The Magical World of Disney (1954–1991): Season 31, Episode 4 - The B.R.A.T. Patrol - full transcript
A group of military brats uncovers a plot to steal base equipment.
(GUNSHOTS)
MAN: (OVER PA)
Attention all pilots.
Pre-flight
in five minutes.
Hey, Tiny,
better hurry up.
Yeah, sure.
DAD: Kids,
breakfast is on you.
Your mom's at
the gunnery range.
DARLA'S MOM: Darla, honey,
stop by the PX after school
and get some milk,
some eggs, and... Oh!
Get a can of 10-40 oil.
MAN: (OVER PA)
Merv, you have a call
from your daughter at school.
Merv, call.
Has anybody
seen Leonard?
Saw him last night
at the youth center.
DARLA: I hope he gets
to school today.
Don't worry about Leonard.
He's probably already there.
(BUGLE ALARM SOUNDING)
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
LEONARD'S MOM:
Leonard, are you up?
LEONARD:
Since the crack
of dawn, Mom.
Well, you'd better hurry
or you'll be late
for school.
School. School!
Leonard, did you clean up
your room like your father
told you...
Clean?
...as part of your
punishment for driving
the automatic
lawnmower through
General Newmeyer's
rose garden?
Remember?
Mother... Mother,
this room is immaculate!
You could perform
major surgery in here.
Uh-huh.
Can I take a peek?
Must we spoil
such a magic moment,
Mother?
I'd like to save it to be
a surprise for all of us.
All right, dear,
breakfast is
on the table.
Breakfast is
ready, hon.
LEONARD'S DAD: I'm late.
I'll get it
at the mess hall.
All right, Kinsey,
let's go
catch some waves.
(ENGINE REVVING)
Good morning, Lieutenant.
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
Hey!
TEACHER: Owen, Nancy?
Here.
Jandi, Mark?
Here.
Kellerman, Stanley?
Here.
Slow down!
(SKATEBOARD ENGINE REVVING)
Kinsey, Leonard?
Present!
So good of you to join us,
Mr. Kinsey.
To what do we owe
the pleasure
of your company?
I wouldn't miss this
for the world, Mr. Foster.
(STUDENTS SNICKERING)
You were really pushing it
in home room today, Leonard.
Negative.
I got it covered.
Leonard, when
you bring heat
on yourself,
you bring heat on
all of
the B.R.A.T. Patrol.
We've been together
for two years
and the place
finally feels like home.
Why blow it now?
Take a fizzy, McGeorge.
You know the rules.
You make life what you can
and then you drift.
Hey, Leonard, wait up.
Gonna make a pit stop.
Hey, what do you know?
Looks like a couple of
the B.R.A.T. Patrollers
just headed into the can...
Alone.
Let's go pay
our respects, Whittle.
What do you mean you don't
think your folks
are gonna let you go?
It's gonna be educational,
for Pete's sake.
Leonard, the Roller
Devils Crash-a-thon is not
considered educational.
Of course it is.
It's a study in
human sociology.
It's a meeting
of rival factions
of mankind
colliding on
a field of
common ground.
And I do mean
colliding.
Great.
Trouble at six o'clock.
Well, look what
we found, guys.
A couple of B.R.A.T.
Patrollers playing
in the sink.
McGEORGE:
We were just leaving.
Not so fast.
We got some
serious talking to do.
About what?
About the order
of things, Kinsey.
You know, this base
used to be under control
until you clowns
showed up.
So, we figure it's
just about time to
get back to basics,
starting with
this year's upcoming
Youth Service Award.
Never heard of it.
Sure you have.
It's the annual award
given to the most
outstanding group
of young people
on base,
usually for doing
some incredible acts of
goodwill in the community.
Don't sweat it, Newmeyer.
You guys got it wired.
Yeah, well,
that's what we
thought last year,
till you worms showed up
and threw the tennis tourney
for the Blind
Children's Society.
Then gave that hokey speech
about universal brotherhood
and helping your fellow man.
You guys ended up
winning the award.
Beginner's luck.
Well, we just want to
make sure that it
doesn't happen again.
'Cause we're gonna take
this year's award,
B.R.A.T. Patrol
or no B.R.A.T. Patrol.
Let me guess.
You guys are
giving a CPR class
at the county morgue.
Wrong, wiseacre!
You see,
the junior marines is on
a humanitarian offensive.
We're gonna blow the socks
off this place
with incredible
acts of benevolence.
We can't wait.
I'm talking
warmth and kindness
to the tenth degree, Kinsey.
So stay out of our way.
You guys are dead meat.
Yeah, that's
a lovely start.
I mean it.
We're putting you
and the B.R.A.T.
Patrol on notice.
Your breath is
wrinkling my shirt,
Newmeyer.
Now back off before
I call a dry cleaner.
You know, I would love
to stay and
chat with you guys,
but the boys and I are late
for an afternoon dip
at the officer's
club swimming pool.
You know the place, Kinsey.
The one that's
off-limits to you.
See you wimps later.
Come on, boys.
Let's get wet.
It's Mr. Wimps to you!
They can't
do that to us.
Can they do that?
They just did.
They've declared open season
on the B.R.A.T. Patrol.
Better summons our people.
You don't mean...
DARLA: I wonder what ant hill
Leonard stepped on this time.
Oops! Sorry.
Hey, Bug,
don't talk back to me.
Well, are you with us?
So what gives, Leonard?
I'm missing a chem lecture
at the university.
Let alone
Little League practice.
It's gonna
have to wait, guys.
We got some problems.
We always got problems.
Yeah, but this time,
we got older ones.
Aw, no.
Not the junior
grunts again.
That's right, Bug.
Chuck Newmeyer
and his goony birds
are leaning on
us in a major way.
Thinks just 'cause his dad
is general on the base
that he can push us around.
No! We've been
pushed around
all our lives.
Moved from base to base,
school to school,
friend to friend.
And by some chance,
some twist of fate,
we've ended up here,
side by side...
To form the B.R.A.T. Patrol,
to stick together
through thick and thin,
and to alleviate boredom
no matter what
the consequences!
Well, so what are
we gonna do?
There's only
one thing to do.
(ALL GASP)
That's right, guys.
We're talking pool party.
Yeah.
Mayday, mayday, mayday.
Why'd you bring the kid?
Had to. The folks get
suspicious when I don't.
Hope he can
handle the pressure.
Ah! This is heaven.
Yeah.
The corps is a great
way of life, Whittle.
Thought after
this we'd go down
and catch some quick PT
at the weight room.
Sounds good.
Oh, uh, waiter.
Can we have another round
of beers here, please?
Yes, sir.
Thanks.
Follow right!
I've seen better fakes
from two-year-olds.
That's 14-year-olds,
so show
some respect, Pop.
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
Mitch, right over here.
Your root beer, sir.
(LAUGHING SARCASTICALLY)
All right, just put 'em
on my father's tab, huh?
Wimp.
(SCOFFING)
So, now what do we do?
I'm thinking.
I'm thinking.
Sounds familiar.
Sounds familiar.
Will you guys
cut me some slack?
Oh!
Up, up.
Yo, tennis balls.
Yeah, good ammo.
Hey, nice touch.
You packing the Fizzies?
I got the water.
We're gonna turn this pool
into one giant soda pop.
LEONARD:
Hit the H2O, McGeorge.
Hey, hold it steady.
LEONARD:
Fizz bomb two.
Oh!
LEONARD:
Let's blitzkrieg 'em.
LEONARD: Careful, careful.
Push it to the right.
All right.
Take no prisoners.
I wonder what the B.R.A.T.
Patrol is doing right now?
Probably reading
some comic books.
(EXCLAIMING)
Assume defensive
positions and take cover!
BUG: Hey, Newmeyer!
LEONARD: Good shot, Bug!
Excellent shot, Bug.
LEONARD:
Back me up, McGeorge, buddy!
Geronimo!
Throw it to me.
LEONARD: Woo-hoo!
To the left! To the left!
Got 'em!
(EXCLAIMING)
LEONARD: Yo, hit Newmeyer!
Hit Newmeyer!
Hit him to the left!
Air attack!
Yo, yo, help me out!
(LAUGHING)
Afternoon, General.
This way, sir.
I trust everything
is in order
for my assistant
Secretary of Defense
Atwood's luncheon?
Yes, sir.
Splendid.
He'll be inspecting
the base this weekend
and presenting
the Youth Service Awards.
I want everything
shipshape.
Joseph?
Yes, sir?
How's everything
out there?
Just beautiful, General.
(CHAOTIC SHOUTING)
Kinsey, you are a dead man!
Yeah, and you're
a turkey!
(EXCLAIMING)
Are you kidding me?
BUG: Nice shot.
What's the meaning
of this?
Dad! Dad!
I mean, General, sir!
Take cover!
We're under attack!
Hey, Chuck.
Code three!
I'm gonna have
your hides for this!
Come on, you guys, run!
Look! An escape vehicle!
LEONARD: Hey, I'll drive!
Let's roll!
DARLA: Wait!
Come on!
Look out!
DARLA: Hit the gas!
(PHONE RINGING)
Major Hackett.
Yes, General.
Well, did you get
a good look at 'em?
Well, it is
a pretty hot day, sir.
GENERAL NEWMEYER:
(OVER PHONE)
I don't care how hot it is!
I want those kids punished!
Well, they're basically
a group of good kids, sir.
(HORN TOOTING OUTSIDE)
No, General, I did not...
See your golf cart.
Can you give me
a brief description of it?
Uh-huh.
Mmm-hmm.
Hey! Stop!
(SHOUTING)
Hackett,
Hackett, where are you?
Just what's
going on, Hackett?
General, uh...
I'll look into
this personally.
See that you do, Hackett!
(VIDEO GAME NOISES)
Ugh!
Three hits.
Not a bad day's work.
I usually shoot
down six in a mission.
So, what brings you
to this neck of the deck,
Major?
Rumor has it
that a group of kids
raided the officer's
club today,
threw a little pool party
without proper clearance.
General asked me
to look into it.
Is that a fact?
Did he get
a good look at them?
Not really.
Seems a wave of water
hit him in the mug
before he could
make positive ID.
They also ran off
in his golf cart.
Probably the Russians.
Those Cossacks
will do anything
for a laugh.
Yeah. General seems
to think the B.R.A.T.
Patrol was involved.
What do you
think, Major?
Sounds like their MO.
Loud, reckless,
lot of unnecessary
giggling.
Pretty serious stuff,
Leonard.
Newmeyer has been
on our backs
ever since somebody
released those hamsters
at that officer's banquet.
Well, can you blame him?
It took two
weeks to get 'em out
of the air conditioning ducts.
I know.
We got stuck with the job.
That was a bum rap,
Major Hackett.
Somebody had to
take the fall, Leonard.
Now what do you know
about this pool party?
Sounds like
some kids got wet.
Yeah, so did the General.
He's very concerned.
Thinks maybe you kids
would be happier if you
were separated.
But I might be able
to talk him out of it.
He seems to want
to help you kids,
provided you bring
back the golf cart.
Now, I've discussed
it with your folks.
We've come up with
an alternative plan.
Great.
You may have to
pull some
community service.
Cut us
some slack, Major.
It's either that
or Newmeyer
can call your
parents personally.
Kiss El Diablo Air
Station good-bye.
You know, it's tough
being a kid, Major.
Try being a cop.
Oh, yeah, by the way,
we've been
getting some complaints
about a sidewalk surfer
who's been
breaking the speed limit.
If you see him,
tell him to slow down.
Semper Fi, Leonard.
Here's some more paint.
Aren't we done yet?
I don't need any help.
Thank you, sir.
Good deed number 76.
Darn junior marines.
All this for a measly dip
in a swimming pool.
You're not kidding.
Interesting.
Appears to be
a fairly advanced
sedimentary specimen
from the Precambrian
period.
Don't analyze it, Bug.
Just paint it.
Hey, Leonard.
Could you give us a hand?
Hey, I'd really like to, guys,
but I'm a paint monitor.
We're only allowed
to stir the paint.
But you're always
the paint monitor.
It's a tough job,
but somebody's
got to do it.
Don't look now, guys,
but here comes trouble.
BUG: Oh, great.
Just what we need.
LEONARD:
Eh, just ignore
those bozos.
Well, well.
If it isn't
the B.R.A.T. Patrol.
Looks like you guys
are out of the competition.
What competition?
Cool with
the camouflage, Bug.
I'm taking that trophy back.
Hey, why don't
you go play tag with
some parked cars,
okay, Newmeyer?
Oh, that's
real cute, Kinsey.
Too bad the joke's on you
and the B.R.A.T. Patrol.
Word's out all over the base
you guys are history.
Yeah?
Well, you better
check your sources,
'cause the word is wrong.
I have, hot shot.
See, my dad
and everyone else on base
is getting ready for
Secretary Atwood's
visit this weekend.
You guys are
persona non grata.
You know what that means?
You're a baboon?
How about that?
Wimpy can talk.
Yeah, well,
he's trained to spot fools.
You know,
Kinsey, you've always
got something
real smart to say.
I'm startin' to
get a little steamed.
Yeah? Then why
don't you cool off?
(LAUGHING)
My clothes...
They're wet.
War is hell.
You guys want
to be stones?
LEONARD:
Hold your ground, men.
BUG:
That a way, Squeak.
Chuck?
LEONARD:
Hey, chill out, McGeorge.
Kinsey, one day
I'm gonna bump into you
when you don't have
these nerds here
to back you up!
BUG: Nerds?
Hold on, Bug!
Now, if you guys don't want
to be uncommon denominators,
you better just
back off, okay?
Sometimes you go too far!
My helmet.
Man, that was close.
Thanks, guys.
That could have
gotten real ugly.
Leonard, do we have to
paint any more rocks?
No, big guy.
Good.
If I never see
another rock again,
it'll be too soon.
Yeah. Now I know
what prison's like.
You break rocks
in prison, Bug.
You don't paint 'em.
WOMAN: (OVER RADIO)
Unit 7-1-9er, this is
Eagle's Nest. Come in.
Yo, dudes, what was that?
Unit 7-1-9er,
this is Eagle's Nest.
Do you read?
Come in, 7-1-9er.
Whoa, Check out this
MP Vehicle.
Yeah, I wonder
what it's doin'
way out here.
And there's not
an MP in sight.
They're not supposed
to leave their
vehicles unattended.
Maybe he went
to the bathroom.
Bug!
This is Eagle's Nest.
Come in.
Merely conjecture.
MAN: (OVER RADIO)
Roger, Eagle's Nest.
This is Unit 7-1-9er.
Read you loud and clear.
WOMAN:
Lock in 7-1-9er.
McGEORGE:
It's a voice-activated
playback device?
DARLA:
What a good fake-out.
Radical.
WOMAN: (OVER RADIO)
7-1-9er, requesting
a security check
for proper code name
and voice tone, over.
MAN: (OVER RADIO)
Affirmative, Eagle's Nest.
This is MP Unit
7-1-9er in Sector K-2-6.
Code name for this
hour is Desert Pup.
Security number
Delta Bravo Sierra
2-6-1-1-8.
WOMAN: (OVER RADIO)
Roger, Unit 7-1-9er.
Security check complete.
Eagle's Nest out.
Well, that was weird.
Perplexing.
I haven't heard
that many numbers
since my trig
exam last semester.
This is too funky.
I'm gonna take a look around.
LEONARD: How about that
warehouse over there?
DARLA: Yeah, good idea.
Keep it down.
(WHISTLING TUNEFULLY)
Get back.
(WHISTLING CONTINUES)
Ah! (MUTTERS)
Come on! Let's go!
Come on. Let's go.
MAN 1: Where you been?
MAN 2: Hey, what's it to you?
You know those guys?
Never seen them
before in my life.
LEONARD: That one guy's
definitely not a marine.
Something's rotten in Denmark.
I'm going in
for a closer look.
Leonard,
that could be
dangerous.
I'm not just gonna
sit here and do nothing.
You guys wait here.
I'm going with him.
No, you don't,
not without us.
Wait for me.
All right, what do you
got for me this time?
A surprise.
Hey, my boss
don't like surprises,
okay?
But he's gonna
like these.
Only top-quality stuff.
What is this?
What do you mean,
"What is this"?
PRC-70.
It's what you wanted.
(SHUSHING)
Hey, Sherlock.
You cover us
down here, Squeak.
Darn.
These are just
old field radios.
I'm interested in
the high-tech stuff.
I can get these
for a dime a dozen.
Where's the digital
message device groups?
Whoa! DMDGs.
We're talkin'
high-tech radios.
KNIFE:
You playin' games
with me, jarhead?
Just relax, Knife, okay?
I'll get 'em to
you soon as I can.
Soon as you can
ain't good enough.
My boss wants
'em yesterday,
and if I don't get 'em,
I'm gonna be swimmin'
with the sharks
off Coronado.
And I hate sharks.
They make me
real nervous.
Yeah, well,
me too, Knife.
I can't move too quickly.
There's security
all over this base.
Look, let's get
somethin' straight.
If I don't get
the device groups,
not only am I shark bait,
but you're the appetizer.
Okay.
Okay,
I'll get you the DMDGs...
By Sunday.
Sunday?
Secretary Atwood's gonna be
visiting the base on Sunday.
I don't care.
Just get 'em,
or you're gonna
be kissin' cousins
with a hammerhead.
Heh! She's
a beauty, huh?
$300 apiece.
(CHUCKLES) No.
You said six.
Four.
Done.
(GLASS SHATTERING)
What's that?
Check it out.
Yes, sir.
KNIFE: And, Harry,
you check out back.
Don't see nothin', boss.
What are you guys
so nervous about?
I got things covered.
Just... Let's just
all take it easy, okay?
People who take it
easy in this business
don't last very long,
Phillips.
Harry!
What are you doin'
just standin' there?
Get out back!
Move!
(EXHALES)
That was a close one.
No foolin'.
I think I stepped
on a burrito.
Yuck!
McGEORGE:
Let's get outta here.
Okay, boss, all loaded.
Been nice doin' business
with you, Phillips.
I'll see you in
a couple of days.
What's the matter,
Phillips?
Don't you trust me?
(VAN ENGINE STARTS)
(LAUGHING)
(SNICKERING)
Stay down, Squeaker.
SQUEAK: You always say that.
I don't know who
those clowns are,
but I think someone's
rippin' off
the marine corps.
What should we do?
Well, let's go
to General Newmeyer.
Yeah. He'll probably
give us a medal for this.
SQUEAK:
Hey, wait up, guys!
So, how'd it go?
It didn't.
What do you mean by that?
It means we
struck out totally.
Newmeyer didn't
believe you?
They wouldn't
even let us see him,
because they
said he was too busy
getting ready
for Secretary Atwood's
visit.
McGEORGE:
Nobody listens to kids.
Hey, McGeorge,
what about you?
What'd your parents say?
Told me to stop
readin' comic books.
Mine, too.
My dad told me to
stick to baseball.
That means we're sunk.
Not yet,
it doesn't, big guy.
Take a good look
at Mr. Life Jacket.
Come on, guys.
I figured your youth and
inexperience in these matters
would compromise our mission.
So?
So I went to my dad,
told him the whole
unbelievable story.
You did?
And he believed you?
Well, what can I say, guys?
The man worships me.
In fact, he's in
talkin' to Major Hackett
right now.
Should be only
a matter of minutes
till we're nominated
for a congressional
commendation.
I've got to
see this, Leonard.
Ow!
MAJOR HACKETT:
Thanks for stopping in,
Gunny.
GUNNY: No problem, sir.
MAJOR HACKETT:
Okay, Gunny,
what's the story?
All right now,
try not to act
too surprised
if they want to fly us
to Washington, okay?
GUNNY:
It's kind of complicated.
MAJOR HACKETT:
Just give it
to me straight.
GUNNY: Major, we are doing
everything we can think of
to discourage Leonard's
vivid imagination.
MAJOR HACKETT:
I'm well aware of that,
and so is General Newmeyer.
That's why he's
considering removing your
family from the base
if you can't
control your son.
GUNNY: Controlling Leonard,
Major, is like trying to
bottle a hurricane.
MAJOR HACKETT:
Still, you have to try.
And please have
a talk with him
about those
espionage stories.
In fact, I'm calling
all the B.R.A.T.
Patrol parents
and advising them
to do the same thing.
Now, I need not
tell you, Gunny,
that the general
is getting fed up.
GUNNY:
Say no more, Major.
I'll make sure
Leonard behaves
if I have to
ground him for a month.
(GASPS)
So much for your
dad helping us.
Let's ride, guys.
Great.
Nobody believes us.
What we need
is some proof.
What kind of proof?
Hmm. A spotted
Sierra salamander.
I didn't think they
roamed this far south.
Bug, we're tracking thieves,
not lizards.
I'm really tired,
you guys.
Hear that, Leonard?
The kid's fading.
There's nothin' out
here but blisters.
LEONARD:
Are you okay, McGeorge?
Well, you wanted
hard evidence, McGeorge,
I'd say you got it.
Great. Now, will you
help me up, Leonard?
I feel like
a waffle down here.
That was a big one,
all right.
Yeah, maybe even wide enough
to drive a car through.
Or a van?
What do you got, Bug?
Appears to be
the standard
fence line dupe
currently in use
along our
Southern borders.
Can you give me
an ETE?
Judging by
the oxidation marks,
I'd say this has been
used a number of times.
It's not the first,
Leonard.
Darla, how about
tire tracks?
Negative, Leonard.
What do you think?
Strictly professional.
This has been
going on for months.
I'd say there must be three
or four more on the outside.
Yeah,
but who's the inside guy?
Good point, kid.
Anybody get
a good look at him?
Sure. He was
a redhead guy
about 6'2".
Nah, that's 5'11",
Darla, with dark hair.
Not quite, Bug.
He was six even
with blonde hair.
No way, McGeorge.
He was short and fat
with a mustache.
(LAUGHING)
We're in
great shape, guys.
All we gotta do is
find a short redhead
with blonde eyebrows
and a dark mustache,
possibly 20 pounds
overweight.
Should be a cinch.
(GRUNTING)
(PHONE RINGING)
Hello.
Yeah, hang on.
Yo, Knife!
Telephone!
Yeah?
We got trouble.
What kind of trouble?
Kid trouble.
That's your department,
Phillips.
Get rid of 'em.
(DIAL TONE)
Hey. Hello?
Ow, wait!
Well, you gotta believe us!
I'm talking major proof!
Yeah, like your
Bigfoot sightings
and encounters
with the UFOs last year?
Major Hackett, please!
B.R.A.T.'s honor!
(LEONARD GRUNTING)
(DOOR SHUTS)
(EXHALES)
This is the place, sir.
You're gonna love this,
Major Hackett.
It's right over here.
What's over there?
This is weird.
I don't get it.
What's goin' on? Huh?
Okay, what's up, Leonard?
I don't believe this.
It was here this morning!
Kinsey, if this is
another one of your pranks...
It isn't, Major.
He's telling the truth.
This fence line was phony.
It had a hole
big enough to
drive a van through.
Yeah?
I don't see any tire tracks.
Well, the thieves
must have covered 'em up.
What about the fence, huh?
It was cut. I swear it.
This is base property, boys.
If this fence was cut,
somebody would
have reported it.
That's just it, Major.
Somebody didn't.
(SIGHING) Leonard,
I want to believe you boys.
I really do.
But I don't see
any proof. Uh-uh.
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
Ha!
(EXCLAIMING
ANGRILY)
Knew those B.R.A.T.s
were up to something.
Call a board meeting.
Thanks for coming today
on such short notice,
gentlemen.
I know that some of you
are missing judo
practice to be here.
We've got trouble.
BOY: You don't mean
the B.R.A.T. Patrol again.
Precisely.
We are talking
about a group of kids
that has no values,
no concept of
duty or purpose.
Kids that only have
one goal in life...
To have fun.
Now they're trying to take
the Youth Service
Award away from us,
for the second year in a row.
But we want it back!
They're not gonna
pull it off,
because we've compiled
a list of such
immense charity
that it brings
tears to my eyes
just to read it!
Demonstrated,
once again,
that we're not just nice.
We're super.
There are only two
days left, gentlemen.
Two days until
the awards ceremony.
Intelligence indicates
the B.R.A.T. Patrol
is launching
a major offensive.
Will, I want you to
form a junior
lifesaving class.
Get those kids involved,
and I want their
mothers to see it.
Sure thing, Chuck.
Mason, you and some other
men go to the local
old folks home.
Feed their pets,
empty their trash...
Look, oil their wheelchairs!
I don't care!
I want to see kindness,
gentlemen!
B.R.A.T.
Patrol wants to play dirty...
We'll play dirtier!
Look, we've tried to go
through proper
channels with this thing,
but we've been shut down.
So, what are we gonna do?
Simple. The B.R.A.T. Patrol
is gonna catch
the crooks in the act.
Time out, Leonard.
Catching crooks is not as easy
as snaring bullfrogs
down at Dead Men's Creek.
I mean,
it could be dangerous.
Dangerous?
We've never shirked
from danger before.
But, we're just kids.
Not just kids, McGeorge.
B.R.A.T. Patrollers, sworn by
secret oath to
uphold truth, justice,
and the calamity
of reckless youth.
Without us,
this base would be boring.
(GROANING)
Darla, I want you
to get that
vehicle's ID number.
See if you can
find out exactly
who was on duty that day.
Gotcha.
Bug, hit the data
processing center.
Get to the computer and see
if you can run
a make on that '82 van.
Take Squeak as a cover.
SQUEAK: All right!
Right.
But it's illegal.
It's for a good cause.
Now will you quit foolin'
around with that thing?
This is serious.
Right.
McGEORGE:
We'll be grounded for life.
So, if you get
into any trouble,
use these.
Wow! Chocolate grenades!
We haven't used these
since you dropped one
in front of the big line
at the movie theater.
LEONARD:
We got in free, didn't we?
Hey, cool it with
the ammo, Squeak.
All right, McGeorge,
you're stickin' with me.
Do I have to?
Yes, you do.
We gotta get to that
warehouse and find out
how many DMDGs are missing.
Not the security warehouse,
the one that's
totally off limits?
That's the one.
I knew you'd be thrilled.
We're gonna gather
more evidence, McGeorge.
Pull a little recon
into no-man's land.
Leonard, please.
Go with me, big guy.
Every time I do,
I get stuck
in the hot seat.
(LAUGHING) With me.
ALL:
Born, raised, and trapped!
LEONARD: What are we?
ALL: We're military brats!
This is gonna get nuts.
(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)
Can I help you?
Uh, yes.
My younger brother and myself
are doing a research paper
on contemporary
communication in
American society,
with emphasis
on its potential
ramification
to future
neoclassic assemblages.
Hmm. Yeah, right.
Would you mind terribly
if we were to
take a look around
at your data systems?
Corporal Thomas?
You want to take these two
on a tour of the complex?
Sure thing.
Come this way, boys.
(SIGHING) And here we have
your basic data banks
with the non-classified
code system.
Oh, no, no, no,
not a good idea.
(CHUCKLES)
And, uh, right over
here is where we
keep all our software.
You cover me.
Pardon me,
Corporal, what's that?
How's it work?
Uh, this is
the control processor.
This does all the thinking
for the whole center.
What's that?
Oh, that... Oh, no.
SQUEAK: Don't worry.
I won't touch anything.
(ITEMS CRASHING)
Whoops!
I hardly touched it.
SQUEAK: What's this?
CORPORAL THOMAS:
It's a broken data bank.
What's that?
It's a programming
disk.
What's that?
Oh, that's
the console area.
Hey, where'd that
other kid go?
To the bathroom.
What's that?
That's a wastepaper
basket.
What's that?
Oh, no.
Bingo.
I've only got
the table updates
on this inventory.
Now if you'd like,
I can check for you.
It'll take a few minutes.
Hey!
Hold it right there,
you two.
Yes, Sergeant?
Did you kids find
what you were
looking for?
Yes, Sergeant,
we certainly did.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
No, just give me
a few minutes, sir.
(HORN HONKING)
Get down, McGeorge.
We're talkin'
a high-security area.
I got it, Leonard.
You with me?
LEONARD: Remember, dude,
the focus of this mission
is to document
the serial numbers
of the DMDGs,
then we double back
and cross-check.
McGEORGE: That's very
interesting, Leonard,
but I care more
about my personal safety.
I don't know what
this is gonna prove,
Leonard.
It's evidence, McGeorge.
If we can match up
the stolen radios
with the serial numbers
on these crates,
we can gain
some credibility.
Okay, Leonard,
we've got enough.
Let's high-tail
it out of here.
Kick back, McGeorge.
Kick back?
If they catch us in here,
we'll be kickin'
back in the clink.
They'll have us
painting addresses
on curbs again.
Glory is not
without risk.
Okay, Leonard,
I didn't mean it.
I'll stay.
Will you mellow out,
McGeorge?
I'm just gonna use it
to open the crate.
Beautiful, isn't it?
Yeah, sure is.
What is it?
Digital Message
Device Group,
the newest
communication gear
in the field.
This is what those
crooks are after.
Sorry to spoil a love affair,
but we gotta make tracks.
Yeah.
(CAMERA CLICKS)
Well, if it isn't
the soldiers of misfortune.
Caught in a area
that's off limits.
Off limits?
You don't know
anything about any
off limits area,
do you, McGeorge?
Sure don't, Leonard.
You see that? Heh!
You guys made a mistake.
Catch you guys later.
(CHUCKLING)
Not so fast, Kinsey.
You got a lot of
explaining to do.
Bluebird,
this is Sparrow Hawk.
We get a security
violation in Sector K-26.
Request assistance
on the double.
MAN: (OVER RADIO) 10-4.
Must be nice
when your dad's
a bigwig on base.
Yeah, too bad the boy's
got an acne problem.
Maybe it'd
develop into something.
Oh, you're
real cute, Kinsey.
You can blame that
one on my parents.
Look, we're gettin'
real sick and tired
of you B.R.A.T.
Patrollers gettin' away
with murder
around here.
You know what you guys need?
A trip to Maui?
Not quite, kahuna!
What's this?
Just a grenade.
A what?
(EXPLOSION SOUNDS)
Hmm.
And you say you
found these two
in the security sector.
Yes, sir, General.
We rolled on the call
the minute we got it
from the junior marines.
Anything else, Corporal?
Yes, sir.
Found this on them.
Thank you.
That'll be all, Corporal.
(CLEARING THROAT)
So, you two
have reverted
to trespassing
and chocolate
grenades, huh?
Look, I can explain, sir.
You're at attention!
Now, don't you
realize that grenades,
chocolate or otherwise,
are dangerous?
SOLDIER 1:
Grenade! Hit the deck!
SOLDIER 2: Holy cow!
What was that?
Good reactions, men.
Keep up the good work.
Outstanding!
SOLDIER 1: Thank you, sir.
SOLDIER 2: All right,
ladies, knock it off.
As I was saying,
I'm a very busy man,
gentlemen.
I have an air station
to run,
yet time and time again,
I find myself
having to contact parents
because of some wild prank
that's pulled
by the B.R.A.T. Patrol.
Perhaps,
junior marine Newmeyer
could shed some light
on your behavior.
Well, sir, as I see it,
the B.R.A.T. Patrol
has no discipline,
maintains a total
lack of direction,
and generally
disregards regulations.
Thank you, Charles.
Now,
take a good look,
gentlemen.
Here's a group of young people
who are going places.
I look forward to
their presence at
the Youth Service Awards
on Sunday.
You guys parking
cars again this year?
They're not carhops,
Mr. Kinsey.
They are community leaders,
tough, dedicated, strong.
But can they get girls?
Girls?
There are more
important things in life
than girls, gentlemen.
Sometimes.
Community service.
Community service.
Ow!
Gee, Leonard,
it's been
a terrific day.
Whatever happened
to that speech you gave
about international
intrigue and danger?
This is adventurous,
McGeorge.
You think they let just
anyone work with this
kind of equipment?
You want international
flavor, you got it.
This sponge was
made in Brazil, okay?
And that mop you got there,
it was made in Taiwan.
Taiwan, McGeorge!
I'm talkin' Asia.
Hey, how's it goin', boys?
Perfect, Major.
Just about to pop open
another can of cleanser...
From Europe.
It's not a job.
It's an adventure.
Well, I hate
to spoil your fun,
but how would you guys
like to get out of this
little adventure?
What do we have to do?
How's about trying
a little honesty,
like telling me
what you two guys
were doing
in that high security
area yesterday?
That's what we've been
trying to tell you all along.
We were gathering evidence.
Evidence?
Yes, evidence against the guys
in the van we told you about.
Come on, not this again,
boys, please.
It's the truth, Major.
Like your luncheon
with the leprechaun?
Hey, that little
fella could really eat.
Yeah, I know, Kinsey.
You stung me with the tab.
The guy turned out to
be a monkey in a green suit.
Look, you guys are gonna
have to stop spreading
these wild stories
around the base.
You're scaring
people to death.
Last month,
when you had
the cattle drive
through the general's
backyard party, it almost
caused a stampede.
It was a Western rodeo.
Western barbecue.
You're supposed
to eat cows there,
McGeorge,
not ride them.
(SIGHING)
I'd like to
help you guys out,
but first, you're gonna
have to help yourselves.
(BAND MUSIC BEGINS)
Mr. Secretary, I'd like
to welcome you to El Diablo.
I beg your pardon?
Welcome to El Diablo, sir!
Thank you for that.
Very appropriate.
Right this way, sir.
Junior marines!
Present arms!
At ease.
Screen's in place,
Leonard.
All right, Squeak!
Way to go, buddy.
At approximately 11:30
yesterday morning,
operator Squeaker and I
entered the base
computer center
and gained access
to its data systems.
We ran the description
of the van
and came up with
a name and address.
Brunnel Brothers
Salvage and Wrecking,
176 South Montecito Boulevard.
They do good work
for reasonable rates
and seem to...
Stick to the basics, Bug.
It seems the Brunnel Brothers
are some pretty rough
characters.
Before they went
into the auto repair
business,
they owned a liquor store.
Got their license revoked
for selling to minors.
And here's where
it gets real interesting.
Before they owned
that liquor store,
they ran
a military surplus store
down in Ridgemont.
Seems the Brunnel Brothers
were put off of
business by Uncle Sam.
The ATF had them
under investigation
for selling weapons.
What kind of weapons?
The automatic kind.
Does that van
look familiar?
Hey, that's the one we saw
goin' into the warehouse.
Precisely.
Looks like
the Brunnel Brothers are
involved in a little
more than just dents.
Good work, Bug.
Well, my on-base investigation
proved positive, too, guys.
I spotted this vehicle
parked in front of the PX,
and it matches
the same one we saw
parked by the warehouse
the other day.
And this is the man
who was driving it.
So I did some
checking on him,
and he's got clearance
into the warehouse,
and he was
on duty that day.
Are you sure?
Yeah, I checked
the work status shift
in my dad's office.
If he finds out,
he'll kill me.
LEONARD: Nice work, Darla.
It's not
lookin' too hot, gang.
We got a lot of evidence,
but it's still not enough
to put
Phillips and his pals
in the slammer.
Maybe we should
go back to our parents.
Maybe they'll
believe us now.
No, I already tried that.
They made me mow
the lawn again.
The time for action
on our parts is now, gang!
For years,
the B.R.A.T. Patrol
has been laughed at,
kicked around,
and made to
feel like children.
Not anymore.
We are gonna
draw the Brunnel Brothers
out into the open
and trap them in
their own dirty game.
DARLA: But, Leonard,
it's dangerous.
Danger is my middle name.
Not so fast, Kinsey.
BUG:
Get your hands off him!
Hey! Get back there!
SQUEAK: Leonard.
DARLA: Please let him go.
SQUEAK: Let him go.
You kids aren't
goin' anywhere.
(CRYING)
So, you guys thought
you were gonna
set us up, huh?
Well, you been readin'
too many comic books.
Don't hurt Leonard.
Hey, why don't you
just let the kid go,
Phillips?
He doesn't know anything.
Sure!
So he can run to Daddy
and bring back
Hackett and the heat?
Not a chance.
Looks like you kids
are stuck, finished, finito.
Compute?
This is gonna be the end
of B.R.A.T. Patrol.
Hey! Hey,
what's with all
the blinking?
Allergies.
Yeah?
Well, knock it off, okay?
You're making me
real nervous here.
My dad,
he's a master sergeant, and
he'll come lookin' for us.
Oh, sure, sweet pea.
But by that time,
I'm gonna be long gone.
You know something,
Phillips?
You're a rude dude.
PHILLIPS: Ha, ha!
That's right, but I'm
gonna be a rich one.
(LAUGHING)
Get it? Rich and rude?
(PHILLIPS SHOUTING IN PAIN)
BUG: In his eyes! In his eyes!
Hey! What's goin' on here?
And fire!
Get him down!
Get the string!
Tie him up!
Tie him up!
Get the string through here!
Come on, now, you guys!
Come on! We can't let him go!
Sorry, Phillips.
You've tangled with
the wrong set of hombres.
(GRUNTING)
Way to go, guys.
DARLA: Good job, Squeak.
DARLA: Okay,
now pull it really tight.
BUG:
Gotta let him breathe.
DARLA:
Okay, but not much.
McGEORGE:
What next, Leonard?
(GROWLING)
LEONARD: Okay...
(GROWLING)
LEONARD: Now all we gotta
do is find a way
to trap the Brunnel Brothers
in the warehouse,
find something
they can't say no to.
You mean like some
digital message
device groups
with data burst
capabilities?
Data bursts?
Come on. Where are we
gonna find one of those?
LEONARD:
Well, maybe we
won't have to.
Maybe we could
invent one.
I suppose I could come up
with a reasonable facsimile.
Forget it.
You guys don't have
the nerve to pull this off.
(YELLS)
How soon do you think
you could have one ready by?
BUG: By this afternoon.
Great.
Now all we have to do
is get in contact with them.
But, Leonard,
they'll never go for it.
They don't have
to actually see us,
just talk to us.
That's where
McGeorge comes in.
Hey, wait a minute.
LEONARD: Don't play young
with us, McGeorge.
We know you're
heavy into puberty.
Everyone knows you got
the deepest voice
out of all of us.
I'm also gonna be in
the deepest trouble
if this thing goes wrong.
Forget it, Leonard.
They'll never buy it.
Not if they talk to McGeorge.
But they will
if they think
they're talking to...
(IN ADULT VOICE)
An adult.
Your amplified
voice enhancer!
Bug, you're a genius!
(SNORTING)
BUG: (IN ADULT VOICE)
I know, Leonard.
Later, gator.
SQUEAK: Yeah, fatty.
They're never
gonna fall for this.
(DIALING)
That's negative thinking,
McGeorge.
(LINE RINGING)
(PHONE RINGING)
Brunnel Brothers.
What happened?
Wrong number.
So, let me try.
No, no.
I can't expect you
to pull this off.
It's a job for someone with
a cool vocabulary
and nerves of steel.
(LINE RINGING)
(PHONE RINGING)
Check them shocks, too,
while you're at it.
Sure.
Brunnel Brothers.
Yeah, hi, is Knife there?
You're talkin' to him.
Who's this?
The name's Stinger.
Johnny Stinger.
We got a mutual friend.
Uh, what friend?
Guy by the name of
Sergeant Phillips.
Heh. I don't know
what you're
talkin' about, pal.
I don't know
anybody named Phillips.
Sure, you do, Knife.
He works security detail
down at the air station,
told us to give you a call.
You see, we deal in hardware,
the high-tech kind.
Who's "we"?
My partner and I,
Snake.
(LAUGHING) Your partner's
got a funny name.
Yeah, well,
it's a funny business.
Look, we got some DMDGs.
Are you interested?
Well, if they're genuine,
but I don't deal
with anybody
I don't know.
Hey, you want me to hang up?
It could be real easy.
Hey, nothin's easy
in this game, pal.
Look, you could see 'em today,
at the warehouse
this afternoon.
That plan's out.
You bring 'em to me.
Yeah, but the deal was...
The deal's off.
Now, if you want
to do business,
then you bring 'em
to me tomorrow night.
I guess your
boss really doesn't
want those data
bursts after all.
Data bursts?
You got data bursts?
Nobody's got them.
Yeah, we do,
a whole crateful.
But, no sweat.
If you don't want 'em,
I could just tell
that to your boss
the next time we
see him, you know.
Have fun swimmin'
with the sharks.
Uh, all right.
All right.
We'll meet you out
there this afternoon,
just like you said.
Great. See you then.
Oh, uh, Stinger?
Yeah?
The data bursts
better be real,
or you're gonna
be real dead.
Gas up the van.
What I tell you?
Piece of cake.
I think I'm gonna
throw up.
McGEORGE:
I'm gonna attach it
down here, Leonard.
Hey, tighten up on
the wire, McGeorge.
DARLA: Hey, Bug,
how much more stuff
do we have to rig?
BUG: We're almost there.
Not now, Squeak.
I'm busy.
Look.
Wow!
Aren't those DMDGs?
Yeah.
I get it.
Phillips steals the radios
from the high
security warehouse,
then he brings 'em over here
and he stashes 'em.
Good work, Squeak.
Leonard,
we've got to talk.
Hey, hang ten, McGeorge.
I'm pumpin' up
the little fella.
One day, you and I
are gonna ride the big ones
at Waimea, buddy.
Get lost.
Leonard,
if my parents find out
we borrowed
their video camera,
I'll be grounded
for a month.
Will you relax?
It's for a good cause.
Good cause?
My father'll "good cause" me
right over the head.
And don't think
they won't appreciate
your tremendous
personal sacrifice.
Leonard,
he'll murder me!
It's a tough, lonely world.
I still don't understand
how this whole setup
is supposed to work.
Hey, Bug,
will you fill him
on this?
It's quite simple,
actually.
When the thieves
enter the warehouse,
their vehicle will trigger
the light sensor,
which will activate
the video camera
up there.
And those sets of trip wires
are rigged to detonate
these sulfur
and manure charges,
which...
Manure charges?
Stink bombs.
Chinese Nung mercenaries
have been using them
for centuries
with great success.
When the charges go off,
Squeaker will hit the lights,
which will trigger
the strobe blasts
from these halogen bulbs.
Strobe blasts? Bug!
To temporarily
impair their vision,
which will give us
ample time for our escape,
whereupon,
we will lock them inside
until the authorities arrive.
Leonard, do you think
Major Hackett will
believe us?
Of course. You're gonna be
wired for sound, buddy.
We're gonna have
the entire
transaction on tape.
Wait a minute.
That looks like my
cassette recorder.
(LAUGHING) It is.
Thanks, McGeorge.
It's really good of
you to let us use it.
(TAPE WINDING)
My clarinet lessons!
A whole year of
'em down the drain!
Sorry.
BUG: There's one last
thing I have to have,
and I'll need
some help getting it.
Got it.
(VIDEO GAME NOISES)
I'll just put this
thing back together.
Screwdriver.
Pliers.
Will you
cheer up, McGeorge?
It's not that bad.
After tonight, you're gonna
feel like a million bucks.
Right now,
I feel like two cents.
Well, it's a start.
This is gonna be
a cakewalk.
I'm talkin'
easier than the time
we raided the bake sale.
Don't remind me.
I still haven't
gotten the powdered sugar
off my jump boots.
After this is over,
we're goin' to Hawaii,
partner.
You and me doing the hula
with the cute
girls on Waikiki.
I sunburn easy,
Leonard.
It's more than
a quick tan, McGeorge.
I'm talkin'
strollin' the beach of life
in a major way.
I am talkin'
shootin' the curl of cool.
Will you stop it
already, Leonard?
I'm getting seasick.
Hey, Ray.
Two double chocolate
shakes on my tab.
Sorry. Your credit's
shot here, Leonard.
No sweat, Ray babe.
Just put 'em on
McGeorge's tab.
Thanks, pal.
Here are some
nice cling peaches, oh,
and some Bartlett pears.
They in there?
Affirmative.
Let's go pay 'em
a little visit.
Now!
How's it goin', Bug?
Almost got it.
I don't feel good
about this, Leonard.
I think we ought to go
to Major Hackett right now
and tell him what we're up to.
And ruin our
moment of triumph?
You'd deny us that?
This is our big
chance, McGeorge.
For years,
we've been
looked down on,
called rowdy
and offensive
and repugnant.
But, we are!
Nobody's perfect.
Look,
we're doin' this
for America.
For truth, justice,
and all those
ninth-grade chicks
who are gonna
fall all over us!
Ow!
Don't look now, Romeo,
but we've got problems.
Well, well,
if it isn't the stinkpots.
I thought I smelled
something in here.
Probably just
your socks, Newmeyer.
Look, I told you before
you're gonna pay
for those wisecracks.
You know what today is?
What?
Payday.
Hey, look, I don't want
any trouble in here, Chuck.
Then go play
with the whipped cream, Ray!
This is a private matter.
You guys walks around here
like you own this base,
like it's your own
personal playground.
Well, you've had
your moment of glory,
and it's over!
We're gonna walk away
with that Youth
Service Award today.
Terrific.
How about walkin'
right now?
Yeah, your feet smell.
You know, I don't think
I like the way
you're dressed.
No?
I think you need
something that...
Something a little more.
Get the picture?
Don't even think about it.
I don't believe it.
I can't take my eyes off
the B.R.A.T. Patrol
for one minute
without risking
national security.
We can explain, sir.
Explain what, Mr. Kinsey?
The youth center
is a sea of tapioca.
The little Peters girl
was struck senseless
by a scoop of pistachio.
The Davis boy splattered
with maraschino cherries.
Never mind. What have you got
to say for yourselves?
Men in war do
strange things, sir?
Hmm.
They started
the whole thing, Dad.
I am not concerned
with who started it,
Charles.
The point is that
it never should
have happened,
and you are as responsible
as the rest of them.
Therefore,
I'm volunteering
all of you
to clean up this mess
and pay the damages!
But... But, Dad!
Take it easy, Chuck.
Your face is breakin' out.
Charles, you and your men
get squared away.
The Youth
Service Awards ceremony
begins in three hours, prompt.
Dismissed.
Stop! Not you.
I'm not through with you yet.
If I was worth half my salt,
I'd have your
fathers down here and
read the riot act to them.
Unfortunately,
with Secretary Atwood
here, I don't have time.
Therefore,
until I do have time,
you are confined
to quarters indefinitely.
Is that understood?
Are you gonna clean me up?
Mmm. Major Hackett,
see that all parents
are informed.
Aye, aye, sir.
(GRUNTING)
(STRAINING)
Hey, McGeorge!
Will you quit
feeling sorry for yourself
and get down here?
Yeah!
Leonard,
what are you guys
doin' here?
I'm grounded.
Your parents
said you were, too,
for three years.
You can't ground
the B.R.A.T. Patrol.
Now, come on!
We're burnin' daylight!
What are you guys up to?
We're gonna
pull off that sting,
McGeorge,
with the general's
blessings or not.
Are you bonkers?
If they catch us this time,
they'll transfer
our parents for sure.
That's why we're
doin' it, McGeorge,
so they can't hang that
over our heads anymore.
So we can live
like free individuals
in a just and
peaceful democracy...
LEONARD: All right, Bug.
We get the picture.
McGeorge, come on!
No way. I'm not goin'.
Ready for sound check.
(HIGH-PITCHED ALARM)
Never thought a video game
could sound so good, huh?
We're talking
fear factor of 10.
I love it!
Plus, I've added an amp
to your voice enhancer
so you'll have
more volume.
Great.
Here, buddy.
Wanna plug this in?
What am I doing here?
Should be home in bed,
studying Spanish.
But this is adventurous!
What's so adventurous
about death, Leonard?
Because, that's what's
gonna happen to me
when my parents
find out I'm gone.
That's a very
positive attitude.
Bug, I think it's about time
you man your post.
Got it.
LEONARD:
What's happening, Darla?
It's all quiet
up here, Leonard.
(IN ADULT VOICE)
Testing one, two.
Testing, testing.
Testing one, two, three.
(FEEDBACK WHINES)
Hey, Squeak, come here.
Okay. Now, one blink means...
I know. Get ready.
Right.
Two blinks means
to flip the switch.
You got it?
Are you sure?
I got it, I got it.
Okay.
(CLEARING THROAT)
This is so rad.
Yeah. I'm
beginning to
feel nauseous.
Here they come,
Leonard!
All right, everybody,
get in your places!
And nobody make a move
until the deal's completed.
Come on!
(IN ADULT VOICE)
How do I look?
Like a man
who's about to die.
LEONARD: (IN ADULT VOICE)
You're late, Knife.
Don't sweat it.
We had to duck
some of your friends
on the outskirts of the base.
Where are you?
I'm here.
Well...
Why don't you
come on out here
where I can get a look
at that pretty mug of yours?
The view is fine
from here, thanks.
Let's do business.
(BAND MUSIC PLAYING)
How do you
like that band,
Mr. Secretary?
Oh, splendid, General.
One of the best
I've heard in ages.
Excellent.
This better be genuine.
LEONARD:
Don't worry. It is.
(SNICKERING)
A DMDG.
I like it, Stinger.
Just what my boss
was looking for.
Now, where's
the data bursts?
LEONARD:
In the crate
right next to you.
Joe.
Hey, load up here.
(METAL CLANGING)
DARLA:
I hope he thinks it's real.
Don't worry.
You can tell your boss
there's plenty more of those
where they came from.
He's gonna have
to deal with me directly.
Is that so?
Let's see this thing here.
All right.
Hmm.
Yeah.
I'm sick and tired of
dealing with you
little people...
Huh?
Huh?
(GASPS)
Gotcha!
Hey!
(GRUNTING AND STRUGGLING)
Watch it!
Come here!
Look what I found.
Kids!
I don't believe this.
You little brat!
Down!
Give me that.
(CHUCKLING)
Nice try, short stack,
but now you're history!
You touch us, Knife,
and you're dead meat.
You're shark bait!
Yeah?
LEONARD: Let me go!
And so are you, shrimpy.
(ALARM BLARING)
Hey! What's going on?
Who cut the juice?
Ugh! Stink bomb!
Let's go!
Let's go!
We'll ride into boot camp!
Come on, Harry,
start it up!
Get the front door!
Come on!
Yow!
Let's pulverize
that little sand duck!
Get in the tunnel!
Let's go.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(GRUNTING)
Gentlemen.
Mr. Secretary,
you're gonna be thrilled
by this group
of young people
coming up.
MAN: Forward... March.
Follow them brats,
will ya?
MAN:
But which ones, boss?
Any of 'em!
Just try to find
the other ones, will ya?
Come on!
Put it in reverse,
let's go!
(ALARM BLARING
IN DISTANCE)
(CHANTING ORDERS)
(YELLING)
Whoo!
Look, Phillips is gone.
No kidding.
(EXCLAIMING)
SQUEAK: Faster, Bug!
Then hold on, Squeak.
Welcome back, guys.
Now let's go find the general.
Those guys
just don't know
when to quit.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
Whoa!
Get over! Get over!
Ha, ha!
ALL:
Born, raised, and trapped!
LEONARD: What are we?
ALL: We're military brats!
Yeah!
(GRUNTING AND SHOUTING)
I don't believe it.
We're talking
clogged pipes.
Yeah, I planned it
that way.
When you're in
this line of business,
you've gotta take some risk...
DARLA: It's Phillips!
And then there's times
you gotta kick out
in a major way.
Move, team!
(GUNS THUMP)
Excuse me, sir.
Um...
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Secretary,
and members of the press.
We've come to that
time of year again
when we must pay recognition
to the most outstanding
group of young people
here at Marine
Corp Air Station,
El Diablo.
A group that, time and again,
have come to
the aid of others.
Look sharp, men.
This is the big one.
Get down, get down!
ALL: Whoa!
Hey!
We supposed to salute?
We're very proud
of these young men because
they represent
the very best
in America today.
Ladies and gentlemen,
will you please
give a rousing welcome
to this year's
Youth Service
Award winners...
Time to accept
that award, gentlemen.
Number one
achievers this year.
Oh, no.
Not those guys again!
Here they are...
It's Kinsey!
The pride of El Diablo...
And he's got
a military escort!
(SHOUTING)
The B.R.A.T. Patrol?
Everybody freeze!
Newmeyer, if this is
your idea
of some kind of
a surprise party,
I'm not impressed.
Mr. Secretary, please.
If you just have
a little patience,
I'll explain everything.
Oh!
Mr. Kinsey!
You're history.
Now, as of now,
you and the B.R.A.T. Patrol
are barred from
this installation
instantly,
immediately, permanently!
No, I can explain, sir.
Don't believe him, General.
Sir, I caught these
juvenile delinquents
in the felonious act...
General, this man
and his band of crooks
have been ripping
off the marines!
Would you like me to arrest
these juvenile delinquents,
sir?
Immediately.
No, General,
you gotta believe us.
We got
the crooks and the goods.
They're gonna get away.
They're lying
through their teeth!
Pardon me, general.
I believe their story.
You what?
Give them a chance
to explain themselves,
to prove themselves, sir.
If what they're
saying is true,
it's certainly worth
looking into, General.
PHILLIPS: Sir, this is just
a waste of time.
Well, this better
be on the level.
Gentlemen.
It's right over here,
General Newmeyer.
Sir, these kids,
they're just leading you
on a wild goose chase.
We'll see about that.
PHILLIPS:
This is ridiculous,
General.
I mean,
who are you
listening to, these kids?
They'll just...
They'll say anything.
LEONARD:
Check this out, dudes.
General, sir.
Well, General.
Major, arrest that man.
Cuff him.
Uh... Please!
Son, I owe you all
an apology.
As well as
a debt of thanks.
You performed
a tremendous task
here today.
In fact, you've
made us all very proud.
So much so,
I can't wait for
you to volunteer
for some more
community service.
Now, what did you say
the name of your
organization was?
(CLEARS THROAT)
The B.R.A.T. Patrol, sir.
You're a punk!
You're gonna pay, Kinsey.
You're gonna pay.
Cool out, ho-dad.
Get your hands
off me, jarhead!
And get those
guys outta the cab.
Wish we had
a radio in here.
Would have been nice.
It isn't often that
I get the privilege
of presenting an award
to such a deserving group
of young people as
we have here today.
The B.R.A.T. Patrol
has proven itself to be
a true asset here at
El Diablo Air Base.
And hence is the recipient
of this year's
Youth Service Award.
Congratulations.
SQUEAK: B.R.A.T.
Patrol, B.R.A.T. Patrol.
B.R.A.T. Patrol...
B.R.A.T. Patrol.
CROWD: (CHANTING)
B.R.A.T. Patrol,
B.R.A.T. Patrol,
B.R.A.T.
Patrol, B.R.A.T. Patrol...
(MIMICS GUNFIRE)
All right, there you go!
There's not a whole lot
a guy can say
at a time like this.
But, I'd like to
thank the little people
who made today possible.
Thanks, guys.
You know...
There comes a time
in every man's life
when he's gotta take
a good look at himself
and say,
"Hey, you're pretty
darn terrific."
Believe me, I say that
to myself every morning.
But being a surf dude,
it isn't all chicks
and beach parties.
It's something more...
Some...
BUG: (CHUCKLING)
Good work, Squeak.
LEONARD:
Great. Thanks, Squeak.
(LAUGHING)
MAN: (OVER PA)
Attention all pilots.
Pre-flight
in five minutes.
Hey, Tiny,
better hurry up.
Yeah, sure.
DAD: Kids,
breakfast is on you.
Your mom's at
the gunnery range.
DARLA'S MOM: Darla, honey,
stop by the PX after school
and get some milk,
some eggs, and... Oh!
Get a can of 10-40 oil.
MAN: (OVER PA)
Merv, you have a call
from your daughter at school.
Merv, call.
Has anybody
seen Leonard?
Saw him last night
at the youth center.
DARLA: I hope he gets
to school today.
Don't worry about Leonard.
He's probably already there.
(BUGLE ALARM SOUNDING)
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
LEONARD'S MOM:
Leonard, are you up?
LEONARD:
Since the crack
of dawn, Mom.
Well, you'd better hurry
or you'll be late
for school.
School. School!
Leonard, did you clean up
your room like your father
told you...
Clean?
...as part of your
punishment for driving
the automatic
lawnmower through
General Newmeyer's
rose garden?
Remember?
Mother... Mother,
this room is immaculate!
You could perform
major surgery in here.
Uh-huh.
Can I take a peek?
Must we spoil
such a magic moment,
Mother?
I'd like to save it to be
a surprise for all of us.
All right, dear,
breakfast is
on the table.
Breakfast is
ready, hon.
LEONARD'S DAD: I'm late.
I'll get it
at the mess hall.
All right, Kinsey,
let's go
catch some waves.
(ENGINE REVVING)
Good morning, Lieutenant.
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
Hey!
TEACHER: Owen, Nancy?
Here.
Jandi, Mark?
Here.
Kellerman, Stanley?
Here.
Slow down!
(SKATEBOARD ENGINE REVVING)
Kinsey, Leonard?
Present!
So good of you to join us,
Mr. Kinsey.
To what do we owe
the pleasure
of your company?
I wouldn't miss this
for the world, Mr. Foster.
(STUDENTS SNICKERING)
You were really pushing it
in home room today, Leonard.
Negative.
I got it covered.
Leonard, when
you bring heat
on yourself,
you bring heat on
all of
the B.R.A.T. Patrol.
We've been together
for two years
and the place
finally feels like home.
Why blow it now?
Take a fizzy, McGeorge.
You know the rules.
You make life what you can
and then you drift.
Hey, Leonard, wait up.
Gonna make a pit stop.
Hey, what do you know?
Looks like a couple of
the B.R.A.T. Patrollers
just headed into the can...
Alone.
Let's go pay
our respects, Whittle.
What do you mean you don't
think your folks
are gonna let you go?
It's gonna be educational,
for Pete's sake.
Leonard, the Roller
Devils Crash-a-thon is not
considered educational.
Of course it is.
It's a study in
human sociology.
It's a meeting
of rival factions
of mankind
colliding on
a field of
common ground.
And I do mean
colliding.
Great.
Trouble at six o'clock.
Well, look what
we found, guys.
A couple of B.R.A.T.
Patrollers playing
in the sink.
McGEORGE:
We were just leaving.
Not so fast.
We got some
serious talking to do.
About what?
About the order
of things, Kinsey.
You know, this base
used to be under control
until you clowns
showed up.
So, we figure it's
just about time to
get back to basics,
starting with
this year's upcoming
Youth Service Award.
Never heard of it.
Sure you have.
It's the annual award
given to the most
outstanding group
of young people
on base,
usually for doing
some incredible acts of
goodwill in the community.
Don't sweat it, Newmeyer.
You guys got it wired.
Yeah, well,
that's what we
thought last year,
till you worms showed up
and threw the tennis tourney
for the Blind
Children's Society.
Then gave that hokey speech
about universal brotherhood
and helping your fellow man.
You guys ended up
winning the award.
Beginner's luck.
Well, we just want to
make sure that it
doesn't happen again.
'Cause we're gonna take
this year's award,
B.R.A.T. Patrol
or no B.R.A.T. Patrol.
Let me guess.
You guys are
giving a CPR class
at the county morgue.
Wrong, wiseacre!
You see,
the junior marines is on
a humanitarian offensive.
We're gonna blow the socks
off this place
with incredible
acts of benevolence.
We can't wait.
I'm talking
warmth and kindness
to the tenth degree, Kinsey.
So stay out of our way.
You guys are dead meat.
Yeah, that's
a lovely start.
I mean it.
We're putting you
and the B.R.A.T.
Patrol on notice.
Your breath is
wrinkling my shirt,
Newmeyer.
Now back off before
I call a dry cleaner.
You know, I would love
to stay and
chat with you guys,
but the boys and I are late
for an afternoon dip
at the officer's
club swimming pool.
You know the place, Kinsey.
The one that's
off-limits to you.
See you wimps later.
Come on, boys.
Let's get wet.
It's Mr. Wimps to you!
They can't
do that to us.
Can they do that?
They just did.
They've declared open season
on the B.R.A.T. Patrol.
Better summons our people.
You don't mean...
DARLA: I wonder what ant hill
Leonard stepped on this time.
Oops! Sorry.
Hey, Bug,
don't talk back to me.
Well, are you with us?
So what gives, Leonard?
I'm missing a chem lecture
at the university.
Let alone
Little League practice.
It's gonna
have to wait, guys.
We got some problems.
We always got problems.
Yeah, but this time,
we got older ones.
Aw, no.
Not the junior
grunts again.
That's right, Bug.
Chuck Newmeyer
and his goony birds
are leaning on
us in a major way.
Thinks just 'cause his dad
is general on the base
that he can push us around.
No! We've been
pushed around
all our lives.
Moved from base to base,
school to school,
friend to friend.
And by some chance,
some twist of fate,
we've ended up here,
side by side...
To form the B.R.A.T. Patrol,
to stick together
through thick and thin,
and to alleviate boredom
no matter what
the consequences!
Well, so what are
we gonna do?
There's only
one thing to do.
(ALL GASP)
That's right, guys.
We're talking pool party.
Yeah.
Mayday, mayday, mayday.
Why'd you bring the kid?
Had to. The folks get
suspicious when I don't.
Hope he can
handle the pressure.
Ah! This is heaven.
Yeah.
The corps is a great
way of life, Whittle.
Thought after
this we'd go down
and catch some quick PT
at the weight room.
Sounds good.
Oh, uh, waiter.
Can we have another round
of beers here, please?
Yes, sir.
Thanks.
Follow right!
I've seen better fakes
from two-year-olds.
That's 14-year-olds,
so show
some respect, Pop.
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
Mitch, right over here.
Your root beer, sir.
(LAUGHING SARCASTICALLY)
All right, just put 'em
on my father's tab, huh?
Wimp.
(SCOFFING)
So, now what do we do?
I'm thinking.
I'm thinking.
Sounds familiar.
Sounds familiar.
Will you guys
cut me some slack?
Oh!
Up, up.
Yo, tennis balls.
Yeah, good ammo.
Hey, nice touch.
You packing the Fizzies?
I got the water.
We're gonna turn this pool
into one giant soda pop.
LEONARD:
Hit the H2O, McGeorge.
Hey, hold it steady.
LEONARD:
Fizz bomb two.
Oh!
LEONARD:
Let's blitzkrieg 'em.
LEONARD: Careful, careful.
Push it to the right.
All right.
Take no prisoners.
I wonder what the B.R.A.T.
Patrol is doing right now?
Probably reading
some comic books.
(EXCLAIMING)
Assume defensive
positions and take cover!
BUG: Hey, Newmeyer!
LEONARD: Good shot, Bug!
Excellent shot, Bug.
LEONARD:
Back me up, McGeorge, buddy!
Geronimo!
Throw it to me.
LEONARD: Woo-hoo!
To the left! To the left!
Got 'em!
(EXCLAIMING)
LEONARD: Yo, hit Newmeyer!
Hit Newmeyer!
Hit him to the left!
Air attack!
Yo, yo, help me out!
(LAUGHING)
Afternoon, General.
This way, sir.
I trust everything
is in order
for my assistant
Secretary of Defense
Atwood's luncheon?
Yes, sir.
Splendid.
He'll be inspecting
the base this weekend
and presenting
the Youth Service Awards.
I want everything
shipshape.
Joseph?
Yes, sir?
How's everything
out there?
Just beautiful, General.
(CHAOTIC SHOUTING)
Kinsey, you are a dead man!
Yeah, and you're
a turkey!
(EXCLAIMING)
Are you kidding me?
BUG: Nice shot.
What's the meaning
of this?
Dad! Dad!
I mean, General, sir!
Take cover!
We're under attack!
Hey, Chuck.
Code three!
I'm gonna have
your hides for this!
Come on, you guys, run!
Look! An escape vehicle!
LEONARD: Hey, I'll drive!
Let's roll!
DARLA: Wait!
Come on!
Look out!
DARLA: Hit the gas!
(PHONE RINGING)
Major Hackett.
Yes, General.
Well, did you get
a good look at 'em?
Well, it is
a pretty hot day, sir.
GENERAL NEWMEYER:
(OVER PHONE)
I don't care how hot it is!
I want those kids punished!
Well, they're basically
a group of good kids, sir.
(HORN TOOTING OUTSIDE)
No, General, I did not...
See your golf cart.
Can you give me
a brief description of it?
Uh-huh.
Mmm-hmm.
Hey! Stop!
(SHOUTING)
Hackett,
Hackett, where are you?
Just what's
going on, Hackett?
General, uh...
I'll look into
this personally.
See that you do, Hackett!
(VIDEO GAME NOISES)
Ugh!
Three hits.
Not a bad day's work.
I usually shoot
down six in a mission.
So, what brings you
to this neck of the deck,
Major?
Rumor has it
that a group of kids
raided the officer's
club today,
threw a little pool party
without proper clearance.
General asked me
to look into it.
Is that a fact?
Did he get
a good look at them?
Not really.
Seems a wave of water
hit him in the mug
before he could
make positive ID.
They also ran off
in his golf cart.
Probably the Russians.
Those Cossacks
will do anything
for a laugh.
Yeah. General seems
to think the B.R.A.T.
Patrol was involved.
What do you
think, Major?
Sounds like their MO.
Loud, reckless,
lot of unnecessary
giggling.
Pretty serious stuff,
Leonard.
Newmeyer has been
on our backs
ever since somebody
released those hamsters
at that officer's banquet.
Well, can you blame him?
It took two
weeks to get 'em out
of the air conditioning ducts.
I know.
We got stuck with the job.
That was a bum rap,
Major Hackett.
Somebody had to
take the fall, Leonard.
Now what do you know
about this pool party?
Sounds like
some kids got wet.
Yeah, so did the General.
He's very concerned.
Thinks maybe you kids
would be happier if you
were separated.
But I might be able
to talk him out of it.
He seems to want
to help you kids,
provided you bring
back the golf cart.
Now, I've discussed
it with your folks.
We've come up with
an alternative plan.
Great.
You may have to
pull some
community service.
Cut us
some slack, Major.
It's either that
or Newmeyer
can call your
parents personally.
Kiss El Diablo Air
Station good-bye.
You know, it's tough
being a kid, Major.
Try being a cop.
Oh, yeah, by the way,
we've been
getting some complaints
about a sidewalk surfer
who's been
breaking the speed limit.
If you see him,
tell him to slow down.
Semper Fi, Leonard.
Here's some more paint.
Aren't we done yet?
I don't need any help.
Thank you, sir.
Good deed number 76.
Darn junior marines.
All this for a measly dip
in a swimming pool.
You're not kidding.
Interesting.
Appears to be
a fairly advanced
sedimentary specimen
from the Precambrian
period.
Don't analyze it, Bug.
Just paint it.
Hey, Leonard.
Could you give us a hand?
Hey, I'd really like to, guys,
but I'm a paint monitor.
We're only allowed
to stir the paint.
But you're always
the paint monitor.
It's a tough job,
but somebody's
got to do it.
Don't look now, guys,
but here comes trouble.
BUG: Oh, great.
Just what we need.
LEONARD:
Eh, just ignore
those bozos.
Well, well.
If it isn't
the B.R.A.T. Patrol.
Looks like you guys
are out of the competition.
What competition?
Cool with
the camouflage, Bug.
I'm taking that trophy back.
Hey, why don't
you go play tag with
some parked cars,
okay, Newmeyer?
Oh, that's
real cute, Kinsey.
Too bad the joke's on you
and the B.R.A.T. Patrol.
Word's out all over the base
you guys are history.
Yeah?
Well, you better
check your sources,
'cause the word is wrong.
I have, hot shot.
See, my dad
and everyone else on base
is getting ready for
Secretary Atwood's
visit this weekend.
You guys are
persona non grata.
You know what that means?
You're a baboon?
How about that?
Wimpy can talk.
Yeah, well,
he's trained to spot fools.
You know,
Kinsey, you've always
got something
real smart to say.
I'm startin' to
get a little steamed.
Yeah? Then why
don't you cool off?
(LAUGHING)
My clothes...
They're wet.
War is hell.
You guys want
to be stones?
LEONARD:
Hold your ground, men.
BUG:
That a way, Squeak.
Chuck?
LEONARD:
Hey, chill out, McGeorge.
Kinsey, one day
I'm gonna bump into you
when you don't have
these nerds here
to back you up!
BUG: Nerds?
Hold on, Bug!
Now, if you guys don't want
to be uncommon denominators,
you better just
back off, okay?
Sometimes you go too far!
My helmet.
Man, that was close.
Thanks, guys.
That could have
gotten real ugly.
Leonard, do we have to
paint any more rocks?
No, big guy.
Good.
If I never see
another rock again,
it'll be too soon.
Yeah. Now I know
what prison's like.
You break rocks
in prison, Bug.
You don't paint 'em.
WOMAN: (OVER RADIO)
Unit 7-1-9er, this is
Eagle's Nest. Come in.
Yo, dudes, what was that?
Unit 7-1-9er,
this is Eagle's Nest.
Do you read?
Come in, 7-1-9er.
Whoa, Check out this
MP Vehicle.
Yeah, I wonder
what it's doin'
way out here.
And there's not
an MP in sight.
They're not supposed
to leave their
vehicles unattended.
Maybe he went
to the bathroom.
Bug!
This is Eagle's Nest.
Come in.
Merely conjecture.
MAN: (OVER RADIO)
Roger, Eagle's Nest.
This is Unit 7-1-9er.
Read you loud and clear.
WOMAN:
Lock in 7-1-9er.
McGEORGE:
It's a voice-activated
playback device?
DARLA:
What a good fake-out.
Radical.
WOMAN: (OVER RADIO)
7-1-9er, requesting
a security check
for proper code name
and voice tone, over.
MAN: (OVER RADIO)
Affirmative, Eagle's Nest.
This is MP Unit
7-1-9er in Sector K-2-6.
Code name for this
hour is Desert Pup.
Security number
Delta Bravo Sierra
2-6-1-1-8.
WOMAN: (OVER RADIO)
Roger, Unit 7-1-9er.
Security check complete.
Eagle's Nest out.
Well, that was weird.
Perplexing.
I haven't heard
that many numbers
since my trig
exam last semester.
This is too funky.
I'm gonna take a look around.
LEONARD: How about that
warehouse over there?
DARLA: Yeah, good idea.
Keep it down.
(WHISTLING TUNEFULLY)
Get back.
(WHISTLING CONTINUES)
Ah! (MUTTERS)
Come on! Let's go!
Come on. Let's go.
MAN 1: Where you been?
MAN 2: Hey, what's it to you?
You know those guys?
Never seen them
before in my life.
LEONARD: That one guy's
definitely not a marine.
Something's rotten in Denmark.
I'm going in
for a closer look.
Leonard,
that could be
dangerous.
I'm not just gonna
sit here and do nothing.
You guys wait here.
I'm going with him.
No, you don't,
not without us.
Wait for me.
All right, what do you
got for me this time?
A surprise.
Hey, my boss
don't like surprises,
okay?
But he's gonna
like these.
Only top-quality stuff.
What is this?
What do you mean,
"What is this"?
PRC-70.
It's what you wanted.
(SHUSHING)
Hey, Sherlock.
You cover us
down here, Squeak.
Darn.
These are just
old field radios.
I'm interested in
the high-tech stuff.
I can get these
for a dime a dozen.
Where's the digital
message device groups?
Whoa! DMDGs.
We're talkin'
high-tech radios.
KNIFE:
You playin' games
with me, jarhead?
Just relax, Knife, okay?
I'll get 'em to
you soon as I can.
Soon as you can
ain't good enough.
My boss wants
'em yesterday,
and if I don't get 'em,
I'm gonna be swimmin'
with the sharks
off Coronado.
And I hate sharks.
They make me
real nervous.
Yeah, well,
me too, Knife.
I can't move too quickly.
There's security
all over this base.
Look, let's get
somethin' straight.
If I don't get
the device groups,
not only am I shark bait,
but you're the appetizer.
Okay.
Okay,
I'll get you the DMDGs...
By Sunday.
Sunday?
Secretary Atwood's gonna be
visiting the base on Sunday.
I don't care.
Just get 'em,
or you're gonna
be kissin' cousins
with a hammerhead.
Heh! She's
a beauty, huh?
$300 apiece.
(CHUCKLES) No.
You said six.
Four.
Done.
(GLASS SHATTERING)
What's that?
Check it out.
Yes, sir.
KNIFE: And, Harry,
you check out back.
Don't see nothin', boss.
What are you guys
so nervous about?
I got things covered.
Just... Let's just
all take it easy, okay?
People who take it
easy in this business
don't last very long,
Phillips.
Harry!
What are you doin'
just standin' there?
Get out back!
Move!
(EXHALES)
That was a close one.
No foolin'.
I think I stepped
on a burrito.
Yuck!
McGEORGE:
Let's get outta here.
Okay, boss, all loaded.
Been nice doin' business
with you, Phillips.
I'll see you in
a couple of days.
What's the matter,
Phillips?
Don't you trust me?
(VAN ENGINE STARTS)
(LAUGHING)
(SNICKERING)
Stay down, Squeaker.
SQUEAK: You always say that.
I don't know who
those clowns are,
but I think someone's
rippin' off
the marine corps.
What should we do?
Well, let's go
to General Newmeyer.
Yeah. He'll probably
give us a medal for this.
SQUEAK:
Hey, wait up, guys!
So, how'd it go?
It didn't.
What do you mean by that?
It means we
struck out totally.
Newmeyer didn't
believe you?
They wouldn't
even let us see him,
because they
said he was too busy
getting ready
for Secretary Atwood's
visit.
McGEORGE:
Nobody listens to kids.
Hey, McGeorge,
what about you?
What'd your parents say?
Told me to stop
readin' comic books.
Mine, too.
My dad told me to
stick to baseball.
That means we're sunk.
Not yet,
it doesn't, big guy.
Take a good look
at Mr. Life Jacket.
Come on, guys.
I figured your youth and
inexperience in these matters
would compromise our mission.
So?
So I went to my dad,
told him the whole
unbelievable story.
You did?
And he believed you?
Well, what can I say, guys?
The man worships me.
In fact, he's in
talkin' to Major Hackett
right now.
Should be only
a matter of minutes
till we're nominated
for a congressional
commendation.
I've got to
see this, Leonard.
Ow!
MAJOR HACKETT:
Thanks for stopping in,
Gunny.
GUNNY: No problem, sir.
MAJOR HACKETT:
Okay, Gunny,
what's the story?
All right now,
try not to act
too surprised
if they want to fly us
to Washington, okay?
GUNNY:
It's kind of complicated.
MAJOR HACKETT:
Just give it
to me straight.
GUNNY: Major, we are doing
everything we can think of
to discourage Leonard's
vivid imagination.
MAJOR HACKETT:
I'm well aware of that,
and so is General Newmeyer.
That's why he's
considering removing your
family from the base
if you can't
control your son.
GUNNY: Controlling Leonard,
Major, is like trying to
bottle a hurricane.
MAJOR HACKETT:
Still, you have to try.
And please have
a talk with him
about those
espionage stories.
In fact, I'm calling
all the B.R.A.T.
Patrol parents
and advising them
to do the same thing.
Now, I need not
tell you, Gunny,
that the general
is getting fed up.
GUNNY:
Say no more, Major.
I'll make sure
Leonard behaves
if I have to
ground him for a month.
(GASPS)
So much for your
dad helping us.
Let's ride, guys.
Great.
Nobody believes us.
What we need
is some proof.
What kind of proof?
Hmm. A spotted
Sierra salamander.
I didn't think they
roamed this far south.
Bug, we're tracking thieves,
not lizards.
I'm really tired,
you guys.
Hear that, Leonard?
The kid's fading.
There's nothin' out
here but blisters.
LEONARD:
Are you okay, McGeorge?
Well, you wanted
hard evidence, McGeorge,
I'd say you got it.
Great. Now, will you
help me up, Leonard?
I feel like
a waffle down here.
That was a big one,
all right.
Yeah, maybe even wide enough
to drive a car through.
Or a van?
What do you got, Bug?
Appears to be
the standard
fence line dupe
currently in use
along our
Southern borders.
Can you give me
an ETE?
Judging by
the oxidation marks,
I'd say this has been
used a number of times.
It's not the first,
Leonard.
Darla, how about
tire tracks?
Negative, Leonard.
What do you think?
Strictly professional.
This has been
going on for months.
I'd say there must be three
or four more on the outside.
Yeah,
but who's the inside guy?
Good point, kid.
Anybody get
a good look at him?
Sure. He was
a redhead guy
about 6'2".
Nah, that's 5'11",
Darla, with dark hair.
Not quite, Bug.
He was six even
with blonde hair.
No way, McGeorge.
He was short and fat
with a mustache.
(LAUGHING)
We're in
great shape, guys.
All we gotta do is
find a short redhead
with blonde eyebrows
and a dark mustache,
possibly 20 pounds
overweight.
Should be a cinch.
(GRUNTING)
(PHONE RINGING)
Hello.
Yeah, hang on.
Yo, Knife!
Telephone!
Yeah?
We got trouble.
What kind of trouble?
Kid trouble.
That's your department,
Phillips.
Get rid of 'em.
(DIAL TONE)
Hey. Hello?
Ow, wait!
Well, you gotta believe us!
I'm talking major proof!
Yeah, like your
Bigfoot sightings
and encounters
with the UFOs last year?
Major Hackett, please!
B.R.A.T.'s honor!
(LEONARD GRUNTING)
(DOOR SHUTS)
(EXHALES)
This is the place, sir.
You're gonna love this,
Major Hackett.
It's right over here.
What's over there?
This is weird.
I don't get it.
What's goin' on? Huh?
Okay, what's up, Leonard?
I don't believe this.
It was here this morning!
Kinsey, if this is
another one of your pranks...
It isn't, Major.
He's telling the truth.
This fence line was phony.
It had a hole
big enough to
drive a van through.
Yeah?
I don't see any tire tracks.
Well, the thieves
must have covered 'em up.
What about the fence, huh?
It was cut. I swear it.
This is base property, boys.
If this fence was cut,
somebody would
have reported it.
That's just it, Major.
Somebody didn't.
(SIGHING) Leonard,
I want to believe you boys.
I really do.
But I don't see
any proof. Uh-uh.
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
Ha!
(EXCLAIMING
ANGRILY)
Knew those B.R.A.T.s
were up to something.
Call a board meeting.
Thanks for coming today
on such short notice,
gentlemen.
I know that some of you
are missing judo
practice to be here.
We've got trouble.
BOY: You don't mean
the B.R.A.T. Patrol again.
Precisely.
We are talking
about a group of kids
that has no values,
no concept of
duty or purpose.
Kids that only have
one goal in life...
To have fun.
Now they're trying to take
the Youth Service
Award away from us,
for the second year in a row.
But we want it back!
They're not gonna
pull it off,
because we've compiled
a list of such
immense charity
that it brings
tears to my eyes
just to read it!
Demonstrated,
once again,
that we're not just nice.
We're super.
There are only two
days left, gentlemen.
Two days until
the awards ceremony.
Intelligence indicates
the B.R.A.T. Patrol
is launching
a major offensive.
Will, I want you to
form a junior
lifesaving class.
Get those kids involved,
and I want their
mothers to see it.
Sure thing, Chuck.
Mason, you and some other
men go to the local
old folks home.
Feed their pets,
empty their trash...
Look, oil their wheelchairs!
I don't care!
I want to see kindness,
gentlemen!
B.R.A.T.
Patrol wants to play dirty...
We'll play dirtier!
Look, we've tried to go
through proper
channels with this thing,
but we've been shut down.
So, what are we gonna do?
Simple. The B.R.A.T. Patrol
is gonna catch
the crooks in the act.
Time out, Leonard.
Catching crooks is not as easy
as snaring bullfrogs
down at Dead Men's Creek.
I mean,
it could be dangerous.
Dangerous?
We've never shirked
from danger before.
But, we're just kids.
Not just kids, McGeorge.
B.R.A.T. Patrollers, sworn by
secret oath to
uphold truth, justice,
and the calamity
of reckless youth.
Without us,
this base would be boring.
(GROANING)
Darla, I want you
to get that
vehicle's ID number.
See if you can
find out exactly
who was on duty that day.
Gotcha.
Bug, hit the data
processing center.
Get to the computer and see
if you can run
a make on that '82 van.
Take Squeak as a cover.
SQUEAK: All right!
Right.
But it's illegal.
It's for a good cause.
Now will you quit foolin'
around with that thing?
This is serious.
Right.
McGEORGE:
We'll be grounded for life.
So, if you get
into any trouble,
use these.
Wow! Chocolate grenades!
We haven't used these
since you dropped one
in front of the big line
at the movie theater.
LEONARD:
We got in free, didn't we?
Hey, cool it with
the ammo, Squeak.
All right, McGeorge,
you're stickin' with me.
Do I have to?
Yes, you do.
We gotta get to that
warehouse and find out
how many DMDGs are missing.
Not the security warehouse,
the one that's
totally off limits?
That's the one.
I knew you'd be thrilled.
We're gonna gather
more evidence, McGeorge.
Pull a little recon
into no-man's land.
Leonard, please.
Go with me, big guy.
Every time I do,
I get stuck
in the hot seat.
(LAUGHING) With me.
ALL:
Born, raised, and trapped!
LEONARD: What are we?
ALL: We're military brats!
This is gonna get nuts.
(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)
Can I help you?
Uh, yes.
My younger brother and myself
are doing a research paper
on contemporary
communication in
American society,
with emphasis
on its potential
ramification
to future
neoclassic assemblages.
Hmm. Yeah, right.
Would you mind terribly
if we were to
take a look around
at your data systems?
Corporal Thomas?
You want to take these two
on a tour of the complex?
Sure thing.
Come this way, boys.
(SIGHING) And here we have
your basic data banks
with the non-classified
code system.
Oh, no, no, no,
not a good idea.
(CHUCKLES)
And, uh, right over
here is where we
keep all our software.
You cover me.
Pardon me,
Corporal, what's that?
How's it work?
Uh, this is
the control processor.
This does all the thinking
for the whole center.
What's that?
Oh, that... Oh, no.
SQUEAK: Don't worry.
I won't touch anything.
(ITEMS CRASHING)
Whoops!
I hardly touched it.
SQUEAK: What's this?
CORPORAL THOMAS:
It's a broken data bank.
What's that?
It's a programming
disk.
What's that?
Oh, that's
the console area.
Hey, where'd that
other kid go?
To the bathroom.
What's that?
That's a wastepaper
basket.
What's that?
Oh, no.
Bingo.
I've only got
the table updates
on this inventory.
Now if you'd like,
I can check for you.
It'll take a few minutes.
Hey!
Hold it right there,
you two.
Yes, Sergeant?
Did you kids find
what you were
looking for?
Yes, Sergeant,
we certainly did.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
No, just give me
a few minutes, sir.
(HORN HONKING)
Get down, McGeorge.
We're talkin'
a high-security area.
I got it, Leonard.
You with me?
LEONARD: Remember, dude,
the focus of this mission
is to document
the serial numbers
of the DMDGs,
then we double back
and cross-check.
McGEORGE: That's very
interesting, Leonard,
but I care more
about my personal safety.
I don't know what
this is gonna prove,
Leonard.
It's evidence, McGeorge.
If we can match up
the stolen radios
with the serial numbers
on these crates,
we can gain
some credibility.
Okay, Leonard,
we've got enough.
Let's high-tail
it out of here.
Kick back, McGeorge.
Kick back?
If they catch us in here,
we'll be kickin'
back in the clink.
They'll have us
painting addresses
on curbs again.
Glory is not
without risk.
Okay, Leonard,
I didn't mean it.
I'll stay.
Will you mellow out,
McGeorge?
I'm just gonna use it
to open the crate.
Beautiful, isn't it?
Yeah, sure is.
What is it?
Digital Message
Device Group,
the newest
communication gear
in the field.
This is what those
crooks are after.
Sorry to spoil a love affair,
but we gotta make tracks.
Yeah.
(CAMERA CLICKS)
Well, if it isn't
the soldiers of misfortune.
Caught in a area
that's off limits.
Off limits?
You don't know
anything about any
off limits area,
do you, McGeorge?
Sure don't, Leonard.
You see that? Heh!
You guys made a mistake.
Catch you guys later.
(CHUCKLING)
Not so fast, Kinsey.
You got a lot of
explaining to do.
Bluebird,
this is Sparrow Hawk.
We get a security
violation in Sector K-26.
Request assistance
on the double.
MAN: (OVER RADIO) 10-4.
Must be nice
when your dad's
a bigwig on base.
Yeah, too bad the boy's
got an acne problem.
Maybe it'd
develop into something.
Oh, you're
real cute, Kinsey.
You can blame that
one on my parents.
Look, we're gettin'
real sick and tired
of you B.R.A.T.
Patrollers gettin' away
with murder
around here.
You know what you guys need?
A trip to Maui?
Not quite, kahuna!
What's this?
Just a grenade.
A what?
(EXPLOSION SOUNDS)
Hmm.
And you say you
found these two
in the security sector.
Yes, sir, General.
We rolled on the call
the minute we got it
from the junior marines.
Anything else, Corporal?
Yes, sir.
Found this on them.
Thank you.
That'll be all, Corporal.
(CLEARING THROAT)
So, you two
have reverted
to trespassing
and chocolate
grenades, huh?
Look, I can explain, sir.
You're at attention!
Now, don't you
realize that grenades,
chocolate or otherwise,
are dangerous?
SOLDIER 1:
Grenade! Hit the deck!
SOLDIER 2: Holy cow!
What was that?
Good reactions, men.
Keep up the good work.
Outstanding!
SOLDIER 1: Thank you, sir.
SOLDIER 2: All right,
ladies, knock it off.
As I was saying,
I'm a very busy man,
gentlemen.
I have an air station
to run,
yet time and time again,
I find myself
having to contact parents
because of some wild prank
that's pulled
by the B.R.A.T. Patrol.
Perhaps,
junior marine Newmeyer
could shed some light
on your behavior.
Well, sir, as I see it,
the B.R.A.T. Patrol
has no discipline,
maintains a total
lack of direction,
and generally
disregards regulations.
Thank you, Charles.
Now,
take a good look,
gentlemen.
Here's a group of young people
who are going places.
I look forward to
their presence at
the Youth Service Awards
on Sunday.
You guys parking
cars again this year?
They're not carhops,
Mr. Kinsey.
They are community leaders,
tough, dedicated, strong.
But can they get girls?
Girls?
There are more
important things in life
than girls, gentlemen.
Sometimes.
Community service.
Community service.
Ow!
Gee, Leonard,
it's been
a terrific day.
Whatever happened
to that speech you gave
about international
intrigue and danger?
This is adventurous,
McGeorge.
You think they let just
anyone work with this
kind of equipment?
You want international
flavor, you got it.
This sponge was
made in Brazil, okay?
And that mop you got there,
it was made in Taiwan.
Taiwan, McGeorge!
I'm talkin' Asia.
Hey, how's it goin', boys?
Perfect, Major.
Just about to pop open
another can of cleanser...
From Europe.
It's not a job.
It's an adventure.
Well, I hate
to spoil your fun,
but how would you guys
like to get out of this
little adventure?
What do we have to do?
How's about trying
a little honesty,
like telling me
what you two guys
were doing
in that high security
area yesterday?
That's what we've been
trying to tell you all along.
We were gathering evidence.
Evidence?
Yes, evidence against the guys
in the van we told you about.
Come on, not this again,
boys, please.
It's the truth, Major.
Like your luncheon
with the leprechaun?
Hey, that little
fella could really eat.
Yeah, I know, Kinsey.
You stung me with the tab.
The guy turned out to
be a monkey in a green suit.
Look, you guys are gonna
have to stop spreading
these wild stories
around the base.
You're scaring
people to death.
Last month,
when you had
the cattle drive
through the general's
backyard party, it almost
caused a stampede.
It was a Western rodeo.
Western barbecue.
You're supposed
to eat cows there,
McGeorge,
not ride them.
(SIGHING)
I'd like to
help you guys out,
but first, you're gonna
have to help yourselves.
(BAND MUSIC BEGINS)
Mr. Secretary, I'd like
to welcome you to El Diablo.
I beg your pardon?
Welcome to El Diablo, sir!
Thank you for that.
Very appropriate.
Right this way, sir.
Junior marines!
Present arms!
At ease.
Screen's in place,
Leonard.
All right, Squeak!
Way to go, buddy.
At approximately 11:30
yesterday morning,
operator Squeaker and I
entered the base
computer center
and gained access
to its data systems.
We ran the description
of the van
and came up with
a name and address.
Brunnel Brothers
Salvage and Wrecking,
176 South Montecito Boulevard.
They do good work
for reasonable rates
and seem to...
Stick to the basics, Bug.
It seems the Brunnel Brothers
are some pretty rough
characters.
Before they went
into the auto repair
business,
they owned a liquor store.
Got their license revoked
for selling to minors.
And here's where
it gets real interesting.
Before they owned
that liquor store,
they ran
a military surplus store
down in Ridgemont.
Seems the Brunnel Brothers
were put off of
business by Uncle Sam.
The ATF had them
under investigation
for selling weapons.
What kind of weapons?
The automatic kind.
Does that van
look familiar?
Hey, that's the one we saw
goin' into the warehouse.
Precisely.
Looks like
the Brunnel Brothers are
involved in a little
more than just dents.
Good work, Bug.
Well, my on-base investigation
proved positive, too, guys.
I spotted this vehicle
parked in front of the PX,
and it matches
the same one we saw
parked by the warehouse
the other day.
And this is the man
who was driving it.
So I did some
checking on him,
and he's got clearance
into the warehouse,
and he was
on duty that day.
Are you sure?
Yeah, I checked
the work status shift
in my dad's office.
If he finds out,
he'll kill me.
LEONARD: Nice work, Darla.
It's not
lookin' too hot, gang.
We got a lot of evidence,
but it's still not enough
to put
Phillips and his pals
in the slammer.
Maybe we should
go back to our parents.
Maybe they'll
believe us now.
No, I already tried that.
They made me mow
the lawn again.
The time for action
on our parts is now, gang!
For years,
the B.R.A.T. Patrol
has been laughed at,
kicked around,
and made to
feel like children.
Not anymore.
We are gonna
draw the Brunnel Brothers
out into the open
and trap them in
their own dirty game.
DARLA: But, Leonard,
it's dangerous.
Danger is my middle name.
Not so fast, Kinsey.
BUG:
Get your hands off him!
Hey! Get back there!
SQUEAK: Leonard.
DARLA: Please let him go.
SQUEAK: Let him go.
You kids aren't
goin' anywhere.
(CRYING)
So, you guys thought
you were gonna
set us up, huh?
Well, you been readin'
too many comic books.
Don't hurt Leonard.
Hey, why don't you
just let the kid go,
Phillips?
He doesn't know anything.
Sure!
So he can run to Daddy
and bring back
Hackett and the heat?
Not a chance.
Looks like you kids
are stuck, finished, finito.
Compute?
This is gonna be the end
of B.R.A.T. Patrol.
Hey! Hey,
what's with all
the blinking?
Allergies.
Yeah?
Well, knock it off, okay?
You're making me
real nervous here.
My dad,
he's a master sergeant, and
he'll come lookin' for us.
Oh, sure, sweet pea.
But by that time,
I'm gonna be long gone.
You know something,
Phillips?
You're a rude dude.
PHILLIPS: Ha, ha!
That's right, but I'm
gonna be a rich one.
(LAUGHING)
Get it? Rich and rude?
(PHILLIPS SHOUTING IN PAIN)
BUG: In his eyes! In his eyes!
Hey! What's goin' on here?
And fire!
Get him down!
Get the string!
Tie him up!
Tie him up!
Get the string through here!
Come on, now, you guys!
Come on! We can't let him go!
Sorry, Phillips.
You've tangled with
the wrong set of hombres.
(GRUNTING)
Way to go, guys.
DARLA: Good job, Squeak.
DARLA: Okay,
now pull it really tight.
BUG:
Gotta let him breathe.
DARLA:
Okay, but not much.
McGEORGE:
What next, Leonard?
(GROWLING)
LEONARD: Okay...
(GROWLING)
LEONARD: Now all we gotta
do is find a way
to trap the Brunnel Brothers
in the warehouse,
find something
they can't say no to.
You mean like some
digital message
device groups
with data burst
capabilities?
Data bursts?
Come on. Where are we
gonna find one of those?
LEONARD:
Well, maybe we
won't have to.
Maybe we could
invent one.
I suppose I could come up
with a reasonable facsimile.
Forget it.
You guys don't have
the nerve to pull this off.
(YELLS)
How soon do you think
you could have one ready by?
BUG: By this afternoon.
Great.
Now all we have to do
is get in contact with them.
But, Leonard,
they'll never go for it.
They don't have
to actually see us,
just talk to us.
That's where
McGeorge comes in.
Hey, wait a minute.
LEONARD: Don't play young
with us, McGeorge.
We know you're
heavy into puberty.
Everyone knows you got
the deepest voice
out of all of us.
I'm also gonna be in
the deepest trouble
if this thing goes wrong.
Forget it, Leonard.
They'll never buy it.
Not if they talk to McGeorge.
But they will
if they think
they're talking to...
(IN ADULT VOICE)
An adult.
Your amplified
voice enhancer!
Bug, you're a genius!
(SNORTING)
BUG: (IN ADULT VOICE)
I know, Leonard.
Later, gator.
SQUEAK: Yeah, fatty.
They're never
gonna fall for this.
(DIALING)
That's negative thinking,
McGeorge.
(LINE RINGING)
(PHONE RINGING)
Brunnel Brothers.
What happened?
Wrong number.
So, let me try.
No, no.
I can't expect you
to pull this off.
It's a job for someone with
a cool vocabulary
and nerves of steel.
(LINE RINGING)
(PHONE RINGING)
Check them shocks, too,
while you're at it.
Sure.
Brunnel Brothers.
Yeah, hi, is Knife there?
You're talkin' to him.
Who's this?
The name's Stinger.
Johnny Stinger.
We got a mutual friend.
Uh, what friend?
Guy by the name of
Sergeant Phillips.
Heh. I don't know
what you're
talkin' about, pal.
I don't know
anybody named Phillips.
Sure, you do, Knife.
He works security detail
down at the air station,
told us to give you a call.
You see, we deal in hardware,
the high-tech kind.
Who's "we"?
My partner and I,
Snake.
(LAUGHING) Your partner's
got a funny name.
Yeah, well,
it's a funny business.
Look, we got some DMDGs.
Are you interested?
Well, if they're genuine,
but I don't deal
with anybody
I don't know.
Hey, you want me to hang up?
It could be real easy.
Hey, nothin's easy
in this game, pal.
Look, you could see 'em today,
at the warehouse
this afternoon.
That plan's out.
You bring 'em to me.
Yeah, but the deal was...
The deal's off.
Now, if you want
to do business,
then you bring 'em
to me tomorrow night.
I guess your
boss really doesn't
want those data
bursts after all.
Data bursts?
You got data bursts?
Nobody's got them.
Yeah, we do,
a whole crateful.
But, no sweat.
If you don't want 'em,
I could just tell
that to your boss
the next time we
see him, you know.
Have fun swimmin'
with the sharks.
Uh, all right.
All right.
We'll meet you out
there this afternoon,
just like you said.
Great. See you then.
Oh, uh, Stinger?
Yeah?
The data bursts
better be real,
or you're gonna
be real dead.
Gas up the van.
What I tell you?
Piece of cake.
I think I'm gonna
throw up.
McGEORGE:
I'm gonna attach it
down here, Leonard.
Hey, tighten up on
the wire, McGeorge.
DARLA: Hey, Bug,
how much more stuff
do we have to rig?
BUG: We're almost there.
Not now, Squeak.
I'm busy.
Look.
Wow!
Aren't those DMDGs?
Yeah.
I get it.
Phillips steals the radios
from the high
security warehouse,
then he brings 'em over here
and he stashes 'em.
Good work, Squeak.
Leonard,
we've got to talk.
Hey, hang ten, McGeorge.
I'm pumpin' up
the little fella.
One day, you and I
are gonna ride the big ones
at Waimea, buddy.
Get lost.
Leonard,
if my parents find out
we borrowed
their video camera,
I'll be grounded
for a month.
Will you relax?
It's for a good cause.
Good cause?
My father'll "good cause" me
right over the head.
And don't think
they won't appreciate
your tremendous
personal sacrifice.
Leonard,
he'll murder me!
It's a tough, lonely world.
I still don't understand
how this whole setup
is supposed to work.
Hey, Bug,
will you fill him
on this?
It's quite simple,
actually.
When the thieves
enter the warehouse,
their vehicle will trigger
the light sensor,
which will activate
the video camera
up there.
And those sets of trip wires
are rigged to detonate
these sulfur
and manure charges,
which...
Manure charges?
Stink bombs.
Chinese Nung mercenaries
have been using them
for centuries
with great success.
When the charges go off,
Squeaker will hit the lights,
which will trigger
the strobe blasts
from these halogen bulbs.
Strobe blasts? Bug!
To temporarily
impair their vision,
which will give us
ample time for our escape,
whereupon,
we will lock them inside
until the authorities arrive.
Leonard, do you think
Major Hackett will
believe us?
Of course. You're gonna be
wired for sound, buddy.
We're gonna have
the entire
transaction on tape.
Wait a minute.
That looks like my
cassette recorder.
(LAUGHING) It is.
Thanks, McGeorge.
It's really good of
you to let us use it.
(TAPE WINDING)
My clarinet lessons!
A whole year of
'em down the drain!
Sorry.
BUG: There's one last
thing I have to have,
and I'll need
some help getting it.
Got it.
(VIDEO GAME NOISES)
I'll just put this
thing back together.
Screwdriver.
Pliers.
Will you
cheer up, McGeorge?
It's not that bad.
After tonight, you're gonna
feel like a million bucks.
Right now,
I feel like two cents.
Well, it's a start.
This is gonna be
a cakewalk.
I'm talkin'
easier than the time
we raided the bake sale.
Don't remind me.
I still haven't
gotten the powdered sugar
off my jump boots.
After this is over,
we're goin' to Hawaii,
partner.
You and me doing the hula
with the cute
girls on Waikiki.
I sunburn easy,
Leonard.
It's more than
a quick tan, McGeorge.
I'm talkin'
strollin' the beach of life
in a major way.
I am talkin'
shootin' the curl of cool.
Will you stop it
already, Leonard?
I'm getting seasick.
Hey, Ray.
Two double chocolate
shakes on my tab.
Sorry. Your credit's
shot here, Leonard.
No sweat, Ray babe.
Just put 'em on
McGeorge's tab.
Thanks, pal.
Here are some
nice cling peaches, oh,
and some Bartlett pears.
They in there?
Affirmative.
Let's go pay 'em
a little visit.
Now!
How's it goin', Bug?
Almost got it.
I don't feel good
about this, Leonard.
I think we ought to go
to Major Hackett right now
and tell him what we're up to.
And ruin our
moment of triumph?
You'd deny us that?
This is our big
chance, McGeorge.
For years,
we've been
looked down on,
called rowdy
and offensive
and repugnant.
But, we are!
Nobody's perfect.
Look,
we're doin' this
for America.
For truth, justice,
and all those
ninth-grade chicks
who are gonna
fall all over us!
Ow!
Don't look now, Romeo,
but we've got problems.
Well, well,
if it isn't the stinkpots.
I thought I smelled
something in here.
Probably just
your socks, Newmeyer.
Look, I told you before
you're gonna pay
for those wisecracks.
You know what today is?
What?
Payday.
Hey, look, I don't want
any trouble in here, Chuck.
Then go play
with the whipped cream, Ray!
This is a private matter.
You guys walks around here
like you own this base,
like it's your own
personal playground.
Well, you've had
your moment of glory,
and it's over!
We're gonna walk away
with that Youth
Service Award today.
Terrific.
How about walkin'
right now?
Yeah, your feet smell.
You know, I don't think
I like the way
you're dressed.
No?
I think you need
something that...
Something a little more.
Get the picture?
Don't even think about it.
I don't believe it.
I can't take my eyes off
the B.R.A.T. Patrol
for one minute
without risking
national security.
We can explain, sir.
Explain what, Mr. Kinsey?
The youth center
is a sea of tapioca.
The little Peters girl
was struck senseless
by a scoop of pistachio.
The Davis boy splattered
with maraschino cherries.
Never mind. What have you got
to say for yourselves?
Men in war do
strange things, sir?
Hmm.
They started
the whole thing, Dad.
I am not concerned
with who started it,
Charles.
The point is that
it never should
have happened,
and you are as responsible
as the rest of them.
Therefore,
I'm volunteering
all of you
to clean up this mess
and pay the damages!
But... But, Dad!
Take it easy, Chuck.
Your face is breakin' out.
Charles, you and your men
get squared away.
The Youth
Service Awards ceremony
begins in three hours, prompt.
Dismissed.
Stop! Not you.
I'm not through with you yet.
If I was worth half my salt,
I'd have your
fathers down here and
read the riot act to them.
Unfortunately,
with Secretary Atwood
here, I don't have time.
Therefore,
until I do have time,
you are confined
to quarters indefinitely.
Is that understood?
Are you gonna clean me up?
Mmm. Major Hackett,
see that all parents
are informed.
Aye, aye, sir.
(GRUNTING)
(STRAINING)
Hey, McGeorge!
Will you quit
feeling sorry for yourself
and get down here?
Yeah!
Leonard,
what are you guys
doin' here?
I'm grounded.
Your parents
said you were, too,
for three years.
You can't ground
the B.R.A.T. Patrol.
Now, come on!
We're burnin' daylight!
What are you guys up to?
We're gonna
pull off that sting,
McGeorge,
with the general's
blessings or not.
Are you bonkers?
If they catch us this time,
they'll transfer
our parents for sure.
That's why we're
doin' it, McGeorge,
so they can't hang that
over our heads anymore.
So we can live
like free individuals
in a just and
peaceful democracy...
LEONARD: All right, Bug.
We get the picture.
McGeorge, come on!
No way. I'm not goin'.
Ready for sound check.
(HIGH-PITCHED ALARM)
Never thought a video game
could sound so good, huh?
We're talking
fear factor of 10.
I love it!
Plus, I've added an amp
to your voice enhancer
so you'll have
more volume.
Great.
Here, buddy.
Wanna plug this in?
What am I doing here?
Should be home in bed,
studying Spanish.
But this is adventurous!
What's so adventurous
about death, Leonard?
Because, that's what's
gonna happen to me
when my parents
find out I'm gone.
That's a very
positive attitude.
Bug, I think it's about time
you man your post.
Got it.
LEONARD:
What's happening, Darla?
It's all quiet
up here, Leonard.
(IN ADULT VOICE)
Testing one, two.
Testing, testing.
Testing one, two, three.
(FEEDBACK WHINES)
Hey, Squeak, come here.
Okay. Now, one blink means...
I know. Get ready.
Right.
Two blinks means
to flip the switch.
You got it?
Are you sure?
I got it, I got it.
Okay.
(CLEARING THROAT)
This is so rad.
Yeah. I'm
beginning to
feel nauseous.
Here they come,
Leonard!
All right, everybody,
get in your places!
And nobody make a move
until the deal's completed.
Come on!
(IN ADULT VOICE)
How do I look?
Like a man
who's about to die.
LEONARD: (IN ADULT VOICE)
You're late, Knife.
Don't sweat it.
We had to duck
some of your friends
on the outskirts of the base.
Where are you?
I'm here.
Well...
Why don't you
come on out here
where I can get a look
at that pretty mug of yours?
The view is fine
from here, thanks.
Let's do business.
(BAND MUSIC PLAYING)
How do you
like that band,
Mr. Secretary?
Oh, splendid, General.
One of the best
I've heard in ages.
Excellent.
This better be genuine.
LEONARD:
Don't worry. It is.
(SNICKERING)
A DMDG.
I like it, Stinger.
Just what my boss
was looking for.
Now, where's
the data bursts?
LEONARD:
In the crate
right next to you.
Joe.
Hey, load up here.
(METAL CLANGING)
DARLA:
I hope he thinks it's real.
Don't worry.
You can tell your boss
there's plenty more of those
where they came from.
He's gonna have
to deal with me directly.
Is that so?
Let's see this thing here.
All right.
Hmm.
Yeah.
I'm sick and tired of
dealing with you
little people...
Huh?
Huh?
(GASPS)
Gotcha!
Hey!
(GRUNTING AND STRUGGLING)
Watch it!
Come here!
Look what I found.
Kids!
I don't believe this.
You little brat!
Down!
Give me that.
(CHUCKLING)
Nice try, short stack,
but now you're history!
You touch us, Knife,
and you're dead meat.
You're shark bait!
Yeah?
LEONARD: Let me go!
And so are you, shrimpy.
(ALARM BLARING)
Hey! What's going on?
Who cut the juice?
Ugh! Stink bomb!
Let's go!
Let's go!
We'll ride into boot camp!
Come on, Harry,
start it up!
Get the front door!
Come on!
Yow!
Let's pulverize
that little sand duck!
Get in the tunnel!
Let's go.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(GRUNTING)
Gentlemen.
Mr. Secretary,
you're gonna be thrilled
by this group
of young people
coming up.
MAN: Forward... March.
Follow them brats,
will ya?
MAN:
But which ones, boss?
Any of 'em!
Just try to find
the other ones, will ya?
Come on!
Put it in reverse,
let's go!
(ALARM BLARING
IN DISTANCE)
(CHANTING ORDERS)
(YELLING)
Whoo!
Look, Phillips is gone.
No kidding.
(EXCLAIMING)
SQUEAK: Faster, Bug!
Then hold on, Squeak.
Welcome back, guys.
Now let's go find the general.
Those guys
just don't know
when to quit.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
Whoa!
Get over! Get over!
Ha, ha!
ALL:
Born, raised, and trapped!
LEONARD: What are we?
ALL: We're military brats!
Yeah!
(GRUNTING AND SHOUTING)
I don't believe it.
We're talking
clogged pipes.
Yeah, I planned it
that way.
When you're in
this line of business,
you've gotta take some risk...
DARLA: It's Phillips!
And then there's times
you gotta kick out
in a major way.
Move, team!
(GUNS THUMP)
Excuse me, sir.
Um...
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Secretary,
and members of the press.
We've come to that
time of year again
when we must pay recognition
to the most outstanding
group of young people
here at Marine
Corp Air Station,
El Diablo.
A group that, time and again,
have come to
the aid of others.
Look sharp, men.
This is the big one.
Get down, get down!
ALL: Whoa!
Hey!
We supposed to salute?
We're very proud
of these young men because
they represent
the very best
in America today.
Ladies and gentlemen,
will you please
give a rousing welcome
to this year's
Youth Service
Award winners...
Time to accept
that award, gentlemen.
Number one
achievers this year.
Oh, no.
Not those guys again!
Here they are...
It's Kinsey!
The pride of El Diablo...
And he's got
a military escort!
(SHOUTING)
The B.R.A.T. Patrol?
Everybody freeze!
Newmeyer, if this is
your idea
of some kind of
a surprise party,
I'm not impressed.
Mr. Secretary, please.
If you just have
a little patience,
I'll explain everything.
Oh!
Mr. Kinsey!
You're history.
Now, as of now,
you and the B.R.A.T. Patrol
are barred from
this installation
instantly,
immediately, permanently!
No, I can explain, sir.
Don't believe him, General.
Sir, I caught these
juvenile delinquents
in the felonious act...
General, this man
and his band of crooks
have been ripping
off the marines!
Would you like me to arrest
these juvenile delinquents,
sir?
Immediately.
No, General,
you gotta believe us.
We got
the crooks and the goods.
They're gonna get away.
They're lying
through their teeth!
Pardon me, general.
I believe their story.
You what?
Give them a chance
to explain themselves,
to prove themselves, sir.
If what they're
saying is true,
it's certainly worth
looking into, General.
PHILLIPS: Sir, this is just
a waste of time.
Well, this better
be on the level.
Gentlemen.
It's right over here,
General Newmeyer.
Sir, these kids,
they're just leading you
on a wild goose chase.
We'll see about that.
PHILLIPS:
This is ridiculous,
General.
I mean,
who are you
listening to, these kids?
They'll just...
They'll say anything.
LEONARD:
Check this out, dudes.
General, sir.
Well, General.
Major, arrest that man.
Cuff him.
Uh... Please!
Son, I owe you all
an apology.
As well as
a debt of thanks.
You performed
a tremendous task
here today.
In fact, you've
made us all very proud.
So much so,
I can't wait for
you to volunteer
for some more
community service.
Now, what did you say
the name of your
organization was?
(CLEARS THROAT)
The B.R.A.T. Patrol, sir.
You're a punk!
You're gonna pay, Kinsey.
You're gonna pay.
Cool out, ho-dad.
Get your hands
off me, jarhead!
And get those
guys outta the cab.
Wish we had
a radio in here.
Would have been nice.
It isn't often that
I get the privilege
of presenting an award
to such a deserving group
of young people as
we have here today.
The B.R.A.T. Patrol
has proven itself to be
a true asset here at
El Diablo Air Base.
And hence is the recipient
of this year's
Youth Service Award.
Congratulations.
SQUEAK: B.R.A.T.
Patrol, B.R.A.T. Patrol.
B.R.A.T. Patrol...
B.R.A.T. Patrol.
CROWD: (CHANTING)
B.R.A.T. Patrol,
B.R.A.T. Patrol,
B.R.A.T.
Patrol, B.R.A.T. Patrol...
(MIMICS GUNFIRE)
All right, there you go!
There's not a whole lot
a guy can say
at a time like this.
But, I'd like to
thank the little people
who made today possible.
Thanks, guys.
You know...
There comes a time
in every man's life
when he's gotta take
a good look at himself
and say,
"Hey, you're pretty
darn terrific."
Believe me, I say that
to myself every morning.
But being a surf dude,
it isn't all chicks
and beach parties.
It's something more...
Some...
BUG: (CHUCKLING)
Good work, Squeak.
LEONARD:
Great. Thanks, Squeak.
(LAUGHING)