The Mask (1995–1997): Season 3, Episode 4 - They Came from Within - full transcript
♪
♪ I GOTCHA
WITH MY WINNIN' SMILE ♪
♪ I'M A LIVING LESSON
IN FLAIR AND STYLE ♪
♪ YOU JUST CAN'T HELP
BUT STARE AT MY SAVOIR-FAIRE ♪ ♪
♪ I'M NOUVEAU,
DECO, ROMAN-GRECO, ♪
♪ ROCOCO, BARROCO,
BE-BOP, HIP-HOP, FLIP-FLOP ♪
SOMEBODY STOP ME!
♪ PRETTY VIRIDIAN FACES
LIKE MINE ♪
♪ DON'T COME
A DIME A DOZEN ♪
♪ I STAND OUT
OF THE CROWD ♪
♪ BABE, WHEN THEY MADE ME,
YEAH, THEY BROKE THE MOLD ♪
♪ WHOLESOME AND KIND,
STAID AND REFINED, ♪
♪ TOTALLY OUT OF MY MIND ♪
♪ ARCH-VILLAINS
AND NE'ER-DO-WELLS ♪
♪ HAD BETTER LEARN
TO DECORATE PRISON CELLS ♪
♪ GREEN GOES WITH ANYTHING
IF THEY ASK, SEE ♪
♪ WELL, THERE'S
ONE LAST THING ♪
♪ I GOTTA SING ABOUT ♪
♪ OPEN UP WIDE
AND REALLY SHOUT ♪
♪ OH, LOOK OUT ♪
♪ THIS IS THE MASK ♪♪
SMOKIN'!
♪
LOOK, THIS IS
A COMIC BOOK CONVENTION,
NOT A LIBRARY.
A-A-A-ARE YOU
GONNA BUY IT?
AW...BOY,
IT SURE IS A LOT OF MONEY.
IT'S A GALACTIC AVENGER
WITH A CAPITAL "A",
NUMBER ONE
IN MINT CONDITION,
A REAL
COLLECTOR'S ITEM.
THIS IS A CLASSIC.
♪
LET'S DO IT.
♪
IT ONLY TOOK
MY LIFE'S SAVINGS,
BUT AT LAST,
I CAN FIND OUT HOW
THE GALACTIC AVENGER
DEFEATED
THE DARK STAR TRIO!
WELL, LOOKEE HERE.
IF IT ISN'T IPKISS.
I DIDN'T BELIEVE
THE CHIEF
WHEN HE SAID
THIS CHUBBY,
PIMPLE-FACED,
GEEK-BOY CONVENTION
WOULD ATTRACT EVERY
GUTTER RAT IN TOWN,
BUT NOW, I DO.
NICE TO
SEE YOU TOO, LIEUTENANT .
GOTTA GO! I'M ON MY LUNCH BREAK,
SO...
NOT SO FAST, JACKSON!
WHAT DO YOU
HAVE HERE?
OH, YOU, YOU WOULDN'T
WANT TO READ IT.
COME ON.
YOU GOT THAT RIGHT.
IF I WANTED
TO READ TRASH
I'D GET A LIBRARY CARD
WITH THE SANITATION DEPARTMENT.
IT'S JUST
A COMIC BOOK.
WELL, NOT JUST
ANY COMIC BOOK.
IT'S, IT'S
THE GALACTIC AVENGER
NUMBER ONE
COMIC BOOK!
OH! NO!
BE CAREFUL!
IT, IT'S IN MINT CONDITION!
GALACTIC AVENGER
NUMBER ONE?
WHOA!
LET ME TOUCH IT!
IS THAT A CHILI DOG?!
HAVE SOME,
IT'S GOOD, GO AHEAD.
DOYLE, GET A HOLD
OF YOURSELF.
YOU'RE NOT
A CHUBBY,
PIMPLY-FACED,
GEEK-BOY ARE YA?
OH BOY,
OH BOY.
YOU KNOW,
I USED TO HAVE
THIS ISSUE
WHEN I WAS A KID.
I THINK MY MOM
THREW IT AWAY THOUGH.
WELL, MOM'S ARE GENETICALLY
PROGRAMMED TO DO THAT.
COME ON!
I LOVE GALACTIC AVENGER!
ESPECIALLY
THIS DOG, QUASAR.
OO, AND THE DARK STAR TRIO,
THEY ARE MEAN DUDES.
ISN'T THIS WORTH
A LOT OF MONEY?
YES, IT IS!
THIS FISH WRAP?
HOW MUCH?
LIEUTENANT!
GIVE IT BACK!
THAT'S NOT
JUST A BOOK!
THAT'S MY LIFE SAVINGS!
ALL RIGHT.
BABY WANTS HIS BOTTLE.
AGH!
LIEUTENANT, THAT GUY
RIPPED YOU OFF!
DOYLE, I KNOW!
AFTER HIM!
ONLY ONE WAY
TO CATCH THAT
SPEEDING COMIC!
♪
SIDE STITCH!
GET IN!
THAT THIEVING GUTTER RAT
CAN'T OUTRUN EIGHT CYLINDERS
AND MY BAD TEMPER!
♪
ONWARD, MAXIMUS!
NODUS COMICUS BOOKUS
STRAIGHT AHEAD US!
HMM?
HAIL, CAESAR ROMERO!
HAIL, FLAT-FOOTUS!
HEY, MR. ROMAN CHARIOT DRIVER!
PLEASE OBSERVATE
THE SPEED LIMIT NOW!
CAN YOU HEAR ME?
DOYLE, IT'S THE MASK!
OH, HEH.
HUH?
TOGA PARTY!
♪
SOMEBODY STOP ME!
IF ANYTHING HAPPENED
ON THE WAY
TO THE COMIC BOOK
CONVENTION...
WHOA!
♪
BUT LIEUTENANT,
THE THIEF WENT THAT WAY!
CAN'T YOU SEE?
THEY'RE WORKING
TOGETHER!
IT'S A CONSPIRACY!
♪
I SAW HIM
COME IN HERE.
♪
THE COMIC!
♪
UM, I DON'T SEE HIM,
LIEUTENANT.
GREAT!
I LOST TWO PUNKS TODAY,
AND THAT'S TWO PUNKS
OVER MY LIMIT!
I KNOW WHAT LET'S DO.
HOW'S ABOUT
WE STOP OFF
AT THE SLURP-A-LOOP
FOR AN ICE CREAM CONE
AND MY TREAT?
STUFF YOUR FACE
ON YOUR OWN TIME.
WE'RE GOING BACK
TO THE CONVENTION.
IF THAT THIEF
TURNS UP AGAIN,
WE'RE GONNA BE THERE
WAITIN' FOR HIM.
♪
WARMACHINE,
THE GALACTIC AVENGER
IS NOWHERE TO BE SEEN.
HE HAS ESCAPED
OUR CLUTCHES
ONCE AGAIN,
DRAGON LADY.
RIPTIDE?
YOU WERE EXPECTING
KEVIN COSTNER?
WE WILL FIND
THE GALACTIC AVENGER
AND MAKE HIM
PAY DEARLY
FOR IMPRISONING US
ON POLICE PLANET ALDERON!
WEAK PLOT,
BAD DIALOGUE.
YOU SUPERVILLAINS
ARE STINKO!
EVEN IF SOME OF YOU
ARE GORGEOUS.
WHOA! YOU GOTTA GET OFF THAT INK
AND PAPER DIET, BABE.
IT'S SPO-HO-HO-HO-HOILING
YOUR CURVES.
♪
BREATH MINT!
I'LL PUT THIS FOOL
THROUGH THE SPIN CYCLE!
♪
MANY THANKS, GUNGA DIN.
YA KNOW, YOU GUYS
OUGHT TO REALLY TRY
THESE X-RAY GLASSES
I PICKED UP FROM AN AD
BACK ON PAGE FIVE.
OH!
YOU CAN SEE THE BONES!
AND THAT'S NOT ALL!
HUBBA, HUBBA!
WAIT! THE GREEN ONE
COULD BE OF USE TO US.
HE MAY LEAD US
TO THE GALACTIC AVENGER!
HEY!
KEEP ME OUT
OF YOUR STORYLINE, HUH?
CARUMBA!
I'VE JUST SAID
A BUBBLE-FULL.
ARGH!
AFTER HIM!
THE GREEN-HEADED ONE
MUST...
♪
B IS FOR BUH-BYE!
NO, HE MUSTN'T ESCAPE!
♪
CAN'T FORGET
THE NERD BOY'S PRIZE.
YOU CANNOT
ESCAPE US.
♪
♪
SUPER MONKEY
MOVIE MARATHON?
WELL, I'VE JUST
GOTTA, GOTTA,
GOTTA, GOTTA
BE THERE!
♪
WHAT IS THIS
STRANGE DRY PLACE?
MY SYSTEMS SURVEY
THIS ONE-SUN WORLD
AS A MATCH FOR
THE GALACTIC AVENGER'S
HOME PLANET!
WE MUST
WREAK OUR REVENGE!
BUT WHERE TO FIND HIM?
THE GREEN ONE
WILL TELL US!
♪
HEY!
3D!
WE SEEK THE GREEN ONE!
WHAT A RIP!
YOU AREN'T SUPER MONKEYS!
YOU'RE THOSE DEADBEATS
FROM THE COMIC BOOK!
PARTNERS, WE DON'T PARTICULARLY
CARE FOR BAD DRAWINGS
IN THESE HERE PARTS.
NOW, I DON'T KNOW
HOW IT HAPPENED EXACTLY,
BUT I'LL SAY IT'S BEST
YA'LL MOSEY ON BACK
INTO THE KID'S FUNNYBOOK
WHERE YOU ALL BELONG,
OR I AIN'T JUST
GONNA DRAW YA,
I'MA GONNA RUB YOU OUT.
YOUR WEAPONS
DO NOT FRIGHTEN US,
SILLY GREEN MAN.
OUR POWERS
WILL EASILY DESTROY YOU!
OH, PLEASE!
NOT THAT!
NOT THE DREADED INK STAIN
OR THE EVIL PAPER CUT!
♪
SOLID!
WHOA! JUMPING OUT OF THAT COMIC
HAS SURE PUT SOME MEAT
ON YOUR BONES, JUNIOR.
WHICH IN YOUR CASE,
IS A GOOD THING!
♪
SMOKIN'!
♪
NOTHIN' LIKE
A WARM HOT TUB
TO LOOSEN UP
THE MUSCLES.
YOU'RE IN HOT WATER NOW!
BET YOU'RE
A BED WETTER , HUH?
TELL US WHERE
THE AVENGER IS,
YOU INSIGNIFICANT PEST!
INSIGNIFICANT?
SO, I'M NOT
SUPERHERO ENOUGH
FOR YOU, HUH?
I, PROFESSOR LATEX,
BESEECH YOU
TO RETURN
TO YOUR WORLD.
WHO IS THIS STRANGE BEING?
AND WHY
DOES HE CALL THAT BOOK
OUR WORLD?
VERY WELL.
PREPARE
TO BE JOLLY-STOMPED!
ATTACK, MY LATEX MEN!
I AM BICLOPS!
FEEL MY TEEN MUTANT-X!
♪
I THINK I NEED
A STRONGER PRESCRIPTION.
TOUGH GUY, HUH?
I'M TOOLVERINE,
AND I'VE TRASHED
SPACE SCUM LIKE YOU
IN TWENTY QUADRANTS!
♪
THAT OUGHTA
LIGHTEN YOUR LOAD, TIN MAN.
♪
LOOK!
UP IN THE SKY!
IT'S A BIRD!
IT'S A PLANE!
THE MASK?
NO!
IT IS SUPER SALAD MAN!
SUPER SALAD MAN,
I'M REPORTER
LOIS LANEVILLE
OF THE DAILY DUMP.
WHAT IS YOUR MISSION
HERE ON EARTH?
TO KEEP A LOW PROFILE
AS MILD-MANNERED,
ALL-AROUND MEEK GUY,
AND PROFESSIONAL MENTOR,
CLARK BAR.
OH YEAH,
THE GLASSES REALLY FOOL ME.
TO RECRUIT JUSTICE
AND A DELICIOUS APPETIZER,
BE IT SOUP OR SALAD,
BEFORE EVERY MEAL,
AND TO WASH IT
ALL DOWN
WITH A REALLY SMART BEVERAGE.
♪
AH!
COOL AND REFRESHING, NO?
LIKE MOUNTAIN SPRING
WATER!
♪
NO VESSEL
CAN CONTAIN ME!
♪
THAT COMIC-SNATCHING
GUTTER RAT'S
LAYING LOW
BECAUSE HE KNOWS ME BY SIGHT.
WE'VE GOT TO GET
THE UPPER HAND.
ANY IDEAS, DOYLE?
DOYLE?
I HAVE ALWAYS
WANTED TO MEET YOU, ZOBAR,
BUT PLANET MIKA
IS SO FAR AWAY,
SO, YOU KNOW...
DOYLE, HE'S NOT ZOBAR!
HE'S A GUY
IN A STUPID...
HEY, ARE YOU THINKIN'
WHAT I'M THINKIN'?
IT'S TIME FOR THAT
ICE CREAM NOW?
NO!
THIS IS THE PERFECT PLACE
TO GO UNDERCOVER!
♪
I AM SPIDER-HINEY!
I KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE THINKING,
"GOTTA CUT DOWN
ON THE SNACK FOODS,"
BUT CHECK IT OUT!
♪
HA!
LET'S SEE A TICK
OR AN EARTHWORM DO THAT!
UH-OH.
MY HINEY SENSE
IS TINGLING.
MM, I LOVE
WHEN THAT HAPPENS!
FOR THE LAST TIME,
TELL US WHERE
WE CAN FIND
THE GALACTIC AVENGER!
BETTER GET A PENCIL.
GO PAST
SNOOPY'S DOGHOUSE,
AND HANG A LEFT
AT BEETLE BAILEY'S BUNKER.
IT'S NEXT DOOR
TO MARY WORTH'S PLACE.
YOU CAN'T MISS IT!
THE GALACTIC AVENGER
DOESN'T EXIST, COMPRENDE?
JUST LIKE YOU DON'T EXIST!
YOU'RE MAKE-BELIEVE!
YOU'RE NOTHING BUT
A FANBOY FANTASY
FROM SOME ARTIST'S PEN!
YOU GET IT?
YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE!
LOOK! LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK,
LOOK, LOOK ALL YOU WANT!
YOU'RE NEVER GONNA
FIND YOUR GUY!
HE AIN'T REAL!
HELLO!
MY INFRA-VISION
DETECTS SOMETHING.
LET US COMMENCE!
HEY!
WHAT'S THE IN-FLIGHT MOVIE?
♪
MR. GALACTIC AVENGER!
I'VE GOT TO GET
HIS AUTOGRAPH!
PLEASE, PLEASE,
PLEASE, PLEASE!
YOU SURE ARE
POPULAR WITH THE FANS,
LIEUTEN--UM,
MR. AVENGER.
PICKED A GOOD
DISGUISE, HUH?
DOYLE, THE IDEA WAS
TO GO UNDERCOVER,
NOT BECOME
A GEEK MAGNET!
GALACTIC AVENGER,
HOW DID YOU
REALLY ESCAPE
FROM THE SUFFERING SEVEN
IN ISSUE 46?
DON'T DROOL SO MUCH, KID.
YOU'LL DEHYDRATE.
OH, I KNOW!
ASK ME!
NEVER MIND THAT, DOYLE!
JUST GET ME
OUT OF THIS STUPID COSTUME
BEFORE ANYMORE IDIOTS
SHOW UP!
HUH?
WHOA!
WE MEET AGAIN, AVENGER!
ONLY, THIS TIME
WILL BE THE LAST.
♪
I, THE GREEN SURFER,
SHALL TEACH THOSE POSERS
THE RIGHTEOUS CONCEPT
OF CHILLING OUT!
♪
OH MAN,
SUPERVILLAIN DUDES BAILED ON ME!
YEAH!
GO GET HIM!
GET HIM!
GET HIM!
SHOW HIM WHO'S BOSS!
USE YOUR
BIZARREY DEATH GRIP,
LIEUTEN--UH, AVENGER!
DOYLE, SLAP THE CUFFS
ON THE OTHER TWO
WHILE I TAKE CARE
OF LUNCHBOX HERE!
♪
I DON'T THINK
THAT'S GONNA BE POSSIBLE,
LIEUTEN--UH, AVENGER!
YOU BOZOS
ARE UNDER ARREST!
♪
AW!
AW!
LOSER.
THIS IS THE ALL-POWERFUL
GALACTIC AVENGER?
HE IS SOFT AND WEAK.
YOU KNOW, LIEUTENANT,
I THINK
THESE PARTICULAR GUYS
ARE FOR REAL.
THAT MAY
BE THE CASE, DOYLE,
BUT THAT'S NOT
GONNA STOP ME
FROM TAKING A PIECE
OF THEM WITH ME!
HUH?
WAIT!
YOU GUYS
JUST DON'T GET IT, DO YA?
THE MASK!
I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN
HE'D BE IN CAHOOTS
WITH THESE
MUTANT DIRTBAGS!
THIS IS A FLAT-FOOT!
A COP!
A POLICEMAN!
A PANSER!
A G-MAN!
FROM THE POLICE PLANET,
ALDERON!
WHERE WE WERE
IMPRISONED FOR EONS, CORRECT!
TIME TO TAKE YOU
TO A WATERY GRAVE!
♪
ALL RIGHT,
ASKING NICELY DIDN'T WORK
AND NEITHER
DID BRUTE FORCE.
SO, I'M JUST
GONNA HAVE TO GIVE YOU
YOUR JUST DESSERTS!
♪
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
ANYONE FOR
AN ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED
GELATIN SNACK?
RIPTIDE CAN'T BE DESTROYED
WITH GELATIN MIX!
AS IF THEY
DIDN'T TRY THAT
IN GALACTIC AVENGER NUMBER 34.
DOYLE, PUT A SOCK IN IT!
TO DESTROY RIPTIDE,
YOU HAVE TO USE
QUICK-DRY CEMENT.
♪
THANK YOU ALL
FOR THIS HONOR!
GOOD WORK, HUBBY.
YOU STILL THINK
I SHOULD
PUT A SOCK IN IT,
LIEUTENANT?
UH, WELL, THAT WAS
REAL FANCY, DOYLE,
BUT LIKE WE SAY
DOWN AT THE PRECINCT,
THERE'S NOTHING LIKE
A GOOD OLD-FASHIONED
DONNYBROOK!
NO, NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO, NO.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST
GO TO YOUR PAJAMA PARTY,
AND LEAVE THIS
TO THE PROFESSIONALS, EH?
♪
OKAY!
WHAT DO I DO?
UH, WELL, YOU KNOW,
AS I REMEMBER,
IN ISSUE TWO,
WARMACHINE CAN ONLY
BE DESTROYED
BY QUASAR,
GALACTIC AVENGER'S
SPACE-DOG SIDEKICK.
UNO MOMENTO POR FAVOR.
QUASAR!
YOU'RE NEEDED IN ACTION!
♪
COME ON, BOY!
IT'S YOUR TURN
TO BE THE HERO!
♪
OH NO! THERE'S A MARK
AND A CREASE!
OH WELL, I GUESS
IT COULD BE WORSE.
TIME TO MEET YOUR DOOM,
GALACTIC AVENGER!
♪
HEY!
♪
QUASAR, FIND
THE DOGGY DOOR!
♪
ALERT, ALERT!
DANGER!
DAN-DANGER!
FAILING MODE!
LONG LIVE ROCK!
DAISY, DAISY,
HERE WE GO...
YES!
WHO'S THE BEST SPACE-DOG?
YOU!
COME ON, MILO.
GET OFF!
YOUR FRIENDS
MAY HAVE DESTROYED
RIPTIDE AND WARMACHINE,
BUT THE PLEASURE
OF DESTROYING YOU
IS ALL MINE!
♪
YOU'VE GOT
A SCREW LOOSE, SISTER,
BUT YOU'RE LOOKING
AT THE SCREWDRIVER
OF JUSTICE!
OW! OW, OW, OW, OW, OW,
OW, OW, OW, OW, OW!
♪
OH, GREAT SEER!
GIVE US YOUR
ANCIENT WISDOM,
SO THAT WE CAN DESTROY
THE LAST FOUL VILLAIN!
OKAY, LET ME THINK.
DRAGON LADY'S DESTROYED
BY THE...
OH, WEEZILS...UM, OH!
SHE'S DESTROYED
BY THE COMIC MANICURE!
NO, THAT'S NOT...
OH, MUTANT EGGPLANT!
NO.
OR WAS IT THE TIME
THAT SHE WAS WAXED
BY THE GUY
FROM ALPHA CENTARI...
THAT'S IT!
THE SPACE TOAD CHEESE
WILL DESTROY HER!
♪
YODEL-AY-EE-OOOO!
♪
OOPS, THAT WAS THE THING
THAT BROUGHT 'EM
BACK TO LIFE
MORE POWERFUL THAN EVER!
GOSH, I FEEL LIKE
SUCH A BAD FAN!
DOYLE!
NOW, WE SHALL PUT AN END
TO ALL OF YOU
ONCE AND FOR ALL!
IT'S A LONG SHOT,
BUT IT'S WORTH A TRY,
EVEN IF STANLEY'S
REALLY GONNA
HATE ME FOR IT
IN THE MORNING.
NO!
NOT GALACTIC AVENGER
NUMBER ONE!
NO!
♪
GONE-CITY!
YEAH, GONE-CITY.
AW, NOTHING A LITTLE TAPE
AND A COUPLE OF PAPERCLIPS
WON'T FIX.
COME ON, DOYLE.
LET'S GET THAT ICE CREAM.
♪
POOR STANLEY.
♪
MY LIFE SAVINGS
FOR A PILE OF CONFETTI!
SPECIAL DELIVERY!
THANKS, MILO.
NOW, WHAT ON EARTH
COULD THIS BE?
I'M DREAMING!
OH, IT CAN'T BE!
DEAR STANLEY,
COME TO FIND OUT
I FOUND MY COPY
OF GALACTIC AVENGER
IN MY MOM'S CLOSET
LAST NIGHT,
AND I WANT YOU
TO HAVE IT.
A SYMPATHETIC FAN,
DOYLE.
AW!
WHAT A GREAT GUY!
NOW, I CAN FINALLY
FIND OUT HOW
THE GALACTIC AVENGER
DEFEATED
THE DARK STAR TRIO!
NO.
NO, IT CAN'T BE!
IT'S...
IT'S...
IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!
SMOKIN'!
♪
♪ I GOTCHA
WITH MY WINNIN' SMILE ♪
♪ I'M A LIVING LESSON
IN FLAIR AND STYLE ♪
♪ YOU JUST CAN'T HELP
BUT STARE AT MY SAVOIR-FAIRE ♪ ♪
♪ I'M NOUVEAU,
DECO, ROMAN-GRECO, ♪
♪ ROCOCO, BARROCO,
BE-BOP, HIP-HOP, FLIP-FLOP ♪
SOMEBODY STOP ME!
♪ PRETTY VIRIDIAN FACES
LIKE MINE ♪
♪ DON'T COME
A DIME A DOZEN ♪
♪ I STAND OUT
OF THE CROWD ♪
♪ BABE, WHEN THEY MADE ME,
YEAH, THEY BROKE THE MOLD ♪
♪ WHOLESOME AND KIND,
STAID AND REFINED, ♪
♪ TOTALLY OUT OF MY MIND ♪
♪ ARCH-VILLAINS
AND NE'ER-DO-WELLS ♪
♪ HAD BETTER LEARN
TO DECORATE PRISON CELLS ♪
♪ GREEN GOES WITH ANYTHING
IF THEY ASK, SEE ♪
♪ WELL, THERE'S
ONE LAST THING ♪
♪ I GOTTA SING ABOUT ♪
♪ OPEN UP WIDE
AND REALLY SHOUT ♪
♪ OH, LOOK OUT ♪
♪ THIS IS THE MASK ♪♪
SMOKIN'!
♪
LOOK, THIS IS
A COMIC BOOK CONVENTION,
NOT A LIBRARY.
A-A-A-ARE YOU
GONNA BUY IT?
AW...BOY,
IT SURE IS A LOT OF MONEY.
IT'S A GALACTIC AVENGER
WITH A CAPITAL "A",
NUMBER ONE
IN MINT CONDITION,
A REAL
COLLECTOR'S ITEM.
THIS IS A CLASSIC.
♪
LET'S DO IT.
♪
IT ONLY TOOK
MY LIFE'S SAVINGS,
BUT AT LAST,
I CAN FIND OUT HOW
THE GALACTIC AVENGER
DEFEATED
THE DARK STAR TRIO!
WELL, LOOKEE HERE.
IF IT ISN'T IPKISS.
I DIDN'T BELIEVE
THE CHIEF
WHEN HE SAID
THIS CHUBBY,
PIMPLE-FACED,
GEEK-BOY CONVENTION
WOULD ATTRACT EVERY
GUTTER RAT IN TOWN,
BUT NOW, I DO.
NICE TO
SEE YOU TOO, LIEUTENANT .
GOTTA GO! I'M ON MY LUNCH BREAK,
SO...
NOT SO FAST, JACKSON!
WHAT DO YOU
HAVE HERE?
OH, YOU, YOU WOULDN'T
WANT TO READ IT.
COME ON.
YOU GOT THAT RIGHT.
IF I WANTED
TO READ TRASH
I'D GET A LIBRARY CARD
WITH THE SANITATION DEPARTMENT.
IT'S JUST
A COMIC BOOK.
WELL, NOT JUST
ANY COMIC BOOK.
IT'S, IT'S
THE GALACTIC AVENGER
NUMBER ONE
COMIC BOOK!
OH! NO!
BE CAREFUL!
IT, IT'S IN MINT CONDITION!
GALACTIC AVENGER
NUMBER ONE?
WHOA!
LET ME TOUCH IT!
IS THAT A CHILI DOG?!
HAVE SOME,
IT'S GOOD, GO AHEAD.
DOYLE, GET A HOLD
OF YOURSELF.
YOU'RE NOT
A CHUBBY,
PIMPLY-FACED,
GEEK-BOY ARE YA?
OH BOY,
OH BOY.
YOU KNOW,
I USED TO HAVE
THIS ISSUE
WHEN I WAS A KID.
I THINK MY MOM
THREW IT AWAY THOUGH.
WELL, MOM'S ARE GENETICALLY
PROGRAMMED TO DO THAT.
COME ON!
I LOVE GALACTIC AVENGER!
ESPECIALLY
THIS DOG, QUASAR.
OO, AND THE DARK STAR TRIO,
THEY ARE MEAN DUDES.
ISN'T THIS WORTH
A LOT OF MONEY?
YES, IT IS!
THIS FISH WRAP?
HOW MUCH?
LIEUTENANT!
GIVE IT BACK!
THAT'S NOT
JUST A BOOK!
THAT'S MY LIFE SAVINGS!
ALL RIGHT.
BABY WANTS HIS BOTTLE.
AGH!
LIEUTENANT, THAT GUY
RIPPED YOU OFF!
DOYLE, I KNOW!
AFTER HIM!
ONLY ONE WAY
TO CATCH THAT
SPEEDING COMIC!
♪
SIDE STITCH!
GET IN!
THAT THIEVING GUTTER RAT
CAN'T OUTRUN EIGHT CYLINDERS
AND MY BAD TEMPER!
♪
ONWARD, MAXIMUS!
NODUS COMICUS BOOKUS
STRAIGHT AHEAD US!
HMM?
HAIL, CAESAR ROMERO!
HAIL, FLAT-FOOTUS!
HEY, MR. ROMAN CHARIOT DRIVER!
PLEASE OBSERVATE
THE SPEED LIMIT NOW!
CAN YOU HEAR ME?
DOYLE, IT'S THE MASK!
OH, HEH.
HUH?
TOGA PARTY!
♪
SOMEBODY STOP ME!
IF ANYTHING HAPPENED
ON THE WAY
TO THE COMIC BOOK
CONVENTION...
WHOA!
♪
BUT LIEUTENANT,
THE THIEF WENT THAT WAY!
CAN'T YOU SEE?
THEY'RE WORKING
TOGETHER!
IT'S A CONSPIRACY!
♪
I SAW HIM
COME IN HERE.
♪
THE COMIC!
♪
UM, I DON'T SEE HIM,
LIEUTENANT.
GREAT!
I LOST TWO PUNKS TODAY,
AND THAT'S TWO PUNKS
OVER MY LIMIT!
I KNOW WHAT LET'S DO.
HOW'S ABOUT
WE STOP OFF
AT THE SLURP-A-LOOP
FOR AN ICE CREAM CONE
AND MY TREAT?
STUFF YOUR FACE
ON YOUR OWN TIME.
WE'RE GOING BACK
TO THE CONVENTION.
IF THAT THIEF
TURNS UP AGAIN,
WE'RE GONNA BE THERE
WAITIN' FOR HIM.
♪
WARMACHINE,
THE GALACTIC AVENGER
IS NOWHERE TO BE SEEN.
HE HAS ESCAPED
OUR CLUTCHES
ONCE AGAIN,
DRAGON LADY.
RIPTIDE?
YOU WERE EXPECTING
KEVIN COSTNER?
WE WILL FIND
THE GALACTIC AVENGER
AND MAKE HIM
PAY DEARLY
FOR IMPRISONING US
ON POLICE PLANET ALDERON!
WEAK PLOT,
BAD DIALOGUE.
YOU SUPERVILLAINS
ARE STINKO!
EVEN IF SOME OF YOU
ARE GORGEOUS.
WHOA! YOU GOTTA GET OFF THAT INK
AND PAPER DIET, BABE.
IT'S SPO-HO-HO-HO-HOILING
YOUR CURVES.
♪
BREATH MINT!
I'LL PUT THIS FOOL
THROUGH THE SPIN CYCLE!
♪
MANY THANKS, GUNGA DIN.
YA KNOW, YOU GUYS
OUGHT TO REALLY TRY
THESE X-RAY GLASSES
I PICKED UP FROM AN AD
BACK ON PAGE FIVE.
OH!
YOU CAN SEE THE BONES!
AND THAT'S NOT ALL!
HUBBA, HUBBA!
WAIT! THE GREEN ONE
COULD BE OF USE TO US.
HE MAY LEAD US
TO THE GALACTIC AVENGER!
HEY!
KEEP ME OUT
OF YOUR STORYLINE, HUH?
CARUMBA!
I'VE JUST SAID
A BUBBLE-FULL.
ARGH!
AFTER HIM!
THE GREEN-HEADED ONE
MUST...
♪
B IS FOR BUH-BYE!
NO, HE MUSTN'T ESCAPE!
♪
CAN'T FORGET
THE NERD BOY'S PRIZE.
YOU CANNOT
ESCAPE US.
♪
♪
SUPER MONKEY
MOVIE MARATHON?
WELL, I'VE JUST
GOTTA, GOTTA,
GOTTA, GOTTA
BE THERE!
♪
WHAT IS THIS
STRANGE DRY PLACE?
MY SYSTEMS SURVEY
THIS ONE-SUN WORLD
AS A MATCH FOR
THE GALACTIC AVENGER'S
HOME PLANET!
WE MUST
WREAK OUR REVENGE!
BUT WHERE TO FIND HIM?
THE GREEN ONE
WILL TELL US!
♪
HEY!
3D!
WE SEEK THE GREEN ONE!
WHAT A RIP!
YOU AREN'T SUPER MONKEYS!
YOU'RE THOSE DEADBEATS
FROM THE COMIC BOOK!
PARTNERS, WE DON'T PARTICULARLY
CARE FOR BAD DRAWINGS
IN THESE HERE PARTS.
NOW, I DON'T KNOW
HOW IT HAPPENED EXACTLY,
BUT I'LL SAY IT'S BEST
YA'LL MOSEY ON BACK
INTO THE KID'S FUNNYBOOK
WHERE YOU ALL BELONG,
OR I AIN'T JUST
GONNA DRAW YA,
I'MA GONNA RUB YOU OUT.
YOUR WEAPONS
DO NOT FRIGHTEN US,
SILLY GREEN MAN.
OUR POWERS
WILL EASILY DESTROY YOU!
OH, PLEASE!
NOT THAT!
NOT THE DREADED INK STAIN
OR THE EVIL PAPER CUT!
♪
SOLID!
WHOA! JUMPING OUT OF THAT COMIC
HAS SURE PUT SOME MEAT
ON YOUR BONES, JUNIOR.
WHICH IN YOUR CASE,
IS A GOOD THING!
♪
SMOKIN'!
♪
NOTHIN' LIKE
A WARM HOT TUB
TO LOOSEN UP
THE MUSCLES.
YOU'RE IN HOT WATER NOW!
BET YOU'RE
A BED WETTER , HUH?
TELL US WHERE
THE AVENGER IS,
YOU INSIGNIFICANT PEST!
INSIGNIFICANT?
SO, I'M NOT
SUPERHERO ENOUGH
FOR YOU, HUH?
I, PROFESSOR LATEX,
BESEECH YOU
TO RETURN
TO YOUR WORLD.
WHO IS THIS STRANGE BEING?
AND WHY
DOES HE CALL THAT BOOK
OUR WORLD?
VERY WELL.
PREPARE
TO BE JOLLY-STOMPED!
ATTACK, MY LATEX MEN!
I AM BICLOPS!
FEEL MY TEEN MUTANT-X!
♪
I THINK I NEED
A STRONGER PRESCRIPTION.
TOUGH GUY, HUH?
I'M TOOLVERINE,
AND I'VE TRASHED
SPACE SCUM LIKE YOU
IN TWENTY QUADRANTS!
♪
THAT OUGHTA
LIGHTEN YOUR LOAD, TIN MAN.
♪
LOOK!
UP IN THE SKY!
IT'S A BIRD!
IT'S A PLANE!
THE MASK?
NO!
IT IS SUPER SALAD MAN!
SUPER SALAD MAN,
I'M REPORTER
LOIS LANEVILLE
OF THE DAILY DUMP.
WHAT IS YOUR MISSION
HERE ON EARTH?
TO KEEP A LOW PROFILE
AS MILD-MANNERED,
ALL-AROUND MEEK GUY,
AND PROFESSIONAL MENTOR,
CLARK BAR.
OH YEAH,
THE GLASSES REALLY FOOL ME.
TO RECRUIT JUSTICE
AND A DELICIOUS APPETIZER,
BE IT SOUP OR SALAD,
BEFORE EVERY MEAL,
AND TO WASH IT
ALL DOWN
WITH A REALLY SMART BEVERAGE.
♪
AH!
COOL AND REFRESHING, NO?
LIKE MOUNTAIN SPRING
WATER!
♪
NO VESSEL
CAN CONTAIN ME!
♪
THAT COMIC-SNATCHING
GUTTER RAT'S
LAYING LOW
BECAUSE HE KNOWS ME BY SIGHT.
WE'VE GOT TO GET
THE UPPER HAND.
ANY IDEAS, DOYLE?
DOYLE?
I HAVE ALWAYS
WANTED TO MEET YOU, ZOBAR,
BUT PLANET MIKA
IS SO FAR AWAY,
SO, YOU KNOW...
DOYLE, HE'S NOT ZOBAR!
HE'S A GUY
IN A STUPID...
HEY, ARE YOU THINKIN'
WHAT I'M THINKIN'?
IT'S TIME FOR THAT
ICE CREAM NOW?
NO!
THIS IS THE PERFECT PLACE
TO GO UNDERCOVER!
♪
I AM SPIDER-HINEY!
I KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE THINKING,
"GOTTA CUT DOWN
ON THE SNACK FOODS,"
BUT CHECK IT OUT!
♪
HA!
LET'S SEE A TICK
OR AN EARTHWORM DO THAT!
UH-OH.
MY HINEY SENSE
IS TINGLING.
MM, I LOVE
WHEN THAT HAPPENS!
FOR THE LAST TIME,
TELL US WHERE
WE CAN FIND
THE GALACTIC AVENGER!
BETTER GET A PENCIL.
GO PAST
SNOOPY'S DOGHOUSE,
AND HANG A LEFT
AT BEETLE BAILEY'S BUNKER.
IT'S NEXT DOOR
TO MARY WORTH'S PLACE.
YOU CAN'T MISS IT!
THE GALACTIC AVENGER
DOESN'T EXIST, COMPRENDE?
JUST LIKE YOU DON'T EXIST!
YOU'RE MAKE-BELIEVE!
YOU'RE NOTHING BUT
A FANBOY FANTASY
FROM SOME ARTIST'S PEN!
YOU GET IT?
YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE!
LOOK! LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK,
LOOK, LOOK ALL YOU WANT!
YOU'RE NEVER GONNA
FIND YOUR GUY!
HE AIN'T REAL!
HELLO!
MY INFRA-VISION
DETECTS SOMETHING.
LET US COMMENCE!
HEY!
WHAT'S THE IN-FLIGHT MOVIE?
♪
MR. GALACTIC AVENGER!
I'VE GOT TO GET
HIS AUTOGRAPH!
PLEASE, PLEASE,
PLEASE, PLEASE!
YOU SURE ARE
POPULAR WITH THE FANS,
LIEUTEN--UM,
MR. AVENGER.
PICKED A GOOD
DISGUISE, HUH?
DOYLE, THE IDEA WAS
TO GO UNDERCOVER,
NOT BECOME
A GEEK MAGNET!
GALACTIC AVENGER,
HOW DID YOU
REALLY ESCAPE
FROM THE SUFFERING SEVEN
IN ISSUE 46?
DON'T DROOL SO MUCH, KID.
YOU'LL DEHYDRATE.
OH, I KNOW!
ASK ME!
NEVER MIND THAT, DOYLE!
JUST GET ME
OUT OF THIS STUPID COSTUME
BEFORE ANYMORE IDIOTS
SHOW UP!
HUH?
WHOA!
WE MEET AGAIN, AVENGER!
ONLY, THIS TIME
WILL BE THE LAST.
♪
I, THE GREEN SURFER,
SHALL TEACH THOSE POSERS
THE RIGHTEOUS CONCEPT
OF CHILLING OUT!
♪
OH MAN,
SUPERVILLAIN DUDES BAILED ON ME!
YEAH!
GO GET HIM!
GET HIM!
GET HIM!
SHOW HIM WHO'S BOSS!
USE YOUR
BIZARREY DEATH GRIP,
LIEUTEN--UH, AVENGER!
DOYLE, SLAP THE CUFFS
ON THE OTHER TWO
WHILE I TAKE CARE
OF LUNCHBOX HERE!
♪
I DON'T THINK
THAT'S GONNA BE POSSIBLE,
LIEUTEN--UH, AVENGER!
YOU BOZOS
ARE UNDER ARREST!
♪
AW!
AW!
LOSER.
THIS IS THE ALL-POWERFUL
GALACTIC AVENGER?
HE IS SOFT AND WEAK.
YOU KNOW, LIEUTENANT,
I THINK
THESE PARTICULAR GUYS
ARE FOR REAL.
THAT MAY
BE THE CASE, DOYLE,
BUT THAT'S NOT
GONNA STOP ME
FROM TAKING A PIECE
OF THEM WITH ME!
HUH?
WAIT!
YOU GUYS
JUST DON'T GET IT, DO YA?
THE MASK!
I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN
HE'D BE IN CAHOOTS
WITH THESE
MUTANT DIRTBAGS!
THIS IS A FLAT-FOOT!
A COP!
A POLICEMAN!
A PANSER!
A G-MAN!
FROM THE POLICE PLANET,
ALDERON!
WHERE WE WERE
IMPRISONED FOR EONS, CORRECT!
TIME TO TAKE YOU
TO A WATERY GRAVE!
♪
ALL RIGHT,
ASKING NICELY DIDN'T WORK
AND NEITHER
DID BRUTE FORCE.
SO, I'M JUST
GONNA HAVE TO GIVE YOU
YOUR JUST DESSERTS!
♪
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
ANYONE FOR
AN ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED
GELATIN SNACK?
RIPTIDE CAN'T BE DESTROYED
WITH GELATIN MIX!
AS IF THEY
DIDN'T TRY THAT
IN GALACTIC AVENGER NUMBER 34.
DOYLE, PUT A SOCK IN IT!
TO DESTROY RIPTIDE,
YOU HAVE TO USE
QUICK-DRY CEMENT.
♪
THANK YOU ALL
FOR THIS HONOR!
GOOD WORK, HUBBY.
YOU STILL THINK
I SHOULD
PUT A SOCK IN IT,
LIEUTENANT?
UH, WELL, THAT WAS
REAL FANCY, DOYLE,
BUT LIKE WE SAY
DOWN AT THE PRECINCT,
THERE'S NOTHING LIKE
A GOOD OLD-FASHIONED
DONNYBROOK!
NO, NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO, NO.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST
GO TO YOUR PAJAMA PARTY,
AND LEAVE THIS
TO THE PROFESSIONALS, EH?
♪
OKAY!
WHAT DO I DO?
UH, WELL, YOU KNOW,
AS I REMEMBER,
IN ISSUE TWO,
WARMACHINE CAN ONLY
BE DESTROYED
BY QUASAR,
GALACTIC AVENGER'S
SPACE-DOG SIDEKICK.
UNO MOMENTO POR FAVOR.
QUASAR!
YOU'RE NEEDED IN ACTION!
♪
COME ON, BOY!
IT'S YOUR TURN
TO BE THE HERO!
♪
OH NO! THERE'S A MARK
AND A CREASE!
OH WELL, I GUESS
IT COULD BE WORSE.
TIME TO MEET YOUR DOOM,
GALACTIC AVENGER!
♪
HEY!
♪
QUASAR, FIND
THE DOGGY DOOR!
♪
ALERT, ALERT!
DANGER!
DAN-DANGER!
FAILING MODE!
LONG LIVE ROCK!
DAISY, DAISY,
HERE WE GO...
YES!
WHO'S THE BEST SPACE-DOG?
YOU!
COME ON, MILO.
GET OFF!
YOUR FRIENDS
MAY HAVE DESTROYED
RIPTIDE AND WARMACHINE,
BUT THE PLEASURE
OF DESTROYING YOU
IS ALL MINE!
♪
YOU'VE GOT
A SCREW LOOSE, SISTER,
BUT YOU'RE LOOKING
AT THE SCREWDRIVER
OF JUSTICE!
OW! OW, OW, OW, OW, OW,
OW, OW, OW, OW, OW!
♪
OH, GREAT SEER!
GIVE US YOUR
ANCIENT WISDOM,
SO THAT WE CAN DESTROY
THE LAST FOUL VILLAIN!
OKAY, LET ME THINK.
DRAGON LADY'S DESTROYED
BY THE...
OH, WEEZILS...UM, OH!
SHE'S DESTROYED
BY THE COMIC MANICURE!
NO, THAT'S NOT...
OH, MUTANT EGGPLANT!
NO.
OR WAS IT THE TIME
THAT SHE WAS WAXED
BY THE GUY
FROM ALPHA CENTARI...
THAT'S IT!
THE SPACE TOAD CHEESE
WILL DESTROY HER!
♪
YODEL-AY-EE-OOOO!
♪
OOPS, THAT WAS THE THING
THAT BROUGHT 'EM
BACK TO LIFE
MORE POWERFUL THAN EVER!
GOSH, I FEEL LIKE
SUCH A BAD FAN!
DOYLE!
NOW, WE SHALL PUT AN END
TO ALL OF YOU
ONCE AND FOR ALL!
IT'S A LONG SHOT,
BUT IT'S WORTH A TRY,
EVEN IF STANLEY'S
REALLY GONNA
HATE ME FOR IT
IN THE MORNING.
NO!
NOT GALACTIC AVENGER
NUMBER ONE!
NO!
♪
GONE-CITY!
YEAH, GONE-CITY.
AW, NOTHING A LITTLE TAPE
AND A COUPLE OF PAPERCLIPS
WON'T FIX.
COME ON, DOYLE.
LET'S GET THAT ICE CREAM.
♪
POOR STANLEY.
♪
MY LIFE SAVINGS
FOR A PILE OF CONFETTI!
SPECIAL DELIVERY!
THANKS, MILO.
NOW, WHAT ON EARTH
COULD THIS BE?
I'M DREAMING!
OH, IT CAN'T BE!
DEAR STANLEY,
COME TO FIND OUT
I FOUND MY COPY
OF GALACTIC AVENGER
IN MY MOM'S CLOSET
LAST NIGHT,
AND I WANT YOU
TO HAVE IT.
A SYMPATHETIC FAN,
DOYLE.
AW!
WHAT A GREAT GUY!
NOW, I CAN FINALLY
FIND OUT HOW
THE GALACTIC AVENGER
DEFEATED
THE DARK STAR TRIO!
NO.
NO, IT CAN'T BE!
IT'S...
IT'S...
IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!
SMOKIN'!
♪