The Nanny (1993–1999): Season 6, Episode 15 - Ma'ternal Affairs - full transcript
After Fran, under an assumed name, visits the kind and handsome Dr. Razzo who Sylvia has been seeing regularly, Sylvia admits that she's having an affair with him. On the cusp of their fortieth anniversary, Sylvia feels that Morty pays her no attention. She is feeling not only unloved, but worse in her mind she is feeling neglected. Fran decides to talk to Morty to try and get him to treat Sylvia more romantically. Although he tries, he feels that romantic just isn't him. Perhaps the only thing that can save Morty and Sylvia's marriage is for him to take the advice of a kind and handsome doctor. Meanwhile, C.C., the dictatorial director of Grace's grammar school stage production, needs to find a replacement to play an old haggard man. She believes she's found the perfect person for the role.
I cannot believe,
my mother is having an affair.
I'm having palpitations.
I'm having palpitations.
Darling, seeing a doctor
does not necessarily mean
they're being intimate.
Please, when I see a man,
you don't think I'm intimate with him?
Not if he sees you.
You know, sweetheart, I went through
the same thing with my parents.
It's totally beyond your control.
Why aren't you as shocked as me?
Well, I'm, you know, European.
Things are a little more accepted there.
It's looser.
It's freer.
It's so wrong.
Well, my mother is not European.
She's a middle-aged Jewish yenta
that should be going to see a doctor
for intestinal problems.
That I can believe.
I just heard about the affair.
Don't worry, Franny,
your father's a very good man.
Sylvia wouldn't throw that away
for some fling.
Exactly. Yetta's absolutely right.
I'm sure this thing with your mother
and her doctor won't last.
My daughter's dating a doctor?
She was working in a bridal shop
In Flushing, Queens
'Til her boyfriend kicked her out
In one of those crushing scenes
What was she to do, where was she to go?
She was out on her fanny
So, over the bridge from Flushing
To the Sheffields' door
She was there to sell makeup
But the father saw more
She had style, she had flair
She was there
That's how she became the Nanny
Who would have guessed
That the girl we described
Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed?
-Now the father finds her beguiling
-Watch out, C.C.
-And the kids are actually smiling
-Such joie de vivre!
She's the lady in red
When everybody else is wearing tan
The flashy girl from Flushing
The Nanny named Fran
Doctor.
I am so flattered,
but I have to tell you the truth.
I am wearing a little makeup.
No.
You've changed your hair, haven't you?
Did it get lighter from the sun?
Yeah, the sun.
Yeah...
I notice every little thing about you.
Including how much you love...
Oh, my God!
Samples.
Cotton swabs.
Handi Wipes.
Antibacterial ointment.
You are so extravagant.
You know, my daughter is giving me
the third-degree about you.
She can't wait to meet you.
Are your kids doing the same
about me?
Oh, no. My daughters respect my privacy.
They know that when I'm ready
I'll introduce you.
They would never intrude
in my private life.
So, Miss Blodgett...
What are your symptoms?
Well, I'm sick and I'm nauseous.
I think I had some bad Italian
at an affair.
-Well, let's try your reflexes first.
-Okay.
Sorry, you know, how weird
those nerve connections can be.
I'm gonna look in your ear.
Do I need to put on a cup?
-Is that your family over there?
-Yeah.
-You have a lovely wife.
-I did.
I lost her nine years ago.
I'm so sorry.
Wow, did I say nine years?
I can't believe it's been that long.
This picture we took
on our last anniversary.
We went to Hawaii.
Your hair was so dark and you were so tan.
That's Don Ho.
Your wife was very beautiful.
-She was, wasn't she?
-Yeah.
You know what you miss the most?
The little things.
Her perfume, her laugh.
The look on her face
whenever I would surprise her
with tickets for a Sunday matinee.
You mean, you didn't spend your Sundays,
sitting in front of the TV,
spitting out peanut shells,
watching the football game?
My wife hated sports.
So I gave them up.
If you didn't wanna direct my school play,
why did you say yes?
Because you asked me
before they were married and pregnant,
and I thought I still had a shot
with your daddy.
Maxwell, will you tell her
the director is God?
She's rehearsing us
until 2:00 in the morning.
It's because you stink.
C.C., what do you expect when you
choose Antony and Cleopatra
for a grammar school?
How hard is it to play a pushy broad,
who runs around half-naked
with too much makeup on?
Have you learned nothing from your mother?
You're all off script tomorrow
or you're out.
Talk.
-Help me.
-Sweetheart.
You open Saturday
and you're still not off-script?
All right. Well, this is just great.
The kid playing the messenger
is grounded for cheating.
All I did was slip him a few answers
so he could get to rehearsal on time.
C.C., can't you just cast some other kid
in the part?
He was perfect.
He looked like a weak, tired,
old man, beaten down by life.
Who am I gonna find
to play a part like that?
What?
Maxwell, wouldn't Niles be perfect
for that part in our sitcom in L.A.?
Me? What part?
If only there were a way
I could see him on stage first.
Me? What part?
C.C., I don't think this is
a very good idea.
You're always trying to hold me back.
You're just terrified
that people are gonna find out
that someone in this house
has more talent than you.
You know what? Break a leg.
Honey, we are in so much trouble.
This guy that Ma is seeing,
he's handsome, he's romantic,
he's a doctor.
He could park wherever he wants.
Daddy would have an affair with him.
Sweetheart, are you sure your mother
isn't just going through a phase?
I would like a word in private
with Miss Blodgett, please.
How dare you interfere with my affairs?
Affairs? How many you having, Ma?
Why are you doing this to me?
I have never interfered
in your personal life.
Please!
Let there be a witness.
No one will believe this.
Ma, how could you do this to Daddy?
Don't you realize
how much he loves you?
Darling,
the only time your father looks at me
with desire in his eyes
is when I'm holding a chicken.
You know what he gave me
for my birthday?
A standing rotisserie
that drips the fat off.
Is that stupid or what?
I thought you'd like it.
Fran, your father doesn't talk to me
anymore.
If at least he fought with me,
that's life.
But indifference, I can't live with that.
But, Ma,
if you and Daddy have problems,
why don't you go see a professional?
I am.
Fran, you're my daughter and I love you,
but you have no idea
what I'm going through.
Ma, I'm sorry but I cannot
and I will not accept this.
Then you and I no longer
have anything left to say to each other.
Yes, there is.
That fatless rotisserie was a great gift!
-Well, what happened?
-I just broke up with my mother.
You know, I'm very impressed
with how you're handling the fact
that your mother decided to show up.
Well, honey, I'm a big enough person
to set my differences aside.
Today's day is all about Gracie.
Tell me, messenger,
what news bring you from Caesar?
Tell her that she is not going out
for Chinese with us after.
Tell her that I would be happy
to get it to go.
Would you two be quiet?
My son is in this play, too.
Big deal. What is he playing, the camel?
And don't you yell at my daughter.
She's pregnant
with my new grandchildren.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Tell her that
when her morning sickness kicks in,
a little warm seltzer would help.
-My mother always said--
-Tell her!
Warm seltzer helps.
Tell her thank you.
I ask you, messenger,
what news bring you from Caesar?
That big kid stinks.
There's my adorable husband.
You know, honey, I am so glad
that you set up your office here
at the house.
-This way...
-Well, she made up with her mother,
so now she's gonna nudge the father.
If I don't get out of here soon,
she's gonna ask me to do something.
-I'll make up a meeting.
-...what a wonderful husband you are.
What do you say? Will you stick around
and help me out with Daddy?
Sweetheart, I'm so sorry.
I'm afraid I have a meeting.
You know, they called
and canceled that meeting.
Well, in that case, I'm free as a bird.
She canceled my fake meeting.
I'll get it. I'll get it.
-Hi, Daddy.
-Hello, sweetheart.
What's in the bag?
I'm no idiot.
There's a lot of thieves out there
that want these.
Daddy, they don't even want the car.
Come, sit down.
-Hey, you're looking pretty good, kiddo.
-Thank you.
So, what's up?
You invite Daddy to brunch,
you got something on your mind?
Something bothering you?
I can always tell.
Sit on Daddy's lap
and tell me all about it.
Come on. Tell me all about it.
Daddy. Dad, dad! I'm pregnant.
Daddy, daddy.
Well, you know, this weekend is yours
-and Mommy's 40th wedding anniversary.
-Yeah.
And I was just thinking,
maybe the four of us could go out
for some romantic dinner and dancing
at the Skylight Room.
What would I do there?
I wouldn't know what to do
in a place like that.
I don't fit in there.
Sure you do, Daddy.
You're eating the paper off the muffin.
Plus...
You would make Mommy very happy,
and you wouldn't even have
to buy her a gift
because you can give her like
a real fantasy night.
Hey, wait a minute.
We don't get into that kinky stuff.
One time, we ate cheesecake
off each other in bed,
but that's only 'cause nobody wanted
to get up for a napkin.
I'm talking about being debonair.
Romantic.
Send her flowers. Fawn over her.
Are you crazy? If I sent your mother
flowers for no reason
she'd think I'm fooling around.
Daddy, take the risk.
I think, Mommy's feeling
just a little bit underappreciated.
You're talking crazy talk.
You mother's a very happy woman.
She's not, Dad.
Bringing home a case
of Heinz vegetarian beans
does not a happy woman make.
Franny, come on, you don't know
what you're talking about.
Dad, she was over here. She talked to me.
She's not happy.
Did she mention the beans specifically?
Would you genug with the beans already?
You're going to lose her, Pop.
I mean, if you don't smarten up,
you'll spend the rest
of your life without her.
-Is that what you want?
-No, of course not.
I mean, we're a team. Morty and Sylvia.
We belong together.
All right,
then here's what you're gonna do.
You're gonna go out with us
to the restaurant,
we're gonna celebrate your anniversary,
and you are gonna romance your wife.
Okay, you got a deal.
-Just let me know when, that's all.
-It's Saturday night.
Saturday? The Islanders are playing!
Daddy!
All right, all right.
I'll tape, I'll tape, I'll tape.
-Hello.
-Hello.
I heard you laid a big egg last night.
This place is so romantic,
-isn't it, Daddy?
-Yeah. Yeah, sure, sure.
Sylvia, how about I order
a skirt steak for two?
Morty, this is a fancy restaurant.
They don't have skirt steak.
I'd like a Beef Ellington.
Oh, God,
they're talking about skirt steaks.
How embarrassing.
Just order Beef Ellington for the table.
Say, Morty,
I bet every man in the place
wishes he could change places
with us right now.
Why?
I'm sitting under a vent here.
It's blowing.
-Sylvia, you want to switch?
-Daddy.
What? What?
Your mother's got hot flashes.
She'd like a breeze.
Besides, I want the most beautiful woman
in this restaurant to be comfortable.
What?
-I'm trying to be nice.
-Well, cut it out. It's unsettling.
-Sylvia, I'm trying to treat you special.
-Why now, all of a sudden?
Because...
Because she said I should.
Franny, this is no good. This isn't me.
I'm not comfortable.
I gotta get out of here.
Did you say something to your father?
No!
He did.
Daddy, Daddy, come out here.
I need to talk to you.
Excuse me. Your fly's open, sir.
Daddy, I have to talk to you.
Oh, my God!
What are you doing here?
-I was just walking--
-You two know each other?
Yes, this is the doctor
that Mommy's been seeing...
Because she's got, you know, that...
She's got...
Carpel Tunnel Syndrome.
Carpel Tunnel Syndrome.
Daddy, who's been married
to my mother for 40 years,
-This is Dr. Rosso.
-How do you do?
-The same.
-Hey, look, Franny,
I'm sorry that your mother is upset
with me, I really am.
Look, I'm just not the kind of guy
she needs or wants anymore.
Your mother's at the point
of her life I think...
Your mother needs somebody like...
Somebody like a guy like this.
No, she doesn't. She does not.
-Dad, don't you love Mommy?
-Of course I love Sylvia.
I'm crazy about her.
So look, I forget things once in a while.
I forget things like birthdays.
I forget to talk to her
during a commercial.
But she's got to know
how much I care about her.
Daddy, and I meant him...
How's she going to know
if you don't tell her?
You are gonna lose her, you know.
-Some other guy could come along--
-You know, I think
you guys have exceeded
the amount of time two men should stay
-in a men's room.
-No, no, no. Let him finish. Go ahead.
Some other guy could come along
and tell Sylvia...
...all the things...
...she really wants to hear from you.
Come on, Daddy.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
I know you don't see this right now,
but trust me,
someday you'll thank me for this.
Sylvia...
Sylvia, I don't want to lose you.
I'm sorry, if...
If I didn't do or say the things that...
...made you feel like you were
appreciated. I'm sorry.
I don't know where the hell
our 40 years have gone.
I look at you and I see
a sweet little 16 year old girl
behind a candy-counter at Woolworths.
Wearing a pale blue dress.
And you're eating
that chocolate-covered cherry
with the juice dripping down your mouth.
It was marzipan.
You remember my blue dress?
I remember a lot of things, Sylvia.
I just don't know why
you don't know how I feel.
I'll tell you now, Sylvia, I...
Oh, God. I love you.
Morty...
I love you too. I just...
I just don't feel special anymore.
Our life, it's like...
There are no surprises anymore.
No surprises?
You want a surprise?
I'll give you a surprise.
The very thought of you
And I forget to do
The little ordinary things
That everyone ought to do
I see your face in every flower
Your eyes in stars above
It's just the thought of you
The very thought of you
My love
I don't think you have to worry
about your mother
leaving your father anymore.
What?
Why don't you ever sing to me?
You got a lousy review
in a grammar school news flyer.
Get over it.
Do you think my British accent
sounds fake?
my mother is having an affair.
I'm having palpitations.
I'm having palpitations.
Darling, seeing a doctor
does not necessarily mean
they're being intimate.
Please, when I see a man,
you don't think I'm intimate with him?
Not if he sees you.
You know, sweetheart, I went through
the same thing with my parents.
It's totally beyond your control.
Why aren't you as shocked as me?
Well, I'm, you know, European.
Things are a little more accepted there.
It's looser.
It's freer.
It's so wrong.
Well, my mother is not European.
She's a middle-aged Jewish yenta
that should be going to see a doctor
for intestinal problems.
That I can believe.
I just heard about the affair.
Don't worry, Franny,
your father's a very good man.
Sylvia wouldn't throw that away
for some fling.
Exactly. Yetta's absolutely right.
I'm sure this thing with your mother
and her doctor won't last.
My daughter's dating a doctor?
She was working in a bridal shop
In Flushing, Queens
'Til her boyfriend kicked her out
In one of those crushing scenes
What was she to do, where was she to go?
She was out on her fanny
So, over the bridge from Flushing
To the Sheffields' door
She was there to sell makeup
But the father saw more
She had style, she had flair
She was there
That's how she became the Nanny
Who would have guessed
That the girl we described
Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed?
-Now the father finds her beguiling
-Watch out, C.C.
-And the kids are actually smiling
-Such joie de vivre!
She's the lady in red
When everybody else is wearing tan
The flashy girl from Flushing
The Nanny named Fran
Doctor.
I am so flattered,
but I have to tell you the truth.
I am wearing a little makeup.
No.
You've changed your hair, haven't you?
Did it get lighter from the sun?
Yeah, the sun.
Yeah...
I notice every little thing about you.
Including how much you love...
Oh, my God!
Samples.
Cotton swabs.
Handi Wipes.
Antibacterial ointment.
You are so extravagant.
You know, my daughter is giving me
the third-degree about you.
She can't wait to meet you.
Are your kids doing the same
about me?
Oh, no. My daughters respect my privacy.
They know that when I'm ready
I'll introduce you.
They would never intrude
in my private life.
So, Miss Blodgett...
What are your symptoms?
Well, I'm sick and I'm nauseous.
I think I had some bad Italian
at an affair.
-Well, let's try your reflexes first.
-Okay.
Sorry, you know, how weird
those nerve connections can be.
I'm gonna look in your ear.
Do I need to put on a cup?
-Is that your family over there?
-Yeah.
-You have a lovely wife.
-I did.
I lost her nine years ago.
I'm so sorry.
Wow, did I say nine years?
I can't believe it's been that long.
This picture we took
on our last anniversary.
We went to Hawaii.
Your hair was so dark and you were so tan.
That's Don Ho.
Your wife was very beautiful.
-She was, wasn't she?
-Yeah.
You know what you miss the most?
The little things.
Her perfume, her laugh.
The look on her face
whenever I would surprise her
with tickets for a Sunday matinee.
You mean, you didn't spend your Sundays,
sitting in front of the TV,
spitting out peanut shells,
watching the football game?
My wife hated sports.
So I gave them up.
If you didn't wanna direct my school play,
why did you say yes?
Because you asked me
before they were married and pregnant,
and I thought I still had a shot
with your daddy.
Maxwell, will you tell her
the director is God?
She's rehearsing us
until 2:00 in the morning.
It's because you stink.
C.C., what do you expect when you
choose Antony and Cleopatra
for a grammar school?
How hard is it to play a pushy broad,
who runs around half-naked
with too much makeup on?
Have you learned nothing from your mother?
You're all off script tomorrow
or you're out.
Talk.
-Help me.
-Sweetheart.
You open Saturday
and you're still not off-script?
All right. Well, this is just great.
The kid playing the messenger
is grounded for cheating.
All I did was slip him a few answers
so he could get to rehearsal on time.
C.C., can't you just cast some other kid
in the part?
He was perfect.
He looked like a weak, tired,
old man, beaten down by life.
Who am I gonna find
to play a part like that?
What?
Maxwell, wouldn't Niles be perfect
for that part in our sitcom in L.A.?
Me? What part?
If only there were a way
I could see him on stage first.
Me? What part?
C.C., I don't think this is
a very good idea.
You're always trying to hold me back.
You're just terrified
that people are gonna find out
that someone in this house
has more talent than you.
You know what? Break a leg.
Honey, we are in so much trouble.
This guy that Ma is seeing,
he's handsome, he's romantic,
he's a doctor.
He could park wherever he wants.
Daddy would have an affair with him.
Sweetheart, are you sure your mother
isn't just going through a phase?
I would like a word in private
with Miss Blodgett, please.
How dare you interfere with my affairs?
Affairs? How many you having, Ma?
Why are you doing this to me?
I have never interfered
in your personal life.
Please!
Let there be a witness.
No one will believe this.
Ma, how could you do this to Daddy?
Don't you realize
how much he loves you?
Darling,
the only time your father looks at me
with desire in his eyes
is when I'm holding a chicken.
You know what he gave me
for my birthday?
A standing rotisserie
that drips the fat off.
Is that stupid or what?
I thought you'd like it.
Fran, your father doesn't talk to me
anymore.
If at least he fought with me,
that's life.
But indifference, I can't live with that.
But, Ma,
if you and Daddy have problems,
why don't you go see a professional?
I am.
Fran, you're my daughter and I love you,
but you have no idea
what I'm going through.
Ma, I'm sorry but I cannot
and I will not accept this.
Then you and I no longer
have anything left to say to each other.
Yes, there is.
That fatless rotisserie was a great gift!
-Well, what happened?
-I just broke up with my mother.
You know, I'm very impressed
with how you're handling the fact
that your mother decided to show up.
Well, honey, I'm a big enough person
to set my differences aside.
Today's day is all about Gracie.
Tell me, messenger,
what news bring you from Caesar?
Tell her that she is not going out
for Chinese with us after.
Tell her that I would be happy
to get it to go.
Would you two be quiet?
My son is in this play, too.
Big deal. What is he playing, the camel?
And don't you yell at my daughter.
She's pregnant
with my new grandchildren.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Tell her that
when her morning sickness kicks in,
a little warm seltzer would help.
-My mother always said--
-Tell her!
Warm seltzer helps.
Tell her thank you.
I ask you, messenger,
what news bring you from Caesar?
That big kid stinks.
There's my adorable husband.
You know, honey, I am so glad
that you set up your office here
at the house.
-This way...
-Well, she made up with her mother,
so now she's gonna nudge the father.
If I don't get out of here soon,
she's gonna ask me to do something.
-I'll make up a meeting.
-...what a wonderful husband you are.
What do you say? Will you stick around
and help me out with Daddy?
Sweetheart, I'm so sorry.
I'm afraid I have a meeting.
You know, they called
and canceled that meeting.
Well, in that case, I'm free as a bird.
She canceled my fake meeting.
I'll get it. I'll get it.
-Hi, Daddy.
-Hello, sweetheart.
What's in the bag?
I'm no idiot.
There's a lot of thieves out there
that want these.
Daddy, they don't even want the car.
Come, sit down.
-Hey, you're looking pretty good, kiddo.
-Thank you.
So, what's up?
You invite Daddy to brunch,
you got something on your mind?
Something bothering you?
I can always tell.
Sit on Daddy's lap
and tell me all about it.
Come on. Tell me all about it.
Daddy. Dad, dad! I'm pregnant.
Daddy, daddy.
Well, you know, this weekend is yours
-and Mommy's 40th wedding anniversary.
-Yeah.
And I was just thinking,
maybe the four of us could go out
for some romantic dinner and dancing
at the Skylight Room.
What would I do there?
I wouldn't know what to do
in a place like that.
I don't fit in there.
Sure you do, Daddy.
You're eating the paper off the muffin.
Plus...
You would make Mommy very happy,
and you wouldn't even have
to buy her a gift
because you can give her like
a real fantasy night.
Hey, wait a minute.
We don't get into that kinky stuff.
One time, we ate cheesecake
off each other in bed,
but that's only 'cause nobody wanted
to get up for a napkin.
I'm talking about being debonair.
Romantic.
Send her flowers. Fawn over her.
Are you crazy? If I sent your mother
flowers for no reason
she'd think I'm fooling around.
Daddy, take the risk.
I think, Mommy's feeling
just a little bit underappreciated.
You're talking crazy talk.
You mother's a very happy woman.
She's not, Dad.
Bringing home a case
of Heinz vegetarian beans
does not a happy woman make.
Franny, come on, you don't know
what you're talking about.
Dad, she was over here. She talked to me.
She's not happy.
Did she mention the beans specifically?
Would you genug with the beans already?
You're going to lose her, Pop.
I mean, if you don't smarten up,
you'll spend the rest
of your life without her.
-Is that what you want?
-No, of course not.
I mean, we're a team. Morty and Sylvia.
We belong together.
All right,
then here's what you're gonna do.
You're gonna go out with us
to the restaurant,
we're gonna celebrate your anniversary,
and you are gonna romance your wife.
Okay, you got a deal.
-Just let me know when, that's all.
-It's Saturday night.
Saturday? The Islanders are playing!
Daddy!
All right, all right.
I'll tape, I'll tape, I'll tape.
-Hello.
-Hello.
I heard you laid a big egg last night.
This place is so romantic,
-isn't it, Daddy?
-Yeah. Yeah, sure, sure.
Sylvia, how about I order
a skirt steak for two?
Morty, this is a fancy restaurant.
They don't have skirt steak.
I'd like a Beef Ellington.
Oh, God,
they're talking about skirt steaks.
How embarrassing.
Just order Beef Ellington for the table.
Say, Morty,
I bet every man in the place
wishes he could change places
with us right now.
Why?
I'm sitting under a vent here.
It's blowing.
-Sylvia, you want to switch?
-Daddy.
What? What?
Your mother's got hot flashes.
She'd like a breeze.
Besides, I want the most beautiful woman
in this restaurant to be comfortable.
What?
-I'm trying to be nice.
-Well, cut it out. It's unsettling.
-Sylvia, I'm trying to treat you special.
-Why now, all of a sudden?
Because...
Because she said I should.
Franny, this is no good. This isn't me.
I'm not comfortable.
I gotta get out of here.
Did you say something to your father?
No!
He did.
Daddy, Daddy, come out here.
I need to talk to you.
Excuse me. Your fly's open, sir.
Daddy, I have to talk to you.
Oh, my God!
What are you doing here?
-I was just walking--
-You two know each other?
Yes, this is the doctor
that Mommy's been seeing...
Because she's got, you know, that...
She's got...
Carpel Tunnel Syndrome.
Carpel Tunnel Syndrome.
Daddy, who's been married
to my mother for 40 years,
-This is Dr. Rosso.
-How do you do?
-The same.
-Hey, look, Franny,
I'm sorry that your mother is upset
with me, I really am.
Look, I'm just not the kind of guy
she needs or wants anymore.
Your mother's at the point
of her life I think...
Your mother needs somebody like...
Somebody like a guy like this.
No, she doesn't. She does not.
-Dad, don't you love Mommy?
-Of course I love Sylvia.
I'm crazy about her.
So look, I forget things once in a while.
I forget things like birthdays.
I forget to talk to her
during a commercial.
But she's got to know
how much I care about her.
Daddy, and I meant him...
How's she going to know
if you don't tell her?
You are gonna lose her, you know.
-Some other guy could come along--
-You know, I think
you guys have exceeded
the amount of time two men should stay
-in a men's room.
-No, no, no. Let him finish. Go ahead.
Some other guy could come along
and tell Sylvia...
...all the things...
...she really wants to hear from you.
Come on, Daddy.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
I know you don't see this right now,
but trust me,
someday you'll thank me for this.
Sylvia...
Sylvia, I don't want to lose you.
I'm sorry, if...
If I didn't do or say the things that...
...made you feel like you were
appreciated. I'm sorry.
I don't know where the hell
our 40 years have gone.
I look at you and I see
a sweet little 16 year old girl
behind a candy-counter at Woolworths.
Wearing a pale blue dress.
And you're eating
that chocolate-covered cherry
with the juice dripping down your mouth.
It was marzipan.
You remember my blue dress?
I remember a lot of things, Sylvia.
I just don't know why
you don't know how I feel.
I'll tell you now, Sylvia, I...
Oh, God. I love you.
Morty...
I love you too. I just...
I just don't feel special anymore.
Our life, it's like...
There are no surprises anymore.
No surprises?
You want a surprise?
I'll give you a surprise.
The very thought of you
And I forget to do
The little ordinary things
That everyone ought to do
I see your face in every flower
Your eyes in stars above
It's just the thought of you
The very thought of you
My love
I don't think you have to worry
about your mother
leaving your father anymore.
What?
Why don't you ever sing to me?
You got a lousy review
in a grammar school news flyer.
Get over it.
Do you think my British accent
sounds fake?