The Nanny (1993–1999): Season 5, Episode 10 - From Flushing with Love - full transcript
Fran and Niles are at each other throats as Niles realistically believes that Fran always gets her way with Maxwell. This specific incidents stems from the fact that both Fran and Niles want a particular weekend off. Niles is not taking this latest defeat lightly, and forms an alliance with his arch enemy, C.C. Fran is taking this battle with much hurt. But Niles ultimately comes up with a solution: she should invite Maxwell and the kids to Niagara Falls for her family reunion, as Niagara Falls is a romantic place where spontaneous marriage proposals occur. Niles and Fran are back on good terms, and with a little help from the kids, Fran does convince Maxwell and the kids to go with her. Indeed, on the Maid of the Mist, Maxwell is overcome by the beauty and majesty of his surroundings. He proposes to Fran, but... Niles ends up using the incident to his advantage.
I'm just so bummed.
Why, honey?
I've been sitting next to the same guy
for the last four years,
and I know he likes me,
but he won't make a move.
You've been waiting for some guy
for four years?
That's nothing.
It's not pathetic?
No.
She is so in denial.
Miss Fine, I've got to ask Mr. Sheffield
for some time off,
so I'm giving him this tie.
-Do you think he'll like it?
-Well, he ought to, it's his.
For heaven's sake,
he won't remember his tie.
But I wonder if I should change
out of his suit.
Niles, why don't you just walk yourself
in there,
and tell him you need some time off?
Be honest, speak from the heart.
Tell him that you need some private time.
You work like a dog, day--
Oh, you know what? Don't use that.
I'm gonna say that when I go in there
and ask for this weekend off.
-This weekend?
-Yeah.
But that's when I want off.
My butler's glee club
is having a big competition in Bermuda.
Well, I'm sorry,
but it's the big Fine family reunion
in Niagara Falls.
And we have relatives
coming in from all over.
Tel Aviv, Budapest,
Boca Gables, Phase Four.
I didn't know you had any family left
to fly in.
I thought they all lived in my kitchen.
Look, why don't we
just let Mr. Sheffield decide?
-That's fair.
-Why are we arguing?
I can relinquish three days
of the Wilsons' butler
pulling down his sock garters
to show me his tan lines.
Really? Well, that's very sweet of you.
Now relinquish means
you're not going, right?
-Yes, yes, yes.
-Okay. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I've got work to do, so you tape
Bold and the Beautiful.
Of course.
You have much to learn, young Jedi.
Sir, please let me have this weekend off.
My last vacation was two years ago,
but it doesn't really count.
Miss Babcock showed up,
and then there was
this tropical depression. Mine!
But, Mr. Sheffield, you know I've gotta go
to my family's reunion.
Well, to be honest, Niles, I--
Don't. Stop.
I did just give you a month off, already.
I was recovering from a heart attack.
Look, how you budget your vacation time
is your business.
-I'll bring you back Cuban cigars.
-I'll send my mother to Cuba.
-I'll make you baked Alaska.
-I'll send my mother to Alaska.
Well, in all fairness, Miss Fine,
Niles did ask me first.
-He's wearing your suit.
-Well, she's wearing Miss Gracie's skirt.
And that's how I just won.
She was working in a bridal shop
In Flushing, Queens
'Til her boyfriend kicked her out
In one of those crushing scenes
What was she to do, where was she to go?
She was out on her fanny
So, over the bridge from Flushing
To the Sheffields' door
She was there to sell makeup
But the father saw more
She had style, she had flair
She was there
That's how she became the Nanny
Who would have guessed
That the girl we described
Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed?
-Now the father finds her beguiling
-Watch out, C.C.
-And the kids are actually smiling
-Such joie de vivre!
She's the lady in red
When everybody else is wearing tan
The flashy girl from Flushing
The Nanny named Fran
You know, the only reason he picked you
is because I don't look good in heels.
Why?
I thought you looked great last Halloween,
when you went as Tootsie.
-Really?
-Yeah.
I didn't think it all came to--
You're just trying to suck up
-because you know I'm mad at you.
-Niles,
I got what I wanted, not because
of anything I said,
-or the way I looked.
-Oh, please.
"Oh, Mr. Sheffield...
You mind if I dust your desk
with my tokus?"
Well, if it isn't Priscilla,
queen of the dessert.
You didn't mind me wearing the tube top
to get you that Fantom Fury vacuum
with the HEPA filter, did ya?
I can only imagine how long it took you
to find something skimpy.
There's a three-second scavenger hunt.
What a treat! It's not often one gets
to see a domestic squabble
between actual domestics.
Hey, I insulted you.
Now you're supposed to insult me back.
There's a rhythm to these things, man.
Do you realize
that she gets everything she wants
because she has Mr. Sheffield
wrapped around her little finger?
Well, look who just popped his head out
of Maxwell's derrière
to announce it's spring.
What have I been saying
for the past four years?
You know, maybe we've been
on opposite sides too long.
Well, I wouldn't mind getting back
at Miss Fine.
And we are just the team to do it.
All right. From now on it's you
and me, Babcock.
You know, Niles, this is the best cup
of coffee you've ever made.
Well, in honor of our new alliance,
I must confess
this is the first time I've ever put it
in a clean cup.
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
I seen ya 'round around
For a long, long time
I really remember too
When you drank my wine
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
I seen ya walkin' down in Chinatown
I called but you could not look around
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
I pay my money to the welfare line
I seen ya standing in it every time
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
First of all, Dr. Miller,
I just want to tell you
that I think that I'm about ready
to graduate from therapy.
Yep, I really feel like I have grown
and matured.
I've really come to like myself
as a person.
-What's the problem?
-Everyone else hates me.
Well, tell me about it.
Well, it's Niles.
Niles, yeah. Nosy, yenta butler?
Yeah, that's him.
He's got this crazy idea
that I use my sensuality to get my way.
Do you feel you do that, Fran?
No. Dr. Miller...
you know me.
I mean, I don't do things like that.
Just look at your body language.
Dr. Miller,
do you think I'm trying to seduce you?
Do you want me to put this
in the dishwasher?
No, sweetie, I'll do it.
Listen, are you coming with me
to Paint Your Pottery tonight?
Of course.
The ceramic tissue box
I made for your powder room
is coming out of the kiln.
Okay, Scully and Mulder,
care to explain this X-File?
Well, I've gotta get back
to the salt mines.
Later, C.
Niles, we gotta talk.
I just spent my entire session
at Dr. Miller's,
talking about you playing yo-yo
with my feelings
and pretending like I don't exist.
And that time
could have been better spent
talking about Mr. Sheffield doing that.
-I don't know what you're talking about.
-Come on.
You're being mean to me,
you're friends with Ms. Babcock.
It's a world gone mad.
Next thing you know, you'll be saying
Barbra is marrying the guy
from the AAMCO commercials.
Wait a minute. That is happening.
This is ridiculous.
Why don't you just invite Mr. Sheffield
and the children
to go to Niagara Falls
with you and your family?
Oh, please.
What horrible thing did
the man ever do to deserve that?
You're slipping, Sadie.
Don't you want to get engaged?
Keep talking.
Niagara Falls is the honeymoon capital
of the world.
Thirty million people go there every year
and wind up getting married on the spot.
It's magical, it's mystical.
Mr. Sheffield won't be able to resist you.
-Really?
-Absolutely.
Getting proposed to is like buying
real estate.
"Location, location, location."
Niles, you're a genius.
Now we can both go away this weekend.
-I'm so happy we're friends again.
-Me too.
I don't know what I was doing
in that unholy alliance with Babcock.
I know, it was kind
of like Yogi dumping Boo Boo
for the ranger.
Kids, I have such exciting news.
We're all going to Niagara Falls.
Your father and I are getting married!
-Dad finally popped the question?
-No. Not yet.
But Niagara Falls is
the engagement capital of the world.
And Dad's already agreed to go with you?
No. Not yet.
-This is so sad. This is ridiculous.
-Yeah, this really is.
Just go pack and act surprised, would you?
Don't worry, Fran. If it actually happens,
we will be genuinely stunned.
-I got your message.
-Hi, Ma.
This is so exciting.
The last time I was at Niagara Falls
was when Daddy proposed to me.
I didn't know Daddy asked you
to marry him in Niagara Falls.
-That's so romantic.
-Yeah, he had no intention
of proposing at all.
He went to get me a bromo
for my morning sickness.
The place cast a spell.
Have I never taught you
about the magic of the Falls?
No.
You were too busy teaching me
to suck the innards
out of the chocolate-covered cherries
before they weighed the bag.
Meanwhile, has that not saved you hundreds
of dollars over the years?
Oh, Ma...
If the mystique of the Falls is true,
this could be it.
I could be getting married
right on the boat.
Cousin Cookie will play the spoons
on her boobs, so there's the band.
And the whole family
has already booked the hotel,
so we don't have to put them up.
All you have to do is hang your bagel
over the railing,
and the lox just jumps right onto it.
Darling, this is the kind of wedding
that mothers dream of.
Free!
Hi.
Well, if it isn't "I Love Loosely."
Okay, it's your turn.
-Toss out something really vile.
-I would, but I can't lift you.
That was about me.
What's the matter, bud?
I thought you and me were a team.
It was what it was, and now it's over.
But, we had plans.
Now I won't hear that little voice
in my computer.
"You've got mail."
Anyhoo...
I was reading the paper.
El Nino's coming to New York this weekend,
and you and the kids have got
to get out of all that water.
I'll tell you what.
You all could come
to the Fine family reunion
in Niagara Falls.
Or I could eat a bowl of leeches,
and slowly bleed to death
from the inside out.
Well, if you're on the fence about it,
let me ask the kids.
-Hey, what's up, Fran?
-Hey.
You wanna hear some exciting news
for the first time?
-Yeah.
-How would you like to go, this weekend,
to Niagara Falls?
-That would be so cool.
-We could not be happier.
I've waited for this glorious moment
for five years.
Overdoing it, honey.
All right. All right.
I know when I'm outnumbered.
Seems we're going to Niagara Falls
for the Fine family reunion.
We're gonna have so much fun.
Just don't get freaked out.
It could get pretty treacherous
being thrown about,
bounced off a handrail,
spritzed in the face.
I'm quite comfortable on boats, Miss Fine.
No, I was talking about the buffet line.
Here, darling, put this on.
No, Ma, I'm not covering myself
with that plastic.
You want Mr. Sheffield to think
he's proposing to your couch?
Morty,
I'm putting your hair in my purse.
We're not gonna lose another $600,
like we did at Raging Waters.
You know...
I proposed to my wife
on this boat 30 years ago.
And for 30 years, she's been saying,
"Hey, Ray, when are we going back
to Niagara Falls?"
I said, "When you stop hocking me."
So, here we are.
You big pain in the--
Excuse me.
I hear that you're in the show business.
Well, I have an idea,
and people think it should be a play.
It takes place in Connecticut.
And?
What, you're not bringing anything
to the party?
All right, Marilyn, leave him alone.
Is she pitching you
her Connecticut story again?
Pretty good, huh?
Look, look Miss Fine,
we're getting closer to the Falls.
-Let's go find the children.
-Okay.
There's Gracie over here. I'll get Gracie.
Hey, sweetheart, come and look at the--
That's just Aunt Cookie.
Yeah, she's the one that plays
the spoons on her...
Yes. Right. Yeah, the maestro.
I enjoyed your rendition of "Wipeout."
That was "Little Brown Jug."
Played it too fast.
Where the devil is this boat going,
Miss Fine?
The Island of Dr. Moreau?
Come on, Mr. Sheffield,
let's go to the bow of the boat.
That's the best place to propose.
I mean...
I propose that we go there.
Oh, my God!
Is this not magnificent?
Over 30 million served.
Come here, Miss Fine.
You're missing all this.
What?
Is this not the most,
the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?
I can't hear you.
It's magical.
It's just magical.
Miss Fine,
will you marry me?
What did you say?
I said--
So, you're on the boat,
you're approaching the falls,
did Mr. Sheffield propose?
Well, let's just put it this way.
They're renaming the boat after me.
Old Maid of the Mist.
Well, Fran, you know what they say.
What, Val?
No, really. You know what they say, Fran.
You're far more the sophisticate than I.
Well, there's no mystique,
and there's no magic.
Just a bunch of propaganda
to get you to buy idiotic souvenirs.
Wait a minute, I got you something.
Look at this.
Niagara Falls corn cob holders.
-Oh, God...
-Yeah.
-...look at the detail work.
-Yep.
Yeah, well.
-You put it away for special.
-Yeah.
-Oh, hi.
-What happened to you?
It was really quite dramatic, actually.
The falls were so powerful.
Freak wave came along
and knocked me right off my feet.
Does not remember anything
about the entire trip.
All I could say is, "Thank God."
Well, I guess I better put out the trash,
and then start preparing dinner.
A butler's work is never done, eh?
Niles, don't you think
that you should tell him?
Well, if you like.
But he also thinks the butler's fooling
around with the nanny.
You cleaned enough. It's time to rest.
Miss Fine, I'm most dreadfully sorry. I--
Thank God I remembered who I was
before anything happened.
Why, honey?
I've been sitting next to the same guy
for the last four years,
and I know he likes me,
but he won't make a move.
You've been waiting for some guy
for four years?
That's nothing.
It's not pathetic?
No.
She is so in denial.
Miss Fine, I've got to ask Mr. Sheffield
for some time off,
so I'm giving him this tie.
-Do you think he'll like it?
-Well, he ought to, it's his.
For heaven's sake,
he won't remember his tie.
But I wonder if I should change
out of his suit.
Niles, why don't you just walk yourself
in there,
and tell him you need some time off?
Be honest, speak from the heart.
Tell him that you need some private time.
You work like a dog, day--
Oh, you know what? Don't use that.
I'm gonna say that when I go in there
and ask for this weekend off.
-This weekend?
-Yeah.
But that's when I want off.
My butler's glee club
is having a big competition in Bermuda.
Well, I'm sorry,
but it's the big Fine family reunion
in Niagara Falls.
And we have relatives
coming in from all over.
Tel Aviv, Budapest,
Boca Gables, Phase Four.
I didn't know you had any family left
to fly in.
I thought they all lived in my kitchen.
Look, why don't we
just let Mr. Sheffield decide?
-That's fair.
-Why are we arguing?
I can relinquish three days
of the Wilsons' butler
pulling down his sock garters
to show me his tan lines.
Really? Well, that's very sweet of you.
Now relinquish means
you're not going, right?
-Yes, yes, yes.
-Okay. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I've got work to do, so you tape
Bold and the Beautiful.
Of course.
You have much to learn, young Jedi.
Sir, please let me have this weekend off.
My last vacation was two years ago,
but it doesn't really count.
Miss Babcock showed up,
and then there was
this tropical depression. Mine!
But, Mr. Sheffield, you know I've gotta go
to my family's reunion.
Well, to be honest, Niles, I--
Don't. Stop.
I did just give you a month off, already.
I was recovering from a heart attack.
Look, how you budget your vacation time
is your business.
-I'll bring you back Cuban cigars.
-I'll send my mother to Cuba.
-I'll make you baked Alaska.
-I'll send my mother to Alaska.
Well, in all fairness, Miss Fine,
Niles did ask me first.
-He's wearing your suit.
-Well, she's wearing Miss Gracie's skirt.
And that's how I just won.
She was working in a bridal shop
In Flushing, Queens
'Til her boyfriend kicked her out
In one of those crushing scenes
What was she to do, where was she to go?
She was out on her fanny
So, over the bridge from Flushing
To the Sheffields' door
She was there to sell makeup
But the father saw more
She had style, she had flair
She was there
That's how she became the Nanny
Who would have guessed
That the girl we described
Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed?
-Now the father finds her beguiling
-Watch out, C.C.
-And the kids are actually smiling
-Such joie de vivre!
She's the lady in red
When everybody else is wearing tan
The flashy girl from Flushing
The Nanny named Fran
You know, the only reason he picked you
is because I don't look good in heels.
Why?
I thought you looked great last Halloween,
when you went as Tootsie.
-Really?
-Yeah.
I didn't think it all came to--
You're just trying to suck up
-because you know I'm mad at you.
-Niles,
I got what I wanted, not because
of anything I said,
-or the way I looked.
-Oh, please.
"Oh, Mr. Sheffield...
You mind if I dust your desk
with my tokus?"
Well, if it isn't Priscilla,
queen of the dessert.
You didn't mind me wearing the tube top
to get you that Fantom Fury vacuum
with the HEPA filter, did ya?
I can only imagine how long it took you
to find something skimpy.
There's a three-second scavenger hunt.
What a treat! It's not often one gets
to see a domestic squabble
between actual domestics.
Hey, I insulted you.
Now you're supposed to insult me back.
There's a rhythm to these things, man.
Do you realize
that she gets everything she wants
because she has Mr. Sheffield
wrapped around her little finger?
Well, look who just popped his head out
of Maxwell's derrière
to announce it's spring.
What have I been saying
for the past four years?
You know, maybe we've been
on opposite sides too long.
Well, I wouldn't mind getting back
at Miss Fine.
And we are just the team to do it.
All right. From now on it's you
and me, Babcock.
You know, Niles, this is the best cup
of coffee you've ever made.
Well, in honor of our new alliance,
I must confess
this is the first time I've ever put it
in a clean cup.
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
I seen ya 'round around
For a long, long time
I really remember too
When you drank my wine
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
I seen ya walkin' down in Chinatown
I called but you could not look around
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
I pay my money to the welfare line
I seen ya standing in it every time
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
First of all, Dr. Miller,
I just want to tell you
that I think that I'm about ready
to graduate from therapy.
Yep, I really feel like I have grown
and matured.
I've really come to like myself
as a person.
-What's the problem?
-Everyone else hates me.
Well, tell me about it.
Well, it's Niles.
Niles, yeah. Nosy, yenta butler?
Yeah, that's him.
He's got this crazy idea
that I use my sensuality to get my way.
Do you feel you do that, Fran?
No. Dr. Miller...
you know me.
I mean, I don't do things like that.
Just look at your body language.
Dr. Miller,
do you think I'm trying to seduce you?
Do you want me to put this
in the dishwasher?
No, sweetie, I'll do it.
Listen, are you coming with me
to Paint Your Pottery tonight?
Of course.
The ceramic tissue box
I made for your powder room
is coming out of the kiln.
Okay, Scully and Mulder,
care to explain this X-File?
Well, I've gotta get back
to the salt mines.
Later, C.
Niles, we gotta talk.
I just spent my entire session
at Dr. Miller's,
talking about you playing yo-yo
with my feelings
and pretending like I don't exist.
And that time
could have been better spent
talking about Mr. Sheffield doing that.
-I don't know what you're talking about.
-Come on.
You're being mean to me,
you're friends with Ms. Babcock.
It's a world gone mad.
Next thing you know, you'll be saying
Barbra is marrying the guy
from the AAMCO commercials.
Wait a minute. That is happening.
This is ridiculous.
Why don't you just invite Mr. Sheffield
and the children
to go to Niagara Falls
with you and your family?
Oh, please.
What horrible thing did
the man ever do to deserve that?
You're slipping, Sadie.
Don't you want to get engaged?
Keep talking.
Niagara Falls is the honeymoon capital
of the world.
Thirty million people go there every year
and wind up getting married on the spot.
It's magical, it's mystical.
Mr. Sheffield won't be able to resist you.
-Really?
-Absolutely.
Getting proposed to is like buying
real estate.
"Location, location, location."
Niles, you're a genius.
Now we can both go away this weekend.
-I'm so happy we're friends again.
-Me too.
I don't know what I was doing
in that unholy alliance with Babcock.
I know, it was kind
of like Yogi dumping Boo Boo
for the ranger.
Kids, I have such exciting news.
We're all going to Niagara Falls.
Your father and I are getting married!
-Dad finally popped the question?
-No. Not yet.
But Niagara Falls is
the engagement capital of the world.
And Dad's already agreed to go with you?
No. Not yet.
-This is so sad. This is ridiculous.
-Yeah, this really is.
Just go pack and act surprised, would you?
Don't worry, Fran. If it actually happens,
we will be genuinely stunned.
-I got your message.
-Hi, Ma.
This is so exciting.
The last time I was at Niagara Falls
was when Daddy proposed to me.
I didn't know Daddy asked you
to marry him in Niagara Falls.
-That's so romantic.
-Yeah, he had no intention
of proposing at all.
He went to get me a bromo
for my morning sickness.
The place cast a spell.
Have I never taught you
about the magic of the Falls?
No.
You were too busy teaching me
to suck the innards
out of the chocolate-covered cherries
before they weighed the bag.
Meanwhile, has that not saved you hundreds
of dollars over the years?
Oh, Ma...
If the mystique of the Falls is true,
this could be it.
I could be getting married
right on the boat.
Cousin Cookie will play the spoons
on her boobs, so there's the band.
And the whole family
has already booked the hotel,
so we don't have to put them up.
All you have to do is hang your bagel
over the railing,
and the lox just jumps right onto it.
Darling, this is the kind of wedding
that mothers dream of.
Free!
Hi.
Well, if it isn't "I Love Loosely."
Okay, it's your turn.
-Toss out something really vile.
-I would, but I can't lift you.
That was about me.
What's the matter, bud?
I thought you and me were a team.
It was what it was, and now it's over.
But, we had plans.
Now I won't hear that little voice
in my computer.
"You've got mail."
Anyhoo...
I was reading the paper.
El Nino's coming to New York this weekend,
and you and the kids have got
to get out of all that water.
I'll tell you what.
You all could come
to the Fine family reunion
in Niagara Falls.
Or I could eat a bowl of leeches,
and slowly bleed to death
from the inside out.
Well, if you're on the fence about it,
let me ask the kids.
-Hey, what's up, Fran?
-Hey.
You wanna hear some exciting news
for the first time?
-Yeah.
-How would you like to go, this weekend,
to Niagara Falls?
-That would be so cool.
-We could not be happier.
I've waited for this glorious moment
for five years.
Overdoing it, honey.
All right. All right.
I know when I'm outnumbered.
Seems we're going to Niagara Falls
for the Fine family reunion.
We're gonna have so much fun.
Just don't get freaked out.
It could get pretty treacherous
being thrown about,
bounced off a handrail,
spritzed in the face.
I'm quite comfortable on boats, Miss Fine.
No, I was talking about the buffet line.
Here, darling, put this on.
No, Ma, I'm not covering myself
with that plastic.
You want Mr. Sheffield to think
he's proposing to your couch?
Morty,
I'm putting your hair in my purse.
We're not gonna lose another $600,
like we did at Raging Waters.
You know...
I proposed to my wife
on this boat 30 years ago.
And for 30 years, she's been saying,
"Hey, Ray, when are we going back
to Niagara Falls?"
I said, "When you stop hocking me."
So, here we are.
You big pain in the--
Excuse me.
I hear that you're in the show business.
Well, I have an idea,
and people think it should be a play.
It takes place in Connecticut.
And?
What, you're not bringing anything
to the party?
All right, Marilyn, leave him alone.
Is she pitching you
her Connecticut story again?
Pretty good, huh?
Look, look Miss Fine,
we're getting closer to the Falls.
-Let's go find the children.
-Okay.
There's Gracie over here. I'll get Gracie.
Hey, sweetheart, come and look at the--
That's just Aunt Cookie.
Yeah, she's the one that plays
the spoons on her...
Yes. Right. Yeah, the maestro.
I enjoyed your rendition of "Wipeout."
That was "Little Brown Jug."
Played it too fast.
Where the devil is this boat going,
Miss Fine?
The Island of Dr. Moreau?
Come on, Mr. Sheffield,
let's go to the bow of the boat.
That's the best place to propose.
I mean...
I propose that we go there.
Oh, my God!
Is this not magnificent?
Over 30 million served.
Come here, Miss Fine.
You're missing all this.
What?
Is this not the most,
the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?
I can't hear you.
It's magical.
It's just magical.
Miss Fine,
will you marry me?
What did you say?
I said--
So, you're on the boat,
you're approaching the falls,
did Mr. Sheffield propose?
Well, let's just put it this way.
They're renaming the boat after me.
Old Maid of the Mist.
Well, Fran, you know what they say.
What, Val?
No, really. You know what they say, Fran.
You're far more the sophisticate than I.
Well, there's no mystique,
and there's no magic.
Just a bunch of propaganda
to get you to buy idiotic souvenirs.
Wait a minute, I got you something.
Look at this.
Niagara Falls corn cob holders.
-Oh, God...
-Yeah.
-...look at the detail work.
-Yep.
Yeah, well.
-You put it away for special.
-Yeah.
-Oh, hi.
-What happened to you?
It was really quite dramatic, actually.
The falls were so powerful.
Freak wave came along
and knocked me right off my feet.
Does not remember anything
about the entire trip.
All I could say is, "Thank God."
Well, I guess I better put out the trash,
and then start preparing dinner.
A butler's work is never done, eh?
Niles, don't you think
that you should tell him?
Well, if you like.
But he also thinks the butler's fooling
around with the nanny.
You cleaned enough. It's time to rest.
Miss Fine, I'm most dreadfully sorry. I--
Thank God I remembered who I was
before anything happened.