The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2010–…): Season 2, Episode 18 - A Day Late, an Apology Short - full transcript

- PREVIOUSLY ON THE REAL
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...

- YOU KNOW GIGGY CAN'T GO
TO HAWAII.

- WELL,
YOU BETTER TELL HIM THAT,

'CAUSE HE'S ALL READY. LOOK.

- WHERE'S KIM?

- KIM IS M.I.A. AS USUAL.

HOPEFULLY SHE'S BREAKING UP
WITH HER BOYFRIEND.

- I'M ON THE PHONE WITH BETTE,
BOOKING IT NOW.

- OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU THERE.
HOPEFULLY.

LOVE YOU. BYE.

- WHAT DID SHE SAY?
WHAT DID SHE...



THAT SHE'S BOOKING IT NOW?
- [screams]

[laughter]

- AH. ALOHA.

- IT LOOKS SO BEAUTIFUL.

- SO PRETTY, HUH?

- I TOOK A XANAX, AND IT HIT ME
AFTER A COUPLE DRINKS.

- GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY HUSBAND.

DO I HAVE TO COME OVER THERE?
FOR [bleep] SAKE.

- [laughs]
- RIGHT?

- I HOPE
THAT SHE MAKES HER FLIGHT.

- SHE DIDN'T COME IN WITH YOU?
- NO.

- [sighs]

- THIS IS JUST RIDICULOUS.

BY THE TIME SHE GETS HERE,
WE'LL BE GOING HOME.



- OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T WANT
TO BE HERE.

SHE COULD HAVE JUST TOLD ME
FLAT OUT FROM THE BEGINNING,

"I DON'T WANT TO GO."
SHE'S IN AN AGGRESSIVE MOOD,

AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S
GONNA BE LIKE

WHEN SHE GETS HERE.

- HI, LADIES. IT'S TAYLOR.

MY MARRIAGE IS OVER.

[upbeat music]

- LIFE IN BEVERLY HILLS
IS A GAME,

AND I MAKE THE RULES.

- I'M NOT THE RICHEST GIRL
IN BEVERLY HILLS,

BUT I AM THE LUCKIEST.

- PEOPLE TRY TO FIGURE ME OUT,

BUT I'M ONE OF A KIND.

- I'VE FINALLY FOUND MY VOICE,

AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT.

- HAVING IT ALL IS EASY,

IF YOU'RE WILLING TO WORK
FOR IT.

- DIAMONDS AREN'T
A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND.

FREEDOM IS.

- HOLD ON NOW.
WHICH WAY ARE WE GOING?

- TO THE LEFT.

- THAT'S SWEETHEART ROCK, MAYBE.

LOOK AT THAT.

[speaks Hawaiian] - SOUNDS GOOD.

- SOME KIND OF A NAME
LIKE THAT OR SOMETHING.

LOOK AT THAT OVER THERE.

I WONDER IF WE CAN GO
TO THE EDGE OF THAT OVER THERE.

- DON'T PUSH ME OVER.

IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME
SINCE PAUL AND I

HAVE ACTUALLY HELD HANDS.

I'D PROBABLY SAY...

I DON'T KNOW, YEARS.

THAT'S REALLY BAD.

THIS IS ALL WEEDS.

- CAN I SEE IT?
YOU WANT TO SEE IT?

- NO, IT'S GONNA BE
FULL OF SNAKES.

- THERE'S NO SNAKES OUT HERE.
- ARE YOU SURE?

- YEAH, IT'S A TRAIL.
IT'S A SMALL TRAIL.

- OH, MY GOSH, THIS WATER.

I'VE NEVER SEEN WATER
SO BEAUTIFUL.

- BABY.

- IT WAS ROMANTIC, YEAH.

- ACTUALLY THIS IS NICE.

MAYBE WE SHOULD DO THAT MORE.

- BUT I COULDN'T BE THERE FOR
LONGER THAN, LIKE, TEN MINUTES.

I'D GET BORED.
- THERE'S NO SNAKES HERE.

- HOW DO YOU KNOW?
- HAWAII, THERE'S NO SNAKES.

- HOW DO YOU KNOW?
- 'CAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE

ANY RATTLESNAKES.
- NOT RATTLESNAKES.

THEY HAVE OTHER SNAKES.

- UHH...
- YEAH, THEY DO.

- HOW ARE YOU?

- NOT BAD. AND YOURSELF?

- BETTER NOW THAT I'M HERE.
Both: ALOHA.

- WELCOME
TO THE FOUR SEASONS LANAI.

Both: THANK YOU.

- WHOO.
PEOPLE ARE LATE SOMETIMES.

PEOPLE MISS PLANES. IT HAPPENS.

OOPS.

WOULD YOU PLEASE SPEED IT UP?

I'M EXCITED TO BE IN HAWAII.

[laughter]

- COME ON IN PLEASE.

OVER HERE TO THE LEFT PLEASE.

- DO I HEAR MY SISTER'S VOICE?
- PERFECT.

- HONEY,
I JUST HEARD KIM'S VOICE.

- THANK YOU.

- I HAVE TO PEEK
THROUGH THE PEEPHOLE.

- THANK YOU SO MUCH.

- OH, MY GOD, I THINK HER ROOM
IS RIGHT NEXT TO MINE.

- OOH-LA-LA.

- WOW.
- THANK YOU.

- YOU'RE VERY WELCOME.

- IT'S NICE.
- WOW. VERY PRETTY.

- THIS IS A BIG HOTEL.

DID THEY HAVE TO PUT HER
IN THE ROOM RIGHT NEXT-DOOR?

- CHOCOLATE-COVERED PINEAPPLE?

- YEAH.
- ONLY IN HAWAII.

ONLY IN LANAI.

- THANK YOU SO MUCH.

ALOHA, MAHALO.

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- SHH.

- HONEY, COME OVER HERE

AND CHEERS WITH ME MY BIRTHDAY.

DO A TOAST WITH ME.

- I JUST WANT TO HEAR
ONE SECOND.

- [chuckles]

- THEY'RE RIGHT
IN THE NEXT ROOM.

- I KNOW THAT.
YOU CAN ACTUALLY, LIKE...

RIGHT, AND OUR BALCONIES,
LIKE, CONNECT.

- IT'S ROMANTIC.

- IT IS.

- [sighs]

- GO PROWLING.

- BEFORE WE ARRIVED,
KYLE AND I HAD

SOME WORDS BACK AND FORTH
ON THE PHONE.

- HER DRIVER'S LICENSE
IS EXPIRED.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID
YOU FIXED THAT,

'CAUSE I ASKED YOU TO GO
TO THE DMV WITH ME,

AND YOU SAID, NO,
YOU ALREADY FIXED THAT.

- WELL, I LIED TO YOU.

I CHOSE TO NOT TALK TO KYLE,

SO I COULD TAKE THAT TIME
FOR ME.

EVER NOTICE ON THE DUCKS,

THE MALE DUCKS ARE PRETTIER
THAN THE WOMEN DUCKS?

- YES. THAT'S NOT THE CASE HERE.

- [laughs]

- IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE
IF MAYBE SHE HAD COME TO MY ROOM

AND SAID,
"HEY, I'M FINALLY HERE."

- LOVE YOU.
- CHEERS. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HON.

- LET'S HAVE FUN, OKAY?

- WE'LL HAVE A LOT OF FUN
TONIGHT.

OKAY? - MWAH.

- WE'RE GONNA HAVE
A TON, A TON OF FUN.

OH!

- [laughs]

- NOT THAT MUCH FUN.

- KEN?
- YUP.

- WE'VE GOT TO HURRY, DARLING.
WE'RE LATE.

- DARLING, I'M THE ONE
WHO'S READY, I THINK.

- IT'S OUR SECOND GLORIOUS NIGHT
IN HAWAII,

AND KYLE HAS ARRANGED

A BIRTHDAY DINNER FOR MAURICIO.

- HONEY, USE YOUR STRENGTH.

DON'T ACT
LIKE IT'S SO HARD TO CLOSE.

[laughter]

I HATE WHEN YOU DO THAT TO ME.

[knock at door]

- OH, FOR GOODNESS' SAKE,
WHO'S THAT?

- ROOM SERVICE.

- OH, BLOODY HELL.

- HELLO.
- HEY, I'M IN HERE.

- ...BARGE RIGHT IN. HELLO?

- ARE YOU GUYS READY YET?
- HOW ARE YOU?

MWAH. MY SISTER'S ROOM

IS RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO MINE.

I CAN HEAR... OH, THAT'S PRETTY,

THE PINK AND THE GREEN.
- THANK YOU, DARLING.

- KIM AND KEN.
- YOU CAN?

YOU CAN HEAR THEM HUMPING
AS WELL?

- SHUT UP!

[speaks indistinctly]

- OKAY.

[sea shell horn blares]

- I'M KIDDING.

THIS IS GONNA BE FUN.
- HOW ARE YOU?

- SORRY.
I'M GOING TO THE GIRLS FIRST.

- OKAY, IT'S FINE...
- AND THEN THE BOYS.

I'M KIDDING. I'M JUST KIDDING.

- YOU KNOW WHO'S...
- GO ON THEN.

GET IT OVER AND DONE WITH.

- HELLO.
- I DIDN'T WANT TO LIKE BRANDI.

I GAVE IT MY BEST SHOT

BECAUSE SHE WAS HOOKED
INTO THE C-WORD, CEDRIC.

FOR SOME REASON,
I FIND HER VERY FUNNY.

- YOU'RE HIJACKING MY COLOR.
- NO!

- YES.
- YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SHARE.

- OKAY. NO, I DON'T THINK SO.

[indistinct chatter]

- MWAH.
- HOW ARE YOU?

- HELLO. YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME

YOU WERE WEARING WHITE.

I WOULDN'T HAVE WORN WHITE.
- OH, I DON'T CARE.

IT'S NOT LIKE I'M A BRIDE.

- ALOHA, LADIES.

- OH, MY GOODNESS.

[speaks indistinctly]

- I'M HERE TO TAKE YOU LADIES
TO THE DINNER.

SO, AS SOON AS I BLOW,

THEN FOLLOW ME.

- THAT'S WHAT THEY ALL SAY.

[laughter]

[sea shell horn blares]

- OH, THIS IS SO PRETTY.

I LOVE THIS.

OH, I LOVE THIS.

MWAH.

- THANK YOU.
- OH, I LOVE THIS.

- BEAUTIFUL.

[laughter]

- CHEERS TO YOU.
- CHEERS.

- AND ME.
- TO US AND OUR CHILDREN.

- ENJOY YOUR DINNER.

All: THANK YOU.

- MAHALO.
- FANTASTIC.

- CAMILLE.

- OH, MY GOSH, THAT COVE.

- YOU KNOW WHAT...

- EVERYBODY HAS TO HAVE
A SHOT OF TEQUILA.

- OH, MY GOD, MAURICIO'S
MAKING EVERYONE HAVE A SHOT

FOR HIS BIRTHDAY.

- HI.

- ALOHA.
THAT'S WHAT I MEANT TO SAY.

ALOHA. - HELLO.

- THANK YOU. DON'T YOU GET ME
ON BOTH SIDES?

- YEAH.
- RIGHT. OKAY.

THANK YOU.

WOW. OH, LOOK AT YOUR LEI.

[laughs] - NO, YOU'RE MY LAY.

- HELLO! all: ALOHA.

- HELLO, HELLO.
- HOW ARE YOU?

- GOOD. NICE TO SEE YOU.
- WHAT THE HECK?

IT'S LIKE PLANES,
TRAINS AND AUTOMOBILES.

WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG
TO GET HERE?

- HE HAD TO WORK.

- HI.
- YOU LOOK GORGEOUS.

- THANK YOU.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

THAT'S WHY YOU MISSED
YOUR FLIGHT?

SHE CAN'T FIND HER LICENSE,

THEN HER LICENSE IS EXPIRED,

THEN SHE COULDN'T FIND
HER PASSPORT,

AND NOW SHE'S TELLING ME
THAT KEN WAS WORKING?

I THOUGHT HE WAS RETIRED.

- HE JUST HAD TO WORK,
SO WE GOT DELAYED.

[indistinct]

AND SO WE JUST HAD...
THAT WAS IT.

NO BIG STORY. THAT'S IT.

[chatter]

- I THOUGHT KEN WAS RETIRED.

- HE IS. ONE DAY A WEEK.

AND IT'S THE DAY
HE HAD TO GO IN.

HI, AGAIN.
- YOU SHOULD DO THE GREEN LEI.

- THANK YOU.

WE JUST SAID HE HAD TO WORK,

BECAUSE IT WAS EASIER
THAN EXPLAINING

A WHOLE I COULDN'T FIND,
YOU KNOW, MY DRIVER'S LICENSE

AND TRYING TO FIND THE PASSPORT.

SO WE JUST, YOU KNOW, JUST...

I SAID HE HAD TO WORK.

- SO ANYWAY I WAS ABOUT
TO MAKE A TOAST.

AS WE SAY IN MEXICO,

AND ON EVERYBODY'S BIRTHDAY,

YOU SAY, "ARRIBA!"

all: ARRIBA!

[all speaking Spanish]

- WHAT DOES THAT MEAN
FOR GOD'S SAKE?

- IT MEANS DRINKING. SHUT UP.

[hacking]

- KEN, I'M SO SORRY.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND SOMETHING.

WHAT HAPPENED... WHAT HAPPENED

THAT ALL OF A SUDDEN
YOU HAD WORK?

I JUST... YOU HAD TO WORK THAT DAY

KNOWING THAT WE WERE LEAVING?
- NO...

- HE ONLY WORKS ONE DAY A WEEK.

- I WORKED WEDNESDAY.
- HE'S RETIRED.

- I UNDERSTAND THAT.
- I WORKED WEDNESDAY.

- BUT WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND

IS THAT, WHEN WE WERE
ALL ON THE PHONE,

IN THE AIRPORT,
NONE OF THAT HAD COME UP.

I MEAN, YOU GUYS
WERE ON YOUR WAY.

- WELL, WE'RE TELLING YOU NOW.

IT'S VERY SIMPLE.

THAT'S IT. YOU'RE KNOWING NOW.

- SO THAT'S THE STORY?
- THAT'S THE STORY.

- I DON'T BELIEVE
KEN HAD TO WORK AT ALL.

THAT'S NONSENSE.
- SO YOU'RE QUESTIONING

THE STORY, IS THAT WHAT YOU...
- HIS LEG WAS SHAKING.

HIS ARM WAS SHAKING
UNDERNEATH THE TABLE

WHEN MAURICIO KEPT ASKING HIM
WHAT'S GOING ON.

- WHY ARE YOU SO WORRIED
ABOUT ME?

ENJOY YOURSELF. YOU'RE
NOT ENJOYING YOUR OWN LIFE.

I'M NOT GONNA GO BACK
TO YESTERDAY OR WHY. WHATEVER.

WE'RE HERE, SO...
- THAT'S BULL[bleep].

- OVER HERE.
- IT'S NOT BULL[bleep].

- IT IS BULL[bleep].
- OKAY.

- IT'S BULL[bleep].

- LET ME GIVE YOU
A KISS, PLEASE.

I WANT A KISS FROM YOU.

I WANT ONE.
'CAUSE YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL.

- LET ME GIVE YOU
A KISS, PLEASE.

[giggles]

- COMING UP...
- WHEN YOU'RE 36 HOURS LATE

TO A BIRTHDAY PARTY,
IF YOU FESS UP...

- THERE'S NOTHING
TO FESS UP WITH, MAURICE.

- DO YOU FIND THAT ROMANTIC?

[laughter]

- OH, GOOD LORD.

- THIS IS SOMETHING
THAT THE CHEF HAS...

- IT LOOKS AMAZING.
- THIS IS OUR HEIRLOOM TOMATOES.

- WHAT'S THIS?
- THAT'S SALT.

- I DON'T KNOW, BUT IT'S GOOD,
WHATEVER IT IS.

TAYLOR TOLD US TODAY
THAT SHE LEFT RUSSELL.

- SHE DID?
- REALLY?

IS THAT BECAUSE SHE WANTS
TO COME TO THE NEXT DINNER?

NO, I'M TEASING.

THAT'S HORRIBLE.

I MEAN, I FEEL BAD.

BUT IT WAS COMING, RIGHT?

- I THINK... I DON'T KNOW.

- THEY'LL BE BACK TOGETHER
IN TWO WEEKS.

- REALLY?
- YEAH.

- YOU KNOW THEM BETTER THAN US.

- I THINK YOU'RE WRONG
THIS TIME.

- REALLY?

- YOU FEEL FOR HER
BUT YOU ALSO KNOW...

- BUT SHE'S LIKE THE BOY
WHO CRIED WOLF.

I WASN'T SURE
IF IT WAS FOR REAL.

I MEAN, SHE SAYS ONE THING,

AND THEN HER ACTIONS
ARE SOMETHING ELSE.

WE'VE HEARD THIS STORY...
- MANY, MANY TIMES.

- BUT I'VE NEVER HEARD HER
ACTUALLY SAY...

- I HAVE. I HAVE.

- IT'S THAT SHE WANTED TO LEAVE.

- SHE'S NEVER ACTUALLY SAID,
"I'VE LEFT."

- NO, SHE SAID HE WAS LEAVING
THAT DAY.

- YEAH, SHE DID. YEAH, SHE DID.

- ...IN MALIBU, SHE SAID
HE WAS DEFINITELY LEAVING

THAT DAY, AND SHE KNEW IT WAS...

- BUT TODAY SHE SAID,
"I'VE LEFT."

- PAUL SAYS TWO WEEKS.
- TWO WEEKS.

- YOU GIVE IT 48 HOURS.

- IT'S A BUNCH OF BULL[bleep]
ALL OVER.

- 48 HOURS.

- I AGREE.

- I AGREE WITH YOU.

- CHEERS.

[chatter]

- WE ORDERED THAT YESTERDAY.

- HEY, DO YOU MIND
IF I DO A TOAST?

- NO, WE'D LOVE FOR YOU
TO DO A TOAST.

- DO A TOAST.
- GOOD.

- TO MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE.
All: OHH.

- TO THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
I KNOW.

- THAT'S SO CUTE.
- TO MY BABY.

MY LITTLE BABY.

- SALUTE.

TO YOUR WIFE.

- OH.
- KISS HIM.

KISS HIM FOR GOD'S SAKE.

[laughter]

- NO, HE WAS LIKE THIS.

- HOLD ON.
THAT WAS LIKE THE QUICKEST KISS.

- DO IT AGAIN. I'VE NEVER SEEN
YOU GUYS DO THAT.

- SINCE 1963.

- DO IT AGAIN.
LET'S HAVE A LOOK.

[cheers]

- A LITTLE TONGUE ACTION...

- OH, MY GOD.

- GEE, MAYBE...
A LITTLE ACTION TONIGHT.

[laughter]

- IT'S A SLAM DUNK-AROO.

- THAT'S YOUR FIRST TIME, HUH?

- I THINK THAT PAUL AND ADRIENNE
ARE FREAKS.

HONESTLY, I THINK THEY GET IT ON

LIKE DONKEY KONG WITH OTHER
CHICKS AND MAYBE SOME DUDES.

- WOW.
- THIS ITEM HERE

IS OUR BEEF TENDERLOIN

WITH A SHORT-RIB TORTELLINI.
- NICE.

[chatter]

- WOULD ANYBODY
LIKE A COFFEE DRINK?

- IF YOU HAVE COFFEE,
THEN YOU COULD RUB ME ALL NIGHT.

- I'VE BEEN RUBBING IT ALL DAY.

- I KNOW. IT FEELS SO GOOD.

- DO YOU KNOW
WHAT I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH?

SHOWING UP AND ACTING LIKE...

both: LIKE EVERYTHING'S NORMAL.
- I CAN'T HANDLE THAT.

THAT'S NOT WHO I AM.
- YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE IT.

AND IF YOU CAN'T CHANGE IT,
YOU HAVE

TO SEPARATE YOURSELF FROM IT.
- YOU KNOW WHAT'S SCARY?

- DO YOU THINK YOU'LL CHANGE IT?

IN TEN YEARS TIME, DO YOU THINK
IT'LL BE ANY DIFFERENT, REALLY?

SO WHAT'S THE POINT
OF GETTING UPSET ABOUT IT?

- THAT YOU, LIKE,
WANT TO LIKE...

- I UNDERSTAND
KYLE'S FRUSTRATION,

BECAUSE SHE TAKES RESPONSIBILITY

FOR HER SISTER'S
IRRATIONAL BEHAVIOR.

OF COURSE IT'S GONNA MAKE HER
FEEL PISSED-OFF.

DON'T LET ANYBODY SEE YOU CRY.

DON'T CRY NOW.

- HE WANTS TO TALK
ABOUT NO FAT, NO CARBS.

[chatter]

- YOU KNOW HOW,
WHEN IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY,

YOU KIND OF TEND TO, LIKE,
YOU KNOW, REFLECT IN LIFE,

AND ONE OF THE PHILOSOPHIES

THAT I'VE BEEN DEALING...
LIVING WITH

THAT'S SO MUCH FUN IS ABOUT,
YOU KNOW, JUST BEING TRUE.

AND I JUST THOUGHT THAT
THAT WAS SUCH AN IMPORTANT

LESSON THAT I JUST WANTED US
TO KIND OF MAKE A TOAST TO IT.

SO HERE'S TO THE TRUTH.

- ARRIBA.

- CHEERS.
- SALUT.

- BRAVO.

- I MEAN, MAURICE WAS LIKE,

"JUST TELL THE TRUTH.
JUST TELL THE TRUTH.

THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE."

AND I'M THINKING...

"WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG
WITH YOU?"

I MEAN,
IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

I MEAN, HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

I'M SORRY I'M A FEW HOURS LATE,
BUT I'M HERE.

I'M NOT DOING THIS RIGHT NOW.

I'M HERE. WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT...

THIS IS NOT A TABLE DISCUSSION.

- YEAH, IT IS
A TABLE DISCUSSION.

IT'S... - WE'RE HERE.

- IF YOU JUST WANT
TO HAVE A BAD NIGHT,

THEN GO AHEAD
AND HAVE A BAD NIGHT.

I'M HERE NOW.

I'M... WE'RE HERE
TO ENJOY OURSELVES.

- HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME
TO ACT LIKE EVERYTHING'S FINE

AFTER EVERYTHING...
- 'CAUSE IT'S REALLY

NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL.
THAT'S THE REALITY.

IF YOU FESS UP...
- THAT'S RIGHT. SO THEN DROP IT.

THERE'S NOTHING TO FESS UP WITH,
MAURICE.

THERE'S NOTHING TO FESS UP WITH.

I DON'T HAVE TO...
THERE'S NOTHING TO FESS UP WITH.

- IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE,
KIM, AND THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING.

- I DON'T OWE YOU ANYTHING.
- YOU DON'T OWE ME ANYTHING.

YOU JUST OWE YOURSELF THE TRUTH
TO YOURSELF.

YOU OWE NOTHING TO ME.
- THAT'S RIGHT.

I'M HERE.
- SO YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF.

- I'M FINE.
- OKAY.

- AND FOR YOU TO SIT DOWN,
THE FIRST THING YOU DO

IS GO AFTER...
- HEY, NO OFFENSE...

- JUST LET IT GO.

- FIRST OF ALL,
WHEN YOU'RE 36 HOURS LATE

TO A BIRTHDAY PARTY,
THE NATURAL THING

WOULD BE TO SAY,
"HEY, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?"

BUT WHEN YOU FLAT OUT LIE,

IT MAKES TENSION
AND THEN NOBODY CAN HAVE FUN.

- THE BOTTOM LINE IS WE'RE HERE.

- OBVIOUSLY. OBVIOUSLY.

- WELL, WE'RE HAPPY
TO HAVE YOU HERE.

- WE'RE HERE. HI.
- HI.

- ARE WE WAITING
ON THE BUS FOR KIM?

ARE WE GOING?

- HOW CAN THEY BE SLEEPING
AT 3:00 PACIFIC STANDARD TIME?

- COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS.

[laughter]

- YOU GUYS, LISTEN,
THE BOAT IS GOING TO LEAVE.

I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE

MY HUSBAND'S BIRTHDAY RUINED
BECAUSE OF HER.

- IT'S JUST INSANE
TO TRAVEL SO FAR.

- AND THEN LAY
IN YOUR HOTEL ROOM.

I AGREE.

- WE HAVE CHARTERED A CATAMARAN

FOR THE DAY,
AND NOW WE HAVE BEEN WAITING

FOR KIM AND KEN FOR 20 MINUTES.

IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S 5:00
IN THE MORNING.

IT'S 11:00 A.M.

- "PRIVACY PLEASE."

RICHARDS.

I'M DONE WITH THIS NONSENSE.

- LET'S GO LOOK
THROUGH MY BALCONY.

- WE'RE NOT GOING TO SEE THEM
HUMPING OR ANYTHING.

- SHUT UP.
- I WANT TO SEE THEM HUMPING.

- NOBODY CALLS IT THAT.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
NOBODY CALLS IT THAT?

- IT'S OPEN A LITTLE BIT.

[Bleep].

- WAIT FOR ME. WAIT FOR ME.

- YOU'RE GONNA JUMP
IN THOSE HEELS?

ARE YOU CRAZY? - COME ON.

I'VE WORKED OUT IN THESE SHOES.

DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.

OH, MY ASS IS STUCK
IN THE THING.

HEY.

- I TOLD YOU TO STOP EATING.

[laughter]

YOU CAN'T SEE [indistinct].

- GET ME DOWN. GET ME...

[laughter]

GET ME DOWN.

- I'M SCARED. I'M SCARED.

- OH, COME ON.

WE'LL GIVE UP NOW.
WE'LL GO WITHOUT HER.

- WE'RE ALL WAITING FOR YOU.

IT'S 11:30. WE'RE WAITING
IN THE BUS FOR YOU.

- COME ON.

- THAT'S ALL I'M DOING.

- BE CAREFUL.

I MEAN, HOW DO YOU COPE
WITH THIS ON A DAY-TO-DAY BASIS?

HUH?

COME ON.

STAND BEHIND ME, YOU COWARD.

HEY. - HELLO?

- IT'S KYLE AND LISA.
- WHO?

- KYLE AND LISA.
- IT'S BOTH OF US.

- NO, ONLY KYLE IN THE BEDROOM.

- ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU
FOR HALF AN HOUR.

HOW LONG ARE YOU GONNA BE?

- I CAN'T HEAR THE ALARM CLOCK.

- WELL, WHEN? WHAT TIME...

- IT DIDN'T WORK
FOR WHEN WE SET IT FOR.

- YEAH, BUT WE'VE BEEN WAITING
FOR HALF AN HOUR.

WHAT?
- KYLE, COME IN HERE WITH US.

- NO...
- JUST HURRY UP.

THE BUS IS WAITING.

WELL, HOW LONG ARE YOU GONNA BE?

- TEN MINUTES IF I CAN FIND...

I'VE GOT TO FIND
THE BOTTOMS TO HER...

- GUYS, COME ON.

- I AM SORRY.

- YEAH,
BUT SORRY DOESN'T CUT IT.

- IT'S MY FAULT.
- OKAY, GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR.

- JESUS.

- I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU PUT UP
WITH THIS [bleep].

- COMING UP...
- THEY'RE LEAVING WITHOUT US.

[chuckles]

- KIM!

- SOMETIMES MAYBE SOMEBODY NEEDS
TO LEARN A LESSON.

- OKAY, YOU GUYS.

LET'S GO.
- NOW WHAT? SHE'S NOT COMING?

- NO, WE'RE
JUST GONNA LEAVE HER.

- OH, MY LORD.
- LET'S GO.

YEAH. - WHAT IS SHE DOING?

- BECAUSE SHE'S STILL SLEEPING.
- SHE'S SLEEPING.

- I'M SORRY THAT YOU ALL HAD
TO WAIT LIKE THIS.

I APOLOGIZE ON BEHALF...
- OKAY, SO LET'S GO.

- ALL RIGHT, LET'S JUST GO.

- BECAUSE SHE COULD HAVE GONE
BACK TO BED.

- IT WAS VERY GENEROUS
OF US TO WAIT AN HOUR.

- IT WAS THE SECOND DAY
THIS WEEK

THAT HE ACTUALLY HAD TO WORK.

- NOW MAKE SURE
IT WAS A LEAP YEAR.

- THERE'S THE CATAMARAN
RIGHT THERE.

- OH, WE'RE GOING ON A TRIL...
- TRILOGY VI.

- I DON'T SEE.
- THAT'S A NICE BOAT.

- OH, THEY MIGHT BE HERE,
THOUGH.

- YAY.

- OH, THANK GOD.

[chatter]

- HOW ARE YOU? THANK YOU.

DO YOU LIKE MY BOATING SHOES?
THANKS.

[giggles]

LOOK HOW PRETTY THAT IS
OVER THERE.

I'M SO EXCITED TO BE HERE.

- SO PRETTY.

- ARE YOU GUYS
TAKING YOUR TOPS OFF?

- LOOK AT THESE.
- LOOK AT THOSE.

- [laughs]

THEY'RE NOTHING
COMPARED TO THOSE.

- YEAH, AND LOOK AT THESE.

NOTHING.

- WELCOME ABOARD.

- COME ON.

- CATAMARAN DAY.

- [sighs]

I'M A VIRGO.

I'M USUALLY VERY PROMPT.

I CAN'T STAND...
I'M USUALLY FIVE MINUTES EARLY.

WE CALLED FOR A WAKE-UP CALL,
BUT WHAT WE REALIZED LATER...

WE NEVER GOT THE WAKE-UP CALL.

AND WE DIDN'T KNOW WHY, BUT
THE PHONE DOESN'T... DIDN'T RING.

I ONLY REALIZED THAT, LIKE,
THE THIRD OR FOURTH DAY.

- THE SHUTTLE HAS LEFT ALREADY.

WE HAVE A VEHICLE RIGHT HERE
THAT CAN TAKE YOU.

- PERFECT.
- ALL RIGHT. NICE SEEING YOU.

ALL RIGHT. TAKE CARE.

[sighs]

OH, MY CONTACT LENSES
ARE HURTING.

COME OVER HERE. [grunts]

YOU OKAY?

I DON'T LIKE
BEING WOKEN UP LIKE THAT.

- ISN'T IT FUN?

- [laughing] YEAH.

- I'M A MARLIN FISHER,
SO I LOVE BOATS.

IF YOU CHARTER A BOAT,
IT'S YOUR BOAT.

I MEAN, YOU WAIT
TILL EVERYBODY'S THERE.

- THERE GOES THE CATAMARAN.
THEY'RE GONNA LEAVE WITHOUT US.

- THAT IS THEM.
- YEAH.

THEY'RE LEAVING WITHOUT US.

[laughs]

- KIM!
- ARE YOU SERIOUS?

- SHE'S THERE?

- KIM!

- SHE'S NOT THERE.

- KIM'S GOT TO REALIZE
THE WORLD DOESN'T WAIT FOR HER.

IT SURELY DOESN'T WAIT FOR ME.

- BUT WE CAN'T GO INTO PORT,
YOU KNOW THAT.

IT'S GONNA TAKE HALF AN HOUR
TO TURN AROUND.

- ONCE WE LEAVE, WE HAVE TO GO.

WE'RE ON A TIGHT SCHEDULE

TO GET TO WHERE WE GOT TO GO

TO GET YOU GUYS IN THE WATER.

- KYLE, SOMETIMES MAYBE SOMEBODY
NEEDS TO LEARN A LESSON.

I MEAN, WE DICKED AROUND

FOR HALF AN HOUR.

IT'S RIDICULOUS.

- IMAGINE BEING STUCK OUT THERE
FOR THREE HOURS WITH HER.

- OH, MY GOD. I'M NEVER GONNA
HEAR THE END OF THIS.

I REALLY, REALLY DID FEEL BAD

THAT KIM WAS MISSING OUT

ON THIS SPECIAL DAY,

BUT KIM WAS BEING DISRESPECTFUL

OF EVERYONE ELSE'S TIME.

- WE'LL JUST GO BACK AND...
- LET'S REST.

- IT'S A TOUGH LIFE,
BUT SOMEBODY'S GOT TO DO IT.

- I JUST FELT GUILTY SEEING HER
STANDING THERE LIKE THAT, BUT...

- SHE'S OUT OF CONTROL, KYLE.

- I KNOW. I KNOW.

- I MEAN, COME ON.
AT SOME STAGE,

YOU'VE GOT TO STOP
MAKING ALLOWANCES FOR HER.

- I KNOW. BELIEVE ME, I KNOW.

UNBELIEVABLE. UNBELIEVABLE.

- I MEAN, DID YOU NOT PLUG IT IN
TO CHARGE IT?

- NOT YOUR PHONE.

I SET THE ALARM ON THE CLOCK.

- OHH.

SO YOU DIDN'T SET MY...

- NO.
- OH.

WELL, ANYWAY.
- AND MY PHONE'S BEEN DEAD.

- THIS IS THE FIRST TIME
I'VE HAD TO REALLY RELAX.

[indistinct] HALF THE REASON.

THEY'RE HAVING FUN.

WE'RE HAVING FUN.

- SO, YEAH.

YOU KNOW, I THINK I HAVE, LIKE,
LIKE, I GOT POKED IN THE EYE.

THE WHOLE SIDE'S ALL BLOODY.

LIKE ALL THE WAY TO MY PUPIL.

- YOU WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABLE
TO SNORKEL.

YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN SEASICK.
- DO YOU SEE IT?

LOOK AT MY EYE, MY LEFT EYE.

- OH, MY GOSH.
- LOOK HOW BAD.

LIKE, I, LIKE, I GOT
A FINGERNAIL IN THERE.

- I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.

- WELL, I DIDN'T DO IT.
- NO, I KNOW THAT.

- EVERYTHING HAPPENS
FOR A REASON.

THIS IS JUST
WHAT I NEEDED TODAY.

I DIDN'T NEED TO BE OUT
ON A BOAT

AND SNORKELING AND ALL THAT.

I JUST NEED TO RELAX.

[chatter]

- [shrieks] OH, MY GOD!

- WHAT HAPPENED?
- OH, MY GOD!

[laughter]

- OH...

- YOU PULLED ON IT?

- SHE UNTIED THE SIDE.

AND IT WAS, LIKE, GOING, AND
MY VAGINA WOULD BE IN THE AIR.

- ANYBODY ELSE WOULD DOUBLE-KNOT
IT, RIGHT?

WOULDN'T WE? - I DON'T KNOW.

[overlapping statements]

- I ACTUALLY QUITE LIKE BRANDI.

I CAN HAVE SOME FUN WITH HER.

WE DO HAVE ONE THING IN COMMON,

AND THAT'S A BIT
OF A NAUGHTY SENSE OF HUMOR.

- WHOO!

- WHY WOULD THEY
WANT TO DO THAT?

- OH! IT'S COLD!

- CAN YOU SEE HOW MUCH PLEASURE
THEY'RE HAVING?

- IT'S NOT COLD.

- ALL RIGHT, SHE'S GOING.

SHE'S GONE.

WHO CARES WHAT'S DOWN THERE
ANYWAY, RIGHT?

JUST PUT ON THE SCIENCE CHANNEL,
FOR GOD'S SAKE.

- WHERE'S PAUL? OH, WELL.

- HE WAS A NICE GUY.
- A RATHER NICE GUY.

- A SHAME.
I WAS GONNA HAVE A FACELIFT.

NEVER MIND. [laughter]

- [laughing]
WAKING UP AND SEEING KYLE

AND LISA IN THE PATIO...

- BLOODY 'A'. WHAT'S GOING ON?

- [speaks indistinctly]

- I'VE NEVER ACTUALLY DONE THAT.

- THAT WAS SO FUNNY, THOUGH.

HONESTLY, I LOOK BACK ON IT...

- I USUALLY RESPECT PEOPLE'S
PRIVACY, BUT YOU KNOW...

- YOU SAW LAST NIGHT AS MUCH...
CAN I HAVE A COUPLE MORE?

- YEAH.
- THEY TRY TO KIND OF GO THERE.

I JUST... I'M NOT WILLING TO...

- WELL...
- LET ANYBODY...

- EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT BOTHERED
BY IT, I DON'T WANT IT.

- BURST MY BUBBLE.
- I DON'T WANT IT.

IT'S NOT RIGHT.

PERIOD.

- ALL RIGHT.

- I'M REALLY NOT GONNA STAND

FOR ANYBODY ATTACKING YOU

OR PUTTING YOU DOWN.

SO THERE'S GONNA BE RESPECT
OR ELSE.

THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS.

SO IF THEY
CAN'T FIGURE THAT OUT,

THEN THAT'S GONNA BE
UNFORTUNATE,

BUT I ASSUME COMMON DECENCY
WOULD PREVAIL ON ITS OWN.

- YOU KNOW,
HE'S SUPPORTIVE OF ME,

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS.

WHETHER KEN AND I END UP
TOGETHER FOREVER OR WE DON'T,

WE'LL ALWAYS HAVE
EACH OTHER'S BACK.

- I'M JUST NOT GONNA SPEND
THE WHOLE NIGHT

TAKING JABS.

I'M GONNA BE THROWING 'EM
IF IT COMES TO THAT.

I'M NOT GONNA SIT AROUND

AND BULL[bleep] WITH THIS
ANYMORE.

IT'S NOT ENJOYABLE TO ME.

OH, AND, BY THE WAY,

THAT'S THE TRUTH.

- WHAT?
- THAT'S THE TRUTH,

WHAT I JUST SAID.

- OH, I KNOW.

WHAT IS THAT WITH THE TRUTH?

- [laughs]

- [deep-voiced] THE TRUTH.

- THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE.

- [laughs]

I WONDER WHAT THAT WAS ABOUT.

- AND I WANT YOU TO SMILE.

ALL THE TIME.

YOU KNOW?

- I DO.

I AM.

NOBODY'S IN CHARGE
OF YOUR HAPPINESS,

BUT YOU.

- OKAY.

LOVE YOU.

- COMING UP...
- YOU KEPT PEOPLE WAITING

AND WAITING AND WAITING
AND WAITING OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

- WE DON'T CARE.

- KYLE, ONE COULD SAY

ANY PORT IN A STORM.

- ARE YOU A BIG SURFER?
DO YOU DO THE WHOLE...

- ANYTHING ON THE OCEAN.
- YEAH.

- I MEAN, IF YOU'VE GOT
AN ASS LIKE THAT,

YOU NEED TO SHOW IT OFF,

KIND OF, DON'T YOU? - YEAH.

- JUST KIND OF WASTE YOUR TIME
WEARING CLOTHES.

- YEAH.

- ARE YOU MARRIED?
DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

- NOPE.
- NO KIDS, NO MARRIED?

- NO. NO NOTHING.

JUST A FREE SPIRIT.

- THERE'S NOT EVEN ONE DIMPLE
ON IT.

THERE ISN'T.

CAN YOU SEE HER?

- I'M GONNA GET A COLDER BEER.

'CAUSE THIS ONE'S NOT.
- HERE, LET ME HOOK YOU UP.

- BACK IN THE DAY,
LISA WAS THE HOTTY-POTATI.

I BRING BACK MEMORIES FOR HER,

'CAUSE IT'S NOW ME CLEARLY.

[exclamations] - OKAY.

[doorbell rings]

- HI, HONEY.
- HOW ARE YOU?

THE MAJORITY OF MY FRIENDS
ARE IN HAWAII,

AND THAT'S DIFFICULT,
BECAUSE I'M GOING

THROUGH THE ROUGHEST TIME
OF MY LIFE.

BUT DANA'S BEEN MY FRIEND
FOR A LONG TIME,

AND SHE'S HERE FOR ME.

- SO...
- THIS LOOKS GOOD.

- I DON'T KNOW
WHAT IT IS ACTUALLY.

WHAT IS THIS?
- SALMON WRAPPED WITH SOY WRAP.

DIFFERENT FLAVORS,
SPINACH AND TURMERIC.

AND THEN RICE NOODLE.

- OH, NICE.
- I GAVE YOU MUSHROOM.

- OH, WOW.
- IT'S COOL.

THANKS, RAUL.

- I'M EXCITED TO SEE YOU.
I'VE MISSED YOU.

- I KNOW.
- YEAH.

THE LAST COUPLE OF WEEKS
HAVE BEEN HELL.

- WELL, I'VE BEEN REALLY WORRIED
ABOUT YOU

EVER SINCE THE PARTY.

IT WAS, LIKE, IT WAS SO CRAZY.

- WE ALL WANT TO SUPPORT TAYLOR.

WE ALL WANT TO BELIEVE
SHE'S TELLING THE TRUTH.

BUT NOBODY IN THIS ROOM
KNOWS THAT.

- IF MY GIRL SAID IT,
IT HAPPENED.

THAT'S WHAT I BELIEVE.

WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE,
THE BOTTOM LINE

IS I ALWAYS BELIEVE YOU.

AND I NEED TO BE SUPPORTIVE
TO YOU,

AND I DON'T KNOW HOW RIGHT NOW,
BECAUSE I FEEL

LIKE THERE'S THIS PERIMETER.

- RIGHT.
- THAT I HAVE TO STAY...

I'M AFRAID OF. AND BASICALLY...

- WELL, LET ME JUST STOP YOU.

UM, YOU KNOW, RUSSELL AND I'S
MARRIAGE IS OVER.

- DID YOU LEAVE HIM?

- YES.
- HE'S GONE?

- HE'S GONE.

I HAVE GIVEN EVERYTHING I CAN,

EVERYTHING I CAN.

AND I HAVE BEEN TO COUNSELING

WITH HIM, WITHOUT HIM.

I HAVE TRIED TO CHANGE MYSELF.

I WOULD HAVE BECOME
A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON

JUST TO BE WITH HIM.

I THINK HE AND I
BOTH JUST RECOGNIZED THAT...

- IT WAS TIME.

- THERE'S NO WAY
WE CAN BE TOGETHER.

I CAN'T LOOK BACK ANYMORE,
YOU KNOW.

I MEAN,
THE LAST SIX MONTHS, DANA,

I HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN MYSELF.

- I KNOW.
- I'M EITHER CRYING

OR I'M SCREAMING
OR I'M DRINKING TOO MUCH...

I MEAN, I JUST AM TRYING
TO KEEP A LID ON A POT

THAT'S OVER-BOILING, AND I'M
JUST TRYING TO HOLD IT ON,

AND I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE.

- I KNOW, BABY.

EVERYBODY SENSED IT, RIGHT?

SO THEN THAT'S WHY THEY WANTED
TO, LIKE, SAY,

"THERE'S NO TRUTH...
THERE ISN'T TRUTH BEHIND IT,"

BECAUSE EVERYONE WAS LIKE,
"JUST SAY IT."

- IT'S REALLY HARD NOT TO HAVE
MY FRIENDS STANDING UP

FOR ME RIGHT NOW.

- I'M SO SORRY, BABY.

WHEN THERE'S SOMEONE
LIKE A RUSSELL,

IT ALIENATES EVERYBODY.

THEY NEED A REASON
TO GET RID OF YOU,

BECAUSE THEY CAN'T STAND IT
ANYMORE.

- RIGHT.
- SO THAT'S WHAT THEY DID.

YOU DESERVE FOR THEM
TO BE THERE FOR YOU.

I THINK THEY ARE GOING
TO ALL COME AROUND.

- YOU KNOW, I JUST HAVE
TO LEARN NOW

TO BE ON MY OWN AND TO DISCOVER

THAT I'M WORTH SOMETHING BETTER
THAN WHAT I'VE HAD.

- I LOVE YOU.

- I LOVE YOU TOO.
- I'M SO PSYCHED

THAT I KNOW YOU.

I THINK
YOU'RE REALLY GONNA BLOSSOM.

- LIFE GOES ON.

- ALOHA.
- HI.

- WELCOME TO FOUR SEASONS LODGE
AT KOELE.

THIS WAY.

- ALOHA. WELCOME.
- ALOHA. HOW ARE YOU?

- CHAMPAGNE?
- THANK YOU SO MUCH.

- I'M GONNA SAY IT.
- NO.

- HELLO.

- WELCOME TO FOUR SEASONS...
- HI. HOW ARE YOU?

- WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
- ...JOURNEY UP TO THE LODGE.

- WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
- WELL, IF YOU CAN READ,

HER NAME'S RIGHT THERE.

- I CAN'T.
MY VISION'S NOT THAT GOOD.

- OH, COME ON, STOP.

- THANK YOU, LINDSAY.

- THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

- WHAT DID YOU DO TODAY THEN?

DID YOU SEE US LEAVING?
YOU WERE ON THE DOCK.

- YEAH.
- WE WERE STANDING THERE.

- THEN WE WENT BACK, AND WE...

I SAID EVERYTHING HAPPENS
FOR A REASON.

SO BUT ANYWAY... [coughs]

WE WENT BACK TO THE HOTEL,
AND WE NEEDED IT.

AND WE JUST, LIKE, WE SAT,
AND WE HAD A BEAUTIFUL LUNCH

AND JUST ENJOYED
THE SOUND OF THE OCEAN.

AND IT WAS ACTUALLY,
AS MUCH AS WE WANTED TO GO...

- RELAXING.
- WE WANTED TO GO.

- WE HAD SO MUCH FUN.
- IT WAS LIKE, YOU KNOW,

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

- YEAH, I KNOW,
BUT WE WERE, LIKE,

TRYING TO GET YOU UP AND...
[sighs]

YOU MISSED A FANTASTIC DAY.

I THINK THE EXCUSES
ARE ALL WEARING A BIT THIN.

SHE'S BEING RUDE TO THE GROUP

AND TO MAURICIO'S BIRTHDAY,

SO, OF COURSE,
THERE'S A PROBLEM.

- SO TELL US, MY LOVE,

TELL US HOW'S IT GOING
WITH UNCLE KENNETH.

- YOU KNOW, WE'RE BALANCING SIX
KIDS AND EXES AND, YOU KNOW...

AND I THINK
THIS WAS THE BEST THING.

I FEEL... I'M GLAD HE'S HERE.

- SO BOTTOM LINE IS
YOU'RE TELLING ME

THAT YOU'RE ENJOYING YOURSELF.

- YEAH, AND I'M REALLY GLAD
HE'S HERE.

LIKE, AS MUCH AS I WANTED
TO GO DIVING,

YOU KNOW, SCU...
AND BE WITH ALL YOU,

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

I... WE SO NEEDED TODAY.
- I GET IT.

- BUT THIS WHOLE LITTLE TRIP
HAS BEEN, LIKE,

A LITTLE STRESSFUL, LIKE,

BECAUSE WE'VE BEEN
BEHIND SCHEDULE,

BUT IT'S ACTUALLY BEEN...
IT'S BEEN

A GROWING EXPERIENCE
FOR THE TWO OF US.

- HE SEEMS LIKE A VERY NICE GUY.

- HE IS.
- COME ON.

YOUR EARS MUST BE BURNING.

- WE'RE TALKING
ABOUT HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE.

- LIKE DUMBO AT DISNEYLAND.
- I'M NOT A FAN OF IT.

- WHAT?
- OF WHATEVER'S GOING ON

THAT I DON'T KNOW.

- ACTUALLY, WE WERE JUST TALKING
ABOUT YOU.

- NO, I KNOW. I KNOW YOU ARE.

I JUST DON'T KNOW WHY.

- WE WERE TALKING
ABOUT HOW I GOT TO KNOW YOU

AND THAT... - WE LIKE YOU.

- I DON'T KNOW. FOR SOME REASON,

I WAS GETTING A VIBE
THAT WASN'T [indistinct].

- WHAT, YOU HAVE ESP
OR SOMETHING?

- OKAY, WELL, YOUR FACE DIDN'T...
- IT WAS JUST LIKE...

- WELL, NO.
- YOU HAD A FACE

OF KIND OF LIKE, "WOW...

I DON'T WANT TO BE AROUND
WHEN HE HEARS THIS."

- NO.
- OR SOMETHING.

- IT WAS A LITTLE STRANGE,

HIS BEING A LITTLE OVERBEARING
FOR KIM.

- OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
- NO.

- WELL, THEN, I MISINTERPRETED

IN MY OWN HEAD. - NO.

- I DO THAT SOMETIMES.

- KEN DOES LIKE
TO BE AT MY SIDE,

KEEP AN EYE ON ME.
THAT'S KEN'S WAY.

I'M NOT USED TO...

[gulp]... THAT.

IT'S A COMPROMISE
BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP.

- ALL RIGHT.
- WELL, THE BOTTOM LINE IS

WE JUST SAID SOME NICE THINGS
ABOUT YOU,

SO LET'S GO EAT. - YOU DID?

- YEAH. [kisses]

[back clapping]

- OH, MY GOSH.

THIS IS GORGEOUS.

[overlapping statements]

[chatter]

- I'M STARVING.

- I'M STARVING TOO.

- I DIDN'T EAT LUNCH
ON THE BOAT TODAY.

- THIS IS BRIE,
AND YOU WON'T LIKE THIS.

IT'S BRIE CHEESE.
- I DON'T MIND BRIE CHEESE.

I JUST DON'T...

- IT IS THAT CHEESE
THAT YOU HAD ON THE CRACKER.

- SO THEY...
- THAT'S GOOD.

- HONEY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

SO FAR, THIS HAS BEEN A VERY
FUN, HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING
A GREAT TIME.

I KNOW YOU WERE IN HEAVEN TODAY

IN THE OCEAN
SWIMMING WITH THE FISH.

- SO NICE.
- AND CAMILLE.

[laughter]

I WAS ONLY IN THERE
FOR A LITTLE BIT,

BUT ANYWAY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH,
HONEY.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING HERE.

All: HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

- THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.

- CHEERS.

CHEERS. - GREAT JOB.

- KIM, WHAT DID YOU AND KEN
DO TODAY?

- WE SAT AND HAD
THE MOST AMAZING LUNCH

ON THE, LIKE...
OVERLOOKING... IT WAS, LIKE,

BELOW THE LOBBY,
BUT ABOVE THE POOL.

- DID YOU GO TO THE BEACH?

- NO, WE JUST SAT.
IT WAS SO RELAXING.

YOU CAN HEAR
THE KIDS IN THE POOL.

YOU COULD SEE THE OCEAN.

- DID YOU GO IN THE POOL AT ALL

OR THE BEACH, ANYTHING?

- NO, WE JUST SAT AND HAD,

LIKE, THE MOST AMAZING LUNCH.

- IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE
TO SEE MORE OF KIM AND KEN

AND SPEND MORE TIME WITH THEM.

I THINK THAT DISAPPOINTED
KYLE AND MAURICIO.

UNDERSTANDABLY SO.

- IT WAS JUST
A REALLY RELAXING DAY.

WE MISSED YOU GUYS,
BUT, YOU KNOW,

IT WAS ACTUALLY... IT WAS
KIND OF WHAT I... WHAT WE NEEDED.

I NEEDED IT.

- YEAH, WE MISSED THE BOAT.

- YEAH.

LITERALLY.

BUT, YOU KNOW, LIKE I SAY,

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

- I'M FINDING MYSELF
GETTING MORE AND MORE FRUSTRATED

THAT KIM JUST WANTS TO BRUSH

THIS WHOLE THING
UNDER THE CARPET.

KIM'S BEING DISRESPECTFUL

OF MY HUSBAND'S BIRTHDAY.

I FEEL LIKE YOU MISSED
EVERYTHING.

- YOU KNOW WHAT?
WE REALLY DIDN'T.

IT'S ALL WORKED OUT FINE.

I MEAN, IT'S ALL...
IT'S ALL GOOD.

LOOK, WE'RE ALL HERE TONIGHT,
ENJOYING...

- ASK BRANDI
IF SHE HAD A GOOD TIME.

- IT'S A LONG WAY TO COME.

- IT'S ABOUT TIME THAT KYLE
CALLED HER OUT ON HER [bleep],

BECAUSE KIM IS PRETENDING
LIKE EVERYTHING HAS BEEN

ALL FINE ON THIS TRIP,
AND THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER

IS THAT SHE MISSED 90% OF IT.

I DON'T KNOW.

I THINK IT'S KIM'S WORLD,

AND WE'RE JUST LIVING IN IT.

- IT'S KIND OF A VERY STRAN...

THAT'S WHY I'M SO QUIET,

BECAUSE IT'S A VERY WEIRD, LIKE,
ACTUAL, LIKE, BIRTHDAY DINNER.

- AWKWARD?
- [scoffs]

A VERY SURREAL BIRTHDAY DINNER.

- WHY?
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHY?

- ALL KYLE WANTS
IS FOR KIM TO BE HONEST.

AS A SISTER,
IT WOULD DRIVE ME CRAZY.

- YOU MISSED THE FLIGHT
IN THE MORNING.

HOW COULD THAT HAPPEN?

- ARE WE BACK...
- [speaks indistinctly]

- NO, I KNOW YOU WANT
TO BRUSH OVER IT,

BUT EVERYONE ELSE HERE
IS AWARE OF THAT

AND KNOWS
THAT WE WERE ALL WAITING

AND THIS AND THIS
AND THIS AND THAT.

- SHE'S PICKING... PICKING
A BONE WITH ME

FOR NO REASON.

I CALLED HER THE EGG BEATER,

BECAUSE THAT'S ALL SHE DID,
WAS STIR THE EGGS.

I DON'T KNOW
WHY SHE'S CRAWLING UP THIS TREE.

WE JUST MISSED THE FLIGHT.

- AND THEN THE BOAT TODAY TOO.

- WE MISSED IT.
THAT'S THE STORY.

WE MISSED IT.
AND THAT'S THE END OF IT.

IT HAPPENS.

- OKAY, BUT YOU WANT TO BRUSH
OVER IT, I KNOW.

- IT'S NOT BRUSHING OVER IT.
- IT IS BRUSHING OVER IT.

- PEOPLE MISS PLANES,
AND WE MISSED IT,

AND THAT WAS THE END OF IT.
- TWO PLANES AND A BOAT?

- WE DIDN'T MISS TWO PLANES.
- YEAH, YOU DID.

YOU KEPT PEOPLE WAITING AND
WAITING AND WAITING AND WAITING

OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

- ONCE AGAIN, THEY FIND A TOPIC

AND THEY HARP ON IT.

ALL NIGHT.

OOH.

IT WOULD BE JUST LIKE ME TALKING

ABOUT THE FACT
THAT YOU DRIVE AROUND

WITH A CELL PHONE TO YOUR EAR.

- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

FIRST OF ALL, I'VE NEVER DRIVEN
IN A CAR WITH YOU,

SO HOW CAN YOU TALK LIKE THAT?
- YOU DO.

- I'VE NEVER DRIVEN
IN A CAR WITH YOU.

SO I COULD SAY
YOU'RE A CHILD MOLESTER.

I COULD SAY THAT TOO.
YOU'VE NEVER EVEN DRIVEN

IN A CAR WITH ME IN 12 YEARS,

SO WHY WOULD YOU TALK LIKE THAT?
- THAT'S NOT TRUE.

- YOU WANT TO PULL SOMETHING
OUT OF YOUR ASS

TO SAY, FINE.

I'M JUST SAYING
IT'S NOT GOING TO BE DROPPED.

THAT'S WHY I SAID IT.
I'M LETTING YOU KNOW WHY.

AND I KNOW YOU LIKE
TO HIT BELOW THE BELT

WHEN YOU FIGHT,
BUT YOU'VE NEVER EVEN BEEN

IN A CAR WITH ME IN YEARS,

'CAUSE I DON'T EVEN HANG OUT
WITH YOU, SO, PLEASE.

- [laughs]

- YOU CAN LAUGH AND TRY
TO BLOW IT OFF

AND ACT LIKE YOU'RE...
- WE DON'T CARE.

[sniffs]

- YOU DON'T CARE?

I'M SURE YOU DON'T, KEN.
- I DON'T.

I'M JUST SICK OF... - WHAT?

- I'M JUST TIRED
OF THE WHOLE THING.

I WISH WE COULD ENJOY OURSELVES,
AND I HOPE YOU DO TOO.

- I DO. I ENJOY MYSELF.

- OKAY, WELL...
- I'M JUST SAYING...

- IT'S HARD TO SEE SOMETIMES.

- YOU CAN DO ALL THIS
AND NOT HAVE ANY REPERCUSSIONS.

THAT'S NOT FAIR.

- I THINK IT'S TIME WE GO.

- I'M JUST SAYING...
- LET'S GO.

- DON'T EXPECT
THAT THERE ARE NOT

REPERCUSSIONS FOR YOUR ACTIONS.

- THERE'S NO REPERCUSSIONS.
- YEAH, THERE ARE.

- ENJOY.

- I DON'T EVEN WANT YOU
AT MY TABLE.

SCRAM, ASS[bleep].

- COMING UP...
- THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO

IS ACCEPT HER, AND NOW SHE
HAS SOMEBODY TO BACK HER UP.

YOU'RE DEFINITELY
NOT GONNA WIN IT.

- SHE WANTS ME TO IGNORE IT ALL

AND ACT LIKE IT'S NORMAL.

THAT'S NOT NORMAL. I'M SORRY.

- SHE WANTS TO DO WHAT SHE DOES
OF MISSING ALL THE FLIGHTS

AND MISSING THE BOAT
OVER AND OVER

AND HAVE NO ONE SAY ANYTHING.

I CAN'T DO THAT.

- YOU'RE NEVER GONNA GET
FROM HER WHAT YOU WANT.

- AND THEN SHE GETS PISSED OFF
WHEN I SAY SOMETHING TO HER.

- BECAUSE YOU'RE NEVER GONNA GET
THE ANSWERS.

KYLE'S A VERY HONEST,
DIRECT PERSON.

AND I THINK SHE'S FRUSTRATED,

THE SAME AS MAURICIO WAS
THE NIGHT BEFORE,

THAT THEY DON'T FEEL
THEY'RE GETTING THE TRUE STORY.

- SHE WANTS ME TO IGNORE IT ALL
AND ACT LIKE IT'S NORMAL.

THAT'S NOT NORMAL, I'M SORRY.

- I WAS JUST TIRED
OF HEARING THE VOICE.

IT JUST KIND OF WAS GOING
THROUGH ME

KIND OF LIKE ONE OF THOSE HORNS
WITH THE AIR.

- TRY GROWING UP A BIT.

- I THINK SHE LIKES PUSHING
YOUR BUTTONS.

- NO.
- FOR SURE.

- IS IT NORMAL TO SAY,
"MEET IN THE LOBBY AT 11:30,"

WHICH IS 2:30 L.A. TIME,

TO BE SOUND ASLEEP AND ACT
LIKE I'VE INCONVENIENCED YOU?

- THAT'S WHO SHE IS, AND YOU'RE
NOT GOING TO CHANGE THAT.

- I GET THAT.

- LISA, THAT'S NOT
WHAT IT'S ABOUT.

IT'S NOT RIGHT. - I GET THAT.

I GET THAT'S WHO SHE IS.

BUT THIS IS WHO I AM.
- IT'S NOT RIGHT.

AND IT'S HER SISTER.

- ...THINK IT'S NORMAL
AND BRUSH OVER IT.

- WELL, YOU'VE GOT TO HELP.
- SHE JUST DOESN'T...

KNOW WHEN TO DRAW THE LINE.

SHE NEEDS TO... SHE JUST NEEDS
TO LEARN THAT.

- SHE ALWAYS TURNS IT AROUND
ON ME AND MAKES ME THE BAD GUY.

- WAIT A MINUTE. ALL I KNOW...
- ALWAYS. EVERY [bleep] TIME.

- CLEARLY, KYLE, NO ONE THINKS
YOU'RE THE BAD GUY HERE.

NOBODY DOES.

NOBODY HERE... WE ALL SEE
THE SANITY, AND IT'S OVER HERE.

IT'S NOT THERE.

BUT CLEARLY SHE HAS A PROBLEM,
AND NO ONE'S GONNA HELP HER

UNTIL SHE ASKS FOR HELP HERSELF,

AND THIS GUY'S NOT HELPING HER.

I'M NOT SURE WHAT KIM'S ISSUES
ACTUALLY ARE,

BUT I SUSPECT THAT THERE'S
SOME SORT OF SUBSTANCE ABUSE

GOING ON.

IT'S PRETTY CLEAR
THAT SHE'S CRYING OUT

AND SHE WANTS PEOPLE
TO PAY ATTENTION

AND NOTICE THAT SHE NEEDS HELP.

YOU DO CARE. YOU CARE ABOUT HER,

BUT SHE... YOU HAVE TO WAIT
FOR HER TO ASK FOR HELP.

PERIOD.
SHE'S NOT ASKING FOR IT NOW,

AND SHE'S DEFENSIVE.

- IF I GO ALONG
WITH WHAT SHE WANTS,

THINGS ARE FINE,

BUT IF I ADDRESS THE TRUTH,

THINGS ARE NOT OKAY.

- IF SHE DOESN'T WANT TO DO
SOMETHING, SHE DOESN'T DO IT.

AND THAT IS A FACT.

- YOU'VE SEEN,
THE LAST TWO MONTHS,

EVERY TIME WE'VE HAD
A DINNER PARTY,

A TEA PARTY, IF SHE WANTS
TO SHOW UP, SHE DOES,

BUT NINE TIMES
OUT OF THE TIME SHE DOESN'T.

SO THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO
IS ACCEPT HER,

AND NOW SHE HAS SOMEBODY
TO BACK HER UP,

YOU'RE DEFINITELY
NOT GONNA WIN IT.

IT'S A BATTLE YOU WON'T WIN,
I'M TELLING YOU.

- BUT HE'S AN ENABLER.
HE'S MAKING IT OKAY FOR HER...

- WE DON'T KNOW THAT.
WE DON'T KNOW THAT.

- UM...

WE DO.

WE DO KIND OF KNOW THAT.

WE'VE EXPERIENCED IT
ALL WEEKEND LONG.

YOU JUST HAVE TO WAIT.

YOU KNOW WHAT,
SHE'LL COME TO A POINT

WHERE SHE HITS A WALL.

NO, DON'T CRY.

SHE'LL ASK FOR HELP.

- AND OBVIOUSLY
SHE'S JUST FRUSTRATED.

- NO, I GET IT. OF COURSE.

- I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO JUST IGNORE

THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM.

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PRETEND
LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG.

- NEXT TIME ON THE REAL
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...

- WE NEED TO GET
THESE LADDERS OUT OF HERE.

WE NEED TO GET
THIS TRASH CAN OUT.

THIS NEEDS TO BE SORTED.

WE'RE OPEN IN, LIKE, TWO HOURS.

I MEAN, IT'S A MESS.

- KIM, HONEY,
I'M NOT TRYING TO PUSH.

I'M JUST TELLING YOU THAT...
COME ON.

JESUS CHRIST. - I APOLOGIZE.

BUT YOU NEVER APOLOGIZE
TO ME EVER FOR WHAT YOU DO.

- WHA...?

- IT'S UNCLE CEDRIC.
- WOW.

- WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THIS?

IS THIS WHAT IT TOOK
FOR YOU TO LEAVE?

- SHE SAID THAT I PUT HER FAMILY
IN HARM'S WAY.

- NO, IT'S NOT FAIR TO HER.

SHE OWES AN APOLOGY.