The Nanny (1993–1999): Season 6, Episode 11 - The In-Law Who Came Forever - full transcript
Fran's wealthy Aunt Freida did not attend Maxwell and Fran's wedding out of protest since she was not allowed to sing at the festivities. Knowing that it was Sylvia's decision to not allow Freida to sing, Freida in retaliation has bought Sylvia and Morty's apartment building and subsequently evicted her brother and sister-in-law. So the Fines decide to move into the Sheffield house. Initially Maxwell is livid, whereas Fran is somewhat looking forward to some nearby motherly love. However each takes a 180 degree turn when Sylvia continually criticizes Fran leading her to binge eat, whereas Sylvia ends up being the mother that Maxwell never really had. Fran thinks that she should be the mother that Maxwell never had. This turn of events is just a little too much for Maxwell to handle, who wants his life back to the way things were before the Fines moved in. Fran figures the only way to get Sylvia and Morty back into their old apartment is to manufacture Freida singing at their wedding, which she manages to do with a little help from the Sheffield kids and a video camera. Meanwhile, Niles tries everything in his power for Maxwell and C.C. to hire him for a photo shoot requiring a masculine male model.
All right now.
"What to expect
in your eighth month.
Indigestion, heartburn, bloating,
flatulence, nasal congestion."
Well, according to this,
my entire family is pregnant.
The worst part about your pregnancy
is going to be the mood swings.
I can get very testy.
I'll get it, sweetie. It's okay.
Look who this is.
Aunt Freida, what a surprise.
-Hi, Aunt Freida. What are you doing here?
-Hi.
I came by to drop off
your wedding present.
Since I was not invited to your nuptials.
Or ensuing festivities.
Freida, we sent you an invitation.
That said, "You are invited to attend
but forbidden to sing, Freida."
Well, Ma did want to personalize
the invitations.
I knew it was all her doing.
She's jealous. She's jealous
of my singing talent
and of my successful business investments.
What business investments, Freida?
You married a billionaire who dropped dead
two days later.
All right, so a little luck was involved.
The point is that Sylvia
has hurt me deeply.
But I'm not gonna take this out on you.
Frannie!
You! This SOB bought
our apartment building
and threw your father and me out.
However, your mother is going to pay!
You are horrible, Freida.
We are never gonna have you
up to our house again.
What house?
Your father and I
are practically homeless.
We have to sell everything.
Do you know anyone who wants
to buy a 40-year-old couch which, thanks
to plastic slip covers, is like brand-new.
Ma. You're not gonna be homeless.
Me and Max will take care of everything.
We figured that.
Morty!
Where do you want me to put this?
Upstairs, near the bay window.
She was working in a bridal shop
In Flushing, Queens
'Til her boyfriend kicked her out
In one of those crushing scenes
What was she to do, where was she to go?
She was out on her fanny
So, over the bridge from Flushing
To the Sheffields' door
She was there to sell makeup
But the father saw more
She had style, she had flair
She was there
That's how she became the Nanny
Who would have guessed
That the girl we described
Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed?
-Now the father finds her beguiling
-Watch out, C.C.
-And the kids are actually smiling
-Such joie de vivre!
She's the lady in red
When everybody else is wearing tan
The flashy girl from Flushing
The Nanny named Fran
Niles, how am I ever going to tell Maxwell
that my parents are staying here?
Quickly and without the negligee.
Maybe I shouldn't tell him. How long
do you think it'll be before he notices?
Not long. He'll see her here
for breakfast,
see her for lunch, see her for dinner.
So I'm figuring I got at least six months.
Darling, don't you look beautiful.
And that perfume.
I haven't smelled that perfume
since the last time you did
something wrong. What did you do?
Nothing.
Can't a wife just put something on sexy
to entice her husband...
...when her parents are moving in?
-What, darling?
-I said, can't a wife
just say over and over again
how much she loves her husband...
...when her parents are moving in?
What do you keep mumbling
into my neck?
Okay, all right, I'll tell you.
But while I'm telling you,
would you please,
just focus on the negligee?
Freida bought Mom and Dad's building
and threw them out of their apartment.
Darling, that's terrible.
I wish I had known. We have to help them.
-What are they gonna do?
-Don't worry. They already found
a new beautiful place to stay.
Well, that's good. Nearby?
Walking distance.
Do you use all your closets in here?
No.
Focus on the negligee.
Well, I have to call the agency.
None of these models they submitted
are right for our poster.
You know, sir, if you need an attractive,
photogenic man on camera,
-I can pass for--
-Hume Cronyn?
Niles, thank you for your offer,
but this poster really
has to sell our new show.
We need someone virile,
someone who exudes masculinity.
Well, then, there's your man.
-Hi, Daddy.
-Hi, sweetheart.
Have you found your virile,
masculine model yet?
Not yet, no. We shoot tomorrow.
Well, maybe Michael knows someone.
Honey?
How you doing? What's up?
-Margaret.
-Maxwell, let me handle this.
You're hired.
The job pays $5,000.
Sorry, Hume.
Well, I don't care.
All those models live hand-to-mouth.
At least I have skills to fall back on.
-Morning, Ma.
-Good morning, darling.
I'm so happy that you're going
to be here all the time.
I forgot what it's like living
with my mommy.
Darling, don't you think your rouge is
a little orange-y?
I'm remembering.
What's the matter?
Sweetheart, have you considered bangs?
Why?
They took ten years
off your sister's face.
Ma, it's was the eye lift that took
ten years off.
The bangs just covered up the scars.
So, have I told you how glad I am
that you're here?
Of course you are.
Otherwise, you would be up at the crack
of dawn making blintzes for your husband.
Little Miss Sleep Till 10:30.
So, have I told you how glad I am
that you're here?
Darling, rush and bring these
to your husband.
Tell him you made them.
I don't need the credit.
Ma, you're doing that thing again.
-What thing?
-You know, that thing that caused me
to weigh 140 pounds in fifth grade.
Darling, I don't mean to criticize,
but that man that you married is a prince.
You should wait on him hand and foot.
He's a big step up from anything
we thought you would wind up with.
Good, more blintzes.
-They're delicious.
-Thank you, darling.
Fran made them.
What's the matter? You look so tense.
No, I just got a slight headache,
that's all.
-Let Mamaleh take care of that.
-No, really, it's fine.
Really, it's... That does feel good.
You have beautiful hair.
Morty had gorgeous hair like this,
till he lost it
at the Pirates of the Caribbean.
Hey, Fran, about your mother?
What? I said I was glad she's here!
Yeah, I can see that.
Your father was right.
Your father was right.
This was a big mistake. I've already had
three muffins, a box of cereal,
and about 16 puddings and I've only been
with her 20 minutes today.
Hey Fran, what does it mean
when your mother says
she likes your sweater
but on somebody else?
It means I gotta get her
out of this house.
You know, it'll be fine. It's all
for the best because I'll be happy.
And you know what,
your father will be even happier,
because he wants her out
even more than I do.
Climb up on my knee
Sonny boy
So you're 43
Sonny boy
Honey.
Where's Max?
Your mother took him to Sears
to have his portrait taken.
Boy, are they getting clingy.
You know, I didn't realize
when I married Max
that I was marrying my whole family, too.
I know Mr. Sheffield thinks
that I'm too old for the poster
for his new show,
but perhaps if he saw me in print.
This is your high school photo.
I know, but I could look like that again
if the lights are in the perfect position.
Off?
I'm sorry, sweetie. I'm just lashing out.
It's Ma. She has got to go.
Well, why don't you just tell her
that you think it's time for her to leave?
How can I bust up Harold and Maude?
I don't understand what happened
all of a sudden.
Why is he so attached to her?
You met his mother.
You saw how she paid him no attention
at the wedding.
-She wasn't even there.
-Hello.
Don't you see?
He's never been pampered before.
Do you know when
he was a child and cried,
his mother left him
out in the garden until he stopped?
That's horrible!
Yes, and you wonder why he clings
to Sylvia.
The poor man is starved
for nurturing and affection.
And I can only go so far.
My poor Maxwell. And here I was too lazy
to get out of bed
and make him a lousy blintz this morning.
Well, that's all gonna change. From here
on in, I am going to give him everything
that he was deprived of as a child.
Love, warmth, comfort.
But first, I'm gonna make up
for him being bottle-fed.
Oh, God.
Did Niles die?
Hey, can't a wife order some lunch
from a deli and pretend she made it
for her husband without a big to-do?
I'm just trying to pamper your father.
Well, why didn't you
make the food yourself?
Well, because I'm too young to be a widow.
He is going to be so excited
when I show up at Michael's photo shoot
with this great special picnic basket.
Fran, these blintzes are delicious.
You have to give me the recipe.
Val, I already told you
that I'm pretending to make it.
Well, let me tell you something, girl.
They taste real.
Niles, hurry up! I'm ready
to go to Michael's photo shoot.
Sweetie, cut the price tag
off of this afghan
that I knitted your father.
Niles, Michael was the one that got
the modeling job.
Yes, I know, but when Carol Haney got sick
in The Pajama Game
Shirley MacLaine went on in her place
and became a star.
Yeah, you know, it's trivia like that
that really works
against this whole machismo thing
that you're going after.
-All right. Thank you. Wish me luck.
-Good luck.
Come on then, people. Let's see smiling.
Think fun, think passion.
Think paychecks.
You know, Michael is working
out very well, Margaret.
I'm glad we hired him.
Yeah, but don't you think, he would look
better without those girls?
-Which ones?
-All of them.
Darling, don't get jealous.
It's just work.
Fire them, Daddy.
When's lunch?
Darling, you just had an Altoid.
You can't eat again until Tuesday.
Kaitlin, how many times do I have
to tell you I'm a married man?
I'll tell Kaitlin, and then I'll kill her.
-Fran, darling, what are you doing here?
-Sweetie, I just wanted to pop in,
and see if you're okay
and tell you how much I love you
and make sure you're warm and comfortable.
That's very sweet of you,
but I'm really very busy.
Haven't had a chance to stop.
Do I smell your mother's
kugel mit raisins?
Now, Ma's not the only one that can cook.
I made this myself.
Now, come sit down and let me pamper you.
Fran, why are you doing this?
Because... You were left out
in the garden.
Darling, I know that makes sense in here,
but I'm out here.
Sweetie, I love you so much.
-I just wanna fuss over you like Ma does.
-Yeah, but if I wanted someone
to cook and clean and fuss over me,
I'd have married Niles.
And you didn't think
this look worked for me.
Come on, darling.
I have a lot of work to do here,
so why don't I just finish up
and you go home, light some candles,
and get the Jacuzzi ready for us?
Sweetie, I'd love to but Mom and Dad
booked the Jacuzzi for tonight.
What do you mean "booked"?
They made up a schedule.
Find that pretty irritating, don't you?
No, I enjoy having your mother around.
She's a lot of fun. She--
She makes--
She makes-- Well, all right, maybe
your parents do have a few quirks.
And sometimes I do find it
a little annoying that I can't use
my own Jacuzzi, my own golf clubs,
my own limo.
But...
You see, you want people living
in your house,
then you're not gonna always get
the stuff that you want when you want it.
Remember when you wanted me
and Ma came walking in
in with The Godfather 1, 2 and 3?
Let's say I agree with you,
there's nothing we can do about it.
Freida kicked your mother out
and that's that.
Yeah.
Unless we could figure out a way
to get Freida to sing at our wedding.
What?
Honey, you know that camcorder
that we keep in our bedroom?
-Yeah.
-Well, I just figured out
a whole new way to use it.
Love you.
Did you okay this concept?
Hurry up, Ma! The Good Humor man is here.
I want toasted almond.
That's not Ricky, that's Freida.
My mistake.
-Syl.
-Free.
Well, this is off to a good start.
We're on half-name basis.
Ma, we were very insensitive
to Aunt Freida's feelings
when we told her that she couldn't sing
at the wedding.
I was very hurt.
And I'm not talking to you.
You know, I have that
exact skirt in blue.
They make it in blue?
Well, teal,
but mine has Western stitching.
I don't look too good
in that hee-haw look.
No, you could carry it.
This is how you say "I'm sorry" in Jewish.
I'm still not talking to her.
But if you see one in teal,
pick me up one.
All right.
Since Freida wasn't at the wedding,
I thought it would be nice
if we all watched
the wedding video together.
Honey, why don't you turn it on
and we'll see it.
She looks so beautiful.
What the hell is this?
That's your ticket home, Ma.
Listen, I don't wanna say anything,
but could this chicken be drier?
I'll take the dry chicken
over the fishy salmon.
I don't know about you, girls,
but my sea bass is delicious.
Hey, why doesn't Aunt Freida sing?
She's better than Lisa Minnelli.
-"Liza." Liza Minnelli.
-Liza Minnelli.
I'll have you know,
Freida's the best singer in the world
and anyone who disagrees
can settle it with me.
I have a little request
from my darling Sylvala,
who's always been like
an older sister to me.
Hit it.
I remember you
You're the one who made
My dreams come true
A few kisses ago
I remember to distant bell
And stars that fell like rain
Out of the blue
When my life is through
And the angels ask me to recall
The thrill of them all
That I shall tell them
I remember you
Thank you.
-My God, Freida, that was beautiful.
-Thank you.
Unfortunately, you can't stop
after one number.
There's a Gershwin medley,
a salute to Kander and Ebb--
Ma, would you just say
"I'm sorry" to Freida?
Does the teal skirt come
with a matching jacket?
I think so, but I can't promise
that it has Western stitching.
Well, darling, you know, I have to admit,
I'm gonna miss your mother
when she leaves.
Climb upstairs with me
Sonny boy
The Jacuzzi is finally free
Sonny boy
Love, warmth, comfort.
But first, I'm gonna make up
for him being breast-fed.
Love, warmth, support.
But first, I'm gonna make up
for him being breast--
Love, warmth, comfort.
But first, I'm gonna make up
for him being bottle-fed.
"What to expect
in your eighth month.
Indigestion, heartburn, bloating,
flatulence, nasal congestion."
Well, according to this,
my entire family is pregnant.
The worst part about your pregnancy
is going to be the mood swings.
I can get very testy.
I'll get it, sweetie. It's okay.
Look who this is.
Aunt Freida, what a surprise.
-Hi, Aunt Freida. What are you doing here?
-Hi.
I came by to drop off
your wedding present.
Since I was not invited to your nuptials.
Or ensuing festivities.
Freida, we sent you an invitation.
That said, "You are invited to attend
but forbidden to sing, Freida."
Well, Ma did want to personalize
the invitations.
I knew it was all her doing.
She's jealous. She's jealous
of my singing talent
and of my successful business investments.
What business investments, Freida?
You married a billionaire who dropped dead
two days later.
All right, so a little luck was involved.
The point is that Sylvia
has hurt me deeply.
But I'm not gonna take this out on you.
Frannie!
You! This SOB bought
our apartment building
and threw your father and me out.
However, your mother is going to pay!
You are horrible, Freida.
We are never gonna have you
up to our house again.
What house?
Your father and I
are practically homeless.
We have to sell everything.
Do you know anyone who wants
to buy a 40-year-old couch which, thanks
to plastic slip covers, is like brand-new.
Ma. You're not gonna be homeless.
Me and Max will take care of everything.
We figured that.
Morty!
Where do you want me to put this?
Upstairs, near the bay window.
She was working in a bridal shop
In Flushing, Queens
'Til her boyfriend kicked her out
In one of those crushing scenes
What was she to do, where was she to go?
She was out on her fanny
So, over the bridge from Flushing
To the Sheffields' door
She was there to sell makeup
But the father saw more
She had style, she had flair
She was there
That's how she became the Nanny
Who would have guessed
That the girl we described
Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed?
-Now the father finds her beguiling
-Watch out, C.C.
-And the kids are actually smiling
-Such joie de vivre!
She's the lady in red
When everybody else is wearing tan
The flashy girl from Flushing
The Nanny named Fran
Niles, how am I ever going to tell Maxwell
that my parents are staying here?
Quickly and without the negligee.
Maybe I shouldn't tell him. How long
do you think it'll be before he notices?
Not long. He'll see her here
for breakfast,
see her for lunch, see her for dinner.
So I'm figuring I got at least six months.
Darling, don't you look beautiful.
And that perfume.
I haven't smelled that perfume
since the last time you did
something wrong. What did you do?
Nothing.
Can't a wife just put something on sexy
to entice her husband...
...when her parents are moving in?
-What, darling?
-I said, can't a wife
just say over and over again
how much she loves her husband...
...when her parents are moving in?
What do you keep mumbling
into my neck?
Okay, all right, I'll tell you.
But while I'm telling you,
would you please,
just focus on the negligee?
Freida bought Mom and Dad's building
and threw them out of their apartment.
Darling, that's terrible.
I wish I had known. We have to help them.
-What are they gonna do?
-Don't worry. They already found
a new beautiful place to stay.
Well, that's good. Nearby?
Walking distance.
Do you use all your closets in here?
No.
Focus on the negligee.
Well, I have to call the agency.
None of these models they submitted
are right for our poster.
You know, sir, if you need an attractive,
photogenic man on camera,
-I can pass for--
-Hume Cronyn?
Niles, thank you for your offer,
but this poster really
has to sell our new show.
We need someone virile,
someone who exudes masculinity.
Well, then, there's your man.
-Hi, Daddy.
-Hi, sweetheart.
Have you found your virile,
masculine model yet?
Not yet, no. We shoot tomorrow.
Well, maybe Michael knows someone.
Honey?
How you doing? What's up?
-Margaret.
-Maxwell, let me handle this.
You're hired.
The job pays $5,000.
Sorry, Hume.
Well, I don't care.
All those models live hand-to-mouth.
At least I have skills to fall back on.
-Morning, Ma.
-Good morning, darling.
I'm so happy that you're going
to be here all the time.
I forgot what it's like living
with my mommy.
Darling, don't you think your rouge is
a little orange-y?
I'm remembering.
What's the matter?
Sweetheart, have you considered bangs?
Why?
They took ten years
off your sister's face.
Ma, it's was the eye lift that took
ten years off.
The bangs just covered up the scars.
So, have I told you how glad I am
that you're here?
Of course you are.
Otherwise, you would be up at the crack
of dawn making blintzes for your husband.
Little Miss Sleep Till 10:30.
So, have I told you how glad I am
that you're here?
Darling, rush and bring these
to your husband.
Tell him you made them.
I don't need the credit.
Ma, you're doing that thing again.
-What thing?
-You know, that thing that caused me
to weigh 140 pounds in fifth grade.
Darling, I don't mean to criticize,
but that man that you married is a prince.
You should wait on him hand and foot.
He's a big step up from anything
we thought you would wind up with.
Good, more blintzes.
-They're delicious.
-Thank you, darling.
Fran made them.
What's the matter? You look so tense.
No, I just got a slight headache,
that's all.
-Let Mamaleh take care of that.
-No, really, it's fine.
Really, it's... That does feel good.
You have beautiful hair.
Morty had gorgeous hair like this,
till he lost it
at the Pirates of the Caribbean.
Hey, Fran, about your mother?
What? I said I was glad she's here!
Yeah, I can see that.
Your father was right.
Your father was right.
This was a big mistake. I've already had
three muffins, a box of cereal,
and about 16 puddings and I've only been
with her 20 minutes today.
Hey Fran, what does it mean
when your mother says
she likes your sweater
but on somebody else?
It means I gotta get her
out of this house.
You know, it'll be fine. It's all
for the best because I'll be happy.
And you know what,
your father will be even happier,
because he wants her out
even more than I do.
Climb up on my knee
Sonny boy
So you're 43
Sonny boy
Honey.
Where's Max?
Your mother took him to Sears
to have his portrait taken.
Boy, are they getting clingy.
You know, I didn't realize
when I married Max
that I was marrying my whole family, too.
I know Mr. Sheffield thinks
that I'm too old for the poster
for his new show,
but perhaps if he saw me in print.
This is your high school photo.
I know, but I could look like that again
if the lights are in the perfect position.
Off?
I'm sorry, sweetie. I'm just lashing out.
It's Ma. She has got to go.
Well, why don't you just tell her
that you think it's time for her to leave?
How can I bust up Harold and Maude?
I don't understand what happened
all of a sudden.
Why is he so attached to her?
You met his mother.
You saw how she paid him no attention
at the wedding.
-She wasn't even there.
-Hello.
Don't you see?
He's never been pampered before.
Do you know when
he was a child and cried,
his mother left him
out in the garden until he stopped?
That's horrible!
Yes, and you wonder why he clings
to Sylvia.
The poor man is starved
for nurturing and affection.
And I can only go so far.
My poor Maxwell. And here I was too lazy
to get out of bed
and make him a lousy blintz this morning.
Well, that's all gonna change. From here
on in, I am going to give him everything
that he was deprived of as a child.
Love, warmth, comfort.
But first, I'm gonna make up
for him being bottle-fed.
Oh, God.
Did Niles die?
Hey, can't a wife order some lunch
from a deli and pretend she made it
for her husband without a big to-do?
I'm just trying to pamper your father.
Well, why didn't you
make the food yourself?
Well, because I'm too young to be a widow.
He is going to be so excited
when I show up at Michael's photo shoot
with this great special picnic basket.
Fran, these blintzes are delicious.
You have to give me the recipe.
Val, I already told you
that I'm pretending to make it.
Well, let me tell you something, girl.
They taste real.
Niles, hurry up! I'm ready
to go to Michael's photo shoot.
Sweetie, cut the price tag
off of this afghan
that I knitted your father.
Niles, Michael was the one that got
the modeling job.
Yes, I know, but when Carol Haney got sick
in The Pajama Game
Shirley MacLaine went on in her place
and became a star.
Yeah, you know, it's trivia like that
that really works
against this whole machismo thing
that you're going after.
-All right. Thank you. Wish me luck.
-Good luck.
Come on then, people. Let's see smiling.
Think fun, think passion.
Think paychecks.
You know, Michael is working
out very well, Margaret.
I'm glad we hired him.
Yeah, but don't you think, he would look
better without those girls?
-Which ones?
-All of them.
Darling, don't get jealous.
It's just work.
Fire them, Daddy.
When's lunch?
Darling, you just had an Altoid.
You can't eat again until Tuesday.
Kaitlin, how many times do I have
to tell you I'm a married man?
I'll tell Kaitlin, and then I'll kill her.
-Fran, darling, what are you doing here?
-Sweetie, I just wanted to pop in,
and see if you're okay
and tell you how much I love you
and make sure you're warm and comfortable.
That's very sweet of you,
but I'm really very busy.
Haven't had a chance to stop.
Do I smell your mother's
kugel mit raisins?
Now, Ma's not the only one that can cook.
I made this myself.
Now, come sit down and let me pamper you.
Fran, why are you doing this?
Because... You were left out
in the garden.
Darling, I know that makes sense in here,
but I'm out here.
Sweetie, I love you so much.
-I just wanna fuss over you like Ma does.
-Yeah, but if I wanted someone
to cook and clean and fuss over me,
I'd have married Niles.
And you didn't think
this look worked for me.
Come on, darling.
I have a lot of work to do here,
so why don't I just finish up
and you go home, light some candles,
and get the Jacuzzi ready for us?
Sweetie, I'd love to but Mom and Dad
booked the Jacuzzi for tonight.
What do you mean "booked"?
They made up a schedule.
Find that pretty irritating, don't you?
No, I enjoy having your mother around.
She's a lot of fun. She--
She makes--
She makes-- Well, all right, maybe
your parents do have a few quirks.
And sometimes I do find it
a little annoying that I can't use
my own Jacuzzi, my own golf clubs,
my own limo.
But...
You see, you want people living
in your house,
then you're not gonna always get
the stuff that you want when you want it.
Remember when you wanted me
and Ma came walking in
in with The Godfather 1, 2 and 3?
Let's say I agree with you,
there's nothing we can do about it.
Freida kicked your mother out
and that's that.
Yeah.
Unless we could figure out a way
to get Freida to sing at our wedding.
What?
Honey, you know that camcorder
that we keep in our bedroom?
-Yeah.
-Well, I just figured out
a whole new way to use it.
Love you.
Did you okay this concept?
Hurry up, Ma! The Good Humor man is here.
I want toasted almond.
That's not Ricky, that's Freida.
My mistake.
-Syl.
-Free.
Well, this is off to a good start.
We're on half-name basis.
Ma, we were very insensitive
to Aunt Freida's feelings
when we told her that she couldn't sing
at the wedding.
I was very hurt.
And I'm not talking to you.
You know, I have that
exact skirt in blue.
They make it in blue?
Well, teal,
but mine has Western stitching.
I don't look too good
in that hee-haw look.
No, you could carry it.
This is how you say "I'm sorry" in Jewish.
I'm still not talking to her.
But if you see one in teal,
pick me up one.
All right.
Since Freida wasn't at the wedding,
I thought it would be nice
if we all watched
the wedding video together.
Honey, why don't you turn it on
and we'll see it.
She looks so beautiful.
What the hell is this?
That's your ticket home, Ma.
Listen, I don't wanna say anything,
but could this chicken be drier?
I'll take the dry chicken
over the fishy salmon.
I don't know about you, girls,
but my sea bass is delicious.
Hey, why doesn't Aunt Freida sing?
She's better than Lisa Minnelli.
-"Liza." Liza Minnelli.
-Liza Minnelli.
I'll have you know,
Freida's the best singer in the world
and anyone who disagrees
can settle it with me.
I have a little request
from my darling Sylvala,
who's always been like
an older sister to me.
Hit it.
I remember you
You're the one who made
My dreams come true
A few kisses ago
I remember to distant bell
And stars that fell like rain
Out of the blue
When my life is through
And the angels ask me to recall
The thrill of them all
That I shall tell them
I remember you
Thank you.
-My God, Freida, that was beautiful.
-Thank you.
Unfortunately, you can't stop
after one number.
There's a Gershwin medley,
a salute to Kander and Ebb--
Ma, would you just say
"I'm sorry" to Freida?
Does the teal skirt come
with a matching jacket?
I think so, but I can't promise
that it has Western stitching.
Well, darling, you know, I have to admit,
I'm gonna miss your mother
when she leaves.
Climb upstairs with me
Sonny boy
The Jacuzzi is finally free
Sonny boy
Love, warmth, comfort.
But first, I'm gonna make up
for him being breast-fed.
Love, warmth, support.
But first, I'm gonna make up
for him being breast--
Love, warmth, comfort.
But first, I'm gonna make up
for him being bottle-fed.