The Nanny (1993–1999): Season 6, Episode 9 - Oh, Say, Can You Ski? - full transcript
Fran is obsessing about not being pregnant. To get her mind off this fact, Maxwell thinks Fran needs to get away on a vacation. She doesn't really want to, until Maxwell tells her that he has managed to get the whole family invited to a state dinner in Aspen with President Bill Clinton. In Aspen, Fran makes quite the impression on the Clintons, whereas Maxwell came across as a babbling idiot. Fran made such an impression that the Clintons have invited her to go skiing with them. The problem: Fran doesn't know how to ski. After Fran has some problems at ski school, Maxwell ends up teaching her. However in a mishap, Fran and Maxwell get caught in an out of bounds area and are lost. To keep warm, Fran and Maxwell decide to get close to each other. They are rescued, and Fran eventually learns how to ski. But just as she's about to go skiing with the Clintons, Fran instead decides to spend time with Maxwell since she learned that their time lost was productive in more ways than one.
Thank you so much for coming by,
Dr. Reynolds.
It's nice to find a doctor
who'll make house calls.
It's nice to find a patient
who can afford them.
I just don't know what to do anymore.
Fran is obsessing
about still not being pregnant.
No need to worry.
All we have to do is talk to her calmly,
let her know that she's special...
and that there's nothing wrong
with her.
-Hi, Fran.
-Hi.
Why don't you tell me,
why you're upside down?
Well, I was watching The View,
and Barbara Walters says
that this helps you get pregnant.
Plus, you know, I'm taking those hormones
and I also got some fancy herbs
and he's been taking zinc.
-No, I haven't.
-Yeah, you have.
Remember those Tic Tacs that you said
that you thought tasted a little chalky?
This is sick! You are obsessive. Now stop!
Please, talk to her, doctor.
This is sick. You are obsessive. Now stop.
Okay. Now, Max and Fran,
I'm getting the feeling
that you're not following
my instructions at all.
Remember, having sex too often
can actually diminish your chances
of becoming pregnant.
Well, I assure you,
we're not doing it too often.
Honey.
There's something wrong with me.
No, no, sweetheart.
There's nothing wrong with you.
Fran, what you need to do is
let this problem float away.
Stop worrying.
For instance,
last night, I was lying in bed,
worrying about how I was gonna make
the down payment on my new Mercedes SL
and the moment I stopped worrying,
boom, house call.
You know, sweetheart,
we should listen to Dr. Reynolds.
We need to get our mind off this.
I know, why don't we get away
for a while.
No.
Come on,
Aspen's beautiful this time of year.
I don't wanna go to Aspen.
They got babies there.
Come on. We haven't been outside
of this room for two weeks.
That's not true.
Honey. Look, I know
what you're trying to do,
but nothing is going to take my mind off
of having a baby. Nothing will.
Not even an invitation to be guests
of the President
of the United States at his gala dinner?
Are we at his table?
Of course.
Oh, my God!
-We're going to meet the President.
-Yes. Isn't that exciting?
And he's only invited his closest friends.
Honey, I'm so impressed.
You should be.
Do you know how much it cost us
to become his closest friends?
Not as much as this house call.
She was working in a bridal shop
In Flushing, Queens
'Til her boyfriend kicked her out
In one of those crushing scenes
What was she to do, where was she to go?
She was out on her fanny
So over the bridge from Flushing
To the Sheffield's door
She was there to sell make-up
But the father saw more
She had style, she had flair
She was there
That's how she became the Nanny
Who would have guessed
That the girl we described
Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed?
Now the father finds her beguiling
Watch out, C.C.
And the kids are actually smiling
Such joie de vivre!
She's the lady in red
When everybody else is wearing tan
The flashy girl from Flushing
The Nanny named Fran
Sylvia, did you hear?
Your daughter and son-in-law
are taking me on vacation.
And all the help will be cooking for me...
cleaning for me... eavesdropping on me.
Niles, here's your plane ticket.
Oh my, I've never flown
first class before.
Wait a minute. That's Chester's. Here.
Standby?
Niles, lots of people cancel their trip
to Aspen
for Thanksgiving to meet the President.
By the way, when we get there
make sure everything's steamed.
I don't wanna meet the President
with any wrinkles.
Well then, you should have met Truman.
Miss Babcock, Niles is on vacation.
He's coming with us not as our butler,
but as our friend.
So when he unpacks, irons
and cooks stuff to fill the fridge,
it'll be as a friendly gesture.
Yeah.
-Nanny Fine, Maxwell and I are looking
-Yes?
to produce at the Kennedy Center,
so when you meet the President...
he doesn't wanna know anything
about your aunt's goiter,
your mother's... anything.
Or your campaign
to bring back the McRib.
I don't know.
I think he might sign that petition.
Look, Miss Babcock, I'm only going
to help take my mind off
of not having a baby!
I'm just gonna go and relax
and enjoy myself
and sit in front of a roaring fire.
Too bad, it sounds like the perfect place
to get pregnant.
Why do you think I'm going?
This is the most beautiful chalet
in the place.
Only the most special people get this.
I bet you say that
about all the chalets, don't you?
Have to. It's in the handbook.
Well, it's just a perfect room
to make a baby.
It's so sexy and romantic.
I can't imagine anybody
not loving to hang around here.
I feel so bad for Niles.
I mean, coming all the way to a ski resort
and then breaking your arm
and your collar bone
falling out of a limo.
This is gonna be
the worst vacation for him.
You know, Niles, this is all your fault.
If you hadn't put the leash on the dog,
-I wouldn't have tripped.
-Well, I had to.
He would've run away
and you would've lost him.
Well, why do you think I brought him
up here?
Sir, can't we hire someone else
to take care of her?
I'm sorry, Niles, but no one's allowed
up here unless they've been checked out
by the Secret Service.
I barely cleared.
Well, why can't she take care of her?
I can't push her. I'm just a little girl.
"I'm just a little girl."
Hello?
Darling, do you know where
the butler keeps the mini marshmallows?
Ma, what are you doing in our house?
Entertaining.
Louie! Do you mind?
Stop rocking the chair, you'll break it!
Thank God I didn't have it at my place.
Ma, who let you back in the house?
Who left?
So after the big gala,
are you gonna set up for a nice, romantic,
baby-making evening with your hubby?
No, Ma. I can't let Maxwell know
that I'm still obsessing on it.
Gonna have to do something
that's very subtle.
Well, if you want my advice, tonight,
you'll start trying and trying
and trying...
Ma, you're gonna have to stop thinking
about it.
Well, I can't!
The mini-marshmallows are
in the bottom drawer in the cabinet
to the left of the refrigerator.
Sweetheart, I put together
this list of topics for you to avoid
when you're speaking to the President.
Let's see...
don't mention anything about,
"White-water...
the Paula Jones settlement...
the phrase 'download the full text'...
Jennifer, Paula, Monica, Linda,
Kathleen, Ariana...
Kenneth, Newt...
McDougal... Orin, Al...
Sylvia, Morty,
Yetta, Freida, Rifka, Babca, Shishka..."
Excuse me, sir,
but we're here to meet the President?
Well, duh.
I'm, agent Chris Malley.
Secret Service.
Mind if I check your purse?
-Sure, sure.
-Thank you.
It's adorable.
You don't plan to check the purses
on the way out too, do you?
I do now.
Here you go. Right this way.
Hi, little fella. Hi.
How you doing?
All excited about meeting the President?
Mommy and Daddy gonna let you stay up
late tonight?
-I'm 17.
-Right, 17. Jeez, I didn't realize that.
Sorry. Right this way
to the senior's line, Grandpa.
Hello, Mrs. Clinton. I'm Fran Sheffield.
You look beautiful and very thin tonight.
Hil, you just got a little, over here.
No. To the left. Move to the left. Yeah.
Oy, you know what? Just let me. Let me.
Yeah, there you go.
Now I'm gonna go meet your husband.
Hello, Mr. President. I'm Fran Sheffield.
Hello, I'm Bill Clinton.
I know.
You know, your brother Roger lives
right next door to us in New York.
Well, not for long. He's moving.
Because he's sick
of dealing with that neighbor's mother.
You know,
the one with the big blonde hair
who's always screaming
and taking his pizzas.
How do you deal with it?
You know, we're thinking of moving too.
-Well, you're here with your family?
-Yes, yes.
I'm here with my kids
and my husband.
He's gonna be so excited to meet you.
He'll be here in a second. You know,
he was so worried that I was gonna say
something embarrassing.
Here's the Imodium A-D, honey.
Just knock on your father's stall.
You know, it could be the zinc
I'm giving him too.
We're trying to get pregnant,
but it just doesn't seem to be happening.
Is there anything I can do to help?
Excuse me. What did you say?
-Why is she hitting him?
-Nothing. Nothing.
This is my husband, Mr. President.
Maxwell.
How do you do, Mr. President?
It's a pleasure to meet you.
I've heard so much about you.
Of course, I haven't believed
everything I've heard or read,
but I haven't seen,
read or seen anything.
-I'm, actually, it is, I--
-Honey, honey, honey.
As they say in the theater,
let's leave them wanting more.
Oh, my God. I've just humiliated myself
in front of the
President of the United States of America.
-So, what are you smiling about?
-Because I didn't do it.
Honey, would you please stop worrying?
I just can't believe what I said.
I just totally lost control.
Sweetie, you're obsessing.
The way to stop thinking about it
is to do something else.
-You're right, sweetheart.
-Come on.
You think he thought I was an idiot?
Let it go.
Don't answer it.
I have to get that.
It could be the President calling
to see if I feel okay about what I said.
Stop it. Don't be ridiculous. Hello?
Hello!
It's the President's secretary.
-Yes.
-Tell him I feel okay.
-I didn't give it a second thought.
-Okay.
That would be lovely.
Thank you so much.
Thank you. Goodbye.
You're not gonna believe that.
The President and Hillary
want me to go skiing with them.
Get this, they thought I was charming.
That's... fantastic.
You're going skiing with the President
-of the United States of America.
-I know!
You'll take your camera.
-You'll get pictures.
-Yeah.
-You'll get autographs.
-Yeah.
You'll talk to him about me
doing the Kennedy Center thing.
Definitely.
You know, you are a wonderful woman.
Come on, let's take up where we left off.
What am I gonna wear?
Look at that guy skiing with Chelsea.
What does he have that I don't?
The last name DiCaprio?
Am I the only one worried about Fran?
She's skiing with the President.
She's never skied before.
Don't be worried. Her instructor said
she's heads above the rest of the class.
Okay, girls.
Ready to go down the hill
and get our skis?
-All right, everybody, hold hands.
-I don't wanna hold her hand.
She keeps pulling me down when she falls.
You are not a team player, little girl.
-And you're not a little girl.
-Girls.
Girls, enough.
Well, she started.
-Fran? Where's your guardian?
-What?
He's over there.
Well, I think you need to go over there
and take a time-out.
You girls are all in a clique and...
I don't wanna be in your clique.
-Honey.
-Sweetheart, what's the matter?
-Why are you crying?
-I only have five days
to learn how to ski for the President
and I'm not picking it up.
That's all right, sweetheart.
I'll teach you.
-Really? You don't mind?
-No, of course not.
I love you.
I saw that, Cecily!
How hard can it be to make the V?
Even five year olds can do it.
Well, thank you, Cecily.
Now, just squat, like this,
-get in a squatting position, all right?
-Okay.
Just like, with your weight forward.
Now, if you wanna turn to the right,
you do this.
You wanna turn to the left, you do this.
All right? Right, left.
Weight forward...
The important thing is knowing
how to-- stop!
Wait for me! Wait for me!
Honey, we've been here for two
and a half hours.
I don't think anyone is gonna find us.
Wait. My voice carries.
Help!
Sweetheart.
Snow hanging precariously above us.
Sweetie, I'm so cold.
Honey, why didn't you wear
your Long Johns like I told you?
Because it adds unnecessary bulk.
-Honey, what are we gonna do?
-Just let me hold you.
That'll warm you up. There.
-Warmer?
-I'm getting a little toasty.
You know,
this has always been a fantasy of mine.
What? To make love in the snow?
No, to make love with my ski instructor.
Oh, God bless you.
Niles.
Why aren't I any better?
I mean, it's been five days
since they rescued us off that mountain.
I can't ski and now,
I have this terrible cold on top of it.
Well, why don't you take something?
Well, I went to the clinic
to try and get a prescription,
but they said they wouldn't give me
any antibiotics
until they ran some stupid test.
Meanwhile, my ears are so plugged,
I can't even hear myself talk.
Lucky you.
I'm sorry. It's just that I've spent
my entire vacation
scratching parts of Miss Babcock's body
even she is loathed to touch.
Well, I can't wait for this pharmacy
to deliver the antibiotics anymore.
I'm just gonna have to go.
I mean, I ski with the President
in a half an hour.
You wanna come and have hot chocolate
in my cabin?
I get it. Now that you heard
that I'm skiing with the President,
you wanna be my best friend.
Well, no, thank you.
Fine.
Is Ingrid coming?
I'm so excited
about being with the President.
Yes. Civilians.
So, unjaded.
You know, I've never had
my very own Secret Service man before.
-Well... good.
-I feel so very safe and secure.
-What's that?
-We're gonna die!
We're gonna die!
-We're gonna die up here!
-Well, that's comforting.
It's a chairlift.
They have to stop it to let people off.
Okay.
What kind of a Secret Service man
are you, anyway?
A really bad one.
In fact, they only keep me around
because I guard the presidential parrot.
One day I left the window open.
"Hail to the chief, hail to the chief."
I gotta say that every time
they walk by the covered cage.
That's okay.
-Take it easy.
-Thank you. Thank you.
I'm very high-strung.
Boy, you're all man, aren't you?
-Take it easy. It's just a cell phone.
-Good.
-Yeah.
-Hello?
Yes. How come you never dropped off
my prescription?
Really?
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Yes, goodbye.
Oh, my God.
I'm pregnant.
Did you hear that?
The pharmacy called
and said that I'm pregnant!
I'm pregnant! I'm pregnant!
-Hi.
-Hi, sweetheart.
What are you doing back so soon?
I thought you would be with the President
for hours.
I didn't go. I wanted to be
with the most important man in my life.
What?
What is it, darling?
Sweetie, what did we come here for?
To go to a gala dinner with the President?
And?
To get him to agree to let me produce
at the Kennedy Center...
which he did.
Honey, I'm trying to be romantic,
but you're frustrating me a little here.
-Sorry, what are you trying to tell me?
-Let me give you a hint.
Do you remember when Dr. Reynolds said
what might happen if I would just relax?
-Yes.
-Well, remember how relaxed I was
in the cave?
Yes.
Darling...
Are we nodding and smiling
because you're trying to tell me
we're gonna have a baby?
Oh, God, sweetheart!
We're gonna have a baby!
Wait, wait, are they sure?
Absolutely, positively.
Sweetheart, I love you so much.
I love you.
Can you believe our good luck
that this trip happened
right now at this time?
I mean, think of it.
Because of President Clinton
I'm pregnant!
God bless America!
You know, this is my first Thanksgiving
that I'm eating for two.
You know, Sylvia, if you stop now
you'll be able to say the same.
-Honey, didn't you enjoy your dinner?
-Yeah, of course I did.
Well, then how come your pants
aren't undone and you're not saying,
"I'm so nauseous"?
Darling, I stop eating when I'm full.
He's foreign.
We have so much to be grateful for.
I know that I'm thankful
that I'm married and I'm pregnant.
And I'm thankful it was in that order.
Morty, are you all right?
You've been so quiet.
I'm nauseous.
I should have bet on Pittsburgh.
Dr. Reynolds.
It's nice to find a doctor
who'll make house calls.
It's nice to find a patient
who can afford them.
I just don't know what to do anymore.
Fran is obsessing
about still not being pregnant.
No need to worry.
All we have to do is talk to her calmly,
let her know that she's special...
and that there's nothing wrong
with her.
-Hi, Fran.
-Hi.
Why don't you tell me,
why you're upside down?
Well, I was watching The View,
and Barbara Walters says
that this helps you get pregnant.
Plus, you know, I'm taking those hormones
and I also got some fancy herbs
and he's been taking zinc.
-No, I haven't.
-Yeah, you have.
Remember those Tic Tacs that you said
that you thought tasted a little chalky?
This is sick! You are obsessive. Now stop!
Please, talk to her, doctor.
This is sick. You are obsessive. Now stop.
Okay. Now, Max and Fran,
I'm getting the feeling
that you're not following
my instructions at all.
Remember, having sex too often
can actually diminish your chances
of becoming pregnant.
Well, I assure you,
we're not doing it too often.
Honey.
There's something wrong with me.
No, no, sweetheart.
There's nothing wrong with you.
Fran, what you need to do is
let this problem float away.
Stop worrying.
For instance,
last night, I was lying in bed,
worrying about how I was gonna make
the down payment on my new Mercedes SL
and the moment I stopped worrying,
boom, house call.
You know, sweetheart,
we should listen to Dr. Reynolds.
We need to get our mind off this.
I know, why don't we get away
for a while.
No.
Come on,
Aspen's beautiful this time of year.
I don't wanna go to Aspen.
They got babies there.
Come on. We haven't been outside
of this room for two weeks.
That's not true.
Honey. Look, I know
what you're trying to do,
but nothing is going to take my mind off
of having a baby. Nothing will.
Not even an invitation to be guests
of the President
of the United States at his gala dinner?
Are we at his table?
Of course.
Oh, my God!
-We're going to meet the President.
-Yes. Isn't that exciting?
And he's only invited his closest friends.
Honey, I'm so impressed.
You should be.
Do you know how much it cost us
to become his closest friends?
Not as much as this house call.
She was working in a bridal shop
In Flushing, Queens
'Til her boyfriend kicked her out
In one of those crushing scenes
What was she to do, where was she to go?
She was out on her fanny
So over the bridge from Flushing
To the Sheffield's door
She was there to sell make-up
But the father saw more
She had style, she had flair
She was there
That's how she became the Nanny
Who would have guessed
That the girl we described
Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed?
Now the father finds her beguiling
Watch out, C.C.
And the kids are actually smiling
Such joie de vivre!
She's the lady in red
When everybody else is wearing tan
The flashy girl from Flushing
The Nanny named Fran
Sylvia, did you hear?
Your daughter and son-in-law
are taking me on vacation.
And all the help will be cooking for me...
cleaning for me... eavesdropping on me.
Niles, here's your plane ticket.
Oh my, I've never flown
first class before.
Wait a minute. That's Chester's. Here.
Standby?
Niles, lots of people cancel their trip
to Aspen
for Thanksgiving to meet the President.
By the way, when we get there
make sure everything's steamed.
I don't wanna meet the President
with any wrinkles.
Well then, you should have met Truman.
Miss Babcock, Niles is on vacation.
He's coming with us not as our butler,
but as our friend.
So when he unpacks, irons
and cooks stuff to fill the fridge,
it'll be as a friendly gesture.
Yeah.
-Nanny Fine, Maxwell and I are looking
-Yes?
to produce at the Kennedy Center,
so when you meet the President...
he doesn't wanna know anything
about your aunt's goiter,
your mother's... anything.
Or your campaign
to bring back the McRib.
I don't know.
I think he might sign that petition.
Look, Miss Babcock, I'm only going
to help take my mind off
of not having a baby!
I'm just gonna go and relax
and enjoy myself
and sit in front of a roaring fire.
Too bad, it sounds like the perfect place
to get pregnant.
Why do you think I'm going?
This is the most beautiful chalet
in the place.
Only the most special people get this.
I bet you say that
about all the chalets, don't you?
Have to. It's in the handbook.
Well, it's just a perfect room
to make a baby.
It's so sexy and romantic.
I can't imagine anybody
not loving to hang around here.
I feel so bad for Niles.
I mean, coming all the way to a ski resort
and then breaking your arm
and your collar bone
falling out of a limo.
This is gonna be
the worst vacation for him.
You know, Niles, this is all your fault.
If you hadn't put the leash on the dog,
-I wouldn't have tripped.
-Well, I had to.
He would've run away
and you would've lost him.
Well, why do you think I brought him
up here?
Sir, can't we hire someone else
to take care of her?
I'm sorry, Niles, but no one's allowed
up here unless they've been checked out
by the Secret Service.
I barely cleared.
Well, why can't she take care of her?
I can't push her. I'm just a little girl.
"I'm just a little girl."
Hello?
Darling, do you know where
the butler keeps the mini marshmallows?
Ma, what are you doing in our house?
Entertaining.
Louie! Do you mind?
Stop rocking the chair, you'll break it!
Thank God I didn't have it at my place.
Ma, who let you back in the house?
Who left?
So after the big gala,
are you gonna set up for a nice, romantic,
baby-making evening with your hubby?
No, Ma. I can't let Maxwell know
that I'm still obsessing on it.
Gonna have to do something
that's very subtle.
Well, if you want my advice, tonight,
you'll start trying and trying
and trying...
Ma, you're gonna have to stop thinking
about it.
Well, I can't!
The mini-marshmallows are
in the bottom drawer in the cabinet
to the left of the refrigerator.
Sweetheart, I put together
this list of topics for you to avoid
when you're speaking to the President.
Let's see...
don't mention anything about,
"White-water...
the Paula Jones settlement...
the phrase 'download the full text'...
Jennifer, Paula, Monica, Linda,
Kathleen, Ariana...
Kenneth, Newt...
McDougal... Orin, Al...
Sylvia, Morty,
Yetta, Freida, Rifka, Babca, Shishka..."
Excuse me, sir,
but we're here to meet the President?
Well, duh.
I'm, agent Chris Malley.
Secret Service.
Mind if I check your purse?
-Sure, sure.
-Thank you.
It's adorable.
You don't plan to check the purses
on the way out too, do you?
I do now.
Here you go. Right this way.
Hi, little fella. Hi.
How you doing?
All excited about meeting the President?
Mommy and Daddy gonna let you stay up
late tonight?
-I'm 17.
-Right, 17. Jeez, I didn't realize that.
Sorry. Right this way
to the senior's line, Grandpa.
Hello, Mrs. Clinton. I'm Fran Sheffield.
You look beautiful and very thin tonight.
Hil, you just got a little, over here.
No. To the left. Move to the left. Yeah.
Oy, you know what? Just let me. Let me.
Yeah, there you go.
Now I'm gonna go meet your husband.
Hello, Mr. President. I'm Fran Sheffield.
Hello, I'm Bill Clinton.
I know.
You know, your brother Roger lives
right next door to us in New York.
Well, not for long. He's moving.
Because he's sick
of dealing with that neighbor's mother.
You know,
the one with the big blonde hair
who's always screaming
and taking his pizzas.
How do you deal with it?
You know, we're thinking of moving too.
-Well, you're here with your family?
-Yes, yes.
I'm here with my kids
and my husband.
He's gonna be so excited to meet you.
He'll be here in a second. You know,
he was so worried that I was gonna say
something embarrassing.
Here's the Imodium A-D, honey.
Just knock on your father's stall.
You know, it could be the zinc
I'm giving him too.
We're trying to get pregnant,
but it just doesn't seem to be happening.
Is there anything I can do to help?
Excuse me. What did you say?
-Why is she hitting him?
-Nothing. Nothing.
This is my husband, Mr. President.
Maxwell.
How do you do, Mr. President?
It's a pleasure to meet you.
I've heard so much about you.
Of course, I haven't believed
everything I've heard or read,
but I haven't seen,
read or seen anything.
-I'm, actually, it is, I--
-Honey, honey, honey.
As they say in the theater,
let's leave them wanting more.
Oh, my God. I've just humiliated myself
in front of the
President of the United States of America.
-So, what are you smiling about?
-Because I didn't do it.
Honey, would you please stop worrying?
I just can't believe what I said.
I just totally lost control.
Sweetie, you're obsessing.
The way to stop thinking about it
is to do something else.
-You're right, sweetheart.
-Come on.
You think he thought I was an idiot?
Let it go.
Don't answer it.
I have to get that.
It could be the President calling
to see if I feel okay about what I said.
Stop it. Don't be ridiculous. Hello?
Hello!
It's the President's secretary.
-Yes.
-Tell him I feel okay.
-I didn't give it a second thought.
-Okay.
That would be lovely.
Thank you so much.
Thank you. Goodbye.
You're not gonna believe that.
The President and Hillary
want me to go skiing with them.
Get this, they thought I was charming.
That's... fantastic.
You're going skiing with the President
-of the United States of America.
-I know!
You'll take your camera.
-You'll get pictures.
-Yeah.
-You'll get autographs.
-Yeah.
You'll talk to him about me
doing the Kennedy Center thing.
Definitely.
You know, you are a wonderful woman.
Come on, let's take up where we left off.
What am I gonna wear?
Look at that guy skiing with Chelsea.
What does he have that I don't?
The last name DiCaprio?
Am I the only one worried about Fran?
She's skiing with the President.
She's never skied before.
Don't be worried. Her instructor said
she's heads above the rest of the class.
Okay, girls.
Ready to go down the hill
and get our skis?
-All right, everybody, hold hands.
-I don't wanna hold her hand.
She keeps pulling me down when she falls.
You are not a team player, little girl.
-And you're not a little girl.
-Girls.
Girls, enough.
Well, she started.
-Fran? Where's your guardian?
-What?
He's over there.
Well, I think you need to go over there
and take a time-out.
You girls are all in a clique and...
I don't wanna be in your clique.
-Honey.
-Sweetheart, what's the matter?
-Why are you crying?
-I only have five days
to learn how to ski for the President
and I'm not picking it up.
That's all right, sweetheart.
I'll teach you.
-Really? You don't mind?
-No, of course not.
I love you.
I saw that, Cecily!
How hard can it be to make the V?
Even five year olds can do it.
Well, thank you, Cecily.
Now, just squat, like this,
-get in a squatting position, all right?
-Okay.
Just like, with your weight forward.
Now, if you wanna turn to the right,
you do this.
You wanna turn to the left, you do this.
All right? Right, left.
Weight forward...
The important thing is knowing
how to-- stop!
Wait for me! Wait for me!
Honey, we've been here for two
and a half hours.
I don't think anyone is gonna find us.
Wait. My voice carries.
Help!
Sweetheart.
Snow hanging precariously above us.
Sweetie, I'm so cold.
Honey, why didn't you wear
your Long Johns like I told you?
Because it adds unnecessary bulk.
-Honey, what are we gonna do?
-Just let me hold you.
That'll warm you up. There.
-Warmer?
-I'm getting a little toasty.
You know,
this has always been a fantasy of mine.
What? To make love in the snow?
No, to make love with my ski instructor.
Oh, God bless you.
Niles.
Why aren't I any better?
I mean, it's been five days
since they rescued us off that mountain.
I can't ski and now,
I have this terrible cold on top of it.
Well, why don't you take something?
Well, I went to the clinic
to try and get a prescription,
but they said they wouldn't give me
any antibiotics
until they ran some stupid test.
Meanwhile, my ears are so plugged,
I can't even hear myself talk.
Lucky you.
I'm sorry. It's just that I've spent
my entire vacation
scratching parts of Miss Babcock's body
even she is loathed to touch.
Well, I can't wait for this pharmacy
to deliver the antibiotics anymore.
I'm just gonna have to go.
I mean, I ski with the President
in a half an hour.
You wanna come and have hot chocolate
in my cabin?
I get it. Now that you heard
that I'm skiing with the President,
you wanna be my best friend.
Well, no, thank you.
Fine.
Is Ingrid coming?
I'm so excited
about being with the President.
Yes. Civilians.
So, unjaded.
You know, I've never had
my very own Secret Service man before.
-Well... good.
-I feel so very safe and secure.
-What's that?
-We're gonna die!
We're gonna die!
-We're gonna die up here!
-Well, that's comforting.
It's a chairlift.
They have to stop it to let people off.
Okay.
What kind of a Secret Service man
are you, anyway?
A really bad one.
In fact, they only keep me around
because I guard the presidential parrot.
One day I left the window open.
"Hail to the chief, hail to the chief."
I gotta say that every time
they walk by the covered cage.
That's okay.
-Take it easy.
-Thank you. Thank you.
I'm very high-strung.
Boy, you're all man, aren't you?
-Take it easy. It's just a cell phone.
-Good.
-Yeah.
-Hello?
Yes. How come you never dropped off
my prescription?
Really?
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Yes, goodbye.
Oh, my God.
I'm pregnant.
Did you hear that?
The pharmacy called
and said that I'm pregnant!
I'm pregnant! I'm pregnant!
-Hi.
-Hi, sweetheart.
What are you doing back so soon?
I thought you would be with the President
for hours.
I didn't go. I wanted to be
with the most important man in my life.
What?
What is it, darling?
Sweetie, what did we come here for?
To go to a gala dinner with the President?
And?
To get him to agree to let me produce
at the Kennedy Center...
which he did.
Honey, I'm trying to be romantic,
but you're frustrating me a little here.
-Sorry, what are you trying to tell me?
-Let me give you a hint.
Do you remember when Dr. Reynolds said
what might happen if I would just relax?
-Yes.
-Well, remember how relaxed I was
in the cave?
Yes.
Darling...
Are we nodding and smiling
because you're trying to tell me
we're gonna have a baby?
Oh, God, sweetheart!
We're gonna have a baby!
Wait, wait, are they sure?
Absolutely, positively.
Sweetheart, I love you so much.
I love you.
Can you believe our good luck
that this trip happened
right now at this time?
I mean, think of it.
Because of President Clinton
I'm pregnant!
God bless America!
You know, this is my first Thanksgiving
that I'm eating for two.
You know, Sylvia, if you stop now
you'll be able to say the same.
-Honey, didn't you enjoy your dinner?
-Yeah, of course I did.
Well, then how come your pants
aren't undone and you're not saying,
"I'm so nauseous"?
Darling, I stop eating when I'm full.
He's foreign.
We have so much to be grateful for.
I know that I'm thankful
that I'm married and I'm pregnant.
And I'm thankful it was in that order.
Morty, are you all right?
You've been so quiet.
I'm nauseous.
I should have bet on Pittsburgh.