The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2010–…): Season 4, Episode 11 - Luaus & Lies - full transcript
Kim throws a luau for her daughter Kimberly who will be leaving for college at the end of the summer. Carlton, who was "over-served" before attending a pole dancing class with Brandi, arrives tipsy, while Brandi shows up nauseous. Later, Joyce and Brandi attempt to discuss their problems in a civil manner.
Female announcer: PREVIOUSLY,
ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES
OF BEVERLY HILLS...
- I WANT A ROOM IN THE HOUSE
WHERE I CAN LOCK THE DOOR
AND COMPLETELY HAVE
NO INHIBITIONS WHATSOEVER.
- YOU CAN TELL ME
EXACTLY WHERE YOU WANT THE POLE.
- YAY!
- OH, I'LL TELL YOU
WHERE I WANT IT. [laughter]
- KIMBERLY'S GRADUATING.
THIS IS BY FAR ONE
OF THE PROUDEST DAYS OF MY LIFE.
MM, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
SORRY.
- JOYCE IS COMING TONIGHT.
- I DIDN'T ACTUALLY REALIZE
SHE WAS COMING.
- [laughs]
- [sighs]
- I'M HOPING JOYCE AND BRANDI
COULD SORT OUT
THEIR DIFFERENCES.
- FOR NO REASON,
YOU WERE BEING A BULLY.
- I WAS NOT BULLYING YOU.
- YES, YOU WERE.
YOU'RE A SMART GIRL.
DON'T ACT LIKE A BIMBO.
YOU'RE JUST BLONDE,
BUT YOU'RE NOT A BIMBO.
- SHUT THE [bleep] UP!
- [bleep].
- YOU GO [bleep] YOURSELF.
[bleep] OFF, BECAUSE I JUST...
- I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW,
BUT IT'S JUST...
IT'S NOT ACCEPTABLE.
YOU CAN'T KEEP DOING THAT.
- [sighs]
- LOOK, I'M NOT
MAKING EXCUSES FOR HER,
BUT SHE HAS BEEN GOING THROUGH
A REALLY TOUGH TIME LATELY.
- THAT'S AN EXCUSE.
[upbeat music]
- I'M FROM THIS TOWN.
I KNOW WHAT'S REAL
AND WHAT'S FAKE.
- DON'T TELL ME
YOU'RE MY FRIEND, ACT LIKE ONE.
- IN BEVERLY HILLS, THE HIGHER
YOU CLIMB, THE FARTHER YOU FALL.
- EVERYBODY LOVES
A COMEBACK STORY,
ESPECIALLY STARRING ME.
- IN MY WORLD,
MONEY DOESN'T TALK, IT SWEARS.
- YOU COULD NEVER BE TOO YOUNG,
TOO THIN, OR TOO HONEST.
- LIFE IS A SEXY, LITTLE DANCE,
AND I LIKE TO TAKE LEAD.
- KYLE PICKED THIS PLACE.
- WELL, LET'S SEE.
- OH, HERE WE GO.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- KIM, I THINK YOU SIT HERE,
AND I'LL GO OVER HERE, 'CAUSE...
- WAIT, KIMBERLY NEEDS...
- YOU GO.
- NO, YOUR DAY. YOU SIT.
ALTHOUGH KIMBERLY GRADUATED
AWHILE AGO,
HER GRADUATION PARTY'S TONIGHT.
I WANTED TO PICK
JUST THE RIGHT TIME
TO HONOR ALL HER HARD WORK.
- I NEED TO GET A BIKINI WAX.
- MM.
OH, I JUST HAD ONE.
- YOU DID?
- YEP.
- GOOD.
- SO CUTE.
- CUTE?
- MINE'S SO CUTE.
[laughs] - WHAT'D YOU DO TO IT?
- I JUST... YOU KNOW,
I JUST HAD MY WIENER WAXED.
- SHUT UP!
YOU CANNOT CALL IT A "WIENER."
- WELL, I DID, WHATEVER.
MY WIENER IS WAXED.
- WOULD YOU TELL YOUR MOM
TO STOP CALLING IT A "WIENER"?
- IT'S EMBARRASSING.
WE'RE IN FRONT OF PEOPLE, MOM.
- YOU DON'T HAVE A WIENER,
SO YOU CAN'T SAY "A WIENER."
- WOULD YOU LIKE THE OTHER WORD?
"VAGINA."
[both laughing]
- WELL, I CALL IT A "TWEETER."
- YOU CAN'T CALL IT A "TWEETER"
'CAUSE NOW THERE'S TWITTER.
- WELL, NOW THERE'S TWITTER,
AND IT RUINED EVERYTHING,
BUT STILL CALL IT MY TWEETER.
- YOU CAN'T CALL... WHATEVER.
[both laughing]
- KIM'S CALLING IT A "WEINER."
I CALL IT A "TWEETER."
I MEAN, GOD FORBID,
WE WOULD ACTUALLY CALL IT A...
[mouthing word]
'CAUSE I HATE THAT WORD.
IT'S SO GROSS. [laughs]
- DO YOU DO BIKINI EXTENSIONS?
- OH, MY GOD. [laughter]
- YOU PUT... YOU, LIKE,
BEDAZZLE YOUR TWEETER?
- YEAH.
- BASICALLY.
- HOW DO YOU BEDAZZLE...
- I TOLD YOU.
I JUST HAD MINE FRENCH BRAIDED.
- DYE IT.
- DIET? OH, I WAS THINKING
D-I-E-T, "DIET."
[laughter]
- MINE'S BEEN ON A DIET
FOR A LONG TIME.
[laughter]
IT'S NOT LIKE MINE'S BEEN
EATING A WHOLE LOT ANYWAY,
SO... THERE. OKAY, WHATEVER.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW.
[knocking] WHATEVER.
- SO HOW NERVOUS ARE YOU
ABOUT GETTING A BIKINI WAX?
- WELL, I'M...
I HAVE TO TELL YOU, I'M NOT...
I-I-I... OBVIOUSLY,
I DO THEM REGULARLY,
BUT I... TO ME, IT'S VERY PAINFUL.
I HATE IT.
- IT IS? OKAY.
- IT'S VERY...
I'M VERY SENSITIVE DOWN THERE.
- SO I'M GONNA GIVE YOU
A COMPANION,
AND YOU CAN SQUEEZE HIM.
- HIM?
- PINK OR BROWN?
[both starting and laughing]
- MY GOD!
- I HAVE NEVER SEEN A WAXER
PULL OUT ONE OF THESE BEFORE.
AND I ONLY HAD
THE LITTLE PINK ONE.
[laughs]
MINE LOOKED LIKE LIPSTICK.
THERE'S SOMETHING I FOUND
IN MY DRAWER.
- YEAH, WHAT IS IT?
[vibrator buzzing]
- [laughs]
I DON'T... I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW
IF IT'S FOR YOUR NECK...
- OH, I THINK
IT'S FOR SOMETHING ELSE.
[imitating vibrator] [laughs]
- HOW 'BOUT PLIE FOR ME.
- WHAT'S A PLIE?
- UH, FROGGY LEGS. HOLD ON.
- [laughs]
- FROGGY LEGS, HOLD ON.
- OTHER LEG UP.
- OTHER ANGLE... WAIT,
LET ME START WITH THE TOP.
- OOH, GOD! I REALLY DON'T LIKE
THAT SPOT YOU JUST WENT ON.
WHAT IS THAT? OW!
- LET ME SEE.
- SHUT UP.
KIM, SIT DOWN.
I'M GONNA KILL YOU.
- OH, YEAH. YOU DON'T...
- KIM, YOU'RE SO DIS...
[both laughing]
OW! STOP.
- YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.
- "DON'T LOOK."
[imitating Kyle's laugh]
- ONE DAY YOU SHOULD TRY
TO GET YOUR NOSE DONE.
YOU'LL LOVE IT.
- I'VE HAD MY NOSE DONE.
OH, YOU MEAN MY NOSE "DONE"?
OH, NO, I DON'T WANT THAT.
KIM NEEDS THAT.
I DON'T NEED THAT.
[laughs]
- I'M TRYING TO HELP HER OUT.
SHE'S LAYING DOWN THERE.
DO YOU THINK THE LADY
WOULD'VE SUGGESTED IT
IF IT LOOKED IN THERE AND
LOOKED, LIKE, CLEAR AS A BELL?
NO, SHE LOOKED IN THERE
AND SAW OAK TREES.
- YOU'LL LOVE IT.
- OKAY.
I'LL DO IT.
OW! NO... [both laughing]
- YOU JUST CAN'T LAUGH LIKE THAT
WITH ANYBODY THAN YOUR SISTER.
I MEAN, IT FEELS REALLY GOOD.
I FEEL WE'VE FINALLY
GOTTEN TO A BETTER PLACE,
AND IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.
CASE YOU GET NERVOUS, HOLD THIS.
[both laughing]
- HELLO.
- WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL.
- [laughs] HELLO.
- THERE SHE IS.
- OH, MY [bleep] GOD.
[laughter]
I DRANK TOO MUCH TEQUILA.
I BELIEVE THAT EVERY MAN WOULD
LOVE TO SEE HIS WOMAN ON A POLE.
SO BEFORE THE POLE DANCING CLASS
I HAD A DRINK,
AND IT CERTAINLY WASN'T BECAUSE
I WAS NERVOUS OF THE POLE,
ALTHOUGH THAT CAN BE
THREATENING.
YAY! - OH, LOOK AT YOU.
DRINKING AND POLE DANCING,
THEY DON'T MIX FOR ME...
- OH, LOOK AT THOSE SHOES.
- BUT CARLTON MIGHT HAVE BEEN
OVER-SERVED.
Both: HI.
- LITTLE JEALOUS.
- HI, LADIES.
- HELLO.
- WELCOME.
HOW MANY POLE VIRGINS?
YES? - [laughs]
- OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
- YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE.
- [laughs]
- CAN YOU GO UPSIDE DOWN?
- WHOO!
- [gasps]
THAT'S REALLY HOT.
- SO... LET'S GET YOU DRESSED.
YOU CAN WEAR ANYTHING THAT
MAKES YOU FEEL CUTE, SEXY, HOT.
- THIS [bleep] HOTTIE.
LOOK AT YOUR [bleep] BODY.
WHIP IT OFF. - NO!
[laughter]
- I LOVE YOU.
- YAY.
- ALL RIGHT.
- HI! [laughs]
- HI. LET'S GO.
- OH, TARA'S, LIKE...
YOU JUST... WAIT. - I'M READY.
[British accent] I'M READY.
DON'T BREAK
YOUR PERFECT LITTLE NOSEY.
DON'T BREAK IT ON THE POLE.
PBBT.
[laughs]
GO TO YOUR POLE.
- NO, I'VE GOT MY POLE.
- OH, MY. [laughs]
- THEY ALL... YOU CAN FEEL
THE LITTLE SHIFT.
THAT'S BECAUSE THEY ALL HAVE
THE OPTION OF THESE...
- ARE WE SHIFTING?
- YES, DARLING.
- I'M A SHAPESHIFTER.
- YOU'RE A SHAPESHIFTER?
- RIGHT YOU ARE.
I AM NOT A PRUDE, AT ALL.
YAY. - LOOK AT HER.
- I LOVE THE BOD...
ESPECIALLY THE FEMALE BODY.
I LOVE THE FEMALE BODY.
HONESTLY, IT'S A WORK OF ART.
- [laughs]
- OH, I HAVE SOMETHING
REALLY APPROPRIATE.
- WHOO!
- YES, EXCUSE ME.
I FORGOT I WAS WEARING THESE.
- WHOO!
- I'M SEEING LACE,
SO IT'S ALREADY GOOD.
- YES.
- [gasps]
- OH, I LOVE IT! [clapping]
- I FORGOT.
- I ENJOYED
THE "[bleep] OFF" BOOTY SHORTS.
LIKE, "[bleep] OFF" IS GREAT.
I THINK IT SHOULD BE
ON ALL CLOTHES ALL THE TIME.
[laughter]
- WANT TO MOUNT
THAT [bleep] THING.
YEAH.
YAY!
- CARLTON AND I, WE'RE BOTH
REALLY NONJUDGMENTAL PEOPLE.
WE'RE NOT JUST GONNA CAUSE DRAMA
TO FLIP OUT HAIR AROUND
AND BE IN THE MIDDLE
OF SOMETHING.
[laughs]
- OOH! OH, WOW.
- NICE. YEAH.
TRY IT WITH A LITTLE BIT
OF A WALK.
- OH, MY... OH, MY GOD, REALLY?
[gasps] [women cheering]
- I'VE TAKEN POLE DANCING
CLASSES IN THE PAST...
- OH, MY GOD.
- OH.
OH, SHE'S BEEN PRACTICING,
YOU BIG LIAR.
- BUT I GET VERY, LIKE,
SEASICK AND MOTION SICK.
- [laughs]
- I'M GETTING DIZZY
WATCHING EVERYONE.
I CAN'T SIT IN THE BACK OF CARS.
I HAVE SERIOUS PROBLEMS.
SERIOUS "POBLEMS." I CAN'T TALK.
[both laughing]
SO WE HAVE TO GO TO KIM'S?
[laughs]
- YEAH.
- [laughs]
- I DON'T KNOW. I MEAN,
WHAT DO WE BRING OVER THERE?
- NO ALCOHOL?
- I DON'T THINK
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
CARLTON'S VERY CUTE.
SHE WANTED TO BRING ALCOHOL
TO A GRADUATION PARTY
WHERE KIM'S SOBER
AND THE GRADUATOR'S NOT 21 YET.
[laughs] WE'LL GET FLOWERS.
- YAY. [both laughing]
- I THOUGHT WE WERE PUTTING
CUSHIONS ALONG THE BACK.
AND THEN THESE LITTLE OTTOMANS...
HERE'S ANOTHER LITTLE TABLE.
HELLO?
YEAH, JUST CALL AND GIVE THEM
THE CARD NUMBER.
THIS CAN'T JUST SIT THERE.
IT LOOKS REALLY UGLY.
- IT'S GONNA BE OKAY.
- I'M...
- I PROMISE YOU.
- WELL, SO FAR, HONESTLY...
- IT'S GONNA BE OKAY.
- YOU... NO, LIKE,
I DON'T HAVE MY FOUNTAINS.
- WE'RE GONNA...
WE GOT MORE FOUNTAINS COMING.
I THINK IT'LL BE PERFECT.
- AND MY FIRE... MY...
- GONNA BE PERFECT.
- MY PHOTO BOOTH.
AAH!
I'M PANICKING.
WE'RE NOT READY. I'M NOT READY.
I CAME UP WITH THIS AMAZING
THEME IDEA.
MAYBE WE DO COACHELLA STYLE
ON MY SISTER KATHY'S BIG FIELD,
AND HAVE ALL THE KIDS COME...
OH, MY GOSH.
AND THEN KATHY SAID YES,
AND THEN, OOP,
KATHY'S GOING
TO BUCKINGHAM PALACE.
THIS IS NOT FUN RIGHT NOW.
WILL YOU PUT THIS OUTSIDE?
AND KIMBERLY'S LIKE,
"I JUST WANT TO BE HOME,
AND I WAS LIKE, "YEAH."
OKAY, IF NOT, I'LL KEEP THESE.
- OKAY.
- IN CASE.
- ALL RIGHT.
- LEAVE THESE IN CASE.
- OKAY.
- I'LL TAKE THESE IN CASE.
[laughter]
OH, MY GOSH!
Announcer: COMING UP...
- SOME GROSS GUY JUST SENT ME
A PICTURE OF HIS PENIS.
THAT IS DISGUSTING.
- DON'T SEND ME ANY DICK PICS,
ANYBODY.
- [coughing] OH, MY GOD.
[indistinct chatter]
- HI.
- WE NEED SOME DECORATIONS
ON THIS SIDE OF THAT.
IF I WASN'T SOBER TODAY,
I HONESTLY THINK IT COULD'VE
JUST DESTROYED EVERYTHING.
LOOK WHAT I HAVE.
- HI, LOOK AT YOU.
- MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER,
HER GRADUATION.
- WHERE'S WHITNEY?
- WHITNEY IS ON HER WAY,
I THINK.
- THESE ARE THE GOOD THINGS
I HAVE.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH.
HI. - HI, LOOK AT YOU!
- HI, BEAUTIFUL. HOW ARE YOU?
- OH, MY GOODNESS, I LOVE THIS.
- THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
HEY.
- COME HERE. I LOVE YOU.
GOD, I MISSED YOU.
- [laughs]
- CAN YOU TELL WE MISS YOU?
- I KNOW,
YOU MISS ME OR SOMETHING?
- YOU'RE SO PRETTY.
- WELL, YOU HAVEN'T BEEN HOME
HARDLY AT ALL THIS LAST WEEK.
Both: MWAH.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- UGH, OH, MY GOD.
- OKAY. I'M GOOD.
IT'S FUN TO GET
OUT OF A SPORTS CAR.
- [laughs]
- SHOULD WE GET A HAMBURGER?
- [gasps] YES.
- BEEF BURGERS
AND TURKEY BURGERS.
- I WILL HAVE A BEEF BURGER,
BUT WITH NO CHEESE, PLEASE.
- I WANT A BEEF BURGER
WITH EVERYTHING ON IT.
[gasps] YUMMY.
- WITH EVERYTHING?
[text alert]
- WHAT?
- SOME GROSS GUY
JUST SENT ME A PICTURE
OF HIS PENIS,
AND I'M SORRY,
BUT I DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM.
- [laughs]
- THAT IS DISGUSTING!
I LIKE... I HAVE A THING
AGAINST DICK PICS.
I DO NOT LIKE THEM. - [laughs]
- ARE YOU JOKING?
- IS IT GROSS?
- IT'S DISGUSTING.
- DON'T SEND ME ANY DICK PICS,
ANYBODY, PLEASE.
DON'T WANT THEM.
I WANT TO LOOK AT ONE.
BIG DICK, THAT'S IT.
- I'VE NEVER EVEN KISSED
THIS GUY.
- I WAS MORTIFIED.
- WHY DOES HE THINK I WANT
TO SEE A PICTURE OF HIS PENIS?
- ONE WITH CHEESE.
- I'M... OH... WITH... THANK YOU.
- YEAH, WE'RE JUST TALKING.
- SEE OUR PIÑA COLADAS?
THEY'RE VIRGINS.
Both: HI, BABY.
- WHERE'S YOUR MOM?
- I DON'T KNOW... I DON'T KNOW.
- OH!
- OH, MY GOSH.
I FELL OFF... I SWEAR TO GOD,
I FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN DRINKING.
- IT'S THE SPINNING, I SWEAR.
- OH.
- I USED TO GET LIKE THIS
AFTER MY CLASSES.
I WOULD BE, LIKE,
HAVE A, LIKE, NAUSEA ALL DAY.
- YEAH, NO, I ACTUALLY FEEL
LIKE I'M GETTING DIZZY.
- YEAH.
WE'RE THE GREETING COMMITTEE.
- IS THAT WRONG THAT WE'RE
EATING OUT ON THE STOOP?
- [laughs]
YOU DON'T NORMALLY SEE,
LIKE, TWO SKINNY CHICKS
ON THE STOOP WITH SOME BURGERS,
BUT IT HAPPENS.
- I SWEAR,
I DON'T GIVE A [bleep].
- HI!
- [laughing] HI.
- HOW ARE YOU? [laughs]
- I'M GOOD.
YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE GOING
TO A LUAU.
- WELL, I'M AT A LUAU, BABY.
KIMBERLY'S DAD AND I HAVE
REMAINED VERY GOOD FRIENDS
OVER THE YEARS.
WE'VE BEEN ABLE TO DO THAT
THROUGH COOL PARENTING.
IT'S JUST, WE'VE ALWAYS
PUT KIMBERLY FIRST.
- WHERE'S MY LEI?
- [laughs]
HERE, JOHN.
- WE DIDN'T GET LEIS?
- NO, YOU DON'T GET LEI'D
TILL YOU GET HOME,
[laughs]
- THEN I MIGHT NOT EITHER.
[laughter]
- MMM, MUD PIE.
[both laughing] - HI.
- I JUST DROVE THAT CAR TOO.
IS IT THE SAME ONE?
- YEAH, WE HAVE THE SAME CAR.
- IT IS SO POWERFUL, IT'S SCARY.
- I KNOW, AND IT'S SO LOUD.
- HI, PORTIA!
- COME ON.
- WE JUST WORKED OUT,
AND WE'RE FEELING
REALLY NAUSEOUS,
SO WE'RE CHOWING DOWN
BEFORE WE GO IN.
- OH, MY GOD.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?
- NICE TO SEE YOU.
- WE'RE ALL SPINNING. HI.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- DO I HAVE, LIKE,
HAMBURGER ON MY FACE?
Both: MWAH. - DON'T TELL THEM
WE'RE EATING OUTSIDE. [laughs]
- I WON'T.
- WE'RE... I'M LIKE,
"WE'RE GONNA THROW UP."
- IT SEEMS KIND OF ODD TO ME
THAT THEY'RE SITTING ON THE CURB
EATING A FATBURGER BEFORE THEY
GO IN AND SAY HI TO MY SISTER.
ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU INSIDE.
- OH, MY GOD.
- I WASN'T REALLY SURE
WHAT WAS HAPPENING.
- [laughs]
- HI.
- HI.
- THE HOUSE LOOKS SO PRETTY.
- YOU LOVE IT?
- YES, I LOVE
THE HARDWOOD FLOORS.
- SO EXCITED.
- I KNOW.
- I DID IT FOR KIMBERLY'S THING,
AND IT ACTUALLY ENDED UP
BEING SOMETHING
I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT.
I CAN'T BELIEVE, LIKE...
- IT LOOKS SO GOOD.
- WHEN SHE COMES OUT,
I'M LIKE, I WANT IT...
WHEN SHE LEAVES HERE,
SHE'S GONNA LOOK BACK
AND GO, LIKE, "THIS WAS
THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE,
"AND WHEN I COME HOME,
I'M GONNA LOVE MY HOUSE SO MUCH
ON THE WEEKENDS." - AW!
SEE, YOU'RE LIKE,
ANYTHING TO ENTICE THEM.
I KNOW THAT FOR MY SISTER,
THIS IS ONE OF HER
MOST PROUD MOMENTS.
HER BABY GIRL
IS GOING OFF TO COLLEGE,
AND SHE'S GRADUATED
HIGH SCHOOL WITH HONORS.
SHE'S AN INCREDIBLE GIRL.
SHE'S SO BEAUTIFUL,
SO SMART, SO TOGETHER,
AND THAT REALLY IS A REFLECTION
ON WHAT KIND OF MOM
MY SISTER IS.
- THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
- YOU'RE VERY WELCOME.
- THANK YOU, IT WAS DELICIOUS.
- OH, MY GOD.
- YOU HAVE, LIKE, 0% BODY FAT,
BY THE WAY.
- NO, I HAVE [bleep] FAT.
- NO, YOU DON'T.
- IT'S, LIKE, ALL ON MY ASS
AND THIGHS. - OH, MY GOD.
- I'M SORRY. OKAY.
- OH, BOY.
- SHE'S GOT MY BUILD, THOUGH.
[overlapping chatter]
- WHERE IS EVERYONE?
WANT TO JUST GO SAY HI
TO KIMBERLY? - I THINK BAR.
- FOR SURE.
- OH, I WON'T WEASEL IN.
THERE IS RICHER BLOOD IN THERE.
- MY BILL.
- NOTHING.
- I AM NOT FEELING WELL,
AND I'M DEFINITELY NOT UP
FOR ANY KIND OF CONFRONTATION
WITH MISS HAWAII...
I MEAN, JOYCE.
[laughter]
GET BACK.
- REALLY GOOD KIDS TOO.
- HI. [laughs]
- KIDS ARE REALLY GOOD KIDS.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- HOW ARE YOU. LOOK AT YOU.
- I'M PLAYING DRESSED UP.
- WOW. [both laughing]
ARE YOU PERFORMING THIS EVENING?
- I AM,
I'M THE HULA DANCER.
- ARE YOU? [laughs]
I'M LIKE, "WAIT, WHAT?"
JOYCE LOOKS RIDICULOUS.
IT'S BECAUSE SHE WANTS
THE [bleep] ATTENTION.
- I'M SO GLAD YOU GUYS ARE HERE.
- THANK YOU.
THANKS FOR THE INVITE, BABE.
HI. I WANT SOMETHING FRUITY
AND SOMETHING WITH ALCOHOL.
- HMM, UM...
- [laughs]
- I HAVE, LIKE, A FEW BEERS
IN THIS COOLER.
- OH, IT JUST WON'T DO.
I WAS A LITTLE PERPLEXED,
BECAUSE ME LIKE TO DRINK.
THIS JUST WON'T DO.
WE'RE ALCOHOLICS HERE.
- YEAH, I KNOW, RIGHT?
[laughter]
- WE'RE AT THIS BEAUTIFUL PARTY
FOR AN UNDER-AGED GIRL
AND KIM IS
A RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC,
SO, CARLTON, RIGHT NOW
IS NOT THE PLACE
TO GO FISHING FOR BOOZE.
- LET'S GO GET SOME ALCOHOL.
- HI.
- HELLO.
I'M LOOKING FOR ALCOHOL. - OH.
- SO FAR I'M HAVING FRUIT.
- IS THAT IT?
- YEAH, YEAH.
- I'M MORE NAUSEOUS NOW
THAT I ATE THE HAMBURGER.
- DO YOU WANT SOMETHING
TO DRINK?
- I DON'T KNOW.
I WAS JUST IN THE BATHROOM
THINKING I MIGHT THROW UP.
- NO WAY.
- MAYBE YOU'RE PREGNANT.
- I'M DEFINITELY NOT.
[laughter]
- RIGHT, I'M GONNA GET
A HAMBURGER ANYWAY. - OKAY.
- MWAH.
- CAN I GET YOU A SODA?
- NO, I REALLY... I REALLY JUST...
I THINK THE HAMBURGER
MADE IT WORSE.
AY-YI-YI.
- IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO EAT THIS.
LIKE, HELLO.
- YOU CAN, YOU JUST
WRAP YOUR LIPS AROUND IT.
- JUST LIKE...
- YEAH, AH.
- IT'S HOW I EAT. [laughs]
- KIM IS AROUND ALCOHOL
AT OTHER PEOPLE'S PARTIES
ALL THE TIME, BUT I DO THINK
THAT WHEN YOU'RE IN HER HOME,
WHY WOULD YOU BE LOOKING FOR IT?
I DID NOT APPRECIATE
OR THINK IT WAS APPROPRIATE.
- OH, MY GOD.
- OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD.
SHE NEEDS SOME SODA.
- I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA
THROW UP, SORRY.
NO, I'M NOT... I'M LIKE,
I ATE THAT HAMBURGER,
TRYING TO FEEL BETTER, AND IT...
I THINK IT MADE ME WORSE.
I THINK I HAVE TO THROW UP.
- BRANDI. OH, MY GOD.
- SHE'S IN THERE.
I'M LOOKING FOR SOMETHING...
- IS SHE ALL RIGHT?
- OR, LIKE, A SPRITE?
- [coughing]
- OH, MY GOSH.
- [whimpers] OH, MY GOD.
- BRANDI.
- [retching]
- ARE YOU OKAY, BABE?
- NO. I NEED A MINUTE.
[retching]
[whimpers]
[coughing]
OH, MY GOD.
- YEAH, ARE YOU OKAY?
- CAN WE GO?
- WHAT?
- CAN WE GO? [retching]
- I'M GONNA GET SOME...
- [coughs]
- WHY AM I COUGHING?
I'M GONNA GET YOU
GINGER ALE, BABE.
- NO, NO, NO. [coughs]
- [clears throat]
- IS SHE IN THERE?
- YEAH. [toilet flushing]
LIKE... - HERE.
- WILL YOU...
- OH, MY GOD.
- YEAH.
- BEAUTIFUL.
ONE SEEMS TO BE
APPARENTLY DRUNK,
AND THE OTHER ONE
IS THROWING UP.
IT'S PROBABLY TIME TO GO HOME.
- TRY THAT.
- I D...
- NO?
- I CAN'T.
CAN WE GO? - YEAH.
- DO YOU MIND?
- NO, OF COURSE NOT.
- I-I MEAN, LIKE,
THAT HAMBURGER MADE IT WORSE.
I'M JUST SPINNING.
I DON'T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT IT.
IT REALLY... IT REALLY MAKES ME
WANT TO GAG.
[laughing]
I... LIKE, YOU GET THE VISUALS.
DISGUSTING. [laughs]
- BRANDI.
- THANK YOU FOR HAVING...
I DON'T... LIKE,
I'M SO GROSS RIGHT NOW.
I'M SO SORRY.
- OKAY, BYE.
- BYE... YOU DON'T...
- NO, OKAY.
- YOU DON'T WANT
ANY PART OF THIS. - [laughs]
- THE TWO OF US TOGETHER,
NIGHTMARE.
SHE HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK,
I WAS SICK TO MY STOMACH,
AND SO WE CALLED A CAB
AND GOT OUT.
- EVERYBODY, HELLO. HELLO.
SO AS YOU KNOW, TONIGHT IS
A SPECIAL NIGHT FOR KIMBERLY.
IT IS A NIGHT THAT WE'RE HERE
TO HONOR HER, HER SCHOOLING.
UM, I JUST WANT TO
TELL YOU, KIMBERLY,
HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU.
FROM THE MOMENT YOU WERE BORN,
YOU... WERE MAGIC.
YOU WERE SUPER SPECIAL.
I'M SO GRATEFUL
THAT YOU CHOSE ME
TO BE YOUR MOM.
UM, AND... I JUST WISH YOU
A SUPER HAPPY LIFE
IN YOUR NEW JOURNEY
AT YOUR SCHOOL,
AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY
THE SLIDESHOW
THAT YOUR SISTER
HAS PUT TOGETHER,
AND WE ALL LOVE YOU SO MUCH,
AND I'M SUPER PROUD.
- [laughs]
- YAY, HAPPY...
[all cheering] CONGRATULATIONS.
- KIMBERLY GOING
OFF TO COLLEGE NOW.
THAT'S SO WEIRD TO SAY.
[sobbing] IT'S SO GREAT,
BUT IT'S SO WEIRD.
SHE'S SO PRETTY AND SMART,
AND SHE'S JUST EVERYTHING.
NEVER BEEN MORE GRATEFUL
AND PROUD.
AND A LITTLE SCARED.
I'M GONNA LEARN HOW TO FOCUS
ON JUST KIM FOR A BIT.
[all cheering]
I'M REALLY PROUD OF YOU.
[cheers and applause]
announcer: COMING UP...
- I'M SURE THERE'S A LOT OF
THINGS KIM HASN'T TURNED UP FOR.
- THAT'S KIND OF
UNCALLED FOR, KEN,
DON'T YOU THINK? - NO.
- WELL, THIS TOP LOOKS LIKE
A BIT OF A MISMATCH, ISN'T IT?
SO LET'S GO THROUGH STUFF.
- THAT'S CUTE.
- IT'S QUITE NICE.
- MM-HMM.
- NOT FOR YOU.
- FOR ME. [laughs]
- NO.
- FOR ME, THIS MY SIZE. HMM?
- IF YOU DON'T LIKE PINK,
WE'RE IN TROUBLE.
- NO, I LIKE PINK.
- NO, I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU.
I'M TALKING ABOUT THEM.
- [laughs]
[dog barking]
KEN? WHAT?
- NO, RUMPY, RUMPY.
- NO, RUMPY. RUM...
RUMPY. - RUMPY, NO. RUM...
- YOUR DOGGIE'S SO WELL BEHAVED.
- WELL, HE WILL BE. NO, RUMPY.
- SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING, BABY?
- THIS GIRL CONTACTED ME,
EMAILED ME,
AND SHE SAID THAT SHE WORKS
WITH THIS FOSTER HOME,
AND THESE GIRLS HAVE NOTHING
AT ALL,
AND SO SHE SAID WOULD I
GIVE SOME OF MY OLD CLOTHES?
SO I SAID ABSOLUTELY.
BASICALLY, THEY NEED
WHATEVER WE CAN SEND THEM.
CLOSE TO MY HEART.
I ADOPTED MAX FROM FOSTER CARE,
SO I THINK IT WOULD BE JUST,
KIND OF, A SWEET THING TO DO.
THIS IS A QUITE NICE LONG DRESS.
DOES THIS LOOK TOO OLD
OR DO YOU THINK IT'S NICE?
- IT'S NICE.
- YOU KNOW WHAT? THEY...
SHE SAYS REALLY THAT THEY
HAVEN'T GOT MUCH AT ALL.
- MM-HMM.
- THAT'S KIND OF A PROM DRESS,
ISN'T IT? - YEAH, I WANT ONE.
- NO, YOU DON'T.
- ROCIO, YOU ARE NOT
AN UNDERPRIVILEGED GIRL.
- EXACTLY.
- YOU'RE VERY PRIVILEGED.
[phone dialing]
- HELLO?
- HEY, CARLTON, IT'S LISA.
- HI.
- ARE YOU GONNA COME BY
TOMORROW?
- I WOULD LOVE TO, YES.
- HAVE YOU GOT ANYTHING, LIKE,
THAT WOULD BE SUITABLE
FOR GIRLS TO WEAR TO THE PROM?
- WELL, I HAVE
A COUPLE OF DRESSES.
- I KNOW LOTS OF MY FRIENDS
HAVE GOT CLOTHES
SITTING IN THEIR CLOSET
THEY'RE NEVER GOING TO WEAR,
AND IT WOULD REALLY BENEFIT
THESE KIDS IN FOSTER CARE.
- HI, LISA. HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GOOD.
I'M GOING CRAZY TODAY.
- WHY? WHAT'S HAPPENING?
- I'M NERVOUS
BECAUSE I HAVE TO DO
THE ANTI-BULLYING THING, AND...
- YES. I DID THAT, YEAH.
- YEAH, YEAH,
YOU DID THE PICTURES.
I SAW YOUR PICTURE.
IT WAS WITH GIGGY.
IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
- WITH GIGGY, YEAH.
I DON'T KNOW
IF YOU'VE GOT ANYTHING
THAT YOU COULD BRING OVER
IN THE MORNING.
- I'LL COME BY
AND BRING YOU SOME STUFF.
- OKAY, IF IT'S MY SIZE,
I MIGHT KEEP IT.
- [laughs]
- OKAY, BYE-BYE.
- BYE.
[phone ringing] - HELLO?
- HEY. HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M OKAY. I'M WITH THE BOYS.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- TOMORROW, WHEN YOU COME,
SHOULD WE TRY TO AVOID
THE TIME THAT JOYCE IS HERE,
OR DO YOU WANT TO TALK TO HER?
- I WANT TO HAVE A CONVERSATION
WITH HER, TO BE HONEST.
I WAS GOING TO TRY TO DO IT
ONE-ON-ONE AND NOT...
I DON'T NEED
ANYONE ELSE INVOLVED.
I KIND OF JUST HAD A LITTLE
"COME TO JESUS" WITH MYSELF
AND SAID, "YOU KNOW WHAT?
BREAK IT DOWN."
LIKE, JUST GO IN THERE,
BE READY,
AND SAY YOUR PIECE
AND THEN WALK AWAY.
I REALLY DON'T WANT
TO RUIN ANYONE'S...
- YEAH. WELL, THERE'S...
THERE'S NOTHING TO RUIN HERE,
BUT I DON'T WANT
TO BLINDSIDE HER.
BRANDI AND JOYCE, THEY CAN
RESOLVE THEIR DIFFERENCES,
BUT BRING YOUR BLOODY PAGEANT
DRESSES, AND MINI DRESSES,
AND ANYTHING ELSE YOU'VE GOT
AND LET'S REMEMBER
WHAT'S IMPORTANT HERE.
- NO, NO, NO. IT'S...
LITERALLY A CONVERSATION.
IT'S NOT LIKE THERE'LL BE
SCREAMING AND YELLING.
I HAVE A FEW THINGS I NEED
TO SAY TO HER,
AND THEN I'LL BE DONE. - OKAY.
MM.
I'M NOT SURE I'M BUYING THAT.
OKAY, BYE. - ALL RIGHT, BYE.
- [sighs]
- OH, THERE SHE IS.
- HEY, GUYS.
Both: HEY! I'M READY.
- LOOK AT YOU, BEAUTIFUL.
- I'M READY.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR DOING THIS.
- I KNOW.
- YOU LOOK GORGEOUS.
- FOR YOU GUYS.
- OH.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH.
- FRIEND MOVEMENT
IS A BEAUTIFUL ORGANIZATION
THAT IS AN ANTI-BULLYING
CAMPAIGN,
AND I GOT INVOLVED
BECAUSE THEY ASKED ME
IF I WOULD BE ONE OF THEIR
SPOKESPEOPLE FOR THE CAMPAIGN.
THEY KNEW MY EXPERIENCE, THAT I
HAD BEEN BULLIED IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I FEEL LIKE WE ALL HAVE TO WORK
TOGETHER AND TRY TO CUT THIS,
SO THAT OUR KIDS DON'T
SUFFER SO MUCH.
- ALL RIGHT, BEAUTIFUL,
YOU ARE ALL SET.
- WE'RE GOOD?
- YEAH.
- OKAY, SO, LIKE, WHEN YOU'RE
GONNA GIVE THE FINGER,
IT'S GONNA GO JUST LIKE THIS.
- HIDE THE OTHERS?
LIKE THIS?
- YEAH, AND IT'S REALLY STRONG,
AND IT'S LIKE,
IF SOMEONE YOU CARED ABOUT
WAS BEING BULLIED.
JUST, LIKE, STRONG AND TOUGH.
- IT'S FOR MYSELF.
- IT'S FOR YOU.
IT'S ABOUT BEING SELF-EMPOWERED.
- FOR ME AND FOR MY FRIENDS.
- IT'S BASICALLY LIKE YOU
ARE JUST FLICKING BULLYING OFF,
AND TELLING EVERYBODY,
"HEY, WE WANT YOU TO STOP
BEING A BULLY
AND START BEING A FRIEND."
- WHEN SOMEONE CALLS YOU
A FATTY, OR A FREAK,
OR A RACIAL NAME, WE...
- OR THEY CALL YOU
"SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALL..."
- SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALL?
- BECAUSE MY BODY IS LITTLE
AND MY HEAD IS BIG.
OR "OLIVE OIL."
- SO WE WANT... WE WANT THEM...
- OR "HOY-SAY."
- WHEN SOMEONE ATTACKS YOU
VERBALLY, WE WANT YOU...
- I'M GONNA GIVE THE "F"
TO ALL THOSE BULLIES
THAT BULLIED ME.
- I KNOW YOU ARE.
- [laughs]
I KNOW YOU ARE. LET'S DO THIS.
- YES, IT'S LIKE, "F."
- RIGHT HAND.
- OKAY. THUMB OUT, NICE.
BRING IT OVER A LITTLE BIT.
BRING IT IN JUST A LITTLE BIT.
NICE.
- OH, MY GOD.
- MEAN.
- YES.
- YOU LOOK SO HOT.
- SMOKING.
NO BULLY SHOULD MESS WITH YOU.
[laughs]
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING RIGHT NOW?
- I'M THINKING, "[bleep] YOU"
TO ALL THOSE BULLIES.
I PERSONALLY THINK
THAT BULLYING IS JUST A FORM
OF CALLING FOR ATTENTION.
- JOYCE IS A BIG, FAT PIG.
- [laughs]
- BRANDI NEEDS TO STOP CALLING
OUT FOR SO MUCH ATTENTION.
START ACTING LIKE A LADY
AND GROW UP.
- COOL.
- I THINK WE HAVE THAT.
- I THINK WE GOT... YOU GOT IT.
- WE GOT IT.
- WHOO. THANK YOU, JOY.
- THANK YOU.
- PERFECT.
- YOU LIKE THOSE?
- OH, I WOULDN'T CUT IT
LIKE THAT.
IS THAT ALL OF THEM?
I'VE ACTUALLY DECIDED
TO INVITE ALL THE LADIES
OVER AT BREAKFAST TIME.
I THINK IT'S
A KIND OF CIVILIZED HOUR.
NOTHING CAN GO WRONG.
OKAY, THIS IS GORGEOUS.
- HELLO.
- HI.
- OH, FINE. I'LL TAKE IT.
- [laughs]
PERFECT. WHAT SIZE IS IT?
- I BROUGHT YOU CUPCAKES.
- OH, THANK YOU.
- YOU'RE HAVING A LITTLE TEA.
LOOK.
SO I BROUGHT...
THIS IS A VERY SIMPLE ONE.
- ALL RIGHT.
- COCKTAIL.
- OKAY, PERFECT.
COME OUT THE BACK.
- LET ME SEE THIS PINK ONE.
OH, MY GOD.
- JOYCE, STEP AWAY
FROM THE CLOTHES RACK.
- YOU KNOW ME,
I'M A TOTAL FASHIONISTA.
- HELLO. HI!
- HELLO. HOW ARE YOU?
- HI.
- YOU LOOK GREAT.
- THANK YOU. HOW ARE YOU?
- OKAY, GOOD.
GREAT.
I'VE GOT MORE IN A BIG BAG IN...
I'LL GO THROUGH.
I GOT MORE, BUT THESE ARE
JUST THE ONES I GRABBED.
- OKAY, PERFECT.
THANK YOU, DARLING.
- YOU'RE WELCOME.
YEAH, YOU LIKE? - COME IN, YEAH.
JOYCE IS HERE. - [growls]
LISA, I'M GOING TO BRING MORE.
THAT'S JUST... I WAS RUSHING OUT...
- COME SIT DOWN AND RELAX,
DARLING.
- THE GRADUATION,
KIMBERLY'S GRADUATION,
WHICH, BY THE WAY,
YOU DIDN'T MAKE.
- I WAS IN MISSOURI
WITH CHILDREN...
- YOU WERE NOT, YOU WERE AT SUR.
- I WAS NOT. I WAS IN MISSOURI.
- YES YOU WERE.
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW WHAT...
- I WAS IN MISSOURI
THIS WEEKEND.
- NO, MY HAIRDRESSER
SAW YOU AT SUR, HAVING DINNER.
- WELL, THAT'S WEIRD.
I WAS IN MISSOURI.
- HI, BABE.
- MY HAIRDRESSER SAW YOU AT SUR.
- I'VE BEEN IN MISSOURI
ALL WEEKEND.
- MY HAIRDRESSER SAW YOU AT SUR.
- WELL, YOUR HAIRDRESSER'S
DREAMING.
- IT WASN'T AN EASY WEEKEND.
GIGGY, KEN, AND I
WENT TO MISSOURI
TO SUPPORT CHILDREN
WITH ALOPECIA.
IT WAS A LONG WAY,
IT WAS QUITE AN ARDUOUS TRIP,
BUT GIGGY IS COMMITTED TO THAT,
SO, OF COURSE,
I'M GIGGY'S CARRIER,
I HAD TO TAKE HIM.
- SHE SAW YOU AT SUR THAT NIGHT.
- I'M NOT GETTING UP TO SAY HI,
BECAUSE I HAVE GIGGY.
- SHE SAID, "I THOUGHT
I SAW LISA HAVING DINNER
AT SUR."
- I WAS IN MISSOURI,
I PROMISE YOU.
- I LOVE YOUR DRESS.
IT'S VERY SEXY.
- OH, MAYBE I CAME BACK
SATURDAY NIGHT.
- YEAH.
- YEAH.
- [laughs] OH, NOW YOU REMEMBER,
NOW THAT MY HAIRDRESSER
SAW YOU, YOU REMEMBER.
ALL SHE HAD TO SAY WAS,
"SO SORRY, DARLING.
WE COULDN'T ATTEND.
YOU KNOW, WE WERE BUSY."
- THAT'S US IN MISSOURI.
- WHAT... WHEN WAS IT?
- IT WAS SATURDAY NIGHT.
I TOLD YOU IT WAS SATURDAY.
- OH, NO, I TOTALLY
DIDN'T EVEN THINK.
- IT WAS FOR KIDS WITH ALOPECIA.
- THAT WAS THE DAY BEFORE.
SHE SAW YOU HAVING...
- I THOUGHT HER GRADUATION
WAS ON SATURDAY DAYTIME.
- THAT'S GORGEOUS.
- NO, I TOLD YOU
IT WAS SATURDAY NIGHT.
TO JUST MAKE UP A LIE,
AND TO SAY SHE'S AWAY,
IT BOTHERED ME.
- DARLING, I DIDN'T EVEN THINK,
AND IN FACT, I CHANGED MY TICKET
FROM 6:00 TILL 2:00, DIDN'T I?
WHAT TIME DID WE GET BACK?
WE CAUGHT THE 2:00 FLIGHT.
- IT WAS EARLY ENOUGH, BECAUSE
SHE SAW YOU GUYS HAVING DINNER.
- I SWEAR TO YOU
I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE
ON THE 6:00 FLIGHT.
- BUT IF YOU MADE IT BACK,
YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID,
"I'M PACKED IN."
- I DIDN'T EVEN THINK.
I LITERALLY GOT BACK...
IT WAS EXHAUSTING.
WE GOT UP AT 4:00 TO DO THIS,
YOU KNOW, 3-MILE MARCH,
OR WHATEVER,
CHANGED OUR FLIGHTS,
LEFT EARLY. [dog barks]
- THAT'S RIGHT. GIGGY,
GIVE IT TO HER.
- [laughs]
- I PROMISE YOU,
IT JUST TOTALLY
WENT OUT OF MY MIND,
AND I THOUGHT,
"I'VE GOT TO LEAVE EARLY."
TOOK THE 2:00 FLIGHT.
WHAT TIME DID WE GET BACK?
WE WOULD HAVE BEEN BACK ABOUT...
- 8:00.
- YEAH, 8:00.
I REALLY DON'T WANT
TO GET INTO IT WITH HER.
I TOLD HER I WASN'T GOING
AND I DIDN'T GO. END OF STORY.
- IT WAS FUN.
- BRANDI WENT?
- STUFF, IT WAS FUN.
- YEAH, BRANDI, CARLTON,
YOLANDA WAS OUT OF TOWN.
- CARLTON WENT?
- YEAH.
- EVERYBODY.
- IT WAS FUN.
- EVERYBODY BUT LISA.
[dog barks]
- IT DIDN'T LOOK GOOD.
- I'M SURE THERE'S
A LOT OF THINGS
KIM HASN'T TURNED UP FOR.
YOU KNOW, IT WAS
ONE OF THOSE THINGS.
- NO, BUT I WOULDN'T
NOT TURN UP.
I DIDN'T THINK I WAS GOING.
[doorbell ringing]
- IT'S OKAY.
- OKAY, SAVED BY THE BELL.
- [laughs]
- SOMEBODY'S AT THE DOOR.
- ANYWAY, IT WAS REALLY FUN
THE OTHER NIGHT.
I HAD A GOOD TIME.
- THAT'S KIND OF UNCALLED FOR,
KEN, BY THE WAY.
- NO, I'M JUST...
- THAT WAS NOT REALLY VERY NICE,
WHAT YOU JUST SAID.
- REALLY?
- YEAH, THAT REALLY WASN'T
VERY NICE.
- I WAS PROTECTING MY WIFE.
- THAT WASN'T VERY NICE,
ACTUALLY.
- WHATEVER YOU THINK.
- HE'S RIGHT, I DID MISS THINGS.
I DID MISS...
I MISSED A LOT.
THAT WAS REALLY UNCALLED FOR.
- OKAY, I'M SORRY.
- DON'T YOU THINK?
- NO.
- BUT DON'T THROW [bleep]
IN MY FACE
ABOUT STUFF
THAT I REALLY DON'T FEEL
I EVEN HAD A CHOICE OF
A COUPLE YEARS AGO.
I DIDN'T EVEN...
YOU DON'T WANT TO COME
TO KIMBERLY'S GRADUATION,
ALL THEY HAD TO DO WAS SAY,
"HEY, WE'RE BUSY."
I THINK IT WAS RUDE,
AND I THINK IT WAS UNCALLED FOR.
- OH, STOP IT, KIM.
Announcer: COMING UP...
- BRANDI, I WAS BULLIED
IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I KNOW WHAT A BULLY IS.
- BEING A BULLY... LISTEN.
I'M NOT A BULLY.
IF I WAS A BULLY,
I WOULD HAVE KNOCKED
YOUR [bleep] TEETH OUT BY NOW.
- KNOCK, KNOCK!
HELLO! - HEY, I'M HERE.
- CAN I COME UP
OR ARE YOU COMING DOWN?
- NO, I'M COMING DOWN.
- I ALMOST WORE A PINK SHIRT
AND WHITE JEANS.
I'M NOT JOKING. [laughs]
- I WOULDN'T MIND.
- NO, BUT THEN I THOUGHT,
"I CAN'T GO TO VILLA ROSA
IN PINK AGAIN."
- YOU KNOW I WAS IN MISSOURI...
YOU KNOW I WAS IN MISSOURI
ALL WEEKEND.
- WHY?
- I JUST GOT BUSTED BY KIM
BECAUSE I CHANGED MY FLIGHT
AND CAME BACK EARLIER.
SHE'S JUST LIKE,
"OH, WHY DIDN'T YOU COME
TO MY DAUGHTER'S GRADUATION?"
I SAID, "WELL, I COULDN'T COME.
I WAS IN MISSOURI ALL WEEKEND."
SHE SAID, "NO YOU WEREN'T.
YOU WERE HAVING DINNER AT SUR."
AND I THOUGHT, "WAS I?"
KIM ALWAYS THROWS ME OFF.
IT'S LIKE, YES, I COULDN'T MAKE
YOUR DAUGHTER'S GRADUATION.
I SENT HER A NICE TIFFANY GIFT.
I RSVP'D TWO WEEKS BEFORE
SAYING I COULDN'T MAKE IT.
IT'S LIKE,
GIVE ME A BREAK, REALLY.
- ALL RIGHT, THIS IS...
LOOK HOW CUTE.
THIS IS MY WEDDING DRESS,
BY THE WAY.
- YOUR WEDDING DRESS?
- IT'S BADGLEY MISCHKA.
- THIS IS YOUR WEDDING DRESS?
- I WORE IT... THE SECOND ONE
I CHANGED INTO AFTER MY GOWN.
- OH, IT'S...
I'LL TAKE IT. [laughs]
- YOU MIGHT WANT TO KEEP IT.
- THANK YOU FOR STAYING SO LONG.
THANK YOU FOR COMING
AND STAYING AS LONG AS YOU DID.
I KNOW YOU WANTED
TO GET HOME TO YOUR HUBBY.
- IT WAS FUN. NO, IT WAS FUN.
IT WAS FUN.
- IT WAS REALLY AWESOME.
- IT WAS FUN.
DID YOU SEE THE... YOUR TUNIC?
THAT I GOT YOU?
- OH, YES, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
- DO YOU LIKE IT?
- COME ON, ROXIE.
- YOU'RE RUNNING. WHY?
- [chuckles]
- YOU DON'T WANT TO BE HERE.
I NEED YOU TO PACK THE BOXES.
- I'LL PACK THE BOXES LATER.
- OH, COME ON.
- I'VE GOT TO GO.
I'LL JUST GO WITH THE, UM...
- NO, JUST STAY, OKAY?
- I'M GOING.
- STAY. I NEED YOU
TO KEEP BRANDI OCCUPIED
OVER THERE. TRUST ME.
- I'VE ALREADY HAD WORDS
WITH KIM.
- YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
FOR KIM TO SUDDENLY
START MAKING A BIG DEAL
ABOUT US NOT GOING
TO KIMBERLY'S PARTY,
WHEN WE'D ACTUALLY REPLIED,
AND BOUGHT KIMBERLY A PRESENT,
I MIGHT ADD.
WE WERE WORKING ALL WEEKEND
WITH THE LITTLE KIDS,
AND THAT WAS IT. - I KNOW.
- I MEAN, IT'S UNREAL.
DON'T THANK US A THANK YOU NOTE.
DON'T BOTHER ABOUT THAT.
CAN I GO? - NO, JUST STAY.
- OH. WHERE'S THE BOXING GLOVES?
- HELLO, KIMBERLY.
- HI, GIRL. HOW'S YOU?
- HI, JOYCE.
- HELLO.
- PRETTY GOOD, THANK YOU. MM.
- LONG TIME NO SEE. [laughs]
- I KNOW, RIGHT?
- I FEEL LIKE I'M SEEING YOU...
I JUST SAID THAT OUTSIDE.
I GO, "I FEEL LIKE
I SEE KIM EVERYWHERE."
- I SEE YOU A LOT.
- I'M GONNA GIVE THIS PURSE
TO HER, EXCUSE ME.
I'M NOT NERVOUS
ABOUT TALKING TO JOYCE,
BUT THE CONVERSATION
THAT I WANT TO HAVE WITH JOYCE
DOES NOT INVOLVE ANYONE
BUT HER AND I.
- NO. HEY, WHERE YOU GOING?
LOOK. NO. NO. NO.
- WHAT'S HIS NAME?
- "ROXIE."
- ROXIE. ROXIE ATE THE RABBIT.
- [whistling]
- YOU BROUGHT A ANIMAL-EATING
CRITTER WITH YOU?
- I DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE.
- YOU BROUGHT AN ANIMAL-EATING...
- I KNEW I WAS SAFE HERE.
- SHE ATE THE RABBIT, RIGHT?
- WELL.
- GIGGY'S THE SAME SIZE
AS A RABBIT.
GIGGY, GET OUT OF HERE.
- SHE HUNTS SOMETIMES.
ROXIE, HER INSTINCT IS TO GO
AFTER OTHER ANIMALS AT TIMES.
SHE ATE A BUNNY.
WE WERE DEVASTATED BY THIS,
BUT SHE'S AN ANIMAL.
YOU CAN'T CONTROL THAT.
- YOU'RE LIKE, "GIGGY,
GET OUT OF HERE!" [laughs]
- HI.
- HEY, PRETTY.
- WELL, YOU'RE NOT MUCH BIGGER
THAN A RABBIT.
SHE ATE A RABBIT
THAT'S THE SAME SIZE AS GIGGY.
- I DON'T THINK HE LOOKS
VERY DANGEROUS.
- MWAH.
- PUT GIGGY IN YOUR OFFICE.
- NO, NO. NO.
SHE'S NOT GOING TO EAT GIGGY.
- YES, SHE ATE...
GIGGY'S ABOUT THE SAME SIZE
AS A RABBIT.
SO SUDDENLY SHE SHOWS UP
WITH ROXIE.
I'M LIKE, "OH, GOD. HOLY COW."
- WHAT DO YOU THINK SHE IS,
A WOLF?
- [laughs]
SHE'S GONNA EAT GIGGY.
- GIGGY, ROXIE.
I MEAN, THERE'S KIND OF
A BIG DIFFERENCE HERE.
- GIGGY DOESN'T EVEN
WALK AROUND.
- LISA, STOP, STOP.
- I'M COMING HERE TO BE NICE.
YOU BRING YOUR DOG
TO MY HOUSE EVERY DAY.
GIGGY SITS AT EVERY TABLE
WITH US, EVERYWHERE WE GO,
AND DRINKS OUT OF GOBLETS.
- OH, SH...
- [laughs]
- GIVE BE A FLIPPING BREAK.
- ROXIE, WANT TO GO
INTO THE GARDEN?
[laughter]
- OH, GIRL, I HEARD THAT.
- WELL, THAT'S GOOD, 'CAUSE I
WANTED TO TALK TO JOYCE ANYWAY.
JOYCE, THERE'S A FEW THINGS
I WOULD LIKE TO SAY TO YOU,
AND IF YOU WOULD ALLOW ME
TO TALK BEFORE YOU SPEAK,
I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT.
- WE DON'T NEED TO GET
INVOLVED IN THIS.
- FIRST OF ALL,
I WOULD LIKE TO SAY
THAT I MAY SAY STUPID THINGS
SOMETIMES, BUT I'M NOT A RACIST.
SECOND, I MAY HAVE BEEN A BITCH
TO YOU IN PALM SPRINGS,
BUT I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE
BEEN A BULLY.
AND, LASTLY,
TO SAY I'M AN ALCOHOLIC
BECAUSE I GOT DRUNK
ON VACATION, JUST NOT TRUE.
SO... THAT'S REALLY IT.
- CAN I SPEAK NOW?
- SURE.
- FIRST OF ALL,
I'M NOT SAYING YOU'RE A RACIST.
THAT WAS A RACIST COMMENT,
WHAT YOU SAID,
AND YOU HAVE TO ADMIT IT.
- IT WAS A STUPID COMMENT.
- WE'RE NOT GETTING INVOLVED.
JUST GET OVER HERE!
- I'M NOT GETTING INVOLVED,
I'M LISTENING.
THAT'S DIFFERENT
THAN GETTING INVOLVED.
- EVERYONE THAT KNOWS ME
KNOWS I SAY STUPID STUFF
ALL OF THE TIME.
- OKAY, I LET IT GO,
BUT I'M THINKING TO MYSELF,
"OKAY, I'M TRYING
TO GET TO KNOW THIS GIRL.
SHE SAYS RACIAL REMARKS.
THEN SHE CALLS ME..."
- OH, ONE. ONE TIME.
- IS IT GOING WELL, OR NOT?
- WELL, IF YOU WOULD SHUT UP
FOR A SECOND SO I COULD HEAR,
MAYBE I WOULD KNOW.
- OH, SO YOU'RE BLACK
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T SWIM?
I MEAN, THAT'S A RACIAL REMARK.
- THAT'S NOT
EXACTLY WHAT I SAID.
- I CAN'T SWIM.
- YOU'RE A BLACK PERSON.
- ACTUALLY I AM.
I AM A BLACK PERSON...
- GREAT. OKAY.
- BECAUSE IF YOU KNOW
THE HISTORY OF PUERTO RICANS...
- WELL, THEN I'M SORRY
IF I HAVE OFFENDED YOU.
- APOLOGY ACCEPTED.
- MY EX-HUSBAND... IT'S NOT A...
- WE DON'T NEED TO...
APOLOGY ACCEPTED.
- THERE'S NOTHING RACIST
ABOUT ME.
- THAT'S ALL I NEEDED TO HEAR.
APOLOGY ACCEPTED.
- GREAT.
- NEXT SUBJECT.
- HUH?
- AWKWARD.
- YOU DON'T GO TO SOMEBODY
THAT IS HOSTING YOU...
YOU DON'T SAY,
"JOYCE IS A BIG, FAT PIG."
- JOYCE, YOU'VE BEEN AROUND ME
A HANDFUL OF TIMES IN YOUR LIFE.
- DO YOU WANT ME TO SPEAK?
BECAUSE I GAVE YOU...
I GAVE YOU YOUR MOMENT TO SPEAK.
- JOYCE SPEAKS AT YOU,
NOT TO YOU,
AND SHE DOESN'T HEAR YOU
WHEN YOU SPEAK TO HER.
EVERY TIME.
YES, PLEASE SPEAK,
BUT PLEASE UNDERSTAND...
- I GAVE YOU YOUR MOMENT
TO SPEAK, SO I'M JUST...
I JUST WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND
WHERE I'M COMING FROM.
- WHEN YOU THROW OUT
THESE LABELS,
THEY COULD AFFECT MY CUSTODY
OF MY CHILDREN,
AND THAT IS A BIG DEAL.
- BUT, THEY NEED TO...
- QUIT TALKING, I WANT TO HEAR.
- WHY?
- BECAUSE THEN, BY THE TIME
THE STORY COMES BACK TO ME,
I WILL HAVE HEARD IT MYSELF
INSTEAD OF THE THREE DIFFERENT
VARIATIONS I NORMALLY GET.
IF HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF,
THIS IS GOING TO BE
A BIG STORY LATER,
AND THEY'RE GONNA SAY,
"BUT SHE SAID, AND SHE SAID,"
AND NOW I CAN SAY,
"WELL, I KNOW, BECAUSE I HEARD."
- YOU DON'T NEED TO EVEN HAVE
AN OPINION ON THIS.
- THERE'S MANY MORE THINGS
THAT I WANT TO SAY.
- YOU MET ME FIVE TIMES,
FIVE TIMES.
- CAN I CONTINUE TELLING YOU?
YOU'VE BEEN DESPICABLE.
- OH.
- DESPICABLE.
AT YOLANDA'S DINNER,
WHEN I WAS SPEAKING SPANISH
BECAUSE DAVID ASKED ME
TO MAKE A TOAST...
[speaking Spanish]
- I PREFER ENGLISH,
'CAUSE I DON'T... LIKE, I MEAN...
IT'S HARD ENOUGH UNDERSTANDING
ENGLISH RIGHT NOW.
- I MEAN. COME ON.
WHEN I TELL YOU
I WAS BULLIED IN HIGH SCHOOL...
- IT'S ME BEING A BITCH.
- YOU KNOW HOW WE ALWAYS SAY...
[British accent]
"OH, THERE'S YOUR... HER STORY,
YOUR STORY, AND THE TRUTH."
- WE DON'T SAY...
[exaggerated British accent]
"OH, THERE'S YOUR STORY,
HER STORY, AND THE TRUTH."
- [laughs]
THERE'S THREE SIDES.
- BUGGER OFF NOW.
- LET'S JUST AGREE.
I DON'T LIKE YOU,
YOU DON'T LIKE ME,
AND THAT'S FINE.
- I DON'T NEED TO LIKE YOU,
AND I'M NOT A $100 BILL
THAT YOU NEED TO LIKE.
- EXACTLY, SO STOP...
- WAIT, 32D?
- YEAH.
- YOUR TAG OF YOUR BRA IS...
- OH, RIGHT.
- WHO KNEW YOU WERE A "D"?
- YEAH. I AM.
THESE ARE A "D," YEAH - A "D"?
- STOP MESSING WITH ME.
- I DON'T.
- STOP MESSING WITH ME.
YOU'RE SAYING
YOU NEVER BULLIED ME.
I WAS BULLIED IN HIGH SCHOOL,
I KNOW...
- I'M NOT A BULLY.
IF I WAS A BULLY,
I WOULD HAVE KNOCKED
YOUR [bleep] TEETH OUT BY NOW.
- OH.
KNOCK YOUR TEETH OUT
IF YOU WERE A BULLY?
NO. THAT'S NOT THE WAY
TO GO ABOUT IT.
- I DON'T HAVE SYMPATHY
FOR IT IF YOU DON'T TAKE
RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS.
- I DON'T CARE
IF YOU HAVE SYMPATHY
FOR ANY PART OF ME,
BUT WHEN YOU LABEL ME
THESE HORRIBLE THINGS...
- OH, [bleep] THIS.
- I DO, I THINK THAT
PALM SPRINGS WAS A LITTLE...
WAS DEFINITELY NOT... - A LITTLE?
- LET'S JUST SORT
THESE CLOTHES OUT. KYLE?
- DID YOU SAY YOU'RE SORRY
FOR PALM SPRINGS?
- I'M... I'M NOT, NO.
- YOU DON'T...
THERE'S NO SORRY?
- SHE'S NOT SORRY.
- YOU DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR MAYBE
SOME OF THE THINGS YOU SAID?
- I MEAN,
I HAVEN'T GOTTEN AN APOLOGY,
SO I DON'T FEEL LIKE
I NEED TO GIVE ONE EITHER.
- CARLTON.
- HELLO.
- COME FOR A NICE,
RELAXING AFTERNOON.
GO AND JOIN THEM OVER THERE.
- REALLY?
INTO THE FRAY, RIGHT?
- [laughs] I'M JOKING.
STAY HERE WITH US.
IT'S MUCH SAFER HERE.
- THIS IS GREAT.
- REALLY?
- YES.
- OKAY, I'LL TAKE THAT ONE
ON THE FRONT. - I KNOW, RIGHT?
- IF SOMEONE'S VICIOUSLY
ATTACKING ME A MILLION TIMES,
I DON'T FEEL I NEED
TO APOLOGIZE, I FEEL...
- HI.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD, BABY. HOW ARE YOU?
- OH, YOU LOOK PRETTY.
- YOU'RE LIKE,
"WELL, HELLO THERE."
- WELL, NO, I WAS... I'M LIKE,
"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?"
- YES, EXACTLY.
- COME ON. SOMEBODY
COME AND HELP ME WITH THE BOXES.
- [laughs]
- LET'S REMEMBER WHY WE'RE HERE.
- I'LL COME AND HELP YOU,
'CAUSE I'M DONE.
I'M DONE.
Announcer: COMING UP...
- BUT I CAN GIVE YOU A HUG,
AND I CAN MOVE ON.
- DON'T TOUCH ME!
EW! LIKE, DON'T COME NEAR ME!
- LET'S GET WET
AND RUN THROUGH LISA'S HOUSE.
COME ON, ROXIE. LISA?
- OH, I HAVE GOT TO PUSH YOU
IN THERE.
- I WILL KILL YOU.
- [laughs]
- I SWEAR TO GOD, LISA,
I WILL KILL YOU.
- [laughs]
- I WILL KILL YOU.
I WILL KILL YOU.
OH, MY GOD! YOU'RE SO...
- OH!
- OH, MY GOD.
THIS IS MY OUTFIT! - AH!
YOU'RE SO CHILDISH, KYLE.
- I'M SO CONFUSED.
I DIDN'T THINK LISA AND KYLE
WERE ON SUCH GOOD TERMS.
- [laughs]
- BACK ON, BACK OFF.
BACK ON, BACK OFF.
- SO CHILDISH.
- [laughs]
OH, MY GOD, NO! MY HAIR!
- LISA, YOUR PANTS
ARE SEE-THROUGH.
[laughter] HA HA.
- WHAT ABOUT THIS?
ROBERTO CAVALLI.
- OH, THAT IS CUTE! OH!
- I LIKE THAT DRESS.
- JOYCE, THIS IS FOR YOU.
- OKAY, THAT IS SO ME.
I LOVE THAT.
- AND THERE'S A CROSS ON IT.
IT'S FOR CARLTON.
- LISTEN,
SO YOU'RE AT A STALEMATE.
IF YOU'RE SAYING YOU'RE WAITING
FOR AN APOLOGY FROM HER,
SHE'S CLEARLY NOT GONNA GIVE IT,
AND SHE'S WAITING FOR IT
FROM YOU.
THEN WHAT DO WE DO?
WE DO THIS EVERY TIME?
- BUT, LISA...
- LISA, IN PALM SPRINGS,
SHE NEVER EVEN
SPOKE UP FOR HERSELF ONCE.
- RIGHT, I AGREE, LOVE.
- SO LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION.
KNOWING THAT SHE WAS
RUDE TO YOU IN PALM SPRINGS
BY CALLING YOU "JACQUELINE"
HOWEVER MANY TIMES...
- AND AT YOLANDA'S,
WHICH YOU WEREN'T THERE.
- KIM, WILL YOU ORGANIZE HERE?
I'VE GOT ANXIETY.
- YOU'RE USING
A LOT OF BLOODY LABELS,
AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT...
THE WAY YOU OPERATE.
- I KNOW YOU WANT TO COME
AND DEFEND HER.
I'M GONNA GIVE YOU... I'M GONNA
TELL YOU THE WAY I OPERATE.
- LOOK, WE ALL KNOW
YOU'RE NOT A RACIST.
WE ALL KNOW IT WAS
A STUPID REMARK.
- SORRY, YOU CAN'T JUSTIFY
PUTTING LABELS ON PEOPLE,
NOT EVEN KNOWING HER. - NO.
- BY THE WAY,
YOU ARE IN NO POSITION
TO PUT THAT KIND OF LABEL
ON ANYBODY.
- SHE'S IN NO POSITION
TO BE RUDE TO ME.
SHE'S IN NO POSITION
TO ATTACK ME.
- BUT YOU CAN'T CALL HER
BI-POLAR.
- SHE'S IN NO POSITION
TO CALL ME A BIG, FAT PIG.
"JOYCE IS A BIG FAT PIG."
- YEAH, BECAUSE YOU REALLY...
SHE'S IN NO POSITION TO CALL ME
"JACQUELINE."
SHE'S IN NO POSITION
TO CALL ME "JOY-SAY."
- OKAY.
SHE'S IN NO POSITION TO SAY...
- "BL-BL-BL-BL-BL."
AND THIS IS ALL I'M HEARING,
"BL-BL-BL-BL-BL."
I'M WATCHING THE MOUTH,
AND I'M LIKE,
"[bleep] HELL, STOP."
- I HAD A CONVERSATION WITH HER,
THE ONLY TIME I GOT A WORD IN
WAS WHEN SHE TOOK A BREATH.
- [laughs]
I SCREW UP EVERY DAY, PROBABLY.
I SAY THINGS I SHOULDN'T SAY,
I DO THINGS I SHOULDN'T DO.
IT'S JUST WHO I AM.
I'M NORMAL, I MAKE MISTAKES,
I'M NOT PERFECT.
AND I'M NOT SORRY. I'M SORRY...
- BUT SHE WAS RETALIATING
OVER YOU KIND OF
TREATING HER POORLY
IN PALM SPRINGS.
- THAT'S GREAT,
AND I WAS RETALIATING
OVER WHAT SHE PULLED
AT THE THOMPSON.
- LISA CAN GIVE CRITICISM,
BUT SHE DOESN'T TAKE IT.
- THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID.
- YES IT WAS.
- WHEN HAVE I GIVEN CRITICISM
TO ANYONE? - OH, WOW. OKAY.
- OKAY, SO CAN YOU JUST
KIND OF END IT LIKE THAT?
- YES, SURE.
YOU CANNOT WIN WITH THIS PERSON.
YOU JUST CAN'T.
IT'S LIKE, YOU CAN'T FIGHT
WITH CRAZY, SO JUST GIVE IT UP.
- JOYCE.
- WE CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE.
- I'M SORRY FOR WHAT I SAID
TO YOU IN PALM SPRINGS,
CALLING YOU "JACQUELINE,"
OR WHATEVER I SAID.
I AM NONE OF THE THINGS
THAT YOU'VE LABELED ME.
I THINK IT'S INCREDIBLY RUDE
AND JUDGMENTAL
FOR YOU TO DO THAT.
MOVING FORWARD,
I WILL BE KIND TO YOU,
AND NOT CALL YOU
ANY OTHER NAME THAN "JOYCE."
- I'M SORRY IF I HURT YOU,
CALLING YOU THE THINGS
THAT I CALLED YOU,
BECAUSE I AM WOMAN ENOUGH
TO ACCEPT MY MISTAKES.
ON MY END, THE ISSUE
WITH BRANDI IS OVER FOR GOOD.
I HOPE THAT ON HER END,
IT'S NOT JUST A BAND-AID,
AND I HOPE
SHE CAN REALLY STOP BEING
THE MEAN BRANDI
THAT I'VE KNOWN SO FAR.
- YAY.
- RESOLUTION.
- NO BEING CYNICAL, BUT I CAN
GIVE YOU A HUG, AND MOVE ON.
- DON'T TOUCH ME! EW!
LIKE, DON'T COME NEAR ME!
WE CAN AGREE TO DISAGREE,
BUT WE DON'T HAVE TO HUG.
NOW LET'S HAVE
SOME SHOTS OF TEQUILA.
[laughter]
announcer: NEXT TIME,
ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES
OF BEVERLY HILLS...
- I'M GOING TO SACRAMENTO.
I HAVE A BOOK SIGNING THERE.
- WHO STAYED HERE
THAT WE WOULD KNOW?
BARACK OBAMA?
- NO. MR. SCHWARZENEGGER.
- EW! GET OUT OF BED!
- AH!
- WOW.
- WHOO!
- THAT'S PUSSY POWER.
- NOW WE'RE TALKING!
- LIKE THAT?
- YEAH, SO RIGHT NOW...
CAN YOU HEAR MY VOICE?
- HE'S TAPPING! HE'S TAPPING!
LET GO!
- I THINK I ALMOST
STRANGLED HIM. [laughs]
[women yelling]
- KIM, DO NOT KICK ME
IN THE PENIS, IT HURTS.
- OH.
[laughter]
- SHE'S LAUGHING AT YOU.
All: OH!
- I JUST WANT TO LIVE
A NORMAL LIFE.
MY FAMILY'S, LIKE,
FALLING [bleep] APART, AND...
- SNAP OUT OF IT. HUH?
- I'M FINE.
- "I'M FINE" DOESN'T WORK
WITH ME. - I'M FINE.
SHE'S ALWAYS MOMMY-ING ME.
- LISA.
Announcer: TO LEARN MORE
ABOUT THE HOUSEWIVES,
ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES
OF BEVERLY HILLS...
- I WANT A ROOM IN THE HOUSE
WHERE I CAN LOCK THE DOOR
AND COMPLETELY HAVE
NO INHIBITIONS WHATSOEVER.
- YOU CAN TELL ME
EXACTLY WHERE YOU WANT THE POLE.
- YAY!
- OH, I'LL TELL YOU
WHERE I WANT IT. [laughter]
- KIMBERLY'S GRADUATING.
THIS IS BY FAR ONE
OF THE PROUDEST DAYS OF MY LIFE.
MM, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
SORRY.
- JOYCE IS COMING TONIGHT.
- I DIDN'T ACTUALLY REALIZE
SHE WAS COMING.
- [laughs]
- [sighs]
- I'M HOPING JOYCE AND BRANDI
COULD SORT OUT
THEIR DIFFERENCES.
- FOR NO REASON,
YOU WERE BEING A BULLY.
- I WAS NOT BULLYING YOU.
- YES, YOU WERE.
YOU'RE A SMART GIRL.
DON'T ACT LIKE A BIMBO.
YOU'RE JUST BLONDE,
BUT YOU'RE NOT A BIMBO.
- SHUT THE [bleep] UP!
- [bleep].
- YOU GO [bleep] YOURSELF.
[bleep] OFF, BECAUSE I JUST...
- I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW,
BUT IT'S JUST...
IT'S NOT ACCEPTABLE.
YOU CAN'T KEEP DOING THAT.
- [sighs]
- LOOK, I'M NOT
MAKING EXCUSES FOR HER,
BUT SHE HAS BEEN GOING THROUGH
A REALLY TOUGH TIME LATELY.
- THAT'S AN EXCUSE.
[upbeat music]
- I'M FROM THIS TOWN.
I KNOW WHAT'S REAL
AND WHAT'S FAKE.
- DON'T TELL ME
YOU'RE MY FRIEND, ACT LIKE ONE.
- IN BEVERLY HILLS, THE HIGHER
YOU CLIMB, THE FARTHER YOU FALL.
- EVERYBODY LOVES
A COMEBACK STORY,
ESPECIALLY STARRING ME.
- IN MY WORLD,
MONEY DOESN'T TALK, IT SWEARS.
- YOU COULD NEVER BE TOO YOUNG,
TOO THIN, OR TOO HONEST.
- LIFE IS A SEXY, LITTLE DANCE,
AND I LIKE TO TAKE LEAD.
- KYLE PICKED THIS PLACE.
- WELL, LET'S SEE.
- OH, HERE WE GO.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- KIM, I THINK YOU SIT HERE,
AND I'LL GO OVER HERE, 'CAUSE...
- WAIT, KIMBERLY NEEDS...
- YOU GO.
- NO, YOUR DAY. YOU SIT.
ALTHOUGH KIMBERLY GRADUATED
AWHILE AGO,
HER GRADUATION PARTY'S TONIGHT.
I WANTED TO PICK
JUST THE RIGHT TIME
TO HONOR ALL HER HARD WORK.
- I NEED TO GET A BIKINI WAX.
- MM.
OH, I JUST HAD ONE.
- YOU DID?
- YEP.
- GOOD.
- SO CUTE.
- CUTE?
- MINE'S SO CUTE.
[laughs] - WHAT'D YOU DO TO IT?
- I JUST... YOU KNOW,
I JUST HAD MY WIENER WAXED.
- SHUT UP!
YOU CANNOT CALL IT A "WIENER."
- WELL, I DID, WHATEVER.
MY WIENER IS WAXED.
- WOULD YOU TELL YOUR MOM
TO STOP CALLING IT A "WIENER"?
- IT'S EMBARRASSING.
WE'RE IN FRONT OF PEOPLE, MOM.
- YOU DON'T HAVE A WIENER,
SO YOU CAN'T SAY "A WIENER."
- WOULD YOU LIKE THE OTHER WORD?
"VAGINA."
[both laughing]
- WELL, I CALL IT A "TWEETER."
- YOU CAN'T CALL IT A "TWEETER"
'CAUSE NOW THERE'S TWITTER.
- WELL, NOW THERE'S TWITTER,
AND IT RUINED EVERYTHING,
BUT STILL CALL IT MY TWEETER.
- YOU CAN'T CALL... WHATEVER.
[both laughing]
- KIM'S CALLING IT A "WEINER."
I CALL IT A "TWEETER."
I MEAN, GOD FORBID,
WE WOULD ACTUALLY CALL IT A...
[mouthing word]
'CAUSE I HATE THAT WORD.
IT'S SO GROSS. [laughs]
- DO YOU DO BIKINI EXTENSIONS?
- OH, MY GOD. [laughter]
- YOU PUT... YOU, LIKE,
BEDAZZLE YOUR TWEETER?
- YEAH.
- BASICALLY.
- HOW DO YOU BEDAZZLE...
- I TOLD YOU.
I JUST HAD MINE FRENCH BRAIDED.
- DYE IT.
- DIET? OH, I WAS THINKING
D-I-E-T, "DIET."
[laughter]
- MINE'S BEEN ON A DIET
FOR A LONG TIME.
[laughter]
IT'S NOT LIKE MINE'S BEEN
EATING A WHOLE LOT ANYWAY,
SO... THERE. OKAY, WHATEVER.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW.
[knocking] WHATEVER.
- SO HOW NERVOUS ARE YOU
ABOUT GETTING A BIKINI WAX?
- WELL, I'M...
I HAVE TO TELL YOU, I'M NOT...
I-I-I... OBVIOUSLY,
I DO THEM REGULARLY,
BUT I... TO ME, IT'S VERY PAINFUL.
I HATE IT.
- IT IS? OKAY.
- IT'S VERY...
I'M VERY SENSITIVE DOWN THERE.
- SO I'M GONNA GIVE YOU
A COMPANION,
AND YOU CAN SQUEEZE HIM.
- HIM?
- PINK OR BROWN?
[both starting and laughing]
- MY GOD!
- I HAVE NEVER SEEN A WAXER
PULL OUT ONE OF THESE BEFORE.
AND I ONLY HAD
THE LITTLE PINK ONE.
[laughs]
MINE LOOKED LIKE LIPSTICK.
THERE'S SOMETHING I FOUND
IN MY DRAWER.
- YEAH, WHAT IS IT?
[vibrator buzzing]
- [laughs]
I DON'T... I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW
IF IT'S FOR YOUR NECK...
- OH, I THINK
IT'S FOR SOMETHING ELSE.
[imitating vibrator] [laughs]
- HOW 'BOUT PLIE FOR ME.
- WHAT'S A PLIE?
- UH, FROGGY LEGS. HOLD ON.
- [laughs]
- FROGGY LEGS, HOLD ON.
- OTHER LEG UP.
- OTHER ANGLE... WAIT,
LET ME START WITH THE TOP.
- OOH, GOD! I REALLY DON'T LIKE
THAT SPOT YOU JUST WENT ON.
WHAT IS THAT? OW!
- LET ME SEE.
- SHUT UP.
KIM, SIT DOWN.
I'M GONNA KILL YOU.
- OH, YEAH. YOU DON'T...
- KIM, YOU'RE SO DIS...
[both laughing]
OW! STOP.
- YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.
- "DON'T LOOK."
[imitating Kyle's laugh]
- ONE DAY YOU SHOULD TRY
TO GET YOUR NOSE DONE.
YOU'LL LOVE IT.
- I'VE HAD MY NOSE DONE.
OH, YOU MEAN MY NOSE "DONE"?
OH, NO, I DON'T WANT THAT.
KIM NEEDS THAT.
I DON'T NEED THAT.
[laughs]
- I'M TRYING TO HELP HER OUT.
SHE'S LAYING DOWN THERE.
DO YOU THINK THE LADY
WOULD'VE SUGGESTED IT
IF IT LOOKED IN THERE AND
LOOKED, LIKE, CLEAR AS A BELL?
NO, SHE LOOKED IN THERE
AND SAW OAK TREES.
- YOU'LL LOVE IT.
- OKAY.
I'LL DO IT.
OW! NO... [both laughing]
- YOU JUST CAN'T LAUGH LIKE THAT
WITH ANYBODY THAN YOUR SISTER.
I MEAN, IT FEELS REALLY GOOD.
I FEEL WE'VE FINALLY
GOTTEN TO A BETTER PLACE,
AND IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.
CASE YOU GET NERVOUS, HOLD THIS.
[both laughing]
- HELLO.
- WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL.
- [laughs] HELLO.
- THERE SHE IS.
- OH, MY [bleep] GOD.
[laughter]
I DRANK TOO MUCH TEQUILA.
I BELIEVE THAT EVERY MAN WOULD
LOVE TO SEE HIS WOMAN ON A POLE.
SO BEFORE THE POLE DANCING CLASS
I HAD A DRINK,
AND IT CERTAINLY WASN'T BECAUSE
I WAS NERVOUS OF THE POLE,
ALTHOUGH THAT CAN BE
THREATENING.
YAY! - OH, LOOK AT YOU.
DRINKING AND POLE DANCING,
THEY DON'T MIX FOR ME...
- OH, LOOK AT THOSE SHOES.
- BUT CARLTON MIGHT HAVE BEEN
OVER-SERVED.
Both: HI.
- LITTLE JEALOUS.
- HI, LADIES.
- HELLO.
- WELCOME.
HOW MANY POLE VIRGINS?
YES? - [laughs]
- OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
- YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE.
- [laughs]
- CAN YOU GO UPSIDE DOWN?
- WHOO!
- [gasps]
THAT'S REALLY HOT.
- SO... LET'S GET YOU DRESSED.
YOU CAN WEAR ANYTHING THAT
MAKES YOU FEEL CUTE, SEXY, HOT.
- THIS [bleep] HOTTIE.
LOOK AT YOUR [bleep] BODY.
WHIP IT OFF. - NO!
[laughter]
- I LOVE YOU.
- YAY.
- ALL RIGHT.
- HI! [laughs]
- HI. LET'S GO.
- OH, TARA'S, LIKE...
YOU JUST... WAIT. - I'M READY.
[British accent] I'M READY.
DON'T BREAK
YOUR PERFECT LITTLE NOSEY.
DON'T BREAK IT ON THE POLE.
PBBT.
[laughs]
GO TO YOUR POLE.
- NO, I'VE GOT MY POLE.
- OH, MY. [laughs]
- THEY ALL... YOU CAN FEEL
THE LITTLE SHIFT.
THAT'S BECAUSE THEY ALL HAVE
THE OPTION OF THESE...
- ARE WE SHIFTING?
- YES, DARLING.
- I'M A SHAPESHIFTER.
- YOU'RE A SHAPESHIFTER?
- RIGHT YOU ARE.
I AM NOT A PRUDE, AT ALL.
YAY. - LOOK AT HER.
- I LOVE THE BOD...
ESPECIALLY THE FEMALE BODY.
I LOVE THE FEMALE BODY.
HONESTLY, IT'S A WORK OF ART.
- [laughs]
- OH, I HAVE SOMETHING
REALLY APPROPRIATE.
- WHOO!
- YES, EXCUSE ME.
I FORGOT I WAS WEARING THESE.
- WHOO!
- I'M SEEING LACE,
SO IT'S ALREADY GOOD.
- YES.
- [gasps]
- OH, I LOVE IT! [clapping]
- I FORGOT.
- I ENJOYED
THE "[bleep] OFF" BOOTY SHORTS.
LIKE, "[bleep] OFF" IS GREAT.
I THINK IT SHOULD BE
ON ALL CLOTHES ALL THE TIME.
[laughter]
- WANT TO MOUNT
THAT [bleep] THING.
YEAH.
YAY!
- CARLTON AND I, WE'RE BOTH
REALLY NONJUDGMENTAL PEOPLE.
WE'RE NOT JUST GONNA CAUSE DRAMA
TO FLIP OUT HAIR AROUND
AND BE IN THE MIDDLE
OF SOMETHING.
[laughs]
- OOH! OH, WOW.
- NICE. YEAH.
TRY IT WITH A LITTLE BIT
OF A WALK.
- OH, MY... OH, MY GOD, REALLY?
[gasps] [women cheering]
- I'VE TAKEN POLE DANCING
CLASSES IN THE PAST...
- OH, MY GOD.
- OH.
OH, SHE'S BEEN PRACTICING,
YOU BIG LIAR.
- BUT I GET VERY, LIKE,
SEASICK AND MOTION SICK.
- [laughs]
- I'M GETTING DIZZY
WATCHING EVERYONE.
I CAN'T SIT IN THE BACK OF CARS.
I HAVE SERIOUS PROBLEMS.
SERIOUS "POBLEMS." I CAN'T TALK.
[both laughing]
SO WE HAVE TO GO TO KIM'S?
[laughs]
- YEAH.
- [laughs]
- I DON'T KNOW. I MEAN,
WHAT DO WE BRING OVER THERE?
- NO ALCOHOL?
- I DON'T THINK
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
CARLTON'S VERY CUTE.
SHE WANTED TO BRING ALCOHOL
TO A GRADUATION PARTY
WHERE KIM'S SOBER
AND THE GRADUATOR'S NOT 21 YET.
[laughs] WE'LL GET FLOWERS.
- YAY. [both laughing]
- I THOUGHT WE WERE PUTTING
CUSHIONS ALONG THE BACK.
AND THEN THESE LITTLE OTTOMANS...
HERE'S ANOTHER LITTLE TABLE.
HELLO?
YEAH, JUST CALL AND GIVE THEM
THE CARD NUMBER.
THIS CAN'T JUST SIT THERE.
IT LOOKS REALLY UGLY.
- IT'S GONNA BE OKAY.
- I'M...
- I PROMISE YOU.
- WELL, SO FAR, HONESTLY...
- IT'S GONNA BE OKAY.
- YOU... NO, LIKE,
I DON'T HAVE MY FOUNTAINS.
- WE'RE GONNA...
WE GOT MORE FOUNTAINS COMING.
I THINK IT'LL BE PERFECT.
- AND MY FIRE... MY...
- GONNA BE PERFECT.
- MY PHOTO BOOTH.
AAH!
I'M PANICKING.
WE'RE NOT READY. I'M NOT READY.
I CAME UP WITH THIS AMAZING
THEME IDEA.
MAYBE WE DO COACHELLA STYLE
ON MY SISTER KATHY'S BIG FIELD,
AND HAVE ALL THE KIDS COME...
OH, MY GOSH.
AND THEN KATHY SAID YES,
AND THEN, OOP,
KATHY'S GOING
TO BUCKINGHAM PALACE.
THIS IS NOT FUN RIGHT NOW.
WILL YOU PUT THIS OUTSIDE?
AND KIMBERLY'S LIKE,
"I JUST WANT TO BE HOME,
AND I WAS LIKE, "YEAH."
OKAY, IF NOT, I'LL KEEP THESE.
- OKAY.
- IN CASE.
- ALL RIGHT.
- LEAVE THESE IN CASE.
- OKAY.
- I'LL TAKE THESE IN CASE.
[laughter]
OH, MY GOSH!
Announcer: COMING UP...
- SOME GROSS GUY JUST SENT ME
A PICTURE OF HIS PENIS.
THAT IS DISGUSTING.
- DON'T SEND ME ANY DICK PICS,
ANYBODY.
- [coughing] OH, MY GOD.
[indistinct chatter]
- HI.
- WE NEED SOME DECORATIONS
ON THIS SIDE OF THAT.
IF I WASN'T SOBER TODAY,
I HONESTLY THINK IT COULD'VE
JUST DESTROYED EVERYTHING.
LOOK WHAT I HAVE.
- HI, LOOK AT YOU.
- MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER,
HER GRADUATION.
- WHERE'S WHITNEY?
- WHITNEY IS ON HER WAY,
I THINK.
- THESE ARE THE GOOD THINGS
I HAVE.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH.
HI. - HI, LOOK AT YOU!
- HI, BEAUTIFUL. HOW ARE YOU?
- OH, MY GOODNESS, I LOVE THIS.
- THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
HEY.
- COME HERE. I LOVE YOU.
GOD, I MISSED YOU.
- [laughs]
- CAN YOU TELL WE MISS YOU?
- I KNOW,
YOU MISS ME OR SOMETHING?
- YOU'RE SO PRETTY.
- WELL, YOU HAVEN'T BEEN HOME
HARDLY AT ALL THIS LAST WEEK.
Both: MWAH.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- UGH, OH, MY GOD.
- OKAY. I'M GOOD.
IT'S FUN TO GET
OUT OF A SPORTS CAR.
- [laughs]
- SHOULD WE GET A HAMBURGER?
- [gasps] YES.
- BEEF BURGERS
AND TURKEY BURGERS.
- I WILL HAVE A BEEF BURGER,
BUT WITH NO CHEESE, PLEASE.
- I WANT A BEEF BURGER
WITH EVERYTHING ON IT.
[gasps] YUMMY.
- WITH EVERYTHING?
[text alert]
- WHAT?
- SOME GROSS GUY
JUST SENT ME A PICTURE
OF HIS PENIS,
AND I'M SORRY,
BUT I DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM.
- [laughs]
- THAT IS DISGUSTING!
I LIKE... I HAVE A THING
AGAINST DICK PICS.
I DO NOT LIKE THEM. - [laughs]
- ARE YOU JOKING?
- IS IT GROSS?
- IT'S DISGUSTING.
- DON'T SEND ME ANY DICK PICS,
ANYBODY, PLEASE.
DON'T WANT THEM.
I WANT TO LOOK AT ONE.
BIG DICK, THAT'S IT.
- I'VE NEVER EVEN KISSED
THIS GUY.
- I WAS MORTIFIED.
- WHY DOES HE THINK I WANT
TO SEE A PICTURE OF HIS PENIS?
- ONE WITH CHEESE.
- I'M... OH... WITH... THANK YOU.
- YEAH, WE'RE JUST TALKING.
- SEE OUR PIÑA COLADAS?
THEY'RE VIRGINS.
Both: HI, BABY.
- WHERE'S YOUR MOM?
- I DON'T KNOW... I DON'T KNOW.
- OH!
- OH, MY GOSH.
I FELL OFF... I SWEAR TO GOD,
I FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN DRINKING.
- IT'S THE SPINNING, I SWEAR.
- OH.
- I USED TO GET LIKE THIS
AFTER MY CLASSES.
I WOULD BE, LIKE,
HAVE A, LIKE, NAUSEA ALL DAY.
- YEAH, NO, I ACTUALLY FEEL
LIKE I'M GETTING DIZZY.
- YEAH.
WE'RE THE GREETING COMMITTEE.
- IS THAT WRONG THAT WE'RE
EATING OUT ON THE STOOP?
- [laughs]
YOU DON'T NORMALLY SEE,
LIKE, TWO SKINNY CHICKS
ON THE STOOP WITH SOME BURGERS,
BUT IT HAPPENS.
- I SWEAR,
I DON'T GIVE A [bleep].
- HI!
- [laughing] HI.
- HOW ARE YOU? [laughs]
- I'M GOOD.
YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE GOING
TO A LUAU.
- WELL, I'M AT A LUAU, BABY.
KIMBERLY'S DAD AND I HAVE
REMAINED VERY GOOD FRIENDS
OVER THE YEARS.
WE'VE BEEN ABLE TO DO THAT
THROUGH COOL PARENTING.
IT'S JUST, WE'VE ALWAYS
PUT KIMBERLY FIRST.
- WHERE'S MY LEI?
- [laughs]
HERE, JOHN.
- WE DIDN'T GET LEIS?
- NO, YOU DON'T GET LEI'D
TILL YOU GET HOME,
[laughs]
- THEN I MIGHT NOT EITHER.
[laughter]
- MMM, MUD PIE.
[both laughing] - HI.
- I JUST DROVE THAT CAR TOO.
IS IT THE SAME ONE?
- YEAH, WE HAVE THE SAME CAR.
- IT IS SO POWERFUL, IT'S SCARY.
- I KNOW, AND IT'S SO LOUD.
- HI, PORTIA!
- COME ON.
- WE JUST WORKED OUT,
AND WE'RE FEELING
REALLY NAUSEOUS,
SO WE'RE CHOWING DOWN
BEFORE WE GO IN.
- OH, MY GOD.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?
- NICE TO SEE YOU.
- WE'RE ALL SPINNING. HI.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- DO I HAVE, LIKE,
HAMBURGER ON MY FACE?
Both: MWAH. - DON'T TELL THEM
WE'RE EATING OUTSIDE. [laughs]
- I WON'T.
- WE'RE... I'M LIKE,
"WE'RE GONNA THROW UP."
- IT SEEMS KIND OF ODD TO ME
THAT THEY'RE SITTING ON THE CURB
EATING A FATBURGER BEFORE THEY
GO IN AND SAY HI TO MY SISTER.
ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU INSIDE.
- OH, MY GOD.
- I WASN'T REALLY SURE
WHAT WAS HAPPENING.
- [laughs]
- HI.
- HI.
- THE HOUSE LOOKS SO PRETTY.
- YOU LOVE IT?
- YES, I LOVE
THE HARDWOOD FLOORS.
- SO EXCITED.
- I KNOW.
- I DID IT FOR KIMBERLY'S THING,
AND IT ACTUALLY ENDED UP
BEING SOMETHING
I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT.
I CAN'T BELIEVE, LIKE...
- IT LOOKS SO GOOD.
- WHEN SHE COMES OUT,
I'M LIKE, I WANT IT...
WHEN SHE LEAVES HERE,
SHE'S GONNA LOOK BACK
AND GO, LIKE, "THIS WAS
THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE,
"AND WHEN I COME HOME,
I'M GONNA LOVE MY HOUSE SO MUCH
ON THE WEEKENDS." - AW!
SEE, YOU'RE LIKE,
ANYTHING TO ENTICE THEM.
I KNOW THAT FOR MY SISTER,
THIS IS ONE OF HER
MOST PROUD MOMENTS.
HER BABY GIRL
IS GOING OFF TO COLLEGE,
AND SHE'S GRADUATED
HIGH SCHOOL WITH HONORS.
SHE'S AN INCREDIBLE GIRL.
SHE'S SO BEAUTIFUL,
SO SMART, SO TOGETHER,
AND THAT REALLY IS A REFLECTION
ON WHAT KIND OF MOM
MY SISTER IS.
- THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
- YOU'RE VERY WELCOME.
- THANK YOU, IT WAS DELICIOUS.
- OH, MY GOD.
- YOU HAVE, LIKE, 0% BODY FAT,
BY THE WAY.
- NO, I HAVE [bleep] FAT.
- NO, YOU DON'T.
- IT'S, LIKE, ALL ON MY ASS
AND THIGHS. - OH, MY GOD.
- I'M SORRY. OKAY.
- OH, BOY.
- SHE'S GOT MY BUILD, THOUGH.
[overlapping chatter]
- WHERE IS EVERYONE?
WANT TO JUST GO SAY HI
TO KIMBERLY? - I THINK BAR.
- FOR SURE.
- OH, I WON'T WEASEL IN.
THERE IS RICHER BLOOD IN THERE.
- MY BILL.
- NOTHING.
- I AM NOT FEELING WELL,
AND I'M DEFINITELY NOT UP
FOR ANY KIND OF CONFRONTATION
WITH MISS HAWAII...
I MEAN, JOYCE.
[laughter]
GET BACK.
- REALLY GOOD KIDS TOO.
- HI. [laughs]
- KIDS ARE REALLY GOOD KIDS.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- HOW ARE YOU. LOOK AT YOU.
- I'M PLAYING DRESSED UP.
- WOW. [both laughing]
ARE YOU PERFORMING THIS EVENING?
- I AM,
I'M THE HULA DANCER.
- ARE YOU? [laughs]
I'M LIKE, "WAIT, WHAT?"
JOYCE LOOKS RIDICULOUS.
IT'S BECAUSE SHE WANTS
THE [bleep] ATTENTION.
- I'M SO GLAD YOU GUYS ARE HERE.
- THANK YOU.
THANKS FOR THE INVITE, BABE.
HI. I WANT SOMETHING FRUITY
AND SOMETHING WITH ALCOHOL.
- HMM, UM...
- [laughs]
- I HAVE, LIKE, A FEW BEERS
IN THIS COOLER.
- OH, IT JUST WON'T DO.
I WAS A LITTLE PERPLEXED,
BECAUSE ME LIKE TO DRINK.
THIS JUST WON'T DO.
WE'RE ALCOHOLICS HERE.
- YEAH, I KNOW, RIGHT?
[laughter]
- WE'RE AT THIS BEAUTIFUL PARTY
FOR AN UNDER-AGED GIRL
AND KIM IS
A RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC,
SO, CARLTON, RIGHT NOW
IS NOT THE PLACE
TO GO FISHING FOR BOOZE.
- LET'S GO GET SOME ALCOHOL.
- HI.
- HELLO.
I'M LOOKING FOR ALCOHOL. - OH.
- SO FAR I'M HAVING FRUIT.
- IS THAT IT?
- YEAH, YEAH.
- I'M MORE NAUSEOUS NOW
THAT I ATE THE HAMBURGER.
- DO YOU WANT SOMETHING
TO DRINK?
- I DON'T KNOW.
I WAS JUST IN THE BATHROOM
THINKING I MIGHT THROW UP.
- NO WAY.
- MAYBE YOU'RE PREGNANT.
- I'M DEFINITELY NOT.
[laughter]
- RIGHT, I'M GONNA GET
A HAMBURGER ANYWAY. - OKAY.
- MWAH.
- CAN I GET YOU A SODA?
- NO, I REALLY... I REALLY JUST...
I THINK THE HAMBURGER
MADE IT WORSE.
AY-YI-YI.
- IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO EAT THIS.
LIKE, HELLO.
- YOU CAN, YOU JUST
WRAP YOUR LIPS AROUND IT.
- JUST LIKE...
- YEAH, AH.
- IT'S HOW I EAT. [laughs]
- KIM IS AROUND ALCOHOL
AT OTHER PEOPLE'S PARTIES
ALL THE TIME, BUT I DO THINK
THAT WHEN YOU'RE IN HER HOME,
WHY WOULD YOU BE LOOKING FOR IT?
I DID NOT APPRECIATE
OR THINK IT WAS APPROPRIATE.
- OH, MY GOD.
- OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD.
SHE NEEDS SOME SODA.
- I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA
THROW UP, SORRY.
NO, I'M NOT... I'M LIKE,
I ATE THAT HAMBURGER,
TRYING TO FEEL BETTER, AND IT...
I THINK IT MADE ME WORSE.
I THINK I HAVE TO THROW UP.
- BRANDI. OH, MY GOD.
- SHE'S IN THERE.
I'M LOOKING FOR SOMETHING...
- IS SHE ALL RIGHT?
- OR, LIKE, A SPRITE?
- [coughing]
- OH, MY GOSH.
- [whimpers] OH, MY GOD.
- BRANDI.
- [retching]
- ARE YOU OKAY, BABE?
- NO. I NEED A MINUTE.
[retching]
[whimpers]
[coughing]
OH, MY GOD.
- YEAH, ARE YOU OKAY?
- CAN WE GO?
- WHAT?
- CAN WE GO? [retching]
- I'M GONNA GET SOME...
- [coughs]
- WHY AM I COUGHING?
I'M GONNA GET YOU
GINGER ALE, BABE.
- NO, NO, NO. [coughs]
- [clears throat]
- IS SHE IN THERE?
- YEAH. [toilet flushing]
LIKE... - HERE.
- WILL YOU...
- OH, MY GOD.
- YEAH.
- BEAUTIFUL.
ONE SEEMS TO BE
APPARENTLY DRUNK,
AND THE OTHER ONE
IS THROWING UP.
IT'S PROBABLY TIME TO GO HOME.
- TRY THAT.
- I D...
- NO?
- I CAN'T.
CAN WE GO? - YEAH.
- DO YOU MIND?
- NO, OF COURSE NOT.
- I-I MEAN, LIKE,
THAT HAMBURGER MADE IT WORSE.
I'M JUST SPINNING.
I DON'T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT IT.
IT REALLY... IT REALLY MAKES ME
WANT TO GAG.
[laughing]
I... LIKE, YOU GET THE VISUALS.
DISGUSTING. [laughs]
- BRANDI.
- THANK YOU FOR HAVING...
I DON'T... LIKE,
I'M SO GROSS RIGHT NOW.
I'M SO SORRY.
- OKAY, BYE.
- BYE... YOU DON'T...
- NO, OKAY.
- YOU DON'T WANT
ANY PART OF THIS. - [laughs]
- THE TWO OF US TOGETHER,
NIGHTMARE.
SHE HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK,
I WAS SICK TO MY STOMACH,
AND SO WE CALLED A CAB
AND GOT OUT.
- EVERYBODY, HELLO. HELLO.
SO AS YOU KNOW, TONIGHT IS
A SPECIAL NIGHT FOR KIMBERLY.
IT IS A NIGHT THAT WE'RE HERE
TO HONOR HER, HER SCHOOLING.
UM, I JUST WANT TO
TELL YOU, KIMBERLY,
HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU.
FROM THE MOMENT YOU WERE BORN,
YOU... WERE MAGIC.
YOU WERE SUPER SPECIAL.
I'M SO GRATEFUL
THAT YOU CHOSE ME
TO BE YOUR MOM.
UM, AND... I JUST WISH YOU
A SUPER HAPPY LIFE
IN YOUR NEW JOURNEY
AT YOUR SCHOOL,
AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY
THE SLIDESHOW
THAT YOUR SISTER
HAS PUT TOGETHER,
AND WE ALL LOVE YOU SO MUCH,
AND I'M SUPER PROUD.
- [laughs]
- YAY, HAPPY...
[all cheering] CONGRATULATIONS.
- KIMBERLY GOING
OFF TO COLLEGE NOW.
THAT'S SO WEIRD TO SAY.
[sobbing] IT'S SO GREAT,
BUT IT'S SO WEIRD.
SHE'S SO PRETTY AND SMART,
AND SHE'S JUST EVERYTHING.
NEVER BEEN MORE GRATEFUL
AND PROUD.
AND A LITTLE SCARED.
I'M GONNA LEARN HOW TO FOCUS
ON JUST KIM FOR A BIT.
[all cheering]
I'M REALLY PROUD OF YOU.
[cheers and applause]
announcer: COMING UP...
- I'M SURE THERE'S A LOT OF
THINGS KIM HASN'T TURNED UP FOR.
- THAT'S KIND OF
UNCALLED FOR, KEN,
DON'T YOU THINK? - NO.
- WELL, THIS TOP LOOKS LIKE
A BIT OF A MISMATCH, ISN'T IT?
SO LET'S GO THROUGH STUFF.
- THAT'S CUTE.
- IT'S QUITE NICE.
- MM-HMM.
- NOT FOR YOU.
- FOR ME. [laughs]
- NO.
- FOR ME, THIS MY SIZE. HMM?
- IF YOU DON'T LIKE PINK,
WE'RE IN TROUBLE.
- NO, I LIKE PINK.
- NO, I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU.
I'M TALKING ABOUT THEM.
- [laughs]
[dog barking]
KEN? WHAT?
- NO, RUMPY, RUMPY.
- NO, RUMPY. RUM...
RUMPY. - RUMPY, NO. RUM...
- YOUR DOGGIE'S SO WELL BEHAVED.
- WELL, HE WILL BE. NO, RUMPY.
- SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING, BABY?
- THIS GIRL CONTACTED ME,
EMAILED ME,
AND SHE SAID THAT SHE WORKS
WITH THIS FOSTER HOME,
AND THESE GIRLS HAVE NOTHING
AT ALL,
AND SO SHE SAID WOULD I
GIVE SOME OF MY OLD CLOTHES?
SO I SAID ABSOLUTELY.
BASICALLY, THEY NEED
WHATEVER WE CAN SEND THEM.
CLOSE TO MY HEART.
I ADOPTED MAX FROM FOSTER CARE,
SO I THINK IT WOULD BE JUST,
KIND OF, A SWEET THING TO DO.
THIS IS A QUITE NICE LONG DRESS.
DOES THIS LOOK TOO OLD
OR DO YOU THINK IT'S NICE?
- IT'S NICE.
- YOU KNOW WHAT? THEY...
SHE SAYS REALLY THAT THEY
HAVEN'T GOT MUCH AT ALL.
- MM-HMM.
- THAT'S KIND OF A PROM DRESS,
ISN'T IT? - YEAH, I WANT ONE.
- NO, YOU DON'T.
- ROCIO, YOU ARE NOT
AN UNDERPRIVILEGED GIRL.
- EXACTLY.
- YOU'RE VERY PRIVILEGED.
[phone dialing]
- HELLO?
- HEY, CARLTON, IT'S LISA.
- HI.
- ARE YOU GONNA COME BY
TOMORROW?
- I WOULD LOVE TO, YES.
- HAVE YOU GOT ANYTHING, LIKE,
THAT WOULD BE SUITABLE
FOR GIRLS TO WEAR TO THE PROM?
- WELL, I HAVE
A COUPLE OF DRESSES.
- I KNOW LOTS OF MY FRIENDS
HAVE GOT CLOTHES
SITTING IN THEIR CLOSET
THEY'RE NEVER GOING TO WEAR,
AND IT WOULD REALLY BENEFIT
THESE KIDS IN FOSTER CARE.
- HI, LISA. HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GOOD.
I'M GOING CRAZY TODAY.
- WHY? WHAT'S HAPPENING?
- I'M NERVOUS
BECAUSE I HAVE TO DO
THE ANTI-BULLYING THING, AND...
- YES. I DID THAT, YEAH.
- YEAH, YEAH,
YOU DID THE PICTURES.
I SAW YOUR PICTURE.
IT WAS WITH GIGGY.
IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
- WITH GIGGY, YEAH.
I DON'T KNOW
IF YOU'VE GOT ANYTHING
THAT YOU COULD BRING OVER
IN THE MORNING.
- I'LL COME BY
AND BRING YOU SOME STUFF.
- OKAY, IF IT'S MY SIZE,
I MIGHT KEEP IT.
- [laughs]
- OKAY, BYE-BYE.
- BYE.
[phone ringing] - HELLO?
- HEY. HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M OKAY. I'M WITH THE BOYS.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- TOMORROW, WHEN YOU COME,
SHOULD WE TRY TO AVOID
THE TIME THAT JOYCE IS HERE,
OR DO YOU WANT TO TALK TO HER?
- I WANT TO HAVE A CONVERSATION
WITH HER, TO BE HONEST.
I WAS GOING TO TRY TO DO IT
ONE-ON-ONE AND NOT...
I DON'T NEED
ANYONE ELSE INVOLVED.
I KIND OF JUST HAD A LITTLE
"COME TO JESUS" WITH MYSELF
AND SAID, "YOU KNOW WHAT?
BREAK IT DOWN."
LIKE, JUST GO IN THERE,
BE READY,
AND SAY YOUR PIECE
AND THEN WALK AWAY.
I REALLY DON'T WANT
TO RUIN ANYONE'S...
- YEAH. WELL, THERE'S...
THERE'S NOTHING TO RUIN HERE,
BUT I DON'T WANT
TO BLINDSIDE HER.
BRANDI AND JOYCE, THEY CAN
RESOLVE THEIR DIFFERENCES,
BUT BRING YOUR BLOODY PAGEANT
DRESSES, AND MINI DRESSES,
AND ANYTHING ELSE YOU'VE GOT
AND LET'S REMEMBER
WHAT'S IMPORTANT HERE.
- NO, NO, NO. IT'S...
LITERALLY A CONVERSATION.
IT'S NOT LIKE THERE'LL BE
SCREAMING AND YELLING.
I HAVE A FEW THINGS I NEED
TO SAY TO HER,
AND THEN I'LL BE DONE. - OKAY.
MM.
I'M NOT SURE I'M BUYING THAT.
OKAY, BYE. - ALL RIGHT, BYE.
- [sighs]
- OH, THERE SHE IS.
- HEY, GUYS.
Both: HEY! I'M READY.
- LOOK AT YOU, BEAUTIFUL.
- I'M READY.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR DOING THIS.
- I KNOW.
- YOU LOOK GORGEOUS.
- FOR YOU GUYS.
- OH.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH.
- FRIEND MOVEMENT
IS A BEAUTIFUL ORGANIZATION
THAT IS AN ANTI-BULLYING
CAMPAIGN,
AND I GOT INVOLVED
BECAUSE THEY ASKED ME
IF I WOULD BE ONE OF THEIR
SPOKESPEOPLE FOR THE CAMPAIGN.
THEY KNEW MY EXPERIENCE, THAT I
HAD BEEN BULLIED IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I FEEL LIKE WE ALL HAVE TO WORK
TOGETHER AND TRY TO CUT THIS,
SO THAT OUR KIDS DON'T
SUFFER SO MUCH.
- ALL RIGHT, BEAUTIFUL,
YOU ARE ALL SET.
- WE'RE GOOD?
- YEAH.
- OKAY, SO, LIKE, WHEN YOU'RE
GONNA GIVE THE FINGER,
IT'S GONNA GO JUST LIKE THIS.
- HIDE THE OTHERS?
LIKE THIS?
- YEAH, AND IT'S REALLY STRONG,
AND IT'S LIKE,
IF SOMEONE YOU CARED ABOUT
WAS BEING BULLIED.
JUST, LIKE, STRONG AND TOUGH.
- IT'S FOR MYSELF.
- IT'S FOR YOU.
IT'S ABOUT BEING SELF-EMPOWERED.
- FOR ME AND FOR MY FRIENDS.
- IT'S BASICALLY LIKE YOU
ARE JUST FLICKING BULLYING OFF,
AND TELLING EVERYBODY,
"HEY, WE WANT YOU TO STOP
BEING A BULLY
AND START BEING A FRIEND."
- WHEN SOMEONE CALLS YOU
A FATTY, OR A FREAK,
OR A RACIAL NAME, WE...
- OR THEY CALL YOU
"SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALL..."
- SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALL?
- BECAUSE MY BODY IS LITTLE
AND MY HEAD IS BIG.
OR "OLIVE OIL."
- SO WE WANT... WE WANT THEM...
- OR "HOY-SAY."
- WHEN SOMEONE ATTACKS YOU
VERBALLY, WE WANT YOU...
- I'M GONNA GIVE THE "F"
TO ALL THOSE BULLIES
THAT BULLIED ME.
- I KNOW YOU ARE.
- [laughs]
I KNOW YOU ARE. LET'S DO THIS.
- YES, IT'S LIKE, "F."
- RIGHT HAND.
- OKAY. THUMB OUT, NICE.
BRING IT OVER A LITTLE BIT.
BRING IT IN JUST A LITTLE BIT.
NICE.
- OH, MY GOD.
- MEAN.
- YES.
- YOU LOOK SO HOT.
- SMOKING.
NO BULLY SHOULD MESS WITH YOU.
[laughs]
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING RIGHT NOW?
- I'M THINKING, "[bleep] YOU"
TO ALL THOSE BULLIES.
I PERSONALLY THINK
THAT BULLYING IS JUST A FORM
OF CALLING FOR ATTENTION.
- JOYCE IS A BIG, FAT PIG.
- [laughs]
- BRANDI NEEDS TO STOP CALLING
OUT FOR SO MUCH ATTENTION.
START ACTING LIKE A LADY
AND GROW UP.
- COOL.
- I THINK WE HAVE THAT.
- I THINK WE GOT... YOU GOT IT.
- WE GOT IT.
- WHOO. THANK YOU, JOY.
- THANK YOU.
- PERFECT.
- YOU LIKE THOSE?
- OH, I WOULDN'T CUT IT
LIKE THAT.
IS THAT ALL OF THEM?
I'VE ACTUALLY DECIDED
TO INVITE ALL THE LADIES
OVER AT BREAKFAST TIME.
I THINK IT'S
A KIND OF CIVILIZED HOUR.
NOTHING CAN GO WRONG.
OKAY, THIS IS GORGEOUS.
- HELLO.
- HI.
- OH, FINE. I'LL TAKE IT.
- [laughs]
PERFECT. WHAT SIZE IS IT?
- I BROUGHT YOU CUPCAKES.
- OH, THANK YOU.
- YOU'RE HAVING A LITTLE TEA.
LOOK.
SO I BROUGHT...
THIS IS A VERY SIMPLE ONE.
- ALL RIGHT.
- COCKTAIL.
- OKAY, PERFECT.
COME OUT THE BACK.
- LET ME SEE THIS PINK ONE.
OH, MY GOD.
- JOYCE, STEP AWAY
FROM THE CLOTHES RACK.
- YOU KNOW ME,
I'M A TOTAL FASHIONISTA.
- HELLO. HI!
- HELLO. HOW ARE YOU?
- HI.
- YOU LOOK GREAT.
- THANK YOU. HOW ARE YOU?
- OKAY, GOOD.
GREAT.
I'VE GOT MORE IN A BIG BAG IN...
I'LL GO THROUGH.
I GOT MORE, BUT THESE ARE
JUST THE ONES I GRABBED.
- OKAY, PERFECT.
THANK YOU, DARLING.
- YOU'RE WELCOME.
YEAH, YOU LIKE? - COME IN, YEAH.
JOYCE IS HERE. - [growls]
LISA, I'M GOING TO BRING MORE.
THAT'S JUST... I WAS RUSHING OUT...
- COME SIT DOWN AND RELAX,
DARLING.
- THE GRADUATION,
KIMBERLY'S GRADUATION,
WHICH, BY THE WAY,
YOU DIDN'T MAKE.
- I WAS IN MISSOURI
WITH CHILDREN...
- YOU WERE NOT, YOU WERE AT SUR.
- I WAS NOT. I WAS IN MISSOURI.
- YES YOU WERE.
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW WHAT...
- I WAS IN MISSOURI
THIS WEEKEND.
- NO, MY HAIRDRESSER
SAW YOU AT SUR, HAVING DINNER.
- WELL, THAT'S WEIRD.
I WAS IN MISSOURI.
- HI, BABE.
- MY HAIRDRESSER SAW YOU AT SUR.
- I'VE BEEN IN MISSOURI
ALL WEEKEND.
- MY HAIRDRESSER SAW YOU AT SUR.
- WELL, YOUR HAIRDRESSER'S
DREAMING.
- IT WASN'T AN EASY WEEKEND.
GIGGY, KEN, AND I
WENT TO MISSOURI
TO SUPPORT CHILDREN
WITH ALOPECIA.
IT WAS A LONG WAY,
IT WAS QUITE AN ARDUOUS TRIP,
BUT GIGGY IS COMMITTED TO THAT,
SO, OF COURSE,
I'M GIGGY'S CARRIER,
I HAD TO TAKE HIM.
- SHE SAW YOU AT SUR THAT NIGHT.
- I'M NOT GETTING UP TO SAY HI,
BECAUSE I HAVE GIGGY.
- SHE SAID, "I THOUGHT
I SAW LISA HAVING DINNER
AT SUR."
- I WAS IN MISSOURI,
I PROMISE YOU.
- I LOVE YOUR DRESS.
IT'S VERY SEXY.
- OH, MAYBE I CAME BACK
SATURDAY NIGHT.
- YEAH.
- YEAH.
- [laughs] OH, NOW YOU REMEMBER,
NOW THAT MY HAIRDRESSER
SAW YOU, YOU REMEMBER.
ALL SHE HAD TO SAY WAS,
"SO SORRY, DARLING.
WE COULDN'T ATTEND.
YOU KNOW, WE WERE BUSY."
- THAT'S US IN MISSOURI.
- WHAT... WHEN WAS IT?
- IT WAS SATURDAY NIGHT.
I TOLD YOU IT WAS SATURDAY.
- OH, NO, I TOTALLY
DIDN'T EVEN THINK.
- IT WAS FOR KIDS WITH ALOPECIA.
- THAT WAS THE DAY BEFORE.
SHE SAW YOU HAVING...
- I THOUGHT HER GRADUATION
WAS ON SATURDAY DAYTIME.
- THAT'S GORGEOUS.
- NO, I TOLD YOU
IT WAS SATURDAY NIGHT.
TO JUST MAKE UP A LIE,
AND TO SAY SHE'S AWAY,
IT BOTHERED ME.
- DARLING, I DIDN'T EVEN THINK,
AND IN FACT, I CHANGED MY TICKET
FROM 6:00 TILL 2:00, DIDN'T I?
WHAT TIME DID WE GET BACK?
WE CAUGHT THE 2:00 FLIGHT.
- IT WAS EARLY ENOUGH, BECAUSE
SHE SAW YOU GUYS HAVING DINNER.
- I SWEAR TO YOU
I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE
ON THE 6:00 FLIGHT.
- BUT IF YOU MADE IT BACK,
YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID,
"I'M PACKED IN."
- I DIDN'T EVEN THINK.
I LITERALLY GOT BACK...
IT WAS EXHAUSTING.
WE GOT UP AT 4:00 TO DO THIS,
YOU KNOW, 3-MILE MARCH,
OR WHATEVER,
CHANGED OUR FLIGHTS,
LEFT EARLY. [dog barks]
- THAT'S RIGHT. GIGGY,
GIVE IT TO HER.
- [laughs]
- I PROMISE YOU,
IT JUST TOTALLY
WENT OUT OF MY MIND,
AND I THOUGHT,
"I'VE GOT TO LEAVE EARLY."
TOOK THE 2:00 FLIGHT.
WHAT TIME DID WE GET BACK?
WE WOULD HAVE BEEN BACK ABOUT...
- 8:00.
- YEAH, 8:00.
I REALLY DON'T WANT
TO GET INTO IT WITH HER.
I TOLD HER I WASN'T GOING
AND I DIDN'T GO. END OF STORY.
- IT WAS FUN.
- BRANDI WENT?
- STUFF, IT WAS FUN.
- YEAH, BRANDI, CARLTON,
YOLANDA WAS OUT OF TOWN.
- CARLTON WENT?
- YEAH.
- EVERYBODY.
- IT WAS FUN.
- EVERYBODY BUT LISA.
[dog barks]
- IT DIDN'T LOOK GOOD.
- I'M SURE THERE'S
A LOT OF THINGS
KIM HASN'T TURNED UP FOR.
YOU KNOW, IT WAS
ONE OF THOSE THINGS.
- NO, BUT I WOULDN'T
NOT TURN UP.
I DIDN'T THINK I WAS GOING.
[doorbell ringing]
- IT'S OKAY.
- OKAY, SAVED BY THE BELL.
- [laughs]
- SOMEBODY'S AT THE DOOR.
- ANYWAY, IT WAS REALLY FUN
THE OTHER NIGHT.
I HAD A GOOD TIME.
- THAT'S KIND OF UNCALLED FOR,
KEN, BY THE WAY.
- NO, I'M JUST...
- THAT WAS NOT REALLY VERY NICE,
WHAT YOU JUST SAID.
- REALLY?
- YEAH, THAT REALLY WASN'T
VERY NICE.
- I WAS PROTECTING MY WIFE.
- THAT WASN'T VERY NICE,
ACTUALLY.
- WHATEVER YOU THINK.
- HE'S RIGHT, I DID MISS THINGS.
I DID MISS...
I MISSED A LOT.
THAT WAS REALLY UNCALLED FOR.
- OKAY, I'M SORRY.
- DON'T YOU THINK?
- NO.
- BUT DON'T THROW [bleep]
IN MY FACE
ABOUT STUFF
THAT I REALLY DON'T FEEL
I EVEN HAD A CHOICE OF
A COUPLE YEARS AGO.
I DIDN'T EVEN...
YOU DON'T WANT TO COME
TO KIMBERLY'S GRADUATION,
ALL THEY HAD TO DO WAS SAY,
"HEY, WE'RE BUSY."
I THINK IT WAS RUDE,
AND I THINK IT WAS UNCALLED FOR.
- OH, STOP IT, KIM.
Announcer: COMING UP...
- BRANDI, I WAS BULLIED
IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I KNOW WHAT A BULLY IS.
- BEING A BULLY... LISTEN.
I'M NOT A BULLY.
IF I WAS A BULLY,
I WOULD HAVE KNOCKED
YOUR [bleep] TEETH OUT BY NOW.
- KNOCK, KNOCK!
HELLO! - HEY, I'M HERE.
- CAN I COME UP
OR ARE YOU COMING DOWN?
- NO, I'M COMING DOWN.
- I ALMOST WORE A PINK SHIRT
AND WHITE JEANS.
I'M NOT JOKING. [laughs]
- I WOULDN'T MIND.
- NO, BUT THEN I THOUGHT,
"I CAN'T GO TO VILLA ROSA
IN PINK AGAIN."
- YOU KNOW I WAS IN MISSOURI...
YOU KNOW I WAS IN MISSOURI
ALL WEEKEND.
- WHY?
- I JUST GOT BUSTED BY KIM
BECAUSE I CHANGED MY FLIGHT
AND CAME BACK EARLIER.
SHE'S JUST LIKE,
"OH, WHY DIDN'T YOU COME
TO MY DAUGHTER'S GRADUATION?"
I SAID, "WELL, I COULDN'T COME.
I WAS IN MISSOURI ALL WEEKEND."
SHE SAID, "NO YOU WEREN'T.
YOU WERE HAVING DINNER AT SUR."
AND I THOUGHT, "WAS I?"
KIM ALWAYS THROWS ME OFF.
IT'S LIKE, YES, I COULDN'T MAKE
YOUR DAUGHTER'S GRADUATION.
I SENT HER A NICE TIFFANY GIFT.
I RSVP'D TWO WEEKS BEFORE
SAYING I COULDN'T MAKE IT.
IT'S LIKE,
GIVE ME A BREAK, REALLY.
- ALL RIGHT, THIS IS...
LOOK HOW CUTE.
THIS IS MY WEDDING DRESS,
BY THE WAY.
- YOUR WEDDING DRESS?
- IT'S BADGLEY MISCHKA.
- THIS IS YOUR WEDDING DRESS?
- I WORE IT... THE SECOND ONE
I CHANGED INTO AFTER MY GOWN.
- OH, IT'S...
I'LL TAKE IT. [laughs]
- YOU MIGHT WANT TO KEEP IT.
- THANK YOU FOR STAYING SO LONG.
THANK YOU FOR COMING
AND STAYING AS LONG AS YOU DID.
I KNOW YOU WANTED
TO GET HOME TO YOUR HUBBY.
- IT WAS FUN. NO, IT WAS FUN.
IT WAS FUN.
- IT WAS REALLY AWESOME.
- IT WAS FUN.
DID YOU SEE THE... YOUR TUNIC?
THAT I GOT YOU?
- OH, YES, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
- DO YOU LIKE IT?
- COME ON, ROXIE.
- YOU'RE RUNNING. WHY?
- [chuckles]
- YOU DON'T WANT TO BE HERE.
I NEED YOU TO PACK THE BOXES.
- I'LL PACK THE BOXES LATER.
- OH, COME ON.
- I'VE GOT TO GO.
I'LL JUST GO WITH THE, UM...
- NO, JUST STAY, OKAY?
- I'M GOING.
- STAY. I NEED YOU
TO KEEP BRANDI OCCUPIED
OVER THERE. TRUST ME.
- I'VE ALREADY HAD WORDS
WITH KIM.
- YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
FOR KIM TO SUDDENLY
START MAKING A BIG DEAL
ABOUT US NOT GOING
TO KIMBERLY'S PARTY,
WHEN WE'D ACTUALLY REPLIED,
AND BOUGHT KIMBERLY A PRESENT,
I MIGHT ADD.
WE WERE WORKING ALL WEEKEND
WITH THE LITTLE KIDS,
AND THAT WAS IT. - I KNOW.
- I MEAN, IT'S UNREAL.
DON'T THANK US A THANK YOU NOTE.
DON'T BOTHER ABOUT THAT.
CAN I GO? - NO, JUST STAY.
- OH. WHERE'S THE BOXING GLOVES?
- HELLO, KIMBERLY.
- HI, GIRL. HOW'S YOU?
- HI, JOYCE.
- HELLO.
- PRETTY GOOD, THANK YOU. MM.
- LONG TIME NO SEE. [laughs]
- I KNOW, RIGHT?
- I FEEL LIKE I'M SEEING YOU...
I JUST SAID THAT OUTSIDE.
I GO, "I FEEL LIKE
I SEE KIM EVERYWHERE."
- I SEE YOU A LOT.
- I'M GONNA GIVE THIS PURSE
TO HER, EXCUSE ME.
I'M NOT NERVOUS
ABOUT TALKING TO JOYCE,
BUT THE CONVERSATION
THAT I WANT TO HAVE WITH JOYCE
DOES NOT INVOLVE ANYONE
BUT HER AND I.
- NO. HEY, WHERE YOU GOING?
LOOK. NO. NO. NO.
- WHAT'S HIS NAME?
- "ROXIE."
- ROXIE. ROXIE ATE THE RABBIT.
- [whistling]
- YOU BROUGHT A ANIMAL-EATING
CRITTER WITH YOU?
- I DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE.
- YOU BROUGHT AN ANIMAL-EATING...
- I KNEW I WAS SAFE HERE.
- SHE ATE THE RABBIT, RIGHT?
- WELL.
- GIGGY'S THE SAME SIZE
AS A RABBIT.
GIGGY, GET OUT OF HERE.
- SHE HUNTS SOMETIMES.
ROXIE, HER INSTINCT IS TO GO
AFTER OTHER ANIMALS AT TIMES.
SHE ATE A BUNNY.
WE WERE DEVASTATED BY THIS,
BUT SHE'S AN ANIMAL.
YOU CAN'T CONTROL THAT.
- YOU'RE LIKE, "GIGGY,
GET OUT OF HERE!" [laughs]
- HI.
- HEY, PRETTY.
- WELL, YOU'RE NOT MUCH BIGGER
THAN A RABBIT.
SHE ATE A RABBIT
THAT'S THE SAME SIZE AS GIGGY.
- I DON'T THINK HE LOOKS
VERY DANGEROUS.
- MWAH.
- PUT GIGGY IN YOUR OFFICE.
- NO, NO. NO.
SHE'S NOT GOING TO EAT GIGGY.
- YES, SHE ATE...
GIGGY'S ABOUT THE SAME SIZE
AS A RABBIT.
SO SUDDENLY SHE SHOWS UP
WITH ROXIE.
I'M LIKE, "OH, GOD. HOLY COW."
- WHAT DO YOU THINK SHE IS,
A WOLF?
- [laughs]
SHE'S GONNA EAT GIGGY.
- GIGGY, ROXIE.
I MEAN, THERE'S KIND OF
A BIG DIFFERENCE HERE.
- GIGGY DOESN'T EVEN
WALK AROUND.
- LISA, STOP, STOP.
- I'M COMING HERE TO BE NICE.
YOU BRING YOUR DOG
TO MY HOUSE EVERY DAY.
GIGGY SITS AT EVERY TABLE
WITH US, EVERYWHERE WE GO,
AND DRINKS OUT OF GOBLETS.
- OH, SH...
- [laughs]
- GIVE BE A FLIPPING BREAK.
- ROXIE, WANT TO GO
INTO THE GARDEN?
[laughter]
- OH, GIRL, I HEARD THAT.
- WELL, THAT'S GOOD, 'CAUSE I
WANTED TO TALK TO JOYCE ANYWAY.
JOYCE, THERE'S A FEW THINGS
I WOULD LIKE TO SAY TO YOU,
AND IF YOU WOULD ALLOW ME
TO TALK BEFORE YOU SPEAK,
I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT.
- WE DON'T NEED TO GET
INVOLVED IN THIS.
- FIRST OF ALL,
I WOULD LIKE TO SAY
THAT I MAY SAY STUPID THINGS
SOMETIMES, BUT I'M NOT A RACIST.
SECOND, I MAY HAVE BEEN A BITCH
TO YOU IN PALM SPRINGS,
BUT I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE
BEEN A BULLY.
AND, LASTLY,
TO SAY I'M AN ALCOHOLIC
BECAUSE I GOT DRUNK
ON VACATION, JUST NOT TRUE.
SO... THAT'S REALLY IT.
- CAN I SPEAK NOW?
- SURE.
- FIRST OF ALL,
I'M NOT SAYING YOU'RE A RACIST.
THAT WAS A RACIST COMMENT,
WHAT YOU SAID,
AND YOU HAVE TO ADMIT IT.
- IT WAS A STUPID COMMENT.
- WE'RE NOT GETTING INVOLVED.
JUST GET OVER HERE!
- I'M NOT GETTING INVOLVED,
I'M LISTENING.
THAT'S DIFFERENT
THAN GETTING INVOLVED.
- EVERYONE THAT KNOWS ME
KNOWS I SAY STUPID STUFF
ALL OF THE TIME.
- OKAY, I LET IT GO,
BUT I'M THINKING TO MYSELF,
"OKAY, I'M TRYING
TO GET TO KNOW THIS GIRL.
SHE SAYS RACIAL REMARKS.
THEN SHE CALLS ME..."
- OH, ONE. ONE TIME.
- IS IT GOING WELL, OR NOT?
- WELL, IF YOU WOULD SHUT UP
FOR A SECOND SO I COULD HEAR,
MAYBE I WOULD KNOW.
- OH, SO YOU'RE BLACK
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T SWIM?
I MEAN, THAT'S A RACIAL REMARK.
- THAT'S NOT
EXACTLY WHAT I SAID.
- I CAN'T SWIM.
- YOU'RE A BLACK PERSON.
- ACTUALLY I AM.
I AM A BLACK PERSON...
- GREAT. OKAY.
- BECAUSE IF YOU KNOW
THE HISTORY OF PUERTO RICANS...
- WELL, THEN I'M SORRY
IF I HAVE OFFENDED YOU.
- APOLOGY ACCEPTED.
- MY EX-HUSBAND... IT'S NOT A...
- WE DON'T NEED TO...
APOLOGY ACCEPTED.
- THERE'S NOTHING RACIST
ABOUT ME.
- THAT'S ALL I NEEDED TO HEAR.
APOLOGY ACCEPTED.
- GREAT.
- NEXT SUBJECT.
- HUH?
- AWKWARD.
- YOU DON'T GO TO SOMEBODY
THAT IS HOSTING YOU...
YOU DON'T SAY,
"JOYCE IS A BIG, FAT PIG."
- JOYCE, YOU'VE BEEN AROUND ME
A HANDFUL OF TIMES IN YOUR LIFE.
- DO YOU WANT ME TO SPEAK?
BECAUSE I GAVE YOU...
I GAVE YOU YOUR MOMENT TO SPEAK.
- JOYCE SPEAKS AT YOU,
NOT TO YOU,
AND SHE DOESN'T HEAR YOU
WHEN YOU SPEAK TO HER.
EVERY TIME.
YES, PLEASE SPEAK,
BUT PLEASE UNDERSTAND...
- I GAVE YOU YOUR MOMENT
TO SPEAK, SO I'M JUST...
I JUST WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND
WHERE I'M COMING FROM.
- WHEN YOU THROW OUT
THESE LABELS,
THEY COULD AFFECT MY CUSTODY
OF MY CHILDREN,
AND THAT IS A BIG DEAL.
- BUT, THEY NEED TO...
- QUIT TALKING, I WANT TO HEAR.
- WHY?
- BECAUSE THEN, BY THE TIME
THE STORY COMES BACK TO ME,
I WILL HAVE HEARD IT MYSELF
INSTEAD OF THE THREE DIFFERENT
VARIATIONS I NORMALLY GET.
IF HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF,
THIS IS GOING TO BE
A BIG STORY LATER,
AND THEY'RE GONNA SAY,
"BUT SHE SAID, AND SHE SAID,"
AND NOW I CAN SAY,
"WELL, I KNOW, BECAUSE I HEARD."
- YOU DON'T NEED TO EVEN HAVE
AN OPINION ON THIS.
- THERE'S MANY MORE THINGS
THAT I WANT TO SAY.
- YOU MET ME FIVE TIMES,
FIVE TIMES.
- CAN I CONTINUE TELLING YOU?
YOU'VE BEEN DESPICABLE.
- OH.
- DESPICABLE.
AT YOLANDA'S DINNER,
WHEN I WAS SPEAKING SPANISH
BECAUSE DAVID ASKED ME
TO MAKE A TOAST...
[speaking Spanish]
- I PREFER ENGLISH,
'CAUSE I DON'T... LIKE, I MEAN...
IT'S HARD ENOUGH UNDERSTANDING
ENGLISH RIGHT NOW.
- I MEAN. COME ON.
WHEN I TELL YOU
I WAS BULLIED IN HIGH SCHOOL...
- IT'S ME BEING A BITCH.
- YOU KNOW HOW WE ALWAYS SAY...
[British accent]
"OH, THERE'S YOUR... HER STORY,
YOUR STORY, AND THE TRUTH."
- WE DON'T SAY...
[exaggerated British accent]
"OH, THERE'S YOUR STORY,
HER STORY, AND THE TRUTH."
- [laughs]
THERE'S THREE SIDES.
- BUGGER OFF NOW.
- LET'S JUST AGREE.
I DON'T LIKE YOU,
YOU DON'T LIKE ME,
AND THAT'S FINE.
- I DON'T NEED TO LIKE YOU,
AND I'M NOT A $100 BILL
THAT YOU NEED TO LIKE.
- EXACTLY, SO STOP...
- WAIT, 32D?
- YEAH.
- YOUR TAG OF YOUR BRA IS...
- OH, RIGHT.
- WHO KNEW YOU WERE A "D"?
- YEAH. I AM.
THESE ARE A "D," YEAH - A "D"?
- STOP MESSING WITH ME.
- I DON'T.
- STOP MESSING WITH ME.
YOU'RE SAYING
YOU NEVER BULLIED ME.
I WAS BULLIED IN HIGH SCHOOL,
I KNOW...
- I'M NOT A BULLY.
IF I WAS A BULLY,
I WOULD HAVE KNOCKED
YOUR [bleep] TEETH OUT BY NOW.
- OH.
KNOCK YOUR TEETH OUT
IF YOU WERE A BULLY?
NO. THAT'S NOT THE WAY
TO GO ABOUT IT.
- I DON'T HAVE SYMPATHY
FOR IT IF YOU DON'T TAKE
RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS.
- I DON'T CARE
IF YOU HAVE SYMPATHY
FOR ANY PART OF ME,
BUT WHEN YOU LABEL ME
THESE HORRIBLE THINGS...
- OH, [bleep] THIS.
- I DO, I THINK THAT
PALM SPRINGS WAS A LITTLE...
WAS DEFINITELY NOT... - A LITTLE?
- LET'S JUST SORT
THESE CLOTHES OUT. KYLE?
- DID YOU SAY YOU'RE SORRY
FOR PALM SPRINGS?
- I'M... I'M NOT, NO.
- YOU DON'T...
THERE'S NO SORRY?
- SHE'S NOT SORRY.
- YOU DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR MAYBE
SOME OF THE THINGS YOU SAID?
- I MEAN,
I HAVEN'T GOTTEN AN APOLOGY,
SO I DON'T FEEL LIKE
I NEED TO GIVE ONE EITHER.
- CARLTON.
- HELLO.
- COME FOR A NICE,
RELAXING AFTERNOON.
GO AND JOIN THEM OVER THERE.
- REALLY?
INTO THE FRAY, RIGHT?
- [laughs] I'M JOKING.
STAY HERE WITH US.
IT'S MUCH SAFER HERE.
- THIS IS GREAT.
- REALLY?
- YES.
- OKAY, I'LL TAKE THAT ONE
ON THE FRONT. - I KNOW, RIGHT?
- IF SOMEONE'S VICIOUSLY
ATTACKING ME A MILLION TIMES,
I DON'T FEEL I NEED
TO APOLOGIZE, I FEEL...
- HI.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD, BABY. HOW ARE YOU?
- OH, YOU LOOK PRETTY.
- YOU'RE LIKE,
"WELL, HELLO THERE."
- WELL, NO, I WAS... I'M LIKE,
"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?"
- YES, EXACTLY.
- COME ON. SOMEBODY
COME AND HELP ME WITH THE BOXES.
- [laughs]
- LET'S REMEMBER WHY WE'RE HERE.
- I'LL COME AND HELP YOU,
'CAUSE I'M DONE.
I'M DONE.
Announcer: COMING UP...
- BUT I CAN GIVE YOU A HUG,
AND I CAN MOVE ON.
- DON'T TOUCH ME!
EW! LIKE, DON'T COME NEAR ME!
- LET'S GET WET
AND RUN THROUGH LISA'S HOUSE.
COME ON, ROXIE. LISA?
- OH, I HAVE GOT TO PUSH YOU
IN THERE.
- I WILL KILL YOU.
- [laughs]
- I SWEAR TO GOD, LISA,
I WILL KILL YOU.
- [laughs]
- I WILL KILL YOU.
I WILL KILL YOU.
OH, MY GOD! YOU'RE SO...
- OH!
- OH, MY GOD.
THIS IS MY OUTFIT! - AH!
YOU'RE SO CHILDISH, KYLE.
- I'M SO CONFUSED.
I DIDN'T THINK LISA AND KYLE
WERE ON SUCH GOOD TERMS.
- [laughs]
- BACK ON, BACK OFF.
BACK ON, BACK OFF.
- SO CHILDISH.
- [laughs]
OH, MY GOD, NO! MY HAIR!
- LISA, YOUR PANTS
ARE SEE-THROUGH.
[laughter] HA HA.
- WHAT ABOUT THIS?
ROBERTO CAVALLI.
- OH, THAT IS CUTE! OH!
- I LIKE THAT DRESS.
- JOYCE, THIS IS FOR YOU.
- OKAY, THAT IS SO ME.
I LOVE THAT.
- AND THERE'S A CROSS ON IT.
IT'S FOR CARLTON.
- LISTEN,
SO YOU'RE AT A STALEMATE.
IF YOU'RE SAYING YOU'RE WAITING
FOR AN APOLOGY FROM HER,
SHE'S CLEARLY NOT GONNA GIVE IT,
AND SHE'S WAITING FOR IT
FROM YOU.
THEN WHAT DO WE DO?
WE DO THIS EVERY TIME?
- BUT, LISA...
- LISA, IN PALM SPRINGS,
SHE NEVER EVEN
SPOKE UP FOR HERSELF ONCE.
- RIGHT, I AGREE, LOVE.
- SO LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION.
KNOWING THAT SHE WAS
RUDE TO YOU IN PALM SPRINGS
BY CALLING YOU "JACQUELINE"
HOWEVER MANY TIMES...
- AND AT YOLANDA'S,
WHICH YOU WEREN'T THERE.
- KIM, WILL YOU ORGANIZE HERE?
I'VE GOT ANXIETY.
- YOU'RE USING
A LOT OF BLOODY LABELS,
AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT...
THE WAY YOU OPERATE.
- I KNOW YOU WANT TO COME
AND DEFEND HER.
I'M GONNA GIVE YOU... I'M GONNA
TELL YOU THE WAY I OPERATE.
- LOOK, WE ALL KNOW
YOU'RE NOT A RACIST.
WE ALL KNOW IT WAS
A STUPID REMARK.
- SORRY, YOU CAN'T JUSTIFY
PUTTING LABELS ON PEOPLE,
NOT EVEN KNOWING HER. - NO.
- BY THE WAY,
YOU ARE IN NO POSITION
TO PUT THAT KIND OF LABEL
ON ANYBODY.
- SHE'S IN NO POSITION
TO BE RUDE TO ME.
SHE'S IN NO POSITION
TO ATTACK ME.
- BUT YOU CAN'T CALL HER
BI-POLAR.
- SHE'S IN NO POSITION
TO CALL ME A BIG, FAT PIG.
"JOYCE IS A BIG FAT PIG."
- YEAH, BECAUSE YOU REALLY...
SHE'S IN NO POSITION TO CALL ME
"JACQUELINE."
SHE'S IN NO POSITION
TO CALL ME "JOY-SAY."
- OKAY.
SHE'S IN NO POSITION TO SAY...
- "BL-BL-BL-BL-BL."
AND THIS IS ALL I'M HEARING,
"BL-BL-BL-BL-BL."
I'M WATCHING THE MOUTH,
AND I'M LIKE,
"[bleep] HELL, STOP."
- I HAD A CONVERSATION WITH HER,
THE ONLY TIME I GOT A WORD IN
WAS WHEN SHE TOOK A BREATH.
- [laughs]
I SCREW UP EVERY DAY, PROBABLY.
I SAY THINGS I SHOULDN'T SAY,
I DO THINGS I SHOULDN'T DO.
IT'S JUST WHO I AM.
I'M NORMAL, I MAKE MISTAKES,
I'M NOT PERFECT.
AND I'M NOT SORRY. I'M SORRY...
- BUT SHE WAS RETALIATING
OVER YOU KIND OF
TREATING HER POORLY
IN PALM SPRINGS.
- THAT'S GREAT,
AND I WAS RETALIATING
OVER WHAT SHE PULLED
AT THE THOMPSON.
- LISA CAN GIVE CRITICISM,
BUT SHE DOESN'T TAKE IT.
- THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID.
- YES IT WAS.
- WHEN HAVE I GIVEN CRITICISM
TO ANYONE? - OH, WOW. OKAY.
- OKAY, SO CAN YOU JUST
KIND OF END IT LIKE THAT?
- YES, SURE.
YOU CANNOT WIN WITH THIS PERSON.
YOU JUST CAN'T.
IT'S LIKE, YOU CAN'T FIGHT
WITH CRAZY, SO JUST GIVE IT UP.
- JOYCE.
- WE CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE.
- I'M SORRY FOR WHAT I SAID
TO YOU IN PALM SPRINGS,
CALLING YOU "JACQUELINE,"
OR WHATEVER I SAID.
I AM NONE OF THE THINGS
THAT YOU'VE LABELED ME.
I THINK IT'S INCREDIBLY RUDE
AND JUDGMENTAL
FOR YOU TO DO THAT.
MOVING FORWARD,
I WILL BE KIND TO YOU,
AND NOT CALL YOU
ANY OTHER NAME THAN "JOYCE."
- I'M SORRY IF I HURT YOU,
CALLING YOU THE THINGS
THAT I CALLED YOU,
BECAUSE I AM WOMAN ENOUGH
TO ACCEPT MY MISTAKES.
ON MY END, THE ISSUE
WITH BRANDI IS OVER FOR GOOD.
I HOPE THAT ON HER END,
IT'S NOT JUST A BAND-AID,
AND I HOPE
SHE CAN REALLY STOP BEING
THE MEAN BRANDI
THAT I'VE KNOWN SO FAR.
- YAY.
- RESOLUTION.
- NO BEING CYNICAL, BUT I CAN
GIVE YOU A HUG, AND MOVE ON.
- DON'T TOUCH ME! EW!
LIKE, DON'T COME NEAR ME!
WE CAN AGREE TO DISAGREE,
BUT WE DON'T HAVE TO HUG.
NOW LET'S HAVE
SOME SHOTS OF TEQUILA.
[laughter]
announcer: NEXT TIME,
ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES
OF BEVERLY HILLS...
- I'M GOING TO SACRAMENTO.
I HAVE A BOOK SIGNING THERE.
- WHO STAYED HERE
THAT WE WOULD KNOW?
BARACK OBAMA?
- NO. MR. SCHWARZENEGGER.
- EW! GET OUT OF BED!
- AH!
- WOW.
- WHOO!
- THAT'S PUSSY POWER.
- NOW WE'RE TALKING!
- LIKE THAT?
- YEAH, SO RIGHT NOW...
CAN YOU HEAR MY VOICE?
- HE'S TAPPING! HE'S TAPPING!
LET GO!
- I THINK I ALMOST
STRANGLED HIM. [laughs]
[women yelling]
- KIM, DO NOT KICK ME
IN THE PENIS, IT HURTS.
- OH.
[laughter]
- SHE'S LAUGHING AT YOU.
All: OH!
- I JUST WANT TO LIVE
A NORMAL LIFE.
MY FAMILY'S, LIKE,
FALLING [bleep] APART, AND...
- SNAP OUT OF IT. HUH?
- I'M FINE.
- "I'M FINE" DOESN'T WORK
WITH ME. - I'M FINE.
SHE'S ALWAYS MOMMY-ING ME.
- LISA.
Announcer: TO LEARN MORE
ABOUT THE HOUSEWIVES,