The Magicians (2015–…): Season 3, Episode 10 - The Art of the Deal - full transcript
Quentin and Alice search the castle for an important object while Julia and Fen work with an enemy.
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- Previously on
"The Magicians"...
- I'm a librarian.
Currently on the lam from
a billion year contract.
Sylvia, what'd you do?
- I'm sorry.
- Just let me see it again.
- No.
Not till you tell me what you
were doing in the Library.
- I'm stuck in the Fairy Realm.
How can I see you?
- Let's you see into
other worlds, it's rad.
- You're the absolute
worst rulers
Fillory has ever had.
- Honey, you don't
have to listen to Tick.
You can just do your own thing.
Turn around, head home,
relax, whatevs.
- It's the excretion of
a very rare magical creature.
- This magic.
I mean, it looks different.
It feels different.
- Oh, God,
they cut off her leg.
- You clean their homes.
You cook their food.
And they take your leg
and grind it into powder
to snort so they can do
magic tricks.
I wanna help you
get out of here.
[necklaces flutters]
The necklace.
It kills them
when they use magic.
[phone line ringing]
- So you're just okay
with letting Kady
take the Fifth Key, huh?
- I'm not letting her
do anything.
- But when I ask you about
the book, you freak out.
- Hey, Kady, I...
- Please leave a message
at the tone.
[line beeps]
- Hey, uh, it's Quentin.
Call me back, please.
Look, she probably
took it because...
- Because you trust a heroin
addict more than you trust me.
- At least I know
what Kady wants.
- What does that mean?
- She wants to talk to Penny.
But you, I don't...
First, you don't wanna help us
with the Quest.
Then, suddenly,
you want magic so badly
that you nearly
kill yourself.
- That's not fair.
None of that is fair.
- Okay, well, then what is it?
Do you...
Are you with us?
Do you want magic back?
- Of course I want magic.
- Okay, well,
then what changed?
Why now?
- As opposed to when, huh?
When you asked me
if I wanted to go on a Quest
five minutes
after my dad died?
Would you be ready
to go on a fucking adventure?
- Alice, I'm just...
- You know, and are you the
only one who's allowed to be
ambivalent and depressive and...
And scared
and hate themselves?
But I just have
to be sure of everything, huh?
Fuck you, Quentin.
- Uh, s... sorry.
I was just trying
to get through.
Sorry.
- We can fight about this
after the Quest.
Just let me see
the stupid book.
- Whoa.
- There's something
she's not telling me.
- You really think it was a
good idea to give her the book?
- I don't know.
She helped us
with the last key.
And we're probably gonna need
her for the next one, so...
[solemn music]
The book says that
the Sixth Key is
in the Throne Room
at Whitespire.
- Oh, shit.
Wait, that's where
Margo and Eliot...
- Just got overthrown
violently?
Yeah.
Oh.
[sighs]
I need an aspirin.
Whoa.
Thank you.
- [chuckles]
- I'll never take magic
for granted again.
- [chuckles] Yeah.
Me neither.
Uh, look,
there's something I have to
finish here before I can leave.
I can't go knowing
that the fairies are...
- Jules, do what you gotta do.
Just be careful,
okay?
- You too.
Okay, so Skye's telling the
others what happened to her.
And that we wanna
help them escape.
But that can't happen until
we get their necklaces off.
- Oh.
[laughs]
There's an emoji of a dagger.
Todd was right, this truly is
the universal language.
- I need you to focus.
I can't find anything
on these necklaces,
and I need to know
how they work.
- Can't you see I'm busy?
- Fen.
Look, I know what the fairies
did to you in Fillory
was fucked up.
And I'm sorry about that, but...
- Yeah...
[cell phone beeps]
That's my response.
[cell phone dings]
- Is that a gif of a crab
with a knife?
- It's how I feel.
Is it "gif" or "jif?"
- Please.
I need your help.
- Fairies just
make my skin crawl.
- Okay, and how does
slavery make you feel?
- So what you're saying is
that you want a fairy necklace
to examine?
- Yes.
One that isn't already attached
to a fairy's neck.
- Fine, but don't
expect me to pretend
like I don't
hate fairies.
- You don't have to.
We know about your fairies.
There's one
standing right there.
[whimsical music]
Fen's family had
a problem with them,
so I'm trying to help fix it.
- I hate them.
Their black eyes.
Their long fingers.
Their mushrooms.
- Mushrooms?
- They make the air thick
and musty,
like a bear's undercarriage.
- And what was the deal that
you made with these fairies?
- Oh, I didn't make a deal.
One was made for me by...
- By her family.
[clears throat]
See, uh, they were tricked.
- Interesting.
And here I thought that
the fairies under my protection
were the last of their kind.
- [sighs]
I wish.
They're everywhere in Fil...
- Fillmore.
Fillmore.
It's, um... it's a small farming
town in the Midwest.
- And what about you, Julia?
How is it that you
can see them?
- I made a deal
with a younger fairy.
Visibility for a Snickers bar.
- And just how young was
this fairy?
- I don't know, actually.
Still trying to catch one.
Which... which is
why we wanted to ask you,
how are the ones here,
you know, so docile?
- Well, I assume that you've
noticed that, uh,
all of my fairies have
this silver collar.
- You mean, their necklace?
- [chuckles]
Necklaces, yeah.
They are cute, aren't they?
They're to help keep things
from getting out of control.
You'll need one.
You can get it
from my Uncle Edwin.
But I'm gonna need
something in return.
- Of course.
If your rash is back...
- I'll need you
to bring me a fairy.
[whimsical music]
- [exhales deeply]
- Penny, during orientation,
weren't you trained on
how to properly re-shelve?
- We got a billion years,
Howard.
Just keeping shit interesting.
- So, uh, Penny.
My book club is looking
for new members.
Interesting people.
And I thought of you.
- Why?
'Cause I'm brown?
And shackled?
You know this looks bad
for the Library, right?
- Oh, no.
We are not...
We shackle people of
all races and colors here.
- Not better, Howard.
- What I meant was...
I read your book.
- The hell?
- I had unresolved feelings
about my death
and your hand in it.
- You killed yourself.
- Am I misremembering
the part where you handed me
the cursed book
that directly led to that?
So the least you can do is
join my book club.
Kathy always brings cupcakes.
They're amazing.
- Fuck off, Howard.
- Participation helps ease
the transition, Penny.
Give it a think.
- Fasten it around the neck
to activate it.
Then it will instantly kill
a fairy if they use magic.
Should deter them
from even trying.
Of course, you have to actually
catch a fairy first.
- Oh, I'm sure I'll figure
something out.
So, how does it work?
I mean, what's it powered by?
Considering there's...
- That would be
a family secret.
- Okay.
Uh, but...
once it's on,
how will I know it's secure?
Has a fairy ever
broken out of one?
- [snickers]
Dust.
This is Dust.
I've had him since
I was 16.
But he's been in
the family much longer.
How long?
- Over 400 years, sir.
- He may not look it,
but he's our oldest Fairy.
Tell Irene her guest
has a collar.
- Yes, sir.
- There's really only one way
to take them off.
I have a machine that does it.
So don't worry, they're secure.
- Great.
[snaps case shut]
Thank you so much
for all your help.
[ominous music]
- Today is not my day.
- I get that you're mad, okay?
But just hear me out.
- You turned me in, Sylvia.
- Look, when magic went out,
shit got really bad up there
for my family, okay?
My... my brothers,
my... my uncles, my dad,
they all got whacked.
- And went where?
To the Underworld?
Where you are?
All my people are up there,
Sylvia.
I can't travel,
I can't astral project,
I can't do shit
'cause of you.
- My family isn't
in the Underworld, Penny.
They moved on.
- To where?
- I mean,
I'm not sure.
The Underworld is just
a way station, really.
You hang around for a bit,
and then
the bureaucracies that be
move you on.
But I don't know what
or where that is.
- So your family just left you?
- Yeah, Dad's always
sucked at waiting,
so he pulled some strings
and cut the line.
But these contracts that we
sign with the Library
are fucking ironclad,
so I can't go anywhere
until I finish
my billion years.
When the Library
put a bounty on you,
it brought me a million years
closer to my family, Penny.
And I'm sorry.
I know that
that doesn't fix anything...
- Yeah, you're right.
It fixes shit.
- I spoke to a few
of the others.
They don't believe me.
If I hadn't done the magic,
if I hadn't felt what happened,
I don't think I would
believe me either.
- Okay, Skye.
You've got to keep trying.
- How?
What should I say?
- Look, I don't know,
but I found a way
to take off the collars.
Edwin's got a machine
in the Lab.
- It won't matter.
They're scared.
The thought of escape is
like a death wish.
But...
there is one more thing.
Several of Ms. Irene's family
have arrived.
Many of them brought
their fairies.
- To Brakebills?
Why?
- I don't know.
- Skye.
- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
- [exhales deeply]
- If Skye can't convince them
to run, what are we gonna do?
- We introduce them
to someone scarier.
[whimsical music]
- I'm on a flying boat!
- Okay, so the Sixth Key
is in the Throne Room?
Where Tick's waiting
with a serrated spoon
to just saw off our heads?
- Tick isn't at Whitespire,
though.
He's up north, near Loria.
- The Throne Room is empty,
but we need to move fast.
So the book says
that the Sixth Key
will only reveal itself in
the light of two half moons,
which is a thing
that happens in Fillory.
- Like two black and white
cookies split apart
to form one giant white cookie.
A cookie moon.
- Mm-hmm.
Uh, anyway,
so it... it's gonna be
super bright,
um, and it happens tonight,
so...
- Wait, why is Tick up near
Loria?
- Fillory's at war.
- What?
- The fuck?
- I know, we are
literally Questing
through a war-torn country.
So epic.
- And who exactly
are we at war with?
- The Lorians and the Floaters.
- Yeah, we heard about it when
we were passing through town.
- That cock's High King
for three seconds
and it all goes
to shit.
- I need to send
a Bunny to Idri.
- Yeah, I'll send one
to that Stone bitch.
- Wait, what about the key?
- Q, you just told us,
Fillory is being spit-roasted
by invading forces.
Without us.
- Okay, can I say
something obvious,
yet potentially controversial?
We are no longer the Kings
and Queens of Fillory.
- Says who?
- Fillory,
when they overthrew you.
- Mm...
- Well, they were misguided,
and scared,
and they needed scapegoats.
At some point, you either have
to choose to follow through
on something, or just,
well,
die.
- Look, we chose this.
You captain the Key Quest,
Coldwater,
and we'll stop war.
- Ooh, ooh, can you drop us off
at Whitespire
after it gets dark?
They have that balcony.
We could just rappel down
into the Throne Room.
It would be dope.
- Get ready to tuck and roll,
bitches,
.
- Yes, once fairies
lived on Earth.
But not in hundreds of years.
Not since we fled to Fillory
because human Magicians
nearly hunted us
into extinction.
- I had no idea.
- Of course not.
Short memory is a privilege
of the oppressor.
[ominous music]
- I'm sorry.
- So you'll understand
my disbelief then
when a human tries
to lure me to Earth
with tales of a lost tribe
that can't exist.
- But they're not...
- I've heard enough.
- Wait.
You're not listening.
- I'd rather remove
your tongue.
Maybe your teeth.
You choose.
- Go ahead.
You have already taken
so much from me.
What's a few teeth?
- You've got two sentences.
Choose wisely.
- I hate fairies.
So why would I come here, to
a place where you stole my toes
and I lost my child,
if it wasn't true?
- Then why would you
do this for me?
- It's not for you.
It's for them.
- They're still fairies.
- But they're nothing like you.
They're more like
traumatized children.
And as a mother,
despite what you did to me,
they deserve a chance to live.
So get off your...
whatever it is fairies
have for rear butts,
and do something.
They need their Queen.
[chain rattling]
[ominous music]
- [sighs]
- [sobbing]
- What part of the Library
is "Secrets Taken
to the Grave"?
- Oh, so now you're
talking to me?
I'm... I'm kidding.
Chill.
Uh, it's some weird
research division
that the Library made
in partnership with the people
who run the Underworld.
Librarians like us aren't even
allowed to go in there.
- [sobbing]
- What the hell do they do
to these people?
- Oh, it's like primal therapy
for people who are
about to move on.
You go and unload your bullshit
and it lightens your
conscience.
I'm sure my dad's
was a nightmare.
- This is all part of that
"Underworld is
a way station" shit?
- Yeah, they, like, jot down
everything of note,
and then at the end you get
a metro card out of here.
- You're telling me there's a
subway out of the Underworld?
- Well, it's more like
this giant, long,
pig-type creature that you,
like, climb into,
and then it takes you
wherever you need to go next.
- Why the hell
are we still here?
Why haven't we hijacked
that long pig?
- Because it only shows up when
somebody has a metro card
and is ready to move on.
[woman continues sobbing]
- Our contracts will
never let us move on.
- Nobody's ever gonna give us
metro cards, Penny.
Not like them.
- Okay, so in this chapter
the Daughter,
she finally becomes the Knight
that she set out to be,
and right after she's knighted,
her shield catches a moonbeam
and it reflects it back.
[glass shatters]
- What're you doing?
- Guys, guys.
Reminder, there are still
guards patrolling around, so...
- The book says the moonlight
has to hit three keystones
to reveal the key.
There's three doors,
three keystones,
and none of them
are near a window.
- Okay, so we set up
some mirrors,
and bounce around
some moonlight,
and then we're back
on track?
Enjoying the Quest?
- Yeah, if that's
what the book says.
- You know it does.
- Hey.
Look, it's a perfect metaphor
for your relationship.
[chuckles]
Not ready to laugh...
yet, that's fine.
- You want me to put on
a slave collar?
- It's the only way we can get
you in direct contact
with Irene's fairies.
- Or I could just cut off all
the McAllistairs' heads.
- For all we know,
the McAllistairs
can trigger
the collars remotely.
And just like that...
[snaps fingers]...
Every collared fairy
will be dead.
We need to be stealth.
Smart.
- Tell me,
what's smart about rendering
myself defenseless
and then entrusting my life
to a powerless Magician?
[foreboding music]
You're god-touched.
- That's one way to put it.
But it also means
I can protect you.
- It doesn't mean
that I trust you.
- I get it.
For good reason.
Why would you trust
any human on Earth?
But Fen and I
are risking our lives.
So we need you to trust us.
- Or don't.
And we can just do this
on our own.
Without you.
- She's right.
I'm not sure how,
but we will find a way.
- What is it that you want
from us?
- Not sure I understand.
- She's healing
a mother's wound, but you...
Why go so far, Julia?
- Let's just say being
god-touched is a mixed bag.
But I choose
to do something with that.
It means something.
Helping those fairies,
saving them, with you.
And this collar.
- [sighs]
.
- She really is stunning.
How many more of them
are there?
- Hard to say, really.
They're not all that friendly.
- And where did you say
your friend is from again?
- The Midwest.
- No, I mean what town is she...
[cell phone rings]
Huh, excuse me.
- Fairly well-behaved,
actually,
considering she's feral.
- Guess I got lucky, huh?
- Uh, that's a much faster
turnaround than we agreed on.
[snaps fingers]
You know what,
it'll be a push,
but I think I can get it
to you all by then.
The others will take some
convincing...
- Looks like we're working
through dinner.
You know what to do with her.
- ...especially if
time is against us.
My apologies, I'm having
family over for dinner.
But we'll talk later?
About the other fairies?
- Of course.
[cell phone vibrating]
- [whispering]
Shit.
- It's true.
What Julia said.
You're real.
You're a queen.
She's a queen.
Of the free fairies.
[breathing heavily]
- Never bow your head.
For anyone.
- Collar breaker,
collar breaker,
where are you?
[footsteps rustling]
[light bulbs buzzing]
- Ready the chair.
I need to check the equipment.
- Yes, sir.
- [speaking Hebrew]
[magic chimes]
- They're saying they want
everything.
Our entire supply.
- Look, I know that it
sounds risky,
but there is a limited time
to this offer.
If we don't...
- Risky? No.
Reckless.
Leave us.
- Though we've been separated
by time and great distance,
we are the same.
We are spun
from divine inspiration.
Blessed.
We are the living
embodiment of magic.
- I may have secured
a new source.
- Of fairies?
How?
- Ask Edwin.
He's seen her.
- So I've come to restore
your strength.
To help you understand
the glory of who you are.
Your suffering is my suffering.
Your injustice, mine.
- Where is Edwin?
- Edwin?
Edwin is working.
- And when we
are finally free,
we are gonna hunt down every
last living slaver,
gouge out their eyes,
cut out their tongues,
and hang them
by their own entrails.
- You may feel a pinch,
but if you relax,
it'll be brief.
.
- You want us to pull back
our advancements on Fillory?
- This is ridiculous.
- All we're really asking is
that we pause the invasion.
- You both know that
the only reason Eliot and I
are in this mess is because
of fairy meddling bullshit.
- And as soon as we clear this
up with the people of Fillory...
- Deposed rulers don't get
their thrones back.
They exile themselves.
Or die at the hands
of the mob.
- Is this how you talk
to all your allies?
- Allies?
My dear, I have yet to see any
proof that your marriage
to my son was ever
even consummated.
- I made his little life
flash before his eyes.
- Are you sure that wasn't
from the toad bite?
- You saw it?
- Of course I did.
I'm his mother.
- Wow, that's a lot to process.
- In any case, I have no faith
in either of you
reclaiming your thrones.
We will continue
our advancement on Fillory.
- I'm afraid Loria declines
as well.
With magic gone, Loria has
the advantage over Fillory.
It makes no sense to withdraw
when I know we'll succeed.
I have to do what's best
for my people.
- And what about
our engagement?
- You're no longer king, Eliot.
So it's no longer valid.
- King Idri, are you saying you
have yet to take a husband?
My son's marble has
yet to be polished.
- You mossy, pimping bitch.
- Will you excuse us
for two seconds?
As much as I would love to roll
your smother-in-law
off our boat, it won't prevent
either one of them
from invading Fillory.
- We need to split those two up
before your man's arranged
to marry my child bride.
- And our best plan is...
- We offer them magic.
[ominous music]
- What the...
[door clanks open]
- [breathing heavily]
- Fen!
- I just watched him
help kill a fairy.
And there isn't a machine
that removes their collars,
just a machine that
removes their heads.
- What?
- All right, we just need to
figure something out.
- There's nothing.
Fairy deals cannot be broken.
- Wait, the magic that
controls the collars,
they're fairy deals?
Edwin said you're
the oldest of the fairies.
Does that mean that you were
the one who made the deal?
- Yes.
- [gasps]
How could you do that
to your own people?
- Hundreds of years ago,
Magicians had hunted us
out of existence nearly.
Then my Queen found
passage to a new world.
Several of us volunteered to
bind ourselves to the collars
and the McAllistairs.
A deal that would keep them
from following.
We thought we'd sacrifice
the few for the many.
But as my generation died,
and younger generations
were born into this life,
I lost faith
in that sacrifice.
Or in the belief that my Queen
had made it to the other side.
- She did.
My mother, your Queen,
led us to Fillory,
where I was born.
And we were able
to create a home there.
All because of your sacrifice.
- You never should have come.
Because now you can
never go back.
- There is a way to break
a fairy deal, isn't there?
- It doesn't matter.
- Doesn't matter?
Of course it does.
- I will not do it.
Our deals are the foundation
of our culture
and key to our survival.
- You are their Queen.
You came here to save them.
If you don't, what's the point?
- Fairies are known
for honoring their deals.
When we break them,
we lose the people's trust
and our limited leverage,
which we need for survival.
Without that,
we are weak and vulnerable.
It would be better
for all of us
for me to take it
to the grave.
- Which will be soon enough!
Against the wall.
Dust, we're on a schedule.
[solemn music]
- Do not go with him.
- What did I just say?
- I won't let you do this.
[magic thunders]
- I do not have time for this.
- [whimpering]
[screams]
Stop!
No!
[tense music]
[screaming]
[gash gurgles]
[spell sizzles]
- What the fuck?
[groaning]
[heavy thuds]
Ah!
- You guarantee that this is
the best decision
for our family?
- I guarantee it.
- Do not make me
regret my decision, Irene.
- Oh, Vincent, when have I ever
steered this family wrong?
[laughter]
- Cheers.
- To us. To a new future.
- Cheers.
- Oh.
[chuckles]
[screaming,
frightened chatter]
Ahh!
[screaming]
[screams]
[whimpering]
[grunts]
.
- [breathing heavily]
[ominous music]
[sobbing]
[gasps]
- Shit.
It seems like those Secrets
dicks really made you earn it.
Any idea where you're going now
that you're moving on?
- No, they, uh...
They didn't really say.
- Well, who'd you talk to?
Was it Fran?
Oh, she's...
She's the one that just got
those two lazy eyes and...
Never really know
which one to focus on
'cause they're both moving.
[laughs]
- I... I had, uh...
I couldn't really see
his face under his hood,
but he had...
He had glowing red eyes.
- Oh.
- What... what does that mean?
- Oh, you must have done some
horrible shit in your time.
- Wait, wait, uh,
whe... where am I going?
Is it hell?
- If only.
At least hell is warm.
- There's a place
worse than hell?
- Oh, and way more creative
with what they plug
all of your
openings up with.
- [stammers]
I'm not ready.
I'm not ready to go anywhere.
- [chuckles]
[magic whooshes]
- Hello, Penny.
Let's chat.
[tense piano music]
- I've missed this.
But it doesn't change anything.
- You know what Margo's
doing right now?
She's convincing
the Stone Queen
that we'll get
magic back.
Because we will.
And she's threatening her
with it.
- If I'm lying,
invade later and kill me.
But if I'm not,
do you really wanna fight
righteously pissed off
Magicians who can finger-blast
your entire army
into fucking compost?
- And is that your
strategy as well?
To threaten me?
- I'd be well within my rights,
given that your army is
about to attack us.
But no,
I'm not threatening you.
I am promising you...
- What exactly?
- On the off chance
this is true,
what're your plans for taking
back control of the thrones?
- Once we give back
magic to the people,
we won't have to take anything.
Hell, they'll be begging us
to take back our thrones.
- Our Magicians can identify
anyone with magical talent.
And it's likely that many of
your people have it
without the education
to know it.
So we'll educate them.
Soon you could have magic
as powerful as ours.
- I usually like to keep
a certain amount of distance
between myself
and the residents,
but you are just
so fucking fascinating.
- What?
- I've never seen anyone fight
their destiny so hard
while simultaneously propelling
themselves towards it.
I mean, you narrowly
escaped death.
Twice.
And then still snuck
into the Underworld.
Who does that?
- Yeah, I still have
no idea who you are.
- Hades.
- [chuckles]
Hades.
Like the god?
- Shh.
I told you, low profile.
- Okay, so what the hell are
you doing talking to me?
Look, is this about the metro...
- No, it's not about that.
It's much more big picture.
Let's talk about your future
as a Librarian.
- Or not.
- This is about that Quest,
isn't it?
Let me tell you something
about that.
It doesn't matter.
- Easy for a god to say.
- Spoiler alert...
Magic always comes back.
It may take a millennia
and your entire species
verging on the brink
of extinction, but it will.
Because ultimately,
magic's a carrot gods use
to keep humans in check.
It's a lot to take in,
I know.
My point is,
your life as a human,
it's like your memories
before the age of three.
This Quest, your friends,
in a thousand years,
hazy at best.
Your life starts now,
after death.
And yes, I realize
the phrasing is confusing.
- Okay, what... what is this?
Is this some kind of
fucked up punishment
for stealing
a metro card?
- Hardly.
There are a lot of places
you could've ended up
that aren't nearly
as nice as the Underworld.
- Shackled to a trolley
re-shelving books?
- We're in the greatest Library
in the entire universe
with almost an eternity
to explore it.
And if you want the shackles
off, go to Howard.
- So I have to join a book club
to free myself?
- All anyone's offering you
is a chance to participate
and be part of something.
You've got that
whole loner thing,
but it's obviously a front.
Ever since that trip to
Savannah with your real mom,
you've been desperate
to prove your worth.
- Yeah, okay, you and everyone
else down here
that's read my book... what,
you just think you know me?
- But it's why you're always
sacrificing yourself
for people, right?
To remind them how important
you are to the group?
If you're that desperate to
move on and maybe somehow
fumble your way back
to your old life,
I won't stop you.
But I'm telling you, Penny,
if you stay down here,
you've got an amazing destiny
ahead of you.
.
- And that should be
the last keystone, right?
- I don't understand.
- Would you stop...
- You keep acting like
this is your book.
- Maybe 'cause I've been
on the Quest
for more than
two minutes...
- Guys, snoop-and-poop voices.
Please.
- You're hiding something
from me.
- Why don't you just ask me
what you wanna ask me?
- Guys, seriously, I just got
out of a fantasy prison,
and I don't wanna end up
in a real one.
- Are you working
for the Library?
- Yes.
- Surprisingly honest.
That's...
- Are you trying to stop us?
- No.
They wanna help us.
They want magic back
as badly as you do.
- Well, I find that a little
hard to believe,
given what they did to Harriett
and Victoria and Penny.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What about Victoria?
[ominous music]
- You're welcome.
Yeah, you boned me,
but you also saved my life.
And I left you alone
when I shouldn't have.
Christ, okay, just go see
your family alread...
- No, I... I don't...
I don't understand.
- What's to understand?
They helped me.
They wanna help us.
How is any of that bad?
- Sorry, are you smoking
right now?
I was stoked to go on this
Quest and hang with you guys,
but...
my ex is dead, and you two are
setting my ball hairs on end.
I need this.
I'm just glad I was a genius
who stashed high-end
party treats all over
while I was
Substitute High King.
- If the Library
wanted to help,
why hide it from me?
Why not just tell me?
- Because I know you.
And I know how you'd react.
And you did.
- Guys.
Guys.
Guys!
I know where the Sixth Key is.
- Where?
- I'm sorry that we couldn't
save more of your kind.
- Had it not been for you,
they'd all be dead.
I choose to be grateful.
- I won't tell anyone
about what you did tonight.
- It's too late.
There are consequences
to broken deals.
Our word will mean nothing.
- I'm sorry.
[solemn music]
- Of all the humans that
have ever sough me out,
you're the only one who didn't
do it for personal gain.
If more were like you,
we might have been
able to coexist.
- We still can.
We could at least try.
- You and your companions
are on a Quest, correct?
For seven keys?
- Yes.
- We have one of the keys
in the Fairy Realm.
But it's what created
and sustains
the Fairy Realm.
Without the key,
everything collapses,
which is why we can never
give it to you.
[ominous music]
- Howard.
[trolley rattles,
shackles clink]
What's your stupid
book club reading?
- [chuckles]
[rhythm and blues music]
[indistinct chatter]
- Gill and Stacey...
Greatest love story
ever written.
He's handsome and tough
and misunderstood,
but... but with a heart of gold.
And she is a driven woman
just trying to make it
in a man's world.
So good.
- I'm su... I'm sure it is.
- Penny, meet Kathy.
Kathy, Penny.
- Sup?
- He supped me.
It's just like
I always imagined.
- Penny, try one
of Kathy's cupcakes.
I promise you won't regret it.
- ♪ Nobody knows
- ♪ That's how it goes
- ♪ That's how it goes
- ♪ That's how it goes
- Nobody knows
- That's how it goes
- ♪ That's how it goes
- ♪ That's how it goes
- ♪ That's how it goes
- ♪ That's how it goes
- ♪ That's how it goes
---
- Previously on
"The Magicians"...
- I'm a librarian.
Currently on the lam from
a billion year contract.
Sylvia, what'd you do?
- I'm sorry.
- Just let me see it again.
- No.
Not till you tell me what you
were doing in the Library.
- I'm stuck in the Fairy Realm.
How can I see you?
- Let's you see into
other worlds, it's rad.
- You're the absolute
worst rulers
Fillory has ever had.
- Honey, you don't
have to listen to Tick.
You can just do your own thing.
Turn around, head home,
relax, whatevs.
- It's the excretion of
a very rare magical creature.
- This magic.
I mean, it looks different.
It feels different.
- Oh, God,
they cut off her leg.
- You clean their homes.
You cook their food.
And they take your leg
and grind it into powder
to snort so they can do
magic tricks.
I wanna help you
get out of here.
[necklaces flutters]
The necklace.
It kills them
when they use magic.
[phone line ringing]
- So you're just okay
with letting Kady
take the Fifth Key, huh?
- I'm not letting her
do anything.
- But when I ask you about
the book, you freak out.
- Hey, Kady, I...
- Please leave a message
at the tone.
[line beeps]
- Hey, uh, it's Quentin.
Call me back, please.
Look, she probably
took it because...
- Because you trust a heroin
addict more than you trust me.
- At least I know
what Kady wants.
- What does that mean?
- She wants to talk to Penny.
But you, I don't...
First, you don't wanna help us
with the Quest.
Then, suddenly,
you want magic so badly
that you nearly
kill yourself.
- That's not fair.
None of that is fair.
- Okay, well, then what is it?
Do you...
Are you with us?
Do you want magic back?
- Of course I want magic.
- Okay, well,
then what changed?
Why now?
- As opposed to when, huh?
When you asked me
if I wanted to go on a Quest
five minutes
after my dad died?
Would you be ready
to go on a fucking adventure?
- Alice, I'm just...
- You know, and are you the
only one who's allowed to be
ambivalent and depressive and...
And scared
and hate themselves?
But I just have
to be sure of everything, huh?
Fuck you, Quentin.
- Uh, s... sorry.
I was just trying
to get through.
Sorry.
- We can fight about this
after the Quest.
Just let me see
the stupid book.
- Whoa.
- There's something
she's not telling me.
- You really think it was a
good idea to give her the book?
- I don't know.
She helped us
with the last key.
And we're probably gonna need
her for the next one, so...
[solemn music]
The book says that
the Sixth Key is
in the Throne Room
at Whitespire.
- Oh, shit.
Wait, that's where
Margo and Eliot...
- Just got overthrown
violently?
Yeah.
Oh.
[sighs]
I need an aspirin.
Whoa.
Thank you.
- [chuckles]
- I'll never take magic
for granted again.
- [chuckles] Yeah.
Me neither.
Uh, look,
there's something I have to
finish here before I can leave.
I can't go knowing
that the fairies are...
- Jules, do what you gotta do.
Just be careful,
okay?
- You too.
Okay, so Skye's telling the
others what happened to her.
And that we wanna
help them escape.
But that can't happen until
we get their necklaces off.
- Oh.
[laughs]
There's an emoji of a dagger.
Todd was right, this truly is
the universal language.
- I need you to focus.
I can't find anything
on these necklaces,
and I need to know
how they work.
- Can't you see I'm busy?
- Fen.
Look, I know what the fairies
did to you in Fillory
was fucked up.
And I'm sorry about that, but...
- Yeah...
[cell phone beeps]
That's my response.
[cell phone dings]
- Is that a gif of a crab
with a knife?
- It's how I feel.
Is it "gif" or "jif?"
- Please.
I need your help.
- Fairies just
make my skin crawl.
- Okay, and how does
slavery make you feel?
- So what you're saying is
that you want a fairy necklace
to examine?
- Yes.
One that isn't already attached
to a fairy's neck.
- Fine, but don't
expect me to pretend
like I don't
hate fairies.
- You don't have to.
We know about your fairies.
There's one
standing right there.
[whimsical music]
Fen's family had
a problem with them,
so I'm trying to help fix it.
- I hate them.
Their black eyes.
Their long fingers.
Their mushrooms.
- Mushrooms?
- They make the air thick
and musty,
like a bear's undercarriage.
- And what was the deal that
you made with these fairies?
- Oh, I didn't make a deal.
One was made for me by...
- By her family.
[clears throat]
See, uh, they were tricked.
- Interesting.
And here I thought that
the fairies under my protection
were the last of their kind.
- [sighs]
I wish.
They're everywhere in Fil...
- Fillmore.
Fillmore.
It's, um... it's a small farming
town in the Midwest.
- And what about you, Julia?
How is it that you
can see them?
- I made a deal
with a younger fairy.
Visibility for a Snickers bar.
- And just how young was
this fairy?
- I don't know, actually.
Still trying to catch one.
Which... which is
why we wanted to ask you,
how are the ones here,
you know, so docile?
- Well, I assume that you've
noticed that, uh,
all of my fairies have
this silver collar.
- You mean, their necklace?
- [chuckles]
Necklaces, yeah.
They are cute, aren't they?
They're to help keep things
from getting out of control.
You'll need one.
You can get it
from my Uncle Edwin.
But I'm gonna need
something in return.
- Of course.
If your rash is back...
- I'll need you
to bring me a fairy.
[whimsical music]
- [exhales deeply]
- Penny, during orientation,
weren't you trained on
how to properly re-shelve?
- We got a billion years,
Howard.
Just keeping shit interesting.
- So, uh, Penny.
My book club is looking
for new members.
Interesting people.
And I thought of you.
- Why?
'Cause I'm brown?
And shackled?
You know this looks bad
for the Library, right?
- Oh, no.
We are not...
We shackle people of
all races and colors here.
- Not better, Howard.
- What I meant was...
I read your book.
- The hell?
- I had unresolved feelings
about my death
and your hand in it.
- You killed yourself.
- Am I misremembering
the part where you handed me
the cursed book
that directly led to that?
So the least you can do is
join my book club.
Kathy always brings cupcakes.
They're amazing.
- Fuck off, Howard.
- Participation helps ease
the transition, Penny.
Give it a think.
- Fasten it around the neck
to activate it.
Then it will instantly kill
a fairy if they use magic.
Should deter them
from even trying.
Of course, you have to actually
catch a fairy first.
- Oh, I'm sure I'll figure
something out.
So, how does it work?
I mean, what's it powered by?
Considering there's...
- That would be
a family secret.
- Okay.
Uh, but...
once it's on,
how will I know it's secure?
Has a fairy ever
broken out of one?
- [snickers]
Dust.
This is Dust.
I've had him since
I was 16.
But he's been in
the family much longer.
How long?
- Over 400 years, sir.
- He may not look it,
but he's our oldest Fairy.
Tell Irene her guest
has a collar.
- Yes, sir.
- There's really only one way
to take them off.
I have a machine that does it.
So don't worry, they're secure.
- Great.
[snaps case shut]
Thank you so much
for all your help.
[ominous music]
- Today is not my day.
- I get that you're mad, okay?
But just hear me out.
- You turned me in, Sylvia.
- Look, when magic went out,
shit got really bad up there
for my family, okay?
My... my brothers,
my... my uncles, my dad,
they all got whacked.
- And went where?
To the Underworld?
Where you are?
All my people are up there,
Sylvia.
I can't travel,
I can't astral project,
I can't do shit
'cause of you.
- My family isn't
in the Underworld, Penny.
They moved on.
- To where?
- I mean,
I'm not sure.
The Underworld is just
a way station, really.
You hang around for a bit,
and then
the bureaucracies that be
move you on.
But I don't know what
or where that is.
- So your family just left you?
- Yeah, Dad's always
sucked at waiting,
so he pulled some strings
and cut the line.
But these contracts that we
sign with the Library
are fucking ironclad,
so I can't go anywhere
until I finish
my billion years.
When the Library
put a bounty on you,
it brought me a million years
closer to my family, Penny.
And I'm sorry.
I know that
that doesn't fix anything...
- Yeah, you're right.
It fixes shit.
- I spoke to a few
of the others.
They don't believe me.
If I hadn't done the magic,
if I hadn't felt what happened,
I don't think I would
believe me either.
- Okay, Skye.
You've got to keep trying.
- How?
What should I say?
- Look, I don't know,
but I found a way
to take off the collars.
Edwin's got a machine
in the Lab.
- It won't matter.
They're scared.
The thought of escape is
like a death wish.
But...
there is one more thing.
Several of Ms. Irene's family
have arrived.
Many of them brought
their fairies.
- To Brakebills?
Why?
- I don't know.
- Skye.
- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
- [exhales deeply]
- If Skye can't convince them
to run, what are we gonna do?
- We introduce them
to someone scarier.
[whimsical music]
- I'm on a flying boat!
- Okay, so the Sixth Key
is in the Throne Room?
Where Tick's waiting
with a serrated spoon
to just saw off our heads?
- Tick isn't at Whitespire,
though.
He's up north, near Loria.
- The Throne Room is empty,
but we need to move fast.
So the book says
that the Sixth Key
will only reveal itself in
the light of two half moons,
which is a thing
that happens in Fillory.
- Like two black and white
cookies split apart
to form one giant white cookie.
A cookie moon.
- Mm-hmm.
Uh, anyway,
so it... it's gonna be
super bright,
um, and it happens tonight,
so...
- Wait, why is Tick up near
Loria?
- Fillory's at war.
- What?
- The fuck?
- I know, we are
literally Questing
through a war-torn country.
So epic.
- And who exactly
are we at war with?
- The Lorians and the Floaters.
- Yeah, we heard about it when
we were passing through town.
- That cock's High King
for three seconds
and it all goes
to shit.
- I need to send
a Bunny to Idri.
- Yeah, I'll send one
to that Stone bitch.
- Wait, what about the key?
- Q, you just told us,
Fillory is being spit-roasted
by invading forces.
Without us.
- Okay, can I say
something obvious,
yet potentially controversial?
We are no longer the Kings
and Queens of Fillory.
- Says who?
- Fillory,
when they overthrew you.
- Mm...
- Well, they were misguided,
and scared,
and they needed scapegoats.
At some point, you either have
to choose to follow through
on something, or just,
well,
die.
- Look, we chose this.
You captain the Key Quest,
Coldwater,
and we'll stop war.
- Ooh, ooh, can you drop us off
at Whitespire
after it gets dark?
They have that balcony.
We could just rappel down
into the Throne Room.
It would be dope.
- Get ready to tuck and roll,
bitches,
.
- Yes, once fairies
lived on Earth.
But not in hundreds of years.
Not since we fled to Fillory
because human Magicians
nearly hunted us
into extinction.
- I had no idea.
- Of course not.
Short memory is a privilege
of the oppressor.
[ominous music]
- I'm sorry.
- So you'll understand
my disbelief then
when a human tries
to lure me to Earth
with tales of a lost tribe
that can't exist.
- But they're not...
- I've heard enough.
- Wait.
You're not listening.
- I'd rather remove
your tongue.
Maybe your teeth.
You choose.
- Go ahead.
You have already taken
so much from me.
What's a few teeth?
- You've got two sentences.
Choose wisely.
- I hate fairies.
So why would I come here, to
a place where you stole my toes
and I lost my child,
if it wasn't true?
- Then why would you
do this for me?
- It's not for you.
It's for them.
- They're still fairies.
- But they're nothing like you.
They're more like
traumatized children.
And as a mother,
despite what you did to me,
they deserve a chance to live.
So get off your...
whatever it is fairies
have for rear butts,
and do something.
They need their Queen.
[chain rattling]
[ominous music]
- [sighs]
- [sobbing]
- What part of the Library
is "Secrets Taken
to the Grave"?
- Oh, so now you're
talking to me?
I'm... I'm kidding.
Chill.
Uh, it's some weird
research division
that the Library made
in partnership with the people
who run the Underworld.
Librarians like us aren't even
allowed to go in there.
- [sobbing]
- What the hell do they do
to these people?
- Oh, it's like primal therapy
for people who are
about to move on.
You go and unload your bullshit
and it lightens your
conscience.
I'm sure my dad's
was a nightmare.
- This is all part of that
"Underworld is
a way station" shit?
- Yeah, they, like, jot down
everything of note,
and then at the end you get
a metro card out of here.
- You're telling me there's a
subway out of the Underworld?
- Well, it's more like
this giant, long,
pig-type creature that you,
like, climb into,
and then it takes you
wherever you need to go next.
- Why the hell
are we still here?
Why haven't we hijacked
that long pig?
- Because it only shows up when
somebody has a metro card
and is ready to move on.
[woman continues sobbing]
- Our contracts will
never let us move on.
- Nobody's ever gonna give us
metro cards, Penny.
Not like them.
- Okay, so in this chapter
the Daughter,
she finally becomes the Knight
that she set out to be,
and right after she's knighted,
her shield catches a moonbeam
and it reflects it back.
[glass shatters]
- What're you doing?
- Guys, guys.
Reminder, there are still
guards patrolling around, so...
- The book says the moonlight
has to hit three keystones
to reveal the key.
There's three doors,
three keystones,
and none of them
are near a window.
- Okay, so we set up
some mirrors,
and bounce around
some moonlight,
and then we're back
on track?
Enjoying the Quest?
- Yeah, if that's
what the book says.
- You know it does.
- Hey.
Look, it's a perfect metaphor
for your relationship.
[chuckles]
Not ready to laugh...
yet, that's fine.
- You want me to put on
a slave collar?
- It's the only way we can get
you in direct contact
with Irene's fairies.
- Or I could just cut off all
the McAllistairs' heads.
- For all we know,
the McAllistairs
can trigger
the collars remotely.
And just like that...
[snaps fingers]...
Every collared fairy
will be dead.
We need to be stealth.
Smart.
- Tell me,
what's smart about rendering
myself defenseless
and then entrusting my life
to a powerless Magician?
[foreboding music]
You're god-touched.
- That's one way to put it.
But it also means
I can protect you.
- It doesn't mean
that I trust you.
- I get it.
For good reason.
Why would you trust
any human on Earth?
But Fen and I
are risking our lives.
So we need you to trust us.
- Or don't.
And we can just do this
on our own.
Without you.
- She's right.
I'm not sure how,
but we will find a way.
- What is it that you want
from us?
- Not sure I understand.
- She's healing
a mother's wound, but you...
Why go so far, Julia?
- Let's just say being
god-touched is a mixed bag.
But I choose
to do something with that.
It means something.
Helping those fairies,
saving them, with you.
And this collar.
- [sighs]
.
- She really is stunning.
How many more of them
are there?
- Hard to say, really.
They're not all that friendly.
- And where did you say
your friend is from again?
- The Midwest.
- No, I mean what town is she...
[cell phone rings]
Huh, excuse me.
- Fairly well-behaved,
actually,
considering she's feral.
- Guess I got lucky, huh?
- Uh, that's a much faster
turnaround than we agreed on.
[snaps fingers]
You know what,
it'll be a push,
but I think I can get it
to you all by then.
The others will take some
convincing...
- Looks like we're working
through dinner.
You know what to do with her.
- ...especially if
time is against us.
My apologies, I'm having
family over for dinner.
But we'll talk later?
About the other fairies?
- Of course.
[cell phone vibrating]
- [whispering]
Shit.
- It's true.
What Julia said.
You're real.
You're a queen.
She's a queen.
Of the free fairies.
[breathing heavily]
- Never bow your head.
For anyone.
- Collar breaker,
collar breaker,
where are you?
[footsteps rustling]
[light bulbs buzzing]
- Ready the chair.
I need to check the equipment.
- Yes, sir.
- [speaking Hebrew]
[magic chimes]
- They're saying they want
everything.
Our entire supply.
- Look, I know that it
sounds risky,
but there is a limited time
to this offer.
If we don't...
- Risky? No.
Reckless.
Leave us.
- Though we've been separated
by time and great distance,
we are the same.
We are spun
from divine inspiration.
Blessed.
We are the living
embodiment of magic.
- I may have secured
a new source.
- Of fairies?
How?
- Ask Edwin.
He's seen her.
- So I've come to restore
your strength.
To help you understand
the glory of who you are.
Your suffering is my suffering.
Your injustice, mine.
- Where is Edwin?
- Edwin?
Edwin is working.
- And when we
are finally free,
we are gonna hunt down every
last living slaver,
gouge out their eyes,
cut out their tongues,
and hang them
by their own entrails.
- You may feel a pinch,
but if you relax,
it'll be brief.
.
- You want us to pull back
our advancements on Fillory?
- This is ridiculous.
- All we're really asking is
that we pause the invasion.
- You both know that
the only reason Eliot and I
are in this mess is because
of fairy meddling bullshit.
- And as soon as we clear this
up with the people of Fillory...
- Deposed rulers don't get
their thrones back.
They exile themselves.
Or die at the hands
of the mob.
- Is this how you talk
to all your allies?
- Allies?
My dear, I have yet to see any
proof that your marriage
to my son was ever
even consummated.
- I made his little life
flash before his eyes.
- Are you sure that wasn't
from the toad bite?
- You saw it?
- Of course I did.
I'm his mother.
- Wow, that's a lot to process.
- In any case, I have no faith
in either of you
reclaiming your thrones.
We will continue
our advancement on Fillory.
- I'm afraid Loria declines
as well.
With magic gone, Loria has
the advantage over Fillory.
It makes no sense to withdraw
when I know we'll succeed.
I have to do what's best
for my people.
- And what about
our engagement?
- You're no longer king, Eliot.
So it's no longer valid.
- King Idri, are you saying you
have yet to take a husband?
My son's marble has
yet to be polished.
- You mossy, pimping bitch.
- Will you excuse us
for two seconds?
As much as I would love to roll
your smother-in-law
off our boat, it won't prevent
either one of them
from invading Fillory.
- We need to split those two up
before your man's arranged
to marry my child bride.
- And our best plan is...
- We offer them magic.
[ominous music]
- What the...
[door clanks open]
- [breathing heavily]
- Fen!
- I just watched him
help kill a fairy.
And there isn't a machine
that removes their collars,
just a machine that
removes their heads.
- What?
- All right, we just need to
figure something out.
- There's nothing.
Fairy deals cannot be broken.
- Wait, the magic that
controls the collars,
they're fairy deals?
Edwin said you're
the oldest of the fairies.
Does that mean that you were
the one who made the deal?
- Yes.
- [gasps]
How could you do that
to your own people?
- Hundreds of years ago,
Magicians had hunted us
out of existence nearly.
Then my Queen found
passage to a new world.
Several of us volunteered to
bind ourselves to the collars
and the McAllistairs.
A deal that would keep them
from following.
We thought we'd sacrifice
the few for the many.
But as my generation died,
and younger generations
were born into this life,
I lost faith
in that sacrifice.
Or in the belief that my Queen
had made it to the other side.
- She did.
My mother, your Queen,
led us to Fillory,
where I was born.
And we were able
to create a home there.
All because of your sacrifice.
- You never should have come.
Because now you can
never go back.
- There is a way to break
a fairy deal, isn't there?
- It doesn't matter.
- Doesn't matter?
Of course it does.
- I will not do it.
Our deals are the foundation
of our culture
and key to our survival.
- You are their Queen.
You came here to save them.
If you don't, what's the point?
- Fairies are known
for honoring their deals.
When we break them,
we lose the people's trust
and our limited leverage,
which we need for survival.
Without that,
we are weak and vulnerable.
It would be better
for all of us
for me to take it
to the grave.
- Which will be soon enough!
Against the wall.
Dust, we're on a schedule.
[solemn music]
- Do not go with him.
- What did I just say?
- I won't let you do this.
[magic thunders]
- I do not have time for this.
- [whimpering]
[screams]
Stop!
No!
[tense music]
[screaming]
[gash gurgles]
[spell sizzles]
- What the fuck?
[groaning]
[heavy thuds]
Ah!
- You guarantee that this is
the best decision
for our family?
- I guarantee it.
- Do not make me
regret my decision, Irene.
- Oh, Vincent, when have I ever
steered this family wrong?
[laughter]
- Cheers.
- To us. To a new future.
- Cheers.
- Oh.
[chuckles]
[screaming,
frightened chatter]
Ahh!
[screaming]
[screams]
[whimpering]
[grunts]
.
- [breathing heavily]
[ominous music]
[sobbing]
[gasps]
- Shit.
It seems like those Secrets
dicks really made you earn it.
Any idea where you're going now
that you're moving on?
- No, they, uh...
They didn't really say.
- Well, who'd you talk to?
Was it Fran?
Oh, she's...
She's the one that just got
those two lazy eyes and...
Never really know
which one to focus on
'cause they're both moving.
[laughs]
- I... I had, uh...
I couldn't really see
his face under his hood,
but he had...
He had glowing red eyes.
- Oh.
- What... what does that mean?
- Oh, you must have done some
horrible shit in your time.
- Wait, wait, uh,
whe... where am I going?
Is it hell?
- If only.
At least hell is warm.
- There's a place
worse than hell?
- Oh, and way more creative
with what they plug
all of your
openings up with.
- [stammers]
I'm not ready.
I'm not ready to go anywhere.
- [chuckles]
[magic whooshes]
- Hello, Penny.
Let's chat.
[tense piano music]
- I've missed this.
But it doesn't change anything.
- You know what Margo's
doing right now?
She's convincing
the Stone Queen
that we'll get
magic back.
Because we will.
And she's threatening her
with it.
- If I'm lying,
invade later and kill me.
But if I'm not,
do you really wanna fight
righteously pissed off
Magicians who can finger-blast
your entire army
into fucking compost?
- And is that your
strategy as well?
To threaten me?
- I'd be well within my rights,
given that your army is
about to attack us.
But no,
I'm not threatening you.
I am promising you...
- What exactly?
- On the off chance
this is true,
what're your plans for taking
back control of the thrones?
- Once we give back
magic to the people,
we won't have to take anything.
Hell, they'll be begging us
to take back our thrones.
- Our Magicians can identify
anyone with magical talent.
And it's likely that many of
your people have it
without the education
to know it.
So we'll educate them.
Soon you could have magic
as powerful as ours.
- I usually like to keep
a certain amount of distance
between myself
and the residents,
but you are just
so fucking fascinating.
- What?
- I've never seen anyone fight
their destiny so hard
while simultaneously propelling
themselves towards it.
I mean, you narrowly
escaped death.
Twice.
And then still snuck
into the Underworld.
Who does that?
- Yeah, I still have
no idea who you are.
- Hades.
- [chuckles]
Hades.
Like the god?
- Shh.
I told you, low profile.
- Okay, so what the hell are
you doing talking to me?
Look, is this about the metro...
- No, it's not about that.
It's much more big picture.
Let's talk about your future
as a Librarian.
- Or not.
- This is about that Quest,
isn't it?
Let me tell you something
about that.
It doesn't matter.
- Easy for a god to say.
- Spoiler alert...
Magic always comes back.
It may take a millennia
and your entire species
verging on the brink
of extinction, but it will.
Because ultimately,
magic's a carrot gods use
to keep humans in check.
It's a lot to take in,
I know.
My point is,
your life as a human,
it's like your memories
before the age of three.
This Quest, your friends,
in a thousand years,
hazy at best.
Your life starts now,
after death.
And yes, I realize
the phrasing is confusing.
- Okay, what... what is this?
Is this some kind of
fucked up punishment
for stealing
a metro card?
- Hardly.
There are a lot of places
you could've ended up
that aren't nearly
as nice as the Underworld.
- Shackled to a trolley
re-shelving books?
- We're in the greatest Library
in the entire universe
with almost an eternity
to explore it.
And if you want the shackles
off, go to Howard.
- So I have to join a book club
to free myself?
- All anyone's offering you
is a chance to participate
and be part of something.
You've got that
whole loner thing,
but it's obviously a front.
Ever since that trip to
Savannah with your real mom,
you've been desperate
to prove your worth.
- Yeah, okay, you and everyone
else down here
that's read my book... what,
you just think you know me?
- But it's why you're always
sacrificing yourself
for people, right?
To remind them how important
you are to the group?
If you're that desperate to
move on and maybe somehow
fumble your way back
to your old life,
I won't stop you.
But I'm telling you, Penny,
if you stay down here,
you've got an amazing destiny
ahead of you.
.
- And that should be
the last keystone, right?
- I don't understand.
- Would you stop...
- You keep acting like
this is your book.
- Maybe 'cause I've been
on the Quest
for more than
two minutes...
- Guys, snoop-and-poop voices.
Please.
- You're hiding something
from me.
- Why don't you just ask me
what you wanna ask me?
- Guys, seriously, I just got
out of a fantasy prison,
and I don't wanna end up
in a real one.
- Are you working
for the Library?
- Yes.
- Surprisingly honest.
That's...
- Are you trying to stop us?
- No.
They wanna help us.
They want magic back
as badly as you do.
- Well, I find that a little
hard to believe,
given what they did to Harriett
and Victoria and Penny.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What about Victoria?
[ominous music]
- You're welcome.
Yeah, you boned me,
but you also saved my life.
And I left you alone
when I shouldn't have.
Christ, okay, just go see
your family alread...
- No, I... I don't...
I don't understand.
- What's to understand?
They helped me.
They wanna help us.
How is any of that bad?
- Sorry, are you smoking
right now?
I was stoked to go on this
Quest and hang with you guys,
but...
my ex is dead, and you two are
setting my ball hairs on end.
I need this.
I'm just glad I was a genius
who stashed high-end
party treats all over
while I was
Substitute High King.
- If the Library
wanted to help,
why hide it from me?
Why not just tell me?
- Because I know you.
And I know how you'd react.
And you did.
- Guys.
Guys.
Guys!
I know where the Sixth Key is.
- Where?
- I'm sorry that we couldn't
save more of your kind.
- Had it not been for you,
they'd all be dead.
I choose to be grateful.
- I won't tell anyone
about what you did tonight.
- It's too late.
There are consequences
to broken deals.
Our word will mean nothing.
- I'm sorry.
[solemn music]
- Of all the humans that
have ever sough me out,
you're the only one who didn't
do it for personal gain.
If more were like you,
we might have been
able to coexist.
- We still can.
We could at least try.
- You and your companions
are on a Quest, correct?
For seven keys?
- Yes.
- We have one of the keys
in the Fairy Realm.
But it's what created
and sustains
the Fairy Realm.
Without the key,
everything collapses,
which is why we can never
give it to you.
[ominous music]
- Howard.
[trolley rattles,
shackles clink]
What's your stupid
book club reading?
- [chuckles]
[rhythm and blues music]
[indistinct chatter]
- Gill and Stacey...
Greatest love story
ever written.
He's handsome and tough
and misunderstood,
but... but with a heart of gold.
And she is a driven woman
just trying to make it
in a man's world.
So good.
- I'm su... I'm sure it is.
- Penny, meet Kathy.
Kathy, Penny.
- Sup?
- He supped me.
It's just like
I always imagined.
- Penny, try one
of Kathy's cupcakes.
I promise you won't regret it.
- ♪ Nobody knows
- ♪ That's how it goes
- ♪ That's how it goes
- ♪ That's how it goes
- Nobody knows
- That's how it goes
- ♪ That's how it goes
- ♪ That's how it goes
- ♪ That's how it goes
- ♪ That's how it goes
- ♪ That's how it goes