The O.C. (2003–2007): Season 1, Episode 15 - The Third Wheel - full transcript

Previously on The O.C.:

Guess who's back?
Aunt Hailey.

Did she say why she's here?

She's run out of money.

You have to stop living like
this.

So I'll grow to be like you?

He's really not my type.

What's your type, Seth Cohen?

Didn't want you to be alone
on New Years.

I'm having a party.
We're not going.

Because I'm not drinking,
doesn't mean you can't.



Clean and sober, 11 months.

HAILEY: Girlfriend's at a
New Year's Eve party alone?

She's not alone. She's with some
guy.

You broke up.
We didn't.

Not spending
New Year's together.

I think it's just us tonight.

(rock intro playing)

* It's Saturday mornin'

* Who's gonna play with me?

* 6:00 in the morning, baby

* I got a long, long day
ahead of me *

(music continues)

* The parents
are sleeping soundly *

* The neighbors
are dead as wood *



* I'm gettin' up
and comin' over *

* We gonna rock
the neighborhood *

* Nothing's ever gonna happen
'round here *

(through headphones):
* If we don't make it

happen...

She's eating us out
of house and home.

Sandy, it's just a bagel.

No, no, no,
it's never just a bagel.

Mom, I've been a shut-in for the
last 17 years of my life,

and I can pretty much say
with authority,

that woman never
leaves the house.

She's got nowhere else
to go.

Because all her friends
want to kick her ass.

Sorry about the language.

Why?
I'd like to kick her ass.

HAILEY:
Kirsten.

Coming.

There's no more coffee.

Will you make some?

The good French Roast
kind?

Not the Harvest Blend.

(hushed):
No! No! No! No!

I'll talk to her.

I'll have to survive
on English muffins.

(whistling)

Marissa? Marissa, hello?
She's gotta be here somewhere.

Hilarious.

Yeah, okay, listen to me.

Hailey is always
in the living room, alright?

Marissa's always here.
Look at me.

I'm lost, okay?

What happened to Seth-Ryan time?
That was quality time.

I know I've been
a bit...

Uh...
whipped?

I'm not whipped.
We can talk now.

What's up?

Squeezing me in
before school.

Nice...
I like that,

but I'll take it.

Okay, here's the thing, um...

Anna and I decided
to take it up a level

and I need advice.

You're gonna have sex.

No. Good idea, though.

We're going to tell Summer
that we're dating.

As much as I fear
Summer hurting me

with the rage blackouts
and all,

I'm actually more scared
about hurting her feelings.

We've become friends now
and I feel like I don't...

MARISSA:
Hey.

You guys ready to go?

Yeah, no,
we were just talking.

Oh, really, about what?

Uh, just guy stuff.

You know, hunting and shaving
and shoes.

The cleats for the sports.

Okay, well, come on.

Hey, later, can we please finish
this chat?

Put little Seth-Ryan time
on the books?

Yes, yes, absolutely.

Just got to check with...

Oh, you forgot your balls.

You and me tonight.

Come on!

(whip cracking)

(piano and acoustic guitar
strumming gentle melody)

S01E15
The Third Wheel

* California, here we come

* Right back where
we started from *

* California

* California...

* In Cal...

* California

* California

* Here we come.

* I know how nice you are...

Have we become
one of those couples?

Who lose
all their friends?

And can't do
anything without each other?

I don't think so.
You think so?

It'll be good--
a night apart.

Yeah, plus I'm kind
of sick of you.

I'm sick of me, too.

I gotta go.

Yeah, and I got the...

Walk me?
I'll walk you.

Ow.
Don't make me.

Don't make you what?

Hurt you.
Watch this.

Stop.

What's up?

Hey, what is up?
I was talking to her.

That's cool.

Wanted to know if you had plans
this weekend.

Nothing.

Anna's trying to say
she's not doing anything.

We're both
not doing anything.

That's what we're both doing.

In fact,
we're doing nothing.

But doing that
by ourselves.

Thank you, Cohen.

You just reminded me
that I need my bio textbook,

'cause we're studying monkeys.

Ouch.

I hate liars.

Now I'm one of them.

Thought you were to talk to her.

I'm going to talk to her.
Don't know how.

Fine, I'll tell her.

I have to do it.

Me and Ryan are going
to have a conference.

A good little strategy meeting.

We're going to figure
the whole thing.

Makes me feel
so much better.

Then we'll be free for this.

Seth, I have
to study.

I started my own business
right out of college

and now I'm a father
of two

and I've got one line
on my resume.

Did you ever mow your lawn
as a kid?

Yeah.

Great. Jimmy Cooper
Landscaping.

Your first job.

And now you're
an entrepreneur.

Don't even have
any references.

Sure, you do. Your clients.

Whose money you stole.
Right.

Is that Jimmy Cooper?

Hey, Hailey.

You look fantastic.

How are you doing?

She's got no jobs,
no friends,

and no prospects.

And I say that with love.

Sounds like we got
a lot in common.

So, did you guys
have the talk?

Yes.

We almost did.

It's just we were
having so much fun,

and we've fought for so long,

it was nice to just hang out
and be sisters.

I'll find out if she has a plan.
You know her plan.

She's gonna mooch off us

until she can go make a
withdrawal from the Bank of Dad

and then she'll take off again
for a couple years.

Sandy, she said she wasn't
going to do that this time.

She said she'd stay here
and mooch off us forever?

She's not mooching.

Then how'd she get

all those new clothes
she bought, huh?

From the salary
she doesn't make?

From the trust fund she drained?

Bought you bagels.

And that fixes everything?

Yes, it does.

Sesame.

Oh, that's a start.

I'm going to hide them.

So, yeah, now I'm broke
and sleeping at my sister's.

Hey, I'm broke

and my wife is sleeping
with your father.

Fantastic.

We've really done well
for ourselves.

Who knew,
back in the day

when Kirsten and I were
baby-sitting you,

and you were watching
Silver Spoons,

that we'd both turn
out to be so, uh...

Complicated?

And it was Golden Girls.

Oh, that's right!
That's right.

You loved Golden Girls.

It's pretty impressive

that I was ten years old
and totally relating

to the lives
of 70-year-old women.

Blanche was 70?

She aged really well.

I'd love to hang.

Hear how you made
such a mess of your life.

Same.

I bet your story doesn't involve

a fistfight at Cotillion.

No, but I bet yours
doesn't contain

half a pound of hash
and a border guard in Budapest.

( laughs )

No.

Nice that you and Jimmy are
friends again.

I guess I can't
blame a guy

for wanting
to kiss my wife.

Feels like we never have
time alone anymore.

Well, that's not true.

We have moments.

I want more moments.

( Hailey clears throat )

God, they're so whipped.

I gotta go pick up Marissa.

Sandy, thank you.
Anytime.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Yes.
Yes.

Jimmy and I are gonna hang out
tomorrow night. Catch up.

Hang out, like out?

Mm-hmm.

Bet you have
lots to catch up on.

Mm.

Tomorrow night.
Tomorrow night.

Hey, man, how's it going?

I've got a flat tire.

You ran over a nail?

Somebody slashed it.

You want some help?

Thanks.

I've got a spare
in the back.

Hey, Luke!

Why isn't your dad helping you
with that tire?

I'm sure he'd like
to bend over.

( guys snickering )

New Year's Resolution:

Punch people less.

I had the same one.

You think I'm getting
what I deserve?

After all these years
of being a jackass?

Definitely.

But, why don't we
get out of here?

The tire can wait.

Yeah.
That sounds good.

Go, go, go, break that tackle!

Go! Yeah!

Who plays PlayStation
for the sports games?

Listen to me. You said
Seth-Ryan time, okay?

This isn't Seth-Ryan time.

This is Seth-Luke-Ryan time
and you know what?

Guess what?

No such thing
as Seth-Luke-Ryan time.

Maybe Luke will have
some good advice.

What does he know about juggling
women?

Come on.

Okay, quite a bit.

But he
wasn't good at it.

He's having a bad day.

Having
a bad day, okay?

I'm having a bad week.

Some kids at school
slashed his tires.

Damn it.

What do you think
he wants on his pizza?

Cohen, Check the replay
on this tackle.

I broke this bitch in half.

Luke has a gay dad.

Can't wait
to see it, buddy.

( phone rings )

Hello?

MARISSA:
Hey.

Hey.

I'm at Oliver's.

And he just ordered
way too much food.

Look, I know you said you wanted to spend
tonight apart, but he asked me to call

and see if you wanted to come.

You're at Oliver's?

Summer had plans and then I saw
Oliver at therapy and he said if I wanted...

Mm, that's so good.

OLIVER:
It's Moroccan.

What's Moroccan?

The food.
Just come, okay?

See you soon.

( dial tone )

How do you guys feel
about Moroccan?

I think I really hurt that guy.

Where's the silverware?

No, man.
Moroccan you eat with your hands.

Hey, no wonder Luke seems
to be enjoying it so much.

How good is the cous cous?
Mm, amazing.

It's pretty good.

No, that's the kefta.

Cous cous is
the other thing.

Dude, I cannot believe
you live in a penthouse, man.

This place is ridonkulous.

Yeah, it's always been my
fantasy to live in a hotel.

Like Eloise.

Yeah, well, I guess,

but with my parents
traveling so much

you can get lonely.

If you ever need
any company.

Thanks, 'cause, you know,
they might be gone awhile,

opening a new hotel
in Paris.

I love Paris.

I could spend all day
walking the Champs Elysées.

I like Paris,
I love baguettes.

Dude, French chicks
don't even shave their armpits.

You ever been
to Paris, Ryan?

No, not yet.

I hear the Louvre's cool.

Do not go
near that place.

Totally overrated.

The Mona Lisa
is like the size of a stamp.

Now the Rodin Museum.

And Musee Picasso?

You know where
my family's been spending their time?

Switzerland.

Snowboarding the Alps
is unreal.

You boarded the Alps?

Closest I've ever
come is Whistler.

Family's got a place
in Big Bear.

We should go one weekend.

Think you could teach
Ryan to board?

If you get him
on a chairlift.

First two days,
you'll be on your ass,

but we'll get you there.

I really like this song.

You know they're playing
tomorrow.

Yeah, but it's
all sold out.

You want to go?

Yeah, but it's all sold out.

I'll call their
manager tomorrow.

They're amazing live.

You know Rooney?

That would be awesome.

I've never heard of them,
but I've got nothing.

I'll go.

Ryan?

C'mon, man.
We'll all get to hang out.

It'll be fun.

Uh, cool.

Alright, then it's
settled: we're going.

On me.

SETH:
Nice.

MARISSA:
This is gonna be great.

So now you're eating
with silverware?

Next thing, I'll see
you at the Louvre.

No, you won't, because,
like Oliver said, it's lame.

Can we please focus on the crisis
at hand for one second?

Okay? Summer.
The way I figure it,

got many, many options
at my fingertips.

Like the truth.
That's a good one.

Hey, no argument
there, buddy.

What
I'm talking about,

is my messenger
of truth, okay?

My delivery system
of honesty.

The way I tell her.
Now, I could call her.

That's one.
Okay.

It's okay,
but it's just okay.

I think it lacks any real
spark or imagination.

But it's effective.

Your voice on one end,
hers on the other.

"I'm dating Anna."
She'll hear you.

But the phone is
a rather blunt instrument, no?

Now, what about text messaging?

Huh? I could
Blackberry her.

Think about it.
That feels very hip.

Feels edgy, feels 21st century.
Kind of cold.

Mittens required. Yes.
Uh... Ooh...

A carrier pigeon.

How cool would that be?
Think about it.

A message
all rolled up

in his cute
little talons.

Summer's a fan of the pigeon.
You're a coward.

Am I? Or am I just too sensitive
to the feelings of others?

Coward, definitely.

I'll tell her Monday.

Actually, I think Tuesday.
You know what, dude?

Might just give it till Friday
because, she can have the weekend

to let it marinate.

Could do it today.

No. Because today
will soon be tonight,

and tonight will be Rooney,
and Rooney will be awesome.

Rooney. I saw him open
for the Vines

in L.A. last year.

Yeah?
We're seeing them tonight.

Thought it was sold out.

Mm-hmm. It happens they are,
but I also happen

to be dialed in.

I've got the hookups.

Or at least Oliver does,
and I'm going to ride his coattails.

Oliver? As in...

Oliver, the guy who wanted
to kiss your girlfriend on New Year's.

Morning, Hailey.

It's not like that--
he's got a girlfriend.

Wait. If he has a girlfriend,

why is he
hanging with yours?

Couldn't tell,
but thanks.

The guy seems cool, right?
I don't know.

We don't really seem
to have a lot in common.

Besides
your girlfriend.

Keep twisting the knife.
Feels good.

Whatever. Got
us backstage passes.

That's good
enough for me.

Backstage? So now
you have to worry

about your girl
with Oliver

and rock stars?

Mind if I finish
the corn flakes?

Hey, at least she asked.
It's a start.

SANDY:
Well, at least she's leaving the house.

It's a start.

And we'll have the place
to ourselves.

Yes. We can
eat bagels.

And I can wear my robe.

Or not. I can
have the remote back.

She's crammed that poor TiVo
full of every

E! True Hollywood special.

I think she's looking for tips.

That's nice, Sandy.

Well, I'm just saying,

she's cluttering up the TiVo,

and a clear TiVo
equals a clear mind.

Are we okay
with the kids

going to that
concert?

Yeah.

Well, what if
Rooney is, like,

death metal, Satan-worshipping
speed freaks?

Honey, honey, honey,
that went out, like, the late '90s.

I saw it

on a special on E!.

Listen, I'll run Rooney
up my proverbial flagpole,

but you have got
to speak to Hailey.

( Rooneys music playing )

So?

Yeah, it's...
it's my first time hearing it, so...

Well, that's why we're
doing a run-through now--

so you'll have heard it
before tonight.

Right.
So, we're going tonight?

Nah. It's your first concert,

we have free tickets,
backstage passes.

You're right. We should skip it.

That's not what I'm saying.

What are you saying?

Have you met Natalie?

No, but
I hear she's great.

And Oliver is... I mean...

Is someone jealous?

The song is good.

Turn it up really, really, loud.

* No one should call,
no one should ring *

* 'Cause no one's home...

( music continues )

Oliver will be
with Natalie,

Rooney is a really
good band

and tonight we're
going to have fun.

I know. There won't
be dancing, right?

I'll dance.
You can watch.

Works for me.

* I'm sorry, sorry for making
your life a living hell *

* I'm sorry, sorry for making
your life a living hell... *

( music continues )

( music stops )

I think
that's enough.

What?

There was almost
a knee bend.

You were about to find the beat.
And?

And need I remind you
of cousin Jeffrey's bar mitzvah?

You almost wiped out six
13-year-olds

on the dance floor.

It's that "YMCA" song.

It requires a lot
of movement.

I'm just trying
to spare causalities.

So, at this concert tonight,

anyone there going
to be doing drugs?

I hope so. Otherwise,
it's a lame-ass concert.

Anyone named Seth going
to be doing any drugs?

No. Nobody
named Seth Cohen.

Promise. I've got
to stay sharp

and focused, 'cause it's my
first date with Anna.

It is?
Mm-hmm.

So you and Summer
finally had the talk.

Oh, yes.
Almost several times.

Seth?
Father?

The sooner you tell her,

the better you're going to feel
about everything.

Don't really believe that
to be the case.

Sort of feeling
like the longer I wait

to tell her, the
longer I'll feel great.

The best advice
I can give you is this:

It's from Steven Segal
in his classic film

Hard To Kill.

"The anticipation of death

is far worse than death itself."

Right, so then, we both
agree that Summer's going to kill me.

Look...

if you're old enough
to go to a concert alone,

if you're old enough to embark
on a real relationship,

you are old enough to be a man.

Well, she's not going
to be there tonight,

so... I'll tell her Monday.

Good.

Now, get going.

Your mother and I want
some time alone.

Hey, there's a visual

that I don't want
to take with me tonight.

Well, son,
your mom's a hottie,

and I got her.

* You want in

* You want in

* Listen carefully...

I don't see him.

Maybe he's inside.

Excuse me, are
you on the list?

Uh, yeah,
we're with Oliver Trask.

Who's Oliver Trask?
You don't have his name?

No, I don't have his
name-- I've never heard his name.

That's why I'm asking,
"Who's Oliver Trask?"

Thanks, you've been
very helpful.

I'm just going to call him
and see where he is.

There's a lot of freaks here,
huh, Cohen?

Yeah, good job, Luke.

That should help make
us a lot of friends.

Damn it.
What?

They're going
to go on soon.

If Oliver's not here
in two minutes,

we're going to miss
the first song.

They only have one album,

so you factor in
your standard cover,

that's, like, 12 songs.

Oh, no, but, hey,
Yeah.

I mean, come on,
if we don't get in,

we're still going
to have fun tonight, right?

What are we going to do?
Hey!

I hope you guys
aren't waiting for me.

Hey, Summer.

Cohen. Hey, Anna.

Summer.
Hi.

Who are you
talking to?

It just goes straight
to voicemail.

Dude,
look at that freak.

( anxious laugh )

Drove alone, Anna.
Will you ride with me?

Guys want
to give up so early?

Maybe I can grease
a few palms.

OLIVER:
Hey.

ALL:
Hey!

There you guys are.

What's up, man?
What's up?

Hi.
Hi.

Thought you
were a no-show.

What happened?

I-I thought I
said back door.

No, you didn't.

MAN:
We'll load in here.

( car doors closing )

The band's here.

What's happening?
What up, guys?

Robert, how's
it goin', man?

Dude, it's good.
It's good to see you.

Looking forward
to the show.

Thank you, man.
Yeah.

See you.

SETH:
Guess we're on time.

Which one's Rooney?

( laughing ):
They're all Rooney.

Hey, man, this
is my posse.

( laughing )

MARISSA:
Hey.

So, where's Natalie?

Yeah, we had
another fight.

This whole long distance thing is tough.

Looks like I'm
dateless tonight.

Hey, no, no way.

We'll be your date,
right?

Yeah, right.

So... should we fire up
the hot tub?

Oh, interesting.
Open a bottle of wine.

Oh, I like it.

First stop, TiVo. I'm going to
erase all of Hailey's programs.

HAILEY:
A pizza?

Hailey!
Hey, guys, you're just in time.

Doctor. Doctor.

James.

What's up?

Oh, I-I just thought
that you were going out tonight.

We were, but then
I found out

there's a Golden Girls
marathon on Lifetime,

and I decided to dig up
all my favorite board games.

We're having a throwback
to the old baby-sitting days.

HAILEY:
Why don't you guys join us?

Great. That would be great.

Uh-huh.

Oh, I love this episode.
Hey, this is...

the one
where Rose adopts the pig.

JAMES: She adopted the pig?
Uh-huh.

You play?

A little.
Here, man.

All Access! Sweet!

Hey, it's cool?

It's cool.

Hey, check it out.

Seriously?
Yeah.

Awesome. I...

I've just got a few songs
that I wrote, uh...

* The first time

* I saw your eyes I knew

* We'd get it on, yeah...
Okay, I'm just...

Seth, all I'm saying is that
you have to tell her tonight.

No, I don't.

Hey.
Hey.

Here you go.

Thank you.
Hey, thank you.

So, Luke. He's...
Yeah, don't let him out much.

* No, he didn't--
yes, he did... *

( humming rhythm )

Yeah, but you guys are cool?
Having fun?

Everything's awesome.
Glad to hear it.

Yeah... everything
is not awesome.

Listen to me, okay?
If I don't tell Summer tonight,

then later, when I tell, she'll remember

the fun time at Rooney,
and that will cheer her up.

There'll never be
a good time to tell.

If you think about it, tonight's
not a bad night.

There's a lot
of guys here.

A lot of cute,older guys.

There's a lot
of musicians.

Girls like musicians.

Maybe you're right.

Are we flattering ourselves?

Am I flattering myself to think
that someone will care?

I mean, me compared to...

you know, that dude
or-or-or-or that guy?

Right.
Are you checking out

dudes again, Cohen?

( laughing )
No.

But there're plenty that are out
here tonight,

aren't there, Summer?

A lot of musicians.

In fact, you know what?

Think I'm going
to find some myself.

Why don't you and Seth talk,
you know, about anything.

Um... Cohen,
you and Anna...

Me and Anna, what?

What?

Um, will you guys stand
with me at the concert?

Marissa's, like, on
a date, and I'm all alone tonight, so...

Okay, that'd be nice.

( singing melody )

( dialing phone )

Yeah, hey, man.

Yeah, I thought your boy was supposed
to be here, like, an hour ago.

No, okay, no excuses.

I don't... don't care
who you send, alright?

Just make sure it's good
and it gets here quick.

Alright.

* Who's that you're going
all around with *

* Well, I don't know

* You give him
so much attention *

* But his heart,
he just won't show... *

Hey. I can't see.

I'm stuck behind
a row of giants.

Come with me.

Okay, lead the way.

* He puts the car in reverse
before it's said *

* Who's that you're going
all around with *

Oh... Sorry.

* I don't know...

Hey.

Did you tell?
What'd she say?

Uh...
Did she leave?

No, Summer is bringing

some refreshments
for her friends.

Seth said
you were thirsty.

SETH:
You are thirsty, aren't you?

( whispering ):
You suck.

( mouthing )

I got to pee.

You got to pee?
I'll come with.

( mouthing )

( laughing )

You know the night
that Mom and Dad

came home early from
Palm Springs...

And we flushed all that
beer down the toilet?

Lot of good that did.

Dad caught you guys throwing out
the empty beer bottles.

I thought you
were sleeping.

Face it, sister--

everything I know,
I learned from you.

You were a bad influence,
back in the day.

Where do you think I learned
to piss off Dad?

The student becomes the master.

Yeah, and the master
becomes Dad's slave,

helping to turn paradise
into a parking lot.

Or at least a three-car garage.

Hey, ooh,

connect four.

Congratulations.

Next Saturday,
Yahtzee.

HAILEY:
No, wait. Stay.

Battleship, Uno?

You know,
Sandy's right, it's late.

And besides,
I have a show home

waiting for me
in the morning.

Just what Orange County needs.

Another one of Dad's show homes

airlifted from the
mansion factory

and dropped from the sky.
The one on

the bluff that
you mentioned.

That's a great house.

Yeah, if by great you mean

overbuilt, overpriced,

and exactly
like this one?

Oh, nice.
Hailey, nice.

I was kidding.

I'm laughing on the inside.
I'm not.

You're living in our home.

You're insulting my wife.

You're driving
my whole family crazy.

Is this true?
Yeah.

And we all know
what you're doing here.

She didn't
mean anything.

It's just sisters.

No, all this talk about plans,
about growing up,

it's shtick.

It's a routine and it's tired.

Know who's tired?
Me.

So, why don't
we just stop.

No, stop
protecting her.

You're not even nice to Kirsten

and she's the reason
why we're putting up with you.

Well, you won't have
to put up with me

for much longer, okay?

( clattering )

( sighing )

Sorry?

Oh, it's not your fault,
Jimmy.

No, I meant the board game.

* Thank you
for being a friend *

* Traveled down the
road and back again *

BOTH: * Your heart is true,
you're a pal and a confidant. *

You like The Golden Girls?
Yes.

There's a marathon on
this weekend, on Lifetime.

Cannot get that song out of my head.
I love The Golden Girls.

I mean, it's not Rose's fault,
she just is that way.

You're Rose?
Yeah?

I'm Blanche.
Ah!

It's kind of weird

that I relate
to a 70-year-old woman...

How good was the episode
when there was a blackout.

Um, how about when Rose
adopts the pig?

And then Sophia
loses her glasses

and then she thinks
that the pig is a baby.

Yeah.
It's so funny.

( humming theme song )

Jimmy.

Wait.

Sorry about that in there.

My little... tantrum.

Oh, listen, it's complicated
between you and your sister.

It always has been.

You got to go,
like, right now?

Yeah, I don't know
if I ever told you, Hailey,

but I'm an extremely
important person,

and, um,
so I have to...

Yeah, no.
Marissa's at a concert.

Yep,
nothing but time.

For a few minutes,

didn't tonight feel
like the good old days?

No, actually,
it was more like

two kind of pathetic people
grasping for the old days.

Right. That, too.

Look, the good old days,
they're exactly that.

Would you really want
to be back in high school?

BOTH:
Yeah.

I would, too.

And you think I'm pathetic?

Yes, I do.

It's, uh, sad, really.

I always had a crush
on you, you know that?

Uh, no, I, you know,

you were eight when I went away
to college, so I, I wasn't...

Look, uh,
you're, um...

Kirsten's sister.

So I've heard all my life.

Look, we don't want
to make

a complicated situation even
more complicated, right?

I mean, the last thing we need

is having Sandy
or Kirsten catching us.

Unless that's
what you were hoping for.

Look, your sister is amazing

and Sandy is such
a great guy.

I think
you're lucky

to have them
looking out for you.

I know that I am.

I'm going to go.

Okay.

( car starts )

( "I'm Shakin'" plays )

* I forgot what it feels like

* To feel normal,
to be normal *

* And I forgot
what food tastes like *

* The way it tastes right

* The taste buds taste right

* I wake up
in so much spit and sweat *

* It is not normal

* What is normal?

* Well, I go to bed

* When I wake up

* After cleaning all

* All the spit and sweat

* Now I'm, now I'm
sha-sha-shakin' *

* Sha-shakin',
I'm sha-sha-shakin' *

* Sha-shakin',
I'm sha-sha-shakin' *

* Sha-shakin',
I'm sha-sha-shakin' *

* Sha-shakin' now...

* Whoa-oh-oh-oh

* Tossed and turned
all night 'cause I *

* 'Cause I was looking for,
for an ending... *

Hey, I'm going to, uh...

Hey, this
is great, right?

Perfect.

Come here a second.

* The next day came
but not a beam of light *

* Because the blinds were shut

* Sha-sha-sha-shut too tight

* I fell out of bed
laced with spit and sweat *

* It made me very cold,
It made me very cold *

* Now I'm, now I'm
sha-sha-shakin' *

* Sha-shakin',
I'm sha-sha-shakin'... *

What are we doing?

This is better.

Wait, but we're
missing the concert,

and we can't
ditch Oliver.

Oliver's fine.
He's friends with the band.

And with us.

Hey, I thought you said

you wanted us
to hang out with friends?

You've known him two weeks.

How good a friend can he be?

Look, he's in recovery
trying to stay clean.

I don't know,
we can talk about stuff.

He tells me things,
what he's going through.

Unlike me, right?

I didn't say that.

Look, I know you didn't
want to come here tonight,

so, I mean, I guess
if you want to leave...

Right.

Later.

* Sha-sha-shakin'

* Sha-shakin,
I'm sha-sha-shakin' *

* Sha-shakin'...

LUKE:
* Sha-shakin', I'm sha-sha-shakin'! *

Hey, Luke.

Hey, man, you know
who sings this song?

Rooney!
Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Rooney!

I wish he'd
keep it that way.

Yeah!

Rooney!

* Yeah, yeah, yeah...

( song continues in distance )

OLIVER:
What the hell, man?!

Get off me!

Hey!

Hey!

Get off me!
I'm a cop.

What?
There's got to be some kind of mistake.

Yeah, his.

He just tried to buy

three grams
of coke from me.

Ryan, go back inside.

Don't tell anybody.

( mellow rock playing )

* Hey, baby

* You've hit me again,
one more time *

* You said bye-bye,
bye-bye, bye, good-bye *

* Well, I don't want to be
with you tonight *

* Forever

* Do you understand
my monologue? *

Excuse me, uh...
barkeep, sir.

Excuse...

Hey.

Hey.

What can I get you?

How did you do that?

The usual?

Mountain Dew.
How many?

Unfortunately three.

So Anna's telling Summer
that we're a couple

and when
they get back,

I will officially be
in a relationship with Anna,

unless Summer kills me
in which case,

you've been like
a brother.

Glad to hear, 'cause
I need your keys and phone.

Yeah? You okay?

I'm fine. It's Oliver.

What?
What's going on?

I'll tell you later?
Yeah, alright.

You're going to miss a hell of a
show though,

and Rooney's not bad either.

Is Jimmy gone?

Yeah.
Is she alright?

I knocked.
She didn't answer.

Maybe she's giving us
the house back for the night.

Or maybe she's packing,

and when we wake up, she'll be
gone,

and frankly,
I'd rather have her here

where I can keep an eye on her
than anywhere else.

( phone ringing )

You can't keep
her here forever.

It's no good for her
and it's no good for us.

Hello.

Hey, what's wrong?

Where are you?

I'll be right there.

Ryan's at the police station.

( cheering and applause )

Thank you, Newport Beach.

Goodnight everybody. Thank you.

Seth.

Hey.
Where you been?

At the bar.
How did it go?

It was amazing.

They played the whole album.

Not Rooney.

How did it go with Summer?
Did you tell?

Tell me what?

So you're a couple.

Yes.
No.

That is, we wanted
to tell you first before we

officially became a couple,
which now, yes we are.

So, you chose Anna?
No.

Kind of yeah.

She came over
on New Year's Eve.

You were with me
on New Year's Eve.

Technically, Summer, you
were with that guy, Allen.

Remember?
And you kept insisting

that I go find
someone to kiss,

so... I did.

SETH:
I was taking out the garbage,

she was in the driveway,
you know how these things go.

Okay.
Well, congrats.

You're not mad?

No. Huh-uh.

Good, because I really
didn't want this

to affect our
relationship.

Well, Anna, I have to say
that Rose would have never

pulled that New Year's stunt
on Blanche.

I know, I'm sorry.

Although, Blanche would have
done it to Rose, so.

So, can we still
all hang out?

Will you be
cool with that?

We both would really like
that if we could hang out.

Yeah.

Sure.

You guys, we can
totally hang out.

I mean, in fact, what are
you guys doing right now?

So, they're gonna let him go.

Really?
How'd you do that?

I'm just that good,

and I used to play
poker with these guys.

Thanks for doing this.

You didn't have to,
really.

Is this kid a
friend of yours?

He's a friend of Marissa's.
They met in therapy.

Said he's been clean
for a while, but...

Well, they busted him
trying to buy coke,

then he said his parents were
out of the country

for a month, believe that?

A parent leaving a kid
like that on his own.

Yeah, imagine that.

( chuckles )

I'll never understand it.

I hope not.

I'm glad you called me.

Me, too.

I'm going to finish up
your paperwork.

You sit tight.
I'll be right back.

So, thanks.

Seth's dad seems cool.

He is.

So, why'd you
do this for me?

I mean, you don't
even like me, man.

I don't really
know you.

Well, if it's
any consolation,

I don't like myself very
much right now either.

( sighs )

So, what happened?

I don't know.

Natalie didn't show,
and then I saw you and Marissa,

your friends.

Then it hit me.

I have no one.

My parents are gone.

My friends--
( wry laugh )

if you can even
call them that--

they all disappeared
when I got clean.

And now I...

There's Marissa.

Seth likes your taste
in music.

And Luke pretty much
likes everybody at this point.

( chuckles softly )

And what about you?

I mean, you must like me
a little to get me out of jail.

No, that was Sandy.

( phone ringing )
( sighs )

Marissa.

Are you going
to tell her?

No...

you are.

( phone ringing )

Hey.

Yeah, it's Oliver.

( scatting quietly )

Hey, whoa!
Hey, hey, hey, hey.

I can't have half?

There are other bagels.

Not salt bagels.
You know why that is?

Because you ate them all
and several sesame.

( sighs )

I haven't been
the best guest, I know.

And what you said tonight...

Oh, hey, hey,
Connect Four was happening.

It... it gets my blood up.

Well, you were right.

So, what's the plan?

To hit Caleb up for more cash
and then what?

Europe this time?

Iceland, Boca?

I don't know.

You know, I see how happy
you guys are and I think,

why can't I have that?

Because you don't want it.

How do you know what I want?
I don't even know what I want.

You could stay here.

I mean,
not here exactly,

but... you know,
get a home...

...a job, settle down.

No.

See, that's the thing.

All I know
is what I don't want.

Well, that's not
entirely true.

And the rest,
you'll figure out.

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

Hey.

Hey.

No, wait,
don't get up.

Thanks.

He's not a bad guy, Oliver.

This may come
as a shock to you,

but right now I don't want
to talk about Oliver.

Oh.
Oh.

Hey, wow,

uh, kissing.
Sorry about that.

Listen, we're all gonna
hang out inside,

but you guys are obviously
alone together, so do that.

Ryan, what happened
to you, man?!

Dude, Luke, please...
What?!

Someone stood a little
too close to the speaker.

Dude, that concert
did not suck at all!

( Anna laughs )

We PlayStationing it
or what?

Yeah.

Okay, anytime you
want to join us.

Come on,
let's go back to the house

before Luke wakes up
your parents.

Uh, I don't want to be
the third wheel

or watch you guys make out,
so enjoy.

Uh...

Well, we could stay here.

Yeah, but maybe
we should...

Race you.

LUKE: Cohen, you say you've
played this game before?

You see the way I
ripped that guy's spine out?

Sitting right here, buddy.

Hey.
Hey.

I'm so glad that
we all can hang together

like this, aren't you guys?

ANNA:
Yeah.

LUKE:
Ryan, you're up.

Cohen,
we'll make it best of five.

( girls laughing )

( screams )
Hey.

Hey, dude.
Whoa.

Football player...
( all laughing )

Soccer.
Soccer, yeah.

( Marissa laughing )

by paulonline