I suck. I do.

I just... It's written
all over my face.

I can't hide it.

When you do
the wine tasting, Lisa,

do you, like, swirl it
in your mouth and spit it out?

- She gobbles up
the whole damn glass.

- I swallow it down.
- Don't worry, men.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Good day, ladies.
- Hi.

- We've got you set up outside.

We're gonna do a tasting.
All: Okay.

- Oh, this is so beautiful.

- Just make your way
out to the farm table

you see out there.

- I've never seen
this size bottle. What is this?

- That is a dessert wine.

That's our blueberry port.
- Look how beautiful that is.

- Something to nosh on.
- Thank you.

- Okay, this is our rosé.

- Here's to you meeting Erika.

- It's actually very fruity
though, isn't it?

- Would you toast?

- You've all met Erika, right?
- I've met Erika.

- Yeah.
- I don't know this girl,

so of course I Googled her.
- Mm-hmm.

- And I Googled this video
that she had done.

- ♪ You made me believe I
was so far away ♪

♪ Far away and I ♪

- I'm so curious to meet her now
because she's free. Come on.

- Oh, you didn't meet her?
- I haven't met her,

so I'm gonna meet her tonight,
and all of a sudden

I'm gonna see her ass,
like, up in the air,

like, doing things like...
- Okay, where is it?

- Now I'm dying to see.

- I mean, it's sexual in a way
that I just was like, "Whoa."

I'm working
on being nonjudgmental,

so I'm just reporting.

- You're being a prude, Rinna.

Maybe she's being judgmental,

but she doesn't want everybody
else to be judgmental of her

being judgmental.

- Who wants to watch it?

- ♪ You made me believe
I was so far away ♪

♪ Far away and I ♪
- Wow.

And by the way,
this isn't anything like...

She's not like this in life.

She's not, like,
doing this, "Hi, everybody."

- No. No, this is performance.

This is probably like her
alter ego I would imagine.

- Oh, I see what you're saying.

- ♪ Killer, killer, killer,
killer, killer, killer ♪

♪ Killer, killer, killer ♪

- I love it. I, like, think
this is outrageously amazing.

- Oh, you like it?

- It's raunchy.

- Who is that?
- Oh, my God.

- Shh. Turn the music down.

I think it is the combination
of the orgy, sex, male, female.

It makes me uncomfortable.

- Oh,
we need to make our own video.

We need to compete
with this sháá.

- Next up is
our Sauvignon Blanc.

- Cheers. Here's to South Port.

- Done like that.

- Did you like that?
- It's not my favorite.

- This is what it was.

I knew I was gonna
meet this person,

and I didn't want
that to be the only...

- Your first impression.
- You know, my first impression.

I don't mind watching
that if it's porn.

I don't meet the porn stars.

So maybe if I don't know you,
it's okay,

but if I am gonna know you,

I go, "Ooh, God. Wow."

- All I can say
is I would love to do

what she's doing just for fun.
- Oh, please.

- Look, she's smiling.
She's excited already.

- You are so nasty.

- I know who I really am.
- Lovely.

- Maybe Eileen has this fantasy

of wanting to live
out her inner rock star.

- Meunier has a champagne grape.

This is going to be a campfire
in your mouth minus the flame.

- Maybe that's
my alter ego's name.

"Campfire in your mouth
without a flame."

- Wow. Okay, thank you.
- There's a bee!

- Oh, God.
- Go.

- Oh, for God sake.

- I'm sorry
that I have to leave,

but I don't have my EpiPen.
- You have to leave?

- Stupidly I left it
at the house.

I feel like I spend
my whole life running from bugs.

You think there are ticks here?
- Ahh!

- Oh, my God,
put your legs like this.

- Don't let a tick
get up your hoo-hoo.

- Ahh!

- Coming up...

- Let's just say this. Ken has
better tits than her now.

- I'm Erika. Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

Erika has it o-on.

- We watched your video.
- [chuckles]

video

and you've shared it
with all of us?

- I'm excited.
- What are you all wearing?

- I was gonna wear jeans,
but I'm not wearing jeans now.

Forget that.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Perfect.

Pea gravel
so I can break my ankle.

- You guys, I'm gonna
go over early to Bethenny's

and then you guys
can meet me over there.

- Have you been knocking?
- Hey, you. How are you?

- Oh, you look cute.
How are you?

- How are you?

- Nice to see you.
- Good to see you too.

- This is Lisa.
- Hello.

- I'm Erika. Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, Erika.

- I'm Lisa.
- Nice to meet you.

- A pleasure.
- They've had a look at...

You know, there's a couple rooms
down here.

Do you want to take a peek?
- Oh, yeah. Hello.

- I don't care
where I go or what I do.

- Okay, let me show you this.

- Erika has it o-on.

Like, cotton candy meets CHANEL
meets Vegas showgirl,

and I'm taking it all in.

- How are you feeling?
Are you exhausted?

- I'm a little tired,
but I'm ready to party

- You're gonna push through?

- We're getting
our drinking boots on.

- Your drinking boots?
- We're drinking boots.

Well, Bethenny said
we're having drinks,

and we're gonna have
a little crazy girls night.

- That's good.
I love crazy girls.

- Flying in from Chicago,

going to a dinner party
in the Hamptons, perfect.

I like to live life
100 miles an hour.

- How was your show last night?
- It was great.

A lot of people,
gay pride, Chicago.

One of my favorite towns.
- Oh, fantastic.

- ♪ Everything I am, I bought ♪

♪ Dress me up my dilettante ♪

- We watched your video
that you have on...

- Wow. Like,
you are really, like...

It's crazy out there.

Yeah, and I mean,
I was watching your video...

- And she's like, "Oh, my gosh.

This is racy."
- And I went, "Oh, my God.

"I don't know
if I can watch the rest of this

for a minute" 'cause it's like...

- I know.
- You know?

You're like... - Of course.

100%. It's a character,

and you have to be willing
to put yourself out there.

It's not... - It's so true.

She has the right attitude.
It's a character.

- That's why I want to know
how... Is it like acting?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

- It's just like acting...
- That's what I wanted to know.

- In front of people...
The audience.

- Right.
- You just... It's the same thing.

It was, you know, inspired
by some really sexy moments,

and that's what you do.
You put it out there.

- And your husband's cool
with it, so what the hell?

- Yeah.
- You got to love it.

- Yeah.
- No, I get it. It is.

It's a job.

- The other irony here is that
she's posed for "Playboy"

a couple times. - I know.

- So it's like...
- I know.

- I think it's so cool
what Erika does.

I think it's
everybody's fantasy.

To be able to go off
and be somebody

completely different
on the weekends,

and her husband supports her,
who wouldn't love to do that?

- Where is your stuff?
We have it in the...

- I threw it down
in the hallway.

- You got to get ready.
- We should let you come and get

ready, get chilled, you know.
- You got to get dressed.

- Okay.
- You going like that?

- No, I have something
to change into.

- 'Cause... you look gorgeous.

- Thanks.
I grabbed my black jumpsuit.

I need to stick it
in the shower.

- Okay, perfect.
- And I'll turn on the shower.

- I'm gonna go and head over to
Bethenny's, hang out with her,

and then you guys can ride over,
and I'll meet you guys there.

- Okay, we'll see you soon.

- There's a big difference
between being around a crowd

of gays and a group
of Beverly Hills women.

- Welcome to the Hamptons.
- Thank you.

- I'm gonna get dressed.

Got to be on the A-game
around the women.

You know, you got to listen,
got to watch.

It's important
to really... be present.

- Where are you?
- We're here.

- I brought you guys
T-shirts from the show.

- Oh, thank you.
- Oh, thank you.

- Beautiful.
- That's very thoughtful of you.

- You are so gorgeous, my God.

- Is your husband back in L.A.?
- He is.

- When are you leaving
from here?

- Tuesday. I go to pick up
Yolanda from Cleveland.

- You're with us then?

- When was the last time
you talked to her?

- I text her last night.

She said she's in pain,
but she's doing okay.

She said she can't wait to show
me what came out of her body.

- Like a lot of silicone?
- I think so.

What I found interesting

was that she said her doctor
had done 9,000 explants.

- How did she find this doctor?

- I'm not sure,
but I know the Cleveland Clinic

is, like, the best.

- I hope this is
the magic bullet.

- God, wouldn't that be
just amazing that...

- This was the key to,

you know, getting her back 100%.

- Wow. It could be.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Is that hurting you?

- I'm just feel it
inside my breast.

You can get your degree
in nursing, baby.

You're a really good nurse.
- Yeah.

- This is not what you
signed up for, my baby.

This wasn't part
of the nuptials.

- You be the patient.

I'll be the doctor, okay?

- Okay, Dr. Foster.

It's so important for me
to have David here by my side

in this part of my journey,

and I couldn't imagine
doing it without him.

How is my color today?
Does it look good?

- You're getting a little red
in your...

[phone ringing]

Hello?

- David?
- Oh, hello, Lisa.

By the way,
I just saw those flowers.

They're beautiful.
- She got them?

Were they pink? - Yeah.

No, there's no pink
in them at all sorry to say.

- Oh, I ordered pink though.

- No, no, no.
They're beautiful though.

Thank you so much.

And our patient is right here,
and she's listening.

- Hi.

- Here she is.
- Oh.

- How are you, darling?

How are you? - How are you?

- I had a lot of old silicone,

like, all the way
in my chest cavity.

- They've taken everything.

- Well, wherever they
could get through to.

This feels like I'm at war,

and somebody shot a "ka-non"
in my chest.

"Ka-non." A cannon. "Ka-non."

- Let's just say this.

Ken has better tits
than her now.

Bigger.

- Oh, my God. Yeah.

- Well, she did really great.
It was a seven hour surgery,

and lots going on.

It was really intense.

- I really think this might have
been my problem

of why I'm not getting better.

Right, baby? - Yep.

- Yeah.
- Oh, please, God.

Really? - Yeah.

- I think this has been
a long journey, and I hope that,

you know, taking
these bloody breast implants out

is gonna be the solution
that she needs.

All right, well,
I wish you well,

and I hope
that this is, you know,

exactly what you were searching
for, and that it's a done deal.

- I hope so, and thank you
for the beautiful flowers.

I appreciate it.

I'm not coughing for
the first time in four years,

which is amazing.

You know,
to take such a big burden

off my immune system, you know,

I truly believe that it can now
solely focus on, you know,

killing the Lyme disease.

All right, sweetie,
thank you so much. Okay.

- Okay, bye-bye.
- Thanks, bye.

[upbeat music]

- We have to pick up Vanderpump
on the way to Bethenny's.

- Well, where's Lisa Vanderpump?

- She's still at the hotel
because she

came in for the event.
- Was it there?

- Yes, and they put her up,

so she feels obligated
to stay there.

- Of course, yeah, sure.

- Have you ever met Bethenny?
- Never.

- I haven't either.
- You've met Bethenny?

- I met Bethenny.
I met her at a fashion show.

I'd gone to meet Kelly Bensimon
at the fashion show.

- Oh, look, the sexy women. Hi.

I thought... I mean,
I really like Kelly Bensimon,

but I think
I might like Bethenny better.

That really is the story.

You're gonna like her.

- She looks like she's
a real straightforward, normal...

- Really, I love her.

Now, did you just come from...
- Chicago.

I just landed right now.

- You flew... You have a plane?
- Yep.

- Is there an airport
you can fly into?

- Yes,
there is in South Hampton.

Yes. - You really just... Yeah.

- Yeah, like legit. Like, legit.

I landed from Chicago,

dropped my things off
at the Capri Hotel,

and headed on over to Kyle's so
I wouldn't be late for dinner.

I mean, Lisa Vanderpump's
staying at the Capri.

How bad could it be?

- That's nice. I was in the
car for five hours yesterday.

- Oh, you should've, like,...

- I will probably
do the helicopter next time.

- It's easier.
It's worth the money.

- I lost five hours
of my life in that car.

Five hours of my life,
that's amazing.

- Coming up...

- Oh, my God.

What the fááá?

She looks like a Playboy Bunny.

That's a lot
of work right there.

That's a lot of upkeep.

♪ ♪

- What are we dressing it with?
A little olive oil.

Not balsamic or anything,
just keep it simple.

- Yeah.
- These peppers cooked enough?

- Yes.

- It needs season a little bit.

- Yeah, nothing was seasoned.
- Nothing was seasoned yet?

Okay.

- Oh, my God.
- What?

- Oh, my God.

Oh, my God,
I'm dying over the house.

- Do you love it?
- I'm dying.

Here's a little pressy
housewarming.

- Oh, my God. That's so nice.
Oh, my God. I'm so excited.

Oh, my God, what a nice gift.

This is so nice.

- When I first met Bethenny,

she was working
at La Scala Boutique,

a restaurant in Beverly Hills.

- This is an amazing present.

They're all different colors?

- Yeah, there's some reddish,
orange, pink.

- I'm so excited.
Thank you so much.

- And thank you.

She came up to my table
and was like,

"Hi, I'm dating
your ex-boyfriend."

- Isn't this so pretty
and so great?

- Can you believe this is yours?

Basically, she wanted to know if

the expensive eye makeup remover

in his bathroom was mine

'cause she wanted to know
what dumb idiot

would spend that kind of money
on eye makeup remover.

No way. - So look.

- It's like
a dollhouse for adults.

- Is this great?
- It's a bar house.

- It was just a sháááy shack,

and I just took
reclaimed wood and made it.

- Are you just loving it?

- Yes, and you know
how psycho I am,

so I never mess up my house.

- No dirt, no fingerprints

or you might kill them.
- Exactly.

That's why your friends
have to eat outside.

All right.
- I'm in love, oh, my God.

So I can't believe
this is all yours.

I'm so excited. - Oh, my God.

- Where was Bethenny
living 25 years ago?

It was like a little box,

and now she's
in this gorgeous house.

It's incredible.

She's always been a go-getter.

Whether she was going to be
selling shawls out of the back

of her Ford Probe
or owning Skinnygirl,

she was gonna make it.

She was working her way
to the top,

and nothing was gonna stop her.

Thank you.

- So what's going on?
So tell me about this weekend.

- We have, you know,
your book signing,

and I have to check on my store.

- Wait, so I heard
about the Kim stuff.

Is it being much more blown
out of proportion

than it actually is like
everything else in the media?

- You know what? It's been...

It's been really bad
for my family,

and I feel like everybody
keeps asking and asking.

- I feel badly for you 'cause
you feel like you're, like,

on the outside of it.

- Well, people, like,
"Why aren't you doing anything?"

- No, and then you feel
like it was a bad person.

- People don't realize.

You can't help someone
unless they want to be helped,

and I almost feel
like my presence

sometimes ignites things.
It makes it worse, so...

- I know you're doing
what you're gonna do,

and whatever she's doing,
she's just doing it out of pain

and reaching out
and subconscious,

and you do crazy sháá.

- I just hate all the lies
and the rumors and that stuff.

It hurts a lot
too because, like,

"Oh, now
I'm gonna get all weird."

See, I can't help myself.

This is what
always happens so...

You know, when mom... We always
said, "You girls always

stick together no matter what,"

but it's not always easy.

- I don't think
she wants you in her face,

and I get that.

- But that doesn't mean
I'm not dealing

with everything with my family.
- Right. Right.

- I feel like it's different

when Bethenny asks me
about my sister, Kim,

because she's known both of us
for so many years.

She knows our history.

She's heard a lot of stories.

I don't feel as defensive
when Bethenny asks me.

I mean, it's so crazy
how long we've been friends.

- You still have
96 CHANEL purses.

You were living
with your daughter

in your mom's apartment...
- I started young.

- And your mom
had a mayonnaise jar

with diamond rings in it.

- She would hide it.
- She had a jar.

- It was a fake mayonnaise jar
that she would hide

her jewelry in.
- And we would go through.

- This is one of
her diamonds, you know?

- I know. Had that when I
worked for Kathy,

and then I used to drive
and buy stuff and take Nicky

and... the fight
we got into at the minimart

with Paris and Nicky?

- My sister, Kathy,
was looking for someone

to help drive Paris and Nicky
to school every day,

so Bethenny got the job.

I can't believe
you remember that.

Looking back,
the thought of Bethenny and I

in the front seat driving,
Paris, Nicky, and Farrah

in the back eating
their ice cream after school,

I mean,
that was a very lively car.

- You think it'll be fun
tonight?

Is this a fun group?

- Yeah, I think so.

- Who's Erika? What's her story?

- So Erika... her husband

is the lawyer they did the movie
about with Erin Brockovich.

He's 76, I think. She's 44.

- But is he, like, a spry 76?

- I mean, I haven't met him,

but anyway, she's also
a performer, a dancer.

- Like in Vegas?
- I have her Instagram.

I'll show you.
- So who is she dancing for?

- Okay, I'm gonna show you.
I'm gonna show you.

So this is her today,
I guess, flying here. Yeah.

- Oh, my God.

Oh, what the fááá?

That was today? - That's today.

That's what she was wearing when
she showed up.

- You guys flew private here?
- No, she did.

- Oh, she flies private
everywhere she goes?

- Yeah.
- All right, Barbie.

- Yeah.
- Hold on.

Let me see what else is...
Holy sháá.

She's hot. - She's beautiful.

- That's a lot
of work right there.

That's a lot of upkeep.

- We were wondering
about your hashtag, áááá.

- Oh, yeah. áááá.

- What is that about?
- It just means being sassy.

It's like being bitchy.

- It was... okay.

Like, you're not calling
somebody that?

- No, I'm calling myself áááá.

- Oh, I like that.
- Lisa Vanderpump's áááá.

I mean, but you know,
it's in a good way.

Well, well, well.

- Hello, you.
- Hi.

- Hi, I'm Ken.

- I'm Erika. Nice to meet you.

- Hello.

- She looks
like a Playboy Bunny.

I'm into it.

- This is her alter ego
she said.

- That is a bad bitch
right there. Yeah.

- When did you get in?
- This afternoon.

- Like, what kind of show is it?

Because I saw a little bit
on the phone.

It was erotic. - Thank you.

- Yeah.
- Thank you.

- Yeah.
- That was what I was going for.

That's what it is.

- Anyway it looked
beautifully shot.

- Thank you. Thank you.
- I'm not just saying that.

- It's just funny
that you're like,

"This is what she's doing."

I wonder how she
sold this to her guy,

like, at 70-something.

- He probably loves that.

- Loves her with her fingers

in her ass crack with two
different knuckle rings on?

I mean, I guess he loves that.
I don't know.

♪ ♪

- Oh, my God. We're late.

- Are you out of here?
- No, I'm coming in.

- Oh.
- I'm not staying in

because I'm going out
for dinner with my buddy.

- Oh, you're gonna take that?
- Okay.

Thank you. I'll be back.

- Hello.

- Hi.
- Oh, my God.

I'm so happy to see you.
- Thank you.

- Oh, my God.
- How are you?

Really nice to meet you.
Welcome.

- Erika's here.

- Okay.
- Where's Erika?

- Hi.
- How are you?

- I'm Erika.
- Bethenny.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

How are you? Hi. How are you?

- Did you cut your hair?
- I did.

- Oh, it looks beautiful.
- Thank you.

How are you?

All right,
well, let's go sit outside.

- Oh, this is so pretty.

- I met Bethenny
quite a few years ago.

She came in from New York,

and we all had dinner
at Villa Blanca.

She's certainly a woman
to be reckoned with.

- I have what Kyle's having.

- What do you have around that?

- I call it a rim job.

Do you want one?
You want a rim job next time?

- What are you talking...
What, what?

- Well, I looked
at your Instagram page,

so you want a rim job?
I'll give it to you.

I did. I just looked.
I'm obsessed with you.

- She's like,
"Tell me more about Erika."

I'm like, "Well..."

- Well, here she is.
Here's all you need to know."

- First of all,
you have the most amazing skin,

like, just sexy.

- You know what?
I like to push it.

- I want to be you.
I'm obsessed.

- You should be envious

that I get to live
two different lives.

You know how much fun
I'm having?

- Wait,
I haven't showed you the bar.

It's not quite the pump,
but come here.

Come look at my bar.
- I want to come see it.

- It's always cool to express
your inner bad girl,

and I think that Erika Jayne,
or your version of Erika Jayne,

resides in all of us.

- Let me get behind here
and sort it out.

- Well, this is your own bar.

- What do you think, Ken?
You approve?

- I love it, yes. I'm going.

- Ken's leaving.
- You're going to go?

I love you.

- See you later.

- Bye-bye.
- We'll enjoy it.

We're sitting down.
- Are we gonna sit?

- We'll sit here.

- Oh, look
at these sexy sunflowers.

- Anywhere.
- I have to go to the bathroom.

- There's one right there.
- Right here.

- I like Erika.
- I like her.

- Do you? I love her.

She gives zero fááás.

- Well, at least
her alter ego does.

- Right.
- Right?

- I'm definitely a bigger fan

of Erika's way more
than Bethenny 'cause

Bethenny's being kind
of judgmental.

I am just a lover of Erika

and what she does
without any kind of judgment.

- Mogul wife by day,
ho by night.

Bambi.
She's coming out in a minute.

- Who? Bambi?
- Bambi.

- Introducing...

I like it. I don't mind
being called "Bambi,"

and being called
a hooker, well, you know what,

hookers are kind
of fabulous in my opinion.

I'm into it,
so if I have to represent

for all the hookers in the
world, then I'll hit that.

- Thank you.
- I am so hungry, you guys.

- I know.
This looks really good.

- Where's your daughter?
- With Julia.

- How old is she?
- She's five.

- I can't believe she's five.

- I remember
when we went to Disneyland,

and your daughters were still,
like, Disneyland daughters.

- Yes. I remember when you
were at the Beverly Wilshire,

and you just told me
you were pregnant.

- Oh, my God, that day.

- You were like, "Okay,
I have something to tell you,

but you can't tell anybody,"
right then.

- I remember that.
- That was six years ago.

Time flies.

- It's crazy.
- Oh, my God.

- We were going through stories
today, Kyle and I.

I met her,
I was the hostess at La Scala.

- Tell her your story.

- I was a cocktail waitress
in Beverly Hills,

and that's how I met my husband.

- Cocktail waitress can make
a lot of money.

I was a cocktail waitress
up in Boston.

- If you're good, you
can make a sháá load of money.

Was I a good cocktail waitress?

Fááá yeah,
I was a good cocktail waitress.

I'd still be
a good cocktail waitress.

Yeah, if you work late,
that's when you get the dough.

- Coming up...

- This is who I am.
- I thought of you as "Bambi."

- It's not as easy as it looks,

but anybody
can make a margarita.

♪ ♪

- Thank you so much.

♪ ♪

I love this couscous.

I'm into this.

- So you guys, are you up
for watching Erika do her thing?

- Have you seen her video?
- I already know.

She had her hand up her vagina
with two knuckle rings on.

- No, no. She did? She did?

That's your Instagram? - Yeah.

- Oh, it is?
- Well, can I say something

because I looked
at the whole page,

and I'd like to see the video.
- Right, right.

- I think you really
need to sculpt

whatever the whole message is.

It's just like, you're all...
I think you're really smart,

and I like your story about your
husband and the whole thing.

I think you should brand
the whole thing as, like,

a female empowerment thing.

- That's the whole point
of... that is what I do.

- Oh, fááá.

All of a sudden
I'm not feeling well,

and I mean,
really not feeling well.

- How long you been doing this?
That's what I want to know.

- I've been performing
since I was a kid.

- Like,
"vomit" not feeling well.

- But you've only been doing
this actually four years, right?

- No, this project I've had
for about six, seven years,

performing as Erika Jayne.

- Oh, let's watch the video.
- It's okay.

You guys, you please go ahead.

I'm gonna go back to the house.

I'm not feeling really great.

- You're not? Okay.
- Feel better.

- All right.

- I just want you
to have a great time.

- I'm sorry.
- I love you. Feel better.

- I'm sorry.

- Sometime if you like,
I would love to...

- I'm sorry. Bye, guys.

This girl is coming
from both ends

if you know what I mean.

- You ready?

- Oh, my God.
- ♪ Was so far away ♪

♪ Far away and I ♪

♪ When all I had was love ♪

♪ Like a painkillr ♪

- Beth, you're not studying
for an exam.

- I have notes.

- We're not gonna
be asking you questions.

- No, because are you gonna want
me to say what I think,

and I want
to gather my thoughts.

- There's a big chance

that Bethenny could think that
Erika is sort of ridiculous.

Bethenny can come off
very strong,

and she's very opinionated,

and sometimes she will offer
some unsolicited advice.

- Do you want to know
my honest thoughts?

- Yeah.

- I don't love
the production value of it.

Like, I think it goes too slow
in the beginning,

and it looks a little...
It looks cheap.

I think it, like, is trying
to be like sort of a little,

like, avant-garde,

but it's not quite getting it
with that kind of,

like, silver cheesy bed,

and... - Oh, my...

- I thought the production
values were terrific on that.

- I mean, everyone's entitled
to her opinion.

I just don't agree with her,
you know?

I don't think she knows what
she's talking about.

Whatever.

- It's sexy and hot.

- I thought the production value
was good.

- I love it. I think it's got
great production value.

I think it starts slow
because that's what it is.

It has a build.
It has a dance break.

It has, you know...

- I didn't like the beats
in the back

until the three girls were on.

- You were really going in hard.
- You were really... I was just...

- She really
just let me have it.

- Look, she's got her opinion,

and I think Bethenny's always
gonna voice that.

I like Bethenny, but sometimes

she needs to kind of sweeten
her delivery a little bit.

- I'm pretty... pretty good
at marketing,

and the way that
I just see things is like

I want to know
what something is the minute

that I see it no matter
what it is. So I just with you...

- What's your brand?
- My point is...

- I mean, I think it's quite
honest with the brand.

This is like an alter ego.

This is a full
sexualized expression.

- It's not obvious
that it's an alter ego though.

That's the point.
Your whole page...

That I looked at hers,
it's not obvious

it's an alter ego.
I thought of you as "Bambi."

I didn't think of you here in,
like, your elegant...

- But that's... you see,

the juxtaposition
is her as a wife

and a mother and all that
compared to the video.

- I totally get that.

- Not only do I do this,
I do this as well.

- I know the audience.

You know,
they're there to see that.

They're not there to see
a wife and mom.

- They know me this.
This is who I am.

- And that's when the other
dimensions come in.

- Exactly.
- Okay, but I have to say...

I have a question. I just
have to suggest something.

There are so many people
that do that.

There are not so many people
that do that who are this.

When I saw that, I was saying,
"I don't see any of this.

"When in the brand
and in the Instagram page

are we gonna see
the whole full circle?"

- She's not in my business.

I don't tell her
how to run her business.

I don't know anything
about margaritas,

and I don't know anything
about being skinny,

so I'm not gonna tell anybody

what to do
with their Skinnygirl sháá,

so perhaps she shouldn't
tell me what to do with mine.

Let me explain something to you.

I put myself out there.

So if I put myself out there,

I better be prepared
for what comes back.

- No, like, I swear to God,
I'm not... I-

I said to her, "She's so hot,"
and I think you're so talented.

I just wanted to understand
what it is.

- I mean,
it doesn't really matter.

It's something that I do.

It's the way I express myself.

I'm this, and I'm also that.

But I would never treat anyone
like that at my home.

I don't understand
why you would have someone over

and then kind of sháá
all over them,

but maybe that's just the way
she does it.

Nobody really knows that I have
this husband that's a lawyer,

that I have a son
that's a police officer.

- Right. Right.
- He's 23 years old.

I mean, that's kept very quiet

just because I've never chosen
to talk about them.

- And by the way,
how lucky are you that you

get to have both those lives?

You know how many people
are sitting home,

like, as moms and housewives

that are like, "Oh, I wish
I could do something interesting

and be sexy." - Right. Right.

- Right? It's a rich life.
- Oh, for God sake.

- Just want to dance
on stage, God damn it.

- You completely...

- So do something
so we could see what...

- Let's stand up.

- Oh, I'm doing it?
- Oh, hold on a second, honey.

I did not want to be
in the cheap seats.

I want to make sure I get...

- Okay, so you can walk out,

right, hips, hips, hips, hips.

Hit, like, the front.

Give 'em a smack.

Right, boom, all the way up.
- All right.

- My ass is out.

Drop down low.

- She's, like, squatting now.

- And now, like, you know,
on the dááá.

[ripping] - Oh, fááá!

- Did you ruin your pants?
[laughter]

- Did you hear it?
- I did, babe, I did.

I'm sorry.

It's not as easy as it looks.

I mean, but anybody
can make a margarita.

[laughter] - Wait, let me see.

- That's what you get for saying
I have no production value.

[laughter]

- Coming up...

- So you felt grilled?
- I did.

- Do you think she picked up

on the fact that you
were clearly uncomfortable?

- I hope.
She's not a stupid woman.

That's what I don't understand.

♪ ♪

- Namaste.

You know, I had a bad night
the night before,

and I love yoga,

and I've done yoga
all over the world anywhere.

You know, that's my life.

That is where I feel
I'm at my most centered.

Hi. - Hey, how was yoga?

- Well, it was a little grassy.
- Yeah?

- I don't really do yoga
on the grass.

I get my life force from yoga,

otherwise I'd be popping pills
and Xanax and drinking.

Who knows what I'd be
doing to try to stay calm?

- I have to ask you something

now that I've got you here.
- What?

- You know, it dawned on me
at Lisa's "Bella" party.

Out of nowhere she brought up
how Vinny and I met.

She brought it up at the table
in front of a lot of people,

and I think
I clearly looked uncomfortable.

- Okay, so when you made out
with him the first time,

did you feel like, "Oh, my God"?

- I mean...

- So how did
the affair start then?

- I could feel your anxiety.

- And I was
clearly uncomfortable

because I'm in public,
and we're talking about this,

and she's not letting it go.

You know, Lisa and Erika
are on their way here now,

and before she gets here, I just

got to ask you
what you think of this.

- So what are we doing today?

- We're going
to Bethenny's book signing,

and I'm sure you want to buy a
copy of her book now, don't you?

- Why wouldn't I?

"Please sign this to me."

- I know you want
it personally endorsed.

- Yeah.
- So with your husband, I mean,

he's got, like,
a pretty serious job.

- Right.
- So...

Or is he playful, or is he...?

- He's very playful.

Tom is a very
exciting person, and he's fun.

He likes to do things.

He's full of life,
and he's sweet.

He's super engaging.

- You just love him so much.
I can tell.

- I do.

- So you felt grilled?
- I did.

- Completely?
- I did.

- Do you think she picked up

on the fact that you
were clearly uncomfortable?

- I hope.
She's not a stupid woman.

That's what I don't understand.

Maybe she'd had a couple drinks?

I don't know. What do you think?

Am I imagining something?

- Well, I...
No, I think if it bothers you,

I think you should
say something to her.

I can see it affects you.
- Well, she's my friend.

- And you care.
- And that's... it felt like that

it was a non-friendy
kind of thing.

Lisa Vanderpump keeps digging
into a topic

that was very hurtful for me.

It makes me feel
that Lisa doesn't

respect my marriage at all.

She was just kind of... "So
when you were first together,

and you... did you have to kiss
him?" I said, "Actually we did."

"How many times?"
I said, "Like, once."

She goes,
"Well, was that the moment?

Is that when the affair
started?" I said, "No."

- Do you notice the age
difference?

Yours is what, 30...

- 32 or 33.
- Right.

- I don't see a huge age
difference in philosophy.

Like, we both view life
the same way.

- Right. So do you
go to dinners with him,

like, with clients and things?
- Yes.

- I bet people are surprised
when you show up, right?

- Not any more.
- Yeah.

Erika has certainly painted

a very interesting picture
of herself.

The much older husband,
the videos,

she's put a lot out there.

She's happy to kind of tell it
how it is, and I like that.

- I don't feel like,
you know, "Ugh.

You know, you're boring,
or I'm bored, or let's leave."

He's the one that's like,
"Hey, come on. Let's go."

- Oh, really?
- Yeah.

- And is that why
you love him so much?

- I think so.

I sense that Lisa Vanderpump

really enjoys making
you feel uncomfortable

and digs around,

and I'm guessing that's because
she wants to be in control.

- That's good.
- Yeah.

- You can ask me
anything you want.

- She's kind
of the self-appointed leader

of the group,

and it's in her best interest

to keep all of her
little ducks in a row.

- I have nothing to hide.

- If you don't get
this off your chest

to the person that did it...

You just got it off your chest
to me,

but why not say it to her
because guess what,

that will take your relationship
with Lisa to a different level.

You should say... - Dr. Rinna.

I'm gonna lay on the sofa.
- Well... shut up.

It's not that at all,

and everyone appreciates
honesty no matter what.

- All right.
- And then see what happens.

- You're right.
- But you can't have

any expectations
of what's gonna happen.

- I don't. I know.

- That will be $500. [laughter]

♪ ♪

- Hi.
- What's going on, girls?

- I'm gonna cut watermelon up.

- I don't think there are
normally heels in the Hamptons.

Everyone's got gravel driveways.

Hello.
- Hello, come in the kitchen.

- Lisa's cooking.
- Hello, how are you?

- Good, how are you?

- You okay now?
- I'm better, thank you.

- Was it Bethenny's food?

- Right through me.

- Well, last night
was a little interesting,

Miss Bethenny letting
me have it last night.

- Oh, was she?

- Okay, she let me have it
about the video.

She was like, "You know, I don't
like the production quality."

And I thought, "Well,..."

- She was talking
about your brand too.

- Well,
she got into my brand too.

She got into the brand
to like, "What are you selling?

Like, what are you trying
to say?" I'm like,...

- Sex? No.
- You think?

So she said some things to me
that weren't so great,

but that doesn't mean that I'm
gonna be a total bitch back.

That's just not who I am.

Like, I'm not selling cookies.
- Right.

- No offense to anyone who is.

[laughter]

Is she being a bitch,

or is she just being...

Jealous?

- Okay, girls, I'm off to go
get ready to go to the store.

- I need to talk to you.

I just need to talk to you
for a second.

Something's been on my mind.
It's not a big deal.

I just kind of need
to talk to you about something.

- Do you not eat plants?
- No can do.

[overlapping chatter]

- Yes, well...

- Nothing, I just
want to get it off my chest,

and it's probably nothing, and I
might be just oversensitive,

but you know. - Right.

- It was the other night

where we were having dinner
at the restaurant at the Capri.

[dramatic music]

- Coming up...

- Oh, for fááá's sake.

We are very different people.
I'm very open.

Ask me anything you want.
- Uh-huh.

We were having dinner
at the restaurant at the Capri.

You were asking me
about how I met Vinny.

- Yeah.
- And you kind of kept going on,

and I was just really
uncomfortable,

and I realized after the fact...

- Oh, darling, I wouldn't want
to ask you anything

that you wouldn't want
to tell me.

- I-I don't know.

You know, after what happened
with Brandi last year,...

- He was married
when you met him, right?

- We both were.
- Oh.

- You were both married
when you met each other?

- Yeah, we were.

- Do you think you're sensitive
about it because...

- We were coming off
of what happened.

Absolutely Brandi.
- Oh, for fááá's sake.

I'm nothing like Brandi.

We are very different people.

- It just was like...
I don't know.

It just seemed
like you kept going on

and asking more
and more things about it,

and "Is that
when the affair started?

Is that what happened?"
And it just felt kind of,

ugh, restaurant.

- Well, then just say to me, "I
don't want to talk. I'm sorry."

- You're right. You're right.

That's what I should've done.

I mean, I would be happy
to talk to you in private

about stuff, but I...

- Okay, it was... I mean, it
was just the two of us, right?

- Yeah, kind
of just... I don't know.

- I apologize if I asked you
too many questions.

But no, I feel like I
know you better because of that.

If you ever don't want
to discuss something,

surely you just say, "I don't
want to talk about that."

This doesn't
make any sense to me.

Really, never answer
anything you don't want to.

Like, I just had an interesting
conversation, you know,

with Erika about her life,

and I kind of feel
that's, you know,

how you get to know people.

And if I ever ask you anything,

just say "I don't want
to answer it."

- I will next time.

- I'm very open.
Ask me anything you want.

- Uh-huh.

She always says she's very open,

but I feel like really she's
way more comfortable just kind

of getting into your stuff
and not really any of hers.

I-I just
wanted to clear the air.

I just...

- I didn't think there was
any air to clear, Eileen.

- From my perspective.
- Yeah.

- Nothing was resolved by me
expressing myself to Lisa

because I told her
she hurt my feelings,

and she totally
turned it around on me.

I just really wanted to tell you

what I was feeling
at that moment

and that I should have
said something then.

That's all. - Yeah. Okay.

- Okay.

- No problem.

- Next time on

"The Real Housewives
of Beverly Hills"...

- I feel so bad. Kyle told me
I insulted you last night.

- Is this awkward right now?

- Yeah.

- Nobody would think
somebody like me

would be in
a situation like that.

The police were called
a couple times.

- Oh, wow.
- Sorry.

I don't want
to do this right now.

- I love you and adore you.
- Sweetie...

- Doctor said she'd never seen
anybody with leakage like mine.

It's almost like a vindication.

Time to get my ass back
on the road.

Both: Hi. - How are you?

- I am great.
- Oh, my God.

- Katherine sold her soul
to the devil

'cause she looks
exactly the same.

Fááá you.

You know what's flashing on me
more than anything right now?

- What?

- O.J.

- That was a long time ago.