The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2010–…): Season 2, Episode 4 - Gossip Girls - full transcript

- PREVIOUSLY ON THE REAL
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...

- YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE
WHO I JUST SAW.

CEDRIC PULLS HIS BIKE UP
RIGHT NEXT TO ME.

- YOU LIE.

- I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM

SINCE EVERYTHING EXPLODED
BETWEEN HE AND LISA.

- OH, MY GOD.

- I FEEL LIKE I'M BREAKING.

- YOU'RE HAVING
A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN.

I CAN SEE IT.
- I SEE VERY CLEARLY

THAT TAYLOR IS IN NEED OF HELP
RIGHT NOW.



- THIS IS MY TEAM.
THIS IS MY LAST GAME.

I WANT TO SEE MY TEAM PLAY.

WE'RE THINKING
ABOUT HAVING TO MOVE

THE SACRAMENTO KINGS
TO ANOTHER CITY.

WHAT'S THE PURPOSE OF HIDING?

WHY HIDE?

- IT'S DANGEROUS. DON'T GO.

- KIM.
- YEAH?

- HEY, IT'S ADRIENNE.

- MY POWER WENT OUT.

I WOULD NEVER DO THIS
TO YOU GUYS.

AND THAT'S FINE.
I'M RUNNING INTO A PROB...

I JUST FEEL BAD.
I JUST FEEL TERRIBLE.

I REALLY DO.



- ALL RIGHT, HONEY.

BYE. - SHE SOUNDED LIKE

SHE WAS INTOXICATED.

[upbeat music]

- LIFE IN BEVERLY HILLS
IS A GAME,

AND I MAKE THE RULES.

- I'M NOT THE RICHEST GIRL
IN BEVERLY HILLS,

BUT I AM THE LUCKIEST.

- PEOPLE TRY TO FIGURE ME OUT,

BUT I'M ONE OF A KIND.

- I FINALLY FOUND MY VOICE,

AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT.

- HAVING IT ALL IS EASY IF
YOU'RE WILLING TO WORK FOR IT.

- DIAMONDS AREN'T
A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND.

FREEDOM IS.

- HELLO?
- KIM, ARE YOU ON YOUR WAY?

- WHO IS THIS? OH, ADRIENNE?

- YEAH.

- YES, I AM.

I HAVE NO MAKEUP ON.
I'M DOING IT IN THE CAR.

I'M NEVER LATE,
ESPECIALLY FOR YOU AND PAUL.

- DO YOU KNOW
ABOUT HOW MUCH LONGER?

- ABOUT 15 MINUTES.

- 15 MINUTES. OKAY.

THIS REALLY COULD BE
OUR LAST GAME.

IF KIM DOESN'T SHOW UP SOON,

I MIGHT HAVE TO LEAVE
WITHOUT HER.

ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU SOON.

OKAY, ALL RIGHT. BYE.

- I THOUGHT SHE WAS INTOXICATED
WITH SOMETHING.

WHAT HAPPENS
IF SHE DOESN'T REALLY SHOW UP

IN 15, 20 MINUTES?

- WE HAVE TO GO.

KIM'S HERE,

SO CAN YOU SIT BACK THERE?

- WELL, LET ME SAY HI TO HER,
BUT I WILL.

- OKAY.
- OH, MY GOD, LOOK AT HER FACE.

- OH, MY GOSH. LOOK WHO'S HERE.

- KIM. I'M JUST GLAD
YOU MADE IT, HONEY.

IT'S OKAY.

COME ON. - I'M SORRY.

- IT'S ALL RIGHT.
IT'S ALL RIGHT.

- HELLO, MISS KIMMY.
- HI, HONEY.

- MWAH.
- HI.

- WELL, YOU LOOK GOOD
CONSIDERING THE POWER WENT OUT.

- I MANAGED TO GET MY HAIR DONE,

AND THEN THE POWER
WENT OUT AGAIN

ON THE WHOLE BLOCK.
- OH, MY GOSH.

- I'LL GET YOU A FRESH WATER.

- AND THEN I COULDN'T SEE
TO GET DRESSED.

I COULDN'T SEE TO DO MY MAKEUP.

- YEAH.
- SO...

- I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS.

- I CALLED THE NEIGHBORS,
AND I'M LIKE,

"CAN I COME TO YOUR HOUSE?

"I KNOW I DON'T KNOW YOU
VERY WELL,

BUT I'M KIND OF IN A CRUNCH."

HONESTLY, I'M SO FLATTERED,
YOU KNOW...

I JUST FEEL SO GOOD THAT IT
WAS JUST KIND OF US TODAY.

- YEAH, I WAS TOO.

I WAS EXPLAINING TO PAUL
THE TRIP

A LITTLE BIT ABOUT PHIL.

- I JUST WISH PAUL HAD BEEN...
AND JOHNNIE, THE MEDIATOR.

- LISA SKIED WITH US.
- LISA, THE SHOWOFF.

- WELL, WHAT SHE... OH, YES.

- WAIT. OH, I'M NOT
THAT GREAT OF A SKIER, BUT...

AHH. AHH.

THIS IS THE HAT.

IT'S ALL FUR.

FAUX I'M SURE.

- FOR THE DOG OR HER?

- HER.

- [laughs]

- SO TAYLOR...
- TAYLOR.

- ALL OF A SUDDEN
SHE COMES RUNNING IN

IN HER BRA AND A THONG

AND GOT ON TOP OF ME.

- YOU HAVE TO HEAR THIS,
BECAUSE...

- SHE'S LITERALLY...
- HE'S HEARD

MY SIDE OF THE STORY,
AND I WANT HIM TO HEAR

WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT IT.

- SHE'S LIKE,
"I JUST WANT TO SAY

I LOVE YOU."

- KIM ON THE FLIGHT
DIDN'T STOP TALKING.

I DON'T REALLY THINK
SHE UNDERSTANDS

HOW INTENSE THIS CAN BE FOR ME.

YOU KNOW
THIS IS GONNA BE DIFFICULT.

THIS COULD POSSIBLY BE
OUR LAST GAME

EVER PLAYED IN SACRAMENTO,
SO I'M KIND OF NERVOUS,

A LITTLE NOT REALLY SURE
HOW THE FANS ARE GONNA REACT.

THEY MAY BE A LITTLE HOSTILE.

SO I JUST WANT
TO PREPARE YOU A LITTLE BIT.

I KNOW I TOLD YOU...
- YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M READY FOR 'EM.

- THIS GAME IS VERY IMPORTANT
TO ME.

THIS IS GONNA BE A TOUGH NIGHT.

- JUSTIN?

- YEAH?

- OH. WILL YOU HELP ME HERE
FOR A SECOND?

- WHAT'S GOING ON?

- DID WE GET ANY MORE
OF THESE QUAKEHOLD! THINGS?

- I CAN GET SOME.

I'M SURE WE HAVE 'EM SOMEWHERE.

- I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WE'RE JUST SUPPOSED TO...

- YOU'RE SUCH A WORRYWART.

- OKAY.

COULD YOU RESEND THAT EMAIL

FOR THE PARTY... COCKTAIL PARTY?
- YEAH.

WHO WE SENDING IT TO THIS TIME?

- JUSTIN, YOU KNOW
HOW MANY PEOPLE TOLD ME

THEY DIDN'T GET IT?

- NO, DON'T TELL ME THAT.

WE ONLY HAVE, LIKE, A FEW DAYS.

I'M FREAKING OUT.

- I'M HAVING A COCKTAIL PARTY

TO RAISE MONEY FOR A CHARITY

THAT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME.

I HAVE NO RSVPs.

HOW MANY DO WE HAVE?
LIKE, THREE?

- FOUR.

- SHUT UP. DON'T TELL ME THAT.

- IT'S GONNA BE FINE.
WE'RE GONNA FIGURE IT OUT.

- THE LOLLIPOP THEATER NETWORK
RAISES MONEY

FOR CHILDREN WITH CANCER.

I CAN'T THINK
OF ANYTHING MORE HEARTBREAKING

THAN A CHILD GOING
THROUGH ANY KIND

OF LIFE-THREATENING ILLNESS
LIKE THAT.

WHAT DO WE HAVE SO FAR

FOR THE SILENT AUCTION?

- $150 GIFT CERTIFICATE

TO DINNER AT LA DOLCE VITA.

- OH, OKAY, THAT'S GOOD.
- WE HAVE A DAY OF BEAUTY

AT THE GIUSEPPE FRANCO SALON.

- VERY NICE.
- ALLIE'S GIVING A GIFT BASKET

FROM BELLE PARISH.

WE HAVE A MALLORY PAGE ORIGINAL
FROM NEW ORLEANS,

ARTIST OUT OF NEW ORLEANS,
GIVING A 36x36.

- OH.
- WORTH 5 GRAND, YEAH.

- [indistinct]'S GIVING
THREE TRAINING SESSIONS.

PETALS BY DAVID.
- MY FAVORITE. OKAY.

I'M GONNA CALL LISA.

A LOT OF PEOPLE IN BEVERLY HILLS

WILL, YOU KNOW, WRITE A CHECK,

BUT IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT

TO ME TO GET INVOLVED.

I DON'T WANT TO JUST SHOW UP

WITH A GREAT DRESS ON
AND BE LIKE,

"HERE YOU GO.
I'M SUPPORTING THE CAUSE."

JUSTIN, I HATE DOING THIS.

- YOU HAVE TO.

SHE'S YOUR FRIEND. - I KNOW,

BUT IT ALWAYS GIVES ME ANXIETY
TO ASK PEOPLE FOR MONEY.

- SHE'S GOT MILLIONS.

- LISA.
- YES?

- HI. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

DON'T PRETEND TO BE WORKING OUT.

- I'M ON THE TREADMILL.

- OH, PLEASE.

ANYWAY, I NEED
TO ASK YOU A FAVOR.

I'M DOING A SILENT AUCTION.

IS THERE ANY WAY
YOU COULD DONATE A DINNER

FOR TWO TO VILLA BLANCA OR SUR?

- UH, YEAH, ABSOLUTELY,
BUT DO IT FOR MORE.

DO IT FOR, LIKE, FOUR OR SIX.

- OKAY.
- YEAH.

- I'LL DO FOUR.
I DON'T WANT TO BE GREEDY.

FOUR IS ENOUGH.

- THIS ISN'T FOR THE CHARITY
FOR, UM,

REDECORATING
THE NEW HOUSE, IS IT?

- [laughs]

SHH. DON'T TELL ANYBODY.

IT'S ALL FOR KIDS WITH CANCER.

IT'S GONNA BE A LOT OF FUN,
SO...

- OKAY, ABSOLUTELY,
I'LL SUPPORT IT.

- THANK YOU FOR THE DONATION.

I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.

- ALL RIGHT. ABSOLUTELY.
- WHEN YOU'RE PUTTING TOGETHER

A CHARITY PARTY,
IT'S NICE TO HAVE RICH FRIENDS.

BRING SOME FRIENDS. - ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, DARLING.

- OKAY. OKAY, BYE.

AND THEIR WALLETS.

[laughter]

- HI.

- WHOO.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

THANK YOU FOR WAITING FOR ME.

- THE POTENTIAL MOVE
OF THE KINGS

HAS BEEN ABSOLUTELY EXHAUSTING.

THIS IS ONE
OF THE BIGGEST DECISIONS

MY FAMILY AND I HAS EVER HAD
TO MAKE.

AND I'M NOT REAL SURE
WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO.

- "FEARING TEAM'S RELOCATION,

FANS EXPECTED TO BE VOCAL."

- THE MAIN REASON FOR US
POSSIBLY MOVING THE TEAM

IS WE NEED TO HAVE A NEW ARENA

TO BE COMPETITIVE.

- CAN SOMEBODY FILL ME IN
ON WHAT I'M IN FOR?

- JUST BE PREPARED FOR ANYTHING,
AND JUST STAY CLOSE TO US,

YOU KNOW, IN OUR CIRCLE.

OBVIOUSLY, YOU'RE GOING TO.
AND YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN
STAY CLOSE TO YOU?

- NO, LIKE ANYTHING ELSE.
- AM I IN JEOPARDY?

- NO, NO, NO.

- EVEN MY LITTLE BOY IS SAYING,
"MOM, WHEN ARE WE GOING

TO SACRAMENTO FOR THE GAME?"

SO NOW IT'S KIND OF LIKE...

I, YOU KNOW, IT'S HARD.

- IT IS SAD.

- CHANGE IS NEVER EASY.

- I DON'T LIKE NEW RESTAURANTS,

NEW PEOPLE.

- WAIT A MINUTE,
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

- I JUST LIKE MY ROUTINE.

ARE THOSE CHOCOLATE?

- HMM. "BABY, PLEASE DON'T GO.

KINGS."

- OH, MY GOSH.

- HERE, HERE.

- AW.
- THAT'S WEIRD.

- IT'S A HUGE DECISION.
PEOPLE'S JOBS, FANS...

THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT
EMOTIONALLY DRAINING

AND VERY, VERY STRESSFUL.

SO ODD TO THINK
THAT YOU'RE MOVING.

IT'S SAD.

- COMING UP...

- HEY, MALOOF, SELL THE TEAM.

YOU SUCK! - BOO!

- WAS WORRIED THE FANS
MIGHT GET AGGRESSIVE.

[yelling]

- CAN YOU PUT SOME MONEY
IN THE METER, DARLING?

HEY. HOW ARE YOU?

- HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD.

EVERY WEEK
YOU'RE GETTING BIGGER.

IN ADDITION TO VILLA BLANCA,

WE HAVE THIS RESTAURANT
CALLED SUR IN WEST HOLLYWOOD.

WE HAVE A COUPLE
OF HUNDRED PEOPLE

RESERVED ALREADY, RIGHT? - YES.

AND YOU GUYS ARE COMING TONIGHT,
THAT'S RIGHT?

- YEAH.
- ALL RIGHT.

- OKAY.
- THERE'S A SPACE NEXT DOOR,

AND I'M ITCHING
TO EXPAND SUR INTO THERE,

SO I'VE DECIDED TO DO IT.

WHAT I WANT TO SAY TO YOU, AND
THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME,

YOU KNOW, YOU'VE GOT YOUNG KIDS.

THAT IS A LOT OF WORK NEXT DOOR,

AND YOU WILL BE WORKING

TILL 2:00, 3:00 IN THE MORNING.

LATER THAN HERE. - MAYBE 3:30.

- AND THEY'RE GONNA BE WAKING UP
AT 7:00,

AND I REALLY WANT TO BE SURE

HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT.

- WHAT WE DO
IS FOR A GOOD CAUSE.

YOU KNOW, WE'LL DO IT
FOR SOMETHING

THAT IS GOING TO BE VERY GOOD,

AND THE CHALLENGE IS GOOD.

- WE'RE VERY EXCITED,
VERY EXCITED.

MOTIVATED, EXCITED. I MEAN...

- IT'S GONNA PUT PRESSURE
ON YOU, I GUARANTEE YOU.

- YEAH, OF COURSE.

- IT'S GONNA PUT PRESSURE
ON YOU.

IT'S GONNA PUT PRESSURE
ON YOUR MARRIAGE.

- YOU'VE GOT
ALL YOUR CHARITY WORK,

YOUR VILLA BLANCA AND SUR.

- YEAH, THIS IS
WHERE YOU COME IN.

YOU CAN HELP ME. - [sighs]

- I REMEMBER, I MEAN,
20, 25 YEARS AGO,

WHEN WE WERE IN A SIMILAR
SITUATION, YOU KNOW.

IT'S A LOT OF WORK.
YOU KNOW I WILL COME IN HERE,

HAVE DINNER,

YOU KNOW, HAVE A DRINK,
AND THEN I GO HOME.

"BYE, GUILLERMO," 10:00, 11:00.

I DON'T WANT ANY RESENTMENT.
I WANT TO PUT IT OUT THERE NOW

THAT YOUR HOURS ARE GOING
TO BE HUGE

COMPARED TO WHAT THEY ARE NOW.

- RIGHT, UM, WELL...

- YOU THINK
YOU HAVE GRAY HAIR NOW.

SIX MONTHS LATER,
YOU'LL BE LOOKING LIKE HIM.

[laughter]
- I WANT TO LOOK LIKE HIM.

YOU KNOW...
- THAT'S SEXY, THAT'S OKAY.

- I WANT TO LOOK LIKE HIM,
YOU KNOW.

- IT'S NOT GRAY. IT'S BLONDE.

- WE ARE TOGETHER...
- WHO TOLD YOU THAT, KEN?

- WE'LL SET IT UP.
- RIGHT.

- SHE'LL DESIGN IT ALL
SO IT LOOKS AMAZING.

WE'LL GET ALL THE BASICS RIGHT,

AND THEN GRADUALLY
YOU CAN JUST TAKE OVER WITH IT.

- IDEALLY, I WOULD LIKE
TO KNOCK THIS OUT,

LIKE, IN A COUPLE OF MONTHS.

FINGERS CROSSED, HERE WE GO.

- BYE, PRINCESS LISA.

- OH, I LIKE THE FACT THAT YOU
STILL CALL ME PRINCESS LISA.

I LOVE THAT.

- YEAH.
- I REALLY LIKE THAT.

- WHEN CAN I COME
TO YOUR CASTLE?

- OH, IT'S NOT A CASTLE.
IT'S A HOUSE.

- COME ON, DARLING.
MWAH. ANOTHER ONE. MWAH.

OH, THERE'S LIKE SOME GOOEY
STUFF ALL OVER HER NOSE.

WHAT WAS THAT?
WAS THAT A PRESENT FOR ME?

- HONEY. HONEY.

[knock at door]

- TAYLOR?
- YEAH.

Both: HI. HOW ARE YOU?

- I'M SO EXCITED I GOT
TO USE MY PEEPHOLE,

BECAUSE I JUST HAD IT PUT IN.

THEY HAD TO MEASURE IT
TO MY HEIGHT.

THAT'S A GOOD HEIGHT.
COME IN, COME IN.

- OH, MY GOSH,
I WAS JUST RUNNING ERRANDS.

- CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING
TO DRINK, TO EAT?

SOMETHING? - OH, NO, I'M FINE.

- ARE YOU SURE?
- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

- I DON'T WANT TO BE
A BAD HOSTESS.

- NO, YOU'RE A GREAT HOSTESS.
- WHAT'S GOING ON?

- I LOVE THOSE FLOWERS.

- I KNOW. I DON'T...

I DON'T HAVE
THE VANDERPUMP THUMB.

- UM...
- WHAT IS THIS?

- I WAKE UP TODAY AND GET A CALL

FROM MY HUSBAND
THAT THERE'S AN ARTICLE

IN THE PRESS ABOUT MY MARRIAGE.

AND I'M NOT HAPPY.

- WHERE DID THIS COME FROM?

- I HAVE NO IDEA,
BUT I'M TRYING TO FIND OUT.

AFTER I CAME BACK
FROM THE SKI TRIP,

RUSSELL AND I DECIDED

THAT I SHOULD NOT BE TALKING

TO MY FRIENDS ABOUT MY MARRIAGE.

NOW THERE'S A GOSSIP SITE

FEATURING PIECES
OF OUR PERSONAL LIFE.

THIS IS NOT GOOD.

- "TAYLOR'S A SWEET GIRL,

BUT PEOPLE ARE STARTING
TO GET WORRIED A BIT ABOUT..."

THIS IS SO WEIRD.

"SHE'S NOT ACTING LIKE HERSELF."

YOU'VE BEEN YOURSELF.

- IT SAYS I'M BARELY EATING.

- ARE YOU HUNGRY? [laughter]

NO, I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN STRESSED.

I KNOW. - I HAVE BEEN STRESSED,

BUT THIS IS NOT HELPING.

- THIS IS, LIKE, PERSONAL STUFF.

- DETAILED.

- THAT'S WEIRD.

WHERE WOULD THAT COME FROM?

YOUR FIRST THOUGHT IS KIND OF,

WELL, IT HAS TO BE
SOMEBODY I KNOW.

BUT THEN YOU THINK,

COULD THEY REALLY DO THAT?

COULD IT BE SOMEBODY
IN YOUR HOUSE?

WHO... I MEAN, YOUR NANNY?

- I MEAN, EVERYONE IN MY LIFE

IS UNDER
A CONFIDENTIALITY AGREEMENT.

- THEY'RE ALL UNDER
A CONFIDENTIALITY AGREEMENT?

- YEAH.
YOU HAVE YOUR HOUSE STAFF

UNDER A CONFIDENTIALITY
AGREEMENT, I'M SURE.

OR SHOULD. - NO.

- WELL, YOU SHOULD.
- I DON'T HAVE STAFF.

BUT MY HOUSEKEEPER DOES NOT SIGN
A CONFIDENTIALITY AGREEMENT.

NO.
- DOES RUSSELL KNOW ABOUT THIS?

- YES, HE'S FURIOUS.
HE'S FURIOUS.

HE'S LIKE, "WHO OF YOUR FRIENDS
HAS DONE THIS?"

BECAUSE HE'S LIKE,
THERE'S TOO MUCH INFORMATION

HERE FOR THIS JUST TO BE
A RANDOM SOURCE.

ADRIENNE WOULD NEVER DO THAT
TO ME.

AND I DON'T REALLY THINK
KIM TALKS TO A LOT OF PEOPLE.

OBVIOUSLY I DON'T THINK
KYLE WOULD DO THAT TO ME.

AND IT'S NOT CAMILLE'S NATURE.

I WOULD SAY THAT THE PERSON
THAT HAS THE MOST INTERACTION

WITH THE MEDIA

IS LISA.

- IT FEELS LIKE THERE'S A SPY.

WELL, IT SAYS, "OUR SPY."
IT SAYS, "OUR SPY."

- WE HAVE A SPY.

- I'VE HAD THAT HAPPEN
TO ME TOO.

- I'M SURE.

- AND MY FAMILY.
- YOUR FAMILY'S HAD IT

A MILLION TIMES.

I KNOW SOMEBODY
WHO COULD HELP YOU FIGURE OUT.

ELLIOT MINTZ.

HE'S BEEN IN THIS BUSINESS
FOREVER,

AND HE COULD SAY
WHO WOULD GIVE THIS STORY.

WHAT HAPPENS IN BEVERLY HILLS
STAYS IN BEVERLY HILLS.

- WELL, NOT THANKS
TO THE INTERNET.

[laughter]

- LOOK, THEY'RE ALL WAITING
TO GET IN, ALL THESE PEOPLE.

-

PLEASE DON'T GO.

- THE IMMEDIATE LOSS
OF SEVERAL THOUSAND JOBS

IN THE NATOMAS AREA
THE DAY THEY LEAVE TOWN.

[yelling] - OH, MY GOD.

[indistinct shouting]

- I'M GONNA HAVE ONE MORE SIP.
I'M GETTING NERVOUS.

- ALL RIGHT.

FANS' EMOTIONS ARE RUNNING HIGH.

[fans shouting]

IT COULD HAVE BEEN VERY EASY
TO STAY HOME.

BUT I WANT TO BE THERE
WITH THE FANS,

AND I WANT TO SUPPORT THEM.
DOES ANYBODY ELSE WANT A SIP?

- NO.
- NO, THANKS. I'M GOOD.

[laughs]

- WE'RE GONNA GO AHEAD
AND MEET WITH THE SECURITY

ALREADY HERE IN PLACE.
- YEAH, I'M FINE.

- AND WE'RE GONNA WALK US
RIGHT UP TO THE SUITE.

SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO

THROUGH WHOLE CROWDS AND STUFF.

AND THEN LOCAL POLICE WILL
ALSO BE THERE OUT THERE, SO...

-

PLEASE DON'T GO.
PLEASE DON'T GO.

- GO BACK TO WHERE
YOU BELONG, TRAITOR.

- IT'S ALREADY STARTING.
[bells jangling]

- NO, I'M NOT WORRIED.

- HEY, MALOOF, SELL THE TEAM.

L.A. SUCKS. THEY SUCK.

- I DON'T LIKE THIS.

OBVIOUSLY.

- I NEED TO GET SOMEONE
OVER THERE ON THAT EXIT.

I JUST NEED ONE ON THAT SIDE,
WHERE YOU'RE AT OVER THERE,

AND AT LEAST ONE RIGHT HERE,
AT LEAST, OKAY?

- NOW THIS IS WHAT KILLS ME.

"YOU'RE RIPPING OUR HEARTS OUT.

"PLEASE STAY.
CAN'T WE MAKE IT WORK?

SACRAMENTO LOVES THE KINGS."

THAT'S THE STUFF...
THAT'S WHAT GETS HARD.

All: SACRAMENTO.

[clapping] SACRAMENTO.

HERE WE STAY. HERE WE STAY.

- HERE WE GO.

- SO I WAS SITTING
AT THE CIGAR BAR...

I USED TO GO TO THE CIGAR BAR.
I LOVE CIGARS.

AND AFTER I RIDE MY HORSE
BEFORE PICKING UP MY KIDS...

- COME ON, YOU GUYS.

- THERE WAS A GIRL
THAT CAME IN...

- LET'S WATCH THIS.

- IN LOUIS VUITTON.
LIKE... LIKE, HOT PINK.

- NO.
- SHE HAD IT ALL CUSTOM-MADE.

AND I LOOK OVER AT HER
AND HER NIPPLE'S HANGING OUT,

AND I GO...
AND ALL THE GUYS ARE...

AND SHE WAS THERE
WITH HER BOYFRIEND...

- ADRIENNE.

NO, NO, I WANT YOU
TO WATCH THE GAME.

- AND I GO, "DEAR..."
- [bleep]!

"I WAS JUST WORRIED
ABOUT IT GETTING CHILLY."

- ENOUGH CHATTER
ON THE OTHER SIDE.

[cheers and applause] - OH.

I'M LIKE, WAIT.
OH, MY GOD, WAIT.

- THAT GUY'S UNSTOPPABLE.
- YOU'RE SO FUNNY.

- COME ON, MAN. WATCH THE GAME.

JESUS.
- WE WERE HAVING A MOMENT.

- COME ON!
- YES!

[whistle blows]

[cheers and applause]

- I DIDN'T TRAVEL ALL THE WAY
TO SACRAMENTO

TO HIDE IN A BOX.

I WANTED TO BE CLOSE
TO THE FANS.

JOHNNIE, DO YOU THINK
WE COULD GO DOWN ON THE FLOOR?

- HELL NO.
- NO?

- NO WAY.
- NO?

- I DON'T RECOMMEND IT.

YEAH, IT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA
AT ALL.

PLEASE DON'T. I WANT TO SAY...

- THE ANSWER IS...
LISTEN, THAT'S IT.

- LET'S JUST NOT DO IT.
- EVEN THOUGH IT COULD BE

A VERY DANGEROUS SITUATION,

I'M A VERY STRONG PERSON.

I THINK I HAVE GOOD INSTINCTS
AS WELL.

WHAT IF WE WERE IN THE TUNNEL?

STANDING INSIDE THE TUNNEL.
- YEAH.

[booing]

- HAVE A HEART!
HAVE A HEART, MALOOF!

I'M ASKING YOU.

[indistinct shouting]

- I WAS WORRIED THE FANS

MIGHT GET AGGRESSIVE.

[shouting]

- THAT GUY JUST HIT ME
IN THE EAR.

- I'M NOT QUITE SURE THAT I'M
MAKING THE RIGHT DECISION.

[beep]

- COMING UP...

- WHO'S THAT?

- I DON'T KNOW. SHE'S TALL.

IF YOU HAVE A BROKEN LEG,

WOULD YOU REALLY PUT
A STILETTO WITH IT?

PLEASE.

All:

LET'S GO. LET'S GO.

- STAY RIGHT HERE!
- WHOO!

- YOU'RE NOT GONNA SIT
ON THE FLOOR.

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE THINGS
THROWN AT YOU.

- I KNOW, I KNOW,
I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW.

I KNOW. I KNOW.
- IT'S RIDICULOUS.

- STAY HERE IN SACRAMENTO.

THIS IS YOUR HOME.

PLEASE STAY! DON'T GO.

- WE LOVE OUR FANS,
AND THEY'RE IMPORTANT TO US.

IT'S JUST THAT WE REALLY NEED

TO GENERATE MORE REVENUE.

- I DON'T LIKE WHEN THEY SAY,
"THINGS CAN GET A LITTLE HAIRY."

THAT ALWAYS MAKE ME
A LITTLE NERVOUS.

- ♪♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪♪

- PAUL, CAN WE GO UNDERNEATH THE
BASKET, SO WHEN IT GOES THROUGH,

I CAN CATCH IT?

- WHY DON'T YOU SWE...
YOU KNOW, WHEN THEY...

SOMEONE CALLS YOU,
YOU CAN SWEEP THE FLOOR.

[cheers and applause]

- ADRIENNE, CAN I GET A PICTURE
OF YOU FOR MY HUSBAND?

- GOING TO THIS GAME

WAS ABSOLUTELY
THE RIGHT THING TO DO.

- YES!
- THERE WE GO!

- I GOT TO SEE THE FANS.

- ADRIENNE!

- THANK YOU SO MUCH.

- HEY, YOU.

- MY FAVORITE GAME WAS THE ONE
RIGHT AFTER CHRISTMAS...

- 'CAUSE I GOT TO SEE
OUR DANCERS.

YOU'RE ALL SO BEAUTIFUL,
AND YOU'VE DONE A GREAT JOB,

SO THANK YOU. - THANK YOU.

THANKS FOR COMING
TO SUPPORT THE TEAM.

- REALLY APPRECIATE IT.

I THINK THEY ALSO APPRECIATED ME

BEING THERE FOR THEM.

HOW ARE YOU?
YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL.

- BYE. WE LOVE YOU.

- IT WAS A DIFFICULT SITUATION
FOR ME,

BUT I WASN'T AFRAID
TO HIT IT HEAD ON

AND HANDLE IT.

YOU GOT TO DEAL WITH IT.

- THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING.

- THANKS. THANK YOU.

THAT'S HOW I DO THINGS.

I'M GLAD THAT I WENT.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

TAKE CARE. THANKS.
- THIS WAS A GREAT NIGHT,

AND I'M GLAD I SHARED IT
WITH ADRIENNE.

KIM, ON THE OTHER HAND...

- BUH-BYE. [thump]

[gasps]

- YOU ALL RIGHT?
- I THOUGHT IT WAS, LIKE,

A GUN SHOT. - I KNOW.

- I'M READY TO HAVE
A HEART ATTACK RIGHT NOW.

- HI. HOW YOU DOING?

HELLO. - HI.

- I'M JAKE.
- HI, DEDRA.

NICE TO MEET YOU. - HEY.

CAMILLE. NICE TO MEET YOU.

YEAH, RIGHT THERE.

- OR DO THAT.
- OKAY.

- BAM.
- BAM. [laughs]

- FOR PEOPLE
THAT DON'T LIKE COOTIES.

- THAT'S ALL GOOD.

I'M LOOKING FOR A WETSUIT,

AND...
- I CAN HELP YOU WITH A WETSUIT.

- AND A COUPLE BOARD.
I'M LOOKING FOR PADDLEBOARDING.

- OH, OKAY.
- HE'S THE BOARD GUY.

I'M THE WETSUIT PERSON.
- SO WE'LL START

WITH WETSUITS WITH YOU. - OKAY.

- PERFECT. I'M LOOKING FORWARD

TO MY VACATION WITH THE KIDS

TO GO TO HAWAII.

THIS IS SOMETHING
I'VE BEEN DOING FOR YEARS.

THIS IS
THEIR EASTER/SPRING BREAK.

- ISN'T THIS GREAT?

- THE KIDS'LL LOVE 'EM
FOR HAWAII.

- YEAH.
- I CAN'T WAIT TO GO.

- I KNOW. YOU'RE SO LUCKY.

- IT'S A GOOD PLACE
FOR ME TO BE.

LAST YEAR, I STILL HAD
THE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT

OF A HUSBAND.

AND THIS YEAR I DON'T HAVE
THAT SUPPORT.

BUT I DO HAVE THE SUPPORT
OF MY FRIENDS AND MY FAMILY.

- WHAT DO YOU THINK,
PURPLE OR PINK, D.D.?

- UMM... I THINK THAT'S CUTE.

I LIKE THE PURPLE.
- DON'T YOU THINK THE PINK

IS TOO?
- YEAH, I THINK THE PINK IS TOO.

- LAST YEAR, KELSEY HAD ASKED

CARL TO GO TO HAWAII.

- LOOKING GOOD, BABY.

- WELL, THANK YOU, CARL.

- CAMILLE, YOU LOOK GREAT.

- OH, THANKS.
- REALLY GOOD.

- I'M JUST GONNA HAVE
PEOPLE COME AROUND

THAT JUST KISS MY ASS
AND TELL ME HOW WONDERFUL I AM.

PLEASE MORE, MORE.
- BUT YOU ARE WONDERFUL.

AND YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

- KEEP GOING.
- AND YOU'RE HOT.

- I THOUGHT
HE WAS A GOOD FRIEND.

CARL KNEW THE WHOLE TIME

THAT KELSEY HAD A GIRLFRIEND.

I'M NO LONGER IN TOUCH
WITH CARL.

[laughter]

THOSE ARE FUNKY.
- THOSE ARE COOL.

I KNOW. ALIEN FEET.

- YEAH, THEY DO
LOOK LIKE ALIENS.

- MY TRUE FRIENDS
THAT HAVE BEEN THERE

HAVE BEEN AMAZING.

AND I'M SO GRATEFUL
TO HAVE THEM IN MY LIFE.

- YOU CAN'T HURT THESE.
- YEAH.

- WHICH, IF SHE WERE TO DO THIS
ON HER GLASS BOARD,

SHE WOULD HAVE
ALREADY BROKEN IT.

- THE JOURNEY TAKES YOU
THROUGH TWISTS AND TURNS,

BUT I'VE LEARNED A LOT.

AND I HAVE MY FRIENDS
AND MY FAMILY TO THANK FOR THAT.

THANK YOU. all: THANK YOU.

- NICE MEETING YOU.
- BYE-BYE.

- COME ON, PORTIA. I MEAN KHLOE.

CAN'T GET THE DOGS'
AND THE KIDS' NAMES STRAIGHT.

- COME ON, KHLOE.
COME ON, PORTIA.

COME ON, ROXY.

- COME ON, YOU GUYS, GET IN.
I HAVE TOO MUCH TO DO.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR ME?
PLEASE TELL ME

YOU HAVE SOMETHING
FOR THE AUCTION.

- I DO. I HAVE BODY BY RON.

- OKAY, THAT'S GOOD.
THIS IS FOR THE SILENT AUCTION.

YAY! - YEAH, TWO OF THOSE.

- AND WE PUT
HOW MUCH IT'S WORTH...

I DON'T EVEN KNOW
HOW TO DO ALL THAT.

I'VE NEVER DONE THIS.

- WHO'S YOUR EMCEE?

YOU? - ME. [laughs]

WAIT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN, EMCEE?

THE HOSTESS? THAT'S ONLY ME.

- OH.

- I'VE BEEN REALLY OVERWHELMED.

I'M MOVING INTO THE HOUSE

AND TRYING TO THROW THIS EVENT
TOGETHER,

SO I'M A LITTLE
ALL OVER THE PLACE.

- CALL JUSTIN.

- HE'S PICKING UP SOMETHING
FROM PARIS RIGHT NOW.

SHE'S GIVING ME A THING
OF HER PERFUMES AND STUFF.

I HAVE, LIKE, 12 OR 15 ITEMS.

NOW I HAVE TO MAKE SURE
PEOPLE COME.

DID YOU TELL ANYBODY TO COME?

[laughs] - I'M SORRY.

- THIS IS NOT A GOOD FRIEND.

THIS IS [indistinct].

THEY DID A BRAZILIAN BLOWOUT,

THEY GAVE ME ALL THE PRODUCTS,
BLAH-BLAH-BLAH.

- BRAZILIAN BLOWOUTS
ARE, LIKE, ILLEGAL NOW.

- THEY'RE NOT ILLEGAL.

THEY'RE JUST DANGEROUS.

HONEY, I NEED HELP.

- YEAH, YOU NEED TO...

- WAIT, HONEY,
THIS IS AN EXPENSIVE PIECE.

YOU CAN'T JUST RIP IT UP
LIKE THAT.

TAKE IT EASY.

- I'M SO SCARED
NOBODY'S EVEN GONNA SHOW UP

AT THIS POINT.

- THIS IS A DISASTER.

- WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR ME?

- PASTELS TO GO
WITH THE LOLLIPOPS.

- OH, CUTE.
- AND WE'RE GONNA WRAP 'EM UP

LIKE BON-BONS.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

- LIKE, ROLL THEM UP
AND WRAP THEM UP.

AREN'T THEY CUTE?

- THEY'RE VERY CUTE.

WHERE DID YOU COME UP
WITH THESE?

- CHRISTIAN AUDIGIER OWED ME
A FAVOR.

- OH, LISTEN TO JUSTIN.
- YES.

- [laughs]

I DON'T WANT TO BE,
LIKE, TOO DRESSY.

IS THIS TOO, LIKE...

IS THAT CUTE? - NO, THAT'S CUTE.

I LIKE THAT. NOTHING ON TOP.

NUDE. OH, THAT'S CUTE.

- IS IT TOO DRESSY?

- NO, I LIKE THAT.

- YOU DO?
- YEAH, WHAT SHOES

WOULD YOU WEAR WITH THAT?

- I DON'T KNOW.

LIKE, PROBABLY THESE.

NO, NOT DRESSY ENOUGH.
- THIS IS CUTE.

- ISN'T THIS A LITTLE BIT,
LIKE, VA-VA-VOOM

FOR, LIKE, A FUNDRAISER?

- YOU'RE TRYING TO GET MONEY.

- YEAH, BUT I'M NOT
A STREETWALKER.

- YOU KIND OF ARE.

[laughter]

- HELLO, VILLA BLANCA.

YES, HOLD ON A SECOND.

FOR HOW MANY?

OKAY, HOLD ON ONE SECOND.

STEVEN.

- YES, MAY I HELP?
- CAN YOU PUT A RESERVATION

FOR THREE IN THERE?
- ABSOLUTELY.

- HELLO, KIRSTEN,
WHAT'S GOING ON?

VILLA BLANCA'S THRIVING.

IT'S DOING VERY WELL.
IT'S MY BABY.

I'M VERY PROUD OF IT.
OKAY, WELL, THERE'S...

THERE'S ALREADY, LIKE,
150 RESERVATIONS FOR LUNCH,

SO I'M SURE WE NEED YOU. OKAY.

ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
HOLD ON ONE SECOND.

IT'S KIRSTEN ON THE PHONE.

YOU OUGHT TO TAKE THAT.
- ABSOLUTELY.

- I NEED SOME HELP
OVER HERE ACTUALLY.

CEDRIC DIDN'T JUST WORK FOR US.

HE WAS PART OF OUR FAMILY.
BEND OVER.

IT'S NOT GONNA HURT A BIT.

- THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID
LAST TIME.

- SO WE'VE GOT A LOT
OF RESERVATIONS FOR LUNCH...

- YEAH, IT'S GONNA BE BUSY
TODAY.

- AND I NEED YOU TO HELP ME
WITH TABLE 13 OVER HERE.

- THANK YOU.

- IT WASN'T DIFFICULT

TO REPLACE CEDRIC
AT VILLA BLANCA,

BUT IT WAS DIFFICULT
TO REPLACE CEDRIC EMOTIONALLY.

IT'S RARE THAT YOU LET SOMEBODY
INTO YOUR FAMILY

AND EVEN MORE SO YOUR HEART.

STEVEN, I NEED TWO BOTTLES
OF ROSE,

AND IF YOU COULD JUST HELP ME
FOR FIVE MINUTES SET IT UP,

'CAUSE I'VE GOT TO GO.
- ABSOLUTELY.

- YEAH?
- AND ARE WE GONNA DO...

WE'RE GONNA DO PETALS
ON THE TABLE?

IS THAT RIGHT? - YEAH, YEAH.

I'LL DO EVERYTHING. DON'T WORRY.

SINCE WE PARTED WAYS,

I HAVEN'T SEEN CEDRIC.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HE'S DOING.

BUT HE'LL GO A LONG WAY TO FIND
ANOTHER IDIOT LIKE ME.

VOILA.

- ALL RIGHT.

- IT NEEDS TO BE DARKER HERE.

- WELL, IT'S GOING TO GET DARKER
LATER ON.

- NO, I KNOW,
BUT I DIDN'T REALIZE.

HONEY,
THOSE ARE ALL PARIS' PERFUME.

THEY'RE GLASS. DON'T BREAK THEM.

- OKAY.
- ARE THESE FOR DRINKS?

NO, THAT'S JUST DECORATION.

- THOSE ARE JUST DECORATION.
- OH.

[laughs]

ORIGINALLY THIS CHARITY

WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AT MY HOME,

BUT MY HOUSE WASN'T READY YET.

SO WE LAST MINUTE HAD
TO SCRAMBLE AND DO IT

AT GLENN'S RESTAURANT.

I JUST FELT VERY PUT TOGETHER

WITH SPIT AND GLUE.

- THIS IS GONNA BE BEAUTIFUL.
- ISN'T IT?

- YEAH, IT'S GONNA LOOK AMAZING.
- I'M SO NERVOUS.

- NO, THIS IS...
LOOK AT THIS VIEW TODAY.

THE VIEW'S AMAZING. - OW.

- CAREFUL.
- OKAY, HOLD ON.

LET ME JUST CHECK THIS.

DO YOU WANT US TO... OH, WAIT.

OH, YOU GUYS HAVE TO START
PUTTING THE FRAMES... OKAY.

GLENN, CAN YOU GET ME, LIKE,
LITTLE VOTIVE CANDLES?

MY GOD, I'M FALLING APART.

I REALLY WANTED FLOWERS.

- I CAN GET SOME FLOWERS.

- WHERE?

- WE'RE GONNA PUT CANDLES
ON THE TABLE.

IT'LL LOOK GREAT. - I KNOW.

- AND LOLLIPOPS.
- I SHOULD HAVE HAD FLOWERS.

- HONEY, EVERYBODY'S GONNA COME,

AND YOU'RE GONNA DO GREAT.

IT'S GONNA RAISE A LOT OF MONEY.

WE'RE GONNA DO GOOD HERE.

- CAMILLE'S IN HAWAII,
SO SHE WON'T BE THERE,

AND KIM COULDN'T MAKE IT
BECAUSE SHE WAS TIRED

FROM GOING TO SACRAMENTO.

BIG SHOCKEROO.

I REALLY FEEL
LIKE WE NEED FLOWERS NOW,

AND NOW I'M FREAKING OUT.

- UM...

- UH-OH.
WE HAVE A BROKEN LOLLIPOP.

- I KNOW. WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

- UH-OH. THAT'S GONNA FALL.

- HERE. HAVE THIS.

- LISTEN TO YOU, YOU'RE LIKE,
SO I WILL SHUT UP.

NOBODY IS GOING TO COME.

WERE YOU JUST TEASING
WHEN YOU SAID

WE'LL GET FLOWERS?
HOW CAN I GET FLOWERS THIS FAST?

- WE'RE GONNA CALL SUPERMAN.
- 30 MINUTES.

I'M HAVING A HEART ATTACK.
- I KNOW.

LET ME GO GET FLOWERS.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

- COMING UP...
- YOU NEED TO EAT.

- I AM EATING.
- YOU'RE NOT EATING, TAYLOR.

- I'M EATING. I JUST...
- TAYLOR, YOU ADMITTED TO ME

YOU'RE NOT EATING.

- OKAY. TRY AND KEEP OUT
OF TROUBLE TONIGHT.

DON'T SAY ANYTHING
ABOUT THERAPY.

DON'T SAY ANYTHING
TO ANYBODY... THIS WAY.

- HOW ARE YOU, MY FRIEND?
- HEY, BUDDY.

- HELLO.
- NICE TO SEE YOU.

HI. HOW ARE YOU?
- I'VE BEEN GOOD.

- GOOD. YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

- OH.
- NICE EARRINGS.

- THANK YOU, DARLING.
- WHAT'S GOING ON?

I LIKE YOU IN ALL BLACK.
- YOU DO?

- YEAH. YOU'RE ALWAYS
IN PINK AND PURPLE.

- AM I? YEAH. WELL, YEAH.

- I LIKE. I LIKE. LOOKS GOOD.

- HELLO, DARLING.
- HOW ARE YOU?

- IT WASN'T THE NORMAL KIND
OF BEVERLY HILLS TYPE

OF CHARITY EVENT.

IT WAS IN SOME KIND
OF GODFORSAKEN PLACE

AT THE BACK OF A MALL,
BUT IT'S KYLE, SO, OF COURSE,

I'M GONNA GO. - LOLLIPOPS.

- OH, OKAY. THANK YOU.

- YES.
ALTHOUGH IT'S ON A SKEWER.

- THANK YOU SO MUCH.

- HI. HOW ARE YOU?

HI, HOW ARE YOU?

- GOOD TO SEE YOU.

AS EVERYONE STARTS PILING IN,

I'M THINKING, "THANK YOU, GOD."

- I JUST GOT BACK
FROM MEXICO CITY.

I HAD THE MOST FUN.

NOT FOR US.

IT WAS GUNS AND CARS
AND DRIVERS.

AND BULLETPROOF CARS.

AND THEN YOU JUST PUT IT
OUT OF YOUR MIND.

- HI. WHO'S THERE?

- HELLO.

- HI.
- GOOD TO SEE YOU.

- GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO.

THIS IS SUCH A COOL VENUE.

I NEVER KNEW THIS WAS IN HERE.

Both: HI. - GOOD TO SEE YOU.

- HAVE YOU MET DANA?

- UMM...
- DON'T REMEMBER?

- I'M USELESS.

YOU KNOW,
I DON'T EVEN RECOGNIZE KEN

WHEN I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING.

OH, YOU KNOW.

- DANA, LISA. LISA, DANA.

- HELLO, HI.

HOW ARE YOU DOING? - I'M GOOD.

I'M GOOD, I'M GOOD.
- HOW ARE YOU REALLY DOING?

- I'M GOOD.

- MARGARITA ON THE ROCKS.

- LOOK AT YOUR LITTLE ARM.

SO MUCH BODY WEIGHT.
I'M TELLING YOU,

YOU'VE LOST SO MUCH WEIGHT.

- REALLY?
- I'M TELLING YOU,

YOU'VE DROPPED

A HELL OF A LOT OF WEIGHT,
A WORRYING AMOUNT OF WEIGHT.

- WHAT ARE WE HAVING?

THE ARTICLE THAT WAS LEAKED

HAD SOME VERY SPECIFIC
INFORMATION IN IT

REGARDING MY WEIGHT LOSS,

AND IT'S A TOPIC
THAT LISA CANNOT SEEM

TO LET GO OF.

I FIND THAT
A LITTLE COINCIDENTAL.

- I'M SERIOUS.
WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THAT.

- GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE.

IT MEANS A LOT TO ME

THAT YOU ALL CAME OUT TONIGHT

TO SUPPORT SOMETHING
THAT IS SO IMPORTANT.

WE ARE HERE TONIGHT

TO HONOR, CELEBRATE,

RAISE MONEY FOR THE LOLLIPOP
THEATER NETWORK.

AND I REALLY THANK YOU

FOR MAKING THE EFFORT TO BE HERE

AND TO SUPPORT ME AS YOUR FRIEND
AND THIS REALLY IMPORTANT CAUSE.

THANK YOU. [applause]

MY HUSBAND HAS BEEN WAITING
FOR HIS MOMENT TO TALK TONIGHT.

- I'M GONNA TELL
A QUICK STORY, OKAY?

WHEN MY WIFE TOLD ME
WHAT WE WERE RAISING MONEY FOR,

KIDS WITH CANCER,

IT ACTUALLY REALLY TOUCHED
MY HEART

BECAUSE I WAS BORN
WITH A CANCEROUS BLOOD DISEASE

CALLED NEUTROPENIA.

3% OF THE CHILDREN
THAT ARE BORN WITH THIS THING

ARE CURED, AND SO I SPENT

THE FIRST, LIKE, SIX YEARS
OF MY LIFE,

LIKE, BASICALLY, LIKE,
IN HOSPITALS,

GETTING CHECKED, BLOOD WORK.

I MEAN, JUST ABSOLUTELY,
LIKE, CRAZY STUFF,

AND I'M JUST SO PROUD FOR YOU
TO HAVE MADE THIS,

AND I REALLY WANT TO HELP,
YOU KNOW, ALL THE CHILDREN.

[cheers and applause]

WE RAISED ABOUT $15,000,

A GOOD AMOUNT OF MONEY
FOR THESE CHILDREN WHO ARE ILL.

[cheers and applause]

AM I GONNA FIT?

- SMILE.

- YOU'RE A GOOD FRIEND
OF TAYLOR'S.

- YES, I AM.
- THAT'S HOW YOU'RE CONNECTED.

- THAT'S RIGHT.
AND NOW I'M A GOOD FRIEND

OF YOURS. CHEERS.
- ALL RIGHT. OKAY.

I'M VERY WORRIED
ABOUT THIS YOUNG LADY HERE.

- YEAH, SO...
- I'M SERIOUSLY WORRIED.

EVERY TIME I SEE YOU,

YOU'RE IN TEARS.

SOMETHING REALLY SERIOUS
IS GOING ON WITH YOU.

AND I'M VERY CONCERNED
ABOUT YOUR ARMS.

I'M VERY CONCERNED
ABOUT HOW YOU'RE LOOKING.

OKAY?

IN TWO WEEKS,
I'VE SEEN YOU DROP TEN POUNDS.

AND YOU NEEDED
TO PUT ON TEN POUNDS BEFORE.

I KNOW SHE'S SEEING LIFE COACHES
AND THERAPISTS,

BUT THE ONE THING
I AM AWARE OF IS,

EVERY TIME I SEE HER,
SHE'S EMOTIONAL

AND SHE'S A FEW POUNDS LIGHTER.

YOU NEED TO EAT. - I AM EATING.

- YOU'RE NOT EATING, TAYLOR.
- I'M EATING.

- TAYLOR, YOU ADMITTED TO ME
YOU'RE NOT EATING.

- WHEN I'M STRESSED,
I DON'T EAT.

- BUT YOU'RE STRESSED
MOST OF THE TIME.

- IF YOU'RE WITH SOMEONE
AT A CHARITY EVENT,

YOU DON'T BRING UP THEIR WEIGHT.

I MEAN, I JUST DON'T THINK
IT'S NICE.

- YOU KNOW WE HAVEN'T
ALWAYS BEEN GOOD FRIENDS.

YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT?

AND I AM SERIOUSLY CONCERNED
ABOUT YOU.

I'VE NEVER BEEN
A HUGE FAN OF TAYLOR.

I'VE BEEN HONEST ABOUT THAT.

JUST BECAUSE I'M NOT
SOMEBODY'S GREATEST FAN

DOESN'T MEAN, IF I SEE
THAT THEY'RE IN TROUBLE,

I CAN'T REACH OUT A HAND
TO HELP THEM.

IF YOU NEED TO GET
THE [bleep] OUT OF THERE,

THEN YOU DO IT NOW,
AND YOU REGROUP.

I'M NOT SAYING I'M MASQUERADING
AS YOUR BEST FRIEND.

I'M JUST SAYING, RIGHT NOW,

IF YOU NEED SOMETHING
SORTING OUT, I'LL HELP YOU.

- "YOU KNOW I'M NOT YOUR FRIEND,

"BUT MY HOME IS OPEN TO YOU.

"YOU KNOW I'M NOT YOUR FRIEND,

"BUT SHARE WHAT'S GOING ON
WITH ME

IN YOUR MOST INNER,
PERSONAL THOUGHTS."

I MEAN, WHO DOES THIS?

LET'S GO TO A SILENT AUCTION.
THANK YOU, THOUGH.

- AWESOME.

THAT'D BE FUN.

- TAYLOR, GET YOUR SKINNY ASS
OVER TO MY HOUSE

AND LET'S SORT YOURSELF OUT.

END OF STORY.

[upbeat music]

♪♪ ♪♪

- LET'S GO OVER THERE.
- YEAH?

- LET'S GO OVER THERE.

- I LOVE THAT.

- HEY, DO YOU HAVE ANY FOOD?

- WHO'S THAT?
- I DON'T KNOW. SHE'S TALL.

- HI.

- THIS IS BRANDI.
THIS IS TAYLOR.

- HI. IT'S SO NICE... DON'T EVEN.

- OKAY.
- I INVITED A FRIEND OF MINE

TO KYLE'S CHARITY EVENT,

THINKING THAT SHE HAS JUST GONE
THROUGH A DIVORCE,

AND I WANTED TO JUST KIND
OF SHOW HER A GOOD TIME.

- WHAT HAPPENED?

- YOU KNOW WHAT, THOSE HAPPENED.

I JUST HAD
SOME REALLY HIGH SHOES ON,

AND I WENT DOWN. - TOOK A... YEAH.

- NOT FUN.
- I'M SURPRISED

IT HASN'T HAPPENED TO US.
- I KNOW.

I KNOW, RIGHT? EXACTLY.

- SHE'S WITH ADRIENNE.

HI. HOW ARE YOU?

- HI, HI, HI.
- WHAT'S GOING ON?

- WHO'S THE GIRL?
- WHAT?

- WHO'S THAT GIRL?
- THAT'S BRANDI.

- BRANDI, I'VE SEEN PICTURES
IN SOME GOSSIP COLUMN

OF HER HANGING OUT WITH CEDRIC.

SO MY FEATHERS
ARE A LITTLE RUFFLED

BEFORE I EVEN START.

- IF YOU HAVE A BROKEN LEG,

WOULD YOU REALLY PUT A STILETTO
WITH IT?

PLEASE.

[chatter]

- HI. I FELT BAD FOR YOU.

- IT'S HARD TO STAND UP
AND SOCIALIZE RIGHT NOW.

- I'VE DONE PLENTY
OF DUMB THINGS, SO...

- I JUST...
- WELL, HOW LONG DO YOU HAVE

TO WEAR THE CAST?
- I DON'T KNOW.

THIS IS MY SECOND ONE.

SO... ALREADY.
I'VE ONLY BEEN ON IT

FOR TWO WEEKS, 'CAUSE MY KIDS,
THEY JUMP ALL OVER ME.

- HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU HAVE?

- TWO. I WAS MARRIED

TO THE NUMBER ONE DOUCHE BAG
OF ALL TIME.

HIS NAME... I'M KIDDING.
NO, NOT REALLY.

EDDIE CIBRIAN. HE'S AN ACTOR.

"ACTOR."
HE'S REALLY GOOD-LOOKING.

THAT'S WHAT HE DOES.

- I'M HAVING A BIRTHDAY PARTY

FOR MY DAUGHTER IN A FEW WEEKS,

AND I'D LOVE FOR YOU TO COME
AND BRING YOUR KIDS.

- I WOULD LOVE TO.
THEY LOVE LITTLE GIRLS.

- SO YOU GUYS SHOULD COME.
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW

YOU AND ADRIENNE WERE FRIENDS.

YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.
- WELL, THANK YOU.

- I HAVE TO DO

THE SILENT AUCTION ACTUALLY.

SORRY.

[thumping music]

♪♪ ♪♪

- AND THIS IS BRANDI.
- HI.

HI. - BRANDI, LISA.

LISA, BRANDI. KYLE, BRANDI.

BRANDI, THIS IS KYLE.
- NICE TO MEET YOU.

- WHAT I LIKE ABOUT BRANDI

IS THAT SHE SPEAKS HER MIND.

I DON'T KNOW HOW THE OTHER GIRLS

ARE GONNA FEEL ABOUT THAT.
- AM I MISTAKEN

OR ARE YOU FRIENDLY WITH CEDRIC?

- NO, I AM.
- UH-HUH.

BUT RECENTLY?

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

15 YEARS AGO,
WE MODELED TOGETHER...

- OH.
- IN PARIS AND LONDON,

AND THEN RECENTLY WE...

- YEAH, I SAW SOME PICTURES

OF YOU TWO TOGETHER.

AFTER WHAT CEDRIC DID TO US,

I DON'T WANT
TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO

PARTICULARLY WITH ANYBODY
THAT'S FRIENDS WITH HIM.

- IT WAS LIKE I CROSSED
INTO ENEMY TERRITORY.

YES, I'M FRIENDLY WITH CEDRIC.

IT DOESN'T DEFINE ME
AS A PERSON.

- LISA'S NOT A FAN OF THIS ONE.

SHE'S FRIENDS WITH CEDRIC.
- NO, NO, 15 YEARS AGO.

I ASKED HER, AND IT'S NOT TRUE.

- ALL RIGHT,
SO I'M FINDING MY WINE GUY.

- WHAT IS WITH BRANDI?

- HER HUSBAND LEFT HER
FOR LEANN RIMES.

- RIGHT.

- THAT'S HER CLAIM TO FAME.

- OH, YOU'RE IN A MOOD TONIGHT.

- NO, I'M JUST SAYING,
THAT'S THE TRUTH.

I THINK ALL OF US
WERE FEELING A LITTLE DEFENSIVE

FOR LISA.

THIS IS A DIRECT LINK TO CEDRIC.

PAUL. PAUL.

HOW DO YOU KNOW BRANDI?

I HAVE HEARD
THAT HER MANNY IS CEDRIC.

- IN BEVERLY HILLS,
YOUNGER AND PRETTIER WOMEN

ARE OFTEN MET
WITH HOSTILITY AND JEALOUSY.

NO, THAT'S A BUNCH
OF BULL[bleep].

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN? THAT'S NOT...

- I HAVE HEARD
THAT HER MANNY IS CEDRIC.

- SHE HASN'T...
I DON'T THINK SHE'S SEEN HIM

IN, LIKE, 15 YEARS.

- THAT'S NOT TRUE.

- MY LITTLE BUTTERCUP,
THERE IS PICTURES OF THEM

ON THE INTERNET TOGETHER.

- WHERE?
- HAVING LUNCH IN BEVERLY HILLS.

PICTURES OF THEM HAVING LUNCH...

- THEY USED TO WORK TOGETHER.
- NOT 15 YEARS AGO,

MY LITTLE BUTTERCUP.
IT WAS, LIKE, TWO WEEKS AGO.

- WHO GIVES A [bleep]?
- I DON'T,

BUT LISA DOESN'T EXACTLY LOVE
THAT SITUATION.

- SHOULD I THEN TAKE HER HOME
RIGHT NOW

AND GET HER OUT OF HERE?

Both: NO!

- WELL, THEN LET ME
ASK YOU A QUESTION.

WHY IS SHE OVER THERE
TALKING TO HER?

- YEAH, WHY IS LISA
ALL OF A SUDDEN TALKING TO HER?

- BECAUSE LISA WANTS TO STAY
ON TOP OF A SITUATION.

- WITH THE WOMEN,
WHETHER IT'S GOSSIP

OR AN ARGUMENT,

IT STARTS LIKE THIS,
AND THEN IT ESCALATES.

- SHE'D RATHER KNOW
WHAT'S GOING ON...

- KEEP YOUR ENEMIES...
- YEAH, KEEP YOUR ENEMIES CLOSE.

- COMING UP...

- JUST SO YOU KNOW, THOUGH,

HE'S NEVER SAID A BAD THING
TO ME ABOUT YOU.

- WHAT COULD HE POSSIBLY SAY
THAT WAS BAD?

- NO, I'M JUST SAYING.
- "OH, MY GOD.

"THEY TOOK ME ON VACATIONS
AND LET ME LIVE

IN THEIR MANSION FOR TWO YEARS."

- ELLIOT MINTZ.
- I'M HOPING THAT ELLIOT MINTZ

CAN HELP ME FIGURE OUT
WHO LEAKED

MY PERSONAL INFORMATION
TO THE PRESS.

LIKE, A GROUP OF PEOPLE
WERE TOGETHER,

AND THEN, THE NEXT THING I KNOW,

DETAILS ABOUT THAT GROUP

WERE IN THE PRESS.

- THE BEST WAY IS TO GO
TO THE HEAD OF THE RATTLESNAKE,

NOT THE TAIL.

- OKAY.
- YOU AT LEAST ASK,

"DID YOU REPEAT ANYTHING

ABOUT MY PRIVATE BUSINESS?"

AND LISTEN TO THE TONE
OF THEIR VOICE

WHEN THEY SAY, "I KNEW NOTHING
ABOUT WATERGATE,"

"I DID NOT HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS
WITH THAT INTERN."

- I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

THANK YOU.

[chatter]

[laughter]

- BRANDI KNOWS CEDRIC.

- YOU KNOW CEDRIC?
- I DO.

- HOW DO YOU KNOW CEDRIC?
- FROM MODELING.

- DID HE BORROW MONEY FROM YOU?

- NO.

ARE YOU GUYS FRIENDS?

- YEAH, WE'RE FRIENDLY.

I MEAN, IT'S NOT
MY DEFINING MOMENT IN LIFE

KNOWING HIM. I MEAN...

IT'S... YES, I KNOW HIM,
AND THAT'S THAT.

I MEAN...
JUST SO YOU KNOW, THOUGH,

HE'S NEVER SAID A BAD THING
TO ME ABOUT YOU WHATSOEVER.

WE NEVER REALLY EVEN TALKED
ABOUT ANYTHING

THAT HAPPENED BETWEEN YOU GUYS,

JUST TO BE VERY CLEAR.

- WHAT COULD HE POSSIBLY SAY
THAT WAS BAD?

- NO, I'M JUST SAYING...
- "OH, MY GOD.

"THEY TOOK ME VACATIONS
AND LET ME LIVE

IN THEIR MANSION FOR TWO YEARS."

- SO, WAIT, WAS HE A FREELOADER?
WHAT HAPPENED?

- SHE JUST NEEDS TO LET IT GO.

I MEAN, SERIOUSLY.

GET OVER IT, MOVE ON.

WHAT? HOW OLD IS SHE? 60?

LIKE, SHE SHOULDN'T BE ACTING
THAT WAY.

- I'VE MOVED ON, BUT IT'S FINE.

BUT IT WAS FUNNY
THERE WAS THAT CONNECTION.

- YEAH.
- SMALL WORLD.

- SOMETIMES TOO SMALL.

- ALL RIGHT.
EXCUSE ME, YOU GUYS.

- IT'S HUDDLE TIME.
- WHAT HAPPENED?

- THIS IS REALLY WEIRD TO ME.

- WHY WOULD YOU WEAR A STILETTO
WHEN YOU HAVE A BROKEN LEG?

EXCUSE ME. [overlapping chatter]

- I'M GONNA TOP THAT.

WHEN YOU'VE ALREADY BROKEN
YOUR LEG ONCE OFF ANOTHER SHOE...

- SHE BROKE HER LEG WHEN SHE
FELL OFF HER SHOE.

- YOU DON'T LEARN YOUR LESSON.

- WOULD YOU SUE LOUBOUTIN?

[laughter]

- 'CAUSE SHE FELL OFF HER SHOE.

- THAT WAS SO MEAN.

LET'S HAVE A MOMENT OF SILENCE
FOR HER TRIPPING ON A HIGH HEEL.

- AW.

- FRIENDLY GALS.

YOU GET WHAT YOU GIVE IN LIFE.

AND YOU GIVE OFF,
LIKE, BITCHINESS,

YOU'RE GETTING IT BACK.

AND I'M PRETTY GOOD
AT BEING A BITCH.

[chatter and laughter]

- LOVE IT.

- NEXT ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES
OF BEVERLY HILLS...

- YEAH! WHOO-HOO!

- OKAY, I'M LOVING
THE SUNGLASSES.

- OH, DID YOU KNOW, $25,000?

- MOST PEOPLE THAT HAVE
A LOT OF MONEY

DON'T REALLY BRAG TOO MUCH
ABOUT IT?

AND THAT'S THE HONEST TRUTH.

INSANE. - THAT'S RIGHT.

- I GET THAT FEELING
THAT YOU GUYS THINK

I'M, LIKE, A SUPER SLUT,
BUT I'M REALLY NOT.

- NO.
- I DO NOW.

NOW THAT YOU SAID THAT.

TAYLOR IS COMPLETELY VANISHING.

- WHEN YOU'RE GETTING A DIVORCE,
LIKE, YOU EAT ALL DAY LONG,

BUT YOU GET REALLY SKINNY.
- IS SHE GETTING A DIVORCE?