The Nanny (1993–1999): Season 6, Episode 21 - The Finale: Part 1 - full transcript

Previously on The Nanny,

Are we nodding and smiling
because you're trying

to tell me we're gonna have a baby?

-Hi, Daddy.
-Hello, sweetheart.

If the deal goes through
and I start producing,

we are moving to Beverly Hills.

So, Maggie, will you marry me?

-Yes!
-No!

Fran, I've decided,
I don't wanna go to college.

You're a--
You walk like a--

Marry me.



No. You turned him down
because he's not rich?

Miss Babcock,
why do you always think with your head?

-What does your heart say?
-Don't marry a maid.

Happy anniversary, darling.

You are so beautiful.

Even though I'm pregnant
and I gained a little weight?

Sweetheart. You know,
if I hadn't actually seen the sonogram,

I wouldn't even know
you were pregnant.

Really?

You know, sweetie,
you're just as exquisite

as the day I first met you.

Why don't you look in my eyes
and say that?

Because I can't see them over your tummy.

Honey.



I'm disgusting.

And you know
what the worst part of it all is?

I could go for a barbecued beef sandwich.

Well, sweetheart,

why don't I just mosey
over to that snack stand, again,

and see if I can't get you
a barbecued beef sandwich.

I love you, sweetie.

On a kaiser roll.

With Fritos!

And get me the--
You know what? Let me come too.

You'll never be able
to carry it all by yourself.

Wait.

-Fran, darling, are you all right?
-Honey.

You don't find me attractive anymore
'cause I'm a whale.

Sweetheart, you're carrying twins.

"Sweetheart, you're not a whale"
would have been the better way to go.

-Hiya, Fran.
-Hi.

Are we a little mopey?

Did she just call me Moby?

Dear, you don't have to tell me.

It sucks being a big, fat cow.

Doctor, Doctor, I don't understand.

My first wife had three children,

but she never experienced
these mood swings or the bloating

-or the huge ankles.
-She gave birth to gentiles.

Doc, when am I gonna have them already?

I know you don't realize this
because I am not a complainer,

but I'm very uncomfortable.

Frannie,

I know you love those little angels
inside you, but I bet you're thinking,

"When the hell are you gonna move out?"

Yeah, just try and get a Jewish kid
to leave his mother.

Well, you know,
doing a little light exercise,

can help induce labor.

I've got a good idea, sweetheart.
You know, Saturday's our anniversary.

So, why don't just the two of us go
for a nice romantic walk in the country?

-Okay.
-Maybe take a picnic?

Yeah, we could drive up to Connecticut
in the Aston Martin.

-I can't.
-Why?

Because I can't fit in the Aston Martin.

She was working in a bridal shop
In Flushing, Queens

'Til her boyfriend kicked her out
In one of those crushing scenes

What was she to do, where was she to go?
She was out on her fanny

So, over the bridge from Flushing
To the Sheffields' door

She was there to sell makeup
But the father saw more

She had style, she had flair
She was there

That's how she became the Nanny

Who would have guessed
That the girl we described

Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed?

-Now the father finds her beguiling
-Watch out, C.C.

-And the kids are actually smiling
-Such joie de vivre!

She's the lady in red
When everybody else is wearing tan

The flashy girl from Flushing
The Nanny named Fran

Honey, I'll tell you,
between planning the anniversary party,

and packing for California,
I'm exhausted already.

-Well, looks like you're almost done here.
-What are you talking about?

These are just my flats.

Fran, do you think you're doing
too much in your condition?

I mean, why are you, all of a sudden,
planning an anniversary party?

Well, because I can't fit
into a little English sports car

but I can fit
into a big French restaurant.

Look at this dress.

Do you think I'll ever be able
to fit in this again?

-You're not saying yes.
-Yes.

-When do you think--
-Soon.

Sweetie, I love you.

-I just felt a baby kick.
-I know.

Does it feel weird to have something
moving around in your stomach?

Listen, I was raised in a home

where we ate pastrami
and Heinz baked beans.

I'm used to movement.

Honey, look at the time.
We've gotta fly.

You don't wanna be late
for your therapy appointment.

Isn't it exciting? This is your last one.

Well, actually, I'm a little conflicted.

How did you know when you were
ready to stop your therapy?

Sweetie, that was easy.

I went to therapy

because I was terrified of being single.

I mean, I didn't think
you could be a complete woman,

unless you had a man.
I was very sick.

How'd you get over it?

Your daddy gave me this ring.

All right, the anniversary party is a go.

I've booked the restaurant,
reserved the musicians,

ordered the flowers,
picked out the cake,

and I'm on my way
to hand-deliver the invitations.

Well, I'll tell you, if all that work
doesn't bring on these babies,

I don't know what will.

That's Ma with the exercise tape.

The doctor also said
a light workout can help induce labor.

I'm sorry, but you're too tired
from planning the party

to have me do a light workout.

-Hello.
-Hello.

Yetta, I've never seen you in tights.

How'd you like to see me out of them?

-Darling, I rented two exercise tapes.
-Good.

And at the counter
I picked up peanut butter cups,

chocolate chips,

licorice.

I hope this tape brings on my labor,

although I really don't blame them
for wanting to stay in there.

I mean, all they do
is lie around all day,

it's 98 degrees,,
all-you-can-eat.

It's Miami in there.

You know, when my Sylvia was a baby,

when she was born,
she weighed 9 and a half pounds.

That's not so unusual.

It is when you're a preemie.

All right, ladies, take your positions.

Full circles, all the way.

Open up the chest area.
That's it.

Muscles in the chest tend to shorten

-during pregnancy.
-This isn't so bad.

-Just stretch it out.
-I could do this all day.

Yeah, but I don't see
how this is gonna induce labor.

Keep your back straight.
Keep your back...

Happy anniversary!

That's amazing.

So, Sylvia, what did you and Morty do
on your first anniversary?

We went to Puerto Rico.

-What about you, Yetta?
-We fled Poland.

Attention. Attention, everybody.

Ladies, gentlemen, attention.
May I have your attention, please?

My daughter has asked me
to sing this song to her husband, Maxwell,

in honor of her love for him
and because this is a special occasion.

Morty, we lose the room at midnight.

Anyway, I just want you all to know

how very proud I am
of my little girl.

Well, as you can see,
she's not so little but--

Sing, Daddy.

Okay.

Time after time

I tell myself

That I'm so lucky

To be loving you

So lucky to be

The one you run to see

In the evening

When the day is through

I will know

What I know

The passing years will show

You've kept my love so young

So new

And time after time

You'll hear me say that I'm

So lucky

To be loving

You

May I cut in?

Daddy.

I mean, I was thinking about
that while I was singing.

Come on. Very funny.

Come here, darling.

-Darling.
-That was so beautiful, Daddy.

Thank you, sweetheart.

And I know you're gonna
make your husband

as happy as Mother has made me.

Darling, I don't know if I told you
how happy I am

to have you as my son-in-law.

I know it hasn't been easy for you
to have us as in-laws,

because sometimes,
we can be a pain in the tuchus.

Sylvia, that's all right.
I learned to live with it.

Niles, isn't life strange?

For 20 years, we despised each other.

I mean, every time I looked
into those revolting eyes,

I wanted to retch, sweetie.

Dip me.

Sweetheart, I want to show you
something very special.

Look, right up there.

Honey,

that is the sweetest thing
anyone's ever done for me.

But did you have to do it on a blimp?

Babcock, I was thinking. I...

I know I shouldn't have asked you
to marry me when I did.

-We weren't ready.
-That's why I laughed in your face, lover.

But, I think we're ready now.

Will you marry me?

Niles, what just happened?

Well, I thought the time was perfect.
I mean, the music, the blimp.

You mean that one.

Why would she run out
after I proposed to her?

-You proposed?
-And she ran away?

Well, maybe she just needed time
to think before she said yes.

But you didn't need time to think.

Well, that's because you told me
the night before,

so I had time to prepare.

-Perhaps I should go after her.
-Oh, no, no, no, old man.

-Have patience. You'll get your answer.
-When?

Just as soon as Fran,
who I'm sure is no longer behind me,

reports back from Yenta Central.

Miss Babcock! Miss Babcock!

-Do you wanna be alone?
-Yes.

Okay, we're alone.

So, what happened?
Niles proposed to you.

You didn't know what to say,
so you just ran out?

I'm just guessing.

I feel like I'm gonna throw up.

Why does he have to ruin everything?

What the hell does
he wanna marry me for?

Because, he loves you.

And why don't you wanna
marry Niles?

Do you have any idea
how wonderful he is?

You know, it's not so easy
finding a guy like him.

The man irons rags.

That can't be good.

Relax, relax.
Just-- just press the...

-the emergency button.
-Yeah. Okay, okay.

-Nothing's happening.
-That can't be good.

Okay, don't panic. Don't panic.

Eventually they'll notice
that we're missing

and they'll come and find us.

Oh, my God,
what happens if I go into labor?

Well, that isn't gonna happen.

Yeah, it is.

What?

What are you doing with that?
It says no smoking.

Yeah, well, it says door open
and that ain't happening.

-Oh, my God!
-God.

Put that away.
It's not good for the babies.

What does it matter?
We're gonna die anyway.

What?

What would you have named the kids?

You know, I don't know
what Niles sees in you.

Yeah, well, neither do I.

Deep.

You know what your problem is,
Miss Babcock?

You're just afraid
and I don't know why.

Marriage is a beautiful,
wonderful institution.

Look how happy it's made me!

You are such a drama queen.

Why don't you come down here,

and let me explain to you
the source of these horrific screams?

Imagine, if you will,

squeezing out two 40-pound matzo balls,

through your nostril!

They're coming! They're coming!
Do you see a head?

You don't actually want me
to look down there, do you?

This is it. This is it!

Cross your legs.

Good, you took that out
so you could sterilize your hands?

Yeah.

Oh, God.

It's gone. The pain stopped.

Praise the Lord.

-Are you okay?
-I've been better.

Okay then, well,
let's get back to me.

How do I know that Niles is the one?

How do I know
that I'm not making a mistake?

You don't.

But unless you take a chance,
you're never gonna find out.

And, believe me,
that's harder to live with.

Do you think I have what it takes
to make a good wife?

No.

But he does.

Sir, perhaps I'm destined

to spend my life as an old maid.

Literally.

You're not supporting my hurt, sir.

Come on, Niles,
you'd make a wonderful catch.

Where is she gonna find
a man like you?

You know, you're right.

I live in a lovely home,
I drive an expensive car.

I'm a successful Broadway pro--
Sad again.

Well, you've certainly
kept me happy these 25 years.

Thank you, sir.

Would you like to buy your partner a rose?

He's not my...

Give me a red one.

Dad, there's a woman stuck
in an elevator and I think it's Fran.

What makes you think it's Fran?

Well, because it's stuck,
like, 30 floors below us

and you could still hear
a woman talking.

Yeah, that's my Fran.

Oh, my God, that's Fran!

Now, Nanny Fine, breathe slowly.

In... and out.

And in... and out.

Good girl.

Don't tell me what's it all about

Cause I've been there
And I'm glad--

Everybody!

Out of those chains
Those chains that bind you

That is why...

Just the pregnant girl.

I'm here to remind you

What do you get
When you fall in love?

You only get lies
And pain and sorrow

So for at least until tomorrow...

I'll never fall in love again

Don't you know that...

I'll never fall in love a--

This is it.
They're coming! They're coming!

Come on, Nanny Fine,
you can hold them in a little longer.

Please!

I don't know nothing
about birthing no babies!

Well, frankly, Miss Babcock,
I don't give a damn.

Help! Help me!

-Darling? Darling, are you in there?
-Honey! Honey!

Oh, my God, that's my wife's voice.

I'm so sorry.

She's pregnant, you idiot!
Just get her out of there!

-Niles!
-Miss Babcock?

Yes, it's Niles.

I have an answer to your question.

I've thought long and hard about it
and my answer is that I would--

-Crap.
-What I said was--

-Honey, are you all right?
-Of course, she's fine.

Miss Babcock, could you say it
one more time?

Niles, I would love to marry you.

Yes! Get out of the way!

Miss Babcock, I love you.

Call me C.C.

-Thank you. Thank you.
-Congratulations.

-This is so wonderful.
-Hey. Hello?

Down here. Babies popping out.

-Babies popping out.
-Oh, my God. God, you're in labor?

She's in labor.

-My sweet darling.
-Honey.

I can only imagine what kind
of pain you must be in.

I so very much don't think so.

Listen darling,
you just stay right there.

Okay.

I'm gonna call an ambulance.
Everything's gonna be just fine.

All right, everybody, now listen up.
Niles, go hail us a cab.

C.C., you and Margaret,
go to the hospital, check us in.

Brighton, you take Grace home,
pack an overnight bag for Fran.

Meet us at the hospital.
But, everyone, stay calm.

I don't want any added stress
put on Fran.

Stress has just been added.

Epidural. Epi-damn-dural!

Where does the time go?

It was just yesterday,
she was a spinster.

I love Vegas.

Come on, lemon, lemon, lemon.

I still can't believe it.

Miss Fine got the man of her dreams,
and now I got the man of mine.

Sorry. Old dog, new tricks.

-I think I'm gonna be sick.
-Well, I was just kidding.

You're not having second thoughts,
are you?

No. No.

Would I have said yes
to the man I love,

if I weren't sure?