The Mask (1995–1997): Season 3, Episode 7 - The Goofalotatots - full transcript
♪
♪ I GOTCHA WITH MY
WINNING SMILE ♪
♪ I'M A LIVING LESSON
IN FLAIR AND STYLE ♪
♪ JUST CAN'T HELP BUT STARE
AT MY SAVOIR-FAIRE ♪
♪ I'M NOUVEAU DECO,
ROMAN-GRECO ♪
♪ ROCOCO
BARROCO ♪
♪ BE-BOP HIP-HIP
FLIP FLOP ♪
♪ SOMEBODY STOP ME ♪
♪ PRETTY VIRIDIAN
FACES LIKE MINE ♪
♪ DON'T COME
A DIME A DOZEN ♪
♪ I STAND OUT
OF THE CROWD ♪
♪ BABE,
WHEN THEY MADE ME ♪
♪ YEAH,
THEY BROKE THE MOLD ♪
♪ WHOLESALE AND KIND,
STAID AND REFINED ♪
♪ TOTALLY
OUT OF MY MIND ♪
♪ ARCH VILLAINS
AND NEVER DO WELLS ♪
♪ HAD BETTER LEARN
TO DECORATE PRISON CELLS ♪
♪ GREEN GOES WITH ANYTHING
IF THEY ASK, SEE ♪
♪ WELL THERE'S ONE LAST THING
I GOT TO SING ABOUT ♪
♪ OPEN UP WIDE
AND REALLY SHOUT ♪
♪ OH, LOOK OUT ♪
♪ THIS IS THE MASK ♪♪
SMOKIN'!
OH!
HE'S FANTASTIC.
HE'S AMAZING.
YO-HO,
OVER HERE.
HE'S MINE.
NO, ME.
OOH.
LADIES YOU ALL
WANT ME,
BUT WHO IS TRULY
DESERVING
OF A DANCE PARTNER
THAT'S SLICKER THAN GREASE...
PRANCIER THAN FRED...
AND MORE GLAMOROUS
THAN GINGER.
THANK YOU!
THANK YOU.
FUN CROWD.
THIS REALLY
BURNS ME UP.
SOMETHING FUNNY
IS GOING ON AROUND HERE
AND I'M NOT DOING IT.
I DEMAND TO KNOW
WHO IS RESPONSIBLE.
♪
COME ON,
SHOW YOURSELVES.
I'M NOT MONKEYING
AROUND HERE.
THE GOOFALOTATOTS!
HE'S STINKO.
SHE'S PINKO
AND I'M SNOT.
I'M NOT PINKO,
STINKO.
NO.
I'M STINKO.
HE'S PINKO
AND SHE'S SNOT.
SHE'S NOT WHAT?
I LOVE
THESE GUYS.
CAN I HAVE
YOUR AUTOGRAPH?
OKAY.
BUT IF YOU REALLY
LOVE US...
WHY DON'T YOU
MARRY US?
DEARLY BELOVED,
WE ARE GATHERED HERE
TO JOIN THESE TWO
IN JOLLY MATRIMONY.
♪
STRIKE THREE!
OUT!
TOTS,
THIS MEANS WAR.
GET HIM!
♪
STINKO, PINKO, SNOT,
I'VE BEEN LOOKING
ALL OVER
FOR YOU GUYS.
WHY, IT'S STU.
STU WHO?
STU SCHPEELIER.
OUR MANAGER, SILLY.
OR OUR SILLY MANAGER.
STU, MASK.
MASK, STU.
YEAH. RIGHT.
BEAUTIFUL! LOVE YOU BABY.
BUT WE ARE IN TOWN
TO PROMOTE THE SHOW
NOT WASTE
ALL YOUR BEST MATERIAL
ON SOME
LOCAL CLOWN.
SO, I'M A CLOWN,
AM I?
LIKE I'M HERE TO AMUSE YOU.
IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?
NOW HOLD ON, BABE.
JUST NO DEMANDS.
YOU REALLY
HURT ME STU.
I THINK YOU'D BETTER
JUST GO, GO.
GO-GO?
I THOUGHT
YOU'D NEVER ASK.
YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME,
LET ME OUT OF HERE.
STINKO!
PINKO!
SNOT!
BRAVO, BRAVO!
JUST LISTEN TO THAT CROWD,
THEY LOVE US.
OR FEAR US.
I CAN NEVER TELL WHICH.
YOU ARE OUR KIND OF GUY,
MASK.
WHAT DO YOU SAY
WE DRIVE THIS CROWD WILD.
WHAT DO I SAY?
SOMEBODY STOP US.
♪
BOUNCY, BOUNCY, BOUNCY,
BOUNCY, BOUNCY.
MY, MY, MY!
I DO BELIEVE
THOSE ZANY TOTS
ARE ABOUT TO TAKE
EDGE CITY BY STORM.
♪
JULIE MARIE MCDONALD
HERE LIVE
FROM EDGE CITY PLAZA
WHERE THOUSANDS
OF FRANTIC FANS
HAVE TURNED OUT
FOR THE GOOFALOTATOTS'
ONE-TIME-ONLY APPEARANCE.
SO HOLD ON
TO YOUR HATS, FOLKS,
THE GOOFALOTATOTS INVASION
IS ABOUT TO BEGIN.
CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?
THE GOOFALOTATOTS
IN PERSON.
OH, OH, I LOVE THOSE GUYS.
HEY, MISTER.
STAY AWAY FROM ME, OKAY.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
BOYS AND GIRLS.
AS MAYOR OF YOUR FAIR CITY,
I AM PROUD TO PRESENT
THE THREE,
THE ONLY,
GOOFALOTATOTS!
♪
STINKO, PINKO, SNOT
I AM PLEASED
TO PRESENT YOU
WITH THIS KEY.
EDGE CITY IS YOURS.
WHY, THANK YOU.
DOES IT RUN ON REGULAR
OR UNLEADED?
THIS IS
A GREAT HONOR, SIR.
I BET THIS COULD OPEN A LOT
OF DOORS FOR US POLITICALLY.
AND EVEN
SOME POLITICAL DRAWERS.
GET OFF!
EW, IT LOOKS LIKE
A WIDE-SCALE COVER UP TO ME.
WELL, THAT'S BECAUSE HE HAS
SUCH A HUGE SEAT...IN OFFICE.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, GANG,
SHOULD WE BEGIN
BRIEFING
THE MAYOR?
YEAH!
NO!
YEOW!
♪
LOOK AT THE MAYOR!
YOU KNOW FOLKS,
AS PROFESSIONAL ANNOYANCES,
WE ARE OFTEN ASKED
WHAT TYPE OF PERSON
WE LIKE TO GOOF ON MOST.
WELL,
JUST BETWEEN US,
WE GO GA-GA
FOR POLITICAL FIGURES.
HELLO, LADDIES.
OH, OH.
SO, ASK NOT WHAT CITY HALL
CAN DO FOR YOU
BUT WHAT WE CAN DO
TO CITY HALL.
AND NOW, PLEASE RISE
FOR THE SINGING
OF OUR
IRRATIONAL ANTHEM.
♪
I KNOW I SHOULDN'T,
BUT WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND
WOULD PASS UP A CHANCE
TO GOOF AROUND
WITH THE GOOFALOTATOTS?
HEY!
HEY!
♪ HMM, HMM, HMM, HMM
HMM, HMM, HMM, HMM ♪
♪ WE'RE THE GOOFALOTATOTS
AND WE LOVE FUN ♪
♪ WE DON'T TAKE NO LIP
OR GUM FROM ANYONE ♪
♪ WE'RE THE TOTS
OF GOOFALOT ♪
-♪ PINKO ♪
-♪ STINKO ♪
♪ AND SHE'S SNOT ♪
♪ WE'RE THE GOOFALOTATOTS
AND WE LOVE FUN ♪
♪ WE'RE INSANE, DEMENTED,
CUCKOO, ON THE RUN ♪
♪ ALWAYS QUICK LOOKING
FOR SOME THINGS TO BE FUN ♪
♪ AND OUR JOKES
ARE SO INFECTIOUS ♪
♪ WHICH IS WHY
THEY SO DETEST US ♪
♪ WE'RE THE GOOFALOTATOTS
AND WE LOVE FUN ♪♪
♪
OVER HERE,
YOU BRAINLESS BUFFOON.
GOOD, NOW TAKE
THIS FOOLISH MASK OFF OF ME.
♪
EXCELLENT!
MOST EXCELLENT.
MY PLAN
EVOLVES APACE.
WITH THE MASK'S
UNWITTING ASSISTANCE,
SOON EVERY LAST
EDGE CITY OFFICIAL
WILL BE UNFIT
FOR DUTY.
THEN
AND ONLY THEN
WILL EDGE CITY
BEND TO MY RULE.
AND I'LL HAVE
THE GOOFALOTATOTS
TO THANK FOR IT.
HA-HA-HA-HA.
♪
YOU GUYS
ARE KILLING ME.
I HAVEN'T LAUGHED THIS MUCH
SINCE THE CARTER ADMINISTRATION.
WE NEITHER.
WE'RE LIKE A TEAM.
FOUR PEAS IN A POD.
AND IN RECOGNITION
FOR YOUR INVALUABLE
DISSERVICE
TO YOUR COMMUNITY...
WE'D LIKE TO MAKE YOU
AN HONORARY MEMBER
OF THE DIPLOMATATOTS.
WOW!
I'M TOUCHED.
WE KNOW, WE'VE SEEN
YOUR MEDICAL RECORD.
THIS CALLS
FOR A CELEBRATION.
LAST ONE TO THE COCOBONGO
IS A ROTTEN DANCER.
FREEZE, SOLDIER.
AS A DULY
AND NEWLY-APPOINTED
MEMBER OF THE ELITE
GOOF CORPS
THE FIRST THING
YOU'VE GOT TO LEARN
IS THAT THE GOOFALOTATOTS
ALWAYS FINISH
WHAT THEY START.
WOO-WOO-WOO.
AND TO THAT END,
WE WILL NOT REST
UNTIL EVERY LAST
EDGE CITY
PAPER-PUSHING
OFFICIAL
IS REDUCED
TO A DROOLING LUMP
OF BABBLING
INCOMPETENCE.
ARE WE CLEAR?
YES, SIR.
ARE WE CLEAR?
YES, SIR!
WELL, OKAY THEN.
LET'S MOVE OUT.
ON THE DOUBLE.
MOVE, MOVE
MOVE.
♪
COMMISSIONER,
IT'S GETTING LATE.
WILL YOU
BE STAYING LONG?
I'M AFRAID SO, ERIC.
THIS GOOFALOTATOT MANIA
IS GETTING OUT OF HAND.
I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THEY
TOILET-PAPERED CITY HALL.
WELL, IF YOU
WON'T BE NEEDING ME, SIR.
I'LL BE FINE.
GOOD NIGHT.
CRAZY GOOFS.
OUGHT TO BE LOCKED UP.
♪
HELLO?
WHO IS IT?
WHO'S THERE?
♪
YOU!
WHAT IN SAM HILL
ARE DOING, MISTER?
WELL, CAN'T YOU SEE?
IT'S A BUNNY.
THIS IS A HORSEY.
AND THIS IS THREE HAMS.
-♪ HELLO ♪
-♪ HELLO ♪
-♪ HELLO ♪
HELLO!
OH, NO!
NOT YOU THREE.
OKAY.
THEN HOW ABOUT THREE EWES?
NO, I'M ALLERGIC!
AND NOW
FOR THE SHEER FUN OF IT.
NO, HEY,
YOU, YOU PUT
YOU PUT THOSE DOWN
RIGHT NOW.
THIS ISN'T FUNNY.
BUT THE GOOFALOTATOTS'
MIDNIGHT REIGN OF TERROR
DIDN'T END THERE.
ONE AFTER ANOTHER,
EDGE CITY OFFICIALS
WERE SUBJECTED
TO THE TOTS' MINDLESS
BRAND OF SHENANIGANS.
UNTIL THEY, TOO,
WERE BRANDED MINDLESS
BABBLING,
INEFFECTUAL SHELLS
OF THEIR FORMER
SELVES.
SUBMITTED
FOR YOUR APPROVAL,
ONE DISTRICT ATTORNEY,
DAN DOUGLAS,
A QUIET MAN,
ABOUT TO ENJOY
A QUIET MEAL,
A TASTY BIT OF TAKEOUT
FROM THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
HEY, WHO ARE YOU,
AND WHY ARE YOU
NARRATING
MY MEAL?
OH!
OH, NO.
NOT YOU GUYS.
ACTUALLY, WE'RE TWO GUYS
AND A DOLL.
HOW ABOUT
A LITTLE DINNER MUSIC?
BAND MUSIC, RIGHT?
THAT'S RIGHT.
THIS MUSIC HAS BEEN BANNED
EVERYWHERE WE PLAY IT.
THEY'RE DRIVING
ME CRAZY!
♪
THAT WAS JUST ONE
OF THE MANY HAUNTING IMAGES
CAPTURED ON AMATEUR
VIDEO LAST NIGHT
DURING THE GOOFALOTATOTS'
UNPROVOKED ATTACK
ON EDGE CITY OFFICIALS.
MAYOR TILTON
HAD THIS TO SAY
ABOUT THE FALLEN
KIDDY SHOW FAVORITES.
I HATE THEM!
I HATE THEM ALL!
THEY'RE RUINING
EDGE CITY.
MAY WE QUOTE YOU
ON THAT MAYOR?
IS WINDBAG
ONE WORD OR TWO?
YEEW!
YOU SEE?
THEY'RE A MENACE.
I WANT THEM STOPPED.
NOW!
UNFORTUNATELY
THAT WON'T BE SO EASY,
AS THOSE DARLING TOTS
HAVE DRIVEN NEARLY
HALF OF CITY HALL
OFF THEIR ROCKERS.
MAKEUP!
WHAT'S GOTTEN
INTO THOSE GUYS?
I MEAN, SURE,
EVERYBODY LIKES A GOOD JOKE,
BUT THIS HAS GONE
WAY TOO FAR.
I MEAN THEY'RE DRIVING
PEOPLE CRAZY.
♪
DID THE MASK
PUT THEM UP TO THIS?
♪
I DON'T GET IT, MILO,
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING
TO SHOW ME?
MY GOSH!
IT'S PRETORIUS.
OH, NO!
OH, NO, MILO.
YOU DON'T THINK?
MY HEROES ARE IN CAHOOTS
WITH PRETORIUS.
OH, SAY IT
AIN'T SO, STINKO!
I'VE GOT TO WARN
SOMEBODY ABOUT THIS.
BUT WHO?
HALF THE CITY ISN'T PLAYING
WITH A FULL DECK.
♪
OH, LIEUTENANT KELLAWAY.
DOYLE.
BOY AM I GLAD YOU GUYS
HAVEN'T FLIPPED YOUR LIDS.
OKAY, LISTEN.
PRETORIUS IS USING
THE GOOFALOTATOTS
TO TRY TO TAKE OVER
EDGE CITY.
KELLAWAY?
THAT'S SUPER COP,
MISTER.
NOW BUTTON IT
WHILE I DISPENSE
SOME MUCH NEEDED
JUSTICE.
THAT'S FINE,
SUPER COP.
JUST GIVE ME
THE NICE TICKIE.
ACTUALLY IT'S TWO TICKETS,
CITIZEN.
ONE FOR YOU
AND A GUEST
TO THE ANNUAL
MAYOR'S BALL.
ALL OF CITY HALL'S FINEST
WILL BE THERE.
WITH BELLS ON.
LET'S FLY,
SUPER DOYLE.
HOLD IT!
SUPER COPS.
WE'VE GOT TO STOP
PRETORIUS.
WE'VE GOT TO FIGURE OUT
WHERE HE'LL STRIKE NEXT.
LIKE, OH SAY,
THE MAYOR'S BALL.
AND NOW
THIS MADCAP EPISODE
DRAWS TO A CLOSE.
ALL OF CITY HALL'S FINEST
HAVE GATHERED
TO HONOR
HIS HONOR.
I THINK THAT BY THE END
OF THE EVENING,
THEY WILL BE PLEDGING
ALLEGIANCE TO SOMEONE
EVEN MORE DESERVING.
NAMELY, ME!
MAYOR TILTON,
THE AREA HAS BEEN SECURED.
YOU'RE CLEARED
FOR ENTERING.
REALLY?
YOU'RE SURE?
ABSOLUTELY,
THERE'S NO WAY
THOSE GOOFS
CAN CRASH THIS FUNCTION.
WHEW!
WE'RE ALL CLEAR, DRIVER.
DRIVE ON.
YES, SIR,
AND THANKS FOR CHOOSING
LEAD FOOT
LIMOUSINE.
♪
HEY, DON'T BE SCARED.
STINKO CAN DRIVE ONE OF THESE
WITH HIS EYES CLOSED.
SEE!
RED LIGHT!
RED LIGHT!
MAYOR TILTON,
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
♪
CONTROLS FROZEN.
INSTRUMENTS MALFUNCTIONING.
WE'RE GONNA CRASH!
♪
THANKS
FOR THE LIFT.
KEEP THE CHANGE.
♪
NOW THAT WE HAVE
YOUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION...
WE'D LIKE TO PERFORM
A MEDLEY OF HITS
OF THE GLORIOUS '70S.
NEVER!
I WON'T ALLOW THIS.
GET DOWN FROM THERE.
SAY WHAT?
I SAID,
GET DOWN!
YOU HEARD THE MAN.
GET DOWN.
♪
♪ HMM, HMM, HMM, HMM
HMM, HMM, HMM, HMM ♪
♪ WE'RE THE GOOFALOTATOTS
AND WE LOVE FUN ♪
EVERYBODY!
♪ WE DON'T TAKE NO LIP
OR GUM FROM ANYONE ♪
♪ WE'RE THE TOTS
OF GOOFALOTS ♪
-PINKO.
-STINKO.
AND SHE'S SNOT.
♪ WE'RE THE GOOFALOTATOTS
AND WE LOVE FUN ♪
♪ WE'RE INSANE, DEMENTED,
CUCKOO, WITHOUT HOPE ♪
♪ WITHOUT GUIDANCE
WE ARE JUST BUNCH OF DOPES ♪
♪ WITH PRETORIUS
COMES DISASTER ♪
♪ LET US SERVE
OUR BRAND NEW MASTER ♪
♪ WE'RE INSANE, DEMENTED,
CUCKOO, WITHOUT HOPE ♪♪
LOOK AT THEM.
THE MAYOR, EVERYONE.
THEY ARE LIKE
HAPPY ZOMBIES.
WHY ARE THE TOTS
DOING THIS?
DON'T THEY KNOW
THEY CAN'T TRUST PRETORIUS?
I HAVE TO GET IN THERE
AND TALK SOME SENSE INTO THEM...
AS THE MASK.
IT'S OKAY,
METAL HEAD DUDE,
I'M WITH THE BAND.
♪
JAMMIN'!
MASK,
I GROW WEARY
OF YOUR INCESSANT
MEDDLING.
THIS TIME,
MY GREEN-FACED FRIEND,
YOU HAVE MET
YOUR MATCH.
TOTS,
DESTROY HIM!
NOW, HOLD ON FELLOWS.
I'M YOUR PAL,
YOUR BUDDY,
YOUR GOOMBA.
NOT HIM!
CAN'T YOU SEE?
PRETORIUS HAS TURNED YOU
INTO INSTRUMENTS
OF EVIL
AND DESPAIR.
HEY, WHO ARE YOU
CALLING INSTRUMENTS?
WE'LL SHOW YOU
INSTRUMENTS.
♪
HEAVY.
VERY HEAVY.
OH!
YOU POOR THING.
DOCTOR,
WE'RE LOSING HIM!
BLOOD PRESSURE.
ANESTHETIC.
CLEAR!
SMOKIN'!
HE SPEAKS.
YOU'VE DON'T IT, DOCTOR.
THANK YOU,
NURSE.
YOU MAY HIT HIM
WITH THE BILL.
I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU,
THEY'VE HURT ME DEEPLY.
I'M CRUSHED.
WHAT'S GOTTEN
INTO THOSE GUYS?
HOW IS PRETORIUS
CONTROLLING THEM
AND HOW DOES HE KEEP
IN SUCH GOOD SHAPE
FOR A GUY HIS AGE?
MY MIND IS FLOODED
WITH QUESTIONS.
I'VE GOT TO THINK.
WHAT HAPPENED
TO THAT OLD GANG OF MINE?
WHY ARE THEY
DOING THIS?
WHY HAVE
THEY FORSAKEN ME!
THAT'S EASY.
THEY AREN'T THE REAL
GOOFALOTATOTS.
STU, BABY,
GREAT TO SEE YOU.
WHAT THE NEWS?
WHAT THE HAPPS?
HOW IS IT GOING?
HOW'S IT GOING?
THIS PRETORIUS GUY
KIDNAPS ME,
ASSUMES MY IDENTITY,
THEN SICS EXACT
DUPLICATES
OF MY TOP CLIENTS
ON THE CITY.
HOW DO YOU THINK
IT'S GOING?
HMM...
DO YOU MEAN TO SAY
THOSE ARE THE REAL TOTS?
NO!
THEY'RE ROBOTATOTS.
CATCHY.
WHEW!
RELIEF-O-RAMA.
I KNEW THAT COOKIE CREW
OF MINE COULDN'T DANCE
TO THE SAME TUNE
AS PRETORIUS.
BUT IF THE FAUX TOTS
ARE UPSTAIRS,
THEN WHERE HAS
MY ARCH NEMESIS
IMPRISONED
THE REAL ONES?
WHERE ELSE,
SHERLOCK?
COOL.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
AS NEWLY APPOINTED
MAYOR OF EDGE CITY
MY FIRST ORDER
OF BUSINESS IS...
I'M BACK!
I'M SORRY FOR SHOOTING
MY MOUTH OFF EARLIER.
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT CAME OVER ME.
I'M SUCH
A LOOSE CANNON.
DO ME A FAVOR.
WILL YOU?
JUST BLOW ME OFF!
FIRE ME.
BLAST ME
WITH THOSE BARRELS.
I DESERVE IT!
DO IT!
HOLD IT.
YOU'RE WAY OFF TARGET,
SOLDIER.
15 DEGREES WEST,
30 DEGREES EAST.
PERFECT!
YOU MAY FIRE
WHEN READY.
LOOK OUT!
THE GOOFALOTATOTS,
I PRESUME.
MASK!
MY HERO.
BOUNCY, BOUNCY, BOUNCY,
BOUNCY, BOUNCY.
NO!
THEY'LL RUIN EVERYTHING.
ROBOTATOTS,
STOP THEM!
HOLD!
ONCE AGAIN, PRETORIUS.
IT IS TIME TO FOIL
YOUR SORDID LITTLE SCHEME.
SWISH-SWISH-SWISH.
I'LL TAKE THE ONE ON THE LEFT.
YOU TAKE THE THREE ON THE RIGHT.
AND...
BREAK!
UH, HEY, IMPOSTERS,
CAN WE TALK
TO YOU A SEC?
MENTAL NOTE:
NEVER SEND A TOT
TO DO AN EVIL
GENIUS' WORK.
NOW,
IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ME,
I SHALL TAKE MY LEAVE
OF YOU ALL.
♪
I SHOT AN ARROW
INTO THE AIR,
WHAT IT HITS,
I DO NOT CARE.
♪
WHAT'S FOR DINNER,
SCOUTER?
WEENIE ON A STICK.
OH!
FINE!
IT'S FUNNY NOW
UNTIL SOMEONE
LOSES AN EYE.
IT'S KIND OF SAD REALLY.
AFTER ALL, DEEP DOWN,
THEY WERE JUST TOTS.
AND TOTS
JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN.
♪
CURSE YOU, MASK!
NOW, COMING DOWN
THE LEFT SIDE,
STINKO BOT
PASSES TO PINKO BOT,
PINKO BOT
PASSES TO SNOT BOT,
SNOT BOT SHOOTS,
SHE SCORES!
I'M--I'M WARNING YOU,
STOP THIS SILLY CHARADE.
I COMMAND YOU.
YOU, YOU'VE HAD
YOUR FUN.
I'M NOT KIDDING.
HANG IN THERE, DOC,
THE REGULAR SEASON
WILL BE OVER
IN THREE OR FOUR WEEKS.
THEN,
BRING ON THE PLAYOFFS.
WOO, WOO, WOO, WOO,
WOO, WOO, WOO, WOO...
♪
♪ I GOTCHA WITH MY
WINNING SMILE ♪
♪ I'M A LIVING LESSON
IN FLAIR AND STYLE ♪
♪ JUST CAN'T HELP BUT STARE
AT MY SAVOIR-FAIRE ♪
♪ I'M NOUVEAU DECO,
ROMAN-GRECO ♪
♪ ROCOCO
BARROCO ♪
♪ BE-BOP HIP-HIP
FLIP FLOP ♪
♪ SOMEBODY STOP ME ♪
♪ PRETTY VIRIDIAN
FACES LIKE MINE ♪
♪ DON'T COME
A DIME A DOZEN ♪
♪ I STAND OUT
OF THE CROWD ♪
♪ BABE,
WHEN THEY MADE ME ♪
♪ YEAH,
THEY BROKE THE MOLD ♪
♪ WHOLESALE AND KIND,
STAID AND REFINED ♪
♪ TOTALLY
OUT OF MY MIND ♪
♪ ARCH VILLAINS
AND NEVER DO WELLS ♪
♪ HAD BETTER LEARN
TO DECORATE PRISON CELLS ♪
♪ GREEN GOES WITH ANYTHING
IF THEY ASK, SEE ♪
♪ WELL THERE'S ONE LAST THING
I GOT TO SING ABOUT ♪
♪ OPEN UP WIDE
AND REALLY SHOUT ♪
♪ OH, LOOK OUT ♪
♪ THIS IS THE MASK ♪♪
SMOKIN'!
OH!
HE'S FANTASTIC.
HE'S AMAZING.
YO-HO,
OVER HERE.
HE'S MINE.
NO, ME.
OOH.
LADIES YOU ALL
WANT ME,
BUT WHO IS TRULY
DESERVING
OF A DANCE PARTNER
THAT'S SLICKER THAN GREASE...
PRANCIER THAN FRED...
AND MORE GLAMOROUS
THAN GINGER.
THANK YOU!
THANK YOU.
FUN CROWD.
THIS REALLY
BURNS ME UP.
SOMETHING FUNNY
IS GOING ON AROUND HERE
AND I'M NOT DOING IT.
I DEMAND TO KNOW
WHO IS RESPONSIBLE.
♪
COME ON,
SHOW YOURSELVES.
I'M NOT MONKEYING
AROUND HERE.
THE GOOFALOTATOTS!
HE'S STINKO.
SHE'S PINKO
AND I'M SNOT.
I'M NOT PINKO,
STINKO.
NO.
I'M STINKO.
HE'S PINKO
AND SHE'S SNOT.
SHE'S NOT WHAT?
I LOVE
THESE GUYS.
CAN I HAVE
YOUR AUTOGRAPH?
OKAY.
BUT IF YOU REALLY
LOVE US...
WHY DON'T YOU
MARRY US?
DEARLY BELOVED,
WE ARE GATHERED HERE
TO JOIN THESE TWO
IN JOLLY MATRIMONY.
♪
STRIKE THREE!
OUT!
TOTS,
THIS MEANS WAR.
GET HIM!
♪
STINKO, PINKO, SNOT,
I'VE BEEN LOOKING
ALL OVER
FOR YOU GUYS.
WHY, IT'S STU.
STU WHO?
STU SCHPEELIER.
OUR MANAGER, SILLY.
OR OUR SILLY MANAGER.
STU, MASK.
MASK, STU.
YEAH. RIGHT.
BEAUTIFUL! LOVE YOU BABY.
BUT WE ARE IN TOWN
TO PROMOTE THE SHOW
NOT WASTE
ALL YOUR BEST MATERIAL
ON SOME
LOCAL CLOWN.
SO, I'M A CLOWN,
AM I?
LIKE I'M HERE TO AMUSE YOU.
IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?
NOW HOLD ON, BABE.
JUST NO DEMANDS.
YOU REALLY
HURT ME STU.
I THINK YOU'D BETTER
JUST GO, GO.
GO-GO?
I THOUGHT
YOU'D NEVER ASK.
YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME,
LET ME OUT OF HERE.
STINKO!
PINKO!
SNOT!
BRAVO, BRAVO!
JUST LISTEN TO THAT CROWD,
THEY LOVE US.
OR FEAR US.
I CAN NEVER TELL WHICH.
YOU ARE OUR KIND OF GUY,
MASK.
WHAT DO YOU SAY
WE DRIVE THIS CROWD WILD.
WHAT DO I SAY?
SOMEBODY STOP US.
♪
BOUNCY, BOUNCY, BOUNCY,
BOUNCY, BOUNCY.
MY, MY, MY!
I DO BELIEVE
THOSE ZANY TOTS
ARE ABOUT TO TAKE
EDGE CITY BY STORM.
♪
JULIE MARIE MCDONALD
HERE LIVE
FROM EDGE CITY PLAZA
WHERE THOUSANDS
OF FRANTIC FANS
HAVE TURNED OUT
FOR THE GOOFALOTATOTS'
ONE-TIME-ONLY APPEARANCE.
SO HOLD ON
TO YOUR HATS, FOLKS,
THE GOOFALOTATOTS INVASION
IS ABOUT TO BEGIN.
CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?
THE GOOFALOTATOTS
IN PERSON.
OH, OH, I LOVE THOSE GUYS.
HEY, MISTER.
STAY AWAY FROM ME, OKAY.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
BOYS AND GIRLS.
AS MAYOR OF YOUR FAIR CITY,
I AM PROUD TO PRESENT
THE THREE,
THE ONLY,
GOOFALOTATOTS!
♪
STINKO, PINKO, SNOT
I AM PLEASED
TO PRESENT YOU
WITH THIS KEY.
EDGE CITY IS YOURS.
WHY, THANK YOU.
DOES IT RUN ON REGULAR
OR UNLEADED?
THIS IS
A GREAT HONOR, SIR.
I BET THIS COULD OPEN A LOT
OF DOORS FOR US POLITICALLY.
AND EVEN
SOME POLITICAL DRAWERS.
GET OFF!
EW, IT LOOKS LIKE
A WIDE-SCALE COVER UP TO ME.
WELL, THAT'S BECAUSE HE HAS
SUCH A HUGE SEAT...IN OFFICE.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, GANG,
SHOULD WE BEGIN
BRIEFING
THE MAYOR?
YEAH!
NO!
YEOW!
♪
LOOK AT THE MAYOR!
YOU KNOW FOLKS,
AS PROFESSIONAL ANNOYANCES,
WE ARE OFTEN ASKED
WHAT TYPE OF PERSON
WE LIKE TO GOOF ON MOST.
WELL,
JUST BETWEEN US,
WE GO GA-GA
FOR POLITICAL FIGURES.
HELLO, LADDIES.
OH, OH.
SO, ASK NOT WHAT CITY HALL
CAN DO FOR YOU
BUT WHAT WE CAN DO
TO CITY HALL.
AND NOW, PLEASE RISE
FOR THE SINGING
OF OUR
IRRATIONAL ANTHEM.
♪
I KNOW I SHOULDN'T,
BUT WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND
WOULD PASS UP A CHANCE
TO GOOF AROUND
WITH THE GOOFALOTATOTS?
HEY!
HEY!
♪ HMM, HMM, HMM, HMM
HMM, HMM, HMM, HMM ♪
♪ WE'RE THE GOOFALOTATOTS
AND WE LOVE FUN ♪
♪ WE DON'T TAKE NO LIP
OR GUM FROM ANYONE ♪
♪ WE'RE THE TOTS
OF GOOFALOT ♪
-♪ PINKO ♪
-♪ STINKO ♪
♪ AND SHE'S SNOT ♪
♪ WE'RE THE GOOFALOTATOTS
AND WE LOVE FUN ♪
♪ WE'RE INSANE, DEMENTED,
CUCKOO, ON THE RUN ♪
♪ ALWAYS QUICK LOOKING
FOR SOME THINGS TO BE FUN ♪
♪ AND OUR JOKES
ARE SO INFECTIOUS ♪
♪ WHICH IS WHY
THEY SO DETEST US ♪
♪ WE'RE THE GOOFALOTATOTS
AND WE LOVE FUN ♪♪
♪
OVER HERE,
YOU BRAINLESS BUFFOON.
GOOD, NOW TAKE
THIS FOOLISH MASK OFF OF ME.
♪
EXCELLENT!
MOST EXCELLENT.
MY PLAN
EVOLVES APACE.
WITH THE MASK'S
UNWITTING ASSISTANCE,
SOON EVERY LAST
EDGE CITY OFFICIAL
WILL BE UNFIT
FOR DUTY.
THEN
AND ONLY THEN
WILL EDGE CITY
BEND TO MY RULE.
AND I'LL HAVE
THE GOOFALOTATOTS
TO THANK FOR IT.
HA-HA-HA-HA.
♪
YOU GUYS
ARE KILLING ME.
I HAVEN'T LAUGHED THIS MUCH
SINCE THE CARTER ADMINISTRATION.
WE NEITHER.
WE'RE LIKE A TEAM.
FOUR PEAS IN A POD.
AND IN RECOGNITION
FOR YOUR INVALUABLE
DISSERVICE
TO YOUR COMMUNITY...
WE'D LIKE TO MAKE YOU
AN HONORARY MEMBER
OF THE DIPLOMATATOTS.
WOW!
I'M TOUCHED.
WE KNOW, WE'VE SEEN
YOUR MEDICAL RECORD.
THIS CALLS
FOR A CELEBRATION.
LAST ONE TO THE COCOBONGO
IS A ROTTEN DANCER.
FREEZE, SOLDIER.
AS A DULY
AND NEWLY-APPOINTED
MEMBER OF THE ELITE
GOOF CORPS
THE FIRST THING
YOU'VE GOT TO LEARN
IS THAT THE GOOFALOTATOTS
ALWAYS FINISH
WHAT THEY START.
WOO-WOO-WOO.
AND TO THAT END,
WE WILL NOT REST
UNTIL EVERY LAST
EDGE CITY
PAPER-PUSHING
OFFICIAL
IS REDUCED
TO A DROOLING LUMP
OF BABBLING
INCOMPETENCE.
ARE WE CLEAR?
YES, SIR.
ARE WE CLEAR?
YES, SIR!
WELL, OKAY THEN.
LET'S MOVE OUT.
ON THE DOUBLE.
MOVE, MOVE
MOVE.
♪
COMMISSIONER,
IT'S GETTING LATE.
WILL YOU
BE STAYING LONG?
I'M AFRAID SO, ERIC.
THIS GOOFALOTATOT MANIA
IS GETTING OUT OF HAND.
I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THEY
TOILET-PAPERED CITY HALL.
WELL, IF YOU
WON'T BE NEEDING ME, SIR.
I'LL BE FINE.
GOOD NIGHT.
CRAZY GOOFS.
OUGHT TO BE LOCKED UP.
♪
HELLO?
WHO IS IT?
WHO'S THERE?
♪
YOU!
WHAT IN SAM HILL
ARE DOING, MISTER?
WELL, CAN'T YOU SEE?
IT'S A BUNNY.
THIS IS A HORSEY.
AND THIS IS THREE HAMS.
-♪ HELLO ♪
-♪ HELLO ♪
-♪ HELLO ♪
HELLO!
OH, NO!
NOT YOU THREE.
OKAY.
THEN HOW ABOUT THREE EWES?
NO, I'M ALLERGIC!
AND NOW
FOR THE SHEER FUN OF IT.
NO, HEY,
YOU, YOU PUT
YOU PUT THOSE DOWN
RIGHT NOW.
THIS ISN'T FUNNY.
BUT THE GOOFALOTATOTS'
MIDNIGHT REIGN OF TERROR
DIDN'T END THERE.
ONE AFTER ANOTHER,
EDGE CITY OFFICIALS
WERE SUBJECTED
TO THE TOTS' MINDLESS
BRAND OF SHENANIGANS.
UNTIL THEY, TOO,
WERE BRANDED MINDLESS
BABBLING,
INEFFECTUAL SHELLS
OF THEIR FORMER
SELVES.
SUBMITTED
FOR YOUR APPROVAL,
ONE DISTRICT ATTORNEY,
DAN DOUGLAS,
A QUIET MAN,
ABOUT TO ENJOY
A QUIET MEAL,
A TASTY BIT OF TAKEOUT
FROM THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
HEY, WHO ARE YOU,
AND WHY ARE YOU
NARRATING
MY MEAL?
OH!
OH, NO.
NOT YOU GUYS.
ACTUALLY, WE'RE TWO GUYS
AND A DOLL.
HOW ABOUT
A LITTLE DINNER MUSIC?
BAND MUSIC, RIGHT?
THAT'S RIGHT.
THIS MUSIC HAS BEEN BANNED
EVERYWHERE WE PLAY IT.
THEY'RE DRIVING
ME CRAZY!
♪
THAT WAS JUST ONE
OF THE MANY HAUNTING IMAGES
CAPTURED ON AMATEUR
VIDEO LAST NIGHT
DURING THE GOOFALOTATOTS'
UNPROVOKED ATTACK
ON EDGE CITY OFFICIALS.
MAYOR TILTON
HAD THIS TO SAY
ABOUT THE FALLEN
KIDDY SHOW FAVORITES.
I HATE THEM!
I HATE THEM ALL!
THEY'RE RUINING
EDGE CITY.
MAY WE QUOTE YOU
ON THAT MAYOR?
IS WINDBAG
ONE WORD OR TWO?
YEEW!
YOU SEE?
THEY'RE A MENACE.
I WANT THEM STOPPED.
NOW!
UNFORTUNATELY
THAT WON'T BE SO EASY,
AS THOSE DARLING TOTS
HAVE DRIVEN NEARLY
HALF OF CITY HALL
OFF THEIR ROCKERS.
MAKEUP!
WHAT'S GOTTEN
INTO THOSE GUYS?
I MEAN, SURE,
EVERYBODY LIKES A GOOD JOKE,
BUT THIS HAS GONE
WAY TOO FAR.
I MEAN THEY'RE DRIVING
PEOPLE CRAZY.
♪
DID THE MASK
PUT THEM UP TO THIS?
♪
I DON'T GET IT, MILO,
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING
TO SHOW ME?
MY GOSH!
IT'S PRETORIUS.
OH, NO!
OH, NO, MILO.
YOU DON'T THINK?
MY HEROES ARE IN CAHOOTS
WITH PRETORIUS.
OH, SAY IT
AIN'T SO, STINKO!
I'VE GOT TO WARN
SOMEBODY ABOUT THIS.
BUT WHO?
HALF THE CITY ISN'T PLAYING
WITH A FULL DECK.
♪
OH, LIEUTENANT KELLAWAY.
DOYLE.
BOY AM I GLAD YOU GUYS
HAVEN'T FLIPPED YOUR LIDS.
OKAY, LISTEN.
PRETORIUS IS USING
THE GOOFALOTATOTS
TO TRY TO TAKE OVER
EDGE CITY.
KELLAWAY?
THAT'S SUPER COP,
MISTER.
NOW BUTTON IT
WHILE I DISPENSE
SOME MUCH NEEDED
JUSTICE.
THAT'S FINE,
SUPER COP.
JUST GIVE ME
THE NICE TICKIE.
ACTUALLY IT'S TWO TICKETS,
CITIZEN.
ONE FOR YOU
AND A GUEST
TO THE ANNUAL
MAYOR'S BALL.
ALL OF CITY HALL'S FINEST
WILL BE THERE.
WITH BELLS ON.
LET'S FLY,
SUPER DOYLE.
HOLD IT!
SUPER COPS.
WE'VE GOT TO STOP
PRETORIUS.
WE'VE GOT TO FIGURE OUT
WHERE HE'LL STRIKE NEXT.
LIKE, OH SAY,
THE MAYOR'S BALL.
AND NOW
THIS MADCAP EPISODE
DRAWS TO A CLOSE.
ALL OF CITY HALL'S FINEST
HAVE GATHERED
TO HONOR
HIS HONOR.
I THINK THAT BY THE END
OF THE EVENING,
THEY WILL BE PLEDGING
ALLEGIANCE TO SOMEONE
EVEN MORE DESERVING.
NAMELY, ME!
MAYOR TILTON,
THE AREA HAS BEEN SECURED.
YOU'RE CLEARED
FOR ENTERING.
REALLY?
YOU'RE SURE?
ABSOLUTELY,
THERE'S NO WAY
THOSE GOOFS
CAN CRASH THIS FUNCTION.
WHEW!
WE'RE ALL CLEAR, DRIVER.
DRIVE ON.
YES, SIR,
AND THANKS FOR CHOOSING
LEAD FOOT
LIMOUSINE.
♪
HEY, DON'T BE SCARED.
STINKO CAN DRIVE ONE OF THESE
WITH HIS EYES CLOSED.
SEE!
RED LIGHT!
RED LIGHT!
MAYOR TILTON,
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
♪
CONTROLS FROZEN.
INSTRUMENTS MALFUNCTIONING.
WE'RE GONNA CRASH!
♪
THANKS
FOR THE LIFT.
KEEP THE CHANGE.
♪
NOW THAT WE HAVE
YOUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION...
WE'D LIKE TO PERFORM
A MEDLEY OF HITS
OF THE GLORIOUS '70S.
NEVER!
I WON'T ALLOW THIS.
GET DOWN FROM THERE.
SAY WHAT?
I SAID,
GET DOWN!
YOU HEARD THE MAN.
GET DOWN.
♪
♪ HMM, HMM, HMM, HMM
HMM, HMM, HMM, HMM ♪
♪ WE'RE THE GOOFALOTATOTS
AND WE LOVE FUN ♪
EVERYBODY!
♪ WE DON'T TAKE NO LIP
OR GUM FROM ANYONE ♪
♪ WE'RE THE TOTS
OF GOOFALOTS ♪
-PINKO.
-STINKO.
AND SHE'S SNOT.
♪ WE'RE THE GOOFALOTATOTS
AND WE LOVE FUN ♪
♪ WE'RE INSANE, DEMENTED,
CUCKOO, WITHOUT HOPE ♪
♪ WITHOUT GUIDANCE
WE ARE JUST BUNCH OF DOPES ♪
♪ WITH PRETORIUS
COMES DISASTER ♪
♪ LET US SERVE
OUR BRAND NEW MASTER ♪
♪ WE'RE INSANE, DEMENTED,
CUCKOO, WITHOUT HOPE ♪♪
LOOK AT THEM.
THE MAYOR, EVERYONE.
THEY ARE LIKE
HAPPY ZOMBIES.
WHY ARE THE TOTS
DOING THIS?
DON'T THEY KNOW
THEY CAN'T TRUST PRETORIUS?
I HAVE TO GET IN THERE
AND TALK SOME SENSE INTO THEM...
AS THE MASK.
IT'S OKAY,
METAL HEAD DUDE,
I'M WITH THE BAND.
♪
JAMMIN'!
MASK,
I GROW WEARY
OF YOUR INCESSANT
MEDDLING.
THIS TIME,
MY GREEN-FACED FRIEND,
YOU HAVE MET
YOUR MATCH.
TOTS,
DESTROY HIM!
NOW, HOLD ON FELLOWS.
I'M YOUR PAL,
YOUR BUDDY,
YOUR GOOMBA.
NOT HIM!
CAN'T YOU SEE?
PRETORIUS HAS TURNED YOU
INTO INSTRUMENTS
OF EVIL
AND DESPAIR.
HEY, WHO ARE YOU
CALLING INSTRUMENTS?
WE'LL SHOW YOU
INSTRUMENTS.
♪
HEAVY.
VERY HEAVY.
OH!
YOU POOR THING.
DOCTOR,
WE'RE LOSING HIM!
BLOOD PRESSURE.
ANESTHETIC.
CLEAR!
SMOKIN'!
HE SPEAKS.
YOU'VE DON'T IT, DOCTOR.
THANK YOU,
NURSE.
YOU MAY HIT HIM
WITH THE BILL.
I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU,
THEY'VE HURT ME DEEPLY.
I'M CRUSHED.
WHAT'S GOTTEN
INTO THOSE GUYS?
HOW IS PRETORIUS
CONTROLLING THEM
AND HOW DOES HE KEEP
IN SUCH GOOD SHAPE
FOR A GUY HIS AGE?
MY MIND IS FLOODED
WITH QUESTIONS.
I'VE GOT TO THINK.
WHAT HAPPENED
TO THAT OLD GANG OF MINE?
WHY ARE THEY
DOING THIS?
WHY HAVE
THEY FORSAKEN ME!
THAT'S EASY.
THEY AREN'T THE REAL
GOOFALOTATOTS.
STU, BABY,
GREAT TO SEE YOU.
WHAT THE NEWS?
WHAT THE HAPPS?
HOW IS IT GOING?
HOW'S IT GOING?
THIS PRETORIUS GUY
KIDNAPS ME,
ASSUMES MY IDENTITY,
THEN SICS EXACT
DUPLICATES
OF MY TOP CLIENTS
ON THE CITY.
HOW DO YOU THINK
IT'S GOING?
HMM...
DO YOU MEAN TO SAY
THOSE ARE THE REAL TOTS?
NO!
THEY'RE ROBOTATOTS.
CATCHY.
WHEW!
RELIEF-O-RAMA.
I KNEW THAT COOKIE CREW
OF MINE COULDN'T DANCE
TO THE SAME TUNE
AS PRETORIUS.
BUT IF THE FAUX TOTS
ARE UPSTAIRS,
THEN WHERE HAS
MY ARCH NEMESIS
IMPRISONED
THE REAL ONES?
WHERE ELSE,
SHERLOCK?
COOL.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
AS NEWLY APPOINTED
MAYOR OF EDGE CITY
MY FIRST ORDER
OF BUSINESS IS...
I'M BACK!
I'M SORRY FOR SHOOTING
MY MOUTH OFF EARLIER.
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT CAME OVER ME.
I'M SUCH
A LOOSE CANNON.
DO ME A FAVOR.
WILL YOU?
JUST BLOW ME OFF!
FIRE ME.
BLAST ME
WITH THOSE BARRELS.
I DESERVE IT!
DO IT!
HOLD IT.
YOU'RE WAY OFF TARGET,
SOLDIER.
15 DEGREES WEST,
30 DEGREES EAST.
PERFECT!
YOU MAY FIRE
WHEN READY.
LOOK OUT!
THE GOOFALOTATOTS,
I PRESUME.
MASK!
MY HERO.
BOUNCY, BOUNCY, BOUNCY,
BOUNCY, BOUNCY.
NO!
THEY'LL RUIN EVERYTHING.
ROBOTATOTS,
STOP THEM!
HOLD!
ONCE AGAIN, PRETORIUS.
IT IS TIME TO FOIL
YOUR SORDID LITTLE SCHEME.
SWISH-SWISH-SWISH.
I'LL TAKE THE ONE ON THE LEFT.
YOU TAKE THE THREE ON THE RIGHT.
AND...
BREAK!
UH, HEY, IMPOSTERS,
CAN WE TALK
TO YOU A SEC?
MENTAL NOTE:
NEVER SEND A TOT
TO DO AN EVIL
GENIUS' WORK.
NOW,
IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ME,
I SHALL TAKE MY LEAVE
OF YOU ALL.
♪
I SHOT AN ARROW
INTO THE AIR,
WHAT IT HITS,
I DO NOT CARE.
♪
WHAT'S FOR DINNER,
SCOUTER?
WEENIE ON A STICK.
OH!
FINE!
IT'S FUNNY NOW
UNTIL SOMEONE
LOSES AN EYE.
IT'S KIND OF SAD REALLY.
AFTER ALL, DEEP DOWN,
THEY WERE JUST TOTS.
AND TOTS
JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN.
♪
CURSE YOU, MASK!
NOW, COMING DOWN
THE LEFT SIDE,
STINKO BOT
PASSES TO PINKO BOT,
PINKO BOT
PASSES TO SNOT BOT,
SNOT BOT SHOOTS,
SHE SCORES!
I'M--I'M WARNING YOU,
STOP THIS SILLY CHARADE.
I COMMAND YOU.
YOU, YOU'VE HAD
YOUR FUN.
I'M NOT KIDDING.
HANG IN THERE, DOC,
THE REGULAR SEASON
WILL BE OVER
IN THREE OR FOUR WEEKS.
THEN,
BRING ON THE PLAYOFFS.
WOO, WOO, WOO, WOO,
WOO, WOO, WOO, WOO...
♪