The Nanny (1993–1999): Season 5, Episode 4 - Fransom - full transcript
There have been a slew of dog-nappings of late, the latest victim being C.C.'s dog, Chester. Chester was nabbed under Fran's care. Fran learns from the police that the suspected perpetrators are a husband/wife team. Little does Fran realize that the male thief is Brian, the guy who hit on her just before the dog-napping. His female counterpart is indeed his not too bright wife, Arianna. During the ransom call, Fran picks up on a piece of information that leads her and Val to Brian and Arianna's apartment, but the two sleuths end up being hostages themselves. Maxwell decides to take charge to get back his nanny. As Maxwell follows the ransom demands, Fran manages to save herself and Val with a little help from a secret weapon provided by Yetta. Meanwhile, the Fines are preparing for Yetta's wedding shower.
Well, I found my gift
for Yetta's bridal shower.
I got her the Kama Sutra,
big print edition.
Niles, she's an elderly woman.
Meanwhile, with her new bionic hips,
on this page 89, is like a walk
in the park.
What did you get your grandmother?
I can't afford to get anything.
I don't know where all my money goes.
Watch it.
You're gonna spill
on my new Gucci bag.
Miss Fine. That is a lovely outfit
you're wearing.
You like? I just bought it.
You're in a good mood this morning.
Well, why should I be depressed,
just because a woman three times my age
is getting married before me?
Mazel tov. You're getting married.
Why on earth is Yetta getting married
at her age?
I was wondering that myself.
I guess it's because somebody asked her.
Yes, well,
she waited a long time before rushing
into a second marriage
and, that's a very wise thing.
Nanny Fine,
have you seen this month's issue
of Park Place magazine?
Who cares? It's always
some horsey-looking debutante,
clutching her blue-blood fiancé.
Miss Babcock, it's you and Chester.
They did a spread on wealthy heiresses
and their dogs.
Look at this.
I didn't know that you walked Chester
in Central Park.
Not me. Lupe.
That is, till she up and died on me.
Besides, who's gonna bust me? The mutt?
You know, Miss Babcock,
with all your dough,
you really should find a place to hide
that money before the government gets it.
How about right here?
Well, Nanny Fine, if you're strapped
for cash...
I have a job that would utilize
your unique talents.
You know how to use
a pooper-scooper, don't you?
Are you suggesting
that I be your dog-walker?
I'll pay you $10 an hour.
Please! Do you know what I get paid
to watch three children?
Half that. When do I start?
She was working in a bridal shop
In Flushing, Queens
Till her boyfriend kicked her out
In one of those crushing scenes
What was she to do?
Where was she to go?
She was out on her fanny
So over the bridge from Flushing
To the Sheffield's door
She was there to sell makeup,
But the father saw more
She had style! She had flair!
She was there!
That's how she became the nanny!
Who would have guessed
That the girl we've described
Was just exactly what
The doctor prescribed?
Now the father finds her beguiling
Watch out, C.C.!
And the kids are actually smiling
Such joie de vivre!
She's the lady in red
When everybody else is wearing tan
The pleasure girl from Flushing
The nanny named Fran!
Ma, why did you book Harry's Clam Bar
when Daddy's Elk Lodge
would've been so much better
for Yetta's shower?
Honey, Daddy is not an Elk anymore.
Sylvia, you told my mother,
he was no longer a stallion.
How many clubs does he belong to?
What's Yetta's fiancé like, anyway?
I never even met him.
What's to meet?
He's one of the alter cockers at the home.
What's an alter cocker?
Well, literally,
it means, old cocker spaniel.
It's a very affectionate term.
Okay.
Here's my shower plan.
Look who's planning her own shower.
Yesterday, you wore your underpants
as a beret.
I don't have to take that from you.
I'm not even sure you're mine.
Fine, Miss Fine, what seems to be
the problem here?
What problem? It's just three generations
of Fine women planning a shower.
Yes, that's right. I hear you've already
booked Harry's Clam Bar.
What a pity. Could have had it here.
Okay.
-Nanny Fine?
-Yeah?
Chester just ate his kibble
and now he needs to go number two.
Already?
Boy, I should have some of that kibble
for breakfast.
-Here, Frannie.
-What?
I won a whole case
of chocolate ex-lax playing bingo.
That's a prize?
I guess when you're a senior,
taking ex-lax is like taking Ecstasy.
Fran, this park is a great place
to scope out guys.
Well, you know, honey, your father
and I are sort of an item.
He's just waiting until the time is right.
-Uh-huh.
-And that pony Daddy promised me?
-Yeah?
-Glue.
All right. And we're off.
-How's my lipstick? Good?
-Mm-hmm.
-Hair big enough?
-Blocking the sun.
Perfect. Look sharp. There's a live one.
Excuse me, miss. I just had to come over
and tell you,
you have the most beautiful mother
I've ever seen.
Well, she's not my mother.
She's my sister.
No, I'm her nanny.
-I'm Brian.
-Hi, Brian. I'm Fran.
-Hi.
-And this is Gracie.
-Hi.
-And this is Chester.
You look like you could breed
some champions.
Well, all us Fine women
are pretty fertile.
You meant the dog.
Yeah, my dog's around here somewhere.
-A Dalmatian. Her name's Dot.
-Yeah.
Dot. That's cute.
She's over there. She loves running
around the park
-with all the other dogs.
-Doesn't that look fun, Chester?
Here, why don't you go network.
I'll get your collar.
There you go.
Good boy. Go.
Play. Good boy.
Chester, stop it.
Stop that. Don't do that.
How embarrassing.
If I could do what he's doing,
I'd never leave the house.
That Chester's a lucky boy.
He gets to go home
with the world's cutest nanny.
Well, your day may come.
Where's Chester?
-Chester.
-Chester.
-Chester.
-Chester.
Where is he? I don't see him.
You know, you look over there.
I'll check over by the fountain.
-Chester!
-Chester!
-Chester!
-Chester!
Fran, he's gone.
-Chester!
-Chester!
-Chester!
-Chester!
-Oh, my God!
-Oh, my God!
Oh, Gracie.
You lost Chester.
There, there, Miss Fine. It's all right.
We'll find him.
It's not like you lost one
of the children.
Gracie!
I'm here, Fran.
Gracie.
I just called the police precinct.
They're sending over Jeff.
-Oh, good.
-Jeff?
Ex-boyfriend, has his own handcuffs,
looks like a younger version of you.
Well, I really don't see any reason
to involve the police right now.
I mean, Miss Babcock should just call
the pound.
Miss Babcock,
how am I gonna tell her?
She's gonna be devastated.
She slept with Chester every night.
Well, on the up side, she won't be
so cramped in that little basket.
Miss Babcock,
I have something to tell you
that is gonna be very hard
for you to take.
You asked her to marry you, you scum?
-Ten years of my life I have--
-No, no. C.C.
C.C., C.C., Miss Fine...
lost Chester in Central Park.
You scared the hell out of me.
Miss Fine, Ace Ventura's here.
-Hello, Maxwell.
-Yeah.
Bob's gonna tap into your phone line here
so we can run a trace.
You're running a phone trace?
Well, we've been having a series
of Central Park dog-nappings.
Yeah, we think, they staked out Chester
since he was on the cover of the magazine.
They?
Yes, well, we believe the perps
are a husband-and-wife team.
My perp's not single?
Jeff, I can't believe Chester
was kidnapped.
I'm so happy you're here.
Well, have you been working out?
You're like a rock.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Let's, let's not forget the urgency
of a missing dog here, please.
Fran, answer. That could be him.
Oh, my.
I don't want you to be nervous.
I'm gonna guide you.
-through this, okay?
-Okay.
She knows how to talk
into a bloody telephone.
Now see, if you recognize the voice, okay?
All right.
Hello?
I do. It's Ma.
Hi, Ma.
Oh, hold on one minute.
I'm getting a call waiting.
Hello?
Yeah, now you listen, and you listen good.
If you ever wanna see
Chester alive again--
Okay, I'll hold. She has to hang up
with her mother.
Arianna, shut that damn window.
I'm trying to demand a ransom here.
You just wanna flirt with the nanny.
You flirt with all dog owners,
-even men.
-One time.
It got you a big screen TV. Let it go.
Hello? Uh-huh?
Now I lost my place.
Yeah. Yeah, you tell C.C. Babcock,
I want $20,000.
And if she tries to involve the police
or the media,
I'm sending her dog back to her,
one paw at a time, huh?
Please, I can't take that horrible sound!
Well, I'm sorry, sir.
But this happens to be my natural voice.
Val, he said, he wants $20,000
-or Chester gets it.
-Would you give me that?
Me and that mutt are supposed to shoot
the cover of Redbook on Tuesday.
Hello, mister.
I'm gonna tell you the same thing
I told my poverty-stricken uncle
who needed an operation,
nobody squeezes a dime out
of C.C. Babcock.
I am addressing the man who stole my dog.
Here is your $20,000.
Only I'm offering this as a reward,
to whomever turns you in.
You have 24 hours
to bring me back my little....
-Pomeranian.
-Pomeranian.
Otherwise, anywhere you go,
you're gonna have to ask yourself,
"Is this the day they get me?"
-Val, let's go get our coats.
-Why?
Because, we're gonna get
that kidnapper ourselves.
How? We don't even know where he is.
When I talked to him on the phone,
I heard an ice cream truck
in the background
that was playing "The Way We Were."
So?
So, where in New York,
does an ice cream truck play
a Barbra Streisand ballad?
-Greenwich Village.
-Greenwich Village.
We are going to rescue Chester
and collect that 20 grand.
So if I help you,
we'll split it fifty-fifty?
-Sixty-forty.
-Why 60-40?
Well, I'm the one that lost him, Val.
Val, that's a recess bell.
I heard that bell over the phone.
Pull over by that school.
Fran, I am so impressed
with how you used your charms
to borrow this ice cream truck.
Yeah, I know. But, I'll tell you,
I'm not looking forward to dating a guy
who's made his career out
of being known as Mister Softee.
That Babcock chick turned
the tables on us, all right?
She's offered a reward
to whoever turns me in.
-How much is she offering?
-Twenty thou--
What do you care?
Don't get so hysterical.
On the news, they said they were looking
for someone who looks like Art Garfunkel.
Can't believe, the whole city's after me.
I can't walk outside.
You know, I could get killed.
Baby, please, will you get me
an ice cream?
Are you listening to me?
They could gun me down!
Baby, I'm so hot.
I could use a Nutty Buddy.
-Hello, may I help you?
-Yeah, let me have a Dreamsicle
and a Nutty Buddy.
And make it quick.
Okay.
Now, they're a dollar each.
So, that would be....
Thank you.
Val. Val. Val.
That's the guy that stole Chester.
That's him.
Oh, my God.
Art Garfunkel has to steal a dog?
How do we know
which apartment he went into?
I, I can't think with that dog barking.
Yeah, blame it on the dog, Val.
-Get down on all fours. Come on.
-Fran, I know you miss walking Chester,
-but I'm not getting down on all fours--
-Val, I wanna look in the window.
Oh, I see. I see Chester.
-What do you want?
-Well...
if my friend sells one more
magazine subscription,
she gets to go to that special camp.
Oh, I miss my little Chester.
You know, I used to let him sleep with me.
Let him? Who do you think taught him
to beg?
-That's our guy.
-Okay. Pick it up. Come on.
Okay.
This is C.C. Babcock.
Well, you were so willing
to risk your dog's life,
what would you say if I told you
that I had Fran Fine?
Well, it would go something like this.
C.C., for God's sakes.
Listen, this is Maxwell Sheffield.
Now, don't hurt her.
I'll give you anything you want.
Wait a minute.
I never thought I'd say this, but...
I want to hear Miss Fine's voice.
-Your boss is on the phone.
-Mister Softee?
-Miss Fine, can you hear me?
-Oh, Mr. Sheffield.
-Help--
-All right, that's enough.
Now, you listen carefully, Sheffield.
You have 30 minutes.
Here are your instructions.
Put 40 grand in a paper bag
and go to the bowling alley
on University and 12th.
At the bowling alley,
rent shoes and a bowling bag.
Put the money in the bag
and put on the shoes.
Go to Lane 7 where the Jenny Craig League
is bowling.
There will be a note
under the first chair.
That note has a map to a YMCA.
Go to the swimming pool.
At the bottom of the pool there's a key
to a locker with a cell phone in it.
At exactly 5 o'clock,
I'll be calling to tell you
where we'll make the exchange.
Damn, we lost him.
He wouldn't have actually jumped
into the pool wearing
a tracking device, would he?
-Yeah, he would.
-Yeah, he would.
Well, he's on his own now.
-Hello?
-You did very well.
Yes, well, considering I forgot
to write anything down.
Now, give me back my nanny!
I'm giving the orders here.
Now, walk one block west
to the Chinese restaurant.
Hand the money to the woman
in the black hat.
And then you can have your friends.
Mrs. Levine, you're gonna be rolling
in cash.
Levine?
I'll tell you, Val when Jews go bad...
What are you doing?
-I was reaching for some chocolates.
-Chocolate.
I love chocolate.
I've got some delicious chocolates
that my grandma gave me
that she won playing bingo.
You want some?
Where I come from,
chocolate is an aphrodisiac.
You come from Flushing.
-You got, you got any more?
-Sure. Here.
Help yourself.
You know what? I would like some.
-No, Val.
-All of a sudden, they're your friends?
Who are you, Patty Hearst?
Okay.
Okay, Arianna's walking toward your boss.
She's running toward your boss.
She's running past your boss
without taking the money and...
pulling a construction worker out
of a Porta-Potty?
I better go see what she's--
I'm gonna go take care of--
What happened?
Why did he run away?
Well, you know, Val,
when you gotta go, you gotta go.
-Mr. Sheffield! Help!
-Help! Help us!
-Oh, my God, are you all right?
-Yeah. You're my hero.
Mr. Sheffield, you know, in Israel
there's an ancient custom
that says when a man saves
a woman's life,
she must stand by his side forever,
in a professionally decorated,
mock-Tudor house
on a large corner lot in Great Neck.
Yes, but we don't live in Israel.
I know.
Want a piece of chocolate?
Yetta,
before I go to the market,
what would you like for your shower?
Some of those rubber daisies
for the bottom of the tub.
And one of those
detachable water massages.
They're fun.
Actually, I meant for your wedding shower.
And, yes, they are.
for Yetta's bridal shower.
I got her the Kama Sutra,
big print edition.
Niles, she's an elderly woman.
Meanwhile, with her new bionic hips,
on this page 89, is like a walk
in the park.
What did you get your grandmother?
I can't afford to get anything.
I don't know where all my money goes.
Watch it.
You're gonna spill
on my new Gucci bag.
Miss Fine. That is a lovely outfit
you're wearing.
You like? I just bought it.
You're in a good mood this morning.
Well, why should I be depressed,
just because a woman three times my age
is getting married before me?
Mazel tov. You're getting married.
Why on earth is Yetta getting married
at her age?
I was wondering that myself.
I guess it's because somebody asked her.
Yes, well,
she waited a long time before rushing
into a second marriage
and, that's a very wise thing.
Nanny Fine,
have you seen this month's issue
of Park Place magazine?
Who cares? It's always
some horsey-looking debutante,
clutching her blue-blood fiancé.
Miss Babcock, it's you and Chester.
They did a spread on wealthy heiresses
and their dogs.
Look at this.
I didn't know that you walked Chester
in Central Park.
Not me. Lupe.
That is, till she up and died on me.
Besides, who's gonna bust me? The mutt?
You know, Miss Babcock,
with all your dough,
you really should find a place to hide
that money before the government gets it.
How about right here?
Well, Nanny Fine, if you're strapped
for cash...
I have a job that would utilize
your unique talents.
You know how to use
a pooper-scooper, don't you?
Are you suggesting
that I be your dog-walker?
I'll pay you $10 an hour.
Please! Do you know what I get paid
to watch three children?
Half that. When do I start?
She was working in a bridal shop
In Flushing, Queens
Till her boyfriend kicked her out
In one of those crushing scenes
What was she to do?
Where was she to go?
She was out on her fanny
So over the bridge from Flushing
To the Sheffield's door
She was there to sell makeup,
But the father saw more
She had style! She had flair!
She was there!
That's how she became the nanny!
Who would have guessed
That the girl we've described
Was just exactly what
The doctor prescribed?
Now the father finds her beguiling
Watch out, C.C.!
And the kids are actually smiling
Such joie de vivre!
She's the lady in red
When everybody else is wearing tan
The pleasure girl from Flushing
The nanny named Fran!
Ma, why did you book Harry's Clam Bar
when Daddy's Elk Lodge
would've been so much better
for Yetta's shower?
Honey, Daddy is not an Elk anymore.
Sylvia, you told my mother,
he was no longer a stallion.
How many clubs does he belong to?
What's Yetta's fiancé like, anyway?
I never even met him.
What's to meet?
He's one of the alter cockers at the home.
What's an alter cocker?
Well, literally,
it means, old cocker spaniel.
It's a very affectionate term.
Okay.
Here's my shower plan.
Look who's planning her own shower.
Yesterday, you wore your underpants
as a beret.
I don't have to take that from you.
I'm not even sure you're mine.
Fine, Miss Fine, what seems to be
the problem here?
What problem? It's just three generations
of Fine women planning a shower.
Yes, that's right. I hear you've already
booked Harry's Clam Bar.
What a pity. Could have had it here.
Okay.
-Nanny Fine?
-Yeah?
Chester just ate his kibble
and now he needs to go number two.
Already?
Boy, I should have some of that kibble
for breakfast.
-Here, Frannie.
-What?
I won a whole case
of chocolate ex-lax playing bingo.
That's a prize?
I guess when you're a senior,
taking ex-lax is like taking Ecstasy.
Fran, this park is a great place
to scope out guys.
Well, you know, honey, your father
and I are sort of an item.
He's just waiting until the time is right.
-Uh-huh.
-And that pony Daddy promised me?
-Yeah?
-Glue.
All right. And we're off.
-How's my lipstick? Good?
-Mm-hmm.
-Hair big enough?
-Blocking the sun.
Perfect. Look sharp. There's a live one.
Excuse me, miss. I just had to come over
and tell you,
you have the most beautiful mother
I've ever seen.
Well, she's not my mother.
She's my sister.
No, I'm her nanny.
-I'm Brian.
-Hi, Brian. I'm Fran.
-Hi.
-And this is Gracie.
-Hi.
-And this is Chester.
You look like you could breed
some champions.
Well, all us Fine women
are pretty fertile.
You meant the dog.
Yeah, my dog's around here somewhere.
-A Dalmatian. Her name's Dot.
-Yeah.
Dot. That's cute.
She's over there. She loves running
around the park
-with all the other dogs.
-Doesn't that look fun, Chester?
Here, why don't you go network.
I'll get your collar.
There you go.
Good boy. Go.
Play. Good boy.
Chester, stop it.
Stop that. Don't do that.
How embarrassing.
If I could do what he's doing,
I'd never leave the house.
That Chester's a lucky boy.
He gets to go home
with the world's cutest nanny.
Well, your day may come.
Where's Chester?
-Chester.
-Chester.
-Chester.
-Chester.
Where is he? I don't see him.
You know, you look over there.
I'll check over by the fountain.
-Chester!
-Chester!
-Chester!
-Chester!
Fran, he's gone.
-Chester!
-Chester!
-Chester!
-Chester!
-Oh, my God!
-Oh, my God!
Oh, Gracie.
You lost Chester.
There, there, Miss Fine. It's all right.
We'll find him.
It's not like you lost one
of the children.
Gracie!
I'm here, Fran.
Gracie.
I just called the police precinct.
They're sending over Jeff.
-Oh, good.
-Jeff?
Ex-boyfriend, has his own handcuffs,
looks like a younger version of you.
Well, I really don't see any reason
to involve the police right now.
I mean, Miss Babcock should just call
the pound.
Miss Babcock,
how am I gonna tell her?
She's gonna be devastated.
She slept with Chester every night.
Well, on the up side, she won't be
so cramped in that little basket.
Miss Babcock,
I have something to tell you
that is gonna be very hard
for you to take.
You asked her to marry you, you scum?
-Ten years of my life I have--
-No, no. C.C.
C.C., C.C., Miss Fine...
lost Chester in Central Park.
You scared the hell out of me.
Miss Fine, Ace Ventura's here.
-Hello, Maxwell.
-Yeah.
Bob's gonna tap into your phone line here
so we can run a trace.
You're running a phone trace?
Well, we've been having a series
of Central Park dog-nappings.
Yeah, we think, they staked out Chester
since he was on the cover of the magazine.
They?
Yes, well, we believe the perps
are a husband-and-wife team.
My perp's not single?
Jeff, I can't believe Chester
was kidnapped.
I'm so happy you're here.
Well, have you been working out?
You're like a rock.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Let's, let's not forget the urgency
of a missing dog here, please.
Fran, answer. That could be him.
Oh, my.
I don't want you to be nervous.
I'm gonna guide you.
-through this, okay?
-Okay.
She knows how to talk
into a bloody telephone.
Now see, if you recognize the voice, okay?
All right.
Hello?
I do. It's Ma.
Hi, Ma.
Oh, hold on one minute.
I'm getting a call waiting.
Hello?
Yeah, now you listen, and you listen good.
If you ever wanna see
Chester alive again--
Okay, I'll hold. She has to hang up
with her mother.
Arianna, shut that damn window.
I'm trying to demand a ransom here.
You just wanna flirt with the nanny.
You flirt with all dog owners,
-even men.
-One time.
It got you a big screen TV. Let it go.
Hello? Uh-huh?
Now I lost my place.
Yeah. Yeah, you tell C.C. Babcock,
I want $20,000.
And if she tries to involve the police
or the media,
I'm sending her dog back to her,
one paw at a time, huh?
Please, I can't take that horrible sound!
Well, I'm sorry, sir.
But this happens to be my natural voice.
Val, he said, he wants $20,000
-or Chester gets it.
-Would you give me that?
Me and that mutt are supposed to shoot
the cover of Redbook on Tuesday.
Hello, mister.
I'm gonna tell you the same thing
I told my poverty-stricken uncle
who needed an operation,
nobody squeezes a dime out
of C.C. Babcock.
I am addressing the man who stole my dog.
Here is your $20,000.
Only I'm offering this as a reward,
to whomever turns you in.
You have 24 hours
to bring me back my little....
-Pomeranian.
-Pomeranian.
Otherwise, anywhere you go,
you're gonna have to ask yourself,
"Is this the day they get me?"
-Val, let's go get our coats.
-Why?
Because, we're gonna get
that kidnapper ourselves.
How? We don't even know where he is.
When I talked to him on the phone,
I heard an ice cream truck
in the background
that was playing "The Way We Were."
So?
So, where in New York,
does an ice cream truck play
a Barbra Streisand ballad?
-Greenwich Village.
-Greenwich Village.
We are going to rescue Chester
and collect that 20 grand.
So if I help you,
we'll split it fifty-fifty?
-Sixty-forty.
-Why 60-40?
Well, I'm the one that lost him, Val.
Val, that's a recess bell.
I heard that bell over the phone.
Pull over by that school.
Fran, I am so impressed
with how you used your charms
to borrow this ice cream truck.
Yeah, I know. But, I'll tell you,
I'm not looking forward to dating a guy
who's made his career out
of being known as Mister Softee.
That Babcock chick turned
the tables on us, all right?
She's offered a reward
to whoever turns me in.
-How much is she offering?
-Twenty thou--
What do you care?
Don't get so hysterical.
On the news, they said they were looking
for someone who looks like Art Garfunkel.
Can't believe, the whole city's after me.
I can't walk outside.
You know, I could get killed.
Baby, please, will you get me
an ice cream?
Are you listening to me?
They could gun me down!
Baby, I'm so hot.
I could use a Nutty Buddy.
-Hello, may I help you?
-Yeah, let me have a Dreamsicle
and a Nutty Buddy.
And make it quick.
Okay.
Now, they're a dollar each.
So, that would be....
Thank you.
Val. Val. Val.
That's the guy that stole Chester.
That's him.
Oh, my God.
Art Garfunkel has to steal a dog?
How do we know
which apartment he went into?
I, I can't think with that dog barking.
Yeah, blame it on the dog, Val.
-Get down on all fours. Come on.
-Fran, I know you miss walking Chester,
-but I'm not getting down on all fours--
-Val, I wanna look in the window.
Oh, I see. I see Chester.
-What do you want?
-Well...
if my friend sells one more
magazine subscription,
she gets to go to that special camp.
Oh, I miss my little Chester.
You know, I used to let him sleep with me.
Let him? Who do you think taught him
to beg?
-That's our guy.
-Okay. Pick it up. Come on.
Okay.
This is C.C. Babcock.
Well, you were so willing
to risk your dog's life,
what would you say if I told you
that I had Fran Fine?
Well, it would go something like this.
C.C., for God's sakes.
Listen, this is Maxwell Sheffield.
Now, don't hurt her.
I'll give you anything you want.
Wait a minute.
I never thought I'd say this, but...
I want to hear Miss Fine's voice.
-Your boss is on the phone.
-Mister Softee?
-Miss Fine, can you hear me?
-Oh, Mr. Sheffield.
-Help--
-All right, that's enough.
Now, you listen carefully, Sheffield.
You have 30 minutes.
Here are your instructions.
Put 40 grand in a paper bag
and go to the bowling alley
on University and 12th.
At the bowling alley,
rent shoes and a bowling bag.
Put the money in the bag
and put on the shoes.
Go to Lane 7 where the Jenny Craig League
is bowling.
There will be a note
under the first chair.
That note has a map to a YMCA.
Go to the swimming pool.
At the bottom of the pool there's a key
to a locker with a cell phone in it.
At exactly 5 o'clock,
I'll be calling to tell you
where we'll make the exchange.
Damn, we lost him.
He wouldn't have actually jumped
into the pool wearing
a tracking device, would he?
-Yeah, he would.
-Yeah, he would.
Well, he's on his own now.
-Hello?
-You did very well.
Yes, well, considering I forgot
to write anything down.
Now, give me back my nanny!
I'm giving the orders here.
Now, walk one block west
to the Chinese restaurant.
Hand the money to the woman
in the black hat.
And then you can have your friends.
Mrs. Levine, you're gonna be rolling
in cash.
Levine?
I'll tell you, Val when Jews go bad...
What are you doing?
-I was reaching for some chocolates.
-Chocolate.
I love chocolate.
I've got some delicious chocolates
that my grandma gave me
that she won playing bingo.
You want some?
Where I come from,
chocolate is an aphrodisiac.
You come from Flushing.
-You got, you got any more?
-Sure. Here.
Help yourself.
You know what? I would like some.
-No, Val.
-All of a sudden, they're your friends?
Who are you, Patty Hearst?
Okay.
Okay, Arianna's walking toward your boss.
She's running toward your boss.
She's running past your boss
without taking the money and...
pulling a construction worker out
of a Porta-Potty?
I better go see what she's--
I'm gonna go take care of--
What happened?
Why did he run away?
Well, you know, Val,
when you gotta go, you gotta go.
-Mr. Sheffield! Help!
-Help! Help us!
-Oh, my God, are you all right?
-Yeah. You're my hero.
Mr. Sheffield, you know, in Israel
there's an ancient custom
that says when a man saves
a woman's life,
she must stand by his side forever,
in a professionally decorated,
mock-Tudor house
on a large corner lot in Great Neck.
Yes, but we don't live in Israel.
I know.
Want a piece of chocolate?
Yetta,
before I go to the market,
what would you like for your shower?
Some of those rubber daisies
for the bottom of the tub.
And one of those
detachable water massages.
They're fun.
Actually, I meant for your wedding shower.
And, yes, they are.