The Nanny (1993–1999): Season 3, Episode 17 - The Grandmas - full transcript
When her mother throws her father out of the house, Fran seeks advice from her grandmothers. She also thinks that Mr. Sheffield needs a change in his life.
I hope Fran's okay.
She's never been
late for breakfast.
Oh, I'm sure Miss Fine's
all right.
It takes time for her
to roll out of bed,
throw on a robe.
Well, and then
there's the slipper dilemma.
Fuzzy or formal
marabou-feather pom-pom?
Good morning, everyone.
Miss Fine,
why aren't you undressed?
You know,
I've dreamt of you
asking me that question.
Only you guys weren't there.
But Niles was.
What that man could do
with a feather duster.
Don't ever let him go.
You guys already
started breakfast?
Gee, I was gonna suggest
we all go out to eat,
you know, for a change.
Well, Miss Fine,
I rather prefer
to stay at home.
Niles is the only one
who knows how to make
my breakfast
just the way I like it.
Toast and eggs? Please.
Daniel Day-Lewis
could make that
with his left foot
tied behind his back.
Although,
who would want to eat it?
Come on,
aren't you sick of
the same old routine?
I don't have a routine,
Miss Fine.
Of course you do.
I come in here every morning.
I sit down.
You say I look gorgeous.
Well, I don't do that.
Well, start.
Oh, just one piece of toast
Oh, just one piece of toast
this morning, Niles.
this morning, Niles.
I think I overdid...it this
I think I overdid...it this
weekend.
weekend!
(DOORBELL RINGING)
Just what is your problem,
Miss Fine?
We're in a rut, honey.
I mean, Mr. Sheffield.
Nothing ever
changes around here.
I mean, it's Monday morning,
which means Miss Babcock
has just arrived.
She's handing Niles her coat.
She's saying, "Careful,
I just cleaned my fur."
To which he responds,
"Well, don't cough
up any hairballs."
And right about now,
she's getting even with him.
(NILES SCREAMS)
Miss Babcock is here.
♪ She was working
in a bridal shop
in Flushing, Queens
♪ 'Til her boyfriend
kicked her out
♪ in one of those
crushing scenes
♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go?
♪ She was out on her fanny
♪ So over the bridge
from Flushing
to the Sheffield's door
♪ She was there
to sell makeup,
but the father saw more
♪ She had style!
She had flair!
She was there!
♪ That's how
she became the nanny!
♪ Who would have guessed
that the girl we've described
♪ was just exactly what
the doctor prescribed?
♪ Now the father
finds her beguiling
♪ Watch out, C.C.!
♪ And the kids
are actually smiling
♪ Such joie de vivre!
♪ She's the lady in red
when everybody else
is wearing tan
♪ The flashy girl from Flushing
♪ The nanny named Fran!
Oh, Fran,
can you help me with this?
It's really hard.
Homework?
No. A Cosmo quiz.
Oh, sure, honey.
Let's see.
Oh, "Is your man
making the cut or
are you in a rut?"
Wow, this should
be very informative.
(SHUSHING)
Yeah, I want to
see if Peter and I...
Now...
Fran, you got a minute?
Uh...
Oh, Fran, it's okay.
I mean,
I probably should
be doing my homework.
Oh, sweetie,
you're a gorgeous,
blonde heiress.
You need trigonometry
like a hole...
Oh, here you go.
Take your pen,
go upstairs, do your homework.
Fran, I made a play
date for tomorrow.
Uh-oh, tomorrow's
my manicure day.
That's okay.
Oh, no, it isn't, honey.
I mean, my personal business
should never interfere
with you and your friends.
Can't you change the play date?
Fran, I don't know
how to say this
without hurting you.
Well, just be honest.
I don't want you
to come with me.
Haven't you ever
heard of a white lie?
I think I'm old
enough to go alone.
Alone? What are you, six?
I'm 10.
Wow! Are you short for 10?
I just don't think
I need my nanny
sitting there,
watching me play
with my friends.
It's kind of embarrassing.
Uh, perhaps I should
explain what a white lie is.
Hi, Miss Babcock.
Gee, that outfit
looks fabulous on you.
Why, thank you, Nanny Fine.
You don't think
it's too tailored?
No, not at all.
Very sexy.
That was a variation
on a white lie
known as lying
through your teeth.
But, you know,
you gotta be careful
because if you
make it too obvious,
they're gonna see
right through it.
Fran,
I really want to go alone.
Although, I'll miss
the sound of your voice.
It's so soothing.
Thank you, sweetheart.
So, can I go or not?
Honey, what are you so
anxious to grow up for anyway?
I mean, at your age,
it's cute to be single.
Fran, if you don't
have to stay there
babysitting me,
you'll have more
time for yourself.
Sweetie, it's my job.
What do you think?
I need to go to the movies
or have lunch with Val
or go shopping...
You know what?
We'll try it once.
We'll see if you like it.
Can you imagine,
Miss Fine thinking
I'm predictable?
Me.
Mr. Spontaneity.
Spontaneity.
Niles, you don't think
I'm predictable, do you?
Well, predictable is good.
Predictable is solid.
Oh, God, even I knew
I was gonna say that.
Well, if I were you,
sir, I'd do something
before she wakes up
in the bedroom of
another man...sion.
Niles,
I want her to be happy here.
How do you suggest
I go about
satisfying Miss Fine?
Well, the second way, sir...
Niles.
Oh, just shake it up, sir.
Do something wild.
Out there.
Totally unexpected!
I don't know.
Give me a bonus.
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
Gracie doesn't want me
to take her to
play date any more.
She doesn't need me.
Did you know she was 10?
Miss Fine, do you
think this tie is boring?
Mr. Sheffield, this is
very traumatic for me.
I'm losing my baby.
Yes or no?
Well,
it wouldn't be Monday
without your Monday tie.
That's it. It's gone!
All right.
What else don't you like?
I'm not crazy about the pants.
Miss Fine!
Miss Fine!
You are just going to avoid
the whole issue, aren't you?
So predictable.
Oh, oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?
Bet you didn't think
I was gonna do that!
Sure.
Tousle Niles' hair.
Typical.
Did he flatten it all out?
Because I do like
a little height.
Fran,
there's no more room in here.
Do you want to take
some of the crystal?
All right. Maybe just
Wilma and Bamm-Bamm.
Don't tell your sister
because I don't want to
start World War III here.
Ma, I can't believe
Gracie doesn't want
to be seen with me.
Honey,
it's a normal thing
for a kid to go through.
Do you remember
when you suddenly
didn't want me to
pick you up at school?
Yeah. But, Ma,
I don't wear a girdle
on the outside of my pants.
Madonna does it, it's trendy.
I do it, I'm a freak.
If you're so upset,
why don't you talk
to Mr. Sheffield
about it?
Oh, me and Mr. Sheffield,
that's a whole 'nother story.
I don't think
there's any spark left
in our relationship.
Did you try
unscrewing the light bulbs
for a little mood lighting?
Whenever I want to
turn your father on,
the first thing I do
is make it dark.
But, Ma,
me and Mr. Sheffield
aren't even close
to unscrewing.
In fact, I think
we're beginning
to bore each other.
Oh, that's normal
in a marriage.
But me and Mr. Sheffield
aren't married.
Are you living with him?
Yeah.
Are you taking
care of his kids?
Yeah.
Are you having sex?
No.
Then you're married.
Relationships are like thighs.
They start out smooth,
then they get a little lumpy,
but without them,
you don't have
a leg to stand on.
You know, Ma,
I think you're
about a quart low
on your oestrogen.
Honey, the point is
you've got to go
with the flow.
Things change.
Not here, Ma.
That's why I always
like to come home.
That, and I need
a place to hide out
when I pretend to have a date.
Well, honey,
things change here, too.
Look, I changed the curtains.
I got new contact paper.
Nice.
I threw your father out.
I switched to fat-free
Wish-Bone dressing.
What?
You can hardly
taste the difference.
No, Ma.
What about you and Daddy?
I don't want to talk about it.
Do you want a blintz?
Ma! Got any sour cream?
I do. If you don't care
about expiration dates.
No.
What could Daddy have done
to make you throw him
out of the house?
Is it another woman?
Of course not.
You know I don't go that way.
We had a fight.
Oh, is that all?
You two are always fighting.
He'll come back.
It's different this time.
It's for good. Go look.
Oh, my God!
He took his good hair!
Oh, Ma.
Oh, Niles,
my parents are splitting up.
What if Ma starts
dating other men
and finds one she likes
and gets married before me?
Oh, there, there, Miss Fine.
Oh, Niles, I've got to
get them back together.
No one in my family
has ever been
divorced before.
I thought your sister was?
No.
They're just miserable.
What about
your Aunt Hester
and Uncle Louie?
Never legally married.
How about your
Cousin Ernie and...
What are you? Liz Smith?
Oh, Niles,
would you mind
preparing a little nosh?
I have my grandmas
coming over,
Yettie and Nettie.
We're gonna try
and figure out a way
to get my parents
back together again.
What shall I prepare? Nuts?
Some English toffee?
Biscotti?
Yeah, that sounds good.
Just put it
in a blender with
a couple of prunes.
Goodbye, Fran.
I'm going to my play date.
Wait a minute.
What about instructions?
All right, Fran.
Sit down.
Breathe deeply.
Here's the number
if you need me.
I'll be right
across the street.
Okay. I'll be all right.
Go ahead.
Only, look both ways
before you cross the street
and don't talk to strangers
and don't make contact
with the toilet seat.
That's a good girl.
Yeah,
you're almost there, sweetie.
Bye-bye, baby.
(RINGING)
Hi, Gracie?
We made it, honey!
Are you bored?
Do you want me
to pick you up?
I'll buy you something.
Okay, bye.
(SOBBING)
Nanny Fine,
get a hold of yourself.
All these tears just
because of little...
Lacey?
Oh, it's not just
'cause of Lacey.
My parents are splitting up.
Everything that
I've come to rely
and depend on is just gone.
Oh, Nanny Fine, get a grip.
My mother left when I was born.
She wanted a girl.
Sure. It's hard at first.
You're shuttled
from house to house,
forced to choose
who you love the most.
They try to buy your love,
topping each other's gifts,
giving you more and more
until you've got
everything you ever wanted!
Oh, life can be sweet,
Nanny Fine!
Divorce? Embrace it!
(DOORBELL RINGING)
I'm coming. I'm coming.
(COUGHING)
Nanas,
I thought you were
gonna stop smoking.
What, it's gonna
stunt our growth?
Yetta, you promised
you were gonna quit smoking.
She also promised
she wouldn't eat
anything gassy before we left.
Meanwhile,
did you get a seat
on the express bus?
Oh, it is a wonder
I have any class at all.
Oh, there's that floss.
These cookies for us?
Sure, Nana.
Help yourself.
So, Yettie, did you talk to Ma?
Oh, sweetheart, please,
throwing that bum out
was the smartest thing
she ever did.
She should have
married Alan King.
Ma knew Alan King?
No. That was the hitch.
Yetta, you rest.
Nettie, did you talk to Dad?
Why should I?
I like having my
baby home again
in his little room,
in his little bed.
Oh, God, don't tell
me you're bathing him.
He's such a good boy.
There's a bulb
I couldn't reach to
change for 10 years,
but now that
your father's there,
he gave me a boost.
I can't believe you guys.
You're so selfish.
Mom and Dad
splitting up
isn't about you.
It's about me.
Look what you did.
Look what you did.
Franny...
Franny,
you want a pep'mint?
Okay.
Do you want
an...ashtray?
Where did I get this?
The Hilton. Oh, sure.
Oh, forget it.
I'm just gonna
talk to Daddy myself.
Come on, Nettie,
we're gonna go
to your place.
I can't have people over.
I've got nothing in the house.
I suppose
I'll bake some cookies.
I love my apartment.
It's so cheerful.
Sure. It's like living
inside a Hostess Snowball.
Oh, don't sit down, Nettie.
I'll never find you.
Where is he?
Uh... Uh, try the bathroom.
It's the pink door.
I'm gonna start the cookies.
Now, come on, Dad,
you know that Mom
and you are meant
to be together.
I mean, what are you gonna do?
Start sitting at singles bars,
picking up on babes,
hoping that they notice
how much time
you put into your hair,
and all the makeup,
squeezing into
that tight dress.
It's pathetic...
Oh, wait a minute.
Hot cookies!
I don't want things to change.
I want my parents
back together again.
Mom in the kitchen
and Dad in the den,
his hair in the bedroom.
Daddy, come out of there.
What are you doing in there?
Me.
Ma. In the bathroom?
Well,
it is the room he feels
the most comfortable in.
Geez, spare me the details.
I'm just happy
that you and Daddy
got together again and made up.
Twice.
Thank you for your
hospitality, Nettie.
Tramp.
You better believe it.
Mr. Sheffield, I'm home!
Oh, thank God,
nothing ever changes here.
Where are you,
my dependable, stable,
Rock of Gibraltar,
stodgy, uptight,
totally predictable...
Oh, my God!
Is that my blouse?
Dad? Dad, there's
this really great
party tonight and...
Okay,
it might last
until 3:00 a.m.
But before you start
yelling and calling me
"young lady" and
forbidding me to go...
Of course, Margaret, go ahead.
Have a wonderful time.
Oh, Dad, you're so strict.
You never let me do anything.
All my friends are...
What'd you say?
I'm cool.
I don't want to dis your plans.
Do you know why I'm doing this?
You're toasted?
No.
Well, perhaps I'm not
quite as predictable
as some people
like to think I am.
Margaret?
See you.
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
I know what you're doing,
and believe me,
I'm very flattered,
but don't go changing
to try and please me.
No, Miss Fine.
You were right.
I was far too boring.
I need to mix it up.
Keep 'em guessing.
No. I miss boring.
I want it. I need it.
I gotta have it.
At the risk of
slipping into
my old routine,
what the devil are you
talking about, Miss Fine?
I thought you
wanted me to change.
Change a little.
A little is good.
It's like
Michael Jackson's face.
Should have
stopped after Thriller.
Well,
I happen to
like the new me.
Oh, come on,
you don't want Maggie
going to that wild,
out-of-control party
any more than I
want Gracie going on
a play date by herself.
Oh, I'm fine
with Margaret going.
Till 3:00 in the morning?
She's an adult.
With a strange boy?
I trust her.
He's a Kennedy.
Margaret!
How could you let me do this?
Well, I was gonna say...
Look at me.
I'm dressed like
Doc bloody Severance
with my Friday tie
on a Tuesday!
Life with you is the most
convoluted, exasperated...
Go ahead and yell.
That's stable.
That's healthy.
Hello, Mrs. Lombardi,
is Gracie there?
Oh, no.
Let her play.
Let her play.
Uh, yeah. Just tell her
that the doctor called.
It definitely is chicken pox,
and not to scratch her...
Oh, you want me to
come by and pick her up?
I'll be right over.
Coming, baby.
She's never been
late for breakfast.
Oh, I'm sure Miss Fine's
all right.
It takes time for her
to roll out of bed,
throw on a robe.
Well, and then
there's the slipper dilemma.
Fuzzy or formal
marabou-feather pom-pom?
Good morning, everyone.
Miss Fine,
why aren't you undressed?
You know,
I've dreamt of you
asking me that question.
Only you guys weren't there.
But Niles was.
What that man could do
with a feather duster.
Don't ever let him go.
You guys already
started breakfast?
Gee, I was gonna suggest
we all go out to eat,
you know, for a change.
Well, Miss Fine,
I rather prefer
to stay at home.
Niles is the only one
who knows how to make
my breakfast
just the way I like it.
Toast and eggs? Please.
Daniel Day-Lewis
could make that
with his left foot
tied behind his back.
Although,
who would want to eat it?
Come on,
aren't you sick of
the same old routine?
I don't have a routine,
Miss Fine.
Of course you do.
I come in here every morning.
I sit down.
You say I look gorgeous.
Well, I don't do that.
Well, start.
Oh, just one piece of toast
Oh, just one piece of toast
this morning, Niles.
this morning, Niles.
I think I overdid...it this
I think I overdid...it this
weekend.
weekend!
(DOORBELL RINGING)
Just what is your problem,
Miss Fine?
We're in a rut, honey.
I mean, Mr. Sheffield.
Nothing ever
changes around here.
I mean, it's Monday morning,
which means Miss Babcock
has just arrived.
She's handing Niles her coat.
She's saying, "Careful,
I just cleaned my fur."
To which he responds,
"Well, don't cough
up any hairballs."
And right about now,
she's getting even with him.
(NILES SCREAMS)
Miss Babcock is here.
♪ She was working
in a bridal shop
in Flushing, Queens
♪ 'Til her boyfriend
kicked her out
♪ in one of those
crushing scenes
♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go?
♪ She was out on her fanny
♪ So over the bridge
from Flushing
to the Sheffield's door
♪ She was there
to sell makeup,
but the father saw more
♪ She had style!
She had flair!
She was there!
♪ That's how
she became the nanny!
♪ Who would have guessed
that the girl we've described
♪ was just exactly what
the doctor prescribed?
♪ Now the father
finds her beguiling
♪ Watch out, C.C.!
♪ And the kids
are actually smiling
♪ Such joie de vivre!
♪ She's the lady in red
when everybody else
is wearing tan
♪ The flashy girl from Flushing
♪ The nanny named Fran!
Oh, Fran,
can you help me with this?
It's really hard.
Homework?
No. A Cosmo quiz.
Oh, sure, honey.
Let's see.
Oh, "Is your man
making the cut or
are you in a rut?"
Wow, this should
be very informative.
(SHUSHING)
Yeah, I want to
see if Peter and I...
Now...
Fran, you got a minute?
Uh...
Oh, Fran, it's okay.
I mean,
I probably should
be doing my homework.
Oh, sweetie,
you're a gorgeous,
blonde heiress.
You need trigonometry
like a hole...
Oh, here you go.
Take your pen,
go upstairs, do your homework.
Fran, I made a play
date for tomorrow.
Uh-oh, tomorrow's
my manicure day.
That's okay.
Oh, no, it isn't, honey.
I mean, my personal business
should never interfere
with you and your friends.
Can't you change the play date?
Fran, I don't know
how to say this
without hurting you.
Well, just be honest.
I don't want you
to come with me.
Haven't you ever
heard of a white lie?
I think I'm old
enough to go alone.
Alone? What are you, six?
I'm 10.
Wow! Are you short for 10?
I just don't think
I need my nanny
sitting there,
watching me play
with my friends.
It's kind of embarrassing.
Uh, perhaps I should
explain what a white lie is.
Hi, Miss Babcock.
Gee, that outfit
looks fabulous on you.
Why, thank you, Nanny Fine.
You don't think
it's too tailored?
No, not at all.
Very sexy.
That was a variation
on a white lie
known as lying
through your teeth.
But, you know,
you gotta be careful
because if you
make it too obvious,
they're gonna see
right through it.
Fran,
I really want to go alone.
Although, I'll miss
the sound of your voice.
It's so soothing.
Thank you, sweetheart.
So, can I go or not?
Honey, what are you so
anxious to grow up for anyway?
I mean, at your age,
it's cute to be single.
Fran, if you don't
have to stay there
babysitting me,
you'll have more
time for yourself.
Sweetie, it's my job.
What do you think?
I need to go to the movies
or have lunch with Val
or go shopping...
You know what?
We'll try it once.
We'll see if you like it.
Can you imagine,
Miss Fine thinking
I'm predictable?
Me.
Mr. Spontaneity.
Spontaneity.
Niles, you don't think
I'm predictable, do you?
Well, predictable is good.
Predictable is solid.
Oh, God, even I knew
I was gonna say that.
Well, if I were you,
sir, I'd do something
before she wakes up
in the bedroom of
another man...sion.
Niles,
I want her to be happy here.
How do you suggest
I go about
satisfying Miss Fine?
Well, the second way, sir...
Niles.
Oh, just shake it up, sir.
Do something wild.
Out there.
Totally unexpected!
I don't know.
Give me a bonus.
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
Gracie doesn't want me
to take her to
play date any more.
She doesn't need me.
Did you know she was 10?
Miss Fine, do you
think this tie is boring?
Mr. Sheffield, this is
very traumatic for me.
I'm losing my baby.
Yes or no?
Well,
it wouldn't be Monday
without your Monday tie.
That's it. It's gone!
All right.
What else don't you like?
I'm not crazy about the pants.
Miss Fine!
Miss Fine!
You are just going to avoid
the whole issue, aren't you?
So predictable.
Oh, oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?
Bet you didn't think
I was gonna do that!
Sure.
Tousle Niles' hair.
Typical.
Did he flatten it all out?
Because I do like
a little height.
Fran,
there's no more room in here.
Do you want to take
some of the crystal?
All right. Maybe just
Wilma and Bamm-Bamm.
Don't tell your sister
because I don't want to
start World War III here.
Ma, I can't believe
Gracie doesn't want
to be seen with me.
Honey,
it's a normal thing
for a kid to go through.
Do you remember
when you suddenly
didn't want me to
pick you up at school?
Yeah. But, Ma,
I don't wear a girdle
on the outside of my pants.
Madonna does it, it's trendy.
I do it, I'm a freak.
If you're so upset,
why don't you talk
to Mr. Sheffield
about it?
Oh, me and Mr. Sheffield,
that's a whole 'nother story.
I don't think
there's any spark left
in our relationship.
Did you try
unscrewing the light bulbs
for a little mood lighting?
Whenever I want to
turn your father on,
the first thing I do
is make it dark.
But, Ma,
me and Mr. Sheffield
aren't even close
to unscrewing.
In fact, I think
we're beginning
to bore each other.
Oh, that's normal
in a marriage.
But me and Mr. Sheffield
aren't married.
Are you living with him?
Yeah.
Are you taking
care of his kids?
Yeah.
Are you having sex?
No.
Then you're married.
Relationships are like thighs.
They start out smooth,
then they get a little lumpy,
but without them,
you don't have
a leg to stand on.
You know, Ma,
I think you're
about a quart low
on your oestrogen.
Honey, the point is
you've got to go
with the flow.
Things change.
Not here, Ma.
That's why I always
like to come home.
That, and I need
a place to hide out
when I pretend to have a date.
Well, honey,
things change here, too.
Look, I changed the curtains.
I got new contact paper.
Nice.
I threw your father out.
I switched to fat-free
Wish-Bone dressing.
What?
You can hardly
taste the difference.
No, Ma.
What about you and Daddy?
I don't want to talk about it.
Do you want a blintz?
Ma! Got any sour cream?
I do. If you don't care
about expiration dates.
No.
What could Daddy have done
to make you throw him
out of the house?
Is it another woman?
Of course not.
You know I don't go that way.
We had a fight.
Oh, is that all?
You two are always fighting.
He'll come back.
It's different this time.
It's for good. Go look.
Oh, my God!
He took his good hair!
Oh, Ma.
Oh, Niles,
my parents are splitting up.
What if Ma starts
dating other men
and finds one she likes
and gets married before me?
Oh, there, there, Miss Fine.
Oh, Niles, I've got to
get them back together.
No one in my family
has ever been
divorced before.
I thought your sister was?
No.
They're just miserable.
What about
your Aunt Hester
and Uncle Louie?
Never legally married.
How about your
Cousin Ernie and...
What are you? Liz Smith?
Oh, Niles,
would you mind
preparing a little nosh?
I have my grandmas
coming over,
Yettie and Nettie.
We're gonna try
and figure out a way
to get my parents
back together again.
What shall I prepare? Nuts?
Some English toffee?
Biscotti?
Yeah, that sounds good.
Just put it
in a blender with
a couple of prunes.
Goodbye, Fran.
I'm going to my play date.
Wait a minute.
What about instructions?
All right, Fran.
Sit down.
Breathe deeply.
Here's the number
if you need me.
I'll be right
across the street.
Okay. I'll be all right.
Go ahead.
Only, look both ways
before you cross the street
and don't talk to strangers
and don't make contact
with the toilet seat.
That's a good girl.
Yeah,
you're almost there, sweetie.
Bye-bye, baby.
(RINGING)
Hi, Gracie?
We made it, honey!
Are you bored?
Do you want me
to pick you up?
I'll buy you something.
Okay, bye.
(SOBBING)
Nanny Fine,
get a hold of yourself.
All these tears just
because of little...
Lacey?
Oh, it's not just
'cause of Lacey.
My parents are splitting up.
Everything that
I've come to rely
and depend on is just gone.
Oh, Nanny Fine, get a grip.
My mother left when I was born.
She wanted a girl.
Sure. It's hard at first.
You're shuttled
from house to house,
forced to choose
who you love the most.
They try to buy your love,
topping each other's gifts,
giving you more and more
until you've got
everything you ever wanted!
Oh, life can be sweet,
Nanny Fine!
Divorce? Embrace it!
(DOORBELL RINGING)
I'm coming. I'm coming.
(COUGHING)
Nanas,
I thought you were
gonna stop smoking.
What, it's gonna
stunt our growth?
Yetta, you promised
you were gonna quit smoking.
She also promised
she wouldn't eat
anything gassy before we left.
Meanwhile,
did you get a seat
on the express bus?
Oh, it is a wonder
I have any class at all.
Oh, there's that floss.
These cookies for us?
Sure, Nana.
Help yourself.
So, Yettie, did you talk to Ma?
Oh, sweetheart, please,
throwing that bum out
was the smartest thing
she ever did.
She should have
married Alan King.
Ma knew Alan King?
No. That was the hitch.
Yetta, you rest.
Nettie, did you talk to Dad?
Why should I?
I like having my
baby home again
in his little room,
in his little bed.
Oh, God, don't tell
me you're bathing him.
He's such a good boy.
There's a bulb
I couldn't reach to
change for 10 years,
but now that
your father's there,
he gave me a boost.
I can't believe you guys.
You're so selfish.
Mom and Dad
splitting up
isn't about you.
It's about me.
Look what you did.
Look what you did.
Franny...
Franny,
you want a pep'mint?
Okay.
Do you want
an...ashtray?
Where did I get this?
The Hilton. Oh, sure.
Oh, forget it.
I'm just gonna
talk to Daddy myself.
Come on, Nettie,
we're gonna go
to your place.
I can't have people over.
I've got nothing in the house.
I suppose
I'll bake some cookies.
I love my apartment.
It's so cheerful.
Sure. It's like living
inside a Hostess Snowball.
Oh, don't sit down, Nettie.
I'll never find you.
Where is he?
Uh... Uh, try the bathroom.
It's the pink door.
I'm gonna start the cookies.
Now, come on, Dad,
you know that Mom
and you are meant
to be together.
I mean, what are you gonna do?
Start sitting at singles bars,
picking up on babes,
hoping that they notice
how much time
you put into your hair,
and all the makeup,
squeezing into
that tight dress.
It's pathetic...
Oh, wait a minute.
Hot cookies!
I don't want things to change.
I want my parents
back together again.
Mom in the kitchen
and Dad in the den,
his hair in the bedroom.
Daddy, come out of there.
What are you doing in there?
Me.
Ma. In the bathroom?
Well,
it is the room he feels
the most comfortable in.
Geez, spare me the details.
I'm just happy
that you and Daddy
got together again and made up.
Twice.
Thank you for your
hospitality, Nettie.
Tramp.
You better believe it.
Mr. Sheffield, I'm home!
Oh, thank God,
nothing ever changes here.
Where are you,
my dependable, stable,
Rock of Gibraltar,
stodgy, uptight,
totally predictable...
Oh, my God!
Is that my blouse?
Dad? Dad, there's
this really great
party tonight and...
Okay,
it might last
until 3:00 a.m.
But before you start
yelling and calling me
"young lady" and
forbidding me to go...
Of course, Margaret, go ahead.
Have a wonderful time.
Oh, Dad, you're so strict.
You never let me do anything.
All my friends are...
What'd you say?
I'm cool.
I don't want to dis your plans.
Do you know why I'm doing this?
You're toasted?
No.
Well, perhaps I'm not
quite as predictable
as some people
like to think I am.
Margaret?
See you.
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
I know what you're doing,
and believe me,
I'm very flattered,
but don't go changing
to try and please me.
No, Miss Fine.
You were right.
I was far too boring.
I need to mix it up.
Keep 'em guessing.
No. I miss boring.
I want it. I need it.
I gotta have it.
At the risk of
slipping into
my old routine,
what the devil are you
talking about, Miss Fine?
I thought you
wanted me to change.
Change a little.
A little is good.
It's like
Michael Jackson's face.
Should have
stopped after Thriller.
Well,
I happen to
like the new me.
Oh, come on,
you don't want Maggie
going to that wild,
out-of-control party
any more than I
want Gracie going on
a play date by herself.
Oh, I'm fine
with Margaret going.
Till 3:00 in the morning?
She's an adult.
With a strange boy?
I trust her.
He's a Kennedy.
Margaret!
How could you let me do this?
Well, I was gonna say...
Look at me.
I'm dressed like
Doc bloody Severance
with my Friday tie
on a Tuesday!
Life with you is the most
convoluted, exasperated...
Go ahead and yell.
That's stable.
That's healthy.
Hello, Mrs. Lombardi,
is Gracie there?
Oh, no.
Let her play.
Let her play.
Uh, yeah. Just tell her
that the doctor called.
It definitely is chicken pox,
and not to scratch her...
Oh, you want me to
come by and pick her up?
I'll be right over.
Coming, baby.