The Loud House (2016–…): Season 2, Episode 19 - The Loud House - full transcript
When Mom and Dad meet an impressive family they worry their kids aren't doing enough to ensure successful futures. Tired of Lynn's poor sportsmanship during board games, the siblings decide to team up to take her down.
- ♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls
like Ping-Pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles
♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪
♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Duck, dodge, push,
and shove ♪
♪ That's how we show our love
- ♪ In the Loud house,
in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ One boy and ten girls
♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud Loud Loud
♪ Loud house
- Poo-poo.
[upbeat rock music]
♪
- Say "hi" to the Internet!
[Lola's car honking]
[dog barking]
- ♪ I love to do nothing
♪ And hang out
and waste time ♪
- Ugh, I'm covered
in dandelions.
- Well, you look "dandy,"
and I'm not "lion." [laughing]
[car horn honks]
[pleasant big band music]
♪
- Who's that?
They look so, so...
[dreamily]
Perfect.
- Yeah, I'll say.
Their shiny teeth hurt my eyes.
- Looks like they bought
the Crowleys' old house.
- Guess we got a new family
moving in on the street.
- Let's put off weeding
until tomorrow
and go welcome them
to the neighborhood--
as soon as I clean up.
- On it!
[leaf blower whirring]
Good to go.
[guitar riff]
[knocking]
- Hi!
We're your neighbors.
I'm Rita Loud,
and this is my husband, Lynn.
- Great to meet you.
Bumper and Jancey Yates.
- And I brought you
a little housewarming gift--
some of my famous "Lynn-sagna."
- Thank you!
How nice.
Though, we really
don't do dairy.
- It makes our kids sluggish.
But we could share it
with the needy.
- Oh!
Won't you come in?
- Uh, we won't take up
too much of your time.
We're sure you have
a lot of unpacking to do--
- Or not.
- Wow. [laughs]
How did you do that so fast?
- We don't like
putting things off.
It sends a bad message
to the kids.
[all laughing]
- Oh!
Speaking of our kids...
- Hey, Mom and Dad.
Can I borrow the car tonight?
I have to be at practice,
and then
my computer coding class.
- Of course, Beatrix.
Don't forget to eat
your protein-based snack
before class,
and your carb-based snack after.
- I got first place
in the State Math Bowl!
- Great work, Bumper Jr.
You can put that
in the trophy room.
[pleasant big-band music]
♪
- I got the internship
at the UN!
- That's fantastic, Belle!
- And I finally nailed
that tricky passage
of Bach's
"Partita in D Minor."
♪
[Bumper and Jancey clapping]
- Almost.
But watch your transitions.
- Will you guys take me
to my gallery opening tonight?
- Of course, Beau.
- Gomawoyo.
- He's in a Korean-English
immersion program.
♪
- Wow, your kids
sure are impressive.
- Yeah, is there anything
they're not good at?
- Well, we feel like
they have to be well-rounded.
It's such a competitive world
out there.
- If we don't encourage them
to realize their full potential,
we're failing them.
I'm sure you guys can relate.
[guitar riff]
- So...they were nice.
- Oh, yeah.
[together]
We're failing our kids!
- Where are we going?
I was supposed to meet the guys
at the mud hole after school!
- Your father and I
signed you up
for some extracurricular
activities today.
- We just feel it's
really important for you guys
to be well-rounded
in this competitive world.
- Well-rounded?
[laughs] You want us to bulk up?
Sweet.
- No, Lynn, you're actually
going to the learning center.
- You're great at sports, honey,
but to realize
your full potential,
you could use a boost
in your academics.
- I'm great at math.
A TD plus extra point
equals seven, but if you go
for a conversion,
then it's eight.
Boom! Math!
[tires squealing]
Flag on the play!
- Uh, "Ceramics Studio"?
Are we lost?
- No, sweetie.
This is your stop.
You're great at science,
but to be well-rounded,
you need to embrace the arts.
[tires squealing]
- Yes, good call.
I was just on the verge
of curing the H1N1 virus,
but, hey,
why don't I go make
a coffee mug instead?
- Royal Woods Community College?
What the hey, Pop Star?
- Luna, we love your fun lingo,
but to get ahead in life,
it wouldn't hurt
to brush up on your English.
[door creaks open]
- That's wack, bro.
- And Lori and Leni,
you'll be taking
SAT prep classes.
That's the best way
to get into a good college.
- What about just using
the front door?
- Let's book Leni
for the double session.
[tires squealing]
- We don't need no education!
- Life isn't all about
laughs, honey.
We think you'll learn
more about serious matters
by interning
at the mayor's office.
- Well, "mayor" day
be ruined, too.
[laughs] Get it?
But seriously,
I don't wanna do this.
- Basketball?
- We love how
independent you are, honey,
but when you get out
into the real world,
you'll need to know
how to work with a team.
- Of humans?Blech.
- Volunteering at a soup kitchen
will look great on your resume.
- You know
what won't look great?
Me in a hairnet!
- Finishing school
will teach you
some valuable social graces.
- I got social graces
up the wazoo!
[burps]
- Where am I going?
A police academy?
Military school?
- Nope, you're going home.
To read comics.
[angelic choral music]
- I knew I was your favorite.
"The Senator Squad"?
"Lawmaking in action"?
- Yes, these are
educational comic books.
They'll help
broaden your outlook.
- So...not your favorite.
[guitar riff]
- I'm so proud of us.
- Me too.
Our kids are on their way
to becoming well-rounded,
high-achieving adults.
- Just like their 'rents, huh?
So, wanna watch that video
of old people
falling out of boats?
- Do I!
[old man shouts, water splashes]
♪
- Another day,
another educational comic.
- At least you don't have to
spend your day
making ceramic gravy boats.
- At least you can talk
how you wanna, bro--
I mean, m'lady.
- [yawns]
Kids, where are you going?
It's Saturday.
Go have fun.
[all cheering]
♪
- Luan, that's not a duck face.
[camera snaps]
[scoffs] Leni!
I wasn't ready!
- Say hi to the Internet!
- ♪ Do-wah, do-wah, do-wah
[Luna playing guitar,
horn honking]
- Hiya, Louds.
- Hey there, neighbors.
Got some fun plans
for the weekend?
- Yes, we do!
We're doing some volunteer work
for the city--
planting trees.
- It's all about
turning downtime
into well-round time.
- Najunge boja!
[dramatic musical flourish]
[traffic whirring]
- What happened to
"it's Saturday"?
The only thing I should
be picking up is my axe.
- You'll thank us
for this one day.
- [screams]
- But probably not today.
- I've got mud in my mouth.
- Lucky.
♪
- I'm going to be seeing
hamburger wrappers
in my sleep tonight.
- All right, kids.
[children gasp in fear]
- You're free to do
whatever you want
for the rest of the day.
- Guys!
I just ran into Bumper Sr.
at the coffee shop,
and he said they're taking
their kids to the symphony
for cultural enrichment!
- What?
Wash up, kids.
We're going to the opera!
[children groan]
[man singing operatically]
- [whispering]
Do they look enriched?
[children snoring]
[classical flourish]
- Wasn't that enriching, guys?
- I just ran into Jancey.
Her kids are raising money
for schools.
She says it's important
to keep them civic-minded.
- Back in the car!
[children groan]
- I'm really starting
to not like the Yateses.
[guitar riff]
[knocking]
- Hi.
Are you registered to vote?
- Bogus, dude--
I mean...
[affected accent]
That was rather uncouth.
[doors slamming]
- I know where you live!
♪
- Can we please go to bed now?
- Of course.
Jancey says kids need
10 hours of sleep
for maximum brain growth.
- Oh, well,
thank goodness for Jancey.
- I think we've earned
a little R and R.
You wanna watch that show
where they reenact old movies
with cats?
- Do I!
[dramatic music,
cats meowing]
announcer: We interrupt
"Cats-ablanca"
for this special news report.
- I'm standing here
with the Yates family,
who just saved
an endangered turtle.
- We want our kids
to appreciate the importance
of protecting wildlife.
- Dang it!
We didn't think about that one.
- Kids, wake up!
We're going turtle saving!
♪
[turtle growls]
- You wanna feed him, honey?
I've been doing it all week.
[chuckles nervously]
- [chomps]
- Ow.
- [chomps]
[both yelp]
[door creaks open]
- Hey, Mom and Dad.
I passed finishing school
with honors.
- I took first
in the State Math Bowl.
- We just took
our practice SATS.
My verbal score
went up 200 points.
- Mine too,
so now it's 200.
- Behold the fruits
of my ceramic labors:
13 full-place settings.
- I made the all-star team.
- We cleared
the entire interstate
from here to Flint.
- I tutored some new citizens
in English,
then registered them to vote.
- I helped solve
the city's parking crisis.
- Wow, guys!
This is all so amazing.
We're so proud of you.
- What say we take
a little break
and get our ice cream on, huh?
- Sorry, Daddy.
Ice cream doesn't look good
on a resume--
especially if you spill it.
- Plus, it'll literally
just make us sluggish.
- Well, how about
a little trip to the movies?
- I don't see how that
will help us get ahead in life.
- Regretfully, I must concur.
Now we must excuse ourselves
to study our state capitols
flash cards.
- No ice cream?
- No movie?
[together]
We're failing our kids!
- Kids, come outside!
[guitar riff]
- Can we make this quick?
You're cutting into
our well-rounded time.
- Forget about
well-rounded time.
Forget about everything.
Just go have fun.
- Is this a trick?
- No.
We're sorry we've been forcing
all these activities
on you guys.
We got so caught up
in worrying about your future
that we forgot about
your present.
- But what about college?
- And our resumes?
- And embracing the arts?
- That stuff's important,
but there will be plenty
of time for that.
You're kids!
You should enjoy being kids.
[all cheering]
[car honking]
- Leni, there's a--
ah, whatever.
Say "hi" to the Internet!
- [screams]
Ah! Spider!
- Hey there, Louds.
We're off to the Postal Museum.
- Learning about the past
will help our kids
shape the future
What are you guys doing?
[Leni screaming, Luan giggling]
- Just having fun!
- Fun?
What's the purpose of that?
- Well, we think
that in this competitive world,
it's good to let kids
unwind a little.
- Huh.
We didn't think of that one.
- I guess if we switch
from the 12:00 tour
to the 12:15,
we can squeeze in...
seven minutes of fun.
What do you say, kids?
[upbeat rock music]
[children laughing]
- Hey,
while the kids are playing,
do you wanna watch videos
of old people
falling out of boats?
Jancey and Bumper:
Do I!
[heavy rock music]
♪
[Lincoln shouts]
- You ready, Stinkin'?
It's go time!Whoo!
- Tonight's game night
in the Loud house.
Sounds fun, right?
Not when you have a sister
like Lynn.
- Yo, twins!
Hope you read the menu,
'cause you're about
to get served!
- It's not that the rest of us
don't like playing games.
Heck, we don't even care
that Lynn wins every time.
It's just...
She's not exactly
a "good winner."
- Oh yeah, baby!
I win!
Lynn-er, Lynn-er,
chicken dinner!
- I thought
we were having salmon.
[heavy rock music]
- Yes!
I win!
Hah!
Losers clean up!
- And if you think that's bad,
last week she waited
till everyone fell asleep
and then wrote "loser"
on their foreheads.
Fortunately,
I got out of that one.
♪
- Hey, I was just wondering,
do you guys know
any good therapists?
- Well, Clyde recommends--
- To help you deal
with your loss tonight?
Burn!
[siblings sigh]
- Okay, guys.
What'll it be tonight?
- Go-go fishie.
- Good choice, Lily.
Go Fish it is.
♪
- Lynn, do you possess
any sevens?
- Hope you've got gas
in your boat.
- Pardon?
I have no aquatic vehicles.
- 'Cause you're going fishing!
- Lori, you seemed
pretty interested
in deuces last round.
Got any?
- [sighs]
- Boom!
[heavy rock music]
Welcome to Losertown,
population: you, you, you, you,
you, you, you, you, you, you.
- Well, now that
that's over with...
- Wait, wait, wait.
Hold up!
Tonight's special.
It's my...
[button beeps]
300th win in a row!
I am unbeaten by you chumps!
[celebratory music]
Whoo!
- [coughing]
Dudes, this confetti's
made from our homework.
Bogus!
- [sighs]
I can't take this anymore.
She is so obnoxious.
- If only we could beat her
just once,
maybe she'd stop gloating.
- How are we gonna do that
when she's better
at every game on the shelf?
- Maybe we need to try
a game that isn't on the shelf--
something
that Lynn doesn't know,
something that one of us
is really good at.
- I think I might
have just the game.
- "Pretty, Pretty
Pageant Queen"?
I don't even know
how to play this.
- Oh, okay.
If you're afraid of losing--
- I'm no loser.
It is on!
♪
- Oh! Just earned my sash.
Just two spaces from being
the pretty, pretty
pageant queen!
- Hold up.
It says in the rule book
that if you can roll
three tens at once,
you get three tens
from the judges
and an automatic win.
[spits, dice rattle]
- [scoffs] Good luck.
The odds of such an occurrence
would be 1 in 1,720--
- Did it!
[siblings gasp]
- [groans]
- [grunts happily]
Lynn-er, Lynn-er,
chicken dinner!
[imitates clucking]
- We will never beat her--
at anything.
- I know a game
I can beat her at.
[toilet flushes]
Plumbing Pro.
You have to remove
all the objects
from the plumbing
without touching the sides.
- [scoffs] This looks easy.
I'll start by removing
the hairball
from the shower drain.
[game buzzes]
- Uh-oh!
You touched the side.
One more buzz and you lose.
- [growls]
'Scuse me a second.
[door creaks open, slams]
[grunts]
You wanna lose, Lynn?
[grunting] Huh, huh?
You wanna be the mayor
of Losertown?
[grunts]
Then get your head in the game.
[grunts]
[shouts]
[door creaks]
- She's coming back in.
- Let's do this!
[shouts]
[heavy rock music]
[game flushes]
Yes!
Another win for Lynn.
[game cracks,
siblings sigh]
- Guys!
I don't know why
I didn't think of this earlier.
The Ace Savvy trivia game!
There's no way she can beat me.
♪
- Okay, guys.
Whoever answers
this last question right, wins.
[ticking music]
- [whispering]
Lincoln,
what the heck?
You haven't gotten
a single answer right.
- It's not my fault.
Lynn keeps getting in my head.
- "Who is Ace Savvy's sidekick?"
[buzzer sounds]
- Oh, that's so easy.
- Oh, is it?
Are you sure?
It could be a trick question.
I'm just sayin'.
[chuckles]
Game's riding on this.
It'd sure be a shame
if you choked.
[imitates choking]
[tense music]
- Massachusetts!
[buzzer sounds]
- [scoffs]
Even I know this one.
It's One-Eyed Jack.
- Correct.
- Boom!I win!
Better get out of here
before I breathe in
too many loser fumes.
- Sorry, guys.
I totally choked.
- It's okay, Lincoln.
[sighs]
None of us is good enough
to beat her.
- But what about all of us?
Behold!
"The Settlers of Cat-Land."
The objective is to build
as many cat structures
as possible.
But here's the kicker:
One cannot do so
without forming alliances.
Ergo,
if we freeze out Lynn,
she is bound to go down
in proverbial flames.
[victorious ringing]
- What? [stammering]
Seriously?
No one has a yarn ball
to trade me for some catnip?
- [chuckles] Fresh out!
[siblings murmuring]
- [groans]
I can't build squat.
This game bites it--hard!
[timer rings and meows]
- Well, I see our time is up.
We have a ten-way tie for first,
with Lynn in a distant second.
- Count it again!
- Lynn, I do not make errors.
[victorious ringing]
[siblings cheering]
Well, that ought to stop
Lynn's competitive behavior.
- And all of her gloating.
- Yeah,
I'd say we really
got her "gloat."
We put her on
a "gloat-en"-free diet!
Unless she's a "gloat-en"
for punishment!
Hey, where are you going?
I'm just "gloat-in" started!
♪
- [slurping]
- I can chug faster than you!
[swallowing violently]
[burps]I win!
In your face, "Milk-coln"!Whoo!
[heavy rock music]
Race you to the top!
[crunch]
- Ow!
- Whoo-hoo!
I win!
[laughs] You went down hard.
- I thought I was going up.
- [babbling]
- Yes!I win.
[chanting rhythmically]Uh-huh!
♪
[explosion]
- Boom, I win!
Made an explosion first.
- I wasn't trying
to make an explosion!
[explosion]
Dang it.
- I can wash faster than you.
[rapid splashing]
I can brush faster than you!
[spits, tooth boings]
I can go to sleep the fastest!
[siblings groan]
I can also snore the loudest!
[snoring rapidly]
[siblings groan]
Whoo!
I was up first!
[laughs] Lori, I totally ate
more bacon than you.
Loser!
- [groans]
- Where are you going?
- Anywhere I can
be away from Lynn.
- Pancake challenge, right now!
Which one of you lame-os
is gonna man up?
- Please, take us with you.
- [sighs contentedly]
This is sweet, right dudes?
[siblings chatter in agreement]
- I really need
a break from her.
- Come on, Lynn!
Push it, push it!
Dig deep!
[panting]
Yeah, you lose!
Eat my dust!
[panting]
[siblings groan]
[banging]
- We all know why we're here.
The Lynne situation
is literally the worst thing
that's ever happened.
- [grumbles] We never should've
beat her at that cat game.
- I say we challenge Lynn
to a rematch--
only this time,
we throw the game.
That way, she'll feel
like a winner again,
and stop driving us crazy.
- A rematch, huh?
[chuckling] Well,
this place is
gonna be spotless--
after I wipe the floor with you!
Booyah!
Let's do this.
Will anyone trade me
a scratching post
for a laser pointer?
- Sure!
- Take mine, take mine!
- Will anyone trade me
a cat bed for a litter box?
- Negatory.
- Sorry!
- I gave my last one to Lynn.
- Your turn, Lynn.
- Yes!
Ball of twine, chumps.
[dice rattling]
One? Gah!
Come on!
[thump]
- Are you sure you
read that right?
- Six all day long, baby!
♪
Hope you guys are hungry,
'cause it's almost time
for Lynn-er, Lynn-er,
chicken dinner!
Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling!
[mysterious string music]
[game pieces clatter]
[siblings shouting]
- What the--
- What's wrong with you?
- Why would you do that?
- What?
The plan was to throw the game,
and no one else
was doing it!
- Wait a sec.
Throw the game?
You guys were trying
to lose to me on purpose?
- Okay, yes we were.
We just thought
if we let you win,
you'd stop being
so insanely competitive with us.
- I was just trying
to get my edge back
after losing to you guys.
- Well,
to be completely transparent,
the only reason you lost
is because we all
teamed up against you.
- What?
Why would you do that?
- 'Cause after your 300 wins--
- Well, technically 303,
but who's counting.
- We couldn't take
your gloating anymore, dude.
- Yeah, we were all
in the same "gloat."
We were tired of eating
your "gloat-meal"!
- Not now, Luan.
- Wow.
So, you're saying
I'm a bad loser
and a bad winner?
- Precisely.
- You all feel this way?
- Yeah.
- Kinda.
- Afraid so.
- We feel this way.
- I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to be a jerk.
I just love playing games,
especially with you guys.
Look,
if you give me another chance,
I promise to be a better sport.
What do you say?
- Why not!
- Okay, Lynn.
- Yes, first to apologize!
Uh, sorry,
that was the last one.
Better sport, starting...now.
♪
- That's all my cards.
So I guess...
- You can say it.
You win.
- Okay, cool.
I win.
Good game, guys.
Good game.
[door creaks open, slams]
[heavy rock music]
Yeah! I rule!
Lynn-er, Lynn-er,
chicken dinner!
[singing]
- At least it's not
to our faces.
- She is trying.
- She was pretty good!
- Getting there.
- Baby steps!
- [grunts, shouts]
Winner!
- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Loud house
- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house
♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line to take a pee
♪ Never any privacy
♪ Chaos with 11 kids
♪ That's the way
it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house
the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls
like Ping-Pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles
♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪
♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Duck, dodge, push,
and shove ♪
♪ That's how we show our love
- ♪ In the Loud house,
in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ One boy and ten girls
♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud Loud Loud
♪ Loud house
- Poo-poo.
[upbeat rock music]
♪
- Say "hi" to the Internet!
[Lola's car honking]
[dog barking]
- ♪ I love to do nothing
♪ And hang out
and waste time ♪
- Ugh, I'm covered
in dandelions.
- Well, you look "dandy,"
and I'm not "lion." [laughing]
[car horn honks]
[pleasant big band music]
♪
- Who's that?
They look so, so...
[dreamily]
Perfect.
- Yeah, I'll say.
Their shiny teeth hurt my eyes.
- Looks like they bought
the Crowleys' old house.
- Guess we got a new family
moving in on the street.
- Let's put off weeding
until tomorrow
and go welcome them
to the neighborhood--
as soon as I clean up.
- On it!
[leaf blower whirring]
Good to go.
[guitar riff]
[knocking]
- Hi!
We're your neighbors.
I'm Rita Loud,
and this is my husband, Lynn.
- Great to meet you.
Bumper and Jancey Yates.
- And I brought you
a little housewarming gift--
some of my famous "Lynn-sagna."
- Thank you!
How nice.
Though, we really
don't do dairy.
- It makes our kids sluggish.
But we could share it
with the needy.
- Oh!
Won't you come in?
- Uh, we won't take up
too much of your time.
We're sure you have
a lot of unpacking to do--
- Or not.
- Wow. [laughs]
How did you do that so fast?
- We don't like
putting things off.
It sends a bad message
to the kids.
[all laughing]
- Oh!
Speaking of our kids...
- Hey, Mom and Dad.
Can I borrow the car tonight?
I have to be at practice,
and then
my computer coding class.
- Of course, Beatrix.
Don't forget to eat
your protein-based snack
before class,
and your carb-based snack after.
- I got first place
in the State Math Bowl!
- Great work, Bumper Jr.
You can put that
in the trophy room.
[pleasant big-band music]
♪
- I got the internship
at the UN!
- That's fantastic, Belle!
- And I finally nailed
that tricky passage
of Bach's
"Partita in D Minor."
♪
[Bumper and Jancey clapping]
- Almost.
But watch your transitions.
- Will you guys take me
to my gallery opening tonight?
- Of course, Beau.
- Gomawoyo.
- He's in a Korean-English
immersion program.
♪
- Wow, your kids
sure are impressive.
- Yeah, is there anything
they're not good at?
- Well, we feel like
they have to be well-rounded.
It's such a competitive world
out there.
- If we don't encourage them
to realize their full potential,
we're failing them.
I'm sure you guys can relate.
[guitar riff]
- So...they were nice.
- Oh, yeah.
[together]
We're failing our kids!
- Where are we going?
I was supposed to meet the guys
at the mud hole after school!
- Your father and I
signed you up
for some extracurricular
activities today.
- We just feel it's
really important for you guys
to be well-rounded
in this competitive world.
- Well-rounded?
[laughs] You want us to bulk up?
Sweet.
- No, Lynn, you're actually
going to the learning center.
- You're great at sports, honey,
but to realize
your full potential,
you could use a boost
in your academics.
- I'm great at math.
A TD plus extra point
equals seven, but if you go
for a conversion,
then it's eight.
Boom! Math!
[tires squealing]
Flag on the play!
- Uh, "Ceramics Studio"?
Are we lost?
- No, sweetie.
This is your stop.
You're great at science,
but to be well-rounded,
you need to embrace the arts.
[tires squealing]
- Yes, good call.
I was just on the verge
of curing the H1N1 virus,
but, hey,
why don't I go make
a coffee mug instead?
- Royal Woods Community College?
What the hey, Pop Star?
- Luna, we love your fun lingo,
but to get ahead in life,
it wouldn't hurt
to brush up on your English.
[door creaks open]
- That's wack, bro.
- And Lori and Leni,
you'll be taking
SAT prep classes.
That's the best way
to get into a good college.
- What about just using
the front door?
- Let's book Leni
for the double session.
[tires squealing]
- We don't need no education!
- Life isn't all about
laughs, honey.
We think you'll learn
more about serious matters
by interning
at the mayor's office.
- Well, "mayor" day
be ruined, too.
[laughs] Get it?
But seriously,
I don't wanna do this.
- Basketball?
- We love how
independent you are, honey,
but when you get out
into the real world,
you'll need to know
how to work with a team.
- Of humans?Blech.
- Volunteering at a soup kitchen
will look great on your resume.
- You know
what won't look great?
Me in a hairnet!
- Finishing school
will teach you
some valuable social graces.
- I got social graces
up the wazoo!
[burps]
- Where am I going?
A police academy?
Military school?
- Nope, you're going home.
To read comics.
[angelic choral music]
- I knew I was your favorite.
"The Senator Squad"?
"Lawmaking in action"?
- Yes, these are
educational comic books.
They'll help
broaden your outlook.
- So...not your favorite.
[guitar riff]
- I'm so proud of us.
- Me too.
Our kids are on their way
to becoming well-rounded,
high-achieving adults.
- Just like their 'rents, huh?
So, wanna watch that video
of old people
falling out of boats?
- Do I!
[old man shouts, water splashes]
♪
- Another day,
another educational comic.
- At least you don't have to
spend your day
making ceramic gravy boats.
- At least you can talk
how you wanna, bro--
I mean, m'lady.
- [yawns]
Kids, where are you going?
It's Saturday.
Go have fun.
[all cheering]
♪
- Luan, that's not a duck face.
[camera snaps]
[scoffs] Leni!
I wasn't ready!
- Say hi to the Internet!
- ♪ Do-wah, do-wah, do-wah
[Luna playing guitar,
horn honking]
- Hiya, Louds.
- Hey there, neighbors.
Got some fun plans
for the weekend?
- Yes, we do!
We're doing some volunteer work
for the city--
planting trees.
- It's all about
turning downtime
into well-round time.
- Najunge boja!
[dramatic musical flourish]
[traffic whirring]
- What happened to
"it's Saturday"?
The only thing I should
be picking up is my axe.
- You'll thank us
for this one day.
- [screams]
- But probably not today.
- I've got mud in my mouth.
- Lucky.
♪
- I'm going to be seeing
hamburger wrappers
in my sleep tonight.
- All right, kids.
[children gasp in fear]
- You're free to do
whatever you want
for the rest of the day.
- Guys!
I just ran into Bumper Sr.
at the coffee shop,
and he said they're taking
their kids to the symphony
for cultural enrichment!
- What?
Wash up, kids.
We're going to the opera!
[children groan]
[man singing operatically]
- [whispering]
Do they look enriched?
[children snoring]
[classical flourish]
- Wasn't that enriching, guys?
- I just ran into Jancey.
Her kids are raising money
for schools.
She says it's important
to keep them civic-minded.
- Back in the car!
[children groan]
- I'm really starting
to not like the Yateses.
[guitar riff]
[knocking]
- Hi.
Are you registered to vote?
- Bogus, dude--
I mean...
[affected accent]
That was rather uncouth.
[doors slamming]
- I know where you live!
♪
- Can we please go to bed now?
- Of course.
Jancey says kids need
10 hours of sleep
for maximum brain growth.
- Oh, well,
thank goodness for Jancey.
- I think we've earned
a little R and R.
You wanna watch that show
where they reenact old movies
with cats?
- Do I!
[dramatic music,
cats meowing]
announcer: We interrupt
"Cats-ablanca"
for this special news report.
- I'm standing here
with the Yates family,
who just saved
an endangered turtle.
- We want our kids
to appreciate the importance
of protecting wildlife.
- Dang it!
We didn't think about that one.
- Kids, wake up!
We're going turtle saving!
♪
[turtle growls]
- You wanna feed him, honey?
I've been doing it all week.
[chuckles nervously]
- [chomps]
- Ow.
- [chomps]
[both yelp]
[door creaks open]
- Hey, Mom and Dad.
I passed finishing school
with honors.
- I took first
in the State Math Bowl.
- We just took
our practice SATS.
My verbal score
went up 200 points.
- Mine too,
so now it's 200.
- Behold the fruits
of my ceramic labors:
13 full-place settings.
- I made the all-star team.
- We cleared
the entire interstate
from here to Flint.
- I tutored some new citizens
in English,
then registered them to vote.
- I helped solve
the city's parking crisis.
- Wow, guys!
This is all so amazing.
We're so proud of you.
- What say we take
a little break
and get our ice cream on, huh?
- Sorry, Daddy.
Ice cream doesn't look good
on a resume--
especially if you spill it.
- Plus, it'll literally
just make us sluggish.
- Well, how about
a little trip to the movies?
- I don't see how that
will help us get ahead in life.
- Regretfully, I must concur.
Now we must excuse ourselves
to study our state capitols
flash cards.
- No ice cream?
- No movie?
[together]
We're failing our kids!
- Kids, come outside!
[guitar riff]
- Can we make this quick?
You're cutting into
our well-rounded time.
- Forget about
well-rounded time.
Forget about everything.
Just go have fun.
- Is this a trick?
- No.
We're sorry we've been forcing
all these activities
on you guys.
We got so caught up
in worrying about your future
that we forgot about
your present.
- But what about college?
- And our resumes?
- And embracing the arts?
- That stuff's important,
but there will be plenty
of time for that.
You're kids!
You should enjoy being kids.
[all cheering]
[car honking]
- Leni, there's a--
ah, whatever.
Say "hi" to the Internet!
- [screams]
Ah! Spider!
- Hey there, Louds.
We're off to the Postal Museum.
- Learning about the past
will help our kids
shape the future
What are you guys doing?
[Leni screaming, Luan giggling]
- Just having fun!
- Fun?
What's the purpose of that?
- Well, we think
that in this competitive world,
it's good to let kids
unwind a little.
- Huh.
We didn't think of that one.
- I guess if we switch
from the 12:00 tour
to the 12:15,
we can squeeze in...
seven minutes of fun.
What do you say, kids?
[upbeat rock music]
[children laughing]
- Hey,
while the kids are playing,
do you wanna watch videos
of old people
falling out of boats?
Jancey and Bumper:
Do I!
[heavy rock music]
♪
[Lincoln shouts]
- You ready, Stinkin'?
It's go time!Whoo!
- Tonight's game night
in the Loud house.
Sounds fun, right?
Not when you have a sister
like Lynn.
- Yo, twins!
Hope you read the menu,
'cause you're about
to get served!
- It's not that the rest of us
don't like playing games.
Heck, we don't even care
that Lynn wins every time.
It's just...
She's not exactly
a "good winner."
- Oh yeah, baby!
I win!
Lynn-er, Lynn-er,
chicken dinner!
- I thought
we were having salmon.
[heavy rock music]
- Yes!
I win!
Hah!
Losers clean up!
- And if you think that's bad,
last week she waited
till everyone fell asleep
and then wrote "loser"
on their foreheads.
Fortunately,
I got out of that one.
♪
- Hey, I was just wondering,
do you guys know
any good therapists?
- Well, Clyde recommends--
- To help you deal
with your loss tonight?
Burn!
[siblings sigh]
- Okay, guys.
What'll it be tonight?
- Go-go fishie.
- Good choice, Lily.
Go Fish it is.
♪
- Lynn, do you possess
any sevens?
- Hope you've got gas
in your boat.
- Pardon?
I have no aquatic vehicles.
- 'Cause you're going fishing!
- Lori, you seemed
pretty interested
in deuces last round.
Got any?
- [sighs]
- Boom!
[heavy rock music]
Welcome to Losertown,
population: you, you, you, you,
you, you, you, you, you, you.
- Well, now that
that's over with...
- Wait, wait, wait.
Hold up!
Tonight's special.
It's my...
[button beeps]
300th win in a row!
I am unbeaten by you chumps!
[celebratory music]
Whoo!
- [coughing]
Dudes, this confetti's
made from our homework.
Bogus!
- [sighs]
I can't take this anymore.
She is so obnoxious.
- If only we could beat her
just once,
maybe she'd stop gloating.
- How are we gonna do that
when she's better
at every game on the shelf?
- Maybe we need to try
a game that isn't on the shelf--
something
that Lynn doesn't know,
something that one of us
is really good at.
- I think I might
have just the game.
- "Pretty, Pretty
Pageant Queen"?
I don't even know
how to play this.
- Oh, okay.
If you're afraid of losing--
- I'm no loser.
It is on!
♪
- Oh! Just earned my sash.
Just two spaces from being
the pretty, pretty
pageant queen!
- Hold up.
It says in the rule book
that if you can roll
three tens at once,
you get three tens
from the judges
and an automatic win.
[spits, dice rattle]
- [scoffs] Good luck.
The odds of such an occurrence
would be 1 in 1,720--
- Did it!
[siblings gasp]
- [groans]
- [grunts happily]
Lynn-er, Lynn-er,
chicken dinner!
[imitates clucking]
- We will never beat her--
at anything.
- I know a game
I can beat her at.
[toilet flushes]
Plumbing Pro.
You have to remove
all the objects
from the plumbing
without touching the sides.
- [scoffs] This looks easy.
I'll start by removing
the hairball
from the shower drain.
[game buzzes]
- Uh-oh!
You touched the side.
One more buzz and you lose.
- [growls]
'Scuse me a second.
[door creaks open, slams]
[grunts]
You wanna lose, Lynn?
[grunting] Huh, huh?
You wanna be the mayor
of Losertown?
[grunts]
Then get your head in the game.
[grunts]
[shouts]
[door creaks]
- She's coming back in.
- Let's do this!
[shouts]
[heavy rock music]
[game flushes]
Yes!
Another win for Lynn.
[game cracks,
siblings sigh]
- Guys!
I don't know why
I didn't think of this earlier.
The Ace Savvy trivia game!
There's no way she can beat me.
♪
- Okay, guys.
Whoever answers
this last question right, wins.
[ticking music]
- [whispering]
Lincoln,
what the heck?
You haven't gotten
a single answer right.
- It's not my fault.
Lynn keeps getting in my head.
- "Who is Ace Savvy's sidekick?"
[buzzer sounds]
- Oh, that's so easy.
- Oh, is it?
Are you sure?
It could be a trick question.
I'm just sayin'.
[chuckles]
Game's riding on this.
It'd sure be a shame
if you choked.
[imitates choking]
[tense music]
- Massachusetts!
[buzzer sounds]
- [scoffs]
Even I know this one.
It's One-Eyed Jack.
- Correct.
- Boom!I win!
Better get out of here
before I breathe in
too many loser fumes.
- Sorry, guys.
I totally choked.
- It's okay, Lincoln.
[sighs]
None of us is good enough
to beat her.
- But what about all of us?
Behold!
"The Settlers of Cat-Land."
The objective is to build
as many cat structures
as possible.
But here's the kicker:
One cannot do so
without forming alliances.
Ergo,
if we freeze out Lynn,
she is bound to go down
in proverbial flames.
[victorious ringing]
- What? [stammering]
Seriously?
No one has a yarn ball
to trade me for some catnip?
- [chuckles] Fresh out!
[siblings murmuring]
- [groans]
I can't build squat.
This game bites it--hard!
[timer rings and meows]
- Well, I see our time is up.
We have a ten-way tie for first,
with Lynn in a distant second.
- Count it again!
- Lynn, I do not make errors.
[victorious ringing]
[siblings cheering]
Well, that ought to stop
Lynn's competitive behavior.
- And all of her gloating.
- Yeah,
I'd say we really
got her "gloat."
We put her on
a "gloat-en"-free diet!
Unless she's a "gloat-en"
for punishment!
Hey, where are you going?
I'm just "gloat-in" started!
♪
- [slurping]
- I can chug faster than you!
[swallowing violently]
[burps]I win!
In your face, "Milk-coln"!Whoo!
[heavy rock music]
Race you to the top!
[crunch]
- Ow!
- Whoo-hoo!
I win!
[laughs] You went down hard.
- I thought I was going up.
- [babbling]
- Yes!I win.
[chanting rhythmically]Uh-huh!
♪
[explosion]
- Boom, I win!
Made an explosion first.
- I wasn't trying
to make an explosion!
[explosion]
Dang it.
- I can wash faster than you.
[rapid splashing]
I can brush faster than you!
[spits, tooth boings]
I can go to sleep the fastest!
[siblings groan]
I can also snore the loudest!
[snoring rapidly]
[siblings groan]
Whoo!
I was up first!
[laughs] Lori, I totally ate
more bacon than you.
Loser!
- [groans]
- Where are you going?
- Anywhere I can
be away from Lynn.
- Pancake challenge, right now!
Which one of you lame-os
is gonna man up?
- Please, take us with you.
- [sighs contentedly]
This is sweet, right dudes?
[siblings chatter in agreement]
- I really need
a break from her.
- Come on, Lynn!
Push it, push it!
Dig deep!
[panting]
Yeah, you lose!
Eat my dust!
[panting]
[siblings groan]
[banging]
- We all know why we're here.
The Lynne situation
is literally the worst thing
that's ever happened.
- [grumbles] We never should've
beat her at that cat game.
- I say we challenge Lynn
to a rematch--
only this time,
we throw the game.
That way, she'll feel
like a winner again,
and stop driving us crazy.
- A rematch, huh?
[chuckling] Well,
this place is
gonna be spotless--
after I wipe the floor with you!
Booyah!
Let's do this.
Will anyone trade me
a scratching post
for a laser pointer?
- Sure!
- Take mine, take mine!
- Will anyone trade me
a cat bed for a litter box?
- Negatory.
- Sorry!
- I gave my last one to Lynn.
- Your turn, Lynn.
- Yes!
Ball of twine, chumps.
[dice rattling]
One? Gah!
Come on!
[thump]
- Are you sure you
read that right?
- Six all day long, baby!
♪
Hope you guys are hungry,
'cause it's almost time
for Lynn-er, Lynn-er,
chicken dinner!
Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling!
[mysterious string music]
[game pieces clatter]
[siblings shouting]
- What the--
- What's wrong with you?
- Why would you do that?
- What?
The plan was to throw the game,
and no one else
was doing it!
- Wait a sec.
Throw the game?
You guys were trying
to lose to me on purpose?
- Okay, yes we were.
We just thought
if we let you win,
you'd stop being
so insanely competitive with us.
- I was just trying
to get my edge back
after losing to you guys.
- Well,
to be completely transparent,
the only reason you lost
is because we all
teamed up against you.
- What?
Why would you do that?
- 'Cause after your 300 wins--
- Well, technically 303,
but who's counting.
- We couldn't take
your gloating anymore, dude.
- Yeah, we were all
in the same "gloat."
We were tired of eating
your "gloat-meal"!
- Not now, Luan.
- Wow.
So, you're saying
I'm a bad loser
and a bad winner?
- Precisely.
- You all feel this way?
- Yeah.
- Kinda.
- Afraid so.
- We feel this way.
- I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to be a jerk.
I just love playing games,
especially with you guys.
Look,
if you give me another chance,
I promise to be a better sport.
What do you say?
- Why not!
- Okay, Lynn.
- Yes, first to apologize!
Uh, sorry,
that was the last one.
Better sport, starting...now.
♪
- That's all my cards.
So I guess...
- You can say it.
You win.
- Okay, cool.
I win.
Good game, guys.
Good game.
[door creaks open, slams]
[heavy rock music]
Yeah! I rule!
Lynn-er, Lynn-er,
chicken dinner!
[singing]
- At least it's not
to our faces.
- She is trying.
- She was pretty good!
- Getting there.
- Baby steps!
- [grunts, shouts]
Winner!
- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Loud house
- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house
♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line to take a pee
♪ Never any privacy
♪ Chaos with 11 kids
♪ That's the way
it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house